0:43

Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. With the

0:45

price of just about everything going up during

0:47

inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

0:50

So to help us, we brought in a reverse

0:52

auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint

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Mobile unlimited, premium wireless. How did you get

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30-30? How did you get 30-30? How

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did you get 30-30? How did you get 30-40? You bet you get

1:00

20-20, you bet you get 15-15, 15-15, just 15 bucks a month. Sold!

2:00

the concept. So we do two shows a week.

2:02

One of them is just us two chatting shit

2:04

and the other one is us taking questions on

2:06

a theme of our choice. Right. How do you

2:08

not get in trouble though? Because I know you're

2:11

like childhood best friends and it's

2:13

just you talking. We tried not

2:15

to listen to the noise. No,

2:18

but also, yeah, definitely get messages from

2:20

people. Are you talking about me? I'm

2:23

not that loud. I'm like, shit. So

2:25

that's how we're dealing with that. But

2:27

we are kind of no filter and

2:29

it's very enjoyable. I don't

2:31

know. I personally, I feel like, and you

2:33

know, maybe you can relate, is

2:35

that I've done a lot of this stuff

2:37

on my own and it's really nice to

2:39

be able to do something with your best

2:41

friend because it gives you like the confidence

2:43

in the back. Yeah. She looks at me

2:45

and she's like, yeah, sure. You can say

2:47

that. Yeah. Thanks. I'll carry on. Do you

2:49

do that with mum? Do you get mum?

2:51

Can I say? Yeah, my mum is amazing.

2:53

She's definitely always looking out for me. So

2:56

it's not always like, go ahead, say that. It's

2:58

more like, I don't know if you just said

3:00

to say that, you know, protecting,

3:02

protecting. Yes, exactly. Right. This week's

3:05

theme is ghosts. So

3:07

we obviously are like spiritual

3:09

supernatural shit, but ghosting to

3:12

be ghosted, which is actually

3:14

quite a new term. Well,

3:17

I asked for notes on ghosting and it really is quite new.

3:20

It came in with dating apps. Yeah,

3:23

I guess so. That's when ghosting sort of became

3:25

because people would talk to someone

3:27

within that realm and then they would

3:29

disappear. I think of

3:31

ghosting more on, I feel like

3:33

WhatsApp crystallized it with the blue

3:36

tick because that's what I

3:39

think cuts when you see that. Because even if it's

3:41

my cousin that I trust, if I see that she's

3:43

red and has a little battery, I'm like, oh, what

3:45

did I do to fuck her off? And I'm like,

3:47

it's just that blue tick. It represents so much. Don't

3:49

you feel, um, I think

3:52

I might be a bit of a ghost. Oh,

3:54

it's actually just my ADHD. Like I

3:56

read something if

3:59

I'm not like immediately. like captivates an interested

4:01

or doesn't demand a response and I'm like

4:03

I'll do that later obviously forget yeah no

4:05

is that you like that as well yeah

4:07

I have let's see oh my god you

4:09

just know that this

4:12

is not a bit so you two could be

4:14

close as a needy person no we couldn't because

4:16

we won't respond this is how many I have

4:18

I have you have 1993 texts that I haven't read does it not give you

4:25

anxiety the number no I gave that up

4:28

it used to okay it used to it's

4:30

really tough because I also like I

4:33

want to respond I want it I want to

4:35

do whatever somebody is saying

4:37

or asking of me and I just don't I see

4:39

it or I don't even sometimes I

4:41

don't even see it but sometimes I see it and

4:43

I'm like hold on let me do this thing for and

4:45

then I just never yeah do it always forget yeah something

4:48

like some Seb calls me onto the I do

4:51

the next I do kind of ghost people I

4:53

don't ghost my children though they text me often

4:55

and I get right back to them I would

4:57

have been fucking making me no

4:59

but it's like you know they're the only people that

5:01

I'm like respond respond now I have to make mental

5:03

note all right but then I will text you and

5:05

go why are you ignoring me you're like did I

5:09

yeah anyway should we have a question yeah

5:11

let's see uh what kind of bitches you

5:13

are you these kind of bitches or you

5:15

like me just needs more first

5:17

question for this son bitch hi this is

5:20

Helen Souter here up in Edinburgh could

5:22

you actually explain to this old lady

5:25

what is ghosting is it not

5:27

just ignoring somebody what is good Helen you've

5:29

come to the right safe circle correct is

5:31

it tell me about what it means in

5:33

America and in your life well if I

5:36

had to explain it to someone that doesn't

5:38

know uh ghosting is when

5:41

usually on the phone not

5:44

always but it started with the phone when

5:46

you're talking to someone and you're you

5:49

have some sort of back and forth with someone and then

5:51

you just completely disappear and

5:53

you ghost them you

5:56

become a ghost and you're gone this is

5:58

so fun here you describe the Like,

6:00

I'm obsessed with ghosting, like, just

6:02

how much of a kind of

6:04

new phenomena it is, but it's

6:06

based in such old things, which

6:09

is rejection and

6:11

confrontation and cowardice and

6:13

fear. Oh, God. Do you

6:15

remember the rapper, the hip replacement rapper?

