0:00

Hey what's going on it's

0:02

Bill Bird it's time for

0:05

the Monday Morning Podcast for

0:07

Monday May 20th 2020 FOA

0:09

what's going on how are

0:12

ya? Oh

0:14

Freckles is on the podcast

0:17

broken-hearted. I mean

0:20

I knew we I you know I had a pretty

0:22

good feeling we weren't gonna beat the Bruins weren't gonna

0:24

beat the fucking Panthers but when we won game five

0:27

and we were up one nothing after two

0:29

periods I was thinking you know we're scaring

0:31

them we're scaring them it's

0:34

fucking the craziest thing ever being up 3-1 you

0:37

lose game five and all of a sudden you

0:39

look you feel like you're so far up all

0:41

it is is just one victory 3-2 and

0:43

then they're like oh fuck if we lose tonight they

0:45

all send the pressures on you congratulations

0:48

to the fucking Florida

0:51

Marlins you

0:53

know I just gotta say it at this time last two

0:56

years they're just a better team than we are but

0:58

I like the grit that we showed and

1:01

this should have been a hangover year losing

1:04

Bergeron and Craygee but we were in the

1:06

upper third of the NHL won a playoff

1:08

series saw a lot of

1:10

positive things this year I thought the front office

1:13

did a great job so I am

1:15

happy as a Bruins fan you know

1:17

what a suck to lose first round you

1:20

know two years in a row and then we never would

1:22

have heard the end of it from the fucking Maple Leafs

1:24

which is ridiculous because I can't even I've lost count how

1:26

many times we've beat that fucking team so

1:29

anyway buckle up New York

1:31

Ranger fans that's gonna be a great series I'm

1:36

really looking forward to that because the Rangers

1:38

are a tough team too and they can

1:40

score goals but they

1:42

they're fucking Panthers man they they

1:45

know how to win in the playoffs I

1:48

can't explain it man they they figure you

1:50

out and they shut you down and they

1:53

block shots and they piss you off and

1:55

they get you out of your game I

1:58

mean just right down the fucking You

2:00

want a dirty play? They can do that. Whatever

2:03

you want to fucking do, you know,

2:05

they are built to win. They

2:09

are a motherfucker and they're like Jason Voorhees

2:12

or whatever the fucking guy's name is from

2:14

Crystal Lake. You have to play 60 minutes.

2:17

You just cannot never

2:20

think you have a game won. I've

2:24

learned anything over the last

2:26

fucking 13 playoff games in

2:29

the last year I've seen against them. They are just

2:31

a fucking buzzsaw, man.

2:34

They're coming.

2:37

Condolences to New York Knicks fans.

2:40

Jesus Christ. The injury

2:42

bug. What a time to hit you. Congratulations

2:44

to the Pacers. Actually,

2:48

Knicks fans are fucking hilarious. I

2:51

always go easy on Knicks fans because I love Paul

2:53

Verzi. But the rest of

2:55

them, the fucking arrogance. I

2:58

don't give them one fucking... How many

3:00

presidents? It's not even

3:02

years at this. 51 fucking years. I mean,

3:06

that's the kind of thing like you hang up

3:08

in your restaurant. You know,

3:10

come to Knicks deli. 51 years of service. They're

3:15

the opposite. 51 years of fucking

3:18

losing. Just not winning a

3:20

championship. And they just sit there jumping

3:22

up and down, screaming and yelling on

3:24

social media. Like

3:26

they're going to win something. Sorry, I had to

3:29

go in the other room. My kids are making

3:31

too much noise. Anyway, I'll tell

3:33

you what. I did sit down and watch

3:35

the PGA tournament this year. I'm

3:39

going to go Chris Berman

3:41

here. Congratulations to Xander killing

3:43

them shawfully. Sorry.

3:48

Fucking guy was minus 21 for

3:51

the tournament. And

3:54

he only won by one stroke and he

3:56

had to birdie the last fucking hole. This

4:00

other guys i don't know any the

4:02

names your I wrote have doubts I

4:04

would butcher them. just gotta respect or

4:06

how well everybody played. Bryson. To. Shambo

4:08

had a fucking epic. Tournaments.

4:11

And the he had like i don't know I lost

4:13

count. He had like six seven. Eight.

4:16

Birdies. No. Bogeys

4:18

on the final day came from

4:20

behind me to ties sanders softly

4:23

at minus twenty six to have

4:25

one was hobbling. was also there

4:27

double bogeyed on eighteen, unfortunately, but

4:30

of Bryson. With. Like

4:32

a small town watching

4:34

birdies. eighteenth to tie

4:36

softly. At

4:38

fuckin' Ah. Minus.

4:40

Twenty as it's it easier to be taken

4:42

like what the fuck do I gotta do to

4:45

win this tournaments And it's a par five

4:47

on the eighteen. He

4:49

got on and not sorry and would there was

4:52

a not an easy part. I'm not good at

4:54

judging parts but it looks like a good. You

4:56

know it was a good was it was that.

4:59

Links where it says even for a

5:01

pro this is not as this is

5:03

not and gimme and I he knocked

5:05

down in front of everybody won his

5:07

first. Tournament

5:10

It was amazing! Shoutout

5:12

to our. Call.

5:14

And more more a cow basically played

5:16

a perfect run a golf part every

5:18

hold have one bogey and then finally

5:20

got a birdie. Damn birdie putts. We're

5:22

just not sink in for that that

5:24

dude. but are he finally got an

5:26

on eighteen and then the Scottish chef

5:28

listing was fucking hilarious. You

5:31

know that's all just a misunderstanding.

5:34

Were. Young speak English. the roads

5:36

closed. Ha on an officer

5:38

stop I eat Go are

5:40

you saying? Go up near

5:43

dragging me down the street

5:45

and I'm shitting my pants

5:47

will hit the accelerator. It's

5:52

all a misunderstanding. I understood it. Perfect

5:54

with i'm a white man on my

5:56

way to watch golf course I have

5:59

a t time. Made

6:01

me nothing to me. Fantastic.

6:06

That. Was fucking fantastic. You

6:09

know every time you see it out, there's some

6:11

white privilege for everybody right there. We like you

6:13

know, doesn't mean you grow up. Which means that

6:15

right there he could drag a cop out, them

6:17

shit his pants when the fuck it Thanks as

6:19

don't go up the road and you still golf

6:22

that death. Success.

6:24

Success as just a

6:26

misunderstanding. I

6:28

didn't I see either. I added up my

6:31

glasses I couldn't read. He was saying stop

6:33

and I would get confused if that means

6:35

go or not. Anywhere

6:39

I go to a fucking. Sought.

