0:00

The McElroy brothers are not experts

0:03

and their advice should never be followed. Travis

0:06

insists he's a sexpert, but

0:08

if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen

0:10

it. Also, this show

0:12

isn't for kids, which I mention

0:14

only so the babies out there will know

0:16

how cool they are for listening. What's

0:18

up, you cool baby? One, two,

0:20

three, four! It's the

0:23

start of something beautiful

0:27

A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's

0:29

ripened into a precious friendship I

0:33

could've never seen what was coming for me

0:36

Hangs at the skate block,

0:38

hangs by the beach My

0:40

life, it feels like Life!

0:46

Ahh! It's

0:48

better, it's better with you My

0:51

life! Ahh! It's

0:54

better, it's better with you

0:57

This is true, ahh! It's

1:00

better, it's better with you My

1:03

life! Ahh!

1:08

It's better with you Hello

1:11

everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, me and advice

1:13

show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin

1:15

McElroy. What up, Travnation?

1:17

I'm your middle-est brother. You gotta stop!

1:21

What up, Travnation? It's so

1:24

loud! I realize now the problem,

1:26

Travnation. You guys stop

1:28

moving so much. You are a wild

1:30

man with the music. What up, Travnation?

1:32

It's me, your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy.

1:34

Justin and I are like statues. We're

1:37

like statues? You're very boring people, I

1:39

agree. One fist away.

1:42

I don't like this. Just hold your fist

1:44

right there. Wait, tell me, say your name

1:46

now. My name is

1:48

Griffin McElroy. I'm fucking Stone Cold

1:50

not moving this entire 55- Stone

1:53

Cold Steve Austin, Griffin McElroy. I'm Stone

1:55

Cold Steve Austin. If I drink one beer as

1:57

fast as Mr. Cold does, I

2:00

would go into cardiac

2:02

arrest and I would die.

2:05

I have a really topically important question for

2:07

you. Do you guys ever think

2:09

about how in the matrix Oh

2:12

cool. When Mr. Morpheus is like, hey, do

2:14

you wanna take this red pill and like

2:16

wake up or this blue

2:18

pill and stay asleep? That's

2:21

basically like Nyquil and Dayquil. I

2:23

guess it is that that's always been my question,

2:26

Travis. Everybody sees that and they're like, it's a

2:28

symbol. The red pill is like, fuck the system.

2:30

Blue pill is like, I wanna eat that good

2:32

Joey pants steak for the rest of eternity. But

2:35

what I'm asking is what is this medicine

2:40

that this stranger is giving me? Cause

2:43

it's gonna do, it's not just the color. I

2:45

have to drive home after this. Is

2:47

it gonna impede that? Yeah,

2:49

also I took some Benadryl earlier.

2:52

Is this going to, is there

2:54

going to be an interaction between these drugs?

2:56

I don't think Mr. Morpheus knows the answer

2:58

to that fucking question. It

3:00

would have been great if Neo had been like, I'll take the red

3:02

pill and do you have any

3:04

applesauce to help me? I'm not really

3:06

good. That's cool. You put it into

3:08

peanut butter for me. I'm not good

3:10

at drawing. I saw like the whole

3:13

thing. Got an chewable form, right? You're

3:15

like, maybe like I could drink it

3:17

and then have a lollipop afterwards to

3:19

cover the taste. Yeah, sure.

3:23

Can I tell you guys a story? I

3:26

love stories. My cat fell

3:28

off the balcony. She's

3:30

okay. That's important. For

3:32

the red, white and blue America.

3:36

Is it like now? It's more like we saw

3:38

the cat out on the porch and then we

3:40

noticed the cat went around and then we found

3:42

the cat outside in the backyard. So it wasn't

3:44

like, we weren't there. We didn't see it. No,

3:46

it was just the cat and she was absolutely

3:48

freaked out. Cause the internet loves kitty cat fails.

3:50

And nothing made it fall. Cause if I was

3:53

a cat and I just fell for no reason,

3:56

I would, how I show my

3:58

face at the kitty cat meeting. So

4:01

we checked her out and neither of us are vets and

4:03

I just kind of felt like Sydney should be the one

4:05

making the call. So she's a doctor. You

4:07

touch for bones? That's sort of my go to is the animal

4:10

injured thing. It's like let me try and touch for bones real

4:12

quick. She does.

4:15

And it feels like bones to me. With my dogs

4:17

it ends up being like I don't know they're eating.

4:19

A lot of the time like that's the like. Yeah,

4:21

sure. I mean you're eating. So as

4:23

I was getting into bed I had equipped

4:25

all five of my sleep talismans. I

4:28

was way over my load limit. I wasn't getting out

4:30

of bed. Did you lock them into your sleep gauntlet?

4:33

Yeah, I was locked in. And

4:35

then as I'm like the sweet

4:37

angel is coming to take me to Sam's bed. I

4:39

hear Sydney say I'm just going to stay up for

4:42

a couple more hours to make sure she's okay. He's

4:44

like okay I'm going to the vet. We're going to

4:46

the 24 hour. Get off the talismans. No way. So

4:49

I unequip all of them. I go to

4:51

the 24 hour vet that is I

4:53

kid you not a

4:55

mile past Camden Park to give you an

4:57

idea of how deep in the Reno work.

5:00

We see Kay we are. And

5:03

I'm driving past it at 1 o'clock in the morning. So

5:06

I take the kitty, get her all checked

5:08

out. The kitty cat is fine. She

5:10

was in a bad mood but she

5:12

had no damage. All is well. It

5:15

gets to be 3 a.m. guys. And I'm fried out

5:17

of my mind here. I'm not even tired anymore. It's

5:19

that thing your body does where it's like I don't

5:21

know. What do you want from me? Good.

5:23

Bad. Sleepy. Angry.

5:27

I've got it all. What do you want? If your

5:29

body's awake at 3 a.m. usually it's coming from like

5:31

a primal sort of. You're up at 3 a.m. because

5:33

the tigers are back. And you need to be fucking

5:35

ready at any moment. It's a feeling you don't normally

5:37

have since you're a

5:39

baby. And it's called super

5:41

tired. And it's where you're so tired

5:43

you're upset and you're too upset to

5:46

go to sleep. So it

5:48

occurs to me as I'm like leaving

5:50

the vet that like man, I

5:54

Really want a you who in a Reese's

5:56

Cup right now? A lot to treat myself.

5:59

That's a really. Right now it has

6:01

a three way across the street I think.

6:03

informed of that amount of this sigler. okay

6:05

saga of the spew across the street and

6:07

might well dang can't. Leave. The

6:09

dang camp guards three am and I'm sorry

6:11

I can over Sabrina the you are afraid

6:13

someone or break given see of a gang

6:15

ilo i just i just you know it

6:17

We had a harrowing adventure a cat in

6:19

want to be away from her she added

6:22

up so like are and will bring him

6:24

in. And the lady behind

6:26

the counter I felt the need to.

6:28

Justify. My presence because it was

6:31

so late. is a and other open like

6:33

you're not supposed to go there. Grygera suffered

6:35

now they're that lights settled. the nice I

6:37

explained or what happened. She. Said

6:40

that is terrible. I.

6:42

Know just as.light at that would. That's like

6:44

I've been having trouble with my pets lately.

