0:00

The McElroy brothers are not experts

0:03

and their advice should never be followed. Travis

0:06

insists he's a sexpert, but

0:08

if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

0:11

Also, this show isn't for kids, which

0:14

I mentioned only so the babies out there will

0:16

know how cool they are for listening. What's

0:18

up you cool baby? Hello

1:04

everybody

1:07

welcome

1:12

to my brother meeting Vy'ja from the

1:14

Madrin era. I'm your oldest brother Justin

1:16

McElroy and I'm walking on air. What

1:19

up Trav Nation I'm your middle-aged brother

1:21

Travis and Akroy Wolf. Hi Trav Nation

1:23

it's Griffin McElroy come with us.

1:25

You all thought it was done on

1:28

our bus. It

1:30

smells weird but not that you

1:32

can put a finger on. You

1:36

guys you were like your cat

1:38

cacti-tation. You

1:41

all at home were like oh yeah

1:43

the McElroy brothers now that wonka's out

1:45

they saw it they went that's done

1:47

wonka's done. Well well is

1:49

it because it is

1:52

it's so great with as bad as

1:54

the news is always. Yeah every once

1:56

in a while a headline will pop

1:58

up that's like Hey, Jay, man,

2:01

you do need to know about this

2:03

one. I am happy that the algorithm

2:05

saw fit to send this our way.

2:09

Griffin, tell me about the Willy Wonka's chocolate

2:11

experience in Glasgow. Well, first

2:13

of all, Justin, you fucking numbskull.

2:17

It's not Willy Wonka's

2:19

chocolate experience. It's Willy's chocolate experience.

2:24

The Willy featured in this chocolate experience

2:26

is not Willy Wonka, and they cannot

2:28

be any clearer about that. It's Willy

2:31

McDuff chocolate magnate. See, I

2:34

thought it was Willy chocolate

2:36

experience because it's the question

2:38

of will you, specifically

2:41

me, Will Travis chocolate experience? And the

2:43

answer is no. Automation's

2:46

coming for us, okay? It's

2:49

coming for us. That's all

2:51

I'm going to say about

2:53

that, except to say that

2:55

oversight is overdue and probably

2:57

not going to happen. So

3:01

I think it falls on

3:03

us to determine what is

3:05

okay for AI to do.

3:07

Swindling people, not it.

3:09

Swindling people. Yeah, leave the swindling

3:12

to the human things. Yeah,

3:15

only human skin really swindles. Listen,

3:17

AI can scam. AI can

3:20

scam. You can scam, hoodwink. But it can't

3:22

flim flam. It cannot

3:24

flim flam. Flam flam is a human endeavor. I'm

3:27

going to say, just to put

3:29

this on the list, I

3:31

think videos of Will Smith Eating Spaghetti,

3:33

specifically only, specifically only, and

3:36

it can't be too good. Okay, okay. Yeah,

3:38

that's okay. And coming up

3:40

with Willy McDuff

3:43

fan fiction, Willy Wonka

3:46

side chapters, extended

3:48

cuts. Absolutely. You

3:50

can go nuts with that, man. Let it

3:52

ride. Don't do anything bad with it. But

3:54

AI, seal of approval on that.

3:56

Okay, that one's AI's. I

3:59

think maybe there's people who- who

4:01

don't follow Wonka-based news as closely as

4:03

we do. Right, you know, we've sort of run

4:05

screaming into

4:08

their house, screaming about Wonka, which they should be

4:11

comfortable with at this point. We've done it so

4:13

many times. They opened the door. Like, we don't

4:16

make our podcast appear. I'm

4:18

saying, they clicked the button. They said, come in, tell

4:20

me whatever you want to. Now,

4:22

there was a event held in Glasgow.

4:28

And it was largely Wonka-based,

4:30

and it was completely AI-generated

4:34

from the key art, which ended up sort of

4:36

selling a bit of a false bill of goods

4:38

vis-a-vis a world of pure imagination, while

4:41

also promising things like karti-tons and

4:43

XR-sos-er-day lollipops and a pass of

4:45

dice of sweet teats. Sorry, I

4:47

have a- Sorry, one more time?

4:49

Was that a lollipop? Go ahead,

4:51

and I can, just wait one

4:54

sec. Allow me. A

4:56

pass of dice of sweet teats. Now,

5:00

AI, are you drunk? So the

5:03

experience, the website is incredibly colorful.

5:05

The robots have done an excellent

5:07

job. And then- Sure.

5:10

Yeah, they really captured Lisa Frank

5:12

in a cage and

5:14

squeezed her weird blood

5:16

out to make these images. The problem is

5:19

when they demonstrate the twilight tunnel in this

5:21

ad. This is when the problems start to

5:23

appear. You see a tunnel lit

5:25

with candles, and that's very good. And then,

5:27

Travis, are you able to make out what

5:29

says there at the bottom? Yeah,

5:32

so, oh God, okay. Lighten,

5:39

dim- Dim-tight. Dim-tight.

5:44

These are different color palettes you can see in

5:46

the twilight. Just to walk you through, all right,

5:48

you guys don't really follow AI stuff as closely

5:50

as I do. Let me walk you through sort

5:52

of some of the heuristics that this particular program

5:54

was running through, is that it wanted

5:56

you to know what colors you were gonna see when

5:58

you went to this attraction. at the Willy

6:01

Wonka experience called Twilight Tunnel. And so it

6:03

provides a list of color palettes at the

6:05

bottom, which include labels like diffractions

6:08

and ungrivel. And then pretty.

6:12

And then underneath it says Unexpected

6:14

Twits. Yeah, in that

6:17

one you'll see lots of Unexpected

6:19

Twits. Now look out for the

6:21

ang-a-moo-founds. This image is

6:23

really the superstar there. Oh boy.

6:26

Trav, now describe this one

6:28

for me Trav. So

6:30

this is, if you combine

6:32

the like ringleader MC Jude from

6:38

Moulin Rouge and

6:41

one of the horrifying clockwork things from

6:45

the Madame

6:47

Pompadour episode of Doctor Who, you've got

6:50

that main guy there. Yeah, sure. And

6:52

there's weird candy all around. But the

6:54

thing that gets me the most is

6:57

the image upon his giant lollipop stick.

6:59

What is that? Because in

7:01

one hand he has a cane. Okay, in

7:04

the other hand, a giant lollipop. He's two,

7:06

he's double fisting, walking utensils here. And on

7:08

the lollipop it appears to be a bat.

7:11

Yeah, what I can only describe is grown up

7:13

vampirina. Yeah, that's also worth

7:15

noting that the bear has a butt

7:17

for a friend. He doesn't have

7:20

a front butt, that is all. AI

7:22

is so nasty. It's

7:24

a Trav, so it promises some of the things you can expect.

7:31

Can you tell me what we can

7:33

expect here? There's live performances. There's,

7:36

okay, there's. I will say the M

7:39

on performances does, they did give that

7:41

one an extra hump. Yeah, there's a

7:43

little jazz on that one. Cacti-sating, kar-chee-tunes,

7:50

yeah, exarcer, exarcer-dre

7:53

lollipops. And as

7:55

Griffin described, a passag die says, please.

8:00

Yeah. It's all right there. This

8:04

clearly was said the paragraph that is

8:06

presented to the right, which is written

8:09

with no typos. And it's

8:11

maybe sometimes they make

8:13

the AI do this stuff too

8:15

fast. They're like, AI, I need

8:17

pictures of Willy Wonka on my

8:19

desk pronto. And it's like, pronto?