6:42

Like I don't know what he shot that. They had

6:44

a fucking great round. And

6:47

I was so annoying and I was as was on the

6:49

road once again. And he wraps it

6:51

up as a while. I was an

6:53

amazing thing. The seats and then while

6:55

the other guys are all golfing. They

6:58

cut see him and they do the

7:00

whole fucking press conference. He.

7:02

Sits down he goes. You notice somebody's got

7:05

run over by a bus that was working

7:07

for the the the tournament. He

7:09

goes. obviously my heart goes out to that's bigger

7:11

than what happened, but I obviously cannot talk about

7:13

this if you want to talk about the round

7:16

of golf. I will

7:18

and then just immediately they just started finding

7:20

ways to ask about what happened in the

7:22

morning. I fucking hit mute and they did.

7:24

They sat there with the full soccer press

7:26

conference as the top golfers in the world

7:28

were playing a major and I to listen

7:30

this guy's you know I didn't I put

7:32

it on fuck and. Are

7:34

right. And

7:36

then when he was done they didn't go back to

7:38

the golf. they went for it. he has Pn and

7:40

then they broke down. What the fuck just happened. And

7:44

they were away from the got Like

7:46

existential this after. That

7:49

or maybe says it was it was the you know. Second,

7:53

Day and or whatever. But like. the

7:55

whole fucking thing was hilarious to me

7:58

it was very like gas You

8:01

know, happy Gilmore. I

8:06

don't know. With a

8:08

little bit of what's his face? Who's the big guy

8:10

that used to fucking smoke cigarettes? I

8:16

don't know. I'm too fucking old to remember people's

8:18

fucking names. There's just something funny about golf.

8:23

And you can you actually play better if you're a little shit

8:25

face. Football used to be like that. But anyways,

8:27

I was joking on Twitter saying

8:29

that it wasn't golf anymore. By

8:32

the way, I'm always going to call it Twitter. You

8:35

know, X. Like,

8:39

why would you do that? That

8:42

guy's funny to me. Whatever the fuck

8:44

is that Tesla guy? I

8:46

like how he's trying to be dangerous, you

8:48

know, smoking weed on podcasts and then fucking

8:50

throwing out his opinions. There's

8:57

something fucking really funny about that. And

8:59

he annoys the shit out of people.

9:02

So anytime he has a comment on something, I

9:04

always go right to the comments. Because

9:07

I got to give a shout out to all you fucking

9:09

civilians out there. Some of the

9:11

comments you guys leave in these things are

9:13

better, are equal to whatever a comedian

9:16

could come up with. There

9:20

was this German guy. He

9:22

posted this video and he goes, he's

9:25

like, well, here are three things that

9:27

are in America that are not in

9:29

Germany but should be. And

9:32

he was talking about big coffee cups,

9:34

was one of them. I

9:36

forget what the second one. And the last one

9:39

was in everything bagel. Saying

9:42

we don't have these in Germany, they should

9:44

have them. And the first comment was, I

9:46

can think of about six million reasons why

9:48

you don't have those in Germany. Fucking

9:54

perfect joke. Fucking

9:57

perfect joke. Not one Out

9:59

of the way. So bad on it.

10:01

Every word Bull logs in the

10:04

sentence. You got rights to the

10:06

funnies as efficiently as fucking possible.

10:09

Fantastic. Guys

10:13

his give some you guys out there just oh

10:15

and some really good to do some really good

10:17

work. You

10:21

know maybe subjects gifts Santa put fry man

10:23

it's it's of fun moved to things left

10:25

and and same anything to you can make

10:27

some fucking money us. Anyway,

10:30

Ah, plowing ahead, I want to

10:32

thank everybody that came out to

10:34

the shows in Columbus, Nashville. In.

10:37

Winston Salem. Mummy

10:40

that that's how how fucking

10:42

Tobacco Row is that? The

10:46

city's it's named after two different

10:49

cigarettes. And

10:51

I got say I did the road with

10:54

your partner who's been out there headlining and

10:56

out. He was nice enough to come out

10:58

and open for me and I'm. All.

11:00

I saw was fifteen minutes of

11:02

his new our he was fucking

11:04

murdering the ship was hilarious. I

11:06

got a bunch of people tweet

11:08

now me asking who we you

11:10

know. Where. Is he performed with what's the

11:12

name of the guy above? Ah, that's always a great

11:14

sign. Me: Absolutely killed

11:16

with such a good time and we went

11:18

to three. Really? Really? Good. Comedy.

11:22

Cities and down. To.

11:25

I get to spend like a day and a half

11:27

and Nashville Columbus I came in the day of sorting.

11:29

It doesn't really do anything. To

11:33

say I've never even walk to how states

11:35

campus so am I probably should. Necessarily years

11:37

have been making fun of their football fans

11:39

whining about knocking into the fucking playoffs. but

11:41

I didn't do that that night. There was

11:43

no reason to do this. Together

11:46

you get a good did this a time in

11:49

place during football season. Aware of about it. You

11:51

know if you're give you're booking me to work

11:53

to college. I'm I'm not gonna trash offense. Not

11:57

to mention you. You know what he's doing.

12:00

And in Nashville. I

12:03

went down there. Oh my gosh, That's.

12:06

Such a fun town and an absolute shit

12:08

show. That's that to plastic like like bit

12:10

times square. Whatever. that fucking street is where

12:13

all the tourists go and all of these

12:15

fucking broads like they have like they're they're

12:17

bachelorette parties and they'll put on daisy dukes

12:19

where they have a nice ass or not.

12:22

you know the I'll put on a cowboy

12:24

hat and cowboy boots right? And most of

12:26

of daylight Force another lady of the not

12:28

good looking women and that just peddling these

12:30

bikes down the street and all they do

12:33

is. Is

12:42

or up? Feel like torches

12:44

in stride? It's work. It's

12:46

just a spot game. It's

12:48

a fucking mess. It is

12:50

a fucking mess and a

12:52

spokesman. Wildly entertaining. Is

12:55

no way to get bored when you walk

12:57

down that street. you just watch him his

12:59

people and different levels of alcohol consumption. It's

13:01

sort of a P G Thirteen Bourbon Street

13:03

you know people a drop in a not

13:05

too crazy but I'm sure late at night

13:07

he gets babbel. you walk around the during

13:09

the day you know we want got some

13:11

barbecue a workplace and there was one woman.

13:14

With like her head down on the table

13:16

she does. You know we've all been that

13:18

she just went to hearts you know to

13:20

play the games she lost right? Add does

13:22

we've gone down the street. And

13:25

I swear to God like every like three minutes

13:27

also uses. And

13:32

they were listening to the way worse

13:34

music ever. That's dead. Dead Is

13:36

Dead Dead Dead. Or that.

