Podchaser Logo
Home
S3 E3 - Witch Of The Woods

S3 E3 - Witch Of The Woods

Released Tuesday, 13th June 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
S3 E3 - Witch Of The Woods

S3 E3 - Witch Of The Woods

S3 E3 - Witch Of The Woods

S3 E3 - Witch Of The Woods

Tuesday, 13th June 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

0:00

This episode is brought to you by Progressive.

0:02

Most of you aren't just listening right now, you're

0:04

driving, cleaning, and even exercising.

0:07

But what if you could be saving money by switching to

0:09

Progressive? Drivers who save by switching

0:11

save nearly $700 on average, and auto customers qualify

0:15

for an average of seven discounts. Multitask

0:18

right now. Quote today at progressive.com.

0:21

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national

0:23

average 12 months savings of $698 by

0:25

new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2021

0:27

and May 2022. Potential savings

0:30

will vary discounts not available in all states and

0:32

situations.

0:33

Looking to get out of the ads and back to the

0:36

story? Fable and Folly Plus

0:38

is a new way to support the creators you love.

0:41

The podcast you're listening to right now and

0:43

more than 60 others can be heard ad free

0:45

for as little as $4 a month by visiting

0:48

fableandfolly.com slash plus.

0:50

And now you'll start to see Fable and

0:53

Folly Network shows are offering bonus

0:55

content to all existing and

0:57

new supporters. Find exclusive

1:00

new episodes from shows like Where

1:02

the Stars Fell, The Call of

1:03

Cthulhu Mystery Program, and Civilized.

1:07

Plus early access to new episodes

1:09

of Midnight Burger,

1:10

all still entirely ad

1:13

free. Mockery

1:15

Manor is free and always will be, but

1:17

it's not free to make. If you'd like to support

1:19

the show, you can become our patron

1:21

on Ko-fi. Go to ko-fi.com slash

1:25

longcatmedia to chat with us, unlock

1:28

bonus episodes, music albums, exclusive

1:30

merch, and more.

1:32

That's ko-fi.com

1:34

slash longcatmedia. Thank you.

1:37

Previously

1:39

on Mockery Manor, Parker asks

1:41

JJ about a mysterious letter she recently

1:44

received. Local reporter and DJ

1:46

Paul confronts Betty about her sister's

1:48

promotion to manager. And finally, country

1:51

star Clayton Woodrow performs a new

1:53

song at the big opening concert and

1:55

disaster strikes. That's you

1:58

all caught up. Y'all enjoy the episode. Now?

2:06

Longcat Media presents...

2:12

Mockery Manor Season 3

2:19

Episode 3 Witch

2:21

of the Woods March

2:25

20th Mountain Chch,

2:28

Chemuggets of the Woods Chch-chchche,

2:48

Chch-ch Grump kombour, L25 Chch-chche,

2:52

L25 My

2:59

name is Paul Baker and you're listening to GSPW

3:02

News at Nine. The internationally

3:04

renowned country star Clayton Bryan,

3:06

Bryan Woodrow the third, plunged

3:08

to his death last night in front of an audience

3:10

of thousands, including his wife, country

3:12

star Kirsteen Macfarlane and his manager

3:15

of 40 years, Bobby D McDaniel's.

3:17

At around 9 30 yesterday evening, the 82

3:20

year old singer-songwriter climbed to the summit

3:22

of the four Spurs Mine Train attraction

3:25

in the Claytonville Park area of Mockery

3:27

Manor. Witnesses describe Mr. Woodrow

3:29

stumbling over the mine train tracks and

3:32

into an animatronic goat before falling 45

3:34

feet onto the artificial rocks

3:36

below. An investigation is ongoing

3:39

and police are asking anyone with any information to

3:41

please.