8:21

Okay. I haven't finished burning up

8:23

yet. I haven't even

8:26

read this whole thing. Okay. Let me

8:28

get out my stenographer's keyboard. Cacotated 8-inch-a-fish-a-carc-a-ton

8:30

sweet-teeth. Did I say sweet-teeth? Fuck, they're

8:32

gonna be so mad at me. I don't have

8:34

a back-space key. They didn't program that one in.

8:37

I like that they fed

8:39

it captivating entertainment. And

8:42

the AI was like, got it. So at

8:44

the top, the banner says, interlining

8:46

entertainment. And then it just says,

8:49

cate-gating. Cacotating.

8:52

The AI is drunk and playing

8:54

telephone with God knows what. Okay,

8:57

but listen, if it was just

8:59

that webpage, we would all be

9:01

the light. We wouldn't be talking about it on the

9:03

show. Listen, we understand everybody's talking

9:05

about this. But there's so many layers

9:07

deeper. I feel like making typos is

9:09

like the least hysterical thing that happened

9:11

here. Well, the least hysterical thing that

9:14

happened here is many hardworking families were

9:16

hoodwinked out of their money. Although

9:18

apparently they have been refunded that, but you

9:21

blew a kid's weekend afternoon with that. That

9:24

is the thing I will tell you

9:26

now as a parent, getting the money

9:28

back, amazing. What you're not gonna get

9:30

back is all the questions that child

9:32

has upon walking in. And you've

9:35

been building up. We're going through a chocolate

9:37

experience. And then the child walks in and

9:39

is like, oh man, this is actually –

9:41

I can pinpoint now when my childhood ended.

9:44

And it was right now. Thank

9:46

you, Willie McDuff. Yeah, it's right here

9:48

when you walk in and you see – it's a

9:52

gigantic warehouse. It

9:54

just has some

9:57

scattered fake Willy Wonka

9:59

decorations. We were

10:02

– every kid there

10:04

got a quarter cup of lemonade

10:07

and a single jelly bean. Yeah.

10:11

Well, Juice, if I could read – can I read from the

10:13

script because I could provide some context of that from

10:15

the script? Oh, Griffin, yeah, I would love that. Thank

10:18

you. So there's a script

10:20

that the AI wrote also for

10:22

this experience, which the actors who

10:25

performed here – Can we stop

10:27

our tabs for a moment? I've

10:30

seen some images of the people forced

10:32

to work as Oompa Loompas, or

10:34

I believe they would be

10:36

called this event Jompa Lompas or

10:38

whatever. They do not

10:40

– they're going through it.

10:43

They are keeping the ink

10:45

of their acting degree in

10:47

their mouth as they work

10:50

this event. No one's having an awesome

10:53

time here except for me reading the

10:55

script because the AI wrote a script,

10:57

okay? I'm going to just read

10:59

a little excerpt of it. Willie McDuff beckoning the

11:01

guests inside. Now, who among you dares to taste

11:04

the fruits of our imagination? Step right up and

11:06

prepare for a flavor adventure unlike any other. The

11:08

guests eagerly approach a table laden with the described

11:10

sweets, each picking their choice with a mix of

11:12

excitement and trepidation. Guest one,

11:14

trying the soup flavored jelly bean. It's

11:16

like dinner in a dessert. Astonishing. Guest

11:19

two, breaking the boogerberry bean. Oh, wow.

11:21

It's oddly gorgeous. How is that possible?

11:23

Laughter and surprise exclamation fill the room

11:26

as the guests indulge in the whimsical

11:28

treats. This kicks ass.

11:30

Yes. If we're going

11:32

to come up with a

11:34

script for this experience that

11:37

provides lines to the audience

11:39

of the experience, that's some

11:41

next-level stuff. Okay,

11:45

I have some punch-ups though on this line.

11:48

When you're worried about, for

11:50

within these ancient walls, works a

11:52

tale not yet told of an

11:55

evil chocolate maker known only as

11:57

the Unknown. The

12:00

AI looked at it and was like, it's

12:02

gotta have a villain in Willy Wonka, that's

12:04

the problem. But we're pretty good. How about

12:07

this? The unknown. Then the

12:09

next line. Trapped out yet, please. This

12:12

fiendish foe has long coveted

12:14

one of my most cherished

12:16

creations, the

12:19

anti-graffiti gobsopper. A

12:25

marvel of confectionary science designed

12:27

to aid, oh, not

12:30

just any soul, but the

12:32

tireless guardians of cleanliness,

12:35

are beloved moms, and

12:37

yes, dads too, but

12:39

especially moms from the

12:41

endless scourge of dirty

12:43

socks strewn about by

12:46

youthful adventurers. You know

12:48

how when you think of graffiti,

12:51

you think of moms picking

12:53

up dirty socks. I

12:56

did want to show, I have, Trav, just

12:58

so you're curious how that all worked out,

13:01

I do, let me check all these darn tabs.

13:04

That's a lot of tabs, oh no, oh

13:06

god no. Describe

13:08

the unknown, please. Describe the unknown.

13:12

The unknown is wearing horrifying

13:15

metallic, like one of those

13:17

blank masks, but

13:19

it's metallic, and with a

13:24

wig that's seen some shit, a

13:26

wig, this is not this wig's

13:28

first performance. Travis, they live

13:30

in the walls of Willy McDuff's

13:32

chocolate factory, can you cut them a

13:35

break up their hairy villain? And I immediately

13:37

pity the unknown so

13:39

much. Yeah, absolutely. Sorry,

13:43

there is a picture here that just

13:45

get by of Pete Davidson and the unknown together on

13:47

a walking day, which was quite nice. That's right. We

13:49

all love the unknown. Trav, here's just a few more

13:52

images from it. It's

13:56

like a wall with a picture of a

13:58

candy house printed on it. Okay, I want

14:01

to talk about that for a second because

14:03

I saw that image. It's like one of

14:05

those like AI generated screen-printed like backdrops, step

14:07

and repeat kind of thing and of

14:11

all the other stuff that happened in this,

14:13

I want to give this one the benefit

14:15

of the doubt that they like myself ordered

14:17

something online without doing any research except the

14:20

moment you're like Oh that works and you

14:22

order it and then that comes there must

14:24

have come a moment. This thing is maybe

14:29

30% the scale it needed to be to cover this wall

14:31

So there must have been a point because AI so far

14:34

can't Tape

14:36

things to walls. There must have been a

14:38

moment where they or or or right

14:43

Coherent. Yes, Willy Wonka fanfiction. Yes, so there

14:45

must have come a moment where human beings

14:47

pinned that to the wall taped it to

14:50

the wall Took a step back and said

14:52

are we just gonna leave it

14:54

like that? Is that? And

14:56

we're done. This is what we're doing This

14:59

is it right and we're just gonna let

15:01

people in here still. So here's what I'm

15:03

excited about Yeah, Willy's

15:06

chocolate experience too. They're gonna have

15:08

worked out so much of this

15:10

stuff Absolutely. The next time they

15:12

do it, Willy Macduff will ride

15:14

again Tana con to fire fest

15:16

to Willy

15:19

Willy's chocolate experience of the mind

15:21

I Do

15:26

want to mint I wanted to mention also

15:28

in the script and this is amazing but

15:30

in the script that the computer made It

15:34

has cues for the audience, too

15:36

Yeah, I noticed that it has

15:38

things like the audience chatter quiets

15:40

down their attention captured by the

15:42

change in Willy Wonka's tone Or

15:45

Willy's tone and intriguing darkness ahead So

15:48

that's what they have to do That's

15:50

what the the audience murmurs affirmatively

15:52

a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation in

15:54

the air Yeah, no, I mean I brought

15:56

this up earlier. I think it's I think

15:59

maybe everybody receives a program like when you go

16:01

to a Catholic church and sometimes they're like, listen, we

16:03

know you're not going to, you don't necessarily

16:05

know how to rock with all this stuff. We

16:07

do like a, we do a ton of shit

16:09

here. You guys did a job for rehearsal and

16:11

that's fine. Yeah. They put it in bold so

16:13

you know, you know, you're not

16:15

Willie McDuff or the unknown. So you should know that

16:18

all the other lines are basically going to fall on

16:20

you. There is a, there is a bubble in lemonade

16:22

room. That's why they get the lemonade in

16:24

the script. The script came up with bubble and lemonade

16:26

room, which in the

16:28

summertime is my whole house.