13:38

Enough. Whatever that

13:40

sucked in saugus, several baboon, a woman,

13:43

It's just a fuckin' Or

13:45

it's just a horrible sox to big

13:48

head. It's a budget and now they

13:50

were Go nuts that he'll pause so

13:52

absurd rom it's. Torching

13:59

Support some Sugar Army by Def

14:01

Leppard. It was fucking amazing A

14:03

we were just sit there me

14:05

club soda can it's in partner

14:07

can they were go by we

14:09

we just laugh and wave until

14:11

when everything was it's a fucking

14:13

glorious glorious said show bomb. Set.

14:17

Some great barbiturates to get the name

14:19

of the place. So I got a

14:21

written down my songs. ah but it wasn't

14:23

the spot but it was. It wasn't

14:25

the iso else would just go to replace

14:27

Jackson the main drag but I went

14:29

to something right near this hotel. Else

14:34

buckles new, the hotel, and

14:36

the worst, whatever it was

14:38

probably the best bomb. Or

14:42

they have their that was to with

14:44

the sauce. Said tactics and then they

14:46

had i'm. Now.

14:48

The cornbread was really fucking good. It was just you

14:50

know when deals and up and I've been staying away

14:52

from Braddock at the special com apps have been doing

14:55

that. Building bad that

14:57

happened in Nashville was I will. I went

14:59

in there was a taco truck. Sort.

15:02

Of one second. Taco to

15:04

stay to chicken. I didn't need the at.

15:07

To tear would have a sock. It's called nine. Always

15:09

get over that. This too many teeth I was given

15:11

screwed up. To. T O two

15:13

t taco. On.

15:16

To something else. I've been in L a

15:18

long enough, but like I just my short

15:20

term memory sticks. Are buzzes Sekai I'm

15:22

gonna get some chips and block with it to him

15:24

and I gotta do that right? The.

15:27

Guy fucking hands me guacamole in like

15:30

you don't You know those to go

15:32

applesauce containers that you give do a

15:34

kid in. you tear the top off.

15:36

They. It was that. But.

15:38

With guacamole in it. Sounds.

15:42

Is looking at the Grammar society? Guacamole.

15:45

Is only green for about nine minutes.

15:47

How the fuck is that shit still

15:50

green? I'm not eating Met. I

15:54

almost gave it back to but I'd either I

15:56

still want to be rude I just you know

15:58

and I bit new on ships. It's fucking stale,

16:00

but the chicken was good. I mean, it's

16:02

chicken. How do you fuck up chicken, right? So I fucking, I

16:06

couldn't get over that. I

16:10

didn't take a picture of that and send it to my

16:12

wife, but I mean, that's what I get. Who the fuck

16:14

orders a taco in Nashville, Tennessee? I did get barbecued, so

16:16

I'm not completely stupid. So then

16:18

the next day we drove

16:21

down to Winston-Salem. What

16:25

a great drive, man. 40 the whole way,

16:28

you know, through

16:31

Tennessee volunteer, Knoxville

16:34

country, and through

16:36

the Appalachian Mountains, dude, it was

16:38

fucking gorgeous,

16:41

fucking gorgeous. Just

16:45

one of those things where I was just looking like, why do I

16:47

live in a city? Why do I

16:49

live in a city? I should just live out here in

16:51

the middle of nowhere. And then we drive into town, this

16:53

is Confederate flag, giant fucking

16:55

Confederate flag. Oh

16:58

my God, that's probably why. That's

17:00

probably why I don't fucking live out here. Other

17:02

than that, but everybody, not everybody's that way. But

17:08

anyway, Martin,

17:10

I got a fucking hilarious joke about the Confederate flag

17:12

too. So anyways,

17:14

we get there, right? And it was like, it was

17:18

raining fucking cats and dogs. And

17:21

somebody hit a light pole and

17:23

knocked it down and the power went out. And

17:25

then they were saying like, you know, there was

17:27

a chance it wasn't gonna be a show. And

17:30

people were talking about generators and fucking,

17:33

you know, extension cords and all

17:35

of this shit. And by the way, I

17:37

was playing, I

17:41

was playing in the arena where, what's this

17:43

place? Tim Duncan played Wake

17:45

Forest, played college

17:47

at. I remember all

17:49

the Celtics fans were excited like, oh my

17:52

God, this guy's like a perfect Celtic, the big fundamental,

17:54

he's using the backboard. You know,

17:56

we don't dunk on people. We just fucking

17:58

beat you with the fundamental. That's what we've

18:00

always done. And

18:04

of course we didn't get them, but you know,

18:06

Chris Paul played there. It was ridiculous. They had

18:08

all the pictures up

18:11

on the wall of everyone that ever played there

18:13

that went into the NBA

18:16

to become a Hall of Famer. Even just came in for

18:18

a couple of years, a cup of coffee or whatever. It

18:20

was really, really fucking cool. So because

18:22

the show got delayed like 45 minutes, I

18:24

got to fucking, you

18:27

know, be like a nerd just going up and down, reading all

18:30

of that stuff. Legendary venue. And

18:32

it reminded me of a venue that I want to play

18:34

out there. I did this rough and rowdy thing with

18:37

Barstool Sports a long time ago. Pre

18:40

pandemic, right? Everything in

18:43

my life, it's like, you know, before Christ after

18:45

death, right? Right now

18:47

it's like the pandemic, everything before the pandemic seems

18:49

like a million years ago. So,

18:52

um, there was a,

18:54

uh, this arena that

18:56

they had it in, they call it the

18:58

house that Rick Flair built. And I was just like, this

19:00

would be a great place to shoot a special or whatever.

19:02

It's an old wrestling arena. Um,

19:04

it's just like a mini arena. It's not fucking huge. The

19:06

upper deck. I mean, I can't remember if it was like

19:08

two rows or five rows or whatever. Everybody

19:11

just jammed in. And I, and I remember telling my

19:13

agent going, I got to come back here, put

19:15

the stage right in the middle and,

19:18

uh, we got to

19:20

do a show down here. So that reminded me of that.

19:22

But, um, I do have a

19:24

soft spot for, uh, North Carolina. And I lived

19:26

there a long time ago for two semesters did

19:29

not go well. And I left, but I

19:31

really, um, I

19:34

like it more now than I did then

19:36

I was in a bad place. Had nothing

19:38

to do with the state. I was just in a bad place. I

19:41

was like going to college because that's what you're

19:44

supposed to do. And my heart wasn't in it

19:46

and I wasn't doing well. And

19:48

I was going part time and it was costing

19:50

me a fucking fortune. I just had to regroup

19:52

and go back to Boston and, you

19:56

know, work my way through

19:58

all of that shit through. college and all that

20:01

shit. I think

20:03

I finished when I was like 24. December.