3:43

JJ, you in there? I just

3:46

brewed a pot of coffee. Do you want some? I

3:48

made it for the Americans actually. Felt a bit

3:50

sorry for them. None of them went to bed last night. But

3:53

then that angry little man in the cowboy hat called it brown

3:55

piss and said he'd stick to whiskey. So do you

3:58

fancy a cup of freshly brewed brown? Piss JJ

4:04

JJ not

4:06

knock sleepyhead

4:09

doors open JJ oh

4:11

my god

4:13

what the hell happened here

4:16

no no no no is that

4:18

you what's the matter Parker

4:21

get in here JJ's room has been

4:23

ransacked oh my god what the

4:25

hell hang on it's

4:28

just a bit messy in it it's more than messy

4:30

the drawers are all pulled out and there's clothes

4:33

everywhere yeah windows are wide

4:35

open this ain't much different to normal

4:37

it always looks like this don't be silly does

4:40

it are you sure yeah bloody

4:43

hell she never lets me in here and I can see why

4:45

now what a mess how come

4:47

you know what her bedroom looks like she's been late for

4:50

work a few times the last couple of weeks had to come

4:52

and get her doesn't sound like JJ she's

4:54

a lot of things but she's not tardy she told me she

4:56

hasn't been sleeping very well so she's taking these pills

4:58

that knock her out makes her sleep through the alarm

5:01

she's on medication I didn't know that I

5:03

should go find her police are asking where she

5:05

is certainly give a statement oh do they want

5:07

a statement from me too I shouldn't think

5:09

so come on let's get out of here

5:12

after you all right if you

5:14

see JJ before I do tell her to go to the drawing

5:16

room yeah that's where the police are doing interviews

5:18

well if anyone needs me I'll be in my office

5:21

all the dark room I do need to develop that feeling all

5:23

right on a job at the moment then of course very

5:26

big case actually very big gonna put

5:28

you on the map is it well I'm pretty established

5:30

on the map already so oh yeah I

5:32

bet forging quite a reputation actually

5:35

well done thanks maybe

5:37

you should offer your services to the coppers you

5:39

could open with the Clayton investigation oh

5:42

yes do you think they'd let me yeah

5:44

yeah yeah I'm sure Scotland y'all will be banging on

5:46

your door any second it's

5:48

not that unlikely I could provide

5:50

valuable insight all right cute Poirot

5:53

you'll have to grow your moustache out

9:41

If

10:00

you'd been there, I might have lost more than the barn.

10:05

Come here, you big galar. Kiss me. How could you fall?

10:08

Look at the time. The Bogan

10:10

Beach Bar fundraiser's starting soon. We need to pick up the donkeys. I'm

10:14

not going, Logan. I'm

10:16

sorry. There's something important

10:18

I need to do. What are you up to, you naughty

10:20

girl? What's more important than the fundraiser?

10:23

Logan, please. Just go without

10:24

me. Just

10:28

go. Hurries. I

10:31

don't know why Logan puts up with it. Hello? Huh?

10:35

Betty Armstrong? Shit!

10:37

One moment, please.

10:38

I'm not decent. Oh,

10:40

God, I'm covered in crisps. So messy

10:43

in here. Jesus. Come

10:46

in. Do you have a moment?

10:49

Oh, Mrs Woodrow. I mean, Macfarlane? That's

10:52

your stage name, isn't it? Or is it Ms Macfarlane?

10:55

Or is it Ms Woodrow when you're off stage? Just call

10:57

me Kirsteen. Have

10:59

I interrupted anything? Oh,

11:02

no. No, no, no, nothing at all. You are

11:04

open for business? You mean private

11:06

investigation business? Yes.

11:08

Yes, yes, please. Take a seat. Thank

11:10

you. Have

11:12

a salted peanut. Or a pretzel. I

11:15

put them out for clients. Like at a bar? No.

11:18

No, thank you. What can I do for you?

11:20

I figured there's a PI

11:22

in the building. I should probably take advantage.

11:25

Unless you're fully booked.

11:27

I think I might be able to squeeze you in. Do

11:30

you mind if I smoke? Oh, please.

11:32

Go ahead. You've

11:37

probably guessed why I'm here. Clayton?

11:41

Clayton. Yes. I

11:44

was so sorry to hear about that. I

11:46

mean, I didn't hear about it, of course. I actually saw it happen.

11:49

Although I did hear the sound he made when he...

