0:00

The McElroy brothers are not experts

0:03

and their advice should never be followed. Travis

0:06

insists he's a sexpert but

0:08

if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen

0:10

it. Also this show

0:12

isn't for kids which I mentioned

0:14

only so the babies out there will know

0:16

how cool they are for listening. What's up

0:19

you cool baby? I

0:30

could've never seen what was

0:33

coming for me Hangs

0:37

at the skate park, hangs by the beach

0:40

My life, it feels

0:43

like Life, ahhhhhh

0:48

It's better, it's better with you My

0:52

life, ahhhhhh It's

0:55

better, it's better with you My

0:58

life, ahhhhhh It's

1:02

better, it's better with you

1:05

My life, ahhhhhh It's

1:07

better with you Hello

1:11

everybody and welcome to my brother, my

1:13

brother and me in advice show

1:15

for the modern era. I'm your

1:17

oldest brother Justin McElroy. What up

1:19

Trav Nation, I'm your middlest brother,

1:21

big dog, wolf, wolf Travis McElroy.

1:23

Really Ada, you ate on

1:25

that one King. Thank you, I've

1:27

been having a lot of allergy issues and I was

1:29

trying not to cough in the middle of my intro.

1:31

I'm just saying, I think those allergy issues are making

1:34

you eat King the way you talk and the way

1:36

that you like to put emphasis on words. I love

1:38

to eat Kings, I eat the rich for breakfast. I'm

1:40

the young Griffin McElroy. And

1:43

I reintroduced myself but I am so proud

1:45

to be part of the local F.F. that

1:48

is re-reading comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did it. Hey

1:51

guys, did you see that Jerry Seinfeld? Justin,

1:56

that was the most Jay Leno ass

1:58

set up I've ever seen. You

2:01

all seen this thing about Jerry's

2:03

meta, Griffin is meta commentary. Okay,

2:05

meta commentary. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I

2:07

didn't realize it was meta, Justin.

2:10

Yeah. Um. Okay,

2:12

okay. So

2:15

Mr. Seinfeld said that. Incredibly

2:17

topical, hip, wizit, comedian, finger on the

2:19

pulse of the nation, Jerry Seinfeld. Thank

2:22

you for your gifts, Mr. Seinfeld. Beloved,

2:24

beloved 70 year old man, Jerry

2:27

Seinfeld. Yeah. This

2:29

is the quote that everybody's been so excited about.

2:31

In an interview with The

2:33

New Yorker. Nothing really

2:35

affects comedy. People always need it. I'm

2:38

with you. Yeah, okay. They need it

2:40

so badly. Yeah, go off. And

2:42

they don't get it. It

2:44

used to be you'd go home at the end of

2:47

the day. Most people would go, oh, cheers is on.

2:49

Oh, mash is on. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on.

2:51

All the family is on. You just expected

2:53

there'll be some funny stuff we could watch on

2:55

TV tonight. Well, guess what? Where is it? This

2:58

is the result of the extreme loss in

3:01

PC crap. And people worry so much about

3:03

offending other people. This man, this

3:05

man, okay, this man I know

3:09

does transcendental meditation

3:13

two times a day for 20 minutes.

3:15

Yeah. And at the end of

3:17

one of those, he was like, all right, I

3:20

am complete. I'm in

3:22

a deep ocean thoughts. I'm an

3:24

astronaut in the ocean right now.

3:26

I came back up and it

3:28

turned out that the woke PC

3:30

is ruined comedy. Nothing is on

3:32

TV anymore. Well, Mr. Seifel, Brennan

3:34

Lee Mulligan single-handedly is making enough

3:37

content. What more do you need, sir? We're

3:40

out here making fucking eight shows

3:42

a day, Jerry. This is, okay,

3:45

there's so many, but I

3:47

can't get over that. All of his

3:50

references for comedy on TV are

3:54

like 60 years out of

3:56

date. Not gut, not gut. I love Mary Tyler More

3:58

Show as much as the next person. Not

4:00

a gut buster necessarily. But even then,

4:02

like, you're s- This is a man

4:04

who made a comedy

4:06

show in the 90s and 2000s. You

4:10

need- you need to actually be a little bit more

4:12

careful. Yeah, put some respect on her name, please. Mary

4:15

Tyler Moore is one of the all-time greats. Yeah,

4:17

for sure. It's fucking funny-ass shows, dude. I'm saying,

4:19

it's really, really funny. All-time greats,

4:21

for sure, but there's funnier shit on

4:23

TV now that makes me like, like,

4:25

actually bust the butt up. Does he

4:27

not know that streaming services exist? Is

4:30

he talking about TV in the literal,

4:32

I'm assuming, tube TV with the references

4:34

he made? He must of existed, because

4:36

he's out there fucking pushing the

4:38

envelope on Netflix with a movie about

4:40

how Pop-Tarts were invented. Mmm, nice. Fuck,

4:43

dude! Yeah, that's the leading edge. Calm

4:46

down, there's like the group! Yeah. Shit!

4:49

And the woke- the woke- the

4:51

left is out here like, Pop-Tarts,

4:53

fuck off! No. Those like,

4:55

you're going crazy about this. They

4:57

whipped up into a blizzard over here,

4:59

these things. The SJW's the Strudel Justice

5:01

Ward here. SJW's are

5:03

out here, the SJW's are out here like,

5:06

no, man, make it about Strudel,

5:09

not Pop-Tarts, and they're so angry about it.

5:11

I got the idea that the man who

5:13

made the B-movie thinks that the problem with

5:15

comedy is that no one's out

5:17

here really- Now, just- now you're the one who's on thin-eyed.