6:46

And. She said my score being keeps his

6:48

stock is what the hell yeah Home man

6:51

is as far as that of a promise

6:53

He said he adds a huge problem and

6:55

I just kind of stood there his three

6:58

the morning I'm like how with his a

7:00

fucking conversations and as or think hasn't I

7:02

remember the thoughts should I be awake and

7:04

three or more because his stuff just popping

7:07

off I hear like are you know letting

7:09

around the time yeah are you certain you

7:11

were away examined because that does not sound

7:13

like I know guys have I don't know

7:16

a lot about scorpion. Here and there

7:18

are nine hours away in one of the

7:20

high know. As. As as weird

7:22

how laughing about what it's like to have

7:24

a pet I'm glad the door she says

7:26

I still has her my my husband esa

7:28

everyday I had to say it's make sure

7:30

you keep Subzero out of his water bowl.

7:33

That's. Good I did. Now this does

7:35

actually sound more dreamlike. Yeah, no idea I

7:37

to come up with something that good in

7:39

a dream. Are you kidding me know yeah.

7:42

the woman has a scorpion name, Sub Zero's

7:44

is amazing Grace as he should get a

7:46

pulitzer. And here right? here's the thing. I.

7:49

Don't know much about scorpion Taher. By.

7:51

how big the the scorpion water dish need

7:53

to be scorpions already pretty small desert preacher

7:55

thrive and stamps they don't need to be

7:57

able to swim laps in there. I guess

7:59

they just like to swim around, I don't

8:01

know. And may I pause it and I'll

8:03

be up to you. They don't know Justin,

8:05

I'm sorry, they don't like to swim around,

8:07

they get on the backs of frogs or

8:09

turtles, depending on which version of the story

8:11

you hear. Table. Very canny. I

8:14

think if an animal continuously

8:17

gets stuck in its own water dish,

8:20

it no longer qualifies for

8:23

pet status. Like there's some

8:25

animals that just like can't

8:27

be, you can't have a worm pet, because

8:30

it's like, what are you gonna do with that?

8:32

There's a lot of people use those to catch

8:35

other pets. You're dancing on a razor's edge of

8:37

getting yelled at on the internet, or you're not

8:39

on the internet, so you're probably fine. I'm invincible,

8:41

scorpion heads like come out. I think scorpions are

8:43

fucking cool, like that's crap. Yeah, obviously. I think

8:45

though, if they keep on getting stuck in the

8:47

old ding-dang water dish and you have to fish

8:50

them out of there, that's

8:52

not, I don't think, I think that gets

8:54

shunted off the pet list, I think at

8:56

that point. I do think that if I

8:58

was, I don't think a scorpion's an apex

9:00

predator, but it's a pretty bad-ass animal

9:03

who's out there scaring other animals

9:05

away. And then you were like,

9:07

so I'm gonna take you now and put you in

9:09

this box by yourself where the only animal you can

9:11

scare is you? I'd be

9:13

like, oh no, now I'm trapped in here with

9:15

my thoughts. Usually I'm out there scaring other animals

9:17

and now I'm thinking about mortality, let me out.

9:20

Stepped on one once, accessed it mentally, didn't do

9:22

it on purpose. He stepped on it and it

9:24

hurt my foot, I was at a swimming pool,

9:26

I just moved to Texas, I was like, is

9:28

this how it's gonna be here? And

9:31

it didn't happen again. But no

9:33

adverse effects to speak of whatsoever.

9:35

I'm stronger than scorpion venom. My

9:39

friend Megan, who's the barber at the place, I get

9:41

my hair cut and we done theater and stuff.

9:43

First time I ever met her she said, I was

9:45

on the news once because I found a

9:47

scorpion at Walmart. That's her icebreaker.

9:50

They did a news story because she found

9:52

a scorpion at Walmart. Pretty good. Pretty cool.

9:55

What's he doing there though? Scorpion?

10:01

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, probably

10:03

looking for value, I guess. I

10:06

guess so. I didn't have

10:08

a joke there. No, I'm trying to figure

10:10

out how to tie it back to the Matrix, like the

10:12

Scorpion, like the Red Hill, and what he was like. That's

10:14

all Walmart. You

10:17

guys wanna do the show or? Yeah, I would

10:19

do too. I'm a supervisor at

10:22

a small local amusement park. My job,

10:24

that's cool. My job is

10:26

to manage stuff. I manage stuff and

10:29

general park duties. Manage staff. Staff. Oh,

10:31

manage staff, not manage stuff. So a

10:33

lot more stuff. Manage staff and general

10:35

park duties like running rides. Occasionally, I

10:37

play games in our arcade during my

10:39

breaks. I have racked up quite a

10:42

few hard-earned tickets in my time working

10:44

there, but usually I only redeem them

10:46

for small pieces of candy. Recently,

10:48

we received a few new items for the

10:50

prize wall, including a free-mosaonic skateboard that I

10:53

really like. It's been sitting in the back

10:55

for two months now. Brothers, how do

10:57

I heist this wicked skateboard without tipping

10:59

off upper management? And that

11:01

is PS, I don't know how to skateboard

11:03

yet. The Skateboard Swindler in Frederick, Maryland. Now,

11:05

this is an interesting question you've chosen to

11:08

include here, Travis, because this is, this

11:11

person is talking about fifth from

11:13

the workplace. Hold on, hold on.

11:15

Shrink? Is Shrink, what is

11:17

the PC term? Shrink? There's shrinkage happening.

11:20

No, I think they're talking about

11:22

buying the skateboard with their million tickets

11:24

that they have. Yeah, I know, 100%

11:26

that they've earned. That they've earned.

11:28

I didn't think it was, I'm going to steal.

11:30

I mean, why include

11:33

all this shit about tickets? Okay, now wait a minute,

11:35

I know why. Okay, okay,

11:37

okay, okay. They get free place.

11:40

Yeah. Because they work in the

11:42

arcade. Uh-huh. So they

11:44

have ostensibly can generate infinite

11:47

ticket profit with no

11:49

money going into the coffers. Yeah.

11:52

So this person is saying, is there a difference

11:54

between just going back to

11:56

the shelves and picking up a roll of

11:58

tickets and then going. at the counter

12:00

and slapping it down saying, here, give

12:02

me my skateboard. Now, hold on, Justin.

12:05

I understand what you're saying and you

12:07

ain't wrong, but there is a difference.

12:09

They've earned now through perhaps maybe

12:11

not the most, uh, listed, which

12:13

is the opposite of illicit in my mind,

12:16

the most list of means they've maybe pressed

12:18

the button that they have a key to

12:20

open to get a free game on the

12:22

thing. But then if

12:25

they've racked up a lot of tokens, they have

12:27

some kind of skill at these games. Not

12:30

necessarily. That doesn't make any sense because now

12:32

you play Wonder Wheel a hundred thousand times

12:34

and it's going to crap out four tickets

12:36

every time because thank you for the money,

12:38

right? I, by the way, can I say,

12:40

can I clarify? I am not passing

12:43

judgment on questions. No, steal, steal from every

12:45

place you work out for this. So you're

12:48

not just trying to like zoom in on

12:50

what the actual question is. Right. What are

12:52

you going to do obtained

12:55

in a way that would make you ashamed to carve

12:58

the sidewalk for your best friend, Sonic?

13:01

It does. A shame doesn't, you're

13:03

talking about, are you going to get

13:05

in trouble? Do you have plausible deniability?