11:52

Anyway, yes, sorry. It's all very

11:55

tragic. You must be very upset. Oh, God. You are

11:57

really bad at this. Sorry. Maybe

11:59

you...

11:59

you should try the silent, brooding

12:02

detective thing. Ha! Good idea.

12:04

Not sure that's who I am, sadly. Less of a brooder,

12:07

more of a thinker out louder. And

12:09

I think what happened to your husband last night, it sort of

12:11

unnerved me. You

12:14

think I'd be accustomed to it by now, considering how much violent

12:16

death I've been involved in, but here

12:18

I am babbling like an idiot. Violent death,

12:21

huh?

12:22

So you've handled big cases before.

12:24

Oh, um, yes.

12:27

Good. For a second I thought you might

12:29

be small fry. You know, finding

12:31

lost pets, taking photos of cheating

12:33

husbands, that kind of thing. No,

12:35

not at all. Ha ha ha. Great.

12:39

Although, just so I know I'm

12:41

not misunderstanding the situation, aren't

12:43

the police investigating what happened to your husband? Of

12:45

course they are. So why do you

12:47

need a private investigator? Because the cops

12:49

are idiots. Have you seen them? The

12:51

guy who took my statement, what an asshole.

12:54

And so young? He looked about 24, tops.

12:58

How old are you? Oh, much older than that.

13:02

26, next birthday. Jesus.

13:05

Girls mature faster than boys. I'm basically 40.

13:08

Sure. Well, anyway, this

13:10

cop,

13:11

he'd made up his mind about Clay before

13:13

I even got in the room. First thing he

13:15

said to me, has your husband seemed distracted

13:18

recently, Mrs. Woodrow? Has he had any

13:20

memory lapses?

13:22

Well, I was so taken aback, I said, sure,

13:24

sometimes. But who doesn't

13:27

forget where they put their glasses every now and then? And

13:30

then,

13:31

why did I do this?

13:33

I told them Clay's heart medication

13:36

affects his memory.

13:38

Well, that little asshole, he grabbed ahold

13:40

of that like a puppy on a shitty rag, making

13:42

out Clayton was old and confused.

13:45

Yes, he's old, but you saw him last

13:48

night. You were in the audience and he

13:50

was,

13:51

wasn't it just? How

13:55

did he seem to you? Fine,

13:58

relaxed, chatty. Maybe

14:01

a little melancholy at times, but certainly

14:03

not like he was about to,

14:05

you know, climb a goddamn roller coaster

14:07

in the dark and pitch over the side. That's what

14:09

I said. I told them it didn't

14:11

make sense. That something must

14:13

have happened in that ten minutes when the lights went

14:15

out. Maybe someone was chasing

14:17

him, or I don't know. If

14:20

he was confused, then someone

14:22

struck him on the head. But the cops

14:24

told me there was no way to check if that was true

14:26

or not because of the way...

14:29

The way Clay hit the ground... Goddamn

14:33

it! Tissue? I

14:36

mean Kleenex? Thank you. They're

14:40

gonna declare him senile, and that'll

14:43

be the end of that. And

14:45

I can't bear it. And you

14:47

want me to find out what really happened? Honey,

14:50

you don't have to solve the whole damn case. You

14:53

just need to find something. Anything

14:55

that says Clay didn't go up that roller

14:57

coaster willingly. And then Scotland

15:00

Yard or whoever can take it from there.

15:03

So you really think this might be murder?

15:07

Just find me something that means I can get

15:09

a real detective involved.

15:12

No offense. Before

15:29

we continue the episode, a quick diversion.

15:32

Greetings, fans of the Esotenic. It

15:34

is Magenta and Bernard from the other Long

15:36

Cat podcast, Madame Magenta's Sonus Mystica. Welcome

15:39

to the most thrilling promotional activity

15:42

I have ever been involved in. We can't

15:44

have favourites, my dear. Oh, come on. This one sent us

15:46

a cocktail box for free directly to our door. I

15:49

mean, that was very special, yes, yes. So

15:51

thank you to Shaker and Spoon for sponsoring this

15:53

episode. And for the best day of my

15:55

life. Twenty dollars off for the listeners at

15:57

home with the code Mockery Manor. So go to Shaker and Spoon. ShakerandSpoon.com

16:01

forward slash mockery manner. I must say Bernard,

16:03

when that parcel arrived and I slowly peeled

16:05

back the layers to reveal oh ho ho ho,

16:08

syrups, bitters, mixers,

16:10

garnishes. I've never been more

16:12

shaken. My emotions never more stirred.