16:31

Yeah. A bubble, the lemonade room. I

16:33

will say this about the one we

16:35

want to experience. It's still as better

16:37

than the aquarium in Austin. So we,

16:39

Holy shit. Juice shots fired. Shots fired.

16:42

Shots fired at that former coals

16:44

that is now a

16:47

hospice, a hospice facility for very sick

16:49

turtles and fish and sometimes lemurs. This

16:52

is a, this is an aquarium that'll

16:54

let you buy a bag of food

16:56

for any animal you want and then

16:58

not monitor what you do with that

17:00

food. It is like, This is one

17:02

food for all the

17:05

animals. Are you sure? You

17:08

can buy fish. We're all carbon based life

17:10

forms at some point. We're all basically eating

17:12

this thing. You can buy fish to give

17:15

to the birds, then walk to the fish

17:17

and put the fish in with the, the

17:19

live fish. No one is, no one gives

17:21

a shit man. One time I saw, one

17:23

time I saw a big turtle there upside

17:25

down and I was like, you're done. No

17:28

one is ever going to get around to

17:30

you. They had a mermaid doing face paint

17:32

that I was still not sure it was

17:34

an employee. Hell yeah. One time I saw

17:36

Elsa there. What's up. Are you sure? You

17:39

know, known animal per, you know how

17:42

that's the whole deal with Elsa. She's

17:44

hanging out with animals, right? That's their

17:47

own. Listen, I think AI, maybe

17:50

we look, we look at the

17:52

list of things that we are going to

17:54

allow AI to do as the AI adjudicators,

17:56

as the AI oversight panel and

17:59

say, Sort of

18:01

coming up with ideas for small businesses and

18:03

how to execute those ideas Is

18:06

not on the list. That's not good. Actually. Yeah, we

18:08

can run that one off and move on to the

18:10

next one midwifery We're gonna see

18:12

how that one goes with AI probably not so

18:14

great. Yeah, but you got it test new This

18:18

is the AI over that and we have to do

18:20

that stuff. I hate AI. So

18:23

the list is ongoing will spin spaghetti

18:26

harmless, Willy Wonka fanfiction Not

18:30

Blue sky solution hearing how to run an aquarium.

18:32

Yeah, right and probably not midwifery, but we'll check

18:34

back on that This

18:37

is an advice show still and

18:39

our advice is to listen to

18:41

our advice. Yeah, whoa get him

18:43

Whoa, I invited a girl to

18:45

go ice skating this Saturday, but I do not

18:47

know how to skate It's a childhood dream, but

18:49

I've never been able to realize it because

18:51

I live in a fucking desert I

18:53

really want to impress her. How do I learn

18:56

to skate without access to ice until Saturday? We're

18:58

going to the earliest available sessions the ice rate

19:00

that just open. That should be right off ice.

19:03

I Am

19:07

For that bad idea Going

19:10

ice skating in general is it? Yeah. Yes.

19:12

Yeah. Yeah, inviting someone on an ice

19:14

skating date when you don't ice skate

19:17

This is romantic. I will say

19:19

this man. If you're someone who loves

19:21

ice skating Cool, man. Good

19:24

for I'm so happy for you. This isn't

19:26

for you I Get

19:28

it my daughter. I saw this play out

19:31

in real time this this this winter my

19:33

seven-year-old It's like all I want to do all

19:36

I want to do daddy. Let's go ice skating Let's go.

