0:01

Hey, what's going on? As Bill burst

0:03

time for the Monday morning podcast from

0:05

Monday. Fuck.

0:07

In April Fifteenth, Two Thousand

0:09

And Twenty four, What's going

0:12

on? Our. Warrior,

0:15

you do a good the you like

0:17

me trying to control your temper right

0:19

now. Job in doing

0:21

really good at really well. At

0:23

and on which I yelled how you said. You

0:26

can't find my microphone that I usually

0:28

use of the podcast doesn't sound is

0:30

good. I was able to handle that.

0:36

I go out to my fuckin garage

0:38

and I'm like, you know what I'm

0:40

going to do? My podcast The Red

0:43

Sox have the Patriots Day game on.

0:45

I swear my favorite fucking games of

0:47

the year can sit out here in

0:49

my garage/office/place that I can cry in

0:51

private and I go to put the

0:53

fucking game on in the signal doesn't

0:55

work and I just the just literally

0:57

lost my shit. It's just like this

0:59

fucking thing. I swear to God it's

1:01

like a government government experiment. I pissed

1:03

off someone in the government was some

1:05

fucking bit. I did. About them

1:08

sucking the dick. So the Illuminati and how

1:10

they're getting me back? Is it like you

1:12

know, what an audit. You know that

1:14

seems a. Little Two thousand Fuck and

1:16

thirteen. I got it. Lets every time

1:18

he wants to go into his fucking

1:20

office and have a little solitude, watch

1:23

a fucking game, the signal doesn't work.

1:25

Second, I put it on. And

1:29

as a stupid thing that comes up

1:32

to troubleshoot in here okay and it

1:34

gives you no information whatsoever. Fucking

1:38

ridiculous man. I love the fuck and

1:41

Patriots Day game comes on at like

1:43

eight in the morning out here. We.

1:46

Can up He got a fucking ball

1:48

game on bacon and eggs in a

1:50

cup of coffee. Jesus Christ. What?

1:53

More could you want? World.

1:56

Peace. You.

1:59

Know the. The Leaders of the world,

2:01

the thought drama dropping bombs on people's

2:03

grandmothers and children. Are

2:08

just really fucking blows my mind. Like

2:10

the limitations you have is far as

2:12

like what you can do and say

2:14

on in l on social media but

2:16

more is still legal. Position

2:23

got cancelled. Not that.

2:25

Led speak so the power of a fucking

2:28

speaking truth. The middle laughs and says far

2:30

I up as you went. On

2:34

any way. To.

2:36

Describe club when what have been observed, you

2:39

know what? See going to take stock in

2:41

your life. My fucking life is awesome because

2:43

you guys listen to me and you come

2:45

out to my shows and you know I

2:47

get to. I get

2:50

to live my dream so my really going to

2:52

get upset. Just be why. Why want to get

2:54

upset Just because. Seats: Nine Hundred Thirty Seven fucking

2:56

time and a row. There was a good god

2:58

damn game out there and I had a little

3:00

fuck and window and I was sick. Cannot be

3:02

great. I watched the game or comment on the

3:05

game. People like when I do that when I

3:07

do the podcasts it'll be fuck uneasy Pc to

3:09

start my fucking day. Arm

3:11

and semi some. He bought a

3:13

book, That. They read

3:16

were like anger Really fascinated me.

3:19

I'm it's kind of the same thing

3:21

like addiction like when you're addicted to

3:23

something like the know. Third, third, If

3:26

you just start viewing the. The.

3:30

On when we were the it's the craving. Teaches

3:34

you would have viewed as a wave hitting

3:36

the beach. wait his The beach goes up

3:38

the beach and then it receives back in.

3:42

The. While later another wave that the devil you

3:44

know, I don't like to think that like

3:46

that because to go to the ocean that

3:48

never fucking stops. It's.

3:53

probably a bad analogy but it's just

3:55

you it is one ways and then

3:57

it goes away and you deserve I'm

4:00

trying to like, somebody

4:03

was recommending this book about anger, that's how

4:05

fucking, you know, how

4:08

nuts I am. And

4:11

it also bothers me that people think I'm still

4:13

like, they think I'm as fucking nuts as

4:16

my act. I would even say my act was.

4:22

I am that nuts, but in

4:24

spurts. The rest of the time, I'm just

4:26

fucking regular. You think I'm walking around like

4:28

fucking screaming at an umpire all day long,

4:30

I'm not. But someone was telling

4:33

me about this, this book about anger that you

4:35

kind of view it that way, like you just

4:37

sort of, okay, I'm feeling angry. I

4:40

think if I literally said that when I was getting angry,

4:44

I think it would start to become funny

4:46

to me. I'm feeling angry, I'm feeling I'm

4:48

gonna say things that I'm later gonna have

4:51

to apologize for, even though in my heart,

4:53

I know I'm right. Oh, they

4:56

don't tell you about that.

5:01

You know, when you're a kid and you think about

5:03

being an adult, then I'm gonna, I'm calling the shots.

5:05

I'm gonna have a cool car and I'm gonna do

5:07

all that. One of the major things you learn as

5:09

an adult is apologizing even when you're right, just

5:12

to keep the fucking peace. It

5:14

ain't worth it, it ain't worth it, it

5:16

ain't worth it. It's just how it is, you

5:20

know? There's certain things, certain

5:22

things, you know, you

5:26

basically stand your

5:28

ground. Which I always loved that statement

5:30

until it meant a white person with a gun can

5:33

shoot an un-black person because they're racist,

5:35

but they felt threatened. Just

5:39

like standing.

5:43

Dude, the stand your ground law is gonna be

5:45

the fucking dumbest thing in the

5:48

fucking world. And what I don't,

5:50

why can't we just openly admit

5:52

how fucking stupid and

5:54

unqualified the average person is,

5:56

including myself, including

5:58

myself. The fact that you. give them that

6:00

you're going to give them a fucking firearm.

6:03

They can walk around in public with it

6:05

and then make the fucking decision to

6:09

fucking stand their ground or not. I

6:11

always just put the analogy of

6:14

driving. The

6:16

amount of fucking people out there that

6:18

you just see just in their own

6:21

fucking world absolutely suck at fucking driving.

6:23

Looking at their phone, drifting into

6:25

other lanes, not signaling. Don't

6:28

even know the rules of the road. Everything on the

6:30

right, all of this dumb ass shit that they're doing.

6:33

But then you give it a gun. All right, get out there.

6:38

You took the safety course. There

6:40

you go. How

6:45

about the sort of guns don't kill people. People

6:47

kill people. Guns aren't dumb. People are

6:49

dumb. I

6:54

know it's a pointless fucking argument. They're out there. You

6:56

got to get rid of rid of them. They're

7:00

already invented so bad people would just have them. So

7:02

I mean, I get it. But like, don't

7:05

you think I'm not saying to take away the guns

7:07

for all you fucking second amendment fucking

7:09

lunatics. I'm not saying that I'm just you

7:11

have to please

7:13

tell me, are you living in the same world? I am.