20:07

I was like 24 and a half and then I was 25 when

20:10

I actually walked and got my diploma. Ha

20:12

ha ha ha. I was

20:14

just like, I am a fucking loser.

20:17

It just took me forever, you know? We

20:21

didn't have the money, so had

20:23

to work my way through college and I was doing

20:25

a couple classes

20:27

per semester. And then finally, I just remember

20:29

I was just getting

20:31

so much older than everybody else and if you took a

20:33

core requirement class, there'd be like freshmen in there and they

20:35

look like kids to me. I was like, I gotta get

20:37

the fuck out of here. So finally, I

20:39

just took out some student loans and

20:42

I went straight through this summer

20:46

and just blew through going to Emerson. I did three

20:48

years and two years and just got the fuck out

20:51

I was like, I have to get on. I

20:54

mean, I should be like divorced. I'm so fucking

20:56

old at this point. It was really embarrassing that

20:58

last semester when I was there, I'm just like,

21:00

oh my God. You

21:03

know, that wasn't a good time in my

21:05

life. Why am I talking about that shit? Speaking

21:07

of not a good time, let's listen

21:09

to me reading out loud here. Oh,

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some shit, baby. How you

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doing, sweetheart? You like those initials right on my

25:30

collar? Old school. Old

25:33

school. 499. Last

25:37

attempt. Home court advantage. Oh,

25:40

God. Guys, I

25:43

understand your philosophy. I

25:45

understand the philosophy. I get it.

25:47

I get it.

25:49

You guys are making the assumption that

25:51

if you... Okay, I'll read this again. Wow.

25:55

Your response to the writer explaining

25:57

stealing home court advantage was... exactly

26:00

like people who are too blinded

26:02

by politics or religion to respond.

26:05

No, it isn't. And I

26:07

like how you wrote, wow, with capital letters

26:10

to try to P-E-D your fucking point here.

26:13

Just like the blue ties versus the red ties that

26:15

you make fun of. Oh, God, we're going to bring

26:17

up politics in this. You didn't

26:19

even get more than two sentences into the

26:21

person's letter and ranted about arguments that he

26:24

didn't even make. You didn't even hear him

26:26

out with an open mind. All right, because

26:28

I've heard these all before. I

26:31

don't buy into it. If

26:34

you have a game at home,

26:36

you don't automatically win it. OK,

26:41

it was invented by 24 hours

26:44

sports networks to add

26:46

more urgency. When I

26:48

grew up, when somebody split at

26:50

home, nobody used to say they

26:52

stole home court advantage. That is

26:55

a new expression. That

26:57

you will respect your fucking elder. You

26:59

don't automatically win if you have a

27:01

home court. OK, so now you're going

27:03

to hit me with these fucking analytics.

27:08

The fucking Minnesota Timberwolves, did

27:11

they double steal home court advantage?

27:15

Next thing you know, the fucking they were down 3-2.

27:19

It's bullshit. It's

27:21

like the pitch count. It's fucking bullshit.

27:24

It's all bullshit. Analytics,

27:27

it's fucking bullshit. Not all of it, but

27:29

most of it is bullshit. You're not going

27:31

to convince me of this fucking argument. After

27:37

game one, if you win game one, now you got

27:39

to look at it. Now it's like a six game

27:41

series. Oh, we're not counting game one anymore? After

27:45

game two, now you got to look at essentially

27:47

it's a five game series. When

27:49

the series is over, essentially it's a no

27:51

game series. It's

27:55

the essentially, which is

27:57

how you're shoehorning your stupid fucking mess. I

28:00

don't buy into it. I don't buy

28:02

into it. It's sensationalism. You're trying to win

28:04

a championship. In order to win a championship,

28:06

yes, you have to win games on the

28:08

fucking road. And yes, you're going to lose

28:11

some games at home. And

28:13

you have to put on your big boy pants to use

28:15

another fucking expression and win the fucking games.

28:19

Nobody on the team, the coaches, none

28:21

of them are thinking, we lost home

28:23

court advantage. They're just thinking, how do

28:25

we win the next game? Using

28:28

home court advantage, they stole home court advantage,

28:30

whatever they say, that is just for fans

28:32

like you to sit

28:34

there and go, wow, like you're a

28:36

fucking GM. You're not. All

28:38

right, whatever. I got to listen more to

28:40

this fucking idiocy. Just

28:43

like how religious people don't listen to arguments and go

28:45

against... No, this isn't the same thing. This

28:47

isn't the same thing. What my opinion on a

28:50

sports league doesn't

28:52

justify dropping bombs on children,

28:54

doesn't justify a crusade, doesn't

28:58

justify trying to push an entire group

29:00

of people into the fucking

29:03

Mediterranean Sea. It's just an

29:05

opinion on sports. If

29:07

you actually had a fucking point to make, you

29:10

wouldn't have to go this fucking big. Anyway,

29:13

in your defense, the writer open with,

29:15

you are absolutely wrong, which is clear,

29:19

court sensitive, Billy Ballistics feelings.

29:23

Mathematically the statement of stealing home

29:25

court is correct. It

29:28

isn't. First

29:30

of all, you didn't make one point there. All

29:33

you said was I just fucking jumped the gun

29:35

and now you're already saying that it's correct. Okay,

29:38

here we go. I am literally

29:40

going to have to sit through this again. He

29:44

goes, are you done? I will leave

29:46

you with just two points to consider.

29:50

One, it's not like the bad things

29:52

come in three example you gave. Unlike

29:56

that example where you can continue to

29:58

reset and move the goal. Post

30:00

a best of seven series has

30:02

a finite number of games Yes,

30:05

but I can keep saying Essentially,

30:08

it's a six game series. Essentially.

30:10

It's a five game series. Essentially.

30:12

It's a four game series That

30:16

was the point I understand

30:18

that infinite is not the

30:20

same as seven He

30:24

goes yes read that again and make sure

30:26

you understand what that means oh My

30:29

god the fucking arrogance of this okay

30:32

Essentially your argument boils down to home

30:34

court advantage doesn't exist at all because

30:36

you're not guaranteed to win all

30:38

your game your home games Yes,

30:43

and if you want to win a championship guess

30:45

what you have to go into somebody else's building

30:48

and win Be

30:51

you the favorite or be you the underdog

30:54

That's what you have to do and

30:57

that's the game that's really being played on

30:59

the outside Is a bunch of fucking

31:02

analysts in suits who didn't fucking even

31:04

break a sweat? Sitting there with HD

31:06

makeup on telling me that somehow home

31:08

court advantage was just stolen and Then

31:12

and then and like what the team's gonna

31:14

fucking implode It's basically it's

31:16

chicken little is you're telling me the sky

31:18

is falling and it isn't It It's

31:23

it's nothing we are

31:25

playing basketball four games are in my

31:27

arena three are in yours Nothing

31:30

is going to change that I Have

31:33

to win four games you have to win

31:35

three games nothing changes that I Believe

31:39

you admitted that you don't automatically win if

31:41

you're at home, so I don't understand why

31:44

they turn on the sirens when

31:46

somebody loses One of

31:48

the home games at the beginning of the series. I just

31:50

don't think it's that big a fucking deal That's

31:55

all I'm saying anyway

32:00

With that logic, then

32:02

it's just as dumb to call it home

32:04

court advantage at the beginning of the series.

