2:00

off to women because he's

2:02

trying to be cool because

2:04

he's embarrassed. That's what she

2:06

said. And

2:11

I was like, you know, I don't

2:13

know. I mean, I

2:15

think you I don't think you quite

2:17

understand what a vigilant vigilante is, but

2:19

you definitely understand a certain

2:21

type of person that's a

2:23

guy, a male, or whatever. Did I crack

2:26

my fucking screen in my phone? Oh

2:29

well. Inhale, exhale,

2:32

smile. See, it's

2:34

over. I've been doing that, man. I'm

2:36

rewiring my brain to

2:39

fucking not flip out about that type

2:42

of shit.

2:45

Anyway, so I did watch the US Open. Good

2:48

Lord. Can somebody just, you know, win a

2:51

major without some sort of heartbreak? There's always

2:53

some sort of heartbreak. Shout

2:55

out to Rory McIlroy, man. What

2:57

was it? Bryson DeChambeau was a

3:00

head by a stroke. And

3:05

what happened? I don't think

3:09

he bogied. Rory just came

3:11

pouring on birdied three out of

3:13

four holes, like nine,

3:15

ten, and twelve. And

3:18

then DeChambeau bogied and all of

3:20

a sudden Rory went

3:22

from down one to like up,

3:26

he was up two, I

3:28

believe. It was like eight under to

3:30

six under. And then

3:32

he unfortunately missed a

3:35

three-footer and a three and a half footer on

3:37

17 and 18. And

3:41

when he missed the one on 18 to go down

3:45

a stroke on a major, like

3:47

that wasn't devastating enough. Like

3:49

ten assholes in the crowd started

3:52

chanting USA USA. It's

4:00

like, first of all, like, like

4:04

what are you chanting USA for? Like,

4:06

they're playing fucking Hawk, it's

4:08

golf. There's

4:10

no countries in golf. Fuck that stupid

4:12

skins game. Whatever the hell it is, Davis

4:15

Cup. Whatever the hell

4:17

they call that. Who

4:19

gets patriotic over a group of Americans

4:21

going up against another

4:24

country in golf? So

4:27

dumb. It's so

4:29

dumb. I'm putting in like the

4:31

Olympic energy to that. I think that's really stupid. And then also

4:33

who has a problem with fucking Ireland? England,

4:38

the biggest fucking cunts on the planet. There

4:40

you go. Other than that, right? So,

4:43

I don't know.

4:45

I was happy to

4:47

Shambo. I'm almost saying his name. I'm new to golf.

4:49

Bryson DeShambo won. I was really happy for him. I

4:51

was happy with either one of them winning it. You

4:54

know, cause Rory I know is going through a divorce.

4:56

So like, you know, I could feel his ex-wife spite

4:59

the entire time he was there. So I was hoping

5:01

he was going to win it, but

5:03

unfortunately it didn't

5:05

happen. And was it me or was

5:07

the color commentator kind

5:09

of being like really harsh with the criticism

5:12

or is he the greatest golfer of all

5:14

time? He would

5:16

just be like, yeah, that's not a good shot. That was

5:18

not a good shot. Like a guy like halfway down the

5:20

fairway out of a trap goes

5:22

just to the right of the green. You

5:25

know, he definitely wanted more out of this shot. Like

5:27

that couldn't be, it's like, that was

5:29

kind of a fucking great shot from

5:32

that lie, right? Look

5:34

at me talking the fucking jargon over

5:36

here from that lie. What

5:40

about the rough? That rough was

5:43

rough at Pinehurst. That

5:46

fucking Dr. Seuss looking grass. They

5:49

should have been like digging for clams. It was

5:51

like literally looked like, I

5:54

can't remember where, but I was on a beach one time in

5:58

the morning overcast, Ginger. Right?

6:01

Speaking of which, I went to a dermatologist,

6:04

you know, my wife saw me like, looking, oh,

6:06

what is this? You got to get this

6:08

checked out or whatever. So I went there, you know, no

6:11

skin cancer, thank God. They're just like, oh, those are normal.

6:13

Those are liver spots. And I'm like, what the fuck? Why

6:16

do I have a liver spot on my arm? Why?

6:21

Why wouldn't it be on my fucking

6:23

liver? I

6:29

haven't drank in almost six years. Whatever.