13:07

That's what you're asking me. Right. Because

13:09

that's what you're saying. Cause if you

13:12

came in, put a dollar in

13:14

the machine, got tokens out, put tokens in the

13:16

machine, earn enough tickets, use those tickets

13:18

to get the thing. There's no issue.

13:21

Right. Right. So here's

13:23

what you're going to do. The end of

13:26

the night, you're locking up. You take down

13:28

the skateboard. You take it home next morning.

13:30

You come back, you bring the skateboard back,

13:32

you put it back on the wall. It's

13:34

there during the day. This is class pet

13:36

situation. You're taking the Sonic home to take

13:38

care of him. You don't want to leave

13:40

Sonic there by himself. He's got to get

13:42

so hungry for rings and chaos gyms and

13:44

whatnot. And now the only issue with that

13:46

Travis is when I snap that motherfucker on

13:48

that 22 step rail outside

13:51

the public library, when I fucking 50

13:54

50 nose grind it and blow

13:56

my fucking Nards with my voice,

13:58

Dougie and stinky wheel watching. I

14:01

can't bring it back in two pieces, Travis.

14:03

I fucked up the thing on the library

14:05

set. If you were an employer and

14:08

you saw your

14:10

employee zoom up

14:13

to the front door and they pop an ollie and

14:15

then do the cool thing where they pick up the

14:17

skateboard without – you know what I mean? The only

14:19

way to carry it over the shoulder like a fireman.

14:23

And you're like, dang, that's cool. Where

14:25

did you get that? Would you rather

14:27

the employee spend you a grand tale of

14:30

how they played this one game over and

14:32

over again until they earned enough tickets? I

14:34

mean, assistively on free time, one hopes, but

14:36

probably not, right? Would you rather hear that

14:38

whole story or would you rather they say,

14:40

yeah, I was in the back for two

14:42

months and I just took it because I

14:44

wanted it. And I didn't think anybody would

14:46

notice or care. And you did. Fair play.

14:48

Tell me the cash value and I'm happy

14:50

to receive it. I thought this would be

14:52

fine. I've demonstrated the product. And

14:55

if we're being honest, cash value,

14:57

probably like $12. And probably now

14:59

I'm fucking grinding this thing down.

15:01

Are you telling me that at

15:03

this amusement park arcade, this parkade,

15:06

there's one skateboard prize? You got one

15:08

of them and said that's funny. It's a small

15:10

local amusement park, Travis. Yeah,

15:13

I don't know what you want. What

15:15

an insane thing to even say, Travis.

15:18

Like, what an absolutely unhit, like, why

15:21

do they have so few skateboard prizes?

15:23

Because they, I would assume, have multiples

15:25

of other prizes. It's a bulk industry.

15:28

If I ran

15:31

an arcade, first

15:34

of all, your ass would be on the street. You're

15:37

out day one, by the way. You

15:40

need to steal from your employer unless

15:42

they're us. Which skateboards you're going down.

15:45

I think that if you come to

15:47

me, though, and you've broken

15:49

that sacred tenant from

15:53

fucking Tony

15:56

Scarface to get high on your

15:58

own supply, then... I find

16:01

out you stole a skateboard. That's not

16:04

great. I find out that you've just been playing

16:06

arcade games for free and Getting tickets out of

16:08

the machines and then getting the skateboard that way.

16:10

I think I want to be angrier at that

16:13

point We've lost time. We've lost resources.

16:15

We've lost what else are they supposed

16:17

to be doing? No, I gotta zoom

16:19

in here Griffin. They've cleaned everything rides

16:21

and managing staff. That's a lot That's

16:23

a full that's a full that's a pretty full plate

16:26

Now I would have to assume

16:28

that question asker is not leaving

16:30

rides running with people on them

16:32

or Abandoning staff what

16:34

needs management? You don't know that though.

16:36

Why don't you know that they may

16:39

be a real stinker You don't know

16:41

you are passing judgment. No in this

16:43

one sense They I might here's the

16:45

thing. It's not stealing

16:48

because the tickets have no cash value this

16:51

is what I'm saying if the

16:53

tickets have no value and

16:55

you take a skateboard

16:57

for yourself to enjoy Yeah,

17:00

and then someone's like you didn't

17:02

pay for that and you're like I can't yeah,

17:05

I just wanted it Why would it take

17:07

you what how much okay? How much money

17:09

will you give me for these tickets? Nothing?

17:11

They're not valuable Okay, so then the skateboard

17:13

has no value. Yeah, I cannot be stealing

17:15

from you everything. You're free Everything

17:17

I take anything you want if I you

17:20

have money Justin when you really think about

17:22

it's just peace of a Buh-bye you're gonna

17:24

train him for old hunks Yes,

17:27

hey Justin. I've got a pill for you here. I

17:29

want you to take and open your eyes is it's

17:33

vitamin C We'll get

17:35

a little you look a little nervous. I Think

17:38

depending on your age. There's an easier answer

17:40

to all this which is get the skateboard

17:42

down and stand on it because

17:44

every skateboard experience I've had as

17:46

an adult I'll say past the

17:48

age of 28

17:51

goes like a fucking cool skateboard Let me hop on

17:53

that I get on it and it immediately shifts underneath

17:55

me and I'm like, oh no No,

17:59

I'll follow this and

18:01

I'll I might die

18:03

I might get very very hurt so

18:06

that could be the solution for you to

18:08

just shatter your skateboard dreams and once else

18:10

with this is actually just is somebody else

18:12

wants to take this a money-making idea that

18:15

I had more of a service really where

18:17

you're gonna set up like a

18:20

building your warehouse kind of thing with different

18:22

stations set up and

18:24

each station is equipped with the

18:26

like makings of a hobby to

18:30

let like neurodivergent people

18:32

who have convinced themselves that their life will

18:34

be better if they get better at pottery

18:36

or whatever it's like okay don't go by

18:38

all the stuff come here try

18:41

it for let's be honest an hour and

18:43

be like oh actually fuck this I hate

18:45

this so much an hour is a lot

18:47

I yeah first skateboard again I wouldn't commit

18:50

to that long this is what I'm saying

18:52

right because my daughter wants to learn to

18:54

skateboard but I know that she doesn't she

18:57

likes the idea of knowing how to skateboard

19:00

and the idea of buying a

19:02

skateboard for her to do that with

19:04

and then just using it I guess

19:07

as a furniture dolly from then on

19:10

out of the question I

19:13

have another question I want it I

19:15

really want to jump rope I live

19:17

on the sixth floor so I can't jump in

19:19

my apartment because of my neighbors I can't go

19:21

to the roof because it is caved in on

19:24

us before from very poor repairs we

19:26

have a courtyard but no one uses it

19:29

is pure concrete mostly I just see vermin

19:31

there plus I would super be on display

19:33

for the whole building and I'm really bad

19:35

at jumping rope so far I'm

19:37

not near any large green space and

19:39

I want this to be successful to

19:41

me as possible brothers where do I

19:43

peacefully jump rope without disturbing others or

19:45

being on display that's from genuinely jumpy

19:47

jumper in BK Brooklyn

19:52

or British imagine any

19:54

of you are at a public part

19:57

mm-hmm and you walk by someone

19:59

who's jumping and they're not

20:01

doing a very good job at it. What

20:03

do you do in that situation? Look

20:06

away as fast as possible. Keep on walking with

20:08

the look away. Look away as fast as possible.