32:08

Yeah, it is. I'll go

32:10

with that. I agree with that. At the

32:12

beginning of the series, the truth that you're not necessarily

32:14

going to win all your home games is just as

32:16

true. Yes, it is. It

32:19

is. That's

32:24

it. That's all that's happening here. Nothing

32:28

else is happening. Numbers aren't

32:30

being moved around. Numbers

32:32

of games in your place versus games

32:34

in the other person's place has not

32:36

changed. You've just decided to ignore some

32:39

of the games so the math works

32:41

out. You've

32:43

also chosen to ignore that you're not automatically

32:45

going to win a fucking home game. Yes,

32:48

if you throw all of that out, your point... I'm

32:51

not reading any more of these. I'm

32:53

not reading any more of these. It's so fucking

32:55

dumb. It's

32:58

right up there with the fact that

33:00

the defensive player can't stand in the

33:02

paint anymore for longer than three seconds.

33:04

I have to watch people take unguarded

33:06

fucking layups and dunk and then stand

33:08

there and stare at the crowd and

33:10

scream as you thump your chest because

33:12

you dunked on nobody. But

33:16

whatever. Just cast me off

33:18

as some fucking old man. The

33:23

pitch count is bullshit. It's all fucking

33:25

bullshit. How

33:28

the fuck did guys 100 years ago... You're

33:30

pitching today. It's a double header. They

33:32

would pitch both games. Their arms didn't

33:34

fall off and they played for 15

33:36

fucking years. There

33:42

was no pitch count on Nolan Ryan, Tom Seaver.

33:44

There was no pitch counts on these guys. I

33:49

don't know what the fucking problem is where

33:51

all of a sudden after all of these fucking

33:53

years they were making it seem like everybody had

33:56

to retire from pitching after the age of 26.

34:00

They didn't. It's

34:02

it's there's so much extra

34:04

fucking bullshit. In

34:07

the games, there's so much fucking analytics

34:10

that there's no more that there seems to be

34:12

very little going with your gut. The

34:15

vibe of the game, the

34:18

moment and all of that. It's just like, okay, it

34:20

is for the three. What

34:22

do the analytics say that that you do here?

34:25

It's like the game is on autopilot. The coach doesn't

34:27

have to make decisions anymore. You

34:30

know, I don't know. I just don't agree with it. So why

34:32

don't we just agree to disagree? All

34:35

right. I

34:38

mean, I'm just convinced it's a sports journalist. Like

34:41

who came up with that? It

34:45

happened all the time when I was growing up and nobody ever said it. And

34:47

then all of a sudden out of nowhere, people start saying

34:49

it. And it

34:51

just gets you to, you know, it's hype man

34:55

shit. It's it's I

34:58

don't think anybody, any professional athlete

35:00

is sitting there going, oh my

35:02

God, we lost home

35:04

court advantage. What are we going

35:06

to do? This

35:10

is my experience with professional athletes, and I've asked them

35:12

all this, and they all have told me the exact

35:14

same thing. I said,

35:16

what is better? Okay,

35:19

hitting the home run, scoring a touchdown, whatever the fuck

35:21

it is you do at home. And

35:24

hearing the crowd go crazy. Or

35:27

is it better to do it on the road and

35:29

shut them the fuck up and make a couple of

35:32

kids cry and they all smile and they go, oh,

35:34

on the road. On

35:36

the road, definitely. Okay,

35:39

so why don't you throw that into your fucking analytics? You

35:43

know, maybe you should ask the fucking athletes rather

35:45

than listen to these fucking idiots on

35:47

on on sports talk radio. You

35:51

know, who just are forever, forever

35:55

coming up with fucking ways to

35:58

make shit, you know, to ram it. ramp up

36:00

pressure to make it, you know, it's

36:03

PT Barnum horseshit is

36:07

all it is. It's like

36:10

when these guys, they go up to these professional athletes,

36:12

you know, that guy

36:14

went up to that dude, Giannis, who's a

36:16

fucking champion at the highest level, and

36:18

they lose in the first round, he goes, you know, do

36:20

you feel like a failure? That

36:23

question had nothing to do with that, with the

36:25

athlete, it had everything to do with the reporters.

36:27

So I don't listen to that shit. You and

36:29

I, we're different, but you can sit there, and

36:32

you know, you can have your fantasy football team

36:34

and think you're a fucking GM, and do all

36:36

of this stupid shit that people do, you can

36:38

get in Jersey, and you can wear it, and

36:41

you can put the black stuff under your fucking

36:43

eye, and you know, fucking start

36:46

dancing, and trying to get on the jumbotron, you

36:48

can do all of that fucking shit. God

36:50

bless you, all right? God

36:52

bless you. New segment, irrational

36:55

fears. Okay, thank God, let's move on

36:57

for this. Hey Bill,

36:59

lady listener here from New Hampshire. There

37:03

recently was a news story that

37:05

got me thinking about my irrational

37:07

fears. Some teenager was

37:09

arguing with a young mother when she

37:12

got in the porta

37:14

potty with her four year old daughter. The

37:19

teenager knocked it over, trapping them inside,

37:21

and covering them in feces and piss.

37:24

Absolutely disgusting. How

37:29

the fuck, you didn't, human relations are

37:31

just unbelievable. That's your mother. Teenager,

37:36

four year old, new

37:39

husband, new kid, you didn't, you know, maybe she

37:41

didn't pay attention to her, there's still no reason

37:43

to do that. The four year old didn't do

37:46

anything. Then again,

37:48

the teenager's brain isn't fully developed. All

37:52

right, lesson learned. Never go into a porta potty

37:54

with a relative that doesn't have a fully developed

37:56

brain outside of it if they're mad at you.

38:00

I refuse to use porta-potties because I'm

38:02

terrified of them. I

38:04

tried going in once and

38:07

I start hyperventilating. When

38:11

I was a teenager, I had read

38:13

a story of a man hiding inside one

38:15

to watch girls use

38:18

it and it terrified me since then,

38:20

where the fuck did he hide? In the

38:22

toilet? Plus the thought of having to

38:25

hover my ass over

38:30

this dark pit of piss and shit

38:32

freaks me out. I'm also

38:34

afraid of ants. Those fuckers

38:37

are too small for how, they're

38:40

too smart for how small they are. Do

38:42

you have any fears that aren't common? All

38:47

right, well you can pretty much go your whole life and never have

38:49

to use a porta-pottie. So that's an easy one.