6:18

Yeah. So I was like, he

6:21

didn't ghost you. No, this is

6:23

the thing. I was really in

6:25

quite a messy period of my

6:27

life and I was quite into

6:29

this guy and, you know,

6:32

we had a sort of like back and forth and

6:34

then it just stopped. And then a few weeks later,

6:36

I said to a mutual friend of ours, I was

6:38

like, oh, can you tell so and so to stop

6:40

ghosting me? And they

6:42

got back to me and they were like, he says he's been trying

6:45

to get hold of you for ages. So I

6:47

must have like drunk one night, blocked his number.

6:50

That's a good one. I've

6:53

been like, why is this bitch not going back to me?

6:56

Yeah. Because you blocked all pathways.

6:59

That's a good trick. Self

7:01

ghosting. Self ghosting. Never heard

7:03

of it before. Incredible. Have you ever

7:05

been ghosted? Yes. I was

7:07

in romantically trying to, because also on my notes it

7:09

said it has to be ghosting is only in a

7:12

romantic setting. Although I think people ghost friends now. Oh,

7:14

no way. No way. I've been ghosted

7:16

for sure. I had a crazy ghosting happen

7:19

actually this December. It

7:21

was insane. It was the craziest one. It's probably

7:23

the craziest one that's ever happened to me. It

7:26

was so I was like, did you die?

7:29

Did you literally die? It was like

7:31

somebody that I'd also known for years

7:35

and had a

7:37

plan day of on

7:40

the phone, making a plan. This is my

7:42

address. Be there at three. Never

7:45

heard from him again. Ever.

7:48

Never heard. It was literally it was I

7:50

couldn't believe it. I was like, what

7:52

a fucking little pathetic man. What

7:55

a tiny little man. Like

7:58

also. And then I went in. I was in

8:00

shock. No, it was literally unbelievable.

8:03

To this day, never texted me

8:05

again. Somebody I had known for

8:07

like years. I want to

8:10

know why. I did

8:12

see that he was dating someone. OK. Oh,

8:14

OK. And then I was

8:16

like, oh. But I didn't know people still did

8:18

that. No, I know. Quite. I genuinely didn't know

8:21

people did that. Is this real? Quick one for

8:23

everyone and everyone in the house. Billy's

8:25

team, you might need this. When

8:28

someone shows you who they are, believe

8:31

them the first time. Yeah.

8:35

Don't make them show you again. I don't know. I

8:37

feel like I've done some really mean, nasty things and

8:39

I've changed. Shit.

8:42

Oh, really? Yeah. I'm

8:44

going to fuck up my theory. That's been some growth.

8:46

Yes. OK, OK. When someone

8:48

shows you who they are, believe them the first

8:50

time. Unless... It's me. I'm some

8:52

less, really. No,

8:55

but unless you can see any signs of growth, which

8:57

is rare. I know it's true. But also, there's like

8:59

a quote my mom always says. It's something like, you

9:02

know, when someone like friend dumps you or

9:04

like makes a big dramatic like, fuck

9:07

you. I'm going to leave. You know, they are

9:09

they almost always are doing you a favor by

9:12

doing that. Oh, yeah. That's what I've learned. Say thank

9:14

you. I know. I think what's difficult, you might have

9:16

experienced this with the person that did this to you

9:18

last Christmas. But I think what's difficult is to

9:21

be left with everything. So

9:24

when someone says nothing and disappears, you

9:26

are left with all the questions. Yeah.

9:28

And that is a very hard thing

9:30

to just brush off because there are

9:32

no answers. There is just silence. I

9:35

really hate cowards. That's my thing.

9:37

That's my thing. I any

9:39

time. And when I smell somebody

9:43

being cowardly, it just makes

9:45

me so furious. And

9:47

the problem is that sometimes that's what

9:49

ghosting is, is just cowardly. Yeah. Yeah.