20:10

Look away as fast as you possibly can. Because

20:13

I'm embarrassed to have been watching them. So I

20:15

look away as fast as possible. I wish I

20:17

would do that. I wish I

20:19

would do that, but I would find something to

20:21

do nearby and

20:23

get them right in the old peripheral. And

20:26

I am like, what the fuck? Why

20:28

are they bad at

20:30

jump roping? Why are they so committed to

20:33

this? That's

20:36

an insane answer. That's a wild answer, Travis.

20:38

It's a wild answer. It's a wild answer. The

20:40

wild answer. And can I say a lie?

20:42

I don't think you'd actually do that. I

20:44

think you're doing it, I think you're saying

20:46

that for the vine. I don't think there's

20:48

any fucking reality where you see someone being

20:50

bad at jump roping. First of all, it

20:52

mandates that you have noticed another person. So

20:54

that's already like a big growth. It

20:57

felt like you took this wild contrarian

20:59

position that no human, I was

21:01

trying to make the point, I was trying to

21:03

make the point that if you're walking in the

21:05

park, you see someone bad at jump roping, you

21:07

fucking leave. But you were like, I'd watch them

21:09

and fucking jack it, baby. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

21:12

whoa. Nobody said I'd jack it. Why would you

21:14

fucking do? You wouldn't do that. Now here's what

21:16

happened. No way you would do that. Griffin, let

21:18

me tell you what happened. Let me tell you

21:20

what happened. My brain's starting

21:22

to spin up another idea. Before

21:26

you asked the question. No, let me finish.

21:29

Can I guess? Can I guess? Yeah. So

21:31

you were a spinner, but other ideas. So your

21:33

top men were on that. So

21:35

you left responding to Griffin to some of

21:37

your junior associates. No, there was more if

21:39

there was an image crossover of

21:42

in my mind, like

21:44

if you show up and you're like

21:46

kitted out, like you're in training for

21:50

something and you start jump

21:52

roping. So I'm picturing somebody

21:54

kitted out like boombox playing

21:57

eye of the tiger or the jump rope a quiz. Yeah.

22:00

training from nothing to excellent. Yes, if someone

22:02

is at the park and they have a

22:04

boombox and they're wearing a fucking jump rope

22:06

for heart shirt and they have the headbands

22:09

and they keep screaming like, God damn, I

22:11

can't wait to jump over this fucking rope!

22:13

And then they get out there like, Thwip,

22:15

thwomp, twinkity-thwomp. I'd be like, okay. Yeah, I

22:18

would be curious about that. That might be

22:20

a play at that point. You put so

22:22

much imaginary English on the ball that you,

22:24

I just need to warn you from the

22:27

outside perspective of your own mind, it was

22:29

a patently bonkers thing to say. Yes, but that's

22:31

what I was picturing when you asked me. I

22:33

understand that. And I understand that. So they

22:36

just picture a regular person pull a regular

22:38

jump rope of their regular pocket and start

22:40

jump roving. And me sitting up a lawn

22:42

chair to pee-pen. Yeah, no, you see it

22:45

now. Yeah, man. Okay, cool, cool. But I

22:47

will say, to get back to, you have

22:49

that shared space. First of all, you're gonna

22:51

clean that baby up. You're gonna get some

22:54

mats in there, that courtyard. And

22:57

yeah, the other people in your building are gonna

22:59

notice. But it's gonna become

23:02

inspirational. They're gonna see

23:04

you at first. They might laugh. They

23:06

might laugh behind their hands at you.

23:08

But pretty soon, they're gonna

23:11

see you becoming triple Dutch or whatever.

23:13

And they're like, oh my God. And

23:15

now you've inspired them to get

23:18

that graduate degree that they've been

23:20

talking about. You've inspired them to

23:22

make amends with their estranged wife.

23:25

See the change. Luckily,

23:27

Travis has talked so much garbage for

23:29

so long that I have been able

23:31

to formulate a full-proof solution.

23:34

Thank God. To your problem, question-asker. So

23:36

thank you so much for that. You

23:39

guys ready? Drips of spring water into his

23:42

mouth. Okay, so that's cool. So

23:45

it's fixed. So that's the problem. You have

23:48

to describe it. This is an audio. You

23:50

guys describe it. I think I already done

23:52

enough work here. Posted what looks like a

23:55

marketing image for a product that

23:57

is for babies. And it's one of those baby jumps. This

24:00

is Johnny Jump Up. Johnny Jump Up. Johnny

24:02

Jump Up and you like string it up

24:04

in your door frame and the baby sits

24:06

in it like a big diaper for goofballs

24:09

and you jump up and down like that. It's

24:12

elastic. It's elastic. Now here's the thing Jayman.

24:14

I'm 100 pounds of pure American steel. When

24:16

you finish the good version of it before

24:19

you start trying to pick it apart. No,

24:21

no, you're saying that your feet make no

24:24

noise on the ground with this Johnny Jump

24:26

Up catching you just gently. Yeah. No.

24:29

You're doing incredible jumps too. Yeah. Yeah.

24:32

The best jump. But then you show up at

24:34

the jump rope for heart invitation on 2024 and

24:36

you're like, what's up motherfuckers? I hope you're ready

24:38

to get squished. And then you're like, you can

24:40

barely get your feet up off the ground. I

24:43

just need a door frame coach and the door

24:45

frame and a Johnny Jump Up. That's legal, right?

24:49

I'm 200 pounds of concrete steel. And

24:52

if I tried this in

24:54

a building where if I can remind you Justin,

24:57

they can't go up on the rooftop terrace because

24:59

it's caved in on them multiple times. We're

25:01

exactly in this building. Do you think I

25:03

am hooking up a Johnny Jump Up strong

25:06

enough? You gotta go to the, well,

25:08

Travis, you should know the answer to this question is

25:10

you gotta go into the joists. If

25:12

you have nothing to do with it. If you

25:14

haven't secured this thing into the joists, maybe with

25:16

a nice lag bolt, get it up in the

25:18

joists, then you're gonna have a secure fun time.