38:53

Ants, I don't know, they're everywhere. So that one's

38:55

pretty logical. Do I have any, I used to

38:57

have some. I used to have to like,

39:00

if I was wearing sneakers or shoes that had laces,

39:02

I used to have to untie and retie them while

39:05

I was getting my intro to go on stage because

39:07

I was so afraid that I was

39:09

gonna trip and fall. I

39:18

have some pretty healthy fears. I

39:23

worry about the dollar. I

39:29

worry about not being funny

39:31

and people going to see me and then not

39:33

wanting to come and see me again and then the,

39:35

you know, and then fucking, then

39:38

what do I do? I worry about that. I

39:44

worry about what this world's

39:46

gonna be for young people and my

39:48

kids. I

39:52

don't know, those are rational. I

39:55

worry that they're gonna say we ran out of

39:57

fresh water when we didn't, that

39:59

they're just gonna. Privatize it and that

40:01

these fucking sociopaths that run these

40:04

corporations Will deliberately withhold

40:06

it and let people die of thirst

40:09

Just because it will up the value the way

40:11

Rolex doesn't make as many watches so they seem

40:13

rare the way baseball cards They

40:15

didn't print as many So

40:18

they would have a higher value like they're fucking

40:20

evil. I Worry that

40:22

politicians are just going to continue to be paid off

40:24

by them and not do shit and just look out

40:27

for themselves I worried

40:29

that people are still gonna watch 24-hour news

40:31

networks and really think that the other side

40:33

is 100% wrong all the time

40:35

and they got to keep us fucking yelling at each other

40:38

Rather than all of us just stopping and

40:40

looking at 15 to 20 assholes and suits

40:42

that just can't have enough fucking marbles That

40:47

really wasn't the question what is what is Getting

40:51

paralyzed That's

40:54

a fear of mine Get

40:56

eaten by a shark. That's an irrational

40:58

fear alligator Don't

41:02

have as big a fear with Lines

41:05

or Tigers because I just know you know

41:07

mountain lions. I just know it's over quick You

41:10

know I that's that is the animal of choice if

41:12

you're gonna get killed by an animal you got to

41:14

go You don't want a canine

41:16

because it's gonna be more than one. They're gonna rip you

41:18

apart a bear is gonna maul you I

41:25

Don't think a poisonous snake is that bad It's

41:28

fucking terrifying But after

41:31

it bites you I mean that's sort of like you know

41:34

the deaths you just Shallow

41:37

breathing and you just pass out, but the big

41:39

cats are the best They're

41:41

very nice about it. They just come in fucking

41:43

knock you to the ground grab you by the

41:45

throat. You're out in two seconds Yeah,

41:51

a lot of them are actually Animal-based

41:53

I used to have a lot of aviation fears

41:56

and then once I got my

41:58

license And

42:01

I, you know, going from my instrument rating and

42:04

then actually starting to understand everything that's going on

42:06

up there is pretty

42:08

amazing. However, all of that shit

42:10

that's going on at Boeing is

42:13

fucking terrifying and just watching them

42:15

not really talking about it. It's

42:17

just, it's, it's, I always

42:19

use that guy who did like the hands,

42:21

remember the guy who hoarded the hand sanitizer,

42:24

Tizer before the pandemic, like

42:26

the level that they went after that guy and

42:28

Tardan fettered that guy because

42:31

he was an individual and he didn't have any

42:33

money and he didn't have any influence. And,

42:36

and, and he was a great, like

42:38

soft target for, for journalists

42:40

to act like that they're looking out for

42:42

American people. And then

42:44

they just look the other way when all of these,

42:46

these, these bigger companies, you

42:49

know, these companies that every year just

42:52

pay a fine for

42:55

polluting the environment because it's cheaper than

42:57

them actually doing something for

43:00

their fellow Americans. I mean, it's just, I don't know. I don't get

43:02

in all of this shit. I try to stay

43:04

away from this stuff. This is why I, you

43:08

know, have the hobbies I do because yeah. All

43:10

right. Irrational fears. Well,

43:12

I would say, yeah, sharks, alligators, alligators, man. Every time I

43:14

go to Florida, man, I'm fucking, there's like

43:17

any, I see, I see a puddle and I'm like, there's,

43:19

there's, there's a little alligator in there and it's going to

43:21

bite my toe off. Like there's

43:23

just something about reptiles, man. I'm fucking terrified of

43:25

this. Getting getting mauled to death by

43:28

a bear is another one. You

43:32

know, and I don't think any

43:34

of my fears towards my kids are irrational. I

43:37

would much rather be

43:40

over correcting and

43:42

being that person. Like, you know, this is sort

43:44

of this big pushback now, but the old school

43:46

parents and let your kid break their fucking arm.

43:48

It's just like not everything that happened when we

43:50

were growing up was great. All

43:53

right. Bill to abolish the

43:56

federal bill to abolish federal reserve. Oh,

43:58

here we go with this. Dear

44:00

Carrotcock Bill, I

44:05

saw an article I thought you would

44:07

like to hear about. Congressman Thomas Massey

44:10

from Kentucky. I love

44:12

Kentucky. I love that whole area. Kentucky, Tennessee

44:15

is fucking gorgeous. Recently

44:17

reintroduced a bill that would abolish the Federal Reserve

44:19

and put us back on the gold standard. There

44:21

we go. Maybe there's still some

44:24

hope for the country. I don't know much about it,

44:26

but here is the article. Anyways, love

44:28

the podcast and the comedy. Well, God

44:30

bless that guy. I

44:34

think it would be great for everybody, including

44:38

super rich people. I

44:40

don't know why anybody would be against it.

44:42

Let's fucking have the dollar

44:44

mean something. It's

44:48

just a really weird topic. I have no problem being

44:51

under the thumb of somebody. I'm not smart

44:53

enough to run shit, but there is a

44:55

certain level of greed. You're just going too

44:57

far and that always causes a fucking revolution.