5:20

Now, you're the one walking on a razor's

5:22

edge without realizing it. Be very careful, my

5:24

friend. You're in a precarious- I'm just saying,

5:26

if he thinks it's really so important to

5:29

be really pushing everybody- Transgressive, yeah. The

5:32

job of the jester is to turn a mirror

5:34

to the face of the king and say, you're

5:36

all bees, and I'm a bee, and everybody wants

5:38

to fuck the bee, be honest. And everybody

5:41

wants to have sex with bees, be honest. That's

5:43

what you're afraid to hear, king- For

5:46

what it's worth, I don't know that

5:48

Jerry wrote the B-movie. I'm pretty

5:50

sure he just starred in it. Oh

5:53

shit. I bet it's the kind of thing, Griffin, where are we? Nowadays,

5:56

when he shows up, you hand

5:58

him some talking. points for

6:00

the script and you're like Jerry no one's

6:02

more of a B-man than you yeah

6:05

you you he shows up

6:07

in B-face which we have a lot

6:09

of problems with but they know that he's

6:11

in he's in the mind space to just

6:13

freestyle all the lines we can talk as

6:16

much as we want obviously the three of

6:18

us are just trying to sort of notice

6:20

me senpai over here with mr. like we're

6:23

all very fine we're all Jerry senpai

6:27

we've all been we're just begging for

6:29

those scraps notice us recognize

6:31

us please I

6:33

don't want I'd actually rather not take a

6:35

ride in one of

6:38

your don't want Jerry Seinfeld to know who I

6:41

am I actually that's a good point that would

6:43

do way more fucking hard than good at this

6:45

point it would be so weird if they know

6:47

that Jerry Seinfeld knows who I am and might

6:50

have an opinion on me it's just know what

6:52

it's just I'm just in it's

6:55

so infuriating that if you believe

6:57

this is what comedy should be

6:59

doing the promise to woke left

7:02

okay Jerry thank you no

7:04

one has a bigger megaphone

7:07

than you if you want to be pushing

7:09

this nobody's got a bigger man megaphone here's

7:11

your megaphone Jerry what are you gonna do

7:13

with it okay everybody step back Jerry's gonna

7:15

put us all on blast I'm gonna

7:17

drive around with my friends and get coffee brand

7:21

fresh damn Jerry

7:23

slow down dog you

7:26

used to get home from your job and Becker

7:28

would be on TV waiting for you and the

7:31

world class took Becker away from us I

7:35

mean listen guys talking about man you guys

7:37

can't say here and talk shit about Gerald

7:40

fine folks point name a comedy

7:42

that's come out in the last 10 years you

7:44

mean I mean that's a good point you can't

7:46

do it you can't well well now wait they

7:48

adapted the Twitter feed shit my dad said it

7:50

to a show star William Shatner that's one that's

7:53

one that's one that's the one comedy man was

7:55

a plan Okay,

8:00

that's true You

8:02

think I feel like to now hey listen

8:04

Joel McHale I know he's got a lot

8:06

of bites at the apple you should check

8:09

Joel's IMDb you may have more than his

8:11

fair share back there That's true. Okay, so

8:13

okay, so that's some comedies Joel McHale's in

8:15

there, but no one's making Comedies

8:18

every morning like Jerry Seinfeld watched

8:20

the last episode of Big Bang

8:22

Theory and saluted and turned off

8:24

his TV forever And

8:27

he was like that's the last one TV Do

8:31

you guys remember when we finished doing me? Dollars

8:40

to fill with concrete this is my tomb

8:44

With comedy forever You

8:51

guys remember when we made the Mabim

8:53

band TV show and after we finished

8:56

filming the woke left came in to

8:58

the studio And was like sorry guys

9:00

this one's not gonna. We're

9:03

gonna destroy see so Can

9:08

we have it no no no no no no

9:11

no to a bunch Could

9:13

be fair they did tell us a lot of

9:15

the problem had to do with Jonah Ray show

9:18

It was that they were like you guys are

9:20

kind of transgressive, but he's got a fake travel

9:22

so we gotta shut that down Yeah, we gotta

9:24

shut that shit down The

9:29

world left is out here canceling young

9:31

Sheldon canceling Big Bang Theory.

9:33

Oh my god

9:37

I Was gonna

9:39

do a character this week called ever

9:41

Sheldon, and he's a Sheldon that that's

9:43

cool Okay, escape the bay the bounds

9:45

of linear time yeah, so he's neither

9:47

old nor young yeah ever pray Just

9:49

is has and always will be I

9:51

was I was I was thinking of

9:53

her Sheldon Which

9:56

I think he is like a tab like

9:58

a stone tablet that

10:00

has some of Sheldon's personality traits

10:02

written down. I know we've done

10:04

this before, but I don't think

10:07

I've ever pitched this. Young Sheldon

10:09

versus the UnSheldon. Ooh,

10:11

that's cool too, Trapp! Yeah. If

10:14

the UnSheldon comes in contact with

10:16

a Sheldon, it undoes them. Right?

10:19

It's like antimatter, the

10:21

UnSheldon. Every

10:23

Sheldon exists in defiance of the UnSheldon's

10:25

will. You know that as much fun

10:28

as we have with this bit, I

10:31

guarantee you some permutation

10:33

of this conversation like, okay guys,

10:35

Young Sheldon is ending. There

10:38

has to be some other fucking Sheldon we

10:40

could go around here. Yeah, they've been hanging

10:42

that carrot, dangling that carrot over our snouts

10:44

for some time now, huh? Yeah,

10:46

Young Sheldon's got to end soon. You guys got any jokes?

10:48

Just kidding. One more season. Thanks

10:50

for the free advertising. Idiots. I

10:53

can guarantee you the last

10:55

episode will end with a shot of

10:57

him opening a

10:59

button down and inside of it

11:01

is his Flash logo t-shirt. His

11:03

Fluffy T-shirt. And finally,

11:06

the transformation is complete. There is

11:08

no gap. I'm afraid to

11:10

make this prediction because I've learned I'm too

11:12

powerful. I'll cover that in

11:14

a second. But it's going to be given to

11:16

him as a gift from Leonard. Leonard will

11:18

give him the Flash t-shirt. Okay. Yeah.

11:22

I was enjoying Brothers

11:25

Gate, episode one, available on the YouTube Macro Family

11:27

channel now because I like the content that we

11:29

make. I think it's good and transgressive and the

11:31

world's last is trying to sell it. This is

11:33

kind of three different intros. Yeah. Yeah.

11:37

It's cool to kick that. And then the suggested videos

11:39

was a super cut of every time we've talked about

11:41

Frasier on this show and it was about 53 minutes

11:43

long. No

11:45

way. So almost an entire episode's worth of

11:47

our 711 episodes. Hey

11:50

Trav, next week I think we

11:52

should absolutely... Just hear that. Just

11:55

to air our Frasier discussion. Oh my gosh. Best

11:57

of Frasier discussions. But in it we were

11:59

talking about... Rebooting Fraser and this

12:01

is like four or five years

12:03

ago. Yeah, and I talked about

12:05

in this one now Fraser

12:08

Crane has to go live with his son and

12:10

he's Down

12:17

One last thing not to talk about Fraser more but

12:19

I'm gonna fourth intro I can't remember 3b

12:23

I feel like but this year's

12:25

sketch fest I Did

12:28

a show with an actor who

12:30

had been on the Frasier reboot and she

12:33

talked about That the crew

12:35

that the crew just was like, oh

12:37

man Kelsey Grammer just knows Fraser

12:39

inside and out and not just

12:42

like the character but like the

12:44

universe of Frasier and Apparently the

12:47

props department the sad department cost of it

12:49

writers. They'll run things by Kelsey Grammer and

12:51

he'll just be like that's Frasier That's

12:54

cool. He's like the Frasier ombudsman. Yeah,

12:56

he's like that's not Frasier I like

12:58

that those those wine glasses. Yeah, I

13:00

don't know if you've ever seen clips

13:03

of Mr. Grammer outside

13:05

of his Seattle

13:08

studio Part one of

13:11

him falling off the stage. This is very good.

13:13

Yeah, if you can find any clips of his

13:15

short-run Stand-up career

13:18

or any video of this man existing

13:20

outside of the context of Frasier I

13:22

believe you will come to discover that

13:24

he's just kind of Fraser Mm-hmm. I

13:26

think the reason that Kelsey Grammer kicks

13:29

so much ass at Frasier is Kind

13:32

of phrase like he is kind of free Fraser and

13:34

I might even see it. He's in like a

13:36

deep deep Who's

13:39

that actor who always goes ham on

13:41

that shit Daniel day lewis Daniel day

13:43

lewis shit. I'm saying that like he

13:45

found that actor Who's

13:47

that actor? Yeah, who always

13:50

goes ham on that

13:52

shit for a thousand points? Who's that? That

13:54

is got it always goes ham on that

13:56

shit and Travis is like, oh, yeah Daniel

13:58

day lewis Hey,

14:00

Justin, fifth intro. Fifth intro. One time, Griffin

14:02

and I played, I think it's Skattagirl, whichever

14:04

one where you pass the thing back and

14:07

forth and you have to name the thing.

14:09

Griffin and I are terrifyingly good at it.

14:11

It's really, really quite weird to behold. Anyway,

14:14

he's just kind of Fraser IRL

14:16

is all that I'm saying. So

14:18

that's Fraser. That's Fraser to me.

14:21

And now, and that's another, chuck this six

14:23

minutes on the fucking pile of Fraser. Well,

14:25

we got to get to a full hour

14:27

for monetization. Young

14:30

Fraser is another one they canceled. Woke left. I

14:32

think, I don't know if it's still running. God

14:34

dang it. They got us again. They got him.

14:39

Let's get into it. Let's help people. 15

14:42

minutes. Jesus Christ. Let's do our frigging jobs

14:44

for once. Let's go. I worked, Griffin,

14:47

what do you mean 15 minutes? Sometimes

14:49

Griffin doesn't like the amount of content

14:51

we make within the chat. No, it

14:53

surprises me. It surprises me sometimes how

14:55

long we can run, how

14:58

long a train we can run on Fraser. Sheldon

15:00

and... And Seinfeld.

15:03

And Seinfeld. I

15:05

guess they do provide. I work

15:07

in a shared office in a library. Good

15:10

job. My supervisor gets fresh eggs delivered

15:12

here weekly from a local farm. Yesterday,

15:15

the eggs appeared on her desk as

15:17

usual, but she is out on maternity

15:19

leave. Should I leave them on the

15:21

desk for her return? Should

15:23

I throw them out? Should

15:25

I send them back to the local farm? I

15:28

don't want them to rot, and I wouldn't want them to

15:31

go to waste. I don't know where she lives, so

15:33

I can't take them to her either. What exactly

15:37

should I do? I

15:40

don't like the

15:43

fact that eggs are in a library. Huh.

15:47

Hmm. That doesn't make... Speak on that. It's

15:49

just not where they kind of

15:52

go. Eggs is a farm thing

15:55

or a restaurant thing, but I

15:57

don't go to the library. Yeah,

16:00

but the library has books

16:03

and magazines. Well, they're not take okay. You

16:05

don't check the eggs out Griffin They're not

16:07

no. I know I know that but like

16:09

the idea that the eggs are there is

16:11

like it's weird I've never been in a

16:13

library and thought oh I

16:16

wonder if there's eggs in here. Yeah I

16:20

would just assume no because like it's not a farm

16:22

or a restaurant So like what

16:24

would the eggs be doing there? I was about

16:26

I felt so strongly when the

16:28

question asked her said like leave him on the

16:30

desk and then I thought I Actually,

16:34

I'm not a hundred percent sure eggs

16:36

need to be refrigerated. I Think

16:39

there's some I mean like all things

16:42

They will eventually return to the loam

16:44

Yeah, but but I do think that

16:46

they can sit out on a counter for a

16:48

let's let's not advise people on food

16:51

handling as funny and as safe as

16:53

that is Maybe we shouldn't

16:55

be making those calls on we're all googling

16:57

it. We might as well just look no

17:00

I think I don't I don't actually care

17:02

what you do with your eggs Don't

17:05

take though. Don't throw them out though.

17:07

That's seen washed eggs the last two

17:10

on the counter Now the

17:12

if this is a weekly delivery You

17:16

do need to solve this quick If

17:19

the egg person comes back and the eggs

17:21

are not there they will call the police

17:23

Yeah, because they will assume you have been

17:25

kidnapped because why didn't you get your eggs,

17:28

huh? Yeah, you need to get the eggs

17:30

out of there quickly. I would not leave

17:32

the eggs lying around Okay, but counterpoint you

17:34

do need either to alert The

17:38

person who should be getting the eggs before

17:40

you take them or definitely after you take

17:42

them Because I don't know how long in

17:45

America my turn to leave not long enough Am

17:47

I right? Yeah, if they come

17:49

back and they're like there's gonna be like there

17:51

should be like nine weeks of eggs here or

17:53

whatever I I think that it

17:56

is a little Question

17:59

asker I want I'm going to talk through the

18:01

options real quick. Should I leave them on our desks for

18:03

a return? Should I throw them out? Should I send them

18:05

back to the local farm? I don't want them

18:07

to go to waste. I don't know

18:09

who lives. There's one missing there, and it

18:12

is ask a

18:14

person about the eggs.

18:17

Maternity leave is not the Phantom

18:19

Zone. You can indeed reach out

18:21

to them who are on parental

18:23

leave. I will say this, it

18:25

depends on how far out from

18:27

the date of

18:29

delivery we are at.

18:31

Not egg delivery, but human beings delivery. It's eight

18:34

hours after your child is born, so it's like,

18:36

what do you mean, do these fucking eggs? Yeah,

18:38

that's no good. That's no good. Yeah,

18:41

just take them, make a little scramby. They're

18:43

eggs, they come, they're not missing them. They

18:45

don't give a shit about these eggs. They

18:47

made a person. Go have a scramby. Then

18:49

again, farm fresh, hand-delivered eggs. They're

18:51

paying a premium. They care a lot

18:53

about the eggs. I guarantee you this,

18:56

they've thought about the eggs. They've thought about the eggs.

18:59

Then? They've thought about the

19:01

eggs. Since the child has been born,

19:03

they've thought like, oh my eggs. Now

19:05

maybe not, here's the thing though. The other side

19:07

of it, oh, these sides of it. I'm sitting there, right?

19:09

I've just given birth to a beautiful child. And

19:11

then I think about the eggs. Maybe in the same breath,

19:13

I don't know. Oh, now that that's off

19:15

my mind, I can think about my eggs. What

19:18

is the process I would, do I

19:20

call a library supervisor?

19:23

To be like, hey, sorry, my eggs

19:25

are still being delivered to the library.

19:28

Can you do something with those things? It sounds

19:30

wrong, doesn't it? When you say that. It

19:33

is also, okay, now there is

19:35

also another possibility

19:37

here is you're gonna have to go to your

19:39

supervisor's supervisor to get this phone number if you

19:42

don't already have it. So you're gonna have to

19:44

go to your boss's boss and you're gonna say,

19:46

hey, I need Joan's phone number. And they're gonna

19:48

say, why? And you're gonna say, ah, fuck, I

19:50

was afraid you would ask that. I

19:54

have an egg question for Joan. Joan

19:57

just gave birth to a child.

20:00

No eggs are coming in! What

20:03

if you do this and you blow up Joan's whole

20:05

spot? That's what I'm saying. You

20:07

go to your supervisor. Joan

20:10

gets what? Where? Here? This

20:13

is a library! This is not a

20:15

farm. You mean books about eggs, right?

20:18

Surely you mean books about eggs. Do

20:20

you mean bookends? Maybe periodicals? Periodicals

20:22

about eggs? Eggs Weekly or something?

20:25

Oh, she gets delivered Eggs Weekly, the

20:27

magazine. Surely you mean... Absolutely.

20:32

She wouldn't get physical, maybe

20:34

wooden eggs to decorate for children.

20:37

Please tell me that's what you mean, Derek. I don't

20:39

want to have to fly her, Joan. She just had

20:41

a baby. Food eggs, then. So

20:43

is there a place outside she keeps

20:45

them? In the library, inside! Wow! Huh.

20:48

Under lock and key. Just sitting on

20:51

her desk? Just sitting on

20:53

her desk? Oh boy. You've given me a lot to

20:55

think about. Joan, I hope your

20:57

baby's well. Don't bother coming back. I

21:00

found out about the eggs, Joan. I

21:02

know about the eggs. I told her about

21:04

the eggs, Joan. I didn't know. I didn't

21:07

mean to ruin everything. Can I

21:10

take you guys to the wizard's shack? Yeah.

21:12

Take me there, Captain. Alright.

21:14

Hop on. With me and a little papoose?

21:17

Yeah, sure. You

21:19

both are in papooses around me and... Two

21:22

papooses? The papoose eye? Two

21:24

papooses, and I've got

21:26

my rocket. And we blast off to

21:28

the wizard's house. I

21:30

have a pompe le mousse, Papoose.

21:32

I love that. That's so good.

21:35

I love that. How to make

21:37

a staff, making a

21:39

staff for use in the woods or

21:41

for use in magical rituals can be a fun

21:44

project. Or both. Once

21:46

you've found a stick that seems appropriate for your

21:48

purpose, you can learn to carefully prepare it and

21:50

tailor it to whatever you have in mind. Want

21:52

to have a helpful walking stick? Want to larp

21:55

with your friends? Want to perform pagan rituals? We've

21:57

got you covered with the various methods in this

21:59

article. This sucks. You

22:01

know why it sucks? Because when you said how to

22:04

make a staff, I realized

22:06

there was a tiny, tiny little

22:08

voice inside me. It's like hell

22:10

yeah. Let's make a staff. Hey,

22:13

hey, you should – hey, J-Man, you know how

22:15

to do what's up. Why don't you make a

22:17

fucking staff? Hey, Justin, here's what I will propose.