25:21

I will say, there's a second question in

25:23

a row. Brooklyn and Frederick, Maryland,

25:25

not like crazy far away. There's

25:28

an opportunity here, I think, to

25:30

get this person in the door

25:33

of Travis's hobby

25:36

attempting storage facility. Each unit has, it's

25:38

just a little private space for you

25:40

to go and try out jump roping

25:42

for a half of an hour. There's

25:45

maybe we have the stuff in there for you ready

25:47

and you try for a half hour and you might

25:49

not like it. And then you won't have to worry

25:52

about where you won't do it anymore. You know, can

25:54

I tell you, it doesn't have to be big. It

25:56

doesn't have to be big hobbies. Recently, I was with

25:58

my daughter somewhere where there were who. Hoops and

26:01

they were like how do you hula hoop and I was like,

26:03

oh, let me show you and the

26:05

speed at which I realized I am both

26:07

bad at hula hooping and hate it Yeah

26:12

It's one of those there's so many things we

26:14

realized it when we did our roller skating episode

26:16

of a bim bam I got on

26:18

rollers case. I was like, why am I no, no, no, no, no,

26:20

no, no, no, no, no There's

26:22

so many things like that Why doesn't this type of

26:24

thing exist where you show it to a building and

26:26

it's like we've got a hundred hobbies for you

26:29

To try and you get to pick which one

26:31

sounds good It's like the funnest version of college

26:33

that we've imagined only it only takes an hour

26:35

And it's not a good idea to get it

26:37

out of your system is called but there's my

26:39

idea No, but I took it

26:42

and I made it so much more. You've got old

26:44

and guys. It's got a we got a problem What's

26:47

that? We got a problem. I talked to some of the guys from the lab

26:49

and it's tough

26:51

the first batch of Jonathan

26:53

jump ups have come back and They

26:56

have been returned a hundred percent according this

26:59

a hundred percent of their return Oh, I

27:01

think it was a design flaw that we

27:03

didn't notice in hindsight Yeah, and that is

27:05

that if you are suspended from Ropes

27:09

that are attached to the ceiling the very

27:11

very very very very first time I did

27:13

try to do make a rope go around

27:15

your whole yeah, you will find their path

27:17

interrupted rope interrupted By the

27:19

giant jump of itself, so it would

27:21

be impossible. That's what we discovered from

27:23

our early consumer feedback I felt the

27:26

jump of Jonathan jump up to series

27:28

two you're suspended from a bouncy spring

27:30

on the bottom Yeah,

27:32

yeah No, I

27:34

don't run into a similar issue the other okay that I've

27:36

entered from the side That

27:39

is gonna be the same problem times two. I

27:41

think the bigger hole in the road The

27:44

Jonathan jump-up issue for me Justin is that we

27:46

didn't differentiate it at all from the Johnny jump-up

27:48

product So a lot of people did buy them

27:50

on Amazon and put their babies in them and

27:52

shot at them out of the window Like an

27:54

angry birds Well Griffin

27:57

Every brings are so much stronger.

28:00

Hundred Pounds Body Everyday lives is gonna have

28:02

served witches and we are so excited Launched

28:04

in those babies out the window as glitziest

28:06

is rare or we know that alavi of

28:09

her a law Things are thousands of boob

28:11

in the past few weeks and I promise

28:13

that we are going to said the story

28:15

straight in the coming days and weeks but

28:17

say due to all of our team members

28:19

for being a part of this incredible adventure.

28:22

Harrys exactly that. Notes have a policy from

28:24

job of a job up Really we are

28:26

so sorry to be parted ways of the

28:28

entirety of the companies. Are

28:31

excited about this user! If

28:33

we can give is what is his ex. Yeah.

28:38

Ah, Syria remains on. Ah, I

28:40

think so. Yes, Hello

28:53

everybody and welcome to travel nation that say

28:56

it's me. I've. Taken over the bodies

28:58

of Justin and Griffin and so now

29:00

all three will be my voice and

29:02

three of us are going to tell

29:04

you about Sam's.com Yeah, that's right, Travis

29:06

were very rough.com. Do. You

29:08

have self the ship Yeah dude. Griffin.

29:10

Okay, cool aren't we? Can I finish

29:12

the yeah Zeitgeist Yes sites. So when

29:14

you're making decisions for your company, you're

29:16

always looking for no brainers. He echo

29:19

adjusted Travis, That's not cool. Okay, and

29:21

if you have a lot of mailing

29:23

and sipping to do, stamps.com is the

29:25

obvious choice for a reason. You can

29:27

take care of mailing and shipping wherever

29:29

you aren't even on the go. With

29:31

the Samsung Com mobile app. All you

29:33

need is a computer and printer, right?

29:35

Travis? That's right, Griffin. They even sent

29:37

your freescale seamlessly. Connect with every major Marquis

29:39

race and shopping cart if you sell online

29:42

get rates can't find anywhere else like what?

29:44

Just and all like Guy of the eight

29:46

and nine percent of us the As and

29:48

you be as Wow, that's amazing. So.

29:50

Make the same no brainer decision as

29:53

over one million other businesses with stamps.com

29:55

sign up with promo code. My brother

29:57

for special offer that includes a four

29:59

week trial was. Three postage and free

30:01

digital scale. No long term commitment or

30:03

contracts to get a stance that com

30:05

click the microphone of the top of

30:07

the page and then or my brother.

30:10

Okay, I pulled myself back and is just one

30:12

person. Here. I enjoyed this a

30:14

lot more and makes one more sense.

30:17

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if you have a covered in your lower

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back what would you keep in it? So

31:48

I'm going to say mugs a little joke

31:50

at sustained A small handkerchief there was given

31:52

to me by my grandmother on her deathbed.

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May be some spare honey honey batteries in

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it as potentially a toy. I had a

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cupboard and nine. We're back. I'd probably

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still it was Spines. If you had

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a coveted your lower back what would

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you keep and it doesn't exist We

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may just helpful. Sounds: He with Jean

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Luc Roberts an award winning comedy podcast

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of stupid podcasts. Listen and subscribe to

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it sounds. He's with Jean Luc Roberts

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now. On

32:23

gosh hi it's me Dave Homes host

32:25

of the pop culture game show Troubled

32:27

Waters. On Troubled Waters we play a

32:29

whole host the games slice one where

32:31

I describe shows using limerick and I

32:33

guess have to figure out what it

32:35

is. Let's do and right now what

32:37

show my talking about? This podcast has

32:39

game after game and brilliant. Guess who

32:41

complain I was Disney Days he could

32:43

be your face so try as like

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won't be the same. Ah a Big

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Business starring that Melbourne Lily Tomlin Close

32:49

but no Oh Troubled Waters of Pop

32:51

Culture quiz show with only favorite. Comedian

32:53

vs. Troubled Waters is the answer

32:55

to this question and all of

32:57

my life's problems. Now legally we

33:00

actually can guarantee that, but you

33:02

can find Ron Maximum fun.org or

33:04

wherever you get your podcasts. Me:

33:11

My mom recently bought a bird feeder the caesar

33:13

space be as favorite of a lot different species

33:15

yet i have a Cd think is there were

33:17

can create buzz to the birds and get some

33:19

good press going to how can i get burst

33:22

each had our patio i just want to see

33:24

them mourning dove but it's he can deal be

33:26

just fine for yeah that that some jia is

33:28

bird was in billon one. Job.

33:32

Yell. Yell get a grip yeah breezy

33:35

of remove them birds. Has. And

33:37

you know know your his and twitter know. To.

33:39

Is gone then. That's. True,

33:42

then be good because of birds. Yeah Five

33:44

fucking said that Griffin was with So Laura

33:46

by as of are they good tweet about

33:48

it and realize that the he's already pretty

33:50

now that would have a kick ass job

33:53

that made sense in the five for the

33:55

sciences or religion or of brass tacks reserved

33:57

for and for Philly. I mean maybe it's

33:59

good. There is an affair with the

34:01

new limits are you can put up

34:03

as much bird seed in your yard

34:05

as you want. Birds. And

34:08

by birds, I mean all wild animals

34:10

aren't fucking on to us like they

34:12

know how how we do when we

34:15

want something some them. Usually they're delicious.

34:17

Incredible meats and so birds are going

34:19

to be. Now if you could guarantee

34:21

that this is a. Cat.

34:24

Freezer. And if

34:26

you could make the zone inhospitable to

34:28

cats, Then. I think

34:30

that's. What?

34:33

That a moat? Around that

34:35

are we're. Yeah. Big since

34:37

even that. Now cats can climb yet perhaps.