16:15

Oh, that's very good. I see what you did there. Don't

16:17

ruin the mood with talk of puns Bernard. Let

16:19

us talk of Shaker and Spoon and their magnificent

16:22

cocktail box. Oh yes! Shaker and

16:24

Spoon is a monthly cocktail subscription

16:26

box that delivers the craft of cocktail making

16:28

to your home. Each box is extremely

16:30

fancy, a real ocular treat, and it

16:32

contains three original recipes created

16:35

by world class bartenders as well as enough

16:37

ingredients for 12 cocktails.

16:38

We had the Fall for Ms. Cal box,

16:40

didn't we Bernard? Yes. Based around

16:43

the national spirit of Mexico. Honestly, it was like being

16:45

on holiday, but better because I wasn't digging

16:47

sand out of my crack. Or mine. They

16:50

don't send the booze, but you could upcycle your own

16:52

homemade hooch with these boxes, couldn't you Bernard? I

16:54

could, yes, it's a good idea. Although it

16:56

is probably best to stick to the suggestion in the recipes.

16:58

Do you think they'll sponsor us again Bernard? I do hope

17:00

so. Well, if not, we could just subscribe.

17:03

And get one every month? Yes! Actually,

17:05

I'll pretend you haven't said that and you're giving it to me as a

17:08

gift. Oh, marvellous idea.

17:09

So, be like Bernard, that's me,

17:11

and throw your honey a cock- That's me! Yes,

17:14

and throw your honey a cocktail party by

17:16

simply visiting shakerandspoon.com

17:18

and putting slash mockery manor at the end

17:21

to get $20 off any length subscription.

17:23

The discount will be automatically applied.

17:25

Oh! Ho

17:26

ho ho!

17:29

The Fable & Folly Network is proud to support

17:31

Inevitable Foundation, a non-profit

17:34

committed to breaking down barriers, keeping disabled

17:36

creators from reaching their full commercial

17:38

and creative potential. Inevitable Foundation

17:41

recently launched Elevate for Podcasters,

17:44

the first program ever created to amplify

17:46

the voices and advance the careers of disabled

17:48

podcasters. With support from Spotify,

17:51

the program empowers disabled podcasters

17:53

with $10,000 grants, which can

17:55

be used for professional development, equipment,

17:58

living expenses,

17:58

accommodation,

17:59

marketing, and IP acquisition,

18:02

as well as mentorship and community building

18:04

opportunities. Apply to Elevate

18:07

for Podcasters today at inevitable.foundation.podcasters.

18:12

Again that's inevitable.foundation.podcasters.

18:15

Hi, this

18:18

is Josh, creative lead at Hope Lab. Thank

18:20

you for listening. At Hope Lab,

18:23

we advance solutions that support, affirm,

18:25

and empower young people, and we just launched

18:27

a product called IME, a free digital

18:29

tool that supports and helps LGBTQ

18:31

plus teens explore and affirm their identity

18:34

and learn helpful ways to cope with stress. You

18:37

can find it at www.imi.guide.

18:41

From the hundreds of queer

18:43

young people who helped create IME, we

18:45

know that many young people desire a world that is more

18:48

accepting, inclusive, and just. IME

18:50

helps provide a space for queer teens, especially

18:53

those with intersectional identities, to feel supported

18:55

and affirmed. As Renee, a 15-year-old

18:58

from Mississippi, told us, IME is for

19:00

queer people, by queer people, to help

19:02

everyone. Visit www.imi.guide

19:07

or share the link with someone you know. And follow

19:10

at IMEGuide on Instagram for supportive,

19:12

fun, and queer IME-related content.