22:20

I believe that within all of us,

22:22

there is an inherent desire

22:25

and understanding. How many times have you

22:27

been, no matter what age,

22:30

if you find yourself outside and you find

22:32

a longish stick and you make, oh, this

22:34

is the perfect mindset, this is perfect staff.

22:38

And I think it's not because there

22:40

is a platonic perfect staff, Justin, but

22:42

because there is a perfect staff for

22:44

each individual person and they know it.

22:46

Oh, okay. But it's also – this

22:48

is what's so great about a staff.

22:51

It really does fill several gaps in

22:53

the human psyche. So like anybody walking

22:55

in the forest sees a big, beautiful

22:57

stick on the ground, they think, I

22:59

would like that staff. Maybe

23:02

it's for hiking support. Maybe it

23:04

is for Bobcat weapons.

23:06

Or maybe – Battling ballrogs. You think you

23:09

are Gandalf the Grey and you want to

23:11

– Or Gandalf-fini. And you just want to

23:13

– Maybe you're

23:15

Gandalf-fini. You know, the butt of the staff to

23:17

your girl and just the face here. Hey, maybe

23:19

you got a little Tom Bombadil action where you're

23:21

just like a wanderer through the forest. You feel

23:23

like this staff will really take time to –

23:26

Well, that's going to be one of the biggest

23:28

types of – you could also be, if you're

23:30

me, and you're 10 years old, Donatello. Donatello,

23:33

yeah. Absolutely. There's so many reasons to pick

23:35

up a big, cool-looking stick in the woods.

23:37

So that – Yeah, I think this is

23:39

a powerful one. I think that's

23:41

actually a Teddy Roosevelt quote if I

23:43

remember correctly. It's a biological impulse is

23:46

what you're saying. You're saying that like

23:48

there's something deep within me that's like,

23:50

ah, yes, the most basic tool for

23:52

the thick-ass staff. I would go deeper

23:54

just then and say not biological, but

23:56

rather metaphysical. I think our ancestors' spirit

23:58

– All forwards house and

24:00

goes look at that fucking cool stick man. You

24:02

could really you could take down a mastodon with

24:05

that Yeah, that's right. You'll need that. Hey, we

24:07

can make a pretty kick-ass mastodon spear out of

24:09

that, huh? Oh grab that now shit I'm

24:11

a suspense man Method

24:13

one making a hiking survival staff. I

24:16

will go through this section as quickly

24:18

as is possible. Yeah Collect

24:21

dead wood of the appropriate height. Yeah,

24:23

no shit Green

24:25

wood is too bendable to be effective as

24:27

a walking or survival stick. So only collect

24:29

dead wood Yeah, for possible staff. They gotta

24:31

stop saying survival stick. I don't know like

24:35

What do you mean like what do they

24:37

what do they mean like by a walking or

24:39

survival stick? Well, you're gonna walk with it Justin

24:42

or you're gonna survive. Yeah, I know Now

24:45

this one's important to do and should

24:47

be doable by basically anyone look for

24:49

hickory or ash now

24:53

Remind me you guys are kind

24:55

of wood wood guys not necessarily

24:57

woods guys But if I'm

24:59

walking around and I'm not a guy made

25:02

of wood important. Yes, I am a Zach

25:04

woods guy though Okay, what a talent I

25:06

if I'm walking around the woods and I'm

25:08

not finding any hickory or ash I should

25:10

stop looking right because that just means those

25:13

trees maybe aren't in this particular forest Yeah,

25:15

yeah, that's the one problem with forest is

25:17

that you do not have infinite trees to

25:19

choose from Yeah, if you for example needed

25:21

to Harvest luscious

25:23

coconut for example, yeah That

25:27

would not be an option of yeah here

25:29

in West Virginia for example Other

25:31

good wood for walking section clean vikin

25:34

not an invasive species have we found

25:36

out palm trees are they invasive? I

25:38

plan a coconut what happened some fucking

25:41

invasive pairs over here. They stink like

25:43

shit. Yeah, they think you hair Yeah,

25:46

I think you invasive stupid. I bet

25:48

there's a way to prepare those Bradford

25:50

pairs dumbass Fucking

25:52

Bradford pairs all right So

25:56

plan a lot of them. Oh, they're beautiful. They stink like

25:58

shit and they're

26:01

covering the whole fucking

26:03

town because he's stupid ass. I bought a

26:05

chainsaw so I could start taking out Bradford

26:08

Pear if I see him. I hope stupid

26:10

deer eat stupid Bradford pears and shit themselves

26:12

to death. Yeah, I said it. I hate

26:14

deer. Deer, I hate them. Whoa, holy shit

26:16

Travis, that's a wild escalation. Deer killed many

26:19

of my trees and I hate them. I

26:21

saw a great TikTok where they're like, here's

26:23

how you properly prune a Bradford pear and

26:25

then they get a chainsaw and they just

26:28

cut it. Fuck, kick ass. Fuck, you gotta

26:30

be thick. They suck. Fuck Bradford

26:32

pears. And deer. Oh, her face. Fucking

26:35

invasive ass. Listen, stinky, beautiful trees. Travis,

26:37

I feel you. They're just giant beautiful

26:39

rats. I hate them. Travis, you keep

26:41

trying to rope Justin into a movement

26:43

that is so- He's not coming with

26:45

me. I know. No, yeah, yeah. And

26:48

also, yeah, sure. Okay, so remove

26:51

bark and notches. Use a sharp pocket knife to

26:53

whittle off the bark taking extra care to smooth

26:55

out any tiny branch notches

26:57

or uneven places. Yeah,

26:59

again, we're all doing this. Is

27:03

this why you guys are knife guys? So if

27:05

you find- Part of it. Yeah, it's

27:07

not loving. I mean, I've used the knife- I

27:10

feel like people might think you're joking. I've seen

27:12

you both whittle. Yeah,

27:14

I'm not joking. I always have a knife. What

27:16

are you talking about? That's one thing that Jerry

27:18

Seinfeld and I have in common. We

27:21

always have a pocket knife. He

27:23

has a really fancy one, but it's, you know. I

27:26

don't know a lot about him though, doesn't I? I bet he doesn't use it.

27:28

In his video, his like 15 essentials

27:31

like Kerry, he took great pleasure in informatics.

27:33

It was discontinued. Damn.

27:35

Just like comedy. Damn. Way to

27:37

flack. Just like comedy has been discontinued by the

27:39

Woke Left. Woke Left took my knife away. The

27:43

Woke Left TSA Took my knife

27:45

away by Jerry Seinfeld. It's just

27:47

the least predictable pivot you could

27:49

have possibly imagined. Fucking The guy

27:51

that played Jay Peterman is on

27:54

Fox News Like, you tell him

27:56

Jerry Seinfeld, you're finally on the

27:58

winning team with me. Jay

28:00

Peter been from Seinfeld and

28:03

Rob Slider. Anyway, This.

28:05

Tasks I don't like this next step.

28:08

I know we are just want to say

28:10

that allowed. Set. For seal with

28:12

stain. Know. If you want

28:14

to give your staff a clean and durable

28:17

finish, stain it with a good would have

28:19

finished or wiping stain. Ah, it's just like

28:21

don't do that. Don't do that because the

28:23

ultimate goal for any walking stick is when

28:26

you reach the end of your life's journey.

28:28

You. Planted into the ground as you

28:30

lay down and you gently die

28:32

next to it and from it

28:34

it springs beautiful tree that won't

28:36

have silver and children's children. Yes,

28:39

And I'm one day your dna will have been

28:41

preserved in the south of that tree and aliens

28:43

will be able to bring you back to life.

28:45

Death and real sit well as you don't. Since.

28:48

It does get it to move it. you're

28:51

right now since it could help protect the

28:53

would. Okay, just them. But here's the thing.