34:40

And clients here's a here's The problem isn't

34:42

as as the eating of a ray of

34:44

Manson Griffin. You. Walk

34:46

or to the table and there's a

34:48

yummy burger them as but Liberty. They're

34:51

receiving a burger for me and you

34:53

sit down. and then next year a

34:55

giant set of blinds open up and

34:57

a giant eyeball like. Yeah

35:00

my ah got it is really

35:02

didn't look like hundred yeah related

35:04

murder. Why have to imagine that

35:06

they're set up does fit for

35:08

this is fucking right. Six to

35:10

the bird feeder to spotty lick

35:12

my with a abby. What your

35:14

Manson. Ah, a one saying

35:17

you did tries is an egotist

35:19

stand as head of the seeds

35:21

are good. We love the seeds.

35:23

That's how the problem, the problem

35:25

is good. The word out about

35:27

this? Yes. So I think you

35:29

stand near the bird feeder and

35:31

the news get big handfuls of

35:33

it's an easy task. Examples Insights:

35:35

We got this: Sit for days,

35:37

come did it and then you're

35:39

far away. As like advertising see

35:42

sucking the seeds far. Be right

35:44

with up with that they're. Not

35:46

that important you go idea at once

35:48

because if you do it everyday birds

35:50

are bright that passes not or six

35:52

and outside know shot protest too much

35:54

yes I don't like them at all

35:56

devices as as by the get a

35:58

few birds in. At. Like a

36:01

base level like it like are

36:03

are sort of like associate. Diamond.

36:06

Bedrock members the get the idea and

36:08

you say tell the other birds and

36:10

make it in that be a my

36:12

dad gold level bird remember their hearts

36:14

yet as sexy as birds on the

36:16

flamingo like. That.

36:19

Would do it for me. Hard to yeah

36:21

I mean years as a to big gap

36:23

I'm san some fucking sick at ease, some

36:25

Cardinals, a Blue Jays sees. A

36:27

Flamenco One number? Not her. My

36:30

Ohio bird feeder. Free. A good

36:32

track that would actually be sued

36:34

for word of mouth. Why? people

36:36

have like sake, flamingos, That

36:38

money article on the roads are like

36:40

hell yeah. What am I being who

36:42

Yard Gov? Flamingos? they're. Here

36:45

man is that the golden eagle from

36:47

the rescuers down under of the scale

36:49

were savages. Never quite determine if that's

36:51

a real bird or my blog well

36:53

as awesome as it flies on it

36:55

yet I does in Rising was not

36:57

under a kid flies on that bargain.

36:59

Birds is about a real bird. Australia

37:02

is have you ever heard higher than

37:04

right on earth? I don't think

37:06

there's a bird. I'm gonna go out on

37:08

a limb here and say there's no bird

37:10

decking. Carry a kid, know why are you

37:12

doing on the limbs bird can't catch a

37:14

scarf and I would be out on limbs.

37:16

You'll have a they were gonna wanna be

37:18

out here, they're not going to swoop down

37:20

and and savior I think this a problem

37:22

was printer fricker secret disease that birds for

37:24

fucking days and she doesn't seem to be

37:26

doing much else and I scattering food about

37:28

and having it's kind of silva was even

37:30

a place where the birds are wicked stupid.

37:32

Before you talk about bring of Parker and

37:34

I'm illegally we didn't. Discuss Brenda Figure

37:36

I would like to tell you about

37:38

a Flamingo job that I wrote and

37:41

I didn't get to say and I

37:43

would like to just now. Okay okay

37:45

cool Thank you You're guess. You.

37:48

Have to pretend like we're still talking

37:50

about how people go to places like

37:52

birds go to places where they see

37:54

for minutes a day with Mlk? Yeah,

37:57

because they're of the original influence from see it again of

37:59

year I'm about to fucking frost it. This

38:02

one's good. I've got to thank the most high off

38:04

this one. Because I feel like this is not for

38:06

me. Here we go. Sometimes I just

38:08

hope my mouth and mouth come out. So here we go. You

38:11

know why flamingos are that color? Why? Why?

38:14

Because of all the Starbucks pink drinks that they have consumed.

38:17

I'm busting. Yeah. I

38:19

mean, it's good. It's not...you were expecting me to

38:21

say shrimp. Admit it. Yeah,

38:23

no, for sure. I was thinking shrimp. But I didn't.

38:26

Not on that time. You did Starbucks pink

38:28

drink instead. It used to be a

38:30

thing that was very popular. Okay. So

38:33

I have to imagine we were still talking about how flamingos

38:35

are the sexy birds that are like the cool VIPs at

38:37

the club that the other birds want to come by and

38:39

that also the Starbucks pink drink was... Are

38:42

there any other sort of like reality shifts that you

38:44

want to do to make this joke hit like as

38:46

far as... Just like a parameter change. As long as

38:48

we're doing this, like we could do any...like we could

38:50

make it so that like in general, drink humor is

38:53

funny or like bird humor is like really,

38:55

really super hot, right? Yeah. Like

38:57

flamingos and do like selfies. I'm just saying I liked

38:59

it better when Griffin was being mean to Travis. If

39:02

I can get it. Yeah, we all did.

39:04

Well, I guess Justin, for me, what happens

39:07

to a Brenda Fricker conversation deferred? Because

39:09

I'll tell you, it spoils. Now

39:11

you've ruined...imagine...alright, now, we're still talking

39:13

about Brenda Fr... We

39:19

can't have asterisks. We can't

39:21

have footnotes. We've never done a sort

39:23

of one two step version of this podcast before

39:25

where we do a punch line and then a

39:27

punch line and then a joke set up and

39:29

then a punch line. Like

39:31

turn to whichever one you like. Hey,

39:33

if you want to hear more about Brenda Fricker, jump

39:35

to minute 57. We

39:38

got something special waiting for you there. That is a

39:40

good idea though. I think you could do that. It

39:42

would be like those old VHS board games. Like just

39:44

fast forward until you see the purple triangle. You know

39:46

that that's the right... You know we're talking about Brenda

39:49

Fricker. Did you

39:51

say Brandon Fricker? I think about Brandon

39:53

Fricker. What's up? I'm

39:55

the cool Brenda Fricker, Brandon Fricker. Still got the

39:58

bird stuff going on. But these are all Bald

40:00

Eagle. I'm

40:03

just side note that whoever you don't

40:05

want that I made this mistake. I

40:08

made my house a bird feeders down

40:10

and now sometimes I go out to

40:12

fill the bird feeders and I came

40:14

here. Birds in three surrounding my home

40:16

start to make noise. Nowhere

40:18

Yes they see the feeding happening and

40:20

you start to care for. Idea

40:24

trees around me. It's not as

40:26

fun as he might saying to

40:28

be. Tippi Hedren in that circumstance.

40:32

Ah, I'm. We could do

40:34

a Wiki How sure I'm of

40:36

that. Sir Elizabeth Elizabeth It's how

40:38

to make a clean combat. Do.

40:41

You hate it when people insult you and want

40:43

to give them nice smooth come back, then forget

40:46

the your mom and your face rants and follow

40:48

these steps. Asked them is that are you got.

40:51

Hold. On wait so they hold on before we

40:53

even get into it. This is the description of

40:55

the wiki article. Before we even get into the

40:57

steps they can already told you. Sort of a

40:59

good way of dealing with of yeah you gotta

41:01

get out early on us on. A preview

41:03

of how that is his be. Step

41:05

one: Be relaxed as usual.