7:16

Will you just look at people like the level of common sense out there? I

7:20

mean, most of these people shouldn't have a driver's license. They

7:22

just shouldn't. Or

7:27

you should be required. You

7:30

shouldn't just get a ticket. They should

7:32

keep making you go back to driver's

7:34

school as a

7:36

punishment, not just some sort of payment. You

7:38

keep going back to driver's school until you

7:40

fucking get it right. They

7:43

don't let them off

7:45

with the warning. I don't want to do the paperwork.

7:51

Anyway, shit. Well, I've been

7:53

watching the Red Sox, man. I fucking love baseball. It's

7:56

one of the few games it hasn't changed

7:58

that much since when I. I was a kid. So

8:01

it still seems like the same. They definitely, you

8:04

know, the shit talking and the

8:06

pointing and the dugout and the bat flips and

8:08

all of that dumb shit that everybody does, you

8:11

know, not when they strike out and when they pop

8:13

out, you know, but when they get a hit one

8:15

out of, you know, two out of

8:17

10 times, three out of 10 times, you

8:20

know, you should be dancing,

8:23

yeah, right? Like

8:27

the angels, like when you hit a home run,

8:29

they put like this fucking like halo

8:31

on your head. I

8:36

mean, it literally looked like a kid's birthday

8:39

party. But anyways, fucking Red Sox were just

8:44

fucking playing like dogs, man. They lost their

8:46

first four at Fenway. I missed the first

8:48

three. I saw the fourth game where we

8:50

lost like seven and nothing. The Boo Birds

8:52

were out and shit, but we won the

8:54

last two. And

8:57

right now we're playing the Cleveland Guardians. And

9:01

I got three TVs in my house and I can't watch

9:03

it on any of them. It

9:08

was the fucking cables out. Oh, well, who gives

9:10

a shit? Well, you know what

9:12

I do, I give a shit. I still wouldn't be fucking

9:14

talking about it. So

9:18

anyway, I'm still getting used to the Guardians. The

9:20

Guardians and the Nationals. Those

9:23

are still two new, to me, it's

9:25

still the Indians and the Expos, still the

9:27

Expos. So the Nationals and the

9:30

Guardians are two still new names in my

9:32

brain and they both were like red and

9:34

white. I

9:39

still call the Colts Baltimore. I

9:43

will forever call the Raiders Oakland. It's

9:48

one of those things, unless you just switch,

9:50

you gotta switch the whole thing. Like

9:57

the Charlotte Hornets. Then

10:01

they became the bobcats, then

10:03

they became the New Orleans bobcats, now

10:06

they're the New Orleans pelicans, so it's

10:08

gone. You know what I

10:10

mean? It's a riddle wrapped

10:12

up in an enigma, as he's saying that Oliver

10:14

Stone movie. But like when they got like a fucking,

10:16

you know,

10:19

when they keep the name of the team and they just move. How

10:24

about the Cardinals, the St. Louis Cardinals,

10:26

the Arizona, the Phoenix Cardinals, the Arizona

10:28

Cardinals, it's just like, you

10:31

call them whatever you want. There's

10:34

still the Chicago, some old guy saying Chicago Cardinals. All

10:36

right, what am I doing here? What in the fuck

10:38

am I talking about? Oh

10:42

Billy faced a fear last night. I've

10:45

always said like, you know, I don't want to do an award show and

10:49

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and all this type of stuff. And

10:51

you know,

10:54

it was too many fucking rules and all of that

10:56

stuff. And

11:00

it was really, I just was afraid to

11:02

do it. I don't know why. There was

11:04

something about award shows, just it was a

11:06

scary thing to do because it was

11:09

like all the high level fucking Hollywood

11:11

people and celebrities. And I

11:13

just would weird me out to walk out there. And then

11:16

also I've made fun of half of them. So I'd be

11:18

that sort of awkward, right? Or

11:24

some project that they fucking did, you know? And

11:27

I was like, I don't want to fucking do that. And

11:29

I was just hiding behind. That's

11:32

for fucking lame

11:34

people to do or whatever. But the real reason when I

11:36

thought about it, you know, was I was afraid to do

11:38

it. I

11:41

just didn't know how it was going to go. And then I

11:43

also seen like a bunch of great comics go

11:45

out and do these fucking things. And then they just

11:47

get, it's just a thankless job. It's

11:49

like, no matter how good a job you do, people shit all

11:52

over it. And then if you do say something that people don't

11:54

like, it's just like the downside versus

11:56

the upside just never made sense to

11:58

me. So

12:02

they had the Writers Guild Awards last night and

12:06

they just streamed on the internet. So that kind of

12:08

seemed like, all right, I kind of did that at

12:10

the Grammys. All

12:13

right, let me give this a shot. I'll do this

12:15

because I love the writers and I think they're still

12:17

grossly underpaid and just totally get screwed. And

12:20

I get no respect whatsoever. And

12:25

you know, it's funny, like when they were like reading

12:27

off the awards and they'd be like, the Stephen Go

12:29

Bears show. And then they would list like fucking 11

12:32

writers, Jimmy Kimmel, 11 writers.

12:35

And like people kind of like, oh my God, like this

12:37

guy read like 33 fucking names, right?

12:40

And it's like, yeah, that's how much work it is

12:42

doing a show like that every single night of

12:45

the week. And all these people just working their asses

12:47

off to have

12:49

their name read once a year as like a

12:51

grocery store list. So I love the writers. So

12:54

it's like, all right, I'm gonna do this. Was

12:56

that the Palladium in LA? That's what Richard Pryor

12:58

did live on the Sunset Strip. So I always

13:00

loved going in there. So

13:02

I brought my lovely wife, she got me all

13:04

fucking ready to go. And

13:08

they call it patter. That's

13:12

what makes me nervous is that patter. I've seen

13:14

so much of it and it's fucking terrible. And

13:16

people go out there and they sell it and

13:18

it just isn't funny. And

13:20

there's just this whole idea of like, I

13:24

mean, that's what it is, it's patter. It's

13:27

just gonna be sort of mildly amusing. I think that that's

13:29

what it was. It's like, I don't wanna go out there

13:31

and say something mildly amusing and sort of like, bomb.

13:36

Why would I wanna do that? But

13:39

Writers Guild was cool. They were like, if you don't like what we

13:41

wrote, you can rewrite it. So I adjusted it a little bit. Came

13:44

up with something when I was there. I watched a little bit

13:46

of the show. I went back, I

13:48

adjusted it again. So

13:50

anyway, they

13:53

go to call me out. And I

13:55

was like legit fucking

13:57

nervous. Man,

14:01

I hope I don't mess this up. I

14:06

hope I don't piss him off with what I was opening up with.

14:09

I said something like, good afternoon. Yeah,

14:12

the writer's guilt. Good afternoon, you underpaid

14:15

sons of bitches. You grossly

14:17

underpaid sons of bitches. Now, they just won

14:19

the strike. So,

14:24

I wasn't, you know, when people were talking about that and how

14:26

the union stuck together, and I was nervous if I did that,

14:29

that it was going to put a negative effect. I finally just said, just

14:31

fuck it, just do it. So, I went out, I

14:34

did that, and I tagged a few more things. And

14:37

I was immediately getting laughs, and I was thinking like,

14:39

wait a minute, I fucking do this every night. This

14:42

is just a crowd of people, and

14:44

I'm not looking at anybody's face. I'm looking over their

14:46

heads. Not only is this actually not as hard as

14:48

I thought, it's actually fun. So,

14:53

ended up having a great

14:56

time, and I basically

14:58

did what I said I was going to do,

15:00

and then I improved a few things, and that

15:02

went well. And

15:07

it was just one of those things, like, huh,

15:09

well, there you go, Bill. All of that fucking

15:11

hamming and hawing, coming up with all these excuses,

15:13

and, you know, I'm over

15:16

here keeping it real, doing stand-up in

15:18

a fucking dark room in the attic

15:20

of the comedy store. I'm not one

15:22

of them fucking game show hosting fucking

15:24

award shows, guys. Turns out I am.

15:29

A big old Hollywood phony. I went out,

15:31

I presented on an award show, and I

15:33

had a fucking great time. Everybody

15:35

there was cool. I got

15:37

to run into some old friends, Patton Oswell, people I

15:39

haven't seen in a while. I

15:42

had a great fucking time. And

15:46

I was out there with my lovely wife. You

15:50

know, it was great. She took video of it,

15:52

and I could hear her laugh, and when

15:55

she showed me the video, I heard her laugh. You know,

15:57

that's a big thing. As a comedian. If

16:01

you've been with your girlfriend or your wife for a

16:03

while and they're still laughing at your jokes, that means

16:05

that's a big thing. You're like,

16:08

all right, that joke's a keeper.

16:13

All right, let me finish this fucking coffee and I'll get this

16:16

podcast going, all right? Oh, mm-hmm. Yeah,

16:20

so last night, I

16:23

was, oh

16:26

man, speaking of which, we had the best fucking

16:28

time at the writer's thing and

16:30

then I ended up pissing off the lovely Nia at

16:33

the end of the night because

16:37

I lined my kids up. I'm

16:40

a good morning, afternoon parent. I'm not

16:42

a good nighttime parent because I just

16:45

keep going and the

16:47

kids keep going and they fucking ramp me

16:49

up and then I ramp them up and

16:51

then we're just like, it's like we're fucking,

16:54

it's like kid cocaine. My

16:59

wife keeps telling, bill, bill, you know, this is

17:01

where we bring the energy down. This is where

17:04

we bring the energy down. We're trying to make

17:06

him go to sleep, da da da da da,

17:08

and then like, I don't know, like, you know,

17:10

it's really my son, he amps me up. Because

17:13

he, that's funny, like I was reading about, they

17:15

get these little bursts of like testosterone, they don't

17:17

know what to do with them, so he just

17:19

like will grab you by your

17:21

shirt and just go, ugh, he like makes this

17:24

noise, he presses his nose as hard as he

17:26

can against your nose. And

17:28

I'm just like, fucking, let's do this. You know, he

17:31

gets me like, he's doing like, he's like fucking punching

17:33

my shoulder pads before a football game. So

17:37

anything, everything was going great. Nia

17:41

always puts on like this, that

17:44

show about earth and space and

17:46

time. And I'm not gonna

17:48

lie to you, I was like really enjoying it. Morgan

17:51

Freeman is like

17:53

narrating it, so automatically you know it's legit.

17:55

And he was talking about the

17:58

sense of time. They

18:00

started with chimps and this chimpanzee that

18:03

was fucking pregnant and somehow they

18:05

had a picture of the fucking chimp

18:07

inside her stomach like

18:10

it went to the OGBYN. I

18:15

always lose confidence as I say that,

18:17

OGBYN. I know I'm flipping

18:20

something around. That's

18:25

like that WD-40. I

18:27

always say DW like the drum workshop.

18:33

Anyway and he was talking about the concept

18:35

of time, how the concept of time exists

18:39

only on the planet Earth and

18:42

when you get outside of Earth, our

18:44

sense of the second you get outside that and

18:46

you're in space, our sense

18:48

of time doesn't mean anything. And

18:52

I was like what the fuck does that mean man? You're

18:55

freaking me out Morgan, right? And

18:57

he started talking about all

19:00

of these other planets and

19:02

how long their day is and

19:05

how long it takes for them, the

19:07

planets to rotate. So on one planet,

19:10

a day is only 17 hours. On

19:14

another planet, like I

19:18

don't know, it would spin like way faster

19:20

or something. I don't even know. But

19:23

then I'm thinking yeah, but you still as

19:25

a human being, whether I'm on Mars, Saturn

19:28

or the Earth, I'm still gonna

19:32

live the

19:34

same amount of Earth years. So

19:37

that does stay the same. It's

19:41

not like if I wanted to slow

19:43

down time and if these

19:45

other planets were livable, I could go to

19:47

another planet and

19:51

live longer. If

19:54

I started going by their fucking

19:56

days and all of that shit, I'd either be

19:58

way older or way older. way younger as

20:01

far as the way we keep

20:03

time on earth, but I would

20:05

still die in the same amount of earth

20:07

years. Jesus

20:10

Christ, I'm getting a fucking headache. So I'm

20:12

watching that shit and after a while, it's

20:14

like, hey man, I

20:16

didn't come down here in the living room to think

20:18

this fucking hard. So

20:21

I started watching, you know, on this

20:23

little sneak thing, I started watching some

20:25

Instagram videos and we found that this

20:27

compilation of videos, I

20:30

said we, I'm trying to implicate my kids too.