28:55

you're going to be out there in the

28:57

mud. Trump around is gonna war. There's not

28:59

a while since I've only read six. Hate

29:02

being in. Soil. Oh

29:04

no. wait, they become kick ass trees

29:06

when they were. And here's my laziness.

29:08

and when the stakes are on the

29:10

ground, the net stuff for them is

29:12

dark, paranoid. but know me or fucking

29:14

nature's way Just and yeah dollars. That's

29:16

what I'm saying. I don't want nature.

29:18

I don't want fucking Nature to claim

29:20

my staff know made So far as

29:22

and you've never been so fucking romeo

29:25

I you're aware way off base, beard

29:27

your way fucking are based you're going

29:29

on the woods staff. last Nature provides

29:31

you. Yeah, the first no longer rec.

29:33

That's. A ladder. My matter of

29:35

mice that know know node it's

29:37

not may have your search this

29:39

recession. See how fucking mother guy

29:41

made that sap for use A

29:44

good amount of a sweet dog

29:46

A provided I use my hands.

29:48

My. Hands and I took it from

29:50

God and I said this is mine and

29:52

not try.as imagine where they to just of

29:55

and you know it. I

29:57

mother die off. Or. virgil

29:59

now Now Travis you and I are

30:01

in different hands. I'm just saying you seal

30:03

you seal the staff and it'll protect it

30:05

So your kids don't want it all. It's

30:07

easy to go Don't

30:09

know what you got to leave gonna do

30:11

that whole course you sealed your staff and

30:13

you're so fucking wrong No, you

30:16

feel your staff know when you finish the

30:18

walk you finish your hike you play it

30:20

and you die down No, you lay the

30:22

staff back down for the next person who's

30:24

hiking from the opposite direction to find and

30:26

then they leave it At the end of

30:28

the trailhead you plant your staff in

30:30

the ground next to you as you die and

30:32

then me I've got a cool finished staff and

30:34

I walk past you and I say oh I

30:36

didn't die Cuz my staff wasn't rotten

30:39

it helped me to walk wait you die because

30:41

your staff broke at a worst Possible moment and

30:43

you fell and hit your head on a river

30:45

rock and now you're dead Hey,

30:48

tell me that you would get me rain

30:51

I gotta tell me you would train a

30:53

pro instead of befriending a crow without telling

30:55

me am I right Justin? You're out here

30:57

training the crow to do your bidding while

30:59

I'm making friends with the crow and doing it

31:01

one-on-one Guys there's no

31:04

there's a stink bug in my

31:06

coffee lid. Oh, yeah nature

31:09

Makes me tally aiding against Justin

31:12

Nature nature said that to teach you

31:14

a fucking lesson The

31:23

power of mother gala Need

31:27

to get you need to go out and

31:29

return some of your fucking field side Forgive

31:44

me forgive my my fucking

31:46

hubris Unbelievable

31:49

that's the gross. I'm gonna have to take the lid

31:51

and burn it and maybe your mouth, dude

31:54

God he see you is in there with the

31:56

coffee. Yeah, man, Justin I Give. Patriot

32:00

Bad although the I hated cities

32:02

as yes. Guys.

32:05

Sucks. I. Think we

32:07

have to go to the money so I

32:09

just sort of know how are unable to

32:12

get no magic soon as we're not gonna

32:14

go the money's I will take the late

32:16

money so how can you give me all

32:18

worked up about stats and the natalia make

32:20

one? Okay so ah discuss I'm building Charlie

32:22

Toklas said Charlie in the top of factory

32:24

and won't his entire goddamn factories associated with.

32:27

Ah, okay, so making that much about

32:29

making a mess yourselves Regular coffee though.

32:31

It. Sounds

32:34

as I i me my coffee

32:36

to do the talking. And the

32:38

podcast the Kids Only Winning isolate.

32:40

Now who's being a nature hater?

32:42

Travis insisted amp up the bugs.

32:44

Padma tuna tata nothing without. How

32:46

about collect wood after a storm?

32:49

Many wiccans, another neo pagan believe

32:51

that would sell by storm is

32:53

imbued with supernatural powers. Yeah, man.

32:55

litter able to afford an unnatural.

32:57

To get that guy gets Wonder Boy from

32:59

into the subway lighting and make them super

33:01

Get a base lox database leads to guys

33:04

have that is of a falstaff. My

33:07

promise. That's. Pretty cool

33:09

man. So they're like sport wizards is.

33:11

or as a baseball player, as gentle

33:13

wizards are flat. Wizards. Of

33:16

Whack is surviving. There was a

33:18

base was real hard. Yeah

33:21

no no I now but Wizards of

33:23

Whack does sound like of assertive early.

33:26

May. Be late nineties. pornographic website like maybe

33:28

one of the first ones actually out there

33:30

that you get on your a why isn't

33:32

anyone visiting our fights? They don't like baseball

33:34

far. As selected,

33:37

stick with significance. In Magic,

33:39

stats are traditionally symbolic of male energy and are

33:41

often linked to the wind and sun. Why would

33:43

it be associated with mail? And as it than?

33:45

I can't even fathom it. Ah, often they're made

33:48

of hickory or okay. this is boring when you

33:50

find a prospectus. Staff Simplicity. Hold it in your

33:52

hands. How ya to get a feel for it's

33:54

energy? When you hold the right one, you'll know.

33:56

and ideally your staff will be three to five

33:59

feet in length. I'll. Keep that they're

34:01

at the aunt like if I if I find a

34:03

real showed of a staff and like fighting with a

34:05

is there like I see I. I

34:08

said Robert I'd sell States is also

34:10

involved in a think that a person

34:12

waited eighteen and staff the see yeah

34:14

I'm emailing. Was this a seem right?

34:16

Maybe that's what they like, Maybe that's

34:18

been stabbed. They're lucky me that their

34:20

journey that cover for lately an ageing.

34:22

Get the fucking job done. This absolutely

34:24

A can. Listen. A piece of

34:26

my life When you sign with a

34:28

real gnarled, lumpy and on around or

34:30

and you're like on that a bill

34:33

flags my way around and Savard work

34:35

for a right side. Do a governor.

34:39

Ah Wiki how has crowd of butcher,

34:41

Korean army and here of Guy of

34:43

my Sulayem taken him the forgot months

34:45

until right vs. Daniel Day Lewis Order

34:47

a support. Sauce. Or

34:50

wound. Ago was

34:52

read the Guys against Ham On all that

34:54

said, if the guise of Hammond all access.

34:57

Or my here Daniel Day Lewis a new around

34:59

in the woods. The bless away. Fighting.

35:02

I think Leonardo Dicaprio. I don't know.

35:04

I only watched Gangs of New York

35:06

while I was on morphine with. Jimmy

35:08

Says that he said but what movie

35:10

is this for Daniels I'm not even

35:13

saw that movie at of all the

35:15

weird ago and I have I drink

35:17

your milkshake. They'll. Be

35:19

allowed to d. Cards

35:22

mind and I'm going to kill

35:24

a bear. Why? You're lucky. I'm

35:26

looking for Danny. He was the

35:28

boy I want to leave property make a movie

35:30

about the Daniel Day Lewis and not be blaze.

35:32

Daniel Day Lewis argued your bags of ourselves. It's

35:35

like weird answer quantum leap. About

35:38

or. Somebody

35:42

my factory reset swiss.

35:45

Your husband was a small

35:48

all of my back please.

35:51

We. Have to go home. as

35:54

about our that does that are what are

35:56

held by gotta finish this deep fried real

35:58

quick I need

36:01

to choose my time zone. Is

36:06

Daniel ready? I don't know. He's blinking? What color

36:08

is the light? It's

36:13

kind of like a purple, dark purple or light purple.

36:15

It's very important. This is going to sound wild, but

36:17

you're going to hit it with a wrench. It's hard

36:19

to get. Charge.