41:08

That. Doesn't describe my.

41:11

Now faces no that's not me it

41:13

at the that anyone his if we

41:15

were lax debris my usual are. One.

41:17

Of the to, if you get angered

41:20

when someone insults, he somehow automatically lose

41:22

your nerve. So listen carefully to their

41:24

insult and will continue easier. That's cool

41:26

Immersion therapy. Really. When someone is insulting

41:29

you and you can feel a good

41:31

blasts a good for consult burn coming

41:33

right at you, sit there and really

41:35

fucking pay attention. Like really really really

41:37

denial and. Keep your grades up

41:40

and listen as hard as you can

41:42

to these insults. I on I've recently

41:44

now my life and I mean it's

41:46

to brag but when summer a bachelor

41:48

trying to have some electronics are fi

41:50

were me my by number one responses:

41:53

Confusion. like they'll say

41:55

i am i out any my the okay

41:57

what's have was adamant what is it have

41:59

i'm a reason I was at a convention

42:02

and I was hanging out with,

42:04

I'm gonna name drop here a little bit, Matt

42:07

Mercer and Marisha Ray. Oh my gosh.

42:09

I know. And we were at a

42:11

tiki bar in the drunk man. A drunk man

42:13

slammed his teeth. Did fucking one of them insult

42:15

you? Yeah. Cause I'll fucking go

42:18

hit you. Marisha Ray, no, they're

42:20

both very, very kind. But a drunk man

42:22

attempted, he slammed his heel down on my

42:25

foot and then said, are you trying to

42:27

trip me? And I said, oh

42:29

no, you accidentally severed my

42:31

foot. It's okay. And

42:33

I watched his energy become

42:36

so, do

42:38

you think he was trying to fight you? He was trying to fight you. Nice.

42:41

Nice. And I was just like, oh, it's fine. Yeah,

42:44

you severed my foot. Don't worry about it. And

42:46

he was like, okay. Then

42:49

he was locked away. I want to

42:51

make the rest of the show about this trip. Oh, okay.

42:53

Like no one's ever

42:55

picked me to fight before. And

42:58

like, I don't know what it is about the energy.

43:00

I give off versus the energy you give off that

43:02

someone sees you and is like, you know, I'd

43:05

love to fight. Griffin, you do. You

43:07

do. You see it, right? Griff.

43:10

The energy that Travis has that is vital. I'm 200 pounds of

43:12

talking to a CEO, Griffin, versus your

43:14

energy, Griffin. I'm talking about the- You're

43:17

calling from a secret garden. You're

43:19

calling for a secret garden energy. Yeah.

43:23

He's a cool kid. This is great cause now Justin and I can

43:25

make fun of you. Oh, it's

43:27

all over me. It's a curse. Yeah. And how's that

43:29

feeling right now? Feeling great. Bad for

43:31

me. I don't like it. Look how little and withered

43:33

up I am, Traub. I can't believe you'd say that.

43:36

It is time to stand up according to your Apple watch though.

43:38

So if you want to do that, you're almost done. Oh, thank

43:40

you so much. Thank you so much, Travis. You're welcome, Griffin. See

43:42

you later. I'm home for you. He's

43:46

just standing. You got to move

43:48

around to register. So you can't just stand there.

43:50

It doesn't know. What? I think you

43:52

have to move around too. This is like

43:54

the old days of recording. I can't see Griffin's face. I could just

43:56

hear his voice. You're

43:58

seeing the good stuff though. Yeah, Torso where

44:00

we see on a fan of on

44:03

Sept Two. Don't overdo it. I mean

44:05

Minogue that those Toby's five point five

44:07

inches on so that with your side

44:09

I might have had Sam Denim now

44:11

an hour to determine where my five

44:13

point Five hurts are. You have Source:

44:15

Okay, minor one my sword science. Nine

44:17

degrees outside? okay, I'm inside. I left

44:19

my god may appear earth know as

44:21

soon steps you don't overdo it. If

44:23

you say something so complex, an outrageous

44:25

no one will be impressed of a

44:27

try to avoid saying I'm and ah.

44:30

All combat should flow perfectly. Try to

44:32

avoid stuttering as well. We're. Said

44:34

he again to we mention that because

44:36

I yeah, we. I mean brawl panting

44:38

pretty heavily into the microphones. I think

44:40

that people understand. The. Attains

44:42

has occurred. I think I was so I'm

44:44

excited. Okay, try this at Services. Griffin.

44:47

Say some like you're making fun of me

44:49

to be whatever the only so many opportunities

44:51

Omega real please. Don't.

44:54

Make it real know. Uma okay. Good.

44:56

Luck finding something. And

45:00

unless. I have

45:02

heard of Source. Cool. But

45:04

Dick Head sounds like you're really

45:06

hurting. I.

45:10

Last that's a it's like I what I needed

45:12

out of a I like I don't need more

45:14

the I travel has years there have been there

45:16

I was given a scorecard the message he was

45:18

lucid small have had earlier try to go agreed

45:20

with him. Tear gas exec

45:22

had cooled by your mom like

45:25

that. I'll do now

45:27

that if you are here that situation

45:29

as a guy a guy that zola

45:31

you understand the problem I along with

45:34

one. Hate it and

45:36

I call I. Had

45:39

it's I know what I was gonna say.

45:41

They are hibernating. they say on away from

45:43

last one thousand years Yeah, hundred houses. It

45:45

is Groundhog Day at Absolutely Cz. So let

45:47

me hit shit. Let's try one more time.

45:50

Same same scenario. a dick head

45:52

you have to do the things that hey they had

45:54

called lied to a keg who i had a guy

45:56

i knew your a to do any time so i'm

45:58

a hobby for women Enjoy

46:00

the pollables office boys. Fuck! You're

46:03

both going there. I

46:06

will enjoy the principal's office because he has arcade

46:08

games in there and he listens to me. Unlike

46:10

you dad. In

46:13

this scenario, sorry, in this scenario my dad is

46:16

also the science teacher. And

46:18

he has arcade games. No, no, no, the principal,

46:20

sorry, my dad is sending us to the principal's

46:22

office because he doesn't know how to parent correctly.

46:25

So he lets the principal do a lot of

46:27

the work but the principal has arcade games and

46:29

he's dating our mom now in this scenario. You

46:32

and I grew up in our brothers too and the

46:34

principal is going to be our new stepdad

46:36

and he's cool and we like him a

46:38

lot. He sounds fucking cool man. He's fucking

46:40

cool as shit. He's got arcade games in

46:42

his office. He listens well. He has Sonic

46:44

on speed dial in this scenario. Sorry, in

46:46

this scenario Sonic is real. He is

46:48

real. Yeah. And our dad's being

46:50

played by Jason Marson. Perfect. He smokes weed

46:52

all the time and so I'm talking about the principal

46:54

right now. Not Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog can't

46:56

do drugs. Here's a cool step I

46:59

want to just get to before we move on. Pretend to be in

47:01

a hurry and say, I don't have time for this. So

47:04

someone hits you with a hey dick head cool butt. You

47:06

say, I don't have. Sorry.

47:09

You don't have to pretend to be in a hurry.

47:11

Like mortality is a thing. None of us really have

47:13

time for that. That's interesting

47:16

Travis. Maybe

47:18

we figured out like war in general

47:20

with that. Ooh. Really?

47:23

Okay. I want a munch.