19:38

Oh, she said and so I took her ice

19:40

skating She was on the ice for point

19:43

five seconds and said oh, I don't want to do

19:45

I don't want to do this anymore Because

19:47

once she got there she realized

19:49

the inherent danger the unforgiving nature

19:51

of ice ice. Yeah,

19:53

and Just basically

19:56

the steep steep

19:58

learning curve that is ice

20:00

skate because in order to learn how to ice

20:02

skate you kind of have to let go of

20:04

your attachment to the mortal world. You

20:07

have to convince yourself of like I don't care

20:09

what happens to my body for

20:11

the next hour while I do this because even

20:13

in a best case scenario and you don't fall

20:16

down you will not

20:18

feel good afterwards. There are

20:20

angles, joints, tendons you will

20:22

use that you've never used

20:24

before and your mind your

20:26

body will cry out for

20:29

relief. I took Rachel on an

20:31

ice skating date for a

20:33

wedding anniversary here in DC and we

20:35

watch a ton of hockey and so

20:37

like part of me is like certainly

20:40

through osmosis I will have picked up

20:43

something but then I put those

20:45

big boots on that I

20:47

stopped at the knife boots that stop

20:49

at the wrong point on your leg

20:52

and then got out there and could not

20:54

even stay upright because of my little

20:56

tiny sweet bird ankles that I've got and

21:00

so then she just sort of did

21:02

a few solo laps while I watched

21:04

from the sidelines like you got it

21:06

baby! And what will also happen is

21:08

somehow every other human being there will

21:11

fall into one or two categories either

21:13

lightning just zipping around

21:15

flying past you spinning you around

21:17

like some sort of goofy-esque cartoon

21:19

character trying to win this date

21:22

or the other ones who constantly

21:24

seem to be hurling themselves in

21:26

front of you making you have

21:28

to avoid manslaughter. There should

21:30

be two ranks there should be two ranks

21:32

and there's one for fast one

21:36

for fast and one for falling yeah and if you go

21:38

on the falling one you're gonna get

21:40

run into a lot but if you

21:42

run into anybody it's okay because you're

21:44

at the falling ring. If they could

21:46

set up somehow the equivalent of like

21:48

bowling lane bumpers on the falling ring

21:50

where there's ice but

21:52

there's also two feet of foam

21:55

above it that would be ideal

21:57

for me. This whole skating thing

22:00

Yeah, go off king. I will thank

22:02

you the whole skating kit thing is

22:04

nonsense. Thank you Here's the deal with

22:06

skating okay all skating all

22:09

skating all skating ice

22:11

roller in line skateboarding because that's got

22:13

attitude, but every other kind of skating

22:15

also I think you're probably more afraid

22:17

of you're afraid of offending

22:19

skateboarders more than you are in line scanning

22:21

Have you seen those guys? Have you seen

22:23

those fucking guys? No,

22:25

but here's the thing about it a hundred

22:28

years ago It nothing was

22:30

fun and there wasn't anything that was fun right if

22:32

they had gone to the Wong K experience a hundred

22:34

years ago They would have been losing. They didn't have

22:36

that they didn't have TV. They didn't have Maybe

22:39

radio, but like they didn't have anything fun right

22:41

so if you wanted to do something fun Like

22:45

you could be just staying there like I'm gonna

22:47

die Fun

22:49

to do and someone's like well if you're extremely

22:52

desperate One dumbass thing if you

22:54

do is put wheels on your feet and roll your

22:56

ass down a hill Yeah, off

22:58

that's no I don't want to do

23:00

that. I'm not that desperate for fun

23:02

I got a phone and a TV

23:04

yeah, two TVs if I'm allowed to

23:06

brag for a moment Skating

23:08

is that is the only reason we came with

23:10

skating is we couldn't find any fun same

23:13

with bicycles Okay, we have hours

23:15

now don't need bicycles in the

23:17

work. Okay. Well what? Stepping

23:20

I'm really that one I feel really

23:22

good Okay, no you have the point

23:24

you have the point you I maybe

23:27

Set that about right now. I we're gonna have

23:29

to bring you back in acty I'm not doing

23:31

a classic Justin dig it I will I will

23:34

see that I got a little bit greedy I

23:36

bikes bikes are good I get the idea but

23:38

like skating it's just dangerous because nothing used to

23:40

be fun and now things are fun Yeah, we

23:42

don't need to skate it back in the day. We had to

23:45

do stuff to get brave for war Yeah,

23:47

like and skating is one of those yes Skating

23:49

is one of those things skating was invented by

23:52

the government to make us brave for war But

23:55

I don't I don't that's not my

23:57

reality. And so I don't I

24:01

don't feel good without the terra

24:03

firma beneath these type of eggs in mine. I

24:05

will also say a Thing

24:08

like ice skating where there's numerous times

24:10

in movies TV stories books where somebody

24:12

falls through the ice and that's a

24:14

big dramatic Point in a thing and

24:17

then we see that and we think and you know

24:19

what I want to do on a day that Right

24:22

now it's hard to hard to have a

24:24

conversation get to know somebody on a date

24:27

when you're ice skating around and trying not

24:29

to Die. Yeah, and holding hands for

24:31

support. Oops. No wait. That's incredibly romantic.

24:33

This person needs to be Reaffirmed

24:35

that they made a bad choice. They're saying look

24:38

I made a bad choice. Help me fix it

24:40

Okay, I said that thing about holding hands and

24:42

actually the last time I went ice skating I

24:45

remember the thought that crossed my mind as soon as

24:47

I was slipped sliding away was no one touch me

24:51

I'm a big man. My worries. I start

24:53

going down. I'm pulling whos ever arm. I'm

24:55

holding with Going they're

24:58

going with me or they're losing that arm.

25:00

It's one of those two things the only

25:03

Gambit you have here. Unfortunately,

25:05

I think is to fake sick long day of

25:07

the day. Oh can't do it

25:10

can't ice skate today, I Don't

25:14

want to go into it too deep

25:16

but you can also

25:18

construct yourself a pretty sick assist

25:20

like Get some

25:22

PVC pipe But help you

25:25

Well, okay. I was going more with like a thing

25:28

to help you stand up But now this

25:30

might a robot a skating robot you said

25:32

let me hit you with this Let

25:35

me hit you with even say it in the microphone. Just mix

25:37

it up. Let me hit you with

25:39

this Okay, pee wee's Christmas

25:41

special. Uh-huh. You are gonna step out

25:44

there in your skates And

25:46

you're gonna have a big puffy coat and a big hat

25:48

on that is kind of covering up your appearance And your

25:50

date is gonna be like you ready to go and you'd

25:52

be like, oh, yep Hold on. I have toilet stuff

25:55

and then you dip out and

25:57

then a profession. Who's that coming out?

25:59

It's Michelle Kwan and Michelle Kwan

26:01

is dressed in the same outfit

26:03

you're wearing. Michelle Kwan does like

26:05

everything, man, all of her classic

26:07

shit. And then skates

26:10

off the ice and you have

26:12

to have Michelle Kwan yell more toilet stuff

26:14

as she runs to the bathroom. You come

26:16

back out and it's you

26:18

now. And then and then they're

26:20

like, wow, that's amazing. And you're like, yeah, but I

26:22

can't do it again. Did I put the skates on

26:25

the first time? Before

26:27

the first bathroom. Did I put the skates on? Because

26:30

I'm really worried that even that's not going to

26:33

be possible. Like I don't even know how to

26:35

get to the bathroom. You're

26:37

saying you're going you can't commute. You

26:40

can't. OK, hold on. All right, hold

26:43

on. So she's going to put on a skate. Michelle

26:45

Kwan at the end of her skit has

26:47

to take off the skates and be like,

26:49

fuck, trying to walk

26:52

in these, no one can do

26:54

it. And then she says,

26:56

and these are two, these are perhaps six sizes

26:58

too big for me anyway. I don't know what

27:00

I was thinking. That's cool. That

27:02

could work. You could have a big person pick you up

27:05

and take you to the bathroom. And

27:07

then that's all that's an

27:09

obligation for maybe get a sedan. Do

27:12

you guys ever think about the Nagano Olympics?

27:15

Where every every day

27:18

I had to look up her name

27:20

because it was so cool. But her

27:23

name was Suriya Bonali, I believe, Bonali,

27:26

maybe where she was skating and she

27:28

was like she biffed some of

27:31

her moves and she knew

27:33

she wasn't going to win. So she did a

27:35

backflip. Yeah, and I landed on one skate and

27:37

I'm pretty sure that's like illegal. And they're like,

27:40

I can't do that. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Like you

27:42

can't do that. But it was so cool. She

27:44

was like, I know I'm not going to win.

27:47

So let me show you this cool thing I

27:49

know how to do. Where are you allowed to

27:51

do backflips in the world of sports? It's kind

27:53

of shitty if you can't do it. I think

27:55

it sucks. Yeah. If you can't do it or

27:58

basketball or baseball, they get you for access. celebrated.

28:01

Flipping, yeah. Now what if you, I mean maybe if you

28:03

were so mad that you did a backflip they wouldn't get

28:05

you for it, but I think even then it's gonna be

28:07

on Sportsman like conduct. Did you know they're

28:09

getting, the scientists think we're getting close to

28:11

the quintuple? People, nobody's ever done

28:14

a quintuple in ice skating. You do a

28:16

quadruple, you do a triple, and they're like,

28:18

for a long time they're like human beings

28:20

can not get the high end speed to

28:22

do a quintuple. And now they're like, listen,

28:25

they're getting real close, we think they're gonna

28:27

land the quintuple soon. I watched

28:29

Yuri on Ice and I got real into it

28:31

and I was looking up and watching videos of

28:33

it. It's very exciting stuff guys. I, it would

28:35

be cool to accidentally do a sextuple and then

28:37

be like, I don't know how I,

28:40

I don't know like, I don't know what happened to me up

28:42

there. I think there may have been a bit

28:44

of a small tornado in the room that did

28:47

pick me up and make me do two extra

28:49

spins. I don't know how to do five. Can't

28:51

do five. Can't do five. You

28:53

would get so dizzy. I feel like if you

28:55

did a quintuple you would blackout from G-Force. I

28:57

think you would have to hover for a second.

28:59

There has to be a moment where people would

29:01

be like, huh? And then you come down just

29:04

enough that they're like, that didn't

29:06

seem, he seemed to freeze in air while

29:08

he, oh, oh, land it. You know what

29:10

sucks about ice skating? What Griffin? What

29:12

Griffin? You can't do a back flip and they'll say

29:14

like, no

29:18

point, too cool, no point. Yeah. If

29:21

I get out there and I jump

29:23

in the air and I spin around

29:25

five times and land unconscious or dead

29:27

from the G-forces, I'm not going

29:30

to win the gold medal for that. There

29:33

has to be a, I get that there's like

29:35

a rubric and you have to follow the rubric

29:37

even though sometimes they definitely don't to keep things

29:39

fair for everyone. I think if someone gets out

29:41

there and does a back flip or does a

29:43

quintuple and passes out or dies from the G-Force,

29:45

you have to be able to come together as

29:47

a judging panel and be like, that's a gold.