6:32

Anyway, speaking of that shit, oh, Billy, oh, Billy's in

6:35

the bubble. Oh, Billy's in

6:37

the bubble, baby. I'm getting ready to

6:39

do my special. I'm so frigging excited.

6:43

I got that big Tom Brady event behind me

6:45

that was way bigger than me doing another dumb

6:47

special. So I, you know, feel

6:50

great, hit a home run on that thing. And

6:53

the special is just going to be fun.

6:55

But now I'm like really like seriously. You

6:59

know, I know you guys knew I was doing like, you know,

7:02

my calisthenics and my toe touches,

7:04

right? I had that band around

7:06

my belly and I turned and flipped the switch.

7:08

I'm going to go, remember that shit? They

7:12

thought that that would get rid of your, your

7:14

belly fat. Just

7:17

making it jiggle or whatever. It was

7:19

like stomach twerking. Wait

7:22

a minute. Did black

7:24

people take twerking from white people with

7:28

their big white guts back in the day? Hmm.

7:31

There's a couple of those things I wonder

7:33

about, you know, the gay pride flag. Did

7:36

they take that from Deadhead's t-shirts? It's

7:39

the exact same colors. I

7:42

don't know. You ever think of being

7:44

a little more original gay people? No.

7:49

Anyway, so I've I've even

7:51

cut dairy out. I'm

7:54

just down to protein, vegetables

7:56

and copious amounts of water.

8:00

is what I'm doing. Hopefully, fresh face trying

8:02

to come limping in over the

8:04

finish line at 56 years of

8:07

age. And

8:11

speaking of 56, I was watching

8:14

some Lawrence Taylor highlights. To

8:19

me, that's the greatest football player I ever saw.

8:22

He had it all. He was like

8:25

a superhero. He completely changed the position.

8:28

And did anybody look better in a uniform

8:30

than that guy when the Giants were their

8:32

whites? You know, when

8:34

they had that blue helmet that said Giants on

8:36

the side in the white face mask with

8:39

Lawrence Taylor. See,

8:43

with my skin tone, I would look

8:45

sickly. His skin tone with that white

8:47

face mask, like nobody ever looked cooler.

8:49

I still remember the first time him

8:51

breaking out as a superstar. I want

8:53

to. It was a nationally televised game.

8:56

I think it was. Thanksgiving,

9:00

I don't know what it was, but whatever team it

9:02

was, the Lions or whatever, they were down on the

9:04

goal line. And

9:07

he intercepted this pass. They

9:10

threw it out in the flat, I believe he intercepted

9:12

it and just took off running. And

9:14

he was faster than any cornerback. You know, back in

9:16

the day, I'm not gonna lie to you. When a

9:18

linebacker intercepted a ball, you

9:21

know, he would get, you know, 20, 30 yards and

9:23

then get run down by a receiver or running back

9:25

or something like that, or maybe even a lineman. But

9:28

down lineman intercepted it. He'd run two

9:30

feet and get tackled. And

9:32

then Lawrence Taylor in a corner, it was the only one you

9:34

had or a safety was the only one they had a chance

9:37

of like. Taking

9:39

a pick six all the way if you were on the

9:41

other side of the field, they were just

9:43

too fucking slow. And that guy came along and

9:46

was as fast, it seemed, as any wide receiver

9:48

out there. Maybe he'd

9:51

already like started to establish himself as one

9:53

of the best linebackers in the league and

9:55

then he did that. I remember John Madden

9:57

going on and on and on. about

10:00

how amazing he was and all the stuff he

10:02

was doing to disrupt the play of

10:04

whoever the hell they were playing disrupt

10:07

the play of whoever

10:09

they were playing uh...

10:13

anyway what i want to talk about the motor

10:15

gp race got canceled this weekend rescheduled i should

10:17

say re scheduled

10:21

uh... i mean

10:23

my car here to this is this is what kind of

10:25

a day i have here on jesus uh...

10:27

to get out of it and i was getting fuckin hot and

10:30

i sit here on the god damn sidewalk

10:35

on the curb here like a god damn farm uh...

10:41

so anyway and the motor gp got canceled

10:44

uh... rescheduled i should say and uh... i

10:49

had this crazy thought you know because

10:51

i've been kind of paying attention to like uh... practice

10:54

in my french as always and

10:56

uh... so i got uh...