9:52

You know, it's just like being afraid. Of like

9:55

saying how you are saying something, you

9:57

know, but to not spare the person

9:59

of. waiting is, that

10:02

would be the intent where the intent

10:04

lies. Because when I was

10:06

ghosted, I believe that the fact that

10:08

I was left with everything and was

10:10

waiting in some ways, that

10:13

didn't bother them. So I think that takes

10:15

a certain type of person. If it sits with you, and

10:18

you don't wanna put someone through that, always

10:20

just say, bruv, I'm not feeling this.

10:23

But sometimes it's

10:25

important to ghost others. They

10:28

don't deserve your breath anymore, all your time.

10:31

Sometimes you just gotta ghost people. That's right,

10:33

some bitches got me gummy. Sometimes it's mean.

10:35

I've ghosted people and it's a little mean.

10:37

Yeah, but you probably felt that because you're

10:39

not actually an asshole. Do you

10:41

know what I mean? It's like, whoever goes, someone goes,

10:43

oh, whatever, like, they're made of stuff. That's true, that's

10:45

true. You felt it because it's deep. And I've ghosted

10:48

people that like, I know it hurt them, but I'm

10:50

kinda just like, I don't wanna talk

10:52

to you. I don't wanna talk to you. I don't

10:54

wanna talk to you. I sometimes ghost my personal

10:56

trainer and my therapist. See,

10:58

yes, it happens, right. Question,

11:01

please. Mine's

11:04

a ghost story. Been living

11:06

in my house now for 20

11:08

years, bought

11:11

it off of a

11:13

family member that passed away. And

11:16

in the first month

11:18

of living in the house, I

11:21

was home alone in

11:23

the bathroom brushing my teeth. When

11:26

I felt a tap on

11:28

my shoulder and someone say, mommy,

11:32

yeah, shit my pants. Don't

11:35

really know what to make of that. Never happened since,

11:37

interesting. What are we supposed

11:40

to do with that? Yeah, there's no question, it's

11:42

just a story. What is this? It's just a

11:44

story time. Have you ever had a, what's it

11:46

called? A night terror. I mean, yes. No,

11:49

no, no, no, no, like every Thursday night, we're here.

11:52

No, no, no, no. A night

11:54

terror is different than a nightmare. Exactly. A

11:56

nightmare is like a bad dream, whereas a

11:58

night terror is when you're like. They

18:00

had a son who died who didn't

18:02

make it before Ethel was born, my

18:04

first oldest daughter. So when George died,

18:08

I was pregnant with Ethel three months later and

18:10

I always mourned the

18:13

fact that I'd never met him or got to know

18:15

him and got to know his personality. And

18:17

I did some trauma work with a

18:19

shaman quite recently and this

18:22

came up was that I was sort of

18:24

like mourning this non-existence of this character that

18:27

means so much to me, but there's nothing tangible to

18:29

hold on to. And he said

18:31

that, you know, Ethel, my

18:33

daughter, it wouldn't be physically possible for her

18:36

to have been here if he'd have gone

18:38

full term so that he sort of exists

18:40

within her oldest child. Oh, God, no. I've

18:43

never thought about that like that. That's

18:46

amazing. It did give me a lot of comfort. I'm

18:49

so glad. Damn.

18:52

Next question! Yeah, let's have another question. Next

18:55

question. Hey, Lily, hey, Makita. My

18:57

name's Michelle. I live in a small

19:00

village in a small town in Somerset.

19:03

I have a question about ghosts and

19:05

more so ghosts from your past. So

19:07

I'm nearly 40. I

19:09

work in a primary school. I'm

19:11

a teaching assistant. And, but prior

19:14

to this, 15, 20 years ago, I

19:17

was very sort of bar

19:19

heavy cocktail waitress, all that

19:21

kind of stuff for years. And

19:23

I sometimes think

19:26

about whenever there's a

19:28

new intake of children, is

19:30

there gonna be a dad? That is like,

19:32

oh, I know that woman.

19:34

She used to dance on the bar

19:36

and give up shots. And here she

19:39

is. She's gonna be a teaching assistant

19:41

for my child. So

19:43

do you ever think about that now from

19:45

your wilder days to what you're doing now,

19:48

your different circles like Lily with

19:50

parents, Makita, you know,

19:53

new job roles? Do you ever

19:55

bump into someone and think, oh, God, they've

19:57

got this, this image of me? Or

19:59

do you ever... and it's like, that

20:02

was then, this is now. Wow, good

20:04

question. I see a question,

20:06

does that affect us all differently because of our

20:08

different ages? Because with, I'm 40, Lily's 39, and

20:11

you're 23. 22,

20:14

so how much dirty part, are you still

20:17

making your dirty parts? Just a minute. I

20:20

kind of just be kidding. Just be kidding. Yeah.