29:50

If we don't give that the gold medal, like

29:52

what are we all doing? Here's what would be

29:54

amazing if that, if that became a stated

29:57

on the book's rule. You would

29:59

see. somebody start their skate right

30:02

and biff the first couple like moves

30:04

and they're like well hey

30:06

guys pay attention because I'm willing to bet

30:09

he's going for it yeah

30:11

that would be great the commentators will

30:13

be like okay ooh another blown Lutz

30:15

do you think maybe dude we got

30:17

the quince up will coming up we

30:20

see his family wildly just like no

30:22

no no no no oh he put

30:24

his mouth guard in he's going for

30:26

it he's

30:30

signed a DNR that his wife has all

30:32

right helmet on let's do it everybody wet the

30:35

ice wait

30:41

no one look you can't do it

30:43

if we're looking everyone

30:45

avert your eyes from the ice he's

30:47

calling for his ambodie he wants a

30:49

full Zambodie before he tries it again

30:51

he's taking a bony time out we

30:53

got a bony time out and I

30:56

suggest they ever do all

30:58

the ice skaters try to

31:00

get away from one with the Zamboni yeah

31:03

they did oh wait where those

31:05

bambodies chasing their slices yeah it's like a

31:08

game where like one person has a Zamboni

31:10

and there's a bunch of ice skaters and

31:12

the Zamboni is trying to get the people

31:14

yeah just yeah one welcome to wild and

31:16

crazy kids olympics edition um can't do you

31:18

guys remember those toys like a fairy princess

31:20

on a little stick and you would pull

31:22

the rip cord and her wings would spin

31:24

around really fast and she would fly up

31:27

in the air like a helicopter then they'd

31:29

go into a fire and they sometimes go

31:31

into a fire delighting a nation yeah what

31:33

if ice skaters could

31:35

have long sort of wings

31:37

on their arms and then that way when they

31:39

did a when they do a

31:41

big spin in the air anything is

31:44

possible I

31:46

think that once that skater knows they're gonna lose

31:48

and they're not worried about getting this qualified we

31:50

should have like the equivalent of rodeo clowns that

31:53

come out and like maybe wrap a big string around

31:55

them as Griffin is suggesting and then pull as hard

31:57

as they can to get him no no I'm

32:00

not sure. Oh, sorry, I thought you. All

32:02

right, well, hold on one second here. I'm saying

32:05

we wrap them up on like a Hot Wheels

32:07

track and we let them go. Yeah,

32:09

for sure. Should we go

32:11

to the money zone? We just talked about ice skating. A

32:14

lot, yeah. A long time. A lot. Let's

32:18

go. What's going on? It's a, it's a, it's

32:20

a. It's a, it's a. It's

32:23

a. It's a. It's a. Square

32:28

space. It's a. It's

32:31

a. Okay. All right. Tell

32:33

me more. I don't think I should have to. Wow. Yeah.

32:36

Well, can you try? Okay. Yeah.

32:38

Well, here's the thing about Squarespace, guys. It's

32:40

an all-in-one platform for building your brand and

32:42

growing your business online. What's that mean? That

32:44

sounds like a bunch of gibberish to

32:47

me. Well, let me tell you what it means. It means it's

32:49

all in one place. You don't need to

32:52

pull stuff from here. Go to this website to

32:54

learn about this thing and build it all in

32:56

this place. It's all in one place. And

32:59

you're going to sell socks there or pants

33:03

or shirts or gloves or hats.

33:05

Love all that stuff. Mittens or

33:08

non-clothing items. You could do anything

33:10

on this website. You could stand

33:12

out, engage your audience, sell

33:14

anything, even your time. I've

33:17

used Squarespace not only to build a

33:20

tribute site to my dog Buttercup, Buttercup

33:22

is a very good girl.com, but a lot of

33:25

other stuff. I should probably stop pushing that because

33:27

I haven't updated it in like eight years and

33:29

I don't think it's the best showcase for everything

33:31

that Squarespace has to offer. She's

33:33

not even ready to use all anymore. A lot

33:35

of problematic content on Buttercup. Well, she has big

33:37

ideas, you know, and sometimes the world's just not

33:39

ready. Yeah. She was the first person

33:41

to come up with looks maxing. And

33:44

listen, it's a problem. I don't know what that is. I

33:47

don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

33:49

no, no, no, no, no, no. So you can create pro-level videos

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launch, use offer code mybrother to save 10%

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off your first purchase of a website or domain.

34:16

I told Jesse if anyone's listening, I don't

34:18

endorse looks maxing, can't stress that enough.

34:21

Wow, I mean self care is good. I

34:24

don't know, okay. Now I

34:26

wanna talk about ZocDoc because when

34:28

I moved across the country

34:30

to our nation's pristine capital. For a better

34:32

life for your family. For a better life

34:35

for my family. I

34:37

knew there were gonna be certain things that I was going

34:39

to have to replace in my life

34:42

or rebuild things

34:45

like any kind of social

34:47

network or community

34:49

here and that one

34:51

I haven't done. But doctors, yes,

34:53

check, thanks to ZocDoc. ZocDoc makes it

34:56

wicked easy to find doctors for whatever

34:58

the fuck you need them for. Well,

35:01

no, hold on, I shouldn't say that. If

35:03

you, they can't, I

35:07

don't know, they can't give you like extra, extra arms

35:09

like a Dr. Octopus. But you don't know that, wait,

35:11

hold on, do you know that? I

35:13

guess not, no, I guess not. But if you need to

35:15

find like a doctor for

35:17

another specific thing that is standard,

35:21

then ZocDoc can do that for you. I

35:23

used it in DC to find a few

35:25

different specialists. And it's

35:27

super easy, it's a free app and website.

35:29

You can search and compare highly rated in

35:31

network doctors near you and

35:33

instantly book appointments with them

35:35

online. It's

35:38

wicked easy. It's very complicated finding

35:40

a doctor for a thing in

35:43

a city like DC that like takes

35:45

your insurance and has

35:47

availability within the next eight months.

35:50

And ZocDoc has been no joke the best way

35:52

for me to do that. The typical

35:54

wait time to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is between just

35:56

24 to 72 hours, that's it. You

35:59

can even. score same day appointments. I

36:02

can't recommend ZocDoc enough. Go

36:05

to zocdoc.com/my brother and download

36:07

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36:09

then find a book a

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top rated doctor today. That's

36:14

zocdoc.com/my brother. zocdoc.com/my brother. Max

36:21

Fun Drive 2024. Max

36:24

Fun Drive? What about it? It'll

36:28

be the best time for someone to support the podcasts

36:30

they love. Oh

36:32

yes, Drive exclusive gifts, special events, and

36:34

of course all the amazing bonus

36:36

content. Bonus content, yeah. So

36:39

what's on your mind? Check. It

36:42

starts March 18th and it's only two weeks long.