36:21

Charge or bless the staff. Depending

36:24

on your practice, you may have a particular ceremony

36:26

appropriate for the purpose of charging an object or

36:28

blessing it in preparation for magic. I don't like

36:30

this. I don't have this. I don't have a

36:32

practice. I came here to learn how to make

36:34

a magic staff, and one of the steps you've

36:37

provided is make the magic staff in the way

36:39

you do it. They're basically

36:41

saying do something magic

36:43

to it. You just got

36:45

to get your kyber crystals. No,

36:48

I don't have those. Again, it's like- Do you have

36:50

your kyber crystals, Justin? I

36:53

do just want to say step six, Travis has jumped ahead,

36:55

adorn the top of the staff with a charge stone or

36:57

crystal of significance to you. A kyber crystal

36:59

is the way to go. I

37:01

prefer, if I can get it, a black kyber

37:03

crystal because it's fucking cool as shit. Fuck,

37:06

dude. It is. That even makes sense, man. How do

37:08

you see it? That's

37:10

how they get you, though, invisible lightsaber. Invisible

37:13

lightsaber. They'll light up your cool

37:15

frog posters. I love that

37:17

shit. Do

37:20

you think they ever light joints with lightsabers?

37:22

I bet somebody does, right? Yeah.

37:24

I'm going to just skip the last section

37:26

of this is making a LARP staff. Just

37:28

use your magic staff. No one's going to

37:31

be able to- Well, you got to

37:33

be careful there because if you're LARPing and you

37:35

pretend to cast a spell but you're using your

37:37

real magic staff, it

37:40

could get a little dicey.

37:43

I mean, do you want to

37:45

fucking weave a story

37:47

of magic and fantasy or- That's a

37:49

good point. You know what I mean?

37:51

Lean into it. Do a little bit

37:53

of practical magic. I love that

37:55

movie. If I could make magic

37:57

things, I wouldn't need a staff. You

38:00

don't need a folk guy? What the fuck

38:03

Justin? That is the first thing actually that

38:05

a I didn't realize Justin that you were

38:07

so fucking advanced in your magical training that

38:09

you no longer needed folk guy to help

38:12

train you. No I'm not. Because fucking Harry

38:14

Dressing's out here he's been doing it for

38:16

like 50 years. He still uses his staff.

38:18

He still uses his blasting rod. He still

38:21

uses his shield bracelets. He still uses his

38:23

power rings. Are these real things this guy

38:25

has? Yeah. Justin's an iron man. Yeah

38:28

man he's the iron man of magic. Justin's

38:30

out here talking big shit game. He

38:32

can do magic without folk guy. Go off

38:34

Justin. Tell me King how do you do

38:37

your magic without? Is it when you were

38:39

finishing and sealing your goddamn staff? Your staff?

38:41

I just hoped that they would be more

38:43

practical step by step like

38:46

construction plans in the wiki out.

38:49

Okay. I'd be at a Home Depot by

38:51

a five foot dowel rod of fucking that's

38:53

half inch thick and painted all different whimsical

38:55

colors. Is that what you want Justin? I

38:57

thought it would be more fun to find

38:59

one in the forest and then figure out

39:01

what to do with it to make it

39:03

a staff. I just thought that people would

39:05

tell you fucking read a book dog. The

39:08

magic will tell you juice actually you do

39:10

seem kind of foolish now. If the magic

39:12

would tell me why do I need wiki

39:14

how? Why can't I how is inherently magic?

39:16

Goddammit Justin is this 101? What's up bud?

39:19

Makes perfect sense. I did it.

39:21

It's within how? That's

39:24

what it's short for. We're

39:29

not going to say anything funnier than that. Let's go to the

39:31

buddy's own. Thank you.

39:41

I love bombas sucks. I

39:44

didn't want to marry him. Boom roasted.

39:48

I am weird. It's such a weird weird vibe.

39:50

No I guess I've seen how happy you guys

39:52

are together and I feel like you've just been

39:54

kicking the can down the road. Go for it.

39:56

And I think it's fine. You know what? No,

39:58

you know what? No, I

40:01

won't play this game with you. These

40:03

aren't living things that you can marry

40:05

or fall in love with Travis. They're

40:07

just socks, but they're

40:09

the best socks in the world and you

40:11

need them. I

40:13

don't want people to think by taking a

40:16

silly tone with this that I don't mean

40:18

it from my heart. Rhombus socks. I'm

40:20

sorry. I didn't know you were so... Okay.

40:23

I'm sorry, Griffin. They got honeycomb

40:25

arch support. They got anti blister tabs. They're

40:27

genuinely very comfortable socks. They're comfortable in ways

40:29

that you didn't know you needed your sock

40:31

to be comfortable until you put one of

40:33

these bad boys on. This

40:36

is not bullshit. This is jokes out of the room.

40:38

When I put on a bomber sock, yes. Like

40:40

I'm going through my socks. At this

40:42

point, admittedly, 75% of my socks are

40:44

bomber socks. But that kind, the ankle

40:46

high, honeycomb...

40:49

When I put those on, I'm like, I'm getting shit done

40:51

today. I'm getting shit done. Anyway,

40:55

get comfy this spring and give back with

40:57

Bombus. Oh, I didn't even talk about

40:59

the fact that when you buy their

41:01

socks, tees or underwear. Yeah, they got

41:03

those too. You also donate essential clothing

41:05

to someone facing homelessness. To date, Bombus

41:07

has donated over 100 million

41:09

clothing items and counting. It's

41:12

genuinely the best. Get comfy this spring and

41:14

give back with Bombus. Head over to bombus.com/my

41:16

brother and use code MY BROTHER for 20%

41:18

off your first purchase. That's

41:21

bombas.com/my brother and use

41:23

code MY BROTHER at checkout. You

41:27

guys looking for a doctor? Well, you know what

41:29

I always say. If you need a doc, then

41:31

you got a sock. That's why we're talking about

41:33

sock doc this week. As I get older, I've

41:36

noticed new and interesting ways that my body begins

41:38

to fail me. And with

41:40

that, I must search for new doctors

41:42

to look at those specific areas of

41:44

my body that perhaps I've never even

41:46

considered maintenance on before. You

41:49

know what I mean? You know, you got

41:51

a podiatrist who's just like, yeah, man, you're

41:53

fucked up. It's fucked up. Yeah, but

41:55

how about that? It's all that's what happens, man.

41:59

And when that happens, God bless. I

42:01

think it's harder, we talked about this on

42:04

some episode, I think it's easier to make

42:06

new friends than to find a doctor, right?

42:11

Maybe I said the opposite of the episode. Finding

42:13

a friend who's a doctor? Forget about it. Well, that's probably

42:15

easy for you, Justin, because your wife is a doctor and

42:18

I assume she has friends that are doctors. Wow.

42:21

I guess I'm pretty cool. Okay. But

42:23

you know what else is pretty cool?

42:25

zocdoc.com. That's right. Because they can help

42:27

you find a doctor in your area

42:30

and book those appointments, doctors that will

42:32

make you feel comfortable, listen to you,

42:34

prioritize your help, and it's a free

42:36

app. ZocDoc is a free

42:38

app and website where you can search

42:40

and compare highly rated in-network doctors near

42:42

you and instantly book appointments with them

42:44

online. You can filter specifically for ones

42:46

who take your insurance, which is fucking

42:49

huge, and you

42:51

can usually see your book doctor between

42:53

just 24 to 72

42:55

hours, which is incredible. Sometimes you can even get

42:57

same day appointments. You got to

42:59

check that out, right? Yes? Okay.

43:03

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

43:06

Thank you. I just wanted a commitment for

43:08

once. So go to zocdoc.com/my brother and download

43:10

ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book

43:12

a top rated doctor today. That's

43:15

z-o-c-d-o-c.com/my brother. I

43:21

wish I could go back to like medieval

43:23

times and say to like a person, like

43:25

the prince or

43:28

whatever, zocdoc.com, and then they would be

43:30

like, you are a sorcerer. This sorcerer

43:33

has come from distant lands. No,

43:35

that can't be a sorcerer. He sealed his staff. Yeah.