20:23

It's fresh at the start. Yeah, I

20:25

kind of did just start, but I

20:28

do feel like anyone who

20:30

met or knew me in like 2018, I'm

20:34

a little bit like, a

20:36

little bit, but I also appreciate, I appreciate all

20:39

the different kinds of versions of

20:41

ourselves, you know what I mean? It's, you know,

20:43

it makes you who you are. What

20:46

do you guys, what's your worst ghost? Oh

20:49

God, I can't even, like. Of ourselves.

20:51

I have such a low sense of self worth

20:54

and shame around how promiscuous I was in my

20:56

twenties that if, you know, when you meet someone,

20:58

you're like, you know, when you meet someone and

21:00

you're like, I recognize that person, my brain immediately

21:02

goes, yeah, you probably slept with them. Yeah, probably.

21:06

Probably slept with them. Is that really true? Do you

21:08

really have like shame about the fact that like, we

21:10

had sex when we were young? You ever write it

21:12

down? Like you could write them all

21:14

down if you want. No, I couldn't. Ah,

21:16

whoa, whoa, whoa. Absolutely could not. You mean

21:18

the list. I've tried to kind of make

21:20

a mental list. I love a good list.

21:23

We did a reframe on the list, which

21:25

is, well, it's basically, you can't

21:27

change the past and you can't change anything.

21:30

God, fuck, even if he wants to. So

21:32

all those people do make up your

21:34

life or your sexual life. So to

21:36

write down the list rather than every

21:38

name be some shameful, embarrassing memory, it's

21:40

just that these are like just bits

21:43

that make up your history and your

21:45

memories, unfortunately for some. Okay,

21:47

we can do the list. Do you think you remember all

21:49

of them? Absolutely not. Because also, I've tried to like make

21:51

mental lists and then sometimes I'll just, I'll

21:54

just remember a night and I'll be like, oh,

21:56

I know. I know. I think that's tight. I

21:59

think that the shame. around that is so

22:02

unfair and stupid and I just don't believe

22:04

in it. Agreed. I think that I've lived

22:06

with that shell. I'm coming to a point

22:08

because I'm doing a lot of work myself.

22:11

I've been sober for five years. There's a

22:13

lot of forgiving of my behavior, stuff that

22:15

I used to carry around I'm letting

22:17

go of. So I do feel like

22:20

I'm getting better. But

22:22

what about being really famous? Is

22:25

there space to be messy? Like,

22:27

I mean, your Chinese are mine a bit

22:30

very well-documented and so is our mess. Yes.

22:32

And we can't, unfortunately, can't erase Google.

22:36

But what about evenly now? Like,

22:39

is there space to be messy or

22:41

naughty? Honestly, I gotta

22:43

be real. I think that becoming famous

22:45

at such a young

22:47

age almost protected me from

22:50

the messiness of

22:52

like past because

22:55

I became famous when I was like 13, 14, 15,

23:00

16, 17, which made it so that I kind of couldn't

23:02

really do insane messy

23:05

stuff, which then meant I didn't have much

23:07

of a teenage life.

23:09

But I don't think I'm messy. I think if you know how

23:12

to move through the world, I also

23:14

like I feel like getting famous young made

23:17

it so that I was able to like

23:19

understand how to move through the world and

23:21

like, right? Yeah, you're able to find my

23:23

ways of being messy within my life, but

23:25

not within like other people's lives or like

23:28

the world. I do. You

23:30

know, I have to reveal something. So last

23:32

night, I cried.

23:35

No way. Because

23:38

I was like, you know, I tend to ignore

23:40

stuff. And then I got an email about today

23:42

and the people that were coming with you and

23:44

you know, just things that were on your rider

23:47

or you know, just normal stuff. And

23:49

it just catapulted me back to a time

23:51

where you know, what you're saying is that

23:53

you felt protected within what it is that

23:55

you're doing where I felt completely the opposite.

23:57

So like the idea of like, A

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26:56

Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. With the

26:58

price of just about everything going up during

27:00

inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

27:03

So to help us, we brought in a reverse

27:06

auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint

27:08

Mobile unlimited, premium wireless. How did you get

27:10

30-30? How did you get 30-30? How

27:12

did you get 30-30? How did you get 30-40? You bet you get

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