TODAY: The Supreme Court rules that a president committing crimes is just dudes hanging out, and we discuss whether this changes anything in our political landscape

ALSO: Nathan’s Hot Dogs bans the vegan met traitor Joey Chestnuts from competing in their hot dog eating contest after the professional eater gets a sponsorship from Impossible Foods. Right before the 4th of July, too

FINALLY: American patriots smother their entire home in a giant American Flag to show how normal it is to support the country. Looks great, folks!

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