36:46

And check. Well,

36:48

what if they miss it? Well,

36:51

they should follow Max Fun on social

36:53

media or sign up for

36:55

the newsletter at maximumfun.org/ newsletter so

36:58

they don't miss it. Otherwise,

37:01

checkmate. Who

37:05

guests on Jordan Jesse Go? I mean,

37:07

we could just list Pat Noswald, Kumail

37:10

Najani, Maria Bamford, whatever. We couldn't remember

37:12

all of them. So we

37:14

asked my kids. Uh, famous

37:16

people? How famous? I don't

37:18

know, pretty famous. Uh,

37:22

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

37:24

really tiny celebrities who would go

37:26

on this train

37:28

wreck instead of it like a big talk show. There's

37:32

just a bunch of people on your show. Jordan

37:41

Jesse Go, a comedy show for grownups.

37:48

We go to the wizard's house. They said

37:50

the top of a mountain in the clouds.

37:53

I actually left my baseball glove there, so that

37:55

would be great. You play baseball with the wizard?

37:57

Sometimes. Yeah. I'm

38:00

a father figure in my life. And

38:02

so it's just nice to play catch with someone

38:04

who is proud of me no matter what. Yeah,

38:06

and he can make the ball float telekinetic. It

38:08

makes me feel good. And the ball screams the

38:11

whole time. The ball can scream.

38:13

Like, please don't do this. I used to be

38:15

human and this wizard cursed me. Yeah.

38:18

And he'll do it to you too once he grows tired of you. Yeah.

38:21

Just funny stuff like that that he makes it say. It's

38:24

hysterical. Brian sent this in, thanks

38:26

Brian. It's how to compliment a song. We've

38:29

definitely talked about this before, what

38:31

to do when someone plays a song at you and

38:34

how to respond to that. And now Wikihow is

38:36

gonna get a hand on this ball. Someone just

38:38

sang or played you an amazing song and you're

38:40

absolutely awestruck. But how do you tell them that?

38:42

How can you say that you- Oh,

38:44

okay. So this is like the person who's,

38:47

they are making the music, not like

38:49

putting a song on something and saying,

38:51

I just heard this song. They are

38:53

the music makers. They

38:56

are the dreamers of dreams. Yes, they are not trying

38:58

to- I don't define myself that way, Justin.

39:00

Thank you though. They're not trying to

39:02

garden state you in a hospital

39:05

waiting room. So these are some

39:07

really helpful prompts, dudes. And you

39:09

can all use this. There's so many,

39:11

it's exhaustive and exhausting. I

39:13

really liked the melody. Identify something praiseworthy

39:16

in the song. I loved when you

39:18

changed the tone. Dude, dude,

39:20

that riff was incredible. Oh, none

39:22

of those sound sincere. Yeah.

39:25

It might be your voice, Griffin.

39:29

Dude, that riff was

39:31

incredible. Oh, that's better. Do you think what

39:33

about the melody again? I

39:36

loved when you changed the tone. I

39:40

really liked the melody. I

39:44

think that melody is the worst one. Yeah,

39:46

the melody doesn't- The more specific you can

39:48

get, I loved that 451

39:51

chord progression that you did. Was

39:54

that a diminished, a D minor

39:56

diminished nine? I like that.

39:58

Make some weird face you made when you hear that high note. Yeah,

40:02

I'm so honored you shared this with me. Thank

40:04

the artist for sharing this with you. Don't

40:06

do that. You didn't have

40:08

to share that. Thank you for trusting me.

40:11

Yeah, that was so special. I'm grateful I got to

40:13

hear it. What a

40:16

terrible way to go. Don't do that one. Hey,

40:19

thanks for sharing this with me. That's

40:21

something that you would say after someone

40:23

has trusted you with some kind of

40:25

trauma that's happened to them. Not like,

40:27

hey listen to this song I wrote,

40:29

like hey, that was very vulnerable of

40:31

you. There's an undertone to that.

40:33

That's clearly not ready for prime time. You're

40:37

so brave. Thank you for being

40:39

brave enough to share that with me. I

40:41

really like it. It's so important that we

40:43

all have the confidence to be terrible in

40:45

front of our friends, and it means the

40:47

world to me that you trust me with

40:49

how awful you were at that. I feel

40:51

like there's only one compliment that is actually

40:53

effective and meaningful, and

40:56

it's the one that you absolutely won't

40:58

want to give. Which

41:00

is? Which is? You've got to play

41:02

another one. You've got to play me something else.

41:05

You've got to keep these good vibes going. Now

41:07

keep the party alive, man. What are you doing?

41:09

Exactly. If the next words out of your mouth

41:11

aren't, you've got to pull –

41:13

you've got to know more. You've got to have

41:15

another one for me. I know exactly what this

41:17

score is. That's when my kids try the cake

41:19

I made, and they're like, oh, delicious. And I'm

41:21

like, you want a piece? They're like, nope. I

41:23

do not. You could also say

41:26

like, oh, you know who's going to love

41:28

this? My uncle who's a big time record

41:30

producer. Yes. That's another

41:32

huge compliment. That's mean. Why would

41:34

you lie about the big time record producer, uncle?

41:36

Oh, no. I have an uncle who's a big

41:38

time record producer. Okay. Yeah. You

41:41

don't. Why

41:43

is my hit single Party Panda

41:46

not a bigger smash? Well,

41:48

Justin, I told you that before that.

41:51

He listened to it. He heard it. And

41:53

he thought the world's not ready for it.

41:56

He thinks that if you played Party Panda

41:58

– That's the whole chorus. The world's

42:00

not ready for the party panda, but

42:02

here he comes, irregardless. That was the

42:05

whole... He agrees with you. He's worried

42:07

that if you unleash party panda on

42:09

the world... He gets it. I was

42:11

like, he gets it. Yeah. Yeah.

42:15

But he said he listens to it on his

42:17

own every day, and everybody at his office at

42:19

Big Time Records loves it. And,

42:22

Juice, I heard from him, it's huge

42:24

in Switzerland. It is blowing up the

42:26

Swiss garage scene. That is bizarre to

42:29

me because of the third verse, which

42:32

is just about his distrust of the

42:34

Swiss. Yeah, and then the irony. Yeah, and

42:36

then the irony. Okay, that makes sense. All right.

42:38

Hey, guys, you light up a room when you

42:40

sing. Express your

42:42

admiration for the song and them. That

42:45

melody will brighten even the darkest rooms. Want

42:48

to play that at my wedding, because it

42:50

could never rain with that sunshine. That's

42:54

a big swing, though, isn't it? If

42:56

some of these, if someone I know

42:58

says this to me, I'm looking for

43:00

sharp objects because I need to defend

43:02

myself against a bad person. This

43:06

is not a good actor. That's what I think

43:08

a human being says. Yeah, this is not a people.

43:10

I like how it made the room physically brighter

43:12

when you did that. It was a little bit dim

43:14

in here, and I want to play that at

43:16

my wedding because it could never rain with all of

43:18

this sunshine that you've made with your

43:21

song. I hate that song with your music. Another

43:23

one? No, thank you. No, I'm good. I'm

43:25

sorry if we get too bright in here and I'd be blinded. I

43:29

don't know if you guys know this, but I

43:31

did get my degree in acting

43:34

from the University of Oklahoma, Boomer Center.

43:37

I don't think I could

43:39

deliver the line, I

43:42

want to play this song at

43:44

my wedding because it could never

43:46

rain with that much sunshine in

43:48

such a way that another human

43:50

being would believe

43:53

it, let alone appreciate

43:55

it. Yeah, I

43:58

mean in the same way that I couldn't go to

44:00

school. someone the way I am dressed right now and

44:02

say, hi, I'm tall Batman.

44:05

I'm a new Batman who's very tall.