19:15

Thanks for listening. A message from

19:17

the Fable and Folly Network. Well,

19:20

I have important information you need to

19:22

know. My lover is dead.

19:25

You understand your upset, my brother? God damn it, why does no one listen to me? Is

19:27

it because of these? Is it because of these? Whoa! All

19:30

right, that's enough. You're not coming in the manner

19:32

and that's that. Why aren't you listening

19:35

to me? I need to tell them what

19:37

I know. Look, love, we've had a lot of Clayton

19:39

fans trying to help the police.

19:40

We don't need any more brilliant tip-offs about

19:42

how his manager's ripping him off or his wife is

19:45

cheating on him, all right? But his wife was

19:47

cheating on him. And I'm not just

19:49

a

19:49

fan, we're in love. Oh, yeah,

19:52

having a torrid affair with him, were you? Yes,

19:54

I was. Oh, clear off, love. Stop wasting

19:56

valuable police. Aye. You're just going

19:58

to ignore me.

21:59

Yeah, I see, yeah. Erm, like

22:02

you are. Go on then, don't just stand there dithering!

22:04

Yes sir, yes sir. Erm,

22:06

bites madam, you need to come with me. Finally,

22:08

thank you. And thank you, detective.

22:11

You're welcome, Abilene. Like, sure you tell

22:13

them everything? Oh, I will. Alright,

22:16

come on then, you. And no funny business. Absolute

22:21

embarrassment. Bloody useless. Moron.

22:26

Didn't even ask them, I idea. I

22:28

could be anyone. Yes,

22:31

embarrassing. What's

22:33

this bloody country coming to, eh?

22:37

Now then, which way, which way?

22:41

Not the corridor with the ram's head. Or

22:44

the one with the clock. Have

22:51

they found that woman yet? I don't know, Mr. D. But

22:54

I'm going to have to ask you to calm down. We are

22:56

even thinking about telling me to calm down.

22:59

Now this friend is dead. And

23:01

a little gift of gift. Ah ha,

23:04

here we are. Clayton's

23:06

Boudoir.

23:08

Oh yeah,

23:11

a few bits of tape across the door. That'll stop

23:13

me, Andrew. Oh, tape. Whatever

23:16

am I to do? Call

23:18

this a lock. Embarrassing.

23:27

Couldn't keep a one-legged kitten

23:29

out. Now then, where,

23:32

where, where? Let me

23:34

see. Chest of drawl.

23:38

Bedside table.

23:41

The curtains. Well

23:43

now, what do we have here? A

23:46

pair of pink trainers, size five,

23:49

with a couple of ankles attached. Ah ha!

23:52

It's not what it looks like. I'm housekeeping.

23:55

Housekeeping in a dead man's room. What does that involve?

23:58

Polishing fingerprints off surfaces?

25:56

But

26:00

I haven't even touched anything! Not much,

26:02

anyway. Please don't arrest me! Shh! What's

26:05

that? Someone's coming! Hide!

26:08

Hide! Back on the curtain! Hold on! Get

26:10

out! Okay, okay! Move

26:13

over!

26:30

There you go. Wow! Ha ha! Woo!

26:32

They didn't know we were here, did they? What

26:34

did they want? What were they doing? Who was

26:36

it? I don't know. I couldn't see! Oh

26:39

bugger, I didn't see either! I had a face full of

26:41

curtain! Damn it! Oh, you're so annoying! Damn

26:43

it! What do you think they wanted? They were really

26:45

quick. They must have come in here to fetch something very specific.

26:48

Hmm, I heard a ping. Did

26:49

you hear a ping? Metal? Glass? Portalant?

26:52

Ms Armstrong? And did you hear they had

26:55

a key? But when they tried to find

26:56

it, they were not. I'm sorry. And did

26:58

you hear they had a key? But when they tried to use it,

27:00

it sounded funny. Why? Oh

27:03

my god, look! The door handle's hanging

27:05

off! It wasn't like that when I came in. Did you

27:08

break it? Oh, you did! That's what

27:10

that thump was!

27:11

It's an old handle! Old things break!