45:00

Don't do that. You

45:02

can still have your Coke and your horse and your

45:04

yachts. Just don't have to have 50 of

45:07

them. There's a

45:09

balance. That's all. That's

45:11

all there is. I'm fucking ... Hey,

45:15

I saw this. There's a whole bunch of

45:17

fucking self-driving cars coming out. It's

45:20

unbelievable to me, but the way most people drive,

45:23

most people need them. You know what's

45:25

funny? There should be a shame

45:27

to that. After

45:30

all of these years of all of us drivers

45:32

bitching about how everybody sucks at driving, they

45:35

should secretly film you. If

45:39

you're a fucking asshole or you

45:41

drive like an idiot or you just don't know how to

45:43

parallel park or whatever, they go, that's it. That's

45:46

it. You lose your driving. You have a

45:48

self-driving car for a year. Now, you

45:50

can go to driving school and re-educate

45:52

yourself or upgrade your

45:54

thing. It should be like that. I

46:00

don't know, it's pretty wild. It's becoming like

46:02

planes. Like planes are basically fly

46:04

themselves, like right after takeoff. They have

46:06

like an instrument flight plan. They plug

46:09

it in to

46:11

the avionics and they hit enter. And then

46:13

when they, you know, the

46:15

second, I think they hand them off to departure.

46:19

I think they just push the button and then that's it. They

46:21

just sit there with their hands in their laps and

46:24

they just go to each fix and the plane turns

46:26

15 degrees that way, 30 degrees the other way

46:29

or whatever. It's pretty amazing. Anyway,

46:34

here's a question. Should I date a stripper?

46:39

All right, this is difficult because I

46:41

don't know how old you are. Hey,

46:45

Billy Beetle Dick. Hehehehehehehehe.

46:54

Cause it's tiny, not cause it's black.

46:57

That's funny. Billy Beetle Dick cause it's

46:59

tiny, not cause it's black. All

47:01

right, Bill, first I need you to know that

47:03

I am a huge fan of the podcast and

47:05

of you. Well, thank you. I've been following you

47:07

for the past 10 years and you have never,

47:10

you never failed to make me laugh. You deserve

47:12

all the success. Well, if you've been listening to

47:14

it for years, there's always one topic that gets

47:16

me going. And right now it's the fucking you

47:18

stole home court advantage. I

47:21

just, you know what I really have to do? I just have to be

47:23

mature and just realize that people aren't going to see it the way that

47:25

I see it. And I just have to fucking let

47:27

go of it. Cause it's not even that people believe

47:33

the home court advantage is that I can't convince them

47:35

of my point. Maybe

47:39

the athlete thing would bring a few people my

47:42

way. I cause I

47:44

can tell you that right now, you know? That,

47:46

you know, killing in front

47:48

of a crowd is one

47:50

thing. But when you get the right table of

47:52

people that are cunts, pissing them off, there's nothing

47:55

fucking better than that. And you don't give a

47:57

shit about silence at that

47:59

point. Anyway,

48:04

this person says, now here's what I'd like

48:07

your advice on. I recently returned from a

48:10

six month trip in Asia. Oh

48:12

my God, that must have been amazing. I

48:15

was there for work and had an absolute

48:17

blast traveling around, met some

48:19

great people, including some ladies and enjoyed every

48:21

second. How great was the food over there?

48:25

Because the end of my trip I visited Thailand

48:29

and the boys and I went out, oh

48:31

I saw, and the boys, I saw Thailand

48:33

and the boys, I was like, oh Jesus,

48:35

there's no comment. Thailand and

48:37

the boys and I went out on an

48:40

evening on the town. You

48:44

know in India there's a Royal Enfield

48:46

motorcycle trip that you can take and

48:49

I don't know.

48:53

I don't know where it goes, but that

48:55

sounds amazing. Anyway, this person says, we ended

48:57

up at a Thai strip

48:59

club where we each

49:01

lived like kings into the early

49:04

hours of the morning. I

49:06

met this Thai stripper and we immediately

49:08

connected as much as you can

49:10

connect with the stripper, I suppose. You might

49:12

want to watch the second season of White

49:14

Lotus to give you some advice here. We

49:17

spent the entire time at the strip club

49:19

making out. Yeah. Wow.

49:23

Wow. Wow. You

49:33

made out with a stripper on the other side

49:36

of the world? Wow.

49:40

Jesus Christ. Are

49:44

you out of your fucking mind? Jesus

49:49

fucking Christ. You

49:55

brought that mouth back to the United States?

49:59

Oh my God. You know like

50:01

when you go to New Zealand and you can't

50:03

bring any fruit in, they should ask you, did

50:05

you make out with a stripper in another country?

50:07

Yeah, you're in quarantine. Come

50:11

back with fucking mouth aches. We

50:15

spent the entire time at the strip club making out.

50:17

Let me make sure this is a stripper. I'm at

50:19

this time it was a stripper. Yes.

50:23

You made out with a stripper. Okay.

50:28

Oh my God. Oh

50:32

my God. And

50:34

doing other debaucherous acts to each other

50:36

just short of sticking it in her.

50:39

We had a private room. Oh

50:42

my God, dude. Are

50:44

you out of your fucking mind? Are

50:47

you out of your fucking mind? At

50:52

the end of the night I took her home and

50:54

we banged. Dude,

50:58

please tell me, you fucking wore a

51:00

condom. She gave me her Instagram

51:02

and asked if we could hang out during

51:05

her day off on Sunday, but sadly I

51:07

was leaving the next morning so I couldn't

51:09

make that happen. Well

51:12

I'm sure she had another guy over there the next

51:14

night. I told

51:16

her I wanted to see her again and she said, come

51:20

back to Thailand. Should

51:23

I do this? Dude, I swear

51:25

to God, if nothing has fallen off

51:27

your body yet and

51:30

if you didn't get some sort of fucking ass

51:32

flu fever, just count

51:35

this as a fucking, a win.

51:40

The trip back would be expensive as

51:43

I live in the US. She is

51:45

gorgeous, beautiful body and skin, huge tits,

51:48

fuck me eyes, fuck

51:50

me eyes and perfect face, but

51:53

she is also a stripper. I'm not naive. She

51:58

could have just been tapping. to get more

52:00

business in the future, but part of me

52:03

just wants to see her again. Yeah,

52:05

dude, you know what you need to do? You

52:07

need to just stay away for a while, and

52:09

you got to get back into your rational brain.

52:11

You're still thinking with the little head down there.

52:14

I also know that if I do go back

52:16

and fall in love with her, I will descend

52:18

into the darkest pits of depression as she is

52:21

a stripper and unlikely to give up

52:23

her life for me, or is there a

52:25

chance? Buddy,

52:28

you couldn't go over there and meet an

52:30

accountant? You couldn't

52:32

make out with a regular fucking Thai

52:36

woman who wasn't in sex

52:38

trafficking? You out of your fucking mind? Come

52:41

on, dude, you know, you're fucking with me. You

52:43

know what? I'm calling bullshit. I think sometimes you guys write

52:45

in and you just make up shit. There's no fucking way.

52:48

For context, I'm a

52:51

pretty experienced guy with the ladies.