20:34

I found this compilation video of

20:37

people doing dumb shit in golf carts and

20:39

fucking tipping them over and flying off the

20:42

side. And me,

20:45

my daughter, my son started watching it and

20:49

my daughter started laughing, I was laughing. And then

20:52

my son, my son's got the funniest laugh. When

20:56

he first laughs, his first laugh, he just goes, ah,

21:00

he does that like, he laughs like an old

21:02

man, right? And

21:07

then he has the other one where he goes, hoo, hoo,

21:09

hoo, hoo, he's got like a higher pitched one. Like

21:12

when I was watching CoJack with him and that fat

21:14

guy was running down the alley and he laughed at

21:17

the fat guy running, I was just like, oh my

21:19

God, you laugh

21:21

at the same shit I do. So he starts

21:23

cracking up going, dad, dad, play that again, play

21:25

it again. So we kept watching it. And

21:29

you get into your phone, I couldn't hear, couldn't

21:32

hear my wife's voice, she's going, Bill, Bill, stop

21:34

it, you're forgetting it. Next thing you know, we're

21:36

just screaming laughing. And

21:39

I undid all of her work.

21:41

She got everybody calm and relaxed.

21:45

And I took out Instagram and I fucked

21:47

the whole thing up. And she

21:50

was so mad at me that

21:52

she just got up and just stormed out of

21:54

the living room. And

21:56

I was like, well, there you go, Bill. Not

21:58

only did you just piss off. your

22:01

lovely wife, now you're putting both the kids

22:03

to bed. And then I was

22:05

just like, oh, that's my angle. That's how I'm gonna

22:07

get back on her good side, is I'm gonna act

22:09

like her

22:11

being mad at me. She had no justification. And

22:14

what she was, she actually just pretended to be mad.

22:17

So I'd have to do all the work. I mean,

22:19

my daughter can put herself to bed, but. So

22:24

that's what I ended up doing. And

22:27

she was going, no, no, this is what happened. I'm really mad

22:29

at you. I just kept acting like an

22:31

idiot. I was like, no, that's not what happened. It was a nice

22:33

move, it was a nice move, pretending to be mad. I

22:36

now have that in my playbook. I'm gonna

22:38

do that tomorrow. And

22:40

she pretended to be mad, but I just, I kept

22:42

getting in her space. You know, when you do that

22:44

shit, and eventually they just start laughing. So it all

22:47

ended up working out. But I will

22:49

tell you this, man, there's two things

22:51

that I watched this week that just freaking freaked me

22:53

out. One was that Morgan Freeman thing when

22:55

he was talking about the sense of time. And

22:59

they kept going back to the chimps and saying

23:01

how the

23:03

chimps obviously don't have watches. But

23:07

where the sun is in the sky is

23:09

how they basically live

23:11

their lives and how it takes a

23:15

newborn baby like three months to get

23:17

acclimated to the sun

23:20

rising and setting and all of that type of

23:22

stuff. It was really, really fascinating. And

23:24

then on the other side, a

23:27

buddy of mine told me to watch that

23:31

show on Hulu, which

23:34

by the way, Hulu has some fucking

23:36

amazing goddamn shows. I

23:42

streamed the first episode of

23:46

Shogun. And

23:49

let me tell you something, man. All

23:51

right, that shoulda came with a fucking

23:54

warning. Did I already talk about this on Thursday? I

23:56

don't give a fuck if I did. I'm just giving

23:58

people the heads up. If

24:00

you're into watching human beings do

24:04

unspeakably horrible fucking things to each other,

24:06

this is the series for you because

24:08

I tapped out after the pilot. I

24:12

was just like, all right, block

24:14

your ears because there's a spoiler alert here.

24:16

They fucking, they

24:18

boil a guy alive. Now

24:22

there's a way to do that. You throw them

24:25

in there and

24:27

he screams and then in the

24:29

scream you fade to

24:32

something else. But

24:35

the people on this show are like, oh no,

24:37

we're going to take you through this whole process.

24:39

They throw them in the thing. It

24:42

isn't like hot yet because they wanted them

24:44

to feel the whole fucking thing and

24:46

he's screaming, please don't do this. Don't do

24:49

this. And they just walk away. And

24:52

then they have like, like, I

24:54

felt like nine, the next nine

24:56

scenes, you can hear this guy

24:58

screaming in pain and

25:04

I'm just fucking sitting there by

25:07

myself watching this shit. You

25:11

know, Neil was out. She was like

25:13

10 o'clock at night. Kids

25:15

are in bed and I am just watching

25:17

this shit going. Is

25:19

that fucking guy going to die yet? Is

25:21

he going to fucking die? Oh, I did

25:23

talk about this on Thursday. I apologize. But

25:28

it's still, it's been sitting with me since

25:33

I watched it. Like,

25:35

I didn't even make it through the whole thing

25:37

somewhere. Also when there's some guy fucking, you know,

25:40

disrespected his boss by sticking up

25:42

for him and

25:45

his boss told him to fucking stand

25:47

down. And then he felt ashamed

25:49

of himself that he embarrassed

25:52

his boss because

25:54

he was ready to go fucking kill this other

25:56

guy who had 10 other guys with him. I

25:58

mean, he would have gave up his fucking life

26:00

for him but that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough

26:03

that he was gonna do that. He interrupted, he

26:05

spoke when he should not, so he feels bad.

26:07

So in a way to make up for what

26:09

he did, he said he was gonna kill his

26:12

own baby, his son, and

26:14

not have any more kids and make sure his name

26:16

died off because he fucked up. Okay,

26:21

there's a level of dedication you don't see

26:23

every fucking day in the workplace and

26:26

the boss should have been like, you know what, I

26:28

really appreciate that, don't worry about it. You

26:30

don't have to kill your baby's son but

26:33

the boss was just like, yeah okay cool. That's

26:37

the right move here. Next

26:40

time, you know, wait

26:43

to speak when you're spoken to, all right,

26:45

or else you're gonna lose another baby. See

26:49

it work on Monday. I was just

26:51

like, all right, you know what,

26:55

I'm fucked up enough, but I will tell you this,

26:57

it's an amazing goddamn series. If you're

26:59

into that ship, if

27:02

you really want to see the, I

27:04

just kept, you know what it was the last few days, I was thinking,

27:06

what was the purpose of doing that? I

27:10

could see if like you

27:13

want to show that you're fucking ruthless and you

27:15

don't want anybody to invade your country. So

27:18

then you boil the guy alive and then you have

27:20

to send him back on a ship to the country

27:22

he's from and be like, listen, this is what's gonna

27:24

fucking happen to you guys if you come to our

27:27

island, all right. So why don't you fucking pasty cunts,

27:30

you know, stay the fuck away from us, right.

27:36

They didn't, nobody

27:39

knew. So only people,

27:41

I guess the only people I knew were the other

27:43

people in the whole, listens to that guy screaming at death

27:45

thinking like, this is what I have coming.

27:55

Just, I don't know. I just, why did I, Why

27:57

did I, why did I watch it? Because A friend of mine.