27:14

You forced your way in! Now look here, I

27:16

do not have to explain myself, certainly,

27:18

not to you. Hang on.

27:19

Why did you want to hide from them? Well...

27:22

You hid? Why? L'Avio, your mind jumps

27:24

around like a flea on a trampoline. Tell me why you

27:26

hid. Why do you think? To see

27:28

who it was and what they were planning to do?

27:31

Hmm. Was it pose? Oh,

27:33

you suppose, do you? Well, it didn't

27:35

work, did it? You didn't see who it was or what

27:37

they were doing? I am aware of that. Maybe

27:39

if you'd budged up, I could have looked through the crack

27:42

in the curtains. So you should have sprung out and arrested

27:44

them! Or at least sprung out and asked them what they were doing.

27:46

As it is, neither of us know anything. Thank

27:48

you for the helpful pointers, Ms Armstrong.

27:51

I shall pass your wisdom onto the training academy

27:53

and make sure the next generation of coppers are properly

27:56

educated.

27:56

Wait! Wait! Where are you

27:58

going? Wait! Are you... are

28:01

you going to get me into trouble? What a good

28:03

question. All right, how

28:06

about this? I won't tell anyone

28:08

you were here...

28:09

Oh, thank you. ...if you

28:11

stop investigating Clayton's murder.

28:15

I can't do that. I've been hired to do a job.

28:18

So quit. But I... I don't want

28:20

to. This might

28:22

come as a surprise to you, Ms Armstrong, but

28:25

this isn't about what you want. This

28:27

is about justice. So stop

28:29

playing at coppers and go back to whatever

28:32

it is you usually do. Picking your nose,

28:34

watching Australian soaps before

28:37

you get hurt.

28:47

Silly man. Right

28:50

then. What in this room

28:52

goes Ping?

29:02

Shh, Dennis. It's all right.

29:05

The fire's not going to spread. I

29:10

was in the brownies, you know. When

29:13

I first joined, we learned how to make scones

29:15

and hoover the carpet. But then we got

29:17

brown now. We was really into wilderness survival.

29:21

Taught us how to navigate by the stars. How

29:23

to gut an animal. How to build a fire

29:26

pit. Bet

29:28

you and me, we were really good at it. It was great,

29:30

actually. Till one of the parents found

29:32

out from the bloodstains on their daughter's tunic that we'd

29:34

been skinning squirrels. And that was the end of that.

29:40

Maybe I should live in the woods with you, Dennis. What

29:43

do you think? You've

29:45

eaten all the melon. I haven't got any more. And

29:48

Margo said too much is bad for you

29:50

anyway. Greedy guts.

29:52

Stop

29:55

it. Stop eating my hair. Go

29:57

on. Go back to the others, you big goo. Flippin'

30:01

it! Ah! Walter! It's

30:04

a flippin' elephant! Oh my god! Go away!

30:06

Go away! There's a wild elephant in the mockery woods!

30:08

The rumors are true! Haha!

30:10

I knew it! I'm

30:13

scared of you idiots! Why

30:15

do you have to shout? Where's it going? We should

30:17

follow it! No! Leave Dennis alone! Dennis?

30:20

The elephant's called Denny. Walter, if you

30:22

tell anyone about this, I swear I'll kill

30:24

you. Do you hear me? They're very happy here.

30:27

Don't ruin it. They're very happy. Is

30:29

there more than one? No! There is!

30:31

I knew it! I hear them sometimes when

30:33

we're camping in the woods. You're wrong. There's

30:35

just one. I'm not. I've seen the signs.

30:37

Massive piles of poo, bark stripped from the trees.

30:40

I told the group they were the marks of the woodland witch.

30:43

They loved that. Would they prefer

30:45

to know it's elephants? Or maybe they'd like

30:46

to- Ow! The group! You brought people here!

30:50

Get out of my arm! You're not alone! Is

30:52

that what you're saying? Maniac? There's five

30:55

of us. We've been camping since Wednesday.