10:59

i might have some shows coming up there uh...

11:03

we're trying to put something together in a small place

11:05

and the goal is i want to do my act

11:07

and then speak french to the crowd in between so

11:10

i sort of baby step my way into becoming

11:12

uh... fluent on stage so

11:15

uh... they just had their elections over there

11:17

in france and a bunch of uh... conservatives

11:19

got in like far right so the left

11:21

is like freaking out and blah blah blah

11:25

and uh... it's

11:27

just kinda weird man like it's almost like weather

11:30

when you look at like these elections well

11:33

like if you if if

11:35

a low-pressure system is next to a

11:37

high-pressure high-pressure goes to low pressure that's

11:40

what wind is and and bigger the

11:42

difference the faster the

11:45

wind moves right so

11:47

uh... the air moves and

11:49

uh... i'm kinda looking at like this uh... like

11:54

these elections and stuff and it's just like you know people

11:56

like here a low looking on my god like

11:59

how does this guy you know,

12:02

like how does Donald Trump make sense to

12:05

these people? He's clearly, you know, yeah,

12:07

because he's going like, you know, January 6th, it

12:10

was a loving event, everyone had a

12:12

good time. He's just completely just redefining it

12:14

and they're all like, yeah, you know.

12:18

And what it is, is what

12:21

needs to happen, I'm telling you, is we all have

12:23

to have empathy and listen to either side. Because

12:26

as much

12:28

as that guy sounds to the left, like all

12:30

of this extreme shit on the right, that

12:34

some dude with a beard is like, you gotta call

12:36

me, you know, by

12:38

these pronouns. You have to understand that people in the

12:40

middle of nowhere, like

12:42

that's like, they're not ready

12:44

for that. That's as nuts

12:47

to them as Trump is to

12:49

us. So if you're

12:51

gonna be doing that, like you gotta like

12:54

baby step our ways. We

12:56

gotta get back to the middle, everybody's what I'm saying, right?

12:58

You know, back in the day, I remember like, you

13:01

know, I'm weird. Like I used to be on the right,

13:03

then I was on the left and I'm kinda like,

13:05

I'm kinda sit here in the middle, I'm just waiting

13:07

for somebody to fucking make sense. And

13:09

not scare the shit out of me and that

13:12

hasn't happened in a while on either side. So I'm

13:14

kinda thinking like, you know, I don't

13:17

think it's gonna happen. I mean, we're gonna have these

13:20

two fucking old nitwits again over here. So I guess

13:22

over in Europe, like the same thing is happening. That

13:29

it's never good when one side or

13:31

the other is really making a hardcore

13:33

push for their agenda. And

13:36

they're in this mindset of like, you

13:38

have to do this, cuz this is

13:41

where it's gonna be, or there's gonna

13:43

be consequences. You do that, the other side, the

13:45

left or the right is just gonna push back

13:48

and then you get into these fucking

13:51

crazy errors. And

13:53

next thing you know, there's a war. So

13:57

why doesn't everybody fucking relax and everybody just, why

13:59

don't we all. Lakers,

16:01

the Fakers, saying they have fucking

16:03

the Los Angeles Lakers have 17. No,

16:05

you don't. You don't. The Minneapolis slash

16:09

Los Angeles Lakers have 17. Okay? Like,

16:12

Laker fans, what would you do if fucking

16:15

the Lakers moved to Vegas next year, won

16:17

a title, and then everybody in Vegas was

16:19

going, we have 18. I think you get

16:21

a little upset. I think you get so

16:23

upset we could actually see your fucking forehead

16:26

move again. Huh? Maybe mush around, you

16:28

know, some of that Botox. The

16:32

fuck is people, what are they doing? Walking

16:36

around, injecting whatever that shit

16:38

is into your face. You're

16:43

out of your fucking mind. I do

16:48

find that funny though. People, you know, freak

16:50

out about, I'm not gonna take this, I'm not gonna take

16:52

that if the government says you gotta take it, but then

16:54

they'll, you know, it's my choice,

16:56

my choice to fucking shoot these fucking chemicals

16:58

in my face or take testosterone. That's my

17:01

other favorite one. It's totally

17:03

natural for your testosterone to drop off and now

17:05

people are taking it to make sure that it

17:07

doesn't. And it's just like, alright

17:09

there, guinea pig, we'll see what happens. Good

17:12

luck to you, we'll see you on the other side. You

17:14

know, I think it's gonna lead, I'm gonna, it's

17:16

gonna lead to like, you know, the PGA has

17:18

like a seniors, the

17:22

seniors tour. They're gonna have that with like fighters.

17:24

They're just gonna have to do something with

17:26

all that testosterone pumping through their veins and

17:29

they can't fight somebody young because they'll get the shit kicked

17:31

out of them, but then I just think they're gonna, they're

17:33

like fight each other. You had bum fights,

17:36

right? This would be like, I don't know,

17:38

what would you call? What do

17:40

you call it? What's a derogatory term

17:44

for old people? You

17:46

old coot. It's

17:49

really not a good one. Is

17:52

there a word that you can call an old person? Like

17:57

old people in general. I mean call somebody an old

17:59

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29:01

right, what do we got now? All

29:04

right, this is people writing in here, things

29:06

we didn't ask for. Hey Bill,

29:09

I really appreciate your takes over the last 15

29:11

years. You're batting

29:13

almost 900 in my book when it comes to

29:15

all the evil shit that's happening. Yeah, I'm all

29:17

right. You know, I've

29:20

done pretty good for myself. That

29:22

whole one world currency and government thing to

29:24

make sure we have less to say about

29:26

our lives is happening every day, but no

29:28

one seems to care. Yeah,

29:31

I know people care that they're just silenced

29:33

and called crazy people and the rest of

29:35

people are taking payoffs or they're part of

29:37

it. Or they just in

29:39

the dark and they don't know. For example, we're

29:42

being forced to have all our technology integrated with

29:44

AI. There are

29:46

a million things to complain or worry about

29:48

here, but I'll pick one. The fact that

29:51

AI makes decisions for us changes the whole

29:53

point of picking up a tool. If

29:55

I picked up a hammer and it constantly guided

29:57

me in a direction of use.

30:00

it would essentially control me. The

30:03

algorithm is an early version of this.

30:07

Yeah, but you can fuck with the algorithm, can't you? Like,

30:11

I remember I would go on Netflix, and

30:13

if I remember, I watched, I always talk

30:15

about this, I watched one of those narco

30:17

seasons, and then everything was about narcos and

30:19

behind the scenes in prisons. So then I

30:21

just watched Japanese anime, just

30:23

to fuck with it, to flip it around.

30:26

But the

30:28

weird thing about people in power and

30:30

people having money is they're incredibly paranoid

30:33

and fearful that it's

30:35

all gonna go away. Are they gonna

30:37

be figured out or anything? So they

30:39

need like a ridiculous, unhealthy level of

30:42

control. They're all, they're fucking sick people. They

30:45

really are sick people, but they have the

30:47

money. So all these watchdog

30:49

people, you know, they keep

30:51

their fucking mouth shut, and

30:53

then they just go after dumb ass shit. You

30:56

know what I mean? Like a standup comedian who does a

30:58

show in Berkeley, and you write half my joke and

31:01

make it seem like I trashed liberals when I

31:03

was really baiting conservatives so I could say that

31:05

I hated both sides. And then you leave all

31:07

of that out there so you can fucking put

31:09

it into your fucking, whatever your

31:11

bullshit is in your newspaper. That's one of

31:14

the coolest things about just being in the

31:16

public eye a little bit is that's when

31:18

you just realize all of these newspapers are

31:20

just lying their fucking asses off, and they're

31:22

spinning everything to whatever their ideology

31:25

is, the left and the

31:27

right. Great

31:29

example of that was last week, a couple weeks

31:32

ago when I did a show, and I trashed

31:34

both liberals and conservatives, and conservative papers picked it

31:36

up, and all they talked about was when I

31:38

trashed liberals. Is

31:40

that reporting? I don't think it is. I

31:42

don't think it is. Anyways, this person says,

31:44

"'My kids' lives are going to be nothing

31:46

like mine. "'Granted my

31:48

childhood was different "'than my parents and

31:51

grandparents. "'The difference now is beyond understanding.

31:53

"'If a tech company wants to add

31:55

AI to their shit, "'that's their business,

31:58

"'but now our military and government service

32:00

are talking about integrating it in huge

32:02

ways. OK,

32:06

OK, so I like that. That's a

32:09

that's usual thing. So we now have something to

32:12

be paranoid about. And there's is there any way

32:14

to organize people to say we don't want that

32:16

stuff? You

32:18

know, I don't

32:21

know. It's weird. I

32:24

don't understand those people like why? What are

32:26

they so afraid of people making their own decisions?

32:28

Why are they afraid of people just living

32:30

their fucking lives? I don't understand it. Why does

32:33

everything have to be rammed down your throat

32:35

or secretly, you know, some

32:37

backdoor shit? And my

32:39

favorite thing is incognito mode.

32:43

Like, oh, you don't know that I'm on

32:46

this porn website because I'm in incognito mode.

32:48

It's like, are you out of your that's

32:51

just to make you feel better. There's definitely

32:53

they're watching every fucking thing that you're doing.

32:56

The end of the day, if you don't cause a

32:58

revolution, it no one's going to care.

33:01

But if you become a fucking problem,

33:03

then they'll use all of that

33:06

shit against you. Well, I don't know what the fuck

33:08

they're going to do. US guidelines for food and drug

33:10

stink. Wilfred the

33:12

Wise, thank you for always railing against the

33:14

food companies. I just saw a clip going

33:16

around where you talk about them poisoning the

33:19

food supply and there were tens

33:21

of thousands of views and so many comments about

33:23

how you're the only one who talks about this

33:25

stuff publicly all the time. So

33:27

did you hear that Italy banned

33:29

fake meat? You know,

33:31

that processed stuff that is nothing like meat at

33:33

all, that is cheaper to make sure to

33:36

make ensure surely lacking the proper minerals

33:38

and nutrients found in actual meat. Not

33:40

only are we cool with it here

33:43

in the US, we give tax breaks

33:45

to these companies because someone is jerking

33:47

someone else off up there. Yeah, all

33:49

of these. They actually infiltrated the watchdog

33:51

groups. Goes

33:54

back to the Reagan years when they started

33:56

doing that. Hey, man, you don't want government

33:58

in your life. You know what government

34:00

in there telling you what to do? Like

34:03

the government gives a fuck what I'm doing. What it really

34:05

was, was the corporations made

34:07

it seem like the government was going

34:09

to infiltrate our lives. But what they

34:11

really were doing was they were watching

34:14

the corporations, they were sort of putting

34:16

a governor on their level of greed

34:18

and sociopath behavior. And over

34:20

the years, it all got

34:22

deregulated basically from Reagan to

34:24

Clinton. I think Clinton was

34:26

the last one that deregulated something on the banks

34:28

that finally opened the door for 2008 to happen.

34:33

And yeah, so all of these,

34:35

you know, the FDA and all of these places

34:37

where they're supposed to be watching us, you know,

34:40

from what I've read, I don't know if it's true

34:42

or not, they basically got infiltrated by

34:45

food companies putting their own people in there to

34:47

push shit through, drug companies and

34:50

all of that. But that's not important. That's

34:53

not important. Let's fucking, let's watch an

34:55

award show and see what this actor

34:57

says about fucking Somalia. All

35:00

right. Where am I? They

35:03

give them tax breaks. Meanwhile,

35:05

they're making it impossible for farmers to

35:08

do their job with every ass backwards

35:10

law that gets passed. The

35:13

other one is osempic. I just heard that

35:15

it is illegal in all other countries except

35:17

Canada. It's wild how fucking stupid we are

35:20

over here. We're not stupid. We're uninformed. And

35:23

they got us battling each other with CNN and

35:25

Fox News. This is not a good thing. Um,

35:31

these people are crazy, the direction that

35:33

they're sending us in. It's

35:35

almost like none of these people making

35:37

these decisions care about us. Who would

35:39

have thought? Um,

35:43

well, I mean, I just think it's so fucking corrupt at this

35:45

point. How do you, and

35:47

the momentum is going so far. I

35:50

don't, I don't, I don't have any, you

35:52

know, that's why, you know, they have the

35:54

Celtics first to maps tonight. A

35:57

little bread and circus for you. All

35:59

right. buying my husband a $6,000

36:01

wedding gift. Oh,

36:04

whoa. Unless

36:08

you guys are in the Illuminati, what is this purse

36:10

trying to do? Hi Bill, my fiance and I are

36:12

huge fans and he especially loves listening

36:14

to your podcast. I'll cut to the chase. We've

36:17

been together for eight years and getting married this

36:19

fall. He loves watches and I've been really excited

36:21

to surprise him with one for the wedding.

36:25

This would be more money than I've spent

36:27

on anything other than my house and

36:30

I've been saving up for many months. He

36:33

has a wealthy groomsman that has always

36:35

loved to flaunt his money and is

36:37

always getting him expensive gifts for birthdays

36:39

or life events. Parentheses

36:42

when he bought his house. Wait,

36:46

he bought your fiance a house? Anyway,

36:49

he told me the other day that he bought my

36:51

fiance a nearly $6,000 watch as

36:54

a wedding present and I burst into tears

36:56

right in front of my fiance when I

36:58

got the message. I'm so mad

37:01

at myself ruining the

37:03

surprise, but more mad

37:05

that his groomsman thinks this is an

37:07

appropriate wedding gift. I hate that one

37:10

of his friends is buying him the same

37:12

caliber of wedding gift that his wife, me,

37:14

is getting him. I don't

37:16

know why, but I just feel so sick to

37:18

my stomach over it. Do I need to get

37:20

over myself? Is this a normal

37:23

thing to get for a friend if you

37:25

have a lot of money? We

37:27

appreciate any advice, thanks, Bill. No,

37:30

it's totally douchey. That's

37:33

the male version of

37:35

the chick that shows up the wedding and tries to

37:37

look prettier than the fucking bride. You

37:40

know what I mean? And

37:42

shows up with something that is

37:44

really elegant, but also hoary and

37:46

tries to steal focus. The

37:50

only thing I can say in defense of this guy is it

37:52

seems like he does it all the time. At

37:55

least he's generous with his money, but

37:57

there is an outside chance that he doesn't really.

38:01

You know, if he's got a little bit of

38:03

narcissism, he might not realize that this wedding is

38:05

not about him. That

38:08

he should just go up there and just say he's happy for

38:10

the two of you and wish you luck and all of that

38:12

stuff and say that he loves

38:14

you guys and then that's it. Say

38:16

a couple things funny. I

38:20

don't know what you're making a year, but if you're saving up

38:23

that amount of money, you're

38:25

obviously not making what he's making. So he

38:27

must know on some level that what he's

38:30

buying him is going

38:32

to be worth more than you. And

38:35

then why did he have to tell you that? You know what, this guy, he's

38:38

really self-involved. If

38:40

he is a narcissist, what I've learned dealing

38:42

with people like that is you don't take

38:44

what they do personally, you just view them

38:46

as mentally ill, which is what they are.

38:48

So I hate

38:51

to say it. When you burst into tears, if

38:53

he's a narcissist, he probably fucking savored that. Because

38:57

he got a reaction out of you and then he

38:59

gets to act like, what did I do? I

39:02

love my bro. I

39:05

don't think you need to

39:07

get over yourself. I think

39:09

that guy needs to learn

39:12

some sort of etiquette or maybe, I don't

39:14

know, maybe he's gay and maybe

39:16

this is his last Hail Mary. Maybe

39:20

he thinks your husband's a bit of a whore

39:22

and he could buy his affection with a watch.

39:29

I don't know. These things are above my pay grade. But

39:32

if you write in, I will take a guess. I'm

39:35

not trained in any of these areas, but

39:38

I think you were right to

39:41

be upset about it. All right.

39:43

Advice on quitting dream

39:45

job. Hey, Billy Boy,

39:47

I'm in a tough spot. Three years ago at

39:49

26, I quit my day job

39:51

and switched to playing music full time in a

39:53

covered band. It required a ton of downsizing in

39:56

life, but we are finally making a livable wage

39:58

from it. that

40:00

in order to do this nearly every Thursday through

40:02

Saturday I am playing a show. Sometimes

40:05

in order to make enough

40:08

to get by we're playing shows six

40:10

days a week and the summer we

40:12

play weddings which takes up the entire

40:14

weekend. All my free time is during

40:16

the day on weekdays an

40:19

inverted schedule of all my friends and family. I

40:21

found my dream job but I can't stand the

40:24

isolation that comes with the lifestyle. When I quit

40:26

my job I thought I was finally going to

40:28

be living on my terms but

40:30

I feel like the rest of my life outside of playing

40:32

shows is nothing like I want it to be. I'm

40:36

thinking of going back to a more

40:38

regular nine-to-five job and making the gigging

40:40

making gigging a once-in-the-while hobby. Am

40:43

I crazy to have gotten out of the

40:45

rat race only to walk back in? Big

40:47

fan I would really appreciate advice from someone

40:49

like you who I think has weighed similar

40:52

sacrifices in the beginning of your entertainment

40:54

career and maybe even now. Yes,

40:59

that is a fantastic question. But

41:04

unfortunately I have my well, it's not gonna be unfortunate for

41:06

you. I'm just gonna hit stop here. I will answer this

41:09

momentarily in your life in about a fucking hour and

41:11

a half in mine. Alright now

41:13

back here we go. Oh Billy Patchwork

41:16

over here. Alright, so the question was

41:18

you guys remember it? Um Alright,

41:24

there's no reason to go into full-on panic mode

41:26

here. There

41:29

is that weird thing when you go after

41:31

a dream and then your dream becomes a

41:34

job and then the job becomes a grind. It's

41:39

like anything else but the great thing about the job

41:41

you have is you can you can decide when you

41:43

want to work and when you don't want to work.

41:48

I don't think because you don't seem to have a

41:50

social life during the middle of the week that

41:53

that's a reason to go back to the rat race. I

41:58

just think that you need to to be

42:00

hanging out with people that have the

42:02

same schedule as you, which

42:04

I don't think is as rare as you think it is. I

42:10

do remember my first road gig I

42:12

ever did. I was in MATHIS VINYAD

42:15

and I did this gig down there for a

42:17

comedian by the name of Billy Martin, who's now

42:20

like the head showrunner guy over at Bill

42:22

Maher Show. And I

42:28

remember that first night vividly. When I was

42:30

living in the suburbs of Boston and

42:35

I literally drove down to Woods Hole, took the

42:37

boat over, did the

42:39

gigs, slept there that night and then came back.

42:41

But that was the first night on the road

42:44

where I was by myself sleeping

42:47

in a bed that was not

42:49

mine and I was all alone. And

42:51

I do remember thinking like, wow,

42:54

this is crazy. Like I don't know if I

42:58

can do this. Like this is like

43:01

just experiencing that the first time. I

43:03

got over it quick, but

43:06

and then there was other times, you

43:09

know, struggling times, working hard and

43:11

not seeming to get noticed or

43:13

getting screwed over or, you

43:16

know, some unforeseen expense. And you're like, oh my

43:18

God, just when I felt like I

43:20

could relax a little and that, you

43:23

know, because it takes a lot of balls to

43:25

kind of leave the nine to five life. I

43:28

don't know about now, the corporations have

43:30

so decimated it. You

43:33

might as well go take a shot. But listen,

43:36

ultimately, this whole decision is going to have

43:39

to be yours. But I don't think because,

43:41

you know, all my friends are like, you

43:43

know, working Monday

43:46

through Friday. Well, then you got it, you

43:48

know, I'm not saying to

43:50

get rid of those friends, but I basically

43:54

when I became a comedian, then most

43:56

of my friends ended up, my new

43:58

friends were comedians. And

44:00

we hung out at work and all of that type of stuff. And

44:03

then, but I still

44:05

maintained my core group of

44:07

friends. In fact, when I did that

44:09

gig at Gillette and they

44:12

asked for, you know, my

44:14

guest list, you know, anybody

44:17

who wasn't my family, they were all the

44:19

guys I had season tickets with in So

44:22

it was really cool to come back and

44:24

hang with them. So

44:27

I've still been friends with them and

44:30

we have completely different schedules. But I

44:32

don't know. I feel like I'm just

44:34

meandering here because I don't

44:36

know. I don't know what you want to do in the

44:38

music business. There's

44:42

a bunch of different areas you can

44:44

go into. I know like making tracks for

44:46

people for like, you know, background music on

44:48

Instagram and stuff. I would think

44:50

you could make a fucking small fortune doing that if

44:54

you want to get out of the grind of weddings

44:56

and all of that stuff. But I

45:00

would also talk to your bandmates and people

45:02

like that and just ask them, you know,

45:04

how do you deal with Monday through Friday

45:06

when all your friends are working and then

45:08

they're off on the weekend and then you're, you know, I

45:11

don't know, man. Yeah,

45:13

it'll be like up to you. But I want to sit

45:15

here and tell you to fucking give up on your dream.

45:18

Just do whatever the fuck you want to do. But

45:20

like from the outside,

45:22

I don't think like, well, I got nobody

45:24

to hang out with, you know, in the

45:27

fucking week. Go find some somebody's

45:29

got to be doing something. See,

45:32

you're you're a working musician now.

45:34

So now you are in you're

45:36

running with like strippers, comedians, people

45:40

in the restaurant industry. They

45:42

have crazy schedules, you

45:44

know, data waitress. They always

45:47

they're always working weekends and then they

45:49

fucking their Monday, Tuesdays, their Friday and

45:51

Saturday night. I

45:55

have to tell you just like early

45:58

on that was weird to me. And it's

46:01

still special to me that I can do whatever the hell I

46:03

want to do. Well, it's not really true now. I mean, I

46:05

got the wife and kids. But like back in the day that

46:08

like if I wanted to go get

46:10

something to eat or I wanted to go see a movie or

46:13

whatever, you know, during

46:15

the day, those days were mine when they

46:17

used to be somebody else's and

46:19

I had to work on somebody else's dream.

46:21

So I don't know. Just

46:24

follow your heart and you'll

46:26

be fine. All right. I am

46:28

stressing out to do because I have to sit down and watch

46:30

this game. I am going to watch it in real time. A

46:33

buddy of mine just said he's coming by

46:35

to watch it. So you

46:38

know, here we go. Here we go. Just

46:41

get it fucking done, dude.

46:43

All right. That

46:46

is the podcast. I apologize that it

46:48

was so late. I just don't know.

46:51

It was just one of these days yesterday was

46:53

Father's Day. I didn't want to like, you know, fucking do

46:55

a podcast at the end of the night. You

47:00

know, I'm not

47:02

fucking working on Father's Day. Okay. It's

47:05

goddamn my day. By the way, how

47:07

many commercials did you see for Father's Day? Zero?

47:12

Nothing fucking promoting that shit. Did

47:16

they wear special jerseys and MLB? Here's

47:18

your Father's Day home

47:21

jersey. Let

47:23

the dad you know in your life

47:26

versus the dad who actually made your stepfather.

47:29

Let him know how much you appreciate him

47:31

other than your biological father by buying him

47:33

a limited edition Red

47:36

Sox right fielder jersey. Oh,

47:40

these things are special. I sell

47:42

them up close. It, uh, that's a sharp piece of

47:44

equipment. I'll tell you

47:46

what's really stupid. Fucking sports memorabilia. It used

47:48

to be cool when they just sort of

47:50

randomly made it when good shit happened. Now

47:53

they just constantly having these wacky hats and

47:55

shit like that. And you know what ends

47:57

up happening? It all ends up fucking shrink

47:59

wrapped underneath your. fucking bed and no one gives a

48:01

shit about it. Sorry.

48:06

All right, so we learned anything from this podcast? All

48:09

right, AI is coming, it's not our decision.

48:11

They're gonna control us. Extreme

48:16

left people think

48:18

extreme right people are crazy. Extreme right people think extreme left

48:20

people are crazy. If we could all just sort of walk

48:22

towards each other and be like, hey man, I'm cool with

48:25

your guns. And as long as you don't do anything fucked

48:27

up with them. And then they could

48:29

be like, hey man, you know, not for nothing. Every bathroom

48:31

is gender neutral if there's a toilet in there. If

48:34

there's a shit out, right? And then

48:36

we all just sort of come together

48:38

and everybody fucking relaxes and everybody stops

48:40

yelling each other on the internet. I

48:44

like to think no one listens to my podcast does

48:46

that. But if you're doing that, you're not making the

48:48

world a better place. And

48:50

you're most likely arguing with the robot. Ha

48:53

ha ha. All right,

48:55

that's it. That's it from me, a guy

48:57

who doesn't know shit. I'll fucking talk to

49:00

you guys on Thursday. Go fuck yourselves and

49:02

have a great couple of days.