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Monday Morning Podcast 6-24-24

Monday Morning Podcast 6-24-24

Released Monday, 24th June 2024
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Monday Morning Podcast 6-24-24

Monday Morning Podcast 6-24-24

Monday Morning Podcast 6-24-24

Monday Morning Podcast 6-24-24

Monday, 24th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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16:00

teach acting classes just on doing that. They

16:03

obviously didn't do that. They just said, hey man there's

16:06

a car driving by, look at it. So they just

16:08

had them looking at it. It completely doesn't line up.

16:11

They're always like way too high, way too low,

16:13

or turning their head way too far. But

16:16

the actor who's doing it, this isn't

16:18

his fault. It's the production. Should have

16:20

told them where, you

16:22

know. Should have told

16:24

them where to look. And it's little things like that.

16:27

That's how people end up getting shot on set, you

16:29

know. No, I'm kidding. But it is, you know. It's,

16:31

it's, it's, you know. Sorry.

16:36

Anyway, too soon. I'm

16:38

not laughing at the victims. I'm

16:40

just saying. Anyway,

16:46

the actor that is doing that look, I'm going,

16:48

I know that face. Who is that guy? He's

16:50

a great character actor. I saw him in a

16:52

bunch of movies. And one of his most legendary

16:54

parts is that guy to

16:56

this day played a scene

16:58

in a movie that was the most horrific

17:00

fucking thing I'd ever seen up until that

17:03

point. He's

17:05

the guy that gets cut up in

17:07

the shower with the chainsaw in Scarface.

17:10

And I remember me

17:13

and my siblings talked my mother

17:15

into taking us to that movie when

17:18

it came out in 1983. And

17:22

she took us to that movie. And

17:28

when that scene happened, which happens pretty

17:30

early, if my mother said,

17:32

that's it, we're leaving, I would have been

17:34

like, no problem. It's

17:38

still one of the most disturbing things I've

17:42

ever watched. But that actor is in it.

17:44

There's all these incredible cars. And it's not

17:46

really just like the classic ones that,

17:49

you know, all the fucking baby boomers, you

17:52

know, all the Robert

17:54

Barron ones, not the good baby. There are good baby

17:56

boomers up there, but like, you know, the baby boomers

17:59

that got like the money. At this point, it's probably

18:01

Gen X too, that are like driving the prices. You

18:04

know, we got some mopar power coming up next.

18:06

We're gonna start the bidding at $200,000. And

18:09

you're like, for a fucking challenger? Ha ha

18:11

ha ha ha. When

18:15

I was in high school, you'd buy that car for like 3500 bucks. You

18:18

know what was funny too? Was

18:21

people would buy those cars, and the big thing

18:23

to do back then was you would jack up

18:25

the rear end. You'd totally take out the rear

18:27

end, jack it up and put some

18:29

fucking slicks on the back. You

18:32

just did all of this shit to the fucking

18:34

car. And had those people known back in the

18:37

day what those cars were gonna be worth. It's

18:40

just insane. So

18:44

this is the thing, I feel like now, because

18:47

these fucking electric cars are

18:49

taking over, which is

18:51

gonna lead us into a war with

18:53

Africa. I guarantee you, I guarantee fucking

18:55

to you, that's gonna be the next,

18:57

air quote, evil doers. Which really means

19:00

corporate, they have something that the corporations

19:02

want. They're

19:04

not evil doers. They're just people living

19:06

their lives that happen to live next

19:09

to a natural resource, that greedy cunts,

19:11

a small group of greedy cunts want, and

19:13

then they just get everybody all

19:15

hyped up, which is really easy to do. Because

19:19

I saw this thing on Instagram,

19:21

because I'm fucking addicted to it. This

19:25

guy, he played a prank on his mother. I

19:28

think they were in Jersey or something. And

19:31

he somehow fucked with their TV. I

19:33

don't know how these kids do it, man. They're

19:35

incredible. Their ability

19:37

to interact with technology. I'd

19:39

have to take a fucking year-long course

19:41

to figure out how this kid did

19:44

it. But he had that emergency, that

19:46

creepy fucking sound that sounds like a

19:48

computer from 100 years ago. When

19:51

are they gonna update that fucking

19:53

sound, that

19:55

buzz sound, right? And

19:58

it said there was some sort of... a warning

20:03

happening and it started,

20:05

I think it said that aliens were

20:07

landing and you just watched his mother

20:09

completely freak the

20:12

fuck out. It was like War of the Worlds again

20:14

in 2024. And if you

20:16

don't know what War of the Worlds is, I believe

20:18

it was, it might have the wrong

20:20

name, but it was initially a radio play.

20:24

And they did it on the radio. They didn't tell

20:27

people it was a joke and

20:29

they just, they said that these

20:32

aliens were landing and people got so

20:34

freaked out, like some people committed suicide.