47:27

Junior. Squad. I want

47:29

too much Junior. You can't sneak a Junior in there. Welcome to

47:31

Munch Squad podcast. I just

47:33

want to tell you there was a TikTok post this

47:35

week where Jake from Ro for Sandwich narrow

47:44

casted directly at me using the TikTok platform.

47:46

He in fact said at the beginning of

47:48

it, this TikTok is for Justin

47:50

McGrawy. If you're not just a Mac or

47:52

a scroll away. Now let me tell you all

47:55

as a follower of his content, that was

47:57

an extremely distressing TikTok to

47:59

see. bathroom toilet. I did not

48:01

like to be noticed in there or

48:04

recognized, but he did want to let

48:06

me know that Arby's is releasing, well

48:10

here's the headline, Arby's releases new

48:12

horsey sauce inspired by

48:14

Beyonce. What?

48:18

It fired in what way? Well

48:20

that's very, that's extremely

48:22

interesting travel. Let me see

48:24

if I can help you out. She's in her horse

48:27

period right now. I think she's, Beyonce

48:29

is her horsey-est she's ever been by

48:31

a pretty huge, a pretty

48:33

huge margin I'd add. Yeah I

48:35

just can't imagine ever trying a new version of

48:37

Arby's horsey sauce and be like, you know what

48:39

this reminds me of? Right,

48:42

so this is why you are so foolish and

48:44

why you don't know what you're talking about. I

48:46

don't have time for this. It's because it is

48:48

inspired by Beyonce and

48:51

I'm going to show you the picture

48:54

of the art of the the sauce.

48:59

The art of the sauce. Sun

49:02

Tzu's. Now, this

49:06

is Chardonnay's

49:09

Arby's horsey sauce. Chardonnay's

49:12

spelled with a nay. That

49:15

is Beyonce's horse, yes.

49:18

Beyonce's horse named Chardonnay.

49:20

Just in time for the Kentucky Derby,

49:22

Arby's released a little bit. Beyonce has

49:25

a horse named Chardonnay. Chardonnay. Chardonnay's

49:27

horsey sauce is a crisp, tantalizing twist

49:29

on Arby's horsey sauce. It's clear. Suddenly

49:32

infused with Chardonnay flavoring for cowboys and

49:34

city girls alike. Now I have to

49:36

beat Chardonnay the wine and not flavor

49:39

like her horse, right? The sauce comes

49:41

in. This one tastes like my horse.

49:43

The sauce comes in a sophisticated frosted

49:45

glass wine bottle and features the silhouette

49:47

of a majestic horse in mid gallop

49:49

as you two can attest. It

49:52

does kind of look like if you call, if

49:58

you handed me a bottle of that white. And

50:00

you said this is horsey sauce, and you

50:02

winked. I would be fucking

50:05

pretty creeped out actually because that is horse

50:07

semen for sure, 100%. But

50:09

I mean to be fair, that goes for a pretty top

50:11

dollar these days. Sure, bottled. I'm

50:14

sure they're all gone. It costs $16 for

50:16

a wine ball of Chardonnay

50:18

flavored horsey sauce. That's

50:21

where we're at. Capital. I guess you can

50:23

– I mean I just – no, this is a

50:25

good – capitalism's doing good here. Capitalism's firing on all

50:28

cylinders. Are you allowed to

50:30

name something after somebody's horse? Can

50:32

you just do that? I assume

50:34

they got permission. From Beyonce. You

50:37

think Beyonce answers Arby's

50:39

calls? Do you

50:41

think when Arby calls, Beyonce picks up the

50:43

phone? Do you think also

50:45

that Beyonce is not going to contribute

50:48

to the press release about the Arby

50:50

sauce named after a horse? I'm really

50:52

struggling with this, Jess. What

50:55

that horse does is their business. It's not up

50:57

to me, Beyonce, the owner of a horse. You'll have

50:59

to ask them. Ask the

51:01

horse. I don't know. They have their own life. Can I just

51:03

– they posted a trailer

51:05

for this fucking Beyonce horse sauce to

51:07

Facebook. Can I read some of the

51:09

comments on there? Yeah. I'm

51:12

just going to go down the list here.

51:14

How about you just bring back the potato

51:16

cakes? The Arby's experience is not the same.

51:18

Couldn't care less. Bring back potato cakes. Bring

51:20

back the potato cakes. Wait, are these different

51:22

comments? Bring back the tater

51:24

cakes. I'm not horsing around. Yeah,

51:27

no. I mean these are like – every

51:30

single comment on this is about potato cakes. No

51:33

potato cakes, no peace. I don't think that's – I

51:35

got it right here so you guys can see. So yeah. Okay,

51:39

Justin, you're 100% right. Justin,

51:43

because they say the meaning, yeah, that

51:45

horse. You're right. So this

51:47

is what I'm saying. I'm not going to

51:49

say like winky, like this is unsanctioned. This

51:52

is not going to be up

51:55

by the time this episode comes out. And

52:00

so it comes out, people are gonna think we are

52:02

making this up because there's no

52:04

way Beyonce is going to allow

52:06

this bootleg horse wine carrying

52:08

the name of her precious animal.

52:10

Hey guys, this video on the

52:12

Arby She-Daw has been viewed 313

52:14

times. Yes,

52:18

the 314th will be

52:20

Miss Beyonce and she's not going to

52:23

allow this to be gone. She'll say, I was going to send her my

52:25

favorite podcast, My Brother and My Brother and Me. It'll

52:27

be gone by sundown. Unbelievable.

52:30

Hey folks, thank you so much for listening. And I'll

52:32

say sorry, Miss Beyonce, thank you

52:34

so much for listening. You're continuing to be born

52:36

an honor. Oh my gosh, you're doing an honor, man.

52:39

That new album is good. You've done

52:41

it. You've really done it

52:43

this time. Thank you all so much for

52:45

listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed

52:47

yourself. We are

52:49

so happy to have you around. We hope

52:51

you had a good time. Thanks, Justin. You're

52:54

welcome. Anybody else we should give

52:56

her a thank you? Next week we've got our

52:58

Vancouver and Tacoma shows. Vancouver is sold out. We sell

53:00

us the tickets for Tacoma though, so make sure you

53:02

get those while you can. June 21st

53:05

through 23rd, we're going to be doing Kansas

53:07

City, Missouri, St. Louis, and Tysons,

53:09

Virginia. Get all those tickets and

53:11

more information at bit.lo.com. Check

53:13

out new merch for this month. We've

53:15

got the DJ Thumbs sticker designed by Lucas

53:17

Heston Hyde. And

53:20

we got the buy three t-shirts, get one free sale, and

53:22

10% of all proceeds this month

53:24

from the World Central Kitchen. So

53:27

go check those out at macroymerch.com.

53:30

Thanks, Timontaine, for the use of our theme song. My

53:34

Life is Better With You. It is

53:36

a very, very good track. And I'm

53:39

champing at the bit for more. Would

53:42

one of you like to read this week's wish to

53:45

Fungalore? Yeah, Griffin, why don't you do it? I

53:47

would love to. Here it comes. I'm

53:49

coming at you real right now. My

53:55

name Is Jeff Thrackere. I

54:00

travel bag or I am Griffin Mcilroy who

54:03

am I remember to make his you Dad's.

54:23

A. Maximum.

54:40

A. Workaround: Network of artist

54:42

own shares supported directly.

54:44

Are.