44:07

Yeah. Like that's, that's, it's not a

44:10

thing that they could be, that you can't deliver

44:12

that line and convince them of it. Thank

44:14

you for writing my feelings. Say how much you really

44:17

put this on. No, no, no. Travis,

44:19

just, Travis and Justin. Yes. Thank

44:23

you. I couldn't have said it. I couldn't have

44:25

said it better myself. This will connect with so

44:27

many people. This song's about

44:29

sandwiches. Yeah, man. You

44:32

really sums up how much I fucking love

44:34

sandwiches. I, it's like I wrote it. In

44:37

fact, give me that guitar. Yeah. I'll

44:41

be suing you for emotional theft. Yeah.

44:44

Uh, okay. So this is where we're starting

44:46

to get into the meat of it. The

44:48

way you convey emotion is incredible. Mention the

44:50

deeper undertones of the song. Um,

44:53

this is predicated on those

44:55

existing and you finding them.

44:57

Uh, but here's some quotes that you could

44:59

just probably say one of these two, cause

45:02

I think I've, any song falls into one

45:04

of these two categories. I can feel your

45:06

grief in this slow, soft, slow pitch and

45:08

repetition. Oh, don't, no, no, no. You literally

45:11

sound like what I imagined happiness to sound

45:13

like. What? You literally

45:15

sound like what I

45:18

imagine happiness to sound

45:20

like. Yes. Yes.

45:24

We can find that I've sat around and saw

45:26

it. What does happiness sound like?

45:28

Which may be the most deranged

45:31

thing. I think it's a beautiful

45:33

meditation trap. I think it is. What is

45:35

happiness? Say things. What is, I

45:38

think it's an aesthetic. You know, that's

45:42

a, the laughter of my children and that song by

45:44

my friend, Jimmothy, uh, about

45:46

the sky or whatever. Yeah.

45:49

He's got that one that's called,

45:51

um, no

45:53

more Kim trails. And

45:56

I feel like I wrote it because of all

45:58

the message of it. chord progression really,

46:00

it really explores his

46:03

grief. So

46:05

impressed by you. Admire the artist's ability to

46:07

write a song. You continue to

46:09

amaze me, is there anything you can't do?

46:11

Boring, that beat is out of the world!

46:14

That beat is out of the world. Compliment

46:17

of specific part of the song. That

46:19

melody at the end hit hard. There's

46:21

something so special about that bridge that

46:25

is definitely gonna get you, I

46:28

mean as a songwriter, I feel

46:30

like I would appreciate that if you

46:33

get very granular and say something about

46:35

how that ostinato

46:38

was out of the world and

46:40

very exciting. I think

46:42

one of the things that this article is

46:44

not taking advantage of is the power of

46:46

the ellipses. Because

46:48

you could just hit like that bridge. Yes.

46:53

Right? Leave something to the imagination.

46:55

Yes, right? They're gonna fill that in. The

46:59

sound of happiness. Again

47:02

though, we got another binary here

47:04

because again, all songs fall into one of these

47:07

categories. You could say, the fast tempo has put

47:09

me in the best mood. Describe the mood of

47:11

the song. When an artist creates music, they create

47:13

expression and there's no better way to compliment their

47:15

work than by complimenting that. So

47:18

two examples here, again, any song, you should be

47:20

able to use one of these two. Girl,

47:23

that low rhythm has me feeling

47:25

so zen right now. That

47:27

low rhythm? That low rhythm. What

47:29

could a low rhythm be? It's

47:32

gonna be like, boom, boom, turn,

47:34

boom, boom, turn. I feel

47:37

like I could run a marathon to that

47:39

intense beat. I

47:41

mean, to be fair, I would rather run a

47:43

marathon to a low rhythm. An

47:46

issue though, if you're listening to a song with like

47:49

a good, I don't know, 105 BPM, that's

47:52

an edge case for either one of

47:54

these. You know what? I have been

47:56

going about this article all the wrong

47:59

way, judging it. before

48:01

I thought about what it's really teaching me

48:03

is the right way to compliment a song

48:06

someone has just played for me in such

48:08

a way that they'll never play another song

48:10

for me again. I'll never have to hear

48:12

another song from your friend. Because any one

48:14

of these compliments, I

48:16

don't think that friend is coming back

48:18

to you for input and feedback on

48:20

their art anymore. You,

48:23

okay, that's interesting. I

48:26

wonder if there's a way of doing it that's less

48:28

mean where it's like, that's

48:30

the best song you

48:32

or anyone could ever write. You

48:35

gotta stop now while

48:37

you are ahead. This is the

48:40

effect. I think there's clearly

48:42

being completely inept at music. If

48:44

I'm like, man, I love the

48:46

low rhythm, I

48:48

thought the bridge really connected the beginning and ending

48:50

of the song. I

48:53

enjoyed all the arpeggios. The

48:56

number of notes used was impressive. Was it

48:58

odd or even? Did you do an odd

49:00

amount of notes or an even amount of

49:02

notes? Oh, good choice. Perhaps it was Kecha

49:05

who said, this song makes me wanna fuck

49:07

in my car. Yeah. And that

49:09

is the highest praise. When I hear a song with a

49:11

rhythm that low and

49:14

a four-four time signature, I have to fuck

49:16

in my car. I could waltz to that

49:18

or fuck to it. Nice work, bud. One

49:20

in my car. I wanna waltz

49:23

in my car. I wanna

49:25

waltz to you in my car. I wanna waltz in my

49:27

car. Hello, new bop alert?

49:29

Uplift an artist with an astonished gasp.

49:31

If you know the singer, be a

49:33

little comedic with your compliment. Don't be

49:35

comedic with your compliment. Don't do that.

49:38

Don't do that. Hello, is it time to

49:40

call X Factor? I don't know.

49:42

Is it time? It's not on anymore.

49:45

Is it time? It's probably not time to call

49:47

X Factor. So guess we know where the next

49:49

year has. Well, I may get a question. Why

49:52

not? Hello, time to call X Factor. Hello, is

49:54

it time to call X Factor? I don't know.

49:57

Is it? I'm asking you. You're putting it on them at

49:59

that point. The next hit has been hiding.

50:01

Hmm, my mind? Why

50:04

have you been hiding this? Hey, how

50:06

come you're fucking hiding? Why are you being so shady

50:09

right now? Why are you sharing your hit with the

50:11

world? That's bullshit,

50:13

man. You're being selfish. You knew I was

50:15

depressed last week. You could have played this

50:17

Sunshine for me then. You waited

50:19

till now? What the fuck? This

50:21

fast tempo could have made me go crazy when I

50:23

was sad last week. You knew I was fucking in

50:26

my car last week and I was doing it in

50:28

an unmotivated manner. Last so basically

50:30

at best. And I called you and

50:32

I said, do you have anything? Anything

50:35

that could motivate me to fucking my car better. And

50:37

you said, no, not. But you told me you were

50:39

working on this song for two weeks. God

50:42

damn it. I

50:45

got a horrible, horrible review on that website

50:47

I used to do that. I do.

50:53

One of the last things here is, can you play

50:55

it again? Ask an artist to perform this song again.

50:57

Please sing it again. That would be totally on repeat

50:59

during my morning routine. Play it again, but slower. Play

51:02

it again feels like a cheat to put

51:04

on here. Cause like, yeah, obviously,

51:07

but like that's, you've lost. You

51:09

lost the game. Yeah.

51:12

You know, I'm just not ready to

51:14

get feedback on it. I need to

51:16

digest this a little bit. Yeah. Whoo.