20:38

And they were saying that all they had to do was

20:40

just turn the dial on the radio and it would have

20:42

just been like, a great day

20:44

for a ball game and they hopefully could have

20:46

put two and two together to

20:50

realize that if that was actually happening that the

20:52

game would be canceled and people wouldn't be talking

20:54

about it and whatnot. And

20:57

anyway, so it's really

20:59

easy to get people riled up. So

21:03

that's why I suggest not watching

21:06

the news. It'll

21:10

really help your day. And if I could just somehow get

21:13

off the social media that

21:15

these nerds want me to watch,

21:18

whoever thought that nerds would be leading it. Anyway,

21:23

so another movie I watched, I

21:26

watched Q&A, a Sidney Lumet movie

21:29

that stars Nick Nolte. And

21:31

once again, he's playing a cop like

21:34

in 48 hours, except

21:37

this time it's not a comedy. Timothy

21:42

Hutton's in it, Luis

21:44

Guzman. It's

21:48

a great cast. It's

21:50

a really, really, really good movie. But

21:53

dude, the level of fucking racism

21:55

in that movie. And

21:57

I don't mean like the standard, just. like,

22:01

you know, dropping the N word and

22:03

stuff about Latinos and Asians and all of

22:05

that. Like the level of

22:07

shit, but just between the white

22:10

people, just between nationalities. Like

22:14

I lost count. How many times you greaseball fucking

22:16

whomp that that that was just you fucking Mick,

22:18

blah, blah, blah, like all of this shit, like.

22:24

But it wasn't inaccurate. It's like that's kind

22:26

of like how it was. I saw this

22:28

thing. Eddie

22:32

Murphy was doing this great interview. He always has great

22:34

interviews, but he was doing this interview about 48 hours.

22:36

And he was talking about that scene he did when

22:39

he goes into was supposed to be like the

22:41

country western bar. And there was all those rednecks

22:44

and stuff in there. And

22:46

he was saying how he was really pissing people

22:48

off. You know, those

22:51

people actually really get mad in the

22:53

scene. And and

22:58

the person interviewing was young was just going really, really.

23:00

And he goes, yeah, man, you can understand. Like when

23:02

I made that movie, like literally, I mean, that was

23:04

only like

23:06

1413 years after Martin

23:08

Luther King got assassinated. Like there was a lot

23:11

of that shit was

23:13

not fucking resolved at all. So but

23:16

anyway, it is a

23:18

I it's

23:21

one of my favorite actually Nick

23:23

Nolte performances. He is he is

23:25

so fucking menacing and scary in

23:29

that movie. I've never seen him play something like

23:31

that, you know, and it just made me

23:33

really I got to do a deep dive on this guy. I got to watch

23:35

like I saw like North Dallas 40. I saw 48 hours. Then I

23:38

saw Q and A. I

23:43

know I've seen a way more than that. I just can't think

23:45

of anything right now. But I got to watch more

23:48

of that. But if you

23:50

guys have any recommendation, I would

23:53

definitely like to hear it. But I it's

23:56

funny at the age I am now, like I

23:59

pick movies. based on what kind of cars I

24:01

think I'm going to see. That's

24:05

why I watched I watched Car Wash. And

24:08

that movie, it's not even like the fucking

24:12

it's not even like the classic cars.

24:14

It's those cars you just forgot about.

24:19

You know what I mean? Like, like, there'll

24:21

be like, you

24:23

got to like look them up like like a whatever

24:26

the poor man's Oldsmobile Cutlass was,

24:29

you know, which I think was like a

24:31

Pontiac Grand Prix. And they always funny because

24:33

those are all GM products. So it was

24:35

all basically the same chassis and then they

24:37

would sort of change the

24:39

body on it a little bit. And

24:43

but it was still a lot of that thing where

24:45

like, you know, Cadillac didn't make like a cheap model,

24:47

like Cadillac was still the top thing

24:50

went Cadillac Buick Oldsmobile. Pontiac

24:53

Chevy is how it used to go. And they

24:55

all had different like price points. And it was

24:57

literally like working your way up from AAA.

25:02

You know, before like nowadays where they have like a BMW

25:05

for every sort of whatever,

25:08

whatever you make in a year, you can you can go lease

25:10

one or some shit like back in the day. It

25:13

really was you are what you drive. You

25:17

know, like if you showed up with the Buick, it'd be

25:19

like, Oh, you man, you're almost you're almost right. You

25:21

almost up at the fucking top. And

25:27

I saw a car me and Dean, I was

25:29

working up here with Dean Del Rey and we

25:31

saw this fucking car. Oh my god, it was

25:34

one of the most beautiful cars I've ever seen.

25:36

It was a Buick from the 1950s.

25:39

And it was like a low rider. And

25:42

I really realized like, you know, I

25:45

like low riders, I think cars from the 50s

25:47

look better than the ones

25:49

from like the 60s and 70s. And only because

25:51

I just think they've been like the the Impala

25:53

low riders been done to death. I know it's

25:55

a classic and everything. But those 1950s like a

26:00

two-door, this was like a two-door Buick. I wanted,

26:02

it was early 50s because it had like the

26:04

single headlights because

26:06

57 was when they had that stainless

26:08

steel top Cadillac and that was the first one

26:10

they had a dual headlights and then the next

26:13

year everything had dual headlights and dual headlights were

26:15

sort of all the rage and

26:18

maybe until like the late 60s. It kind

26:22

of, then they just had the single headlight and

26:24

then you stepped on that thing on the floor

26:26

and then the same headlight would get brighter, right?

26:29

So like

26:31

sort of like that 65, 66

26:34

Cadillac with the lights on top of each other then

26:36

when they went to the 70s. Was it side by

26:38

side with the big grill?

26:40

They might have kept the dual for a while,

26:42

I forget. Anyway, this

26:45

car was like an early, like I

26:47

get, I'm guessing a 53. It was

26:49

this gorgeous cream color and then on

26:51

top it was like this

26:54

emerald green metal flake that sort of faded

26:56

into like this gold looking stripe

26:58

down the middle and I

27:00

was saying to Dean, I was like, I would

27:02

never think to put that color combination together. Dude,

27:05

it was fucking gorgeous.

27:09

Gorgeous. I got to, my

27:11

son and daughter are, you know, hanging

27:13

out with me have become like car people. I got

27:15

to take them to a car show where

27:20

it's all low writers and stuff. Cause I got to tell you

27:22

like what, I

27:24

don't know. I mean, I don't know much about painting

27:26

cars, but like Mexicans,

27:30

like the level that they paint

27:32

the cars, it's just, it's fucking insane. It's

27:36

fucking insane. I mean, I would be afraid

27:38

to drive it down the goddamn street. It's,

27:40

it's literally a work of art. Didn't they

27:43

have that one time? They were like, our cars art.

27:48

Our cars are, well, I think it's more

27:50

art than some guy throwing buckets of paint

27:52

at a fucking canvas. I

27:56

don't know. I don't want to get involved in that fucking debate

27:58

anyway. All

28:02

right, so I'm actually recording this a day.

28:05

I usually record on Sundays. I'm taking this on Saturday,

28:07

but I'll recording it, whatever the fuck you say. So

28:10

I'm gonna stop here because I gotta do my show and

28:12

then through the magic of editing,

28:14

we will just pick this up with

28:17

a little bit of advertising and then your questions for the week.

28:19

But I want to get a little ahead of the game because

28:21

I haven't seen my kids in a few days.

28:23

So, you know, as

28:26

a dad coming home from the road, it's like you just

28:28

fucking put your bags down and then you're right

28:30

to the backyard throwing pitches. Ha

28:33

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Which

28:38

is awesome. I'm not gonna bitch about that, but it's,

28:40

you know, sometimes you're like, can I just fucking, you

28:42

know, sit here for a second and

28:44

they're like, dad, dad's home, all right. Dad,

28:47

let's go play baseball. I was like, all right, all right, here we go.

28:50

Here we go, all right. Oh,

28:52

Jesus, and just like that, it's the next

28:55

day and I'm back in my freaking house here.

28:58

It's gotta be weird. I

29:00

feel it was like half a second. And

29:03

I was about ready to do the reads for

29:05

this week and I completely forgot the most important

29:07

thing in sports right now. Game

29:11

seven of the NHL Stanley

29:14

Cup Final. What in the

29:16

fuck? Somehow

29:20

the Florida Panthers being up three

29:22

games to none are now, it's

29:24

all tied up. Three, three,

29:26

going into game seven. I don't give a

29:28

fuck if you don't watch any hockey. It's

29:30

a game seven. It's a

29:32

team coming down, coming back down.

29:36

Oh, three. It's

29:39

insane. I think the last time this happened in a

29:41

final, they said, was like a 1940s. I

29:45

remember it happened to the Bruins. We were up three

29:47

games to none over the Flyers and then Cray G

29:50

went down and I think Eric

29:52

Gagne or somebody came back and Jesus,

29:55

Jesus. But you know what? The next year we won

29:57

the cup. So, you know, you gotta take

29:59

that. to go with the bed there. I

30:02

do have to say I watched game six and

30:07

you know I was surprised they called back that

30:09

goal. Did

30:12

that look conclusive? I don't know I got old eyes

30:14

I was just like fucking

30:19

Paul Maurice oh my god how many times

30:21

did he almost loses gump yelling going there's

30:23

no fucking way that was offsides there's

30:25

no fucking way that was offsides. I

30:27

know they lost by way more than a goal

30:29

but you know being down to nothing

30:32

and then you think you cut it in half to

30:34

one and then all of a sudden they take that

30:36

away from you I mean that that changes the game

30:38

a little bit so we shall see

30:40

going back down to Florida

30:43

Miami and you gotta

30:46

wonder how many people in Miami even though this

30:48

game is happening I'm not

30:50

saying they're bad sports fans it's like have

30:52

you ever been to fucking Miami I mean

30:54

just why would you ever be inside watching

30:56

ice hockey Jesus

30:58

Christ like some of the most beautiful people

31:00

I've ever seen in my life walking around

31:03

what is

31:05

it Miami Beach whatever the fucking

31:07

thing is that where all the wallow the big

31:09

houses are and you

31:12

start hearing that Scarface music and all of

31:14

that I'm amazed

31:16

anybody goes to games but I know they got a bunch

31:18

they got to have fucking huge hockey fans down there with

31:20

this team that they got the last two years the run

31:22

that they've had so who

31:25

knows did the Panthers somehow

31:27

fucking hang on and

31:30

get it done after you know I know

31:33

they lost last year in the final but

31:35

nobody thought that they were gonna be they

31:37

didn't think they were gonna beat the Bruins in

31:39

the first round forget about the second round then

31:41

when the Eastern Conference final and all of that

31:44

but now that they're back now they got to

31:46

expect to win you know

31:48

going up against Edmonton and certainly up three games

31:50

to none am I saying anything you guys don't

31:53

fucking know I should be on ESPN

31:55

right now fucking

31:58

old captain obvious over here Anyway,

32:02

I'm gonna have a couple

32:05

of my standup buddies are

32:07

coming over. A

32:09

couple of the wives, they're coming

32:11

over, gonna make some wings

32:14

and shit. And we're gonna sit down

32:16

and watch it. It's gonna be, it's

32:19

gonna be incredible. Fucking

32:23

incredible. It's weird now, now it would be just sort of

32:25

like, I

32:27

think unless you're a Panthers fan, for anybody else,

32:29

it's just a complete buzzkill if Edmonton loses. Because

32:32

then it's just like, well, yeah, it's just, you

32:34

know, they're up three

32:36

games now, and we thought the Panthers were gonna win,

32:38

but the fucking Edmonton wins. It's like, one of the

32:40

most unbelievable, incredible,

32:42

fucking comebacks all the time, you know? So

32:45

anyway, I'll be watching that. Somebody

32:50

was trying to claim that the Edmonton

32:52

coach said after game

32:54

three, we figured something out. I

32:57

refuse to believe that's true. Like, if you

32:59

figured something out, why would you make that

33:01

public? Wouldn't you act

33:03

like you didn't figure anything out? And then

33:06

in between periods, being like, we fucking figured them out,

33:08

man. Like, why would you say that to the press?

33:11

So I don't think that's real. Anyway,

33:17

I did my last show at the Civic Center.

33:19

That's what it's called in San Jose. It

33:23

was fantastic. And then I woke up and I

33:25

ran over there with a couple buddies of mine

33:27

to go back over to academic coffee before I

33:29

got on the plane and

33:32

headed back, you

33:35

know, really nice flight, gorgeous state.

33:37

That is California. I

33:43

have a gig, I think, in upstate California coming up.

33:45

I think I'm going to drive up and I'm not

33:47

going to... I

33:50

might go along the coast or take the 99. I've

33:52

got to see something different. I've never been, you know

33:54

what's funny? I've never been to Yosemite. And

33:56

people are like, oh, you've got to take your family there. It's like, I'm

33:59

not fucking taking them there. If we stay

34:01

in the car, we are. I'm not going

34:03

to deal with bobcats and mountain lions and

34:05

bears. I

34:07

come from the suburbs. I

34:09

can deal with squirrels, blue

34:11

jays, and the occasional

34:13

fucking owl. That's it.

34:16

That's what raccoons. I

34:19

had a buddy of mine told me he went up

34:21

there and this fucking pack of raccoons started coming at

34:23

him. He was like, wow, that's weird. The next thing

34:25

you know, he was throwing his food running away. I

34:30

think they know that most of us are

34:33

pussies. I bet we had more respect back

34:35

in the day when we had raccoon hats

34:37

on. There you go. Send in a message.

34:41

You want to end up like your friend? I

34:44

got a whole boat full of fucking varmint

34:46

pelts. You

34:49

just made the list, buddy. What's

34:53

that a reference to? That's

34:55

that dude, psycho in stripes. You

34:57

just made the list. Is that what he said?

35:01

I don't like anybody touching me. You

35:05

can't say that shit. Any homo, that's what he said. Touches

35:09

me and I'll kill you. I

35:12

don't like anybody touching my stuff. Anybody touches

35:14

my stuff and I'll

35:16

kill you. Lighten up, Francis.

35:21

Anyway, quoting stripes from way back in

35:23

the day, another movie my

35:26

parents took me to. My parents were hilarious. My

35:28

mother took us to two, I've told this

35:30

before, took us to two kid movies and decided

35:32

these things are fucking stupid. I'm not doing this

35:34

because they didn't make kid movies the way they

35:36

do now. I

35:39

think the best one I've seen is Lego

35:42

Batman. It's ridiculous. And then all of those

35:44

Lightning McQueen movies are great. But

35:47

Lego Batman is just a whole other level. But

35:51

when I was a kid, kid movies were like, we

35:55

saw For the Love of Benji, which

35:59

all parents probably and they had like going full of

36:01

love of Christ. It was like a fucking talking dog. I

36:03

can't even remember. I

36:06

was just happy to be at the movies, you know? And

36:09

then we saw Herbie Goes to Monte

36:11

Carlo. And that was sort of

36:13

like Knight

36:15

Rider for like hippies. I

36:19

don't know. It was like a fucking, it was

36:21

a Volkswagen bug that sort of had, you

36:24

know, AI basically. It

36:27

had a mind of its own or something. I don't know. And

36:30

somehow it raced against Formula One cars and it

36:32

won. It

36:35

was kind of odd, you know, to

36:37

do that with a German car that, you

36:40

know, Hollywood and

36:43

what Germans have done to so many Jewish

36:45

people that Hollywood would okay a

36:48

Volkswagen bug doing those things. You'd

36:50

think they'd go with maybe like something

36:52

that the allies made, you know, like a

36:54

fucking Jaguar or a Chevy. Anyway,

36:58

that's what I love about fucking

37:01

white supremacists. They

37:09

like Hitler. It's like, and they support the

37:11

troops. It doesn't make it, it's like, we

37:13

fought that guy. How

37:17

you support the troops and you're on the

37:19

fucking side of the axis. It doesn't make

37:22

any fucking sense.

37:27

It doesn't make any sense to support

37:29

anybody that wants to go out and

37:32

kill a whole bunch of other people. You

37:35

know, even if it

37:37

is your own country, I don't know how

37:39

you stop these fucking lunatics. There's so much

37:41

fucking crazy shit. I don't watch the news,

37:43

but I saw them starting to ramp up.

37:45

Russia's talking to North Korea. Love Jesus. Fucking

37:49

let them. Who gives it? We can blow up the world 90

37:51

times. What are they gonna do to us? We

37:54

press one, but we're like fucking lunatic. Fucking

37:57

lunatic. We'll kill everybody. We'll kill everybody.

37:59

Everyone, including ourselves.

38:02

Didn't we already do this? Didn't

38:06

Matthew Broderick figure it out in a

38:08

movie 40 years ago when the computer

38:11

played tic-tac-toe? I thought we already figured

38:13

this out. We're going back to the

38:15

well again. Doing

38:18

that a lot. They're rebooting a bunch of, all

38:20

these shows are fucking coming back. I think we're

38:22

just out of ideas and we're just kind of

38:24

repeating ourselves. Wait

38:27

now to see what's the next TV show

38:29

that they reboot. I

38:36

think they bring it back, Pimp My Ride. Remember

38:39

that show? But that show

38:41

made sense back then because so many cars sucked. Now

38:44

the cars are like, the cars are so

38:46

fast people can't handle the horsepower. There's

38:49

all kinds of YouTube channels that people fucking,

38:51

you know, trying to do a burnout or

38:53

something. And next thing you know, they fucking

38:55

skidding sideways into a tree. It

39:03

really is nuts. Like the level of cars out

39:05

there with like 400 fucking, three, 400 horsepower. That

39:09

was like the fastest cars. All these people talking

39:12

about back in the day, you know, 40 fucking

39:15

electric cars, fucking man's god

39:17

damn man car. Like

39:19

those cars all get smoked by

39:22

fucking SUVs today. Unless

39:26

maybe you had like a Shelby or something like

39:28

that. But the average fucking Mustang, you

39:30

know, I don't know, maybe

39:33

the cars made of steel back then, you fucking, you

39:35

know, they didn't have crumple zones. You fucking died. The

39:37

steering wheel went into your chest. And

39:40

cars today are just as heavy as they

39:42

were back then. If

39:44

not heavier, I have no fucking idea. I mean, back

39:46

then you just had a power train, your

39:48

suspension and your brake system. And

39:52

then whatever sat, you open the hood, you

39:54

could look in the engine bay, you could

39:56

see the fucking driveway. You can't do that

39:58

nowadays. There's all kinds of. When

46:00

you go to a pro baseball game and just

46:02

see them warming up whipping the ball around the

46:05

infield With great speed

46:07

and grace. It's impressive Slash

46:10

does it make you a little bit envious? That's

46:13

the basic standard we expect of

46:15

them This person's hilarious a

46:18

short stop can throw a baseball hard

46:20

and fast to first base if he

46:22

can't He messed up

46:24

he choked and I'm allowed to and

46:27

I am allowed to say that even though

46:29

I couldn't hit a barn from five feet

46:31

away No,

46:34

Jesus Christ This

46:37

is really self involved I

46:39

let you did you notice how this

46:41

person said we the entire time Until

46:43

they got to the point of saying choked and then

46:45

where did all your friends go? It

46:48

just became I If

46:50

LeBron James had two free throws to

46:52

win a championship and miss both and

46:54

they lost well He choked

46:57

plain and simple because an NBA

46:59

player should hit nine out of

47:01

ten free throws. Anyway, that's ridiculous

47:03

That's a ridiculous step the

47:06

greatest free throws Shooters

47:09

of all time. Maybe you're at that category. So

47:12

you don't even know what you're talking about. So

47:14

when a so-called golf great Also

47:17

an egotistical baby Roar,

47:20

how do you you don't even know to see this? You

47:22

don't even know this guy. This is all the listen. I

47:26

Understand your argument and it's not a

47:28

unique one because this is what all

47:30

sports fans who go online and say

47:32

all kinds of negative shit and find

47:35

like the athletes Twitter account and Send

47:38

them clown emojis and all of that type of

47:40

shit. Yeah that that has nothing to do with

47:42

the athlete Or

47:47

sports fans who want their team to

47:49

win So they can go online

47:51

and make fun of the fans on the other

47:53

side. That's that you're not a sports fan All

47:56

right. Yeah, there's something wrong with you psychologically

48:00

And you actually don't understand

48:03

sports, and you probably never played them,

48:06

because you don't understand competition. All

48:10

you know is that whoever wins is

48:13

the goat, and whoever loses is a

48:15

bitch. That's the level

48:17

of it. Anyway, he

48:19

writes, Rory McElrove misses two

48:22

giant T.W.O. putts, both of

48:24

only three feet, and pisses

48:26

away the lead. No,

48:29

that's not what happened. He was down by

48:31

a stroke, and at a fucking

48:33

epic, he birdied three out

48:36

of four to get into that position. What

48:38

about that part? What about

48:40

that part? Let's not

48:42

watch the whole game. Let's just

48:44

watch the end and say that's

48:46

who he is. And

48:49

then I love how the guy, like his one

48:52

majors, but because he hasn't won

48:54

one in a while, now he's a choker. How are

48:56

you a choker when you're already a champion? You've

48:58

already won a golf major. You

49:00

don't get to where he's at choking.

49:03

You just don't. I

49:06

100% disagree with all of this. I

49:09

feel like people, when they talk about athletes

49:11

choking and not being able to win the

49:13

big one and getting tight and all the

49:15

blah, blah, blah, they do that because they're

49:18

not happy with their own. So

49:20

much of it is that. Like,

49:23

you remember that bearded guy, Versi,

49:25

Versa, whatever the fuck his name was,

49:28

and the

49:30

jazz lose to the

49:34

Chicago Bulls. And he goes and

49:36

talks to Karl Malone, who's processing

49:39

the devastation of that loss, that

49:42

this guy could never fucking understand. And

49:45

he says, do you feel like a failure?

49:49

That's what the guy

49:51

said to the guy in the

49:53

Milwaukee Bucks. Yeah, it's

49:55

always that stuff. They want them to

49:57

say they're a failure. They want them to

49:59

say... that they blew it. They actually

50:02

need them to say that. They

50:07

need them to say that so they can feel better

50:09

about themselves. That's what it is. That's

50:12

what it is. And if you really look at sports writers,

50:15

most of them, they don't want the local

50:17

team to win. They do everything they can

50:19

to pull the

50:21

thing apart. Constantly trying to talk

50:23

about how this player doesn't talk

50:25

to that player. There's a quarterback

50:28

controversy. The ownership and the GM

50:30

aren't getting along. All

50:32

this fucking Real Housewife shit. I'm

50:37

in the Boston sports media. I used to read the

50:39

fucking sports page and be like, are you guys fans

50:41

of these teams or did they fly you in from

50:43

New York? And then I moved to New York and

50:45

it was even fucking worse. That's all they do is

50:47

try to pull the fucking team apart. That

50:51

has nothing to do with the team.

50:53

That has to do with some fat,

50:55

impotent fuck who eats donuts every morning

50:59

and didn't go for what the fucking wanted in

51:01

life. I don't know what. That's their shit to

51:03

figure it

51:06

out. I

51:09

don't agree with any of this shit. I don't

51:11

think that fat people on Ozepic should be

51:13

talking about people choking. But

51:17

that's just my opinion. So the

51:20

simple objective, okay, I

51:22

like how this person writes

51:24

this. Rory misses two putts,

51:26

both of only three feet and pisses

51:29

away the lead. The simple objective truth.

51:32

How arrogant is this person?

51:35

He brings in hypothetical we. There's no we.

51:37

It's his statement. And then it comes around

51:40

to him to say that you choke. And

51:42

now he's saying that his opinion is

51:44

simple and objective. Okay,

51:49

simple objective truth is that he

51:51

felt nervous and messed up because

51:54

of his nerves. You don't even know what you're

51:56

talking about. The guy's going through a fucking divorce

51:58

right now. And was. and

52:00

came one shot away from winning a major.

52:03

You'd be crying in a fucking fetal position.

52:07

The nerve of you, the nerve of you

52:09

to just start talking about this guy like you

52:11

have the right to criticize him, like you've done

52:14

anything in your fucking life at his level. Fucking

52:18

sitting in the crowd, go fuck yourself.

52:21

Anyway, he

52:24

says, AKA he choked, watching water

52:27

falling from the sky and saying

52:29

it's raining isn't a mean thing

52:31

to say, Bill. Oh

52:35

my God, how fucking arrogant is

52:37

this person? So basically your opinion,

52:40

your opinion is as

52:43

obvious as rain falling from

52:45

the sky. My

52:48

God. Well,

52:52

all I can say about this email is I'm glad you're

52:55

not in my day-to-day life. And if you were, I am

52:57

old enough now to, you would

53:00

be cut out. Like I can't,

53:03

you can't be around a person like this. I

53:05

know you do yoga with your

53:07

shirt off now, now he's attacking

53:09

me, probably wearing little skin-tight booty

53:12

shorts, but hey, not everyone needs

53:14

to get a participation trophy. Okay,

53:17

go fuck yourself, you red bastard.

53:19

Yeah, no. So

53:22

basically, he's calling me a

53:24

fairy because I'm giving this guy a fucking

53:26

pass and that his, the

53:29

way I look at it is

53:31

as obvious and as simple as rain

53:34

falling from the sky. You

53:38

sound like, okay, you sound like

53:40

you're just, you're a

53:42

real fun person to be around. Ha ha

53:44

ha ha ha ha. All

53:48

right, okay, well, you know what? And

53:51

I'm also, okay, I'm gonna show empathy for the

53:53

people in your life to say you're 100% right,

53:56

so you won't fucking take

53:59

what I said out on that. emotional,

1:00:01

more principled leader. Yeah,

1:00:04

amen to that. I

1:00:06

love America, but I have problems with leadership.

1:00:09

But then there are people who are just absolutely

1:00:12

insane and think that we need to burn

1:00:15

down the whole country. I

1:00:17

think it's absolutely fucking

1:00:20

ridiculous what

1:00:23

the pharmaceutical industry, the food industry,

1:00:27

banks and insurance companies are doing to

1:00:30

their fellow Americans. It's treasonous. And

1:00:32

when they get caught doing what they're doing, you know,

1:00:35

all it is is like a class action

1:00:37

suit against the corporation. And it's like they

1:00:40

never go after it. It's like, who were

1:00:42

the people in the board meeting? They

1:00:45

need to start going and instead of

1:00:47

holding a corporation responsible,

1:00:50

they need to start holding people responsible.

1:00:52

And some CEOs need to fucking go

1:00:54

to jail. And if that happened, then

1:00:56

they would actually think about what they're

1:00:58

doing. But right now they can basically

1:01:00

murder fellow Americans, you

1:01:05

know, by putting stuff out there that they know

1:01:07

is bad, that they know causes cancer, that they

1:01:09

know causes addiction, and all of that type of

1:01:11

stuff. And in the end, all you do is

1:01:13

go after the conglomerate

1:01:15

that came up with the pill or the food

1:01:18

or whatever the fuck it is. But

1:01:20

you don't go after the people that had the data

1:01:22

that knew what the fuck it was going to do

1:01:24

and made a profit off of all of these other

1:01:26

people's suffering. And I

1:01:28

hate to tell you this, I don't see Democrats

1:01:31

or Republicans going after these people. I don't see

1:01:33

Fox News or CNN doing it. All

1:01:35

I see is all of them trying to get

1:01:37

us to be yelling at each other. And I

1:01:39

got to tell you, it's working. It's going great.

1:01:42

Everybody in capital letters screaming and

1:01:44

fucking yelling at each other. So

1:01:46

fucking depressing to

1:01:48

look at. And

1:01:52

then they got bots doing it. They

1:01:55

got bots doing it on every other video

1:01:57

on Instagram. You can blame the lid,

1:01:59

Tarver. for this, yeah, thank you,

1:02:01

and you want to elect Trump?

1:02:06

It's not even real people, and it just gets people yelling

1:02:08

again. All right. Kenny

1:02:11

Banya. Hello,

1:02:14

Wilbur. Said like Wilbur. Love

1:02:17

your comedy and love the consistency

1:02:19

of the podcast. Consistently

1:02:22

ignorant, yes. Reaching out. As

1:02:25

every now and again, my wife and I will pop

1:02:27

on Seinfeld at the end of the night. Oh

1:02:29

yeah, you can't mess with that show. I literally,

1:02:31

I had it on the road and it was

1:02:33

the Soup Nazi episode. The classics. It's right up

1:02:36

there with like Mary Tyler Moore, like there was

1:02:38

never a bad episode of that. Just my own

1:02:40

personal opinion. Cheers. Every

1:02:42

episode was fucking great. The

1:02:46

Jeffersons, all in the family. It's

1:02:48

been some great ones over the years. Everybody

1:02:51

loves Raymond. It's fucking, it's a

1:02:53

killer one too. All

1:02:55

right. Reaching

1:02:57

out. As every

1:03:00

now and again, my wife and I will pop

1:03:02

on Seinfeld at the end of the night. Whenever

1:03:04

she sees Kenny Banya, she

1:03:06

can't help but think that Jerry

1:03:08

Seinfeld wrote that character in reference

1:03:12

to you. That is impossible. I

1:03:14

did not meet Jerry Seinfeld until

1:03:17

like 10 years after the show went off the air. She

1:03:20

says it every time. Now

1:03:23

I can't help but think of you when I

1:03:25

see Kenny Banya. I don't know who that is

1:03:27

on the show. Did Jerry write this character in

1:03:29

reference to you? Keep up the

1:03:31

good work and go fudge yourself. First of all,

1:03:33

the Seinfeld Chronicles, when it first came out, came

1:03:36

out in 1989. I didn't

1:03:38

even start, I didn't do my first open mic

1:03:40

until March of 1992. By

1:03:43

March of 1993, I'd probably done

1:03:46

stand up. I

1:03:48

don't know, maybe 25 times

1:03:51

I was finishing up in college and by then

1:03:53

Seinfeld was a huge hit and they probably already

1:03:55

had that character. But

1:03:57

no, I never… I

1:04:01

never even saw Seinfeld in

1:04:03

a comedy club until right at the end

1:04:05

of when it ended. He had

1:04:08

already wrapped on it and

1:04:10

everything was edited and you know America

1:04:13

didn't know what the final you

1:04:16

know however many episodes were

1:04:18

going to be but he did and he

1:04:20

had already come back and started doing stand

1:04:22

up. First time I ever saw him in

1:04:24

person I was in the crowd. I saw

1:04:27

him in right

1:04:29

towards the end right around May of 98 almost

1:04:33

let's see well I remember when the night

1:04:35

of the last episode because

1:04:37

Frank Sinatra died on almost the same day and I

1:04:39

was in New York City but whenever

1:04:41

I saw him it might have been in March and they

1:04:44

were already talking about all these outrageous rumors about how

1:04:46

much they were going to pay the cast if they

1:04:48

decided to do one more season and all of this

1:04:51

stuff. But anyway long story short he came down to

1:04:53

the improv on

1:04:57

Melrose and I

1:05:00

saw him come in and it was fucking amazing

1:05:02

to see him and I remember he came in

1:05:04

it was a 15 minute spot and he did

1:05:06

15 minutes and then left and

1:05:08

I was like that's how you fucking do it

1:05:10

because I remember he left and I was like

1:05:12

fuck where's he going and I wish he stayed

1:05:15

on longer and I remember thinking oh yeah always leave

1:05:17

him wanting more and he was

1:05:19

a pro he came in you know obviously he

1:05:22

bumped all of us and

1:05:25

we were waiting to go on but he didn't go

1:05:27

on for like an hour and Heming and Hawn he

1:05:29

went up he started with shit that worked he had

1:05:31

new shit in the middle then

1:05:33

he closed with the killer joke and then he was

1:05:35

out of there got

1:05:37

in his car and left it was amazing. Alright

1:05:39

poison in our food hey

1:05:42

there old Billy soapbox I was just listening to

1:05:44

Thursday podcast from a few weeks ago May

1:05:47

2nd 2024 and you were talking about

1:05:49

all the poisons and carcinogens in our

1:05:51

food and fragrances yeah they're doing all

1:05:54

this stuff like fragrances like perfumes and

1:05:56

candles and all of this shit they

1:05:58

don't have to tell people what's

1:06:00

in it because it's protected because it's their

1:06:02

secret recipe which they like okay well let's

1:06:05

put some carcinogens in there that's what the

1:06:07

fuck I'm talking about comedians

1:06:09

have to answer for jokes but these people don't

1:06:11

have to answer for that anyway

1:06:13

my girlfriend and I just found out found

1:06:15

an app that can scan any food or

1:06:18

beauty slash hygiene products if they

1:06:21

have a barcode and it'll give them a

1:06:23

score out

1:06:26

of a hundred how good or bad

1:06:28

it is for you and it will

1:06:30

also give recommendations for better slash lower

1:06:32

risk products if the one

1:06:34

you scan is not good all right well what I

1:06:36

want you to do is find out who

1:06:39

made that and who owns it because

1:06:45

there's so many scams like the scam

1:06:47

of like you like I love incognito

1:06:49

mode you're on incognito mode nobody

1:06:52

knows who you are it's

1:06:54

like no that's just to make you feel like

1:06:56

no one knows who you are and they they

1:06:58

100% do everyone

1:07:01

knows it's you and they can go around anything

1:07:03

so but this thing might be made by people

1:07:05

that are trying to help out the people or

1:07:08

it could be made by a corporation that

1:07:10

can't it can't like maybe

1:07:13

they're Pepsi and they can't get rid of Coke

1:07:15

so what they're gonna do is make an app

1:07:17

that acts like it's you know working

1:07:21

for you but it's really working for Pepsi and

1:07:23

it's gonna say Coke is bad and Pepsi is

1:07:25

better that's what I would be paranoid about but

1:07:27

uh anyways and

1:07:29

it also will give you recommendations for better

1:07:31

ones blah blah blah it also provides information

1:07:33

on why it isn't good such as known

1:07:36

chemicals and shit in there that's hazardous or

1:07:38

could be risky I'm not sure if

1:07:40

you want to say the name on your podcast because

1:07:42

I'm sure you don't want to provide free everything what

1:07:44

are you talking about I don't care I thought you

1:07:46

would think that I was gonna shut it down so

1:07:48

don't read this part aloud if you don't want to

1:07:50

but it's called it's called

1:07:52

I'm gonna say it it's called yucka Y U

1:07:55

K A and it's the one with the carrot

1:07:57

as its logo all right we'll try and get this

1:08:00

thing before one of these carcinogen companies

1:08:02

buys it. And

1:08:04

they won't put it out of business. They'll just make it.

1:08:06

You know how they just sort of with

1:08:08

Waze? Waze just does what

1:08:10

Google does now, Google Maps, because Google bought

1:08:13

Waze. Back in the day, Waze would

1:08:15

be different than Google's, and now it's all just the

1:08:17

same. Google Maps, it's all the same. At least that's

1:08:19

what my nerd friends tell me. Anyway,

1:08:21

it breaks everything down for you and explains why

1:08:24

it's risky and even gives sources of where that

1:08:26

information is coming from. They say that it is

1:08:28

completely independent and never gives recommendations based on products

1:08:30

paying them to be higher on the list. Although

1:08:32

I don't know how you would know if that's

1:08:35

true or not. I'm choosing to still use it

1:08:37

because the information has been a game changer for

1:08:39

us. Wow, that's cool. All right, the app

1:08:41

is free. And no, I'm not affiliated

1:08:43

with this app in any way. How

1:08:46

do I know that's true? Who knows? I

1:08:48

just like it and think it's providing a good service

1:08:50

to people. I figured you might like to know about

1:08:52

it. And if you want to check some of the

1:08:54

products or food you eat, it's worth

1:08:56

the download. A lot of

1:08:58

the stuff I was eating that I thought were healthy option

1:09:01

turned out to be absolute shit. So

1:09:03

I immediately switched to things that didn't have all

1:09:05

risky chemicals and BS in it. Also

1:09:08

looking at things like body washes, shampoo,

1:09:10

lotions, lip balm and deodorant was

1:09:13

very eye opening. Yeah, I don't

1:09:15

use deodorant anymore because I don't want to

1:09:17

get like Alzheimer's or anything like that. I've

1:09:21

never been a big sweater. So

1:09:24

I haven't

1:09:27

used deodorant in years and no one has complained, although

1:09:29

I do have less friends. Fragrances

1:09:31

really are tricky because it's classified

1:09:33

as intellectual property. So

1:09:36

here in the US, they don't have to disclose

1:09:38

the ingredients. Well

1:09:40

in other countries, they do. So obviously it's

1:09:42

fuck they paid somebody off. He

1:09:45

says, which sucks, but I found you can still

1:09:47

get a lot of good information and make better

1:09:49

choices with this app. It

1:09:51

also doesn't only take into consideration our laws

1:09:53

in this country, but also the health and

1:09:56

safety laws in places like Europe. So

1:09:58

sometimes you even get information. that you

1:10:00

normally might not get because the FDA

1:10:02

doesn't, air quote, require companies to provide

1:10:05

that information. Anyway,

1:10:07

I love your work and I hope to hear your

1:10:09

thoughts on this app if you give it a look

1:10:12

or if you just think it's bullshit. LOL, keep crushing

1:10:14

it out there, Bill. Healthy and happiness to you and

1:10:16

your family. Yeah, I mean, isn't it

1:10:18

amazing that, like, during all of that, what

1:10:21

I just talked about, other than thinking about

1:10:23

getting that app, did you stop and

1:10:25

think how fucked up it is that

1:10:27

this is, like, normal? Like

1:10:30

all right, we got an app to figure

1:10:32

out whether these corporations are poisoning their own

1:10:34

people or not. Anyway,

1:10:39

all right, that's it. That's

1:10:41

the podcast. I'm looking

1:10:44

forward to this game tonight. It's going

1:10:46

to be a heartbreaker for somebody and

1:10:48

over the moon for somebody else and

1:10:51

another great NHL season

1:10:53

coming down to a Game 7 Stanley

1:10:55

Cup final. You can't ask any more

1:10:57

than that. Good luck to both teams.

1:11:00

I will be watching and I

1:11:03

will be in Seattle this

1:11:05

week. I don't know if I'm going to be doing the

1:11:07

third. I'll probably do it the Thursday podcast, but I'm taking

1:11:10

my special this week up at the Moore Theater. Looking

1:11:14

forward to it. All right, everybody, I

1:11:16

will talk to you on Thursday. Go

1:11:18

fuck yourselves.

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