30:58

Where are they? Are they close? No, they're back at the

31:00

cottage. Camping by the pond. So

31:02

what are you doing here? Well,

31:04

we all heard this noise, see? A

31:06

kind of trumpeting sound. I

31:08

was the only one brave enough to come look.

31:12

Oh

31:12

dear. What am I going to tell them? Oh,

31:14

just tell them it was a car horn. Or a truck.

31:17

One of the mockery trucks. You're quick with

31:19

the lies. Had plenty of practice. Are

31:21

you taking them all high ground, Walter? The

31:23

boy who brings people into the woods to stare at an old crime scene.

31:26

Take the front of his neck to a blood stain. It's

31:28

ghoulish. Disgusting. It's not

31:30

disgusting. It's just

31:33

natural human curiosity. It's titillation. Oh

31:35

yeah, definitely. Who

31:38

doesn't feel more alive in the shadow of death? Oh,

31:40

you have no idea what you're talking about. Oh,

31:42

I've had an idea. You should come and give a

31:44

talk to the group about Graham. And that

31:47

poor country singer who just

31:49

died. Do you know anything about that? Okay,

31:51

you know what? This is private property, Walter.

31:54

I can get you arrested for trespassing.

31:55

And I could get you arrested for keeping

31:57

a herd of elephants in the mockery woods. Can't

32:00

imagine that's legal. Oh

32:04

dear! Looks like we're at

32:06

an impasse. A what?

32:09

An impasse. An

32:12

impasse. Whatever! Looks

32:14

like we both need to keep our mouths shut.

32:15

Well, I won't

32:18

say anything if you don't. Fine.

32:24

Trouble is, if one of my group spots

32:26

an elephant while we're camping, there's not

32:29

much I can do about it. The herd doesn't go near the

32:31

cottage. Just don't take anyone deep into the

32:33

woods, alright? And if you do, I'll

32:35

know. Oh yeah? The

32:37

woods have eyes.

32:38

Maybe you're the woodland

32:41

witch. Maybe I am. Don't

32:44

cross me, Walter. Wouldn't

32:46

dream of it. Full of secrets,

32:49

aren't you, JJ? Maybe

32:51

that's why everybody prefers your

32:52

sister. She doesn't have

32:54

your darkness. No.

32:57

I don't think she does. Oh!

33:01

Oh! That vise

33:03

a bit smoky. What are you burning? Toasting marshmallows.

33:06

Ah. That marshmallow looks

33:08

a lot like a hooded sweatshirt to me. Go away,

33:10

Walter. Gladly.

33:13

You're giving me the creeps. Bye-bye,

33:18

witch of the woods.

33:28

Mockery Manor is written by Lindsay Sharman

33:31

and directed by Lindsay Sharman and Lawrence Owen. Music,

33:34

sound design and editing by Lawrence Owen. Hayley

33:37

Evanett was Betty and JJ. Lawrence Owen

33:39

was Parker, Paul, The Constable and

33:41

Bogan Bay Logan. Christina Bianco

33:43

was Kirsteen. John Henry Fall was Detective

33:45

Fenwick and Bobby Dee. Christy Bolton was Abilene Doketty.

33:48

Lindsay Sharman was Henriksen

33:50

and Bogan Bay Jen. Mark Ristucher was

33:52

Detective Steve. And James Dukker was

33:54

Walter. Mockery Manor is supported by Arts

33:56

Council England, National Lottery Project Grants

33:58

and our wonderful...

33:59

patrons on Ko-fi. If you'd like to become

34:02

one of them and help me and Lindsay keep making podcasts,

34:05

tap the link in the show notes of this episode or

34:07

go to longcatmedia.com.

34:24

The Fable and Falling Network,

34:26

where fiction producers flourish.

34:30

The first thing you need to know about the Vegas

34:32

Sci-Fi Adventure podcast is that

34:34

you're not just listening to someone tell

34:36

you a story. You are

34:38

stepping into a world. And

34:41

Vega Rex, the woman at the

34:43

center of this saga, is currently

34:45

sitting at the top of it. This

34:48

is not by accident. For millennia,

34:50

the country Vega calls home has been carefully

34:52

honing the skills of its state consciousness.

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features