52:54

No, you're not. Well,

52:56

you haven't learned anything. In my

52:59

late 20s, and had several serious relationships and

53:01

many other hookups along the way, I have

53:03

a great... What

53:05

are you experienced in being in a relationship?

53:10

I have a great, extremely well-paying and

53:12

powerful job, and I'm pretty good

53:14

looking, so I hear. So it's not

53:17

a total impossibility for me

53:19

to pull her away to

53:21

a life of decency. Maybe I'm crazy. Yes,

53:23

you are. I get it, dude. I get

53:25

it. I get it. You went to the

53:27

other side of the world. You've never seen

53:30

a woman look like that before. She fucked

53:32

her brains out. You're in this exotic place.

53:34

She's exotic. You're eating all this food. She's

53:36

treating you like a king. American chicks don't

53:38

treat me like this. Fine,

53:41

dude. You want to marry a Thailand chick?

53:43

Go to Thailand and meet a fucking civilian.

53:45

Don't marry a stripper. All

53:48

right. But

53:52

I also hear your voice in my head saying,

53:54

that ain't the mother of your children, but damn,

53:56

I'd like to... I'd really

53:58

like to head back there for three years. three weeks

54:00

and see her again. Would love to know

54:02

your thoughts and those are the lovely Nia,

54:04

if possible. Yeah, you'll be there for three

54:07

weeks and when she's not with you, she's

54:09

there fucking in a

54:11

back room doing something with somebody

54:13

else. What are you doing, dude? Come on, this can't

54:15

be real. My best to you and your family and

54:17

go fuck yourself. Sorry, dude. If

54:20

that was real, I gave you the tough love you deserved. What

54:22

you need to do is you need

54:24

to come back here and come back to

54:26

fucking reality. Because what happened over there was

54:28

not reality. Okay, that was a

54:30

paid fantasy, okay? And she was

54:33

just working you. I'm sorry, that's what was going

54:35

on. All right? There's

54:38

plenty of fucking decent

54:40

women over there and over here,

54:43

you know? Yeah,

54:46

stay away. Okay, all right.

54:48

Good read. Hello, Bill. Have you had

54:51

a chance to read the book, Chicken

54:53

Hawk, written by

54:55

Robert Mason? I've only started

54:57

reading it and it reminded me of

55:00

how you described your time flying.

55:02

Robert was a chopper pilot during the

55:04

Vietnam War. I asked a mate

55:06

that is a pilot for the Australian

55:09

Army. It says

55:11

AUS Army. Is that Austria or Australia?

55:13

I don't know. And he said

55:15

it's recommended reading for all pilots and it's his favorite

55:17

book that he has read many times over. Would love

55:19

to hear your opinion if you ever get a chance

55:22

to read it. Cheers.

55:26

Cunt Matt from Australia. Well,

55:29

I'll tell you, Cunt Matt. I read a

55:32

book about a guy that flew helicopters in Vietnam. I

55:34

can't remember what the name of it was, but I

55:36

will tell you this. Flying

55:41

is this amazing thing,

55:44

but in the back of your head, you always

55:46

are thinking, where am I gonna put it? Which

55:48

way is the wind coming from? Like whenever I

55:51

solo or have like a passenger, like

55:53

I don't really even enjoy it. I'm

55:56

enjoying it, but I'm not because the entire, it's like riding

55:58

a motorcycle. It looks fucking cool. until you do it.

56:00

Then you do it the whole time head on a swivel,

56:02

head on a swivel, like where are they

56:05

coming from, what could possibly happen, I'm at a stoplight,

56:07

look in the rear of your mirrors, make sure somebody

56:09

doesn't come up and rear end me, da da da

56:11

da da da da. So it's not really, you know,

56:14

what you think, but it's still this

56:16

fucking amazing thing but like just the

56:18

idea of people shooting at me. Like

56:22

there's all of that. It's still awesome. I probably

56:24

described it too negatively. I

56:26

absolutely love it. But there

56:28

is that part of you that you can't

56:30

100% enjoy flying when you're the one doing

56:32

it because it's

56:35

on you if something happens. So

56:38

I, you know, so the just the

56:40

pressure of that alone, I can't fucking

56:43

imagine. You

56:46

know, those guys would go in there and

56:48

they'd be like barely a clearing or they

56:50

would clear the fucking area to pick people

56:52

up that were being fired upon in the

56:55

jungle and they would clear the area with

56:57

the fucking main rotor blades. It was unbelievable.

56:59

I'll definitely check that out. All

57:01

right. Hey guys, you know what? I'm

57:04

I give up on the home court advantage. You

57:06

guys are 100% right. I don't I don't like

57:09

losing my shit over fucking mindless stuff. All

57:11

right, I still do it, but I'm at least evolved

57:14

at left now to realize how fucking stupid that

57:16

is. I don't give a fuck. Okay, I don't

57:18

believe in it. You do. Some people believe in

57:21

Jesus. I don't, I don't I've traveled the world.

57:24

Everybody draws them different. I mean,

57:26

sometimes he looks Puerto Rican. Sometimes he looks he

57:28

works on the fucking E network. Sometimes he's even

57:30

whiter than I am. You know, it's just none

57:32

of it makes any sense. I

57:34

don't give a fuck if you want to believe in that

57:36

shit, believe in that shit, put somebody on a pitch count.

57:38

You know, if you want your fucking head coach, your football

57:41

team to look like he's on the math team, by all

57:43

means do it. If you want to go down the lane

57:45

with nobody there and you want to dunk on nobody and

57:47

then, you know, fucking sit there and pull

57:49

your jersey to expose your heart to show me what

57:51

a warrior you you are. And it's the fucking second

57:54

quarter. And you're fucking up by eight. You want to

57:56

do that? Go ahead. Go ahead and do that. I

57:58

don't give a fuck. I am Actually you do.

58:00

You wanna hit a home run and stand there and

58:02

look at it and then point to the dugout and

58:04

fucking do you little stupid shit when you get to

58:07

second base. I don't give a fuck. All

58:09

right, I'm watching golf now. I'm

58:12

reading a newspaper. I'm withdrawing. You

58:16

know when somebody like leaves the campaign? I think that that's

58:18

what I'm doing at this point. There is a point when

58:22

you get to a certain age, you just can't be around

58:24

young people anymore. Okay, because all you're gonna do is ruin

58:26

their good time. And all

58:28

they're gonna do is remind you that everything changed and you're

58:30

gonna feel like it's not for the better. So what you

58:32

really need to do is you just sort of just sit

58:35

in the back, you know, like you know

58:37

the old people that get it? They're

58:39

just sitting in the corner, you look at them, how you doing

58:41

Nana? And she just sort of smiles and waves. In

58:43

her head she's like, what the fuck are they doing? That's

58:47

not how the recipe goes. All right, that's it. Go fuck

58:49

yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday.