Episode Transcript
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0:00
The McElroy brothers are not experts
0:03
and their advice should never be followed. Travis
0:06
insists he's a sexpert, but
0:08
if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.
0:11
Also, this show isn't for kids, which
0:14
I mentioned only so the babies out there will
0:16
know how cool they are for listening. What's
0:18
up you cool baby? To
0:30
a precious friendship! I
0:33
could've never seen what was coming for
0:35
me Hangs at the
0:38
skate park, hangs by the
0:40
beach My life, it feels
0:42
like Life!
0:46
Ahh! It's
0:48
better, it's better with you My
0:51
life! Ahh! It's
0:55
better, it's better with
0:57
you This is true,
0:59
ahh! It's better, it's
1:01
better with you My
1:04
life! Ahh! It's
1:08
better with you Hello everybody
1:11
and welcome to my brother my brother me
1:13
and advice show for the modern era.
1:15
I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy I'm
1:17
your middle brother, what up Travnation? Big
1:19
dog, middleist, Travis, woof woof, I almost
1:21
forgot. McElroy I'm
1:23
not here to sow seeds of
1:26
discord amongst Travis's
1:28
constituents No, I'd hope not Griffin
1:30
if I find out that that
1:32
is happening Retrovision will
1:34
be swift. Bro, no sedition guarantee
1:37
on my part but I do
1:39
just want to say the king
1:41
is slipping no
1:44
sedition but the emperor has no
1:46
clothes so that's all. That's a
1:48
different thing though Griffin, how I
1:50
record this show from the ways
1:53
down is my thing. That's
1:55
true Say your name. I'm Griffin
1:57
McElroy, if I had my own nation I would never ever
1:59
forget about it or I would let you feel
2:01
like I had forgotten about it for even a
2:03
second. But you have to forgive me, Griffin, because
2:05
we recorded a metric ton of
2:07
podcasts, especially My Brother and My Brother and
2:10
Me last week, went on
2:12
what everyone's calling a wildly successful tour. Yeah,
2:15
sure. And Tyson's Corner and
2:17
St. Louis and Kansas
2:19
City were amazing, but
2:21
we have done a lot of My Brother
2:24
and My Brother and Me in the last week. Yeah.
2:28
That's kind of an innovator, a revolutionary,
2:30
what I've done. Yeah. Because
2:32
I don't know if we have like an hour of My
2:34
Brother and My Brother and Me in the tank, right? So
2:36
what I did, I hired a young
2:40
photojournalist to get me a bunch
2:42
of pictures of Spider-Man that
2:45
I would like to share with you now.
2:47
He took all these pictures of Spider-Man for
2:49
me. So
2:52
just to be clear, your intro is
2:55
we are too tired from doing our
2:57
show three times. We
2:59
possess some sort of adrenal gland
3:02
from which we produced the show
3:04
that perhaps due to age or
3:08
other sort of genetic factors, we
3:10
are unable to refill fast enough
3:14
to make jokes for one hour
3:17
today. So instead, we're
3:19
gonna look at together
3:21
some pictures of Spider-Man in our
3:23
largely audio-based podcast. And
3:25
it's so important, these are new,
3:27
fresh, hot pictures of Spider-Man that
3:30
this young photojournalist took for me. Okay, so these
3:32
are new pictures. These are new pictures of Spider-Man
3:34
we're gonna watch instead of doing the show we
3:36
do once an hour every week. Yeah,
3:39
so this is one. Okay, Griffin, you have
3:41
made an excellent statement and I do wanna zero in on
3:43
that. Please. The show we
3:45
make for one hour once
3:47
a week, that's the covenant, isn't it? That
3:50
is the deal that we have made with God
3:53
and our listeners. We
3:55
had to do like three of them in
3:58
a row. Yes. violation.
4:00
Yes. So, so to, to again, drill
4:03
right in on that for three of
4:05
the 168 hours present in every
4:09
week, we had to do jokes,
4:12
squish out our glands to make all the
4:14
comedy comments. It was like 80 minutes. The
4:16
idea that in a once
4:18
in a seven day span that we
4:21
would spend four out of 168 hours
4:24
making jokes for you is self, you're
4:26
selfish greedy pig. Okay.
4:28
You're all right. Let's talk about this. Griffin,
4:30
you're wasting. I just say, just, you're wasting a lot of time.
4:32
I have 350 glossy 11 by 17 pictures. I'm
4:37
making sure I understand. Yeah.
4:43
I did. I paid him $25,000. We
4:46
could just dig a little deeper. Yeah. Oh,
4:49
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just whenever you get
4:51
back to these pictures. Yeah. Definitely. I
4:54
got one with his mask off. We can see how
4:56
he is. We definitely do. I make you a deal.
4:58
You button up one button. I will
5:01
only make you wait five minutes. Okay.
5:03
Listen, I just want to
5:05
drill down. If you believe what you're saying,
5:07
Griffin, then we have to produce 52 of
5:09
these a year, right? Yeah. Then
5:12
by your logic on Jan
5:14
one, two, and a little bit of
5:16
three, we should just shit out the
5:18
whole get bootle. And then we're yacht
5:21
bound, baby, for the rest of the
5:23
year. From episode five
5:27
on of that three day
5:30
horror marathon that you have just devised
5:32
for us would be noticed
5:34
the lack of bathroom breaks. We
5:36
would have less of it would
5:38
happen during we would
5:41
be, we would be set sail
5:43
for something else to talk about.
5:45
We would be less sort of
5:47
a show created for like a
5:49
comedy consuming audience and instead a
5:54
fleet of healthcare
5:56
workers scientists will then
5:58
become sort of. our core
6:00
audience as they listen. As we go
6:03
places no other human mind
6:05
could even conceive of after making jokes for five hours
6:07
and three days. I have a picture
6:09
of Spider-Man killing a man here. Like,
6:12
you guys, I'm, I
6:14
paid top dollar. Okay. I'm
6:17
just saying how many of these, Griffin, so
6:19
we can agree that that, your
6:22
argument is somewhere between 52 in a row.
6:25
Spider-Man eating a player. And one a
6:27
week. One a week. Yeah. There's
6:31
a number of these that you think
6:33
that you could crank out where your
6:35
argument gets. Travis, this is Spider-Man. Don't
6:38
get me wrong, Juice, we're approaching the
6:40
limit. I just, and this is my
6:42
young, this is my virility shining through.
6:45
Yeah, that's that multivitamin. I'd
6:47
say that multivitamin taken, my
6:49
joke glands are swollen and
6:52
tender and ready to juice. Right.
6:56
Me too, Griffin, I'm fired up. And
6:58
Travis, the time has come. The
7:00
ramp has been built and I don't think, I've
7:03
actually called in the AP. No
7:06
one has ever seen a joke ramp
7:08
built like this before when the target
7:11
of it is so absolutely
7:13
amorphous. Microscopic, yeah. Can I tell you?
7:15
I'm looking at these, I'm looking at
7:17
these pictures for the first time. They're
7:19
all hand-drawn and crayon, if I'm being
7:21
honest. Okay. So these are
7:23
not, so when you said photojournalist, you meant like
7:26
largely a crayon based. Well,
7:29
I never looked at him. I paid him his money
7:31
upfront. I think I got taken
7:33
for a fool. Was he, could
7:35
you see through his work
7:37
clothes? What
7:40
if I just ended the sentence right there? Could
7:43
you see peeking through his work
7:45
clothes, red webbed garments? Yeah, but
7:47
I thought he was carnage. You
7:51
thought he was carnage, but you still hired him for the
7:53
job anyway. Well, if he could give me the photos I
7:56
need to finish.
7:58
Carnage, why did you do that? To finish the
8:00
newspaper? To finish the newspaper. Sure. What
8:04
if Carnage came in and J. Jonah Jameson
8:06
was like, what the fuck are these? And
8:08
Carnage was like, pictures of carnage. And he
8:10
was like, I don't want these. I
8:13
want pictures of Spider-Man. Do you think
8:15
that I'm like- But I,
8:17
but I, Carl Beegerman, don't
8:20
know Spider-Man. I only
8:22
know carnage. I'm like the
8:24
900th picture of Spider-Man that J. Jonah Jameson
8:26
received from Spider-Man. Do you think he was like,
8:28
all right, Peter, that's enough pictures of Spider-Man. Now
8:30
give me pictures of the human torch. And he
8:32
was like, I don't know how to do that.
8:35
I actually don't, that's something I could do.
8:37
Okay, wait guys, can I, whoa,
8:41
Travis. There has
8:43
definitely been a point at which Peter
8:45
Brook is like, I
8:47
can climb on walls and
8:49
I'm hard up for cash. And
8:51
I hate the human torch. I
8:54
bet he's been like paparazzi. I
8:57
bet Spider-Man, there's been a point where someone's
8:59
like, hey, Johnny, look out the window. Spider-Man's
9:01
like, ah, damn it. It wasn't
9:04
me. Spider-Man, it was
9:06
you. It was you, Spider-Man,
9:08
we saw you. My man is in Avengers Tower,
9:11
making all the Avengers uncomfortable. Just
9:13
like, yeah, we're gonna go get Thanos, get
9:15
his ass, rip his hand off. Hulk,
9:18
stay right there. Hulk look angry.
9:20
Palette, good. Peter,
9:24
bring me pictures of Thanos. Oh,
9:27
okay. Oh, fuck. Now I've got some mixed
9:29
sprayer. What about snuff picture? Here's a dead
9:31
picture of Thanos. Holy shit, Peter. How did
9:33
you get that, Parker? He was on a
9:35
different planet, I think. I was on Mars,
9:37
I was on Titan, cut his fucking head
9:40
off. I mean, Star-Lord
9:42
did. Star-Lord did. I
9:44
got a lot of questions, Parker. About talking
9:46
about the MCU. Can you guys imagine doing
9:48
a podcast just about the MCU? It's
9:51
Chris Pratt. If you get
9:53
to Chris Pratt in a conversation, it's
9:55
a comedy vortex. It's
9:57
it, there's nothing there. It's nothing. So
10:00
I was like, yeah, I don't want to talk about this. Yeah.
10:03
No, he's not the Snoopy people. He's the dirty
10:05
dog. Who's that dirty dog in Snoopy? Who's
10:08
the dirty dog in Snoopy? Who's the dirty dog in
10:10
Snoopy? Pigpen. No. Joe
10:13
Dirt. Yeah. The Pigpen. Something dirt.
10:17
Wait, Joe Dirt? Joe Cool.
10:19
There's Joe Cool. Hold on. Joe Dirt
10:21
is David Spade. You
10:24
guys can feel it, right? We had momentum,
10:26
and then we started talking about the Marvel Cinematic
10:28
Universe. And it just really fell off. And
10:30
we've already clarified that Snoopy's not funny. Right off
10:32
a cliff. Spike is his name. Fresh Us
10:34
would never. Fresh Us would never. Fresh
10:37
Us would never. Fresh Us would never. Four
10:39
hours of goofs us. We're
10:41
leaning on those Everlasting Rs with Chris Pratt. They're so big.
10:43
And I'll hold this right up. Give
10:46
me an Evans. All
10:48
day. That's my Christmas choice. Please
10:50
start reading a question. Everybody, what's
10:53
your favorite, Chris? What's
10:56
your favorite, Chris? Parnell.
11:00
Oh. God. You got it, Noir.
11:02
It's ham. Juice, I think you might have the wrong lights
11:04
on, because it seems like you're at
11:06
a library computer. There's
11:08
your beautiful baby, Griffin. Is this what you wanted?
11:11
Yeah, man. Tell me where the files
11:13
are. Where's the microfilm? Now
11:16
this is cool. What do you think about this? Ooh, I
11:18
like that. Like a dramatic light, Noir. We're going to win
11:21
an Oscar now. It
11:23
really speaks to the duality. Taylor, Taylor, Soldier,
11:26
Justin. Yeah, man.
11:28
You look fucking wild. No,
11:30
dude. Yeah, dude. No, I like this.
11:33
What? You
11:35
look crazy. It looks too sexy? What
11:37
is the problem? Yeah. I
11:39
think you look like a sexy Too Faced. Imagine
11:41
if Too Faced was having this face with sexy
11:43
and the other half was even sexier. That's
11:46
what we're looking at. Here's the problem. If I want
11:48
it flat on me, I have to stand up and
11:50
walk all the way over. I have to take the
11:52
headphones off again. Are you guys OK? Are
11:55
you guys OK that doing four
11:57
hours of jokes and standing up and talking to
11:59
me to walk around your desk. It wasn't just four hours
12:01
of jokes, the outside just sit in the green room for
12:04
like an hour and a half beforehand playing Stardew
12:06
Valley, Griffin. Playing Stardew Valley and eating Skittles. Like,
12:08
no, dude, I get it. Our
12:11
life is hard, okay? I understand that.
12:13
I mean, football players play what? Three
12:15
hours of football once a week? You
12:18
know what I mean? I think they do have to practice doing
12:20
football. We have to practice? Okay.
12:22
You guys don't practice jokes? It's
12:24
better, Juice, it's better. Okay.
12:29
I'm ready for a movie show. Bring me those pictures
12:31
of the fuck man. All right. It's
12:36
time to take another question. What's
12:39
the first question? What
12:41
do you do if you're Pagliacci
12:43
from Justin? Yeah, yeah,
12:46
sure. That was Pagliacci's issue
12:48
if memory serves, is he went to the doctor,
12:50
he's like, dude, I had to
12:52
do four fucking shows this week. And at
12:55
one point they were like, Pagliacci, walk around
12:57
this small table. And I was
12:59
like- And no one podcasts for the podcasters, you know?
13:01
Yeah, yeah. Is it weird
13:03
to wear patterned underwear based on the friend
13:06
I am hanging out with? For example, I
13:08
was about to hang out with my friend
13:10
who really likes marine biology, so
13:12
I wore my underwear with octopi
13:14
on them. Additional info, thank
13:16
you. It isn't sexual in any nature.
13:19
The friend will not see them. This is for
13:21
me a fun thing. I do this frequently, maybe
13:23
once a week. I have a wide variety, so
13:25
it's easy to keep up with. Thank you. Thank
13:28
you for the context, I appreciate that. I
13:30
wanna get your guys' gut reaction just right.
13:32
Yes or no, is it weird? Go.
13:36
Yeah. Yeah, man. Wrong.
13:40
Trav? Can I try again? Yeah,
13:42
try again. Yeah, just a no. Yes,
13:45
still, absolutely. If you found out a
13:47
friend was doing this to you,
13:49
you wouldn't be like, huh. That's
13:52
that you chose to,
13:54
to you, doing this to
13:56
you. I think that particular
13:59
hearing you... say that might
14:01
reveal a fundamental difference with Twix do
14:04
you and I because if I find
14:06
out that like a dear friend and
14:08
this is the the thing I want
14:10
to qualify here one of my best
14:13
friends I find out Bradbury when we
14:15
hang out where's microphone underwear to like
14:17
set like to be like this is a
14:19
fun no no no finish
14:22
this it you should be the next ten
14:24
words I wanted to say set
14:26
expectations right but that's not what I meant I meant
14:29
like to set exciting friendship
14:31
mood for himself right
14:34
of like you
14:37
never put out fun socks fun how
14:39
do you feel about fun socks themed
14:41
to the friend you're hanging okay this is
14:43
actually great this will help deconstruct this question
14:45
and any sort of like taboo nature it
14:47
might possess because for me that's also pretty
14:50
fucking weird if someone's like hey look I
14:52
wore my you socks it's like I don't
14:54
need to be involved in that part of
14:56
your can I say I hear you I
14:58
really this now we're getting to it because
15:01
I think that and I'm realizing this is
15:03
I say it I think
15:05
I'm uncomfortable with people thinking about me
15:07
Wow that's
15:10
it I mean that's actually
15:12
it the idea that someone has thought about
15:14
me sure
15:20
I'm not comfortable with that it makes me okay
15:23
well I know I'm not I'm not that far
15:25
trips I don't want to set set the boundaries
15:27
here I'm not that far but I am far
15:29
enough that if somebody sees a shirt hanging in
15:31
their closet and be like Griffin would like this
15:34
I'll wear it that's weird man why is that
15:36
weird because your friend who's hanging out with you
15:38
and wants you to be happy and
15:40
they're like this will make them oh they'll like
15:42
this shirt I'm gonna get a compliment on it
15:45
from them because they'll appreciate it no okay I
15:47
see I agree with Travis here because I know
15:50
that like slice get that we both like like
15:52
patterned Disney shirts so I'll wear one of those
15:54
if I know I'm gonna be seeing slice yeah
15:58
but mm okay Maybe
16:00
we do need to, maybe I do need to
16:02
take a few. And we have like our matching
16:04
Siva code, T-shirts, you know, we'll like. Well, that's
16:06
a pre-plan, that's a pre-organized, if you're wearing a
16:09
thing because you think you're gonna match someone, I
16:11
think that's a different conversation. Okay, but now you're
16:13
matching their energy, Griffin, because you have matching socks.
16:16
But in that way, it is a conversation. It's
16:19
not like, and no, I've moved the goal
16:21
post way too far forward here, because I thought that
16:23
I was gonna have a little bit more support from
16:26
my brothers. I wanna know why I wanna back you
16:28
up on the socks though. The socks is, here's
16:30
the problem with the socks, right? I show
16:32
up in a shirt that I think my friend would like. Reacts
16:36
to this right now. Boom bang, right there, out the
16:38
door. Right there. To
16:40
get the point of socks, it's
16:42
gotta be one of two things. Huh,
16:44
and someone's got asked, huh,
16:47
interesting socks. Or the other
16:49
thing is the person would be like,
16:51
I see you noticed my socks. Both
16:53
of those are unsustainable. Suboptimal. Let
16:56
me unravel you, Justin. Now,
16:58
let's remove the idea of them ever
17:00
seeing the socks with a little thing
17:03
I call underpants, which are hidden. Now
17:05
you're just wearing it for you to
17:07
make you happy. You have extracted it
17:09
out enough now that I no longer
17:12
know how I feel. Okay, no, this
17:14
has affirmed my point. Boom, I got
17:16
him, I broke him. I've unraveled him,
17:18
psyche. This has reaffirmed my point. The
17:21
underwear and the never ever telling is
17:24
not great, because the whole time,
17:27
no, Travis, please. Please,
17:29
please, please. The whole
17:31
time you're hanging out with them, you're technically
17:33
lying. You're technically, you've got
17:36
a, you made a secret. You made
17:38
a secret. You
17:40
made a secret. You know what they don't. You
17:43
don't tell them the secret. That's a
17:45
big lie you're telling. Here's the qualifier
17:47
I will have, because I
17:50
don't want to say that universally, it's not
17:52
weird. I want to say, if this
17:55
was a friend that somehow found
17:57
out what underpants you were wearing.
18:00
and that they matched them, would
18:02
they think it was whimsical
18:04
and quirky and funny, or would they think
18:06
it was weird? Because I have friends that
18:08
if my kid says, like
18:11
99% of people is like, no way,
18:14
man. You need to work on
18:16
your friend group, my dude, because me and Bob and Bradbury, we
18:18
showed up and the three of us found out
18:21
we were wearing underpants that complimented one another in
18:23
some way. We think that was the cutest thing
18:25
in the world. That's what I'm saying, man. It's
18:27
not a trap. It's not
18:29
a hundred. It's 99% because there are
18:31
such a thing. There
18:34
are strong, supportive, contemporary
18:36
male friendships out there. That would
18:38
be definitely down with that. And
18:41
I'm so deeply jealous that you
18:43
do have that. You and
18:45
I could have that, Griffin, if you would let us.
18:47
Super wicked don't even want it, which maybe means
18:49
I'm doomed to not want it or have it ever.
18:52
It's that it's on the crotch though, isn't it?
18:55
Yeah, it doesn't bother me. It is that it's on the
18:57
crotch though, isn't it? It
18:59
would be weird to me. I was about to
19:01
say if my face is on the t-shirt, but my face
19:03
is on a lot of t-shirts right now. And I actually
19:05
love that when that happens. Again, different,
19:07
I appreciate the comparison, fundamentally
19:10
different thing. If
19:12
I found out you were wearing underwear with my
19:14
face on it, that would be
19:16
a fucking deal breaker. Unrelated,
19:19
if anyone knows where I can get custom
19:22
underwear made. Travis Lee's letting
19:24
me know. Cut and run. What
19:26
if we partnered with Bombas to
19:29
make underwear with Griffin's face on it?
19:32
I don't know where Juice just went, but I've
19:34
never been more suspended in a state of terror
19:36
by a
19:39
contributor's departure on this program than I
19:41
am right now. Hey, Juice. Seamless,
19:43
Justin. What if we partner with Bombas to make
19:45
underwear with Griffin's face on it? Where
19:48
did you go and why are you making that
19:50
fucking face, man? I was
19:52
sneaking back in because I was hoping you guys weren't
19:54
gonna talk about my absence. I needed to get my
19:56
phone because dad has the girls and well, I don't
19:58
need to finish the sentence. Oh, I- I thought, okay,
20:00
please understand from my perspective, I was like,
20:02
I sure hope no one wears under-earth my
20:05
face on it. And you were like, okay,
20:07
you chose that moment. That
20:09
must've been absolutely wild for you. And I am
20:11
so sorry. Yes, thank you so much for recognizing
20:13
that. And I'm so sorry. Yes, thank you so
20:15
much. Thanks for making space in that. Now, I
20:17
just wanna make it clear for our listeners at
20:19
home. I can joke about
20:21
and maybe execute this. None of you
20:24
can. None of you. Okay, weird,
20:26
ha, Trab. Are they friends with you, Griffin?
20:28
This is the height of parasocial relationship. If
20:30
someone showed up that you did not know
20:32
and you'd never met them before and said,
20:34
hey, you're on my underpants, let me put
20:36
it on a scale, Griffin. Are
20:39
you more comfortable with complete stranger showing up
20:41
saying, I've got your face on my underpants
20:43
than me saying it? Who, what are
20:45
you more comfortable with? This is the fucked up, you ready for this?
20:48
I'm about to fucking mind freak you, dude.
20:50
Are you ready? Yeah. Travis
20:55
comes to me, we hang
20:57
out, he leaves, later tells me,
21:01
or never tells me I was wearing Griffin underwear.
21:04
That sucks, right? A
21:07
stranger doing that to me, who gives a shit?
21:09
Like, I don't know, I'll never know about it.
21:11
I don't know who you are, but flip them. You
21:15
come to me, you say, and by the way, I'm wearing
21:18
the Griffin underwear. I would be like, but
21:20
if a stranger does that to me, that
21:23
also sucks. That's
21:25
bad. But it sucks more, it has to suck more. Sucks
21:27
way more, because if the stranger comes to me and
21:29
is like, and I'm wearing Griffin underwear, that's the worst
21:32
moment of my fucking life. Do
21:34
you understand that there's like, every context matters
21:36
in all of these kinds of situations, but
21:38
I would say the best way to sort
21:40
of avoid all of them is to not
21:42
do this thing. What
21:45
if it's a bunch of hunky, sexy, hard
21:47
bodies, they out-good do the same time, Griffin,
21:49
and they say, hey, and we're wearing them
21:51
now. No
21:53
good. No good.
21:56
What if it's some of the people you
21:58
respect most in business and policy? politics and
22:01
science, and they come to you and
22:03
they're like, hey, anytime I
22:05
work on my science stuff. Sanjay
22:07
Gupta, Bill Nye. Oh man, if
22:09
Gupta rolls up, it is like.
22:11
Mark Cuban. Mark Cuban, all your
22:13
heroes. If Cuban, if I get Cuban
22:15
and Gupta and they reveal their matching Griffin
22:18
McElroy underwear, I'm
22:21
still, I don't, I still actually,
22:24
I'll be like stoked, stoked to
22:26
meet both you equally righteous dudes.
22:30
But no thank you. Okay.
22:34
All right. To each his own, I guess. Yeah,
22:36
that's the beauty of it, isn't it? I
22:39
guess it is, Griffin. I guess it is. The
22:41
beauty of life? I
22:44
don't know, man. We've been talking about underwear for so
22:46
long. I would love another question. I'm
22:48
at a workplace book club for the summer. God, I'm
22:50
jealous of that. Why don't we do that?
22:53
I can't do a book club. As soon as I have
22:55
the expectation that I have
22:57
to like read something, it becomes homework
22:59
and I put it in. We also
23:01
read exceedingly different types of literature. Oh,
23:03
that's true. I enjoy like
23:05
mysteries and biographies and Griffin
23:08
like smut. Yeah, Griffin does love smut.
23:10
I love fairy smut. So like, Robo
23:12
smut. Historical nonfiction
23:15
smut. Historical fairy smut,
23:17
non historical robo smut,
23:21
time smut. Griffin
23:23
is now just describing the Chuck Tingle
23:25
catalog. That's
23:27
literally all the genres. I
23:31
joined because I liked the other people in the club
23:33
and because they usually get together to talk about the
23:35
book somewhere cool like a museum or zoo. My
23:38
problem is that I'm now five chapters in the book
23:40
and I hate it. How can I save
23:42
myself the mental agony so I can get to that sweet end
23:44
goal of a work day at the zoo? Or
23:46
should I just fess up and get
23:48
to the FOMO now? And no, the
23:50
book does not have a movie slash
23:52
TV slash game adaptation. That's from Bookin'
23:55
on Boss Man's Time in Florida. There
23:57
needs to be more video game adaptations.
24:00
of classic novels. There's
24:02
really not many of them. Not enough. I
24:04
would love that. They did a Christmas Carol,
24:06
Metroidvania recently, I think. Absolutely rips ass. And
24:08
I think one of the Bible too, but
24:11
I don't think a lot of people are
24:13
doing that for non-religious book clubs. We gotta
24:15
play Bible Adventures again. You can,
24:17
a lot of
24:19
the time, find this
24:22
book in a sound format that
24:24
you can make the guy go
24:26
so fucking fast. I'm
24:29
not a big audio book guy, but
24:32
then when I realized, hey,
24:34
there's some gaps in my
24:36
oeuvre that I could fill in
24:38
by going on a drive and slapping
24:40
this guy on five times speed. Yeah,
24:42
crank it out. Just fucking, fucking crumpet.
24:45
It was Miss Thomas, those were the sounds. Call
24:50
me a strummer, just. We
24:54
said Dracula's take a very, very good. Dracula's dusty.
24:59
Now I'm thinking that this is a service
25:01
we could offer of just having Justin do
25:04
10 second book synopsis
25:06
videos. That's cool. I
25:08
would love that. Two girls, farmers, one big, uh-oh, gets shot. Bam.
25:12
My submit, wait, wait, like
25:15
and subscribe. My submit, love you. Like
25:17
and subscribe. Two brothers, one of them shoots
25:19
the other, bye. Paul's
25:22
good, but he's probably banned. There's
25:24
something everywhere. That's
25:26
a dude. That's dude, yeah, I get you. Paul's
25:29
good, but he's probably bad. There's sand everywhere. He
25:31
sucks. That's the end of
25:33
Withering Heights, bye. I've
25:35
never been in a book club, but I do
25:38
record a video game podcast called The Besties
25:40
every week, where sometimes we have to play
25:42
some real fucking stinkers. Yeah, well you do.
25:46
You play them because it's your job. This
25:50
is your job. Sometimes this is your job.
25:53
Now, I mean, I would say, it's
25:56
not possible, my friends, that
25:59
if you... have fallen off a
26:01
book that you have so many reasons that you
26:03
have to, like, that you feel compelled to read
26:05
it. That someone else in the group,
26:09
this could be a, like, leaning, you know,
26:11
like, all the sticks fell over and they're
26:13
leaning, standing up against each other, where they're
26:15
waiting for one person in the book club
26:17
to be like, this book sucks! And then
26:19
everyone else is like, yes, thank you, yes,
26:21
yes, yes, yes. Whoa, okay. You
26:24
come to the group and you say,
26:26
hey, listen, I
26:29
just came up with a good idea, guys, and I
26:31
wanna see what you all think about it. They're called
26:33
skippos. Yeah. And you
26:35
take out a coaster that says skippo
26:37
on it. He said, everybody, when they
26:39
join the club, gets one skippo. And you
26:41
can earn skippos by bringing snacks or
26:44
by cleaning up afterwards or by bringing in
26:46
friends for referrals. You get a skippo when
26:48
they get a skippo. Yeah, you memorize the
26:51
Bible verse, you get a skippo. You get
26:53
skippos and there's like- 10
26:55
cans of food to donate. And then you look around,
26:57
right? You watch the group. What
26:59
you're gonna do is you're gonna
27:02
keep on promising this until everybody
27:04
is wild about skippos. You can't
27:06
stop until you see a lot
27:08
of enthusiasm nodding. If it
27:10
takes, there's tiered layers of skippos. There's
27:12
like an AR- There's gold skippos.
27:15
Yes. There's a power skippo that
27:17
override a skippo. On
27:19
the skippo, there's what's called a skippo
27:21
reverse where you can undo someone else's
27:23
skippo. And what's that? It's a draw
27:25
four. You guys have been here like-
27:27
You have to read four books this week. You get everybody
27:30
excited for it. They're like, ah, okay, we're all on board.
27:32
Me first, fuck Nathaniel Hawthorne,
27:35
peace. Yeah. I'm burning
27:37
my skippo. This is
27:39
actually a big skippo. And I also get eight
27:41
skippos because I invented skippo as a reward for-
27:44
Before I invited skippos for
27:46
months. Before we put this
27:48
platform into service, I'd like
27:50
to beta test the skippos personally myself. I'm
27:52
gonna try a skippo this week, work out
27:54
some of the bugs. I'll come back at
27:56
you next week with another skippo. Books are
27:58
so far- fucking boring
28:01
all of them every
28:03
time. Now, what if,
28:06
and this is a mechanic that we know works, we've seen
28:08
it, tribal council, anonymous
28:10
vote. Yes. Like after
28:12
the first five chapters of a book, the
28:15
next session you guys get together and
28:18
you all like put a torch in front
28:20
of the book, you go off to like
28:22
a private booth, you write down either like
28:24
this book sucks or we keep reading it.
28:26
And if there's more votes for this book
28:28
sucks, you put out the torch
28:30
and you burn the book. Yeah. I
28:33
don't actually think you would want to do that last part, but you were really
28:35
on the- Which one I really want to put out the torch? No,
28:37
no, no. Travis, I hate that. I
28:40
think, feel like Skippos is a way more elegant solution
28:42
than what you just devised. Yeah, okay. You could use
28:44
the Skippo and burn the book. That's fine. No, I
28:46
think it's the book burning that I don't like. I
28:49
mean, but if you, there is an option- And
28:51
then what you do with them, if the book
28:53
sucks, Griffin, and you hate it, you're supposed to
28:55
force that onto somebody else and you bury them
28:57
so the paper can turn back into trees. That's
28:59
a good point. That's beautiful.
29:01
I think that it would be
29:03
pretty kick-ass- I bet there's someone out there who's taking
29:05
books and turn them into like termite houses and bee
29:07
houses and shit. I think, normalize,
29:11
when you reach a point in the book, you're
29:13
reading for your book club and you don't want
29:15
to read anymore, you tear out every page that
29:17
came after that and you doodle in with a
29:19
Sharpie, and then they all
29:21
got married to the end. Yeah. And
29:24
then you roll up to book club and you'd be like,
29:26
I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about.
29:28
My book ended at chapter five
29:30
and they all got married and then
29:32
it said the end. So like
29:34
all this stuff you're saying about Jim
29:37
going to war and coming back and
29:40
being different, and then Susan was a
29:42
robot, I didn't get any of that
29:44
shit in my, apparently, abridged copy- Yeah.
29:47
Of Nathaniel Hawthorne's best book. Start sneaking
29:49
in references and summaries of things that
29:51
happened in the most recent episode of
29:54
Bridgerton you watched. Yes. And
29:56
just like as it's part of the conversation, right? And
29:58
you're like, yeah, and I love that conversation. Benedict and
30:00
Eloise. And eventually, they're gonna start
30:03
being like, what? And they're gonna
30:05
get interested in what you're talking about. What's that?
30:07
It's not a book club anymore. Now it's that
30:09
we go to the zoo once and we can
30:11
talk about Bridgerton Club, which is way better. And
30:14
so anyways. Here's the way Justin Macrow would handle
30:16
this. Cause I did a lot of
30:18
this in middle school. You go in,
30:21
you don't say fucking shit.
30:24
You let everybody else run their mouth, run
30:26
their mouth, run their mouth. And then eventually
30:28
it ends.
30:30
Or someone's like, and Justin, you've been
30:32
pretty quiet. And you're like, oh yes,
30:35
you've noticed. And then
30:37
you just recite some shit that you heard
30:39
other people say. Like I think Grant nailed
30:41
it when he said, blah, blah, blah, blah,
30:43
blah. That so echoed everything that I said.
30:46
And everybody's like, man, I really appreciate
30:48
your support, man. It's like, yeah, absolutely good. So
30:51
if you go to something like this, oh, you've noticed. Yes,
30:53
it's just as I was listening and trying to take it
30:55
all in, I saw that monkey over there.
30:58
And he stuck his finger in his butt hole. That
31:01
made me think about what Grant said earlier. What
31:03
the fuck are you, oh, at the zoo. Trav,
31:06
I forgot about the zoo element of this
31:09
question. And I thought you just had a
31:11
stroke. So
31:14
Travis, you're like, in Travis'
31:17
world of the zoo, it's
31:19
like, that's, oh, you've noticed. Actually, I was
31:21
about to say, oh shit,
31:23
Panda. Everybody look, look at this
31:25
guy go. Okay, listen,
31:27
we've been trying for a while. A
31:29
museum cafe or whatever you talk about in the book, that's fine.
31:32
You're going to a zoo where there's so
31:34
much shit going on at
31:36
any given time. Even a museum, there's stuff
31:38
to look at. But a zoo, the stuff
31:40
is moving around. It's loud, people are walking
31:42
around. And I'm supposed to focus on a
31:44
fucking book while I'm there? No way. When
31:46
I could see a hippo or whatever? What
31:48
are you talking about? The world's best book
31:51
cannot hold a candle to the
31:53
world's worst hippopotamus. This is what
31:55
I'm saying. Everybody's always saying
31:57
that, aren't they? In terms of the
31:59
value, They provide me
32:01
hippopotamus overbook every day of the
32:04
week. I could watch a penguin fucking rocking
32:06
itself through the water and you expect me
32:08
to talk about fucking withering heights? Incredible, no
32:10
way. Get off, yeah, no way. Get off
32:12
the bus, I don't wanna hear it. So
32:14
glad we continue to take horrible
32:17
positions on this show. Books, the
32:19
sequence, yeah. I feel like Snoopy
32:21
was a test balloon that we
32:23
sent up to see if it would be okay
32:25
for us to shit talk. Oh boy, I don't
32:27
even like, I don't know why I'm
32:29
doing this character. There's a lot of books, I'm reading
32:31
a book right now about books,
32:34
so like believe me. No, you
32:36
missed my point. I love books.
32:38
If you expect me to hold
32:40
a conversation thoughtfully and insightfully, talking
32:42
about my feelings on something, and
32:45
you put me in a place where
32:47
there's so much stuff going on, what
32:50
the fuck did you expect? Yeah.
32:52
Right, like we meet in a living room, we'll
32:55
chat. You wanna have like a book club
32:57
while a movie is on at a movie
32:59
theater, what are you talking about? That sounds,
33:01
I don't think anybody suggested that whatsoever,
33:03
but I'm into it. Well, it was like a
33:05
movie of life. A zoo is like
33:08
a movie of, well, not
33:10
my life. If you're watching Zootopia. I
33:12
wish. I mean. Oh man, me too. Let's
33:14
have a book club about Zootopia, I've got
33:16
feelings. Yeah. Hey listen, let's take a quick
33:18
break and then we'll come back and we'll
33:20
talk about more great, great
33:24
advice for you, our
33:27
beloved listener. Oh. It's
33:35
better, it's better with you. Hey,
33:39
let me tell you something. I'm very excited
33:41
about this. I mean this very sincerely. Oh
33:43
yeah. I am
33:46
something of a gardener, completely
33:49
amateur. But one
33:51
of the things, especially as like a
33:53
homeowner and someone who tries to not
33:56
disappoint my entire neighborhood, mulch
33:58
and stuff is so. Oh, it's
34:01
so expensive. Yeah. Oh,
34:03
doing that stuff. So heavy too. Oh, it's so
34:05
heavy, it's so expensive. Sometimes it stinks like butts.
34:08
And I gotta figure out like what of it is
34:10
like good or whatever and then I go to like
34:12
the hardware store and I have to appear
34:15
to be an adult who knows about mulch.
34:17
Yeah. I don't know that. That's why I'm
34:19
excited to tell everybody about Chip Drop, which
34:21
is a service for gardeners in Arborist. And
34:23
gardeners can sign up to get free wood
34:25
chips, get wood
34:27
chip mulch or logs delivered and
34:29
Arborist sign up to access inexpensive sites
34:31
where they can drop their wood chips and
34:33
logs. It's a perfect match. I've got wood
34:35
chips and logs. I need wood chips and
34:38
logs. Well, have we got a deal for
34:40
you because Chip Drop in Chip, Chip, Chip.
34:42
It's fun to say like, it's called Chip
34:44
Drop. And now that we've said it once
34:46
good, we can just blaze
34:48
right through them. Yeah. They
34:51
encourage people to transform their yards and communities by providing free
34:53
wood chips and information about how to use them. And
34:56
you can do so much cool stuff with wood chips. It's
34:58
not just like, you know, mulch. There's so much stuff. And
35:02
it's- Shitty dominoes. I mean,
35:04
any, like anything, man. You
35:07
gotta check it out. Whether you have a bunch
35:09
of trees you're trying to get rid of or a
35:11
bunch of weeds you're trying to get rid of or
35:13
anywhere in between, I guess. You
35:15
just, here's the way it works. People pull
35:17
up plants and trees and say, man, screw
35:20
these things. And someone else is like, wait,
35:22
don't screw those things. Or at least, yeah.
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Chop and screw them and then give me
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the remnants. It's a beautiful circle. It's a
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35:38
money. Go check it out now. Trav,
35:41
we have been so busy over here
35:43
at our house lately but we still
35:45
wanna eat real food sometimes. We can't
35:47
live in a nugget-based home.
35:49
Oh, I thought you meant like a
35:52
hook scenario where you were imagining like
35:54
bowls of different colored goop. No, just
35:56
like, you know, stuff
35:58
that tastes like. Like someone actually cared when
36:01
they prepared it and they put love into it, you
36:03
know what I mean? Factor
36:05
has made that a lot easier
36:07
to keep up with. They have
36:09
these really delicious meals that can
36:11
be ready in two minutes with no
36:13
prep. Two minutes? Yeah, two
36:15
minutes, no prep. And they got a bunch
36:17
of different ones to choose from. Okay, just
36:19
this week, roasted garlic
36:21
chicken with green beans and sour
36:24
cream and onion mashed potatoes. Yes, thank you. Cilantro
36:27
chicken with some black beans and
36:29
spicy corn. It's delicious. Yeah, I'll
36:31
take that. It's delicious, two minutes you could be eating
36:33
that. You don't have to rely on fast food or
36:35
whatever. I can't imagine those just as you describe them.