51:20

Gosh, that fast tempo has put me in the best mood. Yeah.

51:23

As you really lit up a room. Man.

51:26

Quick. I love that. Talk about it.

51:28

We eat out of the world. I

51:31

want a munch squad. Blah,

51:33

blah, blah, blah, blah. I want

51:36

too much. A lot. Blah,

51:38

blah, blah, blah, blah. Is a quick, quick alert. This

51:40

is an alert. And

51:43

sometimes these alerts are so

51:45

you can act on this fast. Sometimes it's so

51:48

a million people don't email me. I'll let you

51:50

guess about this one. It's not pizza. It's cheetah.

51:53

KFC is bringing the global best seller

51:55

to US menus for the first time

51:58

February 26th. I

52:01

saw it, Justin. I thought it was a reference to

52:03

Jesus the way you said it the first time. No,

52:05

it's not Jesus. That's different. This is cheetza. Okay.

52:08

Starting February 26 for a limited time,

52:10

KFC is introducing the international smash hit

52:13

the cheetza. It's a

52:16

100% white

52:18

meat, extra crispy fried chicken fillets

52:21

topped with zesty marinara sauce, melty mozzarella

52:23

cheese, and crispy pepperoni. We have to

52:25

have talked about chinsa before, right? Yes,

52:27

because it came from— Okay.

52:30

It came to us from the Philippines in 2015,

52:32

and it has been in a lot

52:35

of different countries since then, including Korea,

52:37

Taiwan, India, Thailand, Germany,

52:39

Spain, and Mexico, among

52:41

other countries. Now, finally,

52:44

it has been beta tested for

52:47

all those other beta countries, and now we're

52:49

bringing it home to the

52:51

big dogs. We are ready for

52:53

the cheetza, let me tell you. Let's

52:57

see, fried chicken and pizza collaborated

53:00

to create something even better. I'm

53:03

glad those two finally got together. By

53:05

the way, they've had such huge and

53:08

storied careers, and I've been like, when

53:10

are pizza and fried chicken going to

53:12

collaborate? And now they have, according

53:15

to Nick Chavez, the CMO of KFC U.S.

53:20

That's what it says, CMO KFC U.S. The

53:22

fan favorite mashup is finally available

53:24

in the U.S. after making its

53:26

way around the world. Try

53:29

it while you can, presumably

53:31

until they are arrested. They

53:35

turned a one-store in New York

53:37

City, which it's labeled here as

53:40

the pizza capital of the U.S.,

53:42

into a one-of-a-kind chizurrios. Chizurrios. Yeah,

53:47

if I ate one of these, I'd have chizurrios

53:49

for a week, man. How

53:53

long do you think the people at KFC

53:55

went back and forth about whether or not

53:57

they felt comfortable calling New York City the

53:59

best? pizza capital of the world. Oh

54:02

they had to definitely run they did some A-B

54:04

testing on that for sure. So

54:07

that is it. Even then you know

54:10

there was somebody was like it's gonna

54:12

hurt the Chicago market. What are you

54:14

guys now this is a

54:16

really really good question for y'all. I

54:19

described the menu item to you how much

54:21

will you pay for a regular pizza and

54:24

it's two Patty is two chickens

54:27

chicken fillets. So she's a cheese

54:29

pizza or we get to a

54:31

pepper on two great

54:33

meats finally coming together eight ninety nine.

54:36

All right. I

54:38

mean I would rather not pay I don't

54:41

want it but if I were to want

54:43

it I would say probably I'm gonna say

54:45

eleven ninety nine. Wow it's eleven dollars guys

54:47

he split the uprights that's amazing. Eleven dollars

54:49

to just ten ninety nine. Now there's a

54:52

small one for six fifty nine and there

54:54

is the radio. Well you didn't tell me

54:56

that Justin cause sometimes I

54:58

just want a little cheese. Well

55:01

now you can have it Trav. Enjoy

55:03

the cheese on its own or plus

55:05

up the experience with the combo deal

55:08

which includes the cheese secret recipe

55:10

fries in a medium. Plus

55:12

up your cheese. It's

55:15

super good plus good times when you.

55:17

Every girl plus

55:19

up your cheats on the KFC Cheats

55:22

area by the way the one in New York

55:24

it offers only one menu item. Apple

55:27

seeds. Apple seeds by the

55:30

way. I have not seen a single jpeg and

55:39

I'm looking at a lot of them of this

55:41

thing in the wild where the cheese is even

55:43

remotely melted not with my worst

55:45

enemy's mouth am I going to eat

55:48

wet chicken with crumbly cheese falling off

55:50

of it no fucking way

55:52

man. I'm down for a lot of garbage

55:54

that we talk about here in this segment

55:57

not with my worst foes mouth

55:59

ever. Me neither because they don't

56:01

open till 1045. So

56:04

I can't get your doordash order going right now.

56:07

Yeah. Hey, thanks so much for listening to

56:09

our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself and

56:11

are going to treat yourself to a chita

56:14

for lunch. They have a vegan one. It's

56:16

called staying at home. Oh,

56:19

I get it. I see what you're

56:21

saying, man. We've

56:23

got some exciting announcements everybody. First of all, it's a

56:25

new month, which means new merch. We've

56:28

got a fungalore sticker pack designed

56:30

by Dana Wagner, who is at

56:32

Dana Wags on Dana dot Wags

56:34

on Instagram. Naming of the Year

56:36

poster designed by Samara Jeddwa, who

56:40

is Samara Jeddwa on Instagram. We've got

56:42

the little sailor man pen of Griffin.

56:45

If you don't want it,

56:47

I don't know what's broken inside of you. Ten

56:49

percent of all proceeds this month will go

56:52

to the Foundation for Black Women's Wellness,

56:54

which works to radically transform black women's health

56:56

by creating a world where black women and

56:58

girls live long, happy and thriving lives defined

57:01

by healthy minds, bodies and spirit. So

57:03

go check that out at macroymerch.com. Also,

57:06

in case you missed it, we're coming to Chicago

57:08

and C2E2. We're

57:10

doing two live shows in April on April 24th. We're

57:13

doing My Brother, My Brother Me, April 25th. We're doing

57:15

The Adventure Zone and then April 26th through the 28th.

57:17

We're going to be at C2E2. C2E2

57:20

badges are available now, but you do not

57:23

need a badge to attend the live show. Tickets

57:25

for the shows are on sale now. You

57:28

can go to bit.ly slash Macroy

57:30

Tours for more information and tickets.

57:34

Also, I stream over

57:36

on Twitch at twitch.tv slash the Travis

57:38

Macroy. We also do streams and put

57:40

up video content and a bunch of

57:42

stuff over on YouTube. If

57:44

you search for Macroy Family, you can also follow

57:47

Macroy Family on Instagram to get

57:49

a lot of information and stuff right to

57:51

your phone. Hey, I want

57:53

to thank Montaigne for the wild

58:00

because I've got the beginning beginning and middle and

58:02

end of every episode of our show. But

58:05

you can listen to it whenever you want also

58:08

and you should because it's a great song and a

58:10

great person. And I would love to hear if

58:12

Fungalore would hear a wish

58:14

today. Can I read this one? Yeah, please.

58:16

I wish you would. Okay.

58:20

Oh, I wish my cat

58:22

would knock it off. My

58:26

name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis

58:29

McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's

58:31

been my brother, my brother and me. He's your

58:33

dad. And

58:56

I wish my cat would knock it off.

58:58

I wish my cat would knock it off.

59:08

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59:10

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