28:00

Com you know I said he should watch this

28:02

and that he got be looking at them like

28:04

this is what you watch. This

28:07

is like entertaining to okay

28:09

but that's that's one way

28:11

to do once. On their get

28:13

some shows coming up everybody Arizona Financial

28:15

Theater at the end of the month

28:17

april twenty eighth. In Phoenix Arizona

28:19

we the fourth and final show

28:22

at his. First of all sad

28:24

as everybody in Arizona and the

28:26

great or Arizona area. In

28:29

and. For.

28:31

Era, evidently buying tickets to all

28:33

three of my shows already. Thank.

28:36

You very much an arrive

28:38

next. May

28:40

third, there's a few tickets

28:43

left for the Hollywood Bowl

28:45

in Los Angeles, California. That's.

28:49

Gonna be an amazing. An

28:52

amazing experience. Ah, then

28:54

May sixteenth. They

28:57

shot and seen Santa

28:59

in Columbus, Ohio. May.

29:03

Seven seats. Amid the

29:05

Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tennessee.

29:08

May. Eighteenth or Matt Lawrence

29:10

and Soul Veterans Memorial Coliseum

29:13

Winston stay in Salem, North

29:15

Carolina. Then June six I

29:17

get the Bell Co. Theater

29:20

in Denver, Colorado. In

29:23

June eighth I have the Greek Theater

29:25

in Berkeley California. These have some fun

29:27

as places I don't know that I've

29:29

been to are. Quite.

29:31

A few of those, I'm. Also.

29:34

Speaking at Denver, congratulations to

29:36

the University of Denver beating

29:38

Boston College in the and

29:40

see a. Men's. Hockey

29:42

Division One final Three o'clock in

29:44

the afternoon out here on the

29:47

West coast. Ah,

29:50

I caught the i didn't see be you lose

29:52

to Denver. I saw a B C beat Michigan.

29:55

and go into the final and

29:58

ah I

30:00

don't know who the MVP of the game was, but they should have

30:02

given it to that kid Davis, um,

30:05

the goalie for, um, fucking

30:09

university of Denver, man. They just, like that

30:11

kid was just standing on his fucking head.

30:14

We had a wide open net. He was all

30:16

the way to the like left side from

30:20

behind the net, the left side puck, great

30:24

pass over to this kid on the

30:26

right wide open fucking net.

30:30

Flicks his wrist, shoots the puck at the wide

30:33

open net. And this Davis kid just like, he

30:35

just throws his arm out and it hit him

30:37

in the wrist. I mean, it's not even really

30:39

like a save as much as it is the

30:41

hockey gods just going, this isn't your fucking night.

30:46

Um, he just threw his fucking arms out and

30:48

the fucking puck hit it. And,

30:50

um, I

30:53

would have called the timeout right there if I was the BC

30:55

coach, because that is a demoralizing fucking save.

30:57

And that's what you can think is that the hockey

30:59

gods are against you. And,

31:01

you know, I don't know if it would have made a, I'm

31:03

not looking at me like it would have made a fucking difference,

31:05

but like that was just like, that'll

31:08

just make your fucking head

31:10

go down and your shoulders slump. Like what the fuck do

31:13

we got to do? Um,

31:16

also hit a post right in the

31:18

first period, wide open fucking net. Um,

31:23

it just wasn't there at night. But anyway,

31:25

I want to say that that at

31:28

the very least Denver pass, I had no idea Denver

31:30

had won this. Like if you asked me who had

31:32

the most NCAA

31:36

men's ice hockey division one championships,

31:38

I would have guessed one of

31:40

the Dakotas Minnesota University of Maine,

31:43

like the names I always hear. I

31:45

had no idea Denver that was their

31:47

10th. Let's

31:49

check this out right now. Oh, I can't. I'm not online. Let's

31:54

say we could check out to see who, uh, who has the most.

31:57

I'm going to look that up in the end. It's

32:00

just a second I take it off the

32:02

airport thing that fucking people text

32:04

me or something and it interrupts this recording

32:06

thing. Alright, let's do some reads here. Alright,

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come or into the reeds for the week

36:00

All right, alcohol free beer recommendation.

36:03

As some of you may have

36:05

known, oh, Billy has

36:07

knocked off the booze now for

36:09

about five and a half years. I

36:14

fucking used to abuse it. I

36:17

have been drank since November of 2018. I

36:22

will tell you, I don't fucking miss it. But

36:25

I will say what has greatly

36:28

improved since I quit

36:30

drinking has been alcohol free beers. They

36:34

taste almost exactly like

36:36

the beer. I had one at

36:39

a Beck's last night,

36:41

and a few nights earlier I had a

36:43

couple of Guinness. And

36:46

I was like, there's no way they're gonna, and

36:48

they still, they just get like, they have

36:50

like, I don't know what they do. They

36:52

just have it like infused with the taste,

36:54

the hoppy taste of the beer into

36:57

just club soda water. I

37:01

don't know how they do it. It's weird, you're

37:03

drinking, you're like, where's the buzz? And it

37:05

doesn't happen. All right, dear Billy, auto rotations.

37:09

I'm a doctor who owns a bar, so

37:11

you can imagine I'm understandably interested in people

37:13

having a healthy approach to booze. I

37:16

don't know about that, buddy. I think you're straddling

37:19

the fence here where you're also making money

37:21

off of people not being healthy.

37:24

Was that the guilt? I

37:28

am understandably interested in people having a

37:30

healthy approach to booze. Well,

37:33

that'll hurt your business if they actually drink

37:35

responsibly. Man, I think if

37:37

you keep a bar going, you gotta have at least two or

37:39

three DUIs going

37:42

a year, right? Anyway, I still drink, but

37:44

I take a month off once or twice

37:46

a year to keep my liver happy. And

37:48

as someone whose favorite beer is Guinness, I'd

37:50

like to give Guinness 0.0 a recommendation. I

37:53

had it, man, it's fucking fantastic. I

37:55

don't know what happened to non-alcohol beer

37:58

technology in the last few years, but it's a war.

38:00

world away from O'Doul's that was

38:02

absolute swill. Yeah, O'Doul's was terrible.