43:38

He's clearly a saint. He's a tiny, fucking jabrani.

43:40

Hello teachers and faculty. This

43:43

is Janet Varney. I'm

43:50

here to remind you that listening to

43:52

my podcast, the JV Club with Janet

43:55

Varney is part of the curriculum for

43:57

the school year. Learning about the teenage

43:59

years. of such guests

44:01

as Allison Brey, Vicki Peterson,

44:03

John Hodgman, and so many

44:05

more is a valuable and

44:07

enriching experience. One you

44:09

have no choice but to embrace,

44:11

because, yes, listening is mandatory. The

44:14

JV Club with Janet Varney is

44:16

available every Thursday on Maximum Fun

44:18

or wherever you get your podcasts.

44:20

Thank you. And remember, no running

44:23

in the halls. If

44:30

you need a laugh and you're on the go, try

44:32

STOPP. P-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-R. Hmmm. Are you

44:34

trying to put the name of the

44:36

podcast there? Yeah, I'm trying to spell

44:38

it, but it's tricky. Let me give

44:40

it a try. Okay. If

44:43

you need a laugh and you're on

44:45

the go, call STOPP. P-P-A-D-R. Ah,

44:48

it will never fit. No, it will. Let me

44:50

try. If you

44:52

need a laugh and you're on

44:54

the go, try STOPP. P-P-D-C-O-O. Ah,

44:57

we are so close. Stop

44:59

podcasting yourself. A

45:02

podcast from maximumfun.org.

45:04

If you need a

45:06

laugh, call STOPP. And

45:09

you're on the go.

45:11

Okay, time out. I'll

45:14

come back next. Huh.

45:20

It sounds like Skrillex being played in

45:22

another room. Yeah, like trap, dance.

45:27

Oh, it's getting louder. Turn it

45:32

down. Oh. Yeah. Turn it

45:34

down. I gotta do the

45:36

thing. Turn it down. Taffy, turn it

45:39

down. What's

45:42

up, buddies? Hey, Richard.

45:44

Happy spring. Spring is spring. I'm here to

45:47

do the thing. Yeah. Hey, Richard, real quick.

45:49

Spring's first day of spring. I always come

45:51

to you in the first beginning of the

45:53

season. Yeah. And here he is to guide

45:55

you into spring or whatever. We're going to

45:58

get demonetized actually if you do keep. Skrillex

46:00

in the background if you could ask Daphne who

46:02

is that Skrillex? Oh,

46:05

it's not a recording you've got actual

46:07

Skrillex there with you. His room name

46:09

is Daphne. Oh Yeah,

46:11

I didn't know that skrillex Daphne Skrillex

46:14

his full name. That's cool. Yeah, we

46:16

got the whole Yeah,

46:20

so yeah, happy spring. I'm happy

46:22

to be here to do the

46:24

show. I'm sorry. I've been alone

46:26

I'm preoccupied guys been no

46:28

really busy over here. What have you been

46:30

doing? What's been going on? Well, I got

46:32

I'm kind of not doing like Living

46:36

by myself anymore. It started to

46:38

work out Bad,

46:41

so I got like kind of a

46:43

group of people Shit

46:46

that are staying with me. Are you like

46:49

a crazy house? One

46:52

of you a speaker at a time. Are you doing

46:54

a content house? Well,

46:56

I it's a house. Well, it's

46:59

called we call it love based alpha. Okay,

47:01

he's uh How

47:03

do you say? abandoned

47:06

Aldi Yeah,

47:08

yeah Yeah,

47:11

but we call it love based alpha

47:13

and this is kind of our spot

47:16

You know, we're and spraying us there

47:18

prying eyes and prying noses Stay

47:21

far away from me riches thinking

47:23

everybody else who else was there?

47:26

Well, okay Me

47:29

yeah Fastening screw

47:31

like yeah. Yeah Ringo

47:34

is here a Ringo

47:37

is here. I cannot say more. Did you

47:40

say Ringo or ring? He did wink rango

47:47

Is it the animated gecko? Rango

47:50

Yeah, okay. Cool. That's

47:53

he's he or Ringo is here Ringo and

47:55

Ringo got him both man I bet they

47:57

have a lot of fun together with that

48:00

hate each other but these are

48:02

bad over here. Ringo Starr

48:04

is always trying to step on them little

48:06

wrangleies. I get them back here but they

48:08

have some mushy. It's terrible. It's how much

48:11

it blew as it kills the vibe. But

48:13

then there's about 700 other people and me.

48:17

Wow. Hold on. That's a lot of people to

48:19

live. It feels like that man. You get to

48:21

300 and you're like

48:24

wow there's so many people and then

48:26

a lot more than that show up

48:28

and they're but they're so nice. Well,

48:31

yeah, it's hard to tell

48:33

them like go somewhere else because they're

48:35

like they always say stuff like oh

48:37

Richard you

48:39

know everything or like Richard

48:42

you are sort of a kind

48:45

of a Jesus for us. Now

48:47

hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

48:49

That sounds like you're describing is

48:52

what I would call a cult.

48:55

Okay. So people you could be using this word

48:57

and I did not know. But

48:59

let's talk about because I don't feel

49:02

that way. It's just friends.

49:04

Yeah. That's the case and it's it's

49:07

it may have been proper. We're doing

49:09

some stuff we sense that the government

49:11

doesn't like love. You know they're

49:13

not like wild about some of the things we're

49:15

doing. So we like to kind of not

49:18

tell them about it

49:20

and rain and rain goes comfortable with

49:22

this. Rango is the

49:24

guy who made the spy all the

49:27

guns to play. Okay. Hold on. Hold

49:29

on. Hold on. Wait. Wait. Wait. You

49:31

know now that that's too I begged

49:33

him to stop. Yeah. The rain. I

49:36

said rain. It's too dangerous. Yeah. But

49:38

in but yes it I am. Uh

49:42

it is called the symposium on cosmic

49:44

harmony and it's like my kind of

49:47

friends. We kind of I thought it

49:49

was love based alpha. I'm sorry. Really.

49:51

That building where we live. The

49:54

symposium on cosmic harmony is sort of

49:56

like our friend group. You know what

49:58

I mean. It's a group chat

50:00

name. It's a group chat is like the symposium

50:04

on causing harmony. Yeah. So

50:06

you would say like, come hang out with the symposium

50:08

on cause of harmony. You don't call the wild hogs?

50:11

Yeah. The 10-Ollie movie? Call

50:13

themselves a wild hogs? Yeah. We

50:16

are like, it's like that except we

50:19

call ourselves the symposium on cause of harmony.

50:21

Yeah. I really want to

50:23

hear about Spring Sense before I do justice

50:25

check. Yeah, you can get you guys down

50:28

here. Perfect. I want to hear

50:30

about Woke Left and how

50:32

it's affecting comedy these days, Richard. Right.

50:35

It's so cool that you say that.

50:37

We are all woke here. It's

50:42

all about cosmic wakefulness, cosmic harmony,

50:45

cosmic unity. And that

50:47

means Woke Left, you are

50:49

welcome. Hardcore, right?

50:52

Like so bad. Like you're getting grossed

50:54

out because of how far? Come

50:56

on in. I'm going to say

50:59

whatever nasty things is open here.

51:01

It's about sense. The thing is

51:03

the sense has to

51:06

be this is sense harmony, but

51:08

everything else is a really bad word. It's

51:11

not the part of harmony. It's not a priority.

51:14

Okay. How is that going, Richard? It

51:16

smells good. Okay. No,

51:18

but how does it look and sound and

51:21

feel like how did it act like it

51:23

either? I have been locked inside here with

51:25

square legs. We barred the door. It's terrible

51:27

out there, guys. I need you to come

51:30

get me. This is why I call you.