36:37
I'm imagining them. Oh, they just appeared in bowls before
36:39
me. Travis. I imagine them so good,
36:41
I'm having a food fight. Like, get
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it says right here. Wow, it's weird.
37:11
It says, yeah, their tagline is their
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meals taste bangerang. That's so weird because
37:15
it doesn't make any fucking sense. I
37:17
know. It's such a wild thing
37:19
to say. Hello, podcast recommendation service. Hello
37:22
there, young man. I'm looking for
37:24
a new podcast to listen to. Something amusing, perhaps.
37:27
Oh, what about Beef and Dairy Network? Something
37:29
surreal and satirical. Well, I would suggest
37:31
Beef and Dairy Network. Ideally, it would
37:33
be a spoof industry podcast for
37:36
the beef and dairy industries. Yes, Beef
37:38
and Dairy Network. Maybe it
37:40
would have brilliant guests such as
37:43
Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman,
37:45
and the actor Ted Danson. Beef
37:47
and Dairy Network. I don't know. I think I'm
37:49
going to stick to Joe Rogan. it
38:00
at maximumfund.org or wherever you get
38:02
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38:30
our stupid universe, you
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maximumfund.org. Would
38:54
you guys like another question? Sure. I
38:57
frequently play basketball at a public park in
38:59
Florida. The day I didn't show up, Shaq
39:01
showed up. It's pronounced Flo-Rida. It's pronounced
39:04
Flo-Rida. You
39:07
wanna try it again? I frequently
39:10
play basketball at a
39:12
public park in Flo-Rida.
39:15
The day that I didn't show up, Shaq-Q
39:18
showed- Fuck! Shaq
39:22
showed up and was taking pictures- Did
39:24
you just call his- Did you
39:26
call that man Sha-Q? Shaq
39:29
showed up and was taking- That's
39:31
what Shaq says whenever somebody's committed a crime and
39:33
he's figured it out. He's like, Sha-Q's! Sha-Q's!
39:36
Yeah, when you're in France, they call-
39:39
It's called Sha-Q. That's
39:41
when you're in line to meet him. If you're in line,
39:44
you gotta get in a Sha-Q. I
39:46
was just pronouncing it, because I just did
39:48
your Flo-Rida thing for you. I
39:51
would like to meet Shaq! How
39:54
do I make sure I don't miss Shaq
39:56
again? That's from Shaquille
39:59
O'Neal. in Gainesville. Incredibly
40:01
strong. Yeah. Shaq
40:04
is? Yeah, man, I imagine. He's a
40:06
large fan. There's additional info
40:08
that Shaq's daughter plays basketball at
40:10
the University of Florida. So this
40:12
person suspects there will be
40:14
more Shaq in the future. More Shaq
40:16
ability. I really appreciate that additional info.
40:19
More Shaq's ability. Yeah. I
40:21
don't actually know where Shaq is
40:23
based and the idea that Shaq
40:25
could appear anytime, anywhere
40:29
I am. Yeah. I
40:32
don't know if off-putting is the word
40:35
I would use. Intimidating? It
40:37
would be a constant consideration of mine,
40:39
I feel like. Here's the thing about
40:41
Shaquille and Neil that I think maybe
40:44
people don't think about enough. I've
40:46
seen him stand next to other basketball
40:49
men and he's way bigger than
40:51
them. Basketball men
40:53
are big, right? Bigger than
40:55
me. So I have to
40:57
imagine. Were I in the presence of Shaquille
40:59
and Neil, it is
41:01
the closest I would get to the
41:03
thing I've often dreamed of when having
41:05
to care for my children of having
41:07
a much larger adult that then cares
41:09
for me in turn, right? And
41:12
I think that I would instantly
41:14
feel a certain amount of safety,
41:18
paternal love for Mr. Shaq and that might
41:20
be the weirdest part of it all. Yeah.
41:23
You're my dad. They already wanna
41:26
meet Shaq, Drev. Like that settled.
41:29
You don't have to hype up meeting Shaq more.
41:31
They definitely- No, I'm saying that because I know
41:33
that about myself, I don't know that I wanna
41:35
meet Shaq. I
41:37
Googled, where's Shaq? I
41:39
don't like that you could do that. Yeah,
41:43
I mean, I don't have a feed of his, I
41:45
assume, sizable private
41:47
jet. Okay, well, I
41:50
guess I am glad that you had to do that and
41:52
you didn't have that information at your fingertips, I guess. This
41:54
is crazy. He has more than one
41:56
house. But
41:58
I noticed him. Ha ha ha. What?
42:01
What? You're telling me pro
42:03
basketball player Shaquille O'Neal has more
42:05
than one house? Famous
42:08
spokesman for a thousand things?
42:11
Basketball commentator, incredibly
42:13
well-known celebrity Shaquille O'Neal?
42:16
No, we get it. He's famous and successful, but
42:18
like, I know he's big. Why
42:21
do you...it's...you have one body, you know
42:23
what I mean? Well,
42:26
he has a lot of stuff. One's
42:28
in Dallas and one is in Vegas. He's got
42:30
all his accessories. I know you need
42:32
to keep all your accessories somewhere, but like,
42:35
Orlando, Vegas, Dallas, these cities are not
42:37
close to each other. So like, make
42:39
up your mind. Well, he's tall. He
42:41
strides Griffin. He can
42:43
move across the country at rapid speeds.
42:45
That's awesome. The thing is, watching
42:47
basketball makes him very sleepy. So he's trying
42:49
to build a house in every
42:52
place where they play basketball. So that
42:54
time, anytime he watches basketball, I'm
42:56
getting tired. Then he can just go straight home,
42:58
go to sleep. There needs to
43:01
be a series of towers
43:03
in Gainesville, Florida that
43:06
when Shaq is sighted
43:09
at this basketball court, you
43:12
light one ablaze, and
43:15
then the watchman at the next
43:17
tower sees it. And then they
43:19
can start Shaqing him wherever he
43:21
happens to go. Well, I
43:24
don't need a live update. I was imagining that
43:26
Shaq has appeared at this basketball court, and so
43:28
your buddies send up the fires of Gondor, and
43:30
then it's time to fucking get there. And I
43:32
bet it gets so exciting when you see him
43:34
sparking the spark to light, and you're like, oh,
43:36
it's heating up. And
43:38
then it sets ablaze, and like, he's
43:40
on fire! And then you know that
43:43
it's time to slam. He came
43:45
up with that. The first time Shaq dunked in the NBA, he
43:47
yelled all that shit, and that's where it all got to be.