38:08

It's funny they gave the Irish name, O'Doul's. Oh

38:12

don't, sorry. Sure

38:14

you can't tell, sure you could tell it's

38:17

different if you put them side by side,

38:19

but if you like Guinness, this is a

38:21

legitimate option and at just

38:23

75 calories in one

38:25

of those nitro cans, you don't even need to worry

38:28

about drinking one in the

38:30

lead up to filming a special. I

38:32

don't have a horse in the race, it's

38:34

just actually good. I've added the links to

38:37

my physician profile at my hospital. Well

38:39

you put your money where your mouth is, all right you are

38:41

a good guy here. As

38:44

well as a link to my bar. Ah,

38:46

and then you're back over the other side. Just

38:49

so you and the great

38:51

Andrew Themless know the background claims are

38:53

legit. Thanks to the last, don't even

38:56

bother to go fuck yourself. So

38:58

and so, M-D. Bill

39:03

Burr, S-U, stand

39:05

up or shut up. Yeah,

39:09

I can actually, I like that one, I like

39:11

the Bex one. If you like Heineken, theirs tastes

39:13

good. But

39:16

the Guinness one's probably the best one. It's

39:20

a full bodied fake beer. I

39:23

know this makes no sense to people that drink and get

39:25

like a, like what is the point? I

39:30

don't know, it's like, I

39:32

don't know what the point is. It's

39:35

phantom limb syndrome, I guess. All

39:37

right, nutritionist is full of it. Bill,

39:40

on the April 9th podcast, you read an

39:42

email from a something

39:44

who knows, who's

39:47

stating fasting for three days. What?

39:50

Bill, on April 9th podcast, you read

39:53

an email from a Who

39:55

knows, who's stating fasting for three

39:57

days is not healthy. I

40:00

saw one agree with you when you

40:02

leave our that many words what you

40:04

make a the other person the price

40:07

Most muslims one point three billion fast

40:09

for thirty days straight once a year

40:11

a team Olajuwon while fast think beat

40:13

my next for a championship. Keep doing

40:16

what you're doing. Your body will not

40:18

lie the you mind over matter love

40:20

you man. You. The best and

40:22

say you are you're the best anti

40:24

So that was my old man eyes.

40:26

I mean I don't know. It's yes,

40:28

I don't. I'm doing a

40:30

three days a month. I don't think it's

40:33

a bad thing. I'm in the best saved

40:35

by Ben in in over four years so

40:37

I'm going to keep doing it and ignore

40:39

what so fucking they're called Nutrition Assess. Do

40:42

whatever the fuck you want from a doctor

40:44

Sir Bill With respect to the fasting and

40:46

band Aids. Ride. In,

40:48

our bodies are pretty resilient when fast

40:51

and your body can burn fat and

40:53

produce it's own few glucose, Increase the

40:55

longevity of cells and it's all done

40:57

naturally. I really appreciate you guys. Give

40:59

me another side of the argument here.

41:01

I was so fucking. Like.

41:04

This disheartened by you Are you there?

41:06

This is what I don't All really

41:09

it's not good for is always a

41:11

fucking Guys have absolutely. Anyway,

41:14

I'm not sure what labs

41:16

a nutritionist would need to

41:18

draw. Or. Monitor, but I'm

41:20

pretty confident it would be over

41:22

itself. Unless you have major underlying

41:24

health problems and are taking medication

41:26

is absolutely nothing to be worried

41:29

about. If it was an issue,

41:31

you'd probably see a lot from

41:33

running a commercial looking for Plaintiffs.

41:35

Anyway, Anyways, you're awesome. Live

41:38

your life and fast to

41:40

your heart's content. I know

41:42

I'm another asshole with an

41:44

opinion and no way to

41:46

verify my credentials, but you

41:48

can trust me.dot. Com. A

41:50

Doctor. Go. Fuck this of

41:52

last. Ah, that's really nice.

41:56

Of the does. As.

41:58

That says, it's just kind of. Fucking rang

42:00

is bullshit Caesar all people writing

42:03

in about this fucking fast and

42:05

guy. Ah,

42:07

I'm. Married is another one. Here.

42:11

Is another one I have sas.

42:15

I sat for thirty days straight. A

42:18

Billie. Built

42:20

on breaths. And

42:22

on what that means, we'll have to

42:25

look that up. Hearing you talk about

42:27

your recent fasting experience brought back some

42:29

memories of my own. A couple years

42:32

back, I fasted for thirty days straight

42:34

and thought I'd share some of what

42:36

that experience was like. For thirty days

42:38

I took, i only took vitamins and

42:41

electrolytes and drank water. Zero food at

42:43

salaries. Food became all I could think

42:45

about. Just like you said, I watched

42:48

you to cooking tutorials but cooking appliances

42:50

even cook meals for my house. Just

42:53

to be near food. On top

42:55

of that, my sense of smell

42:58

became incredibly strong in food smelled

43:00

three hundred percent best with the

43:02

never had before Jesus Christ. I

43:06

started at two hundred and five pounds,

43:08

and by day, thirty hours or hundred

43:10

and sixty seven. Said.

43:13

Sober. one pound per day of

43:15

loss body mass. I had a

43:17

body scan done before. And

43:20

afterwards and as. And.

43:23

Of the thirty eight pounds I

43:25

lost, twenty two pounds was fat

43:28

and sixteen pounds was muscle. Those.

43:31

Of both staggering numbers, I only

43:33

had the shit three times in

43:35

a month. First was on day

43:37

one, then only. And

43:40

then we'll only every two weeks

43:42

after that. I won't go into

43:44

more detail, but one of those

43:46

times I did shit my pants

43:48

after drinking too many too much

43:50

electrolytes and water. On. The

43:52

go when you kind of went into detail their. Success.

43:58

And now picturing a. watery shit

44:01

into your fucking, who is that underwear

44:03

people who used to fucking advertise with

44:05

me? I can't

44:09

remember their fucking names. Me undies,

44:11

me undies, no more sweaty balls.

44:13

Do, do, do, do, me undies,

44:15

me undies. You shit yourself in

44:17

a stall. You haven't fucking eaten

44:19

in 30 days. You drink some like the

44:22

white and a

44:24

handful of hay comes out your ass

44:26

and it stains your taints. You're

44:29

gonna have to buy more me undies and

44:32

dry off your asshole with

44:36

some fucking industrial strength paper towels. I

44:38

work an office job, so I had

44:40

enough energy to continue working and living

44:43

a normal life. However, one day I

44:46

did run after a train that I was

44:48

late to catch and ended up almost passing

44:50

out after only 100 meters

44:54

of jogging. I

44:57

think that's meters, 100M. No

44:59

food has ever tasted as good as the

45:02

first taste after 30 days. I had some

45:04

bone broth soup and some garlic bread. Bad

45:06

decision, I know, but the taste was worth

45:08

it. Bone broth wasn't bad. You

45:10

got to go easy when you come back. Would

45:13

I recommend it? Probably not. Interesting to

45:15

test how far you can push your

45:17

body but not worth it for the

45:19

weight loss. Losing so much muscle sucked

45:21

too. Would you ever try a longer

45:23

fast 7 days, 14,

45:25

or maybe more? Cheers

45:27

for all the laughs, big love to you. No,

45:30

I wouldn't. The 3 days is fine and

45:32

I actually found it easy last month. The

45:36

first day, I just drink in lemon water.