51:32

Please. Listen. Okay.

51:35

Okay. Fine. Wrangle

51:37

took over. Wrangle said. Yeah.

51:40

Wrangle said, Richard, I have all

51:42

the guns. I'm a taking

51:44

over and me and spirit like here, we

51:46

boarded up the doors. You guys got to

51:48

come here. We're in the freezer. We

51:51

brought up a fight through wrango and his

51:53

goons to get that sounds tough, dude. I

51:55

shouldn't have let him get so powerful. Guys,

51:58

you should have seen it coming. In a

52:01

sense, some of

52:03

this isn't my fault. A little bit,

52:05

Richard. In a way, I feel like

52:08

I just wanted to make a sick community

52:10

where everybody could feel good and smell better.

52:12

You know what I mean? I have good

52:14

news for you, Richard. And now everybody... What?

52:17

Big one. Yeah. The good

52:19

news, Ringo is

52:21

a government agent. He's got a plan.

52:23

I'm gonna pull some strings. I'm gonna

52:25

get you a- You're coming home, pal. We're gonna need

52:27

something from you, though. We're gonna need something from you.

52:30

This makes sense, because I wondered

52:32

why the Beatle sounded like he's

52:34

from Indiana. Yeah, that's right. I

52:36

was tricked. He's six foot three.

52:39

Right? And I guess- He sounds

52:41

Venezuelan. It's so confusing why he's a

52:43

Ringo to me. Yeah, but it's enough

52:45

going on that you couldn't pin it

52:48

down, right? That was our plan. And

52:51

as a representative of the government, I do

52:53

need something from you before this kind of

52:55

a, you know, a little tip for Pat.

52:58

Oh, a flip. I've been trying to flip since I

53:00

opened it. Like, the first day I opened it, I'm

53:02

like, you better come stop me. No, I do. I

53:04

want you to flip on Ringo real hard. We've been

53:06

trying to get him for a while now. Yeah. But

53:09

I also do need to know the spring sense to

53:11

look out for him. We are all kind of looking

53:13

for something. Oh, baby,

53:15

when spring rolls in, and I kept waiting for

53:17

you guys to point out it's two months late

53:19

from the beginning of spring, but nobody really got

53:21

onto it. Who

53:23

knows? But like, vetiver,

53:25

you know, huge. Always.

53:27

I love anything

53:31

green is huge. But like, we're

53:34

kind of beyond artificial

53:36

sense here. So

53:39

it's kind of more about like the sense that

53:41

aren't there. Does that make sense? That part sounds

53:44

good. Are you sure you want us to come

53:46

get you? Because it does sound like you have

53:48

a bit of a good thing going. Well, listen,

53:51

again, if it

53:53

weren't for the fires, you would smell all

53:55

of it like so good. But the fires,

53:58

they're burning everything. Please

54:00

you have to come! I'm

54:03

so scared! Please, Skrillex and I are

54:05

out of cliff bars. And

54:07

listen, Skrillex squares. I

54:09

think they're elevation bars cause they're just all this.

54:12

Skrillex swears that he is out

54:14

of PB, which is my favorite

54:16

cliff bar. And he

54:18

says that we only have Almond the

54:21

white charlotte left. And I know

54:23

he's fucking lying to me. Yeah, I know he

54:25

has the PB and he just won't share. So

54:27

I need you guys to come, beat up

54:30

Skrillex for me and then get me out. We

54:33

can do that. How's your walk? Cause

54:35

I noticed your cross necklace. I feel

54:38

like you're usually rocking a cross and I'm not seeing

54:40

it there. That's, yeah,

54:42

I got confusing. For

54:47

me to be like, the big guy has the answers

54:49

and then everybody looks like, we know. And

54:52

then they look at me like, yeah? And I'm

54:54

like, um, yeah, for sure. I'm the best one

54:56

there is. Way better than Jesus. And

54:58

I have to go back later and be like, Jesus,

55:00

you know, I'm giving you. Like, you know, it's you

55:02

and me forever. Yeah. Cause I love him so much.

55:05

He saved my soul. I got to help forever. Not

55:07

like these people. They believe in

55:09

a false idol of me. You. And they go

55:11

in the dirt. I tried to tell them different.

55:13

They don't listen to me anymore. Did you, Richard, did

55:16

you, how hard? Do

55:19

they listen to people whose statues they turned down?

55:21

No, you don't want to listen to somebody whose

55:23

statue you tore down. I see them turn down

55:25

my statue. It's not

55:28

a big deal. Oh, I'd be upset. It

55:31

wasn't even a thing because the scent harmony

55:33

was on point. I don't care what people

55:35

are doing with their words or

55:38

actions at all. As long as they smell

55:40

so. So

55:42

are there like brands or sense

55:44

you'd recommend or Paco Rabanne classic?

55:46

Yeah. And also Paco Rabanne is

55:49

a classic. And another huge one

55:51

is coming to pick up your

55:53

boy Richard from this situation as

55:55

moon base. Alpha is off

55:58

of 64 moon base. We're

56:00

looking for love-based alpha. So where do we know

56:02

base alpha is next door? It's where he stored

56:04

all the guns I'm in love base alpha, which

56:06

is the freezer with spillings. Please come out you

56:09

were on our way in about four hours Cool,

56:12

buddy. Thank you. You're welcome, buddy. Can you

56:14

send just right back in? What then just

56:16

sit back in so we can wrap up? Yeah, absolutely.

56:18

Absolutely. Let me go get them one sex on If

56:26

a trace of that if a stem of that

56:29

song was playing in the background of that big

56:31

it will be unusable What's up strong Justin? Sorry

56:33

guys. I made a huge VM for 30 minutes

56:35

and now I'm in my my

56:38

my a shirt That's not cutting Justin

56:40

because Richard was only here for about

56:42

17 minutes Yeah, that

56:44

would imply that during the money zone and

56:46

some of the first half of the show

56:48

you were shitting Yeah, okay this

56:50

week. We're gonna be in Vancouver and Washington

56:53

that Vancouver show is sold out But

56:56

I think I said Vancouver the Vancouver

56:58

show is sold out Tacoma Taz is

57:00

going to be Taz versus The

57:03

Great Gatsby which is gonna be huge So

57:05

you can you can come see that if

57:07

you have a question you want answered at

57:09

the Mabim M show or which to fungalore You

57:12

want read aloud you can email that to

57:14

M B M B a M at maximum

57:16

fun org and put your city in

57:18

the subject line Thank you

57:20

so much to Montaigne for these for a theme song.

57:22

My life is better with you it

57:25

is a crowd-pleaser and

57:28

a Jam

57:30

squeezer and you know it Real

57:33

quick to slip in there June 21st

57:35

through the 23rd, Kansas City st.

57:37

Louis and Tysons, Virginia Yeah, I wanted to

57:40

mention that all all the a.m. They

57:43

thought I Y for slash Macroy tours for tickets and

57:45

more information Also, I mentioned it

57:47

early in the episode But we started putting

57:49

out a series called brothers gate me Justin

57:51

Griffin and our dad Clint playing ballers gate

57:54

three together You can find

57:56

that on our Macroy Family YouTube channel along with

57:58

a lot of other great stuff. The club

58:00

and game he streams and all kinds of

58:02

stuff I am check out my grammar zoc

58:04

com at for all the great Mcelroy Mertz.

58:07

Just. And do you want to redo the

58:09

you want to elevate the where's yeah for sure

58:11

lifted out if. You

58:18

wish Coffee machine at work was more

58:20

discreet. And

58:22

he just as Rachael Java Zachariah and prefer

58:25

Mack right? Remember my brother may kiss you.

58:27

Dad's were on the left. Maximum.

59:03

Alert. Road network of artist own

59:05

shares. Are

59:08

you.