45:38

I don't find myself like

45:41

craving food at all. It's

45:44

the next 2 days with the bone broth that

45:50

was a little annoying but I just found you just

45:52

have to have it and just constantly sipping it so

45:54

you never feel weak or really

45:57

feel hunger. Because if you really start to feel

45:59

weak and you feel hungry, You got to drink

46:01

that bone broth and it's fucking gross and

46:03

then you start You

46:05

know, it takes a minute for your body to absorb

46:07

it and for that Sort

46:10

of nauseating and I and like hunger pain

46:12

to go that weakness to go

46:14

away and in that time you're like fuck man

46:17

Just want to go get a cheeseburger or something. Um, I

46:23

I mean, I think that's a mate like I Wish

46:26

you said how tall you were If

46:31

you were 205 pounds like I mean, I

46:33

don't know like and

46:35

you did a 30-day It's fucking

46:38

insane to lose 16 pounds

46:40

of muscle. I mean

46:42

you must have been starting to look like I would

46:44

say Tom Hanks and castaway or whatever that movie was

46:47

called or You

46:49

know, he did another 30 days you were in like Christian

46:52

Bay I remember reading Christian Bale was saying he would never

46:54

do what he did for the machinist But

46:57

I mean he looked like he was in like a concentration camp.

46:59

I mean I was just fucking He

47:02

was starving to death That's

47:08

just another thing like how the fuck did you just do that

47:10

to people you see like those fucking videos of the Like

47:14

how could you not feed somebody that look like that? I

47:16

just don't get it although

47:19

I did read a book and the person was saying like

47:22

There was some of the guards that would like when no one was

47:24

looking would hand you a piece of fucking bread they

47:26

were and then there was like Prisoners

47:29

who just do whatever the guard said

47:31

and they became abusive. I Wish

47:35

I could remember the line. It was this great thing. They were saying

47:37

there really is no like racism is stupid

47:39

There's good and bad people in every race That's

47:42

what he said. I saw Nazi guards

47:44

that were empathetic and I saw fellow

47:46

prisoners that were fucking selfish assholes It's

47:49

just one of you know that that's one of those things that it

47:51

actually takes like I Don't

47:54

know like that's just something I wish more

47:57

people had we could just they

47:59

do this line in my ass Every race of people has

48:01

their Einsteins and their idiots. That

48:04

really is no. And

48:07

I've never ever even

48:09

remotely met an even remotely intelligent

48:12

racist person. I just never have.

48:14

They've never been. They've never made

48:16

any good points. Their worldview is

48:19

so fucking isolated and small.

48:25

It's just I don't know. You just it's it's it's

48:28

I you know, what do you do with it? People

48:31

come back. People think the fucking world is flat

48:33

again. I don't

48:38

know. I don't know. I don't know. I

48:40

don't know what we're headed towards, but I

48:43

blame God for all of it. He

48:46

needs the what point is he going to recall like

48:48

a bad car? Just

48:51

recall humans back to the factory and

48:53

start building them right. All

48:55

right. Stupid corporate phrases. Oh

48:58

my God. I love these. I

49:00

told like 10 people that that one

49:03

I'm talking about like this

49:05

real estate guy was saying and over here

49:07

we have a corner moment in the

49:10

dumb shit that they come. We're going to circle back. Get

49:12

all you know. I

49:15

can't even remember half of my I'm taking a meeting in a minute, but

49:18

they just say these fucking things. So this guy

49:20

was talking about how his job you don't say I'm

49:22

going to the bathroom. You see, I'm taking a bio

49:24

break. I'm hitting the head. I

49:28

mean, how do you not just to keep your soul?

49:32

I can't even I'm going to go drop a deuce. Stupid

49:38

corporate phrases. Please keep these coming.

49:40

Hey, Billy Tinseltown. First time long

49:43

time. Let me start by

49:45

saying thanks for all you do.

49:47

The podcast and your specials have been consistent

49:50

mood boost over the years. Thank

49:52

you. So having been a corporate

49:54

robot for more years than I can't care

49:56

to admit, I'd like to

49:58

provide some translation. The of corporate

50:01

speak you might enjoy. Ah,

50:05

there appears to be a disconnect. Meaning

50:07

the dumb shit you just said

50:10

is totally different. From

50:12

what you told me last week, Or.

50:15

The dumb shit you just said is very This appears

50:17

to be a disconnect or a. Poor.

50:19

My last email. That.

50:22

Means: can you stop and read? I've

50:24

told you this thing three four times.

50:26

Read the fuck an email. Or

50:30

I just to manage expectations.

50:33

What? You just as far

50:35

as obviously impossible or whatever crack

50:37

head timeline you wanted donbass

50:39

on on whatever crack head timeline

50:42

you he wanted done by a

50:44

lot of passive aggressiveness. I

50:46

like this. finally from my last

50:49

boss, a Texas guy. Ah,

50:52

that dog won't hunt.

50:55

Meeting your ideas? Stupid. Why are you

50:57

wasting my time with his? Bags

51:02

and go fuck yourself. Why like

51:04

that? That's. Better

51:06

because it was just like gross things

51:08

that there was all like a nice

51:10

way of telling you that you're an

51:13

idiot. Or

51:16

that you're annoying Mclaren here we go.

51:19

More curb corporate lingo. Pay their bills

51:21

are either Wall Street William. I've been

51:23

working professionally for the last twenty five

51:26

years and sales Amish disgusted with myself.

51:29

As you probably are when you read

51:31

that. Dude. Sales is

51:33

a skill. It's. A

51:35

skill. I mean it all comes down to what

51:37

are you selling? You know,

51:39

for some that's really hurt a lot of other

51:41

people I would like to take offence. I understand

51:43

it's young. you gotta do what you gotta do,

51:46

but eventually move on a product you believe in.

51:48

Other than that, I have one hundred percent respect.

51:50

Salesman as funny as hell, they tell the upgrade

51:52

street jokes at least back in the day. When

51:55

they did well with the ladies, you know, As

51:59

the best animals. If ah sales is

52:01

basically were a lot of white guys

52:03

end up who had no plan when

52:05

they went to college but somewhere along

52:07

the way someone told them they are

52:09

what you gotta put your group of

52:11

people. Anyway,

52:14

after for a century in this

52:16

business i sell products into the

52:19

commercial construction industry was best that's

52:21

great for from with us. Ah

52:23

I had plenty of ridiculous corporate

52:26

term sarah. Few of my favorites:

52:28

Peanut butter spread. Ah,

52:31

when you spread an idea or price

52:33

all over the market. Seizes.

52:38

Rifle approach. When.

52:40

You take a more targeted approach

52:43

opposite of the peanut butter spread

52:45

out, carpet bombed, your bullshit or

52:47

fuckin you know, have to go

52:50

for the kill shots. Ah, let's

52:52

take that topic. Off

52:55

line. Ah, that means

52:57

less discuss this in private. Action

53:00

Item or tasks as the results

53:03

of a meetings. With

53:06

as an action item of God. I

53:08

mean that's just like Afflicted the same

53:11

Davis may reach back against the fuck.

53:13

can see Siegel says taken the wind

53:15

out he has sailed from. Somebody says

53:18

that I was a couple of our

53:20

action items day I want to discuss

53:22

oh My God Please please stop talking

53:24

like that band with. I

53:27

don't have enough bandwidth right now,

53:29

but maybe after this project is

53:31

completed. I've used that once. I've

53:35

lived actually use that one of guilty that when

53:37

ah but the absolute cysts in easy ways of

53:39

telling somebody I have time for you stupid fuck

53:42

an idea of. Is.

53:44

Rooted lives new Nord to As if it's a dumb

53:46

idea Jesus, don't want to say that's a dumb idea

53:48

to want to do it's. If

53:50

you don't have the energy to say you know what?

53:52

I'm really busy as from the band with take on

53:55

a new projects right now. As best as see it's

53:57

not you, it's me. Show.

54:00

This breakup or I Ah, but

54:02

the absolute worst. The. King

54:04

of the Mall is think outside the

54:06

box. The phrase is usually used by

54:09

some Duisburg who then proposes an idea

54:11

that dozens of other people before him

54:13

have suggested that is very much inside

54:16

the box. Yeah, you know what those

54:18

fucking guys do. They just fall off

54:20

the corporate ladder. That's.

54:23

What they do, all they do is

54:25

adjust, suggests shit that that was innovated

54:28

five to ten years ago and has

54:30

been proven to work. And.

54:33

People. Just think there are a fucking genius. Hope.

54:36

All is well with you and

54:39

your family and go love yourself.

54:41

You know something? I yes yeah

54:43

I remember there was this fucking

54:45

guy. I.

54:47

So he says send a picture shows to him

54:49

every time I would go in with the fuck

54:51

can show Cb that's great I love it but

54:54

what if we did this and it was always

54:56

he would suggest something that was tired. That.

54:58

Is completely fucking played out and he would

55:01

like. Presented.

55:04

Like it was unique or something

55:06

like that. Like. Middle.

55:09

We fucking we were doing some show. And

55:12

he goes. But what is

55:14

what he is? What he did like

55:16

rap and rounds with each segment like

55:18

Dave Chappelle did on the Chappelle show.

55:20

And I want to be like all

55:23

the Chappelle show. You mean. To

55:25

me that show. Twenty years

55:27

ago. He

55:30

wanted to do what he did

55:32

twenty years ago and for the

55:35

last twenty years people have ripped

55:37

it off. You want to set

55:39

that suits? suggestions? you fuckin' jerk

55:41

off giant desk last office. Downtown.

55:45

L Eight hours and V was. Either

55:48

said they got to know this guy

55:50

keeps his fucking job. Like.

55:53

he was the guy like probably in

55:55

the two thousand going that's great what

55:58

if we had a werewolf or

56:00

a vampire, remember they just kept doing that? What

56:03

was the phase after that? That would be great,

56:05

but what if, is there a way to make

56:07

this a Marvel, like,

56:11

a prequel story? Like,

56:14

how many of those fucking Marvel movies did they

56:16

make? I get it. People like Marvel, and it

56:18

must be fucking amazing to have, like, 20 fucking

56:21

movies, just the sheer volume of them. I

56:24

mean, that's like the Encyclopedia Britannica

56:27

of not getting pussy, like, you

56:29

know, the criterion

56:31

collection of

56:35

becoming, what do they call those guys

56:38

that can't get pussy and then they fucking shoot up

56:40

a mall? You

56:43

know, because their balls are full of

56:45

jizz. What do they

56:47

call those people? Then

56:49

they act like they're celibate on purpose. Oh

56:54

my God, what is that? It's not an empath. It's

56:58

not a simp. Doesn't

57:03

it be like, because of the E or

57:05

something? I don't know.

57:08

I have no fucking sympathy for those fucking

57:10

people, okay? If I could walk around with

57:13

orange fucking hair and still

57:15

do all right as a single man every

57:17

once in a while, I don't want to

57:19

hear your brown-haired black hair fucking problems. All

57:22

right? Find the humor

57:25

in bombing. Go out there, take

57:27

a fucking swing. Don't

57:30

look at the third base coach. Guess

57:33

fastball like Pete Rose. You

57:36

can adjust to any off-speed shit. Walk

57:38

up to her, throw

57:40

your dick on the fucking table and talk

57:42

some shit. What

57:44

the hell were they called? But

57:52

they, you know, they take their not getting

57:54

laid. They like give it

57:56

a term. Like It's now by

57:58

choice, like they're a fucking... In March or

58:01

something. I

58:04

know the second I fucking head start on been a foreigner

58:06

who gives a shit. Who

58:09

gives a shit I know you guys don't is no

58:11

fucking way You're going to sit there and spend the

58:13

rest. You drive to work trying to make have me

58:15

remember this fucking word that A unix. Ass.

58:21

And as don't understand a nice ones,

58:23

you just get him some horse right

58:25

there. What Is your

58:28

prom? What is? You just infiltrates those

58:30

chat rooms. With

58:32

fucking prostitutes that you arrested

58:34

and you say okay, rather

58:36

than going to jail you

58:38

gonna do some community service.

58:41

Week you can I get enough? To

58:44

get it gives gives given up to

58:46

these fucking sure. If so they did

58:48

a phone till some people whatever their

58:50

fucking name's me. I. Hang

58:56

on. The

58:58

same was. About

59:04

this. Ah,

59:13

Yes, Okay

59:18

what he called those chances they

59:20

they think tank at any said

59:22

than they act like it's a

59:24

choice and then they soon up

59:27

a fucking mouth and south and

59:29

sales. Thank you Fox and Cells.

59:32

Ah, Didn't

59:35

just saw concerned about truckload.

59:37

Of war is over there. You

59:41

know, get tested and fuck the brains out in

59:43

the be a good. Can.

59:46

We go to a seven eleven now. see

59:53

research don't fall in love with oh she's a

59:56

whore would god you can help the people i

59:58

don't know what to do with our That's

1:00:00

it. That's a podcast. Thank you for

1:00:02

listening. I'll see you

1:00:04

in Phoenix, Arizona. That's my next one It's

1:00:08

gonna be insane I

1:00:10

am getting geared up for my special so old

1:00:13

Billy's old Billy's. He's doing his thing out there.

1:00:15

So thank you guys everybody All right, that's it.

1:00:17

Go fuck yourselves and I'll check it on Thursday

1:00:30

You You

1:01:30

You you

1:02:30

you you