43:49
Oh, yeah. A lot of people think it was an accident, but
43:51
it was actually a Shaq incident. I think you need
43:54
to tell... Hey, Griffin? It
43:56
was a Shaq incident. Justin, I hate it. You guys already
43:58
missed it. They were Shaqing him. with
44:01
the towers. I said they
44:03
were shacking and wherever he went. I did, I missed both
44:05
of those. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. They were buttery smooth.
44:09
I think that you need to start telling
44:11
people in your life, just
44:14
so you know. That you love them. I love
44:16
you, but. Yeah, because you never
44:19
know. Never know. When it's gonna be your last. I love
44:21
you, good point, Griffin. Griffin. Yeah, Griffin, that's beautiful. You're gonna
44:23
be. It's a weird moment to bring it up, but you're
44:25
right. Yeah, that you never know. Just let people in your
44:27
life know, I love you, but. If
44:29
I. Say it, say it, say it loud.
44:32
But. Do you know that that's Tommy's ringtone for
44:34
when his dad calls? And I love that, because
44:36
that does help you to remember to
44:38
be nice to your dad when he calls. I think I'm at a
44:40
point where I need to do that. But, I
44:43
love you so much. But, if I get a
44:45
text from my friend Dougie at
44:48
the park, that shack is
44:50
there. I'm stopping whatever
44:53
we're doing together, no matter
44:55
how critical or important it
44:57
is. I
44:59
will stop that. I will call the
45:01
fastest car service that can get to me.
45:04
And I'm going to that park to meet
45:06
shack. I'm going to that
45:08
park to meet shack. The best thing is an
45:10
emergency service text from your friend saying, shack here,
45:12
go. And then you look at your. Drop a pin.
45:15
You look at your significant other or your
45:18
surgeon and you say, stitch me
45:20
up. It's shack time.
45:22
And they'll know what that means. I
45:24
am picturing now the person
45:27
running in with the smock still
45:29
on halfway through a haircut. Like, hey,
45:31
whoa, shack's here. I was just in
45:33
the neighborhood. I was just showing up
45:35
to ball and. Cool.
45:40
Give me a minute. Let's
45:43
play, yeah, let's play some basketball, Mr. Shack.
45:45
Oh yeah, these are pajamas. Don't worry about
45:47
it. That's how I ball, son. It's a
45:49
cape, the backwards cape. I
45:52
don't have a basketball superhero. Don't
45:54
worry about it. You want
45:56
to ball with me? All right, Shack.
45:59
I didn't say that. that Shaq never
46:01
plays at the same, like
46:04
just park court twice. I
46:07
think he guarantees maybe one, I
46:09
think maybe once Shaq will show
46:11
up to your public park basketball
46:13
court and will bless
46:16
it like a new ship setting sail for
46:18
the first time and then never, he can't
46:20
come back there. It's wild
46:22
to me that he still likes playing basketball
46:25
without like just non-profess, that it's just like,
46:27
I don't know how old Mr. O'Neill is, but
46:30
he's 29 years old. He's
46:32
played so much basketball in his time that
46:35
after a while you think that like, even
46:37
if it was a thing you loved very,
46:39
very much, you played so much basketball that
46:41
eventually you'd be like, I think that's enough
46:44
basketball for one lifetime. Yeah, but it's also
46:46
very fun to play, you know? Yeah. I
46:49
guess if you were good at it and tall, I could
46:51
see where you would enjoy it. Do you guys ever shoot?
46:53
Maybe that's the difference is I'm coming up from my point
46:55
of view, where I'm of a
46:58
perhaps average height and
47:01
below average talent. Right. So
47:03
for me, basketball is a
47:05
slog, an unpleasant
47:07
experience. But I don't never think you
47:10
get truly Shaq-limated to the feeling of
47:12
dominating people like that. Right. I
47:14
mean, like I think that that's always gonna give you a thrill. I
47:17
also think if Shaq didn't like playing basketball,
47:19
he would have done something about it before now. Canceled
47:22
basketball? No. You
47:25
would put a sock to basketball? I'm taking it with me. I'm
47:27
taking it on my balls with me. I'm
47:29
not saying that Shaq hates basketball so much. He
47:31
would try to delete the sport from the public
47:33
consciousness, just that he might've cut his career a
47:35
little bit shorter because he would be like, I
47:37
actually don't. This is weird. I don't
47:40
like this this much. I don't like it.
47:42
I'd love to know what other dreams
47:44
Mr. O'Neill had. What, in an alternate
47:46
universe. Actor, did it, check. Shaq-tor,
47:48
please. Sorry,
47:51
man. I keep stepping on your guy's kick-ass
47:53
Shaq. Shaq-tor, please. It's
47:57
great. There's so many S-tier ones. It goes
47:59
so. If I say he's a
48:01
Shactor, you know exactly what I import
48:03
man to. He's a tractor. She
48:07
thinks my Shack too sexy. Now
48:11
I would like to see a Shack that dominated
48:13
other fields is all I'm saying. Has
48:16
Mr. Shack written a novel yet? There's
48:19
so much we don't know about Shack that
48:21
I'm actually growing increasingly uncomfortable talking about Shack.
48:24
Hey, can we talk about something else then? Yeah. All
48:28
right. I
48:34
want a Munch Squad.
48:36
I want
48:39
too Munch Squad. Welcome
48:43
Munch Squad podcast with them and podcast profiling the latest
48:45
in Gracie and Brand Eating. Welcome
48:49
to a quick Duncan update for
48:51
the summer. They've got
48:53
some things that are very exciting, some
48:55
things that are not very exciting. And
48:58
I'm not going to tell you about
49:00
those. I will say that there is
49:02
a hot honey kissed sandwich
49:04
that sounds really
49:06
delightful. There is a s'mores.
49:09
In which Mike's hot
49:11
honey. This is the trend now.
49:13
This is where everyone is at. Hot
49:15
honey. We love it. I like
49:17
honey. Maybe not here though. Maybe no,
49:19
but I will take it on anything. That is
49:21
the trend. We got hot honey. I'm going to
49:23
use this platform for a second to say I
49:26
love hot honey. Don't make hot ketchup. Don't
49:28
do this. I like hot ketchup.
49:30
I like hot honey snack too. We're
49:32
going to get hot honey, snack and
49:34
bacon. That's marking Duncan's first new seasoned
49:36
bacon flavor since 2019. Thank
49:39
God. I still
49:42
think snack and bacon is
49:44
one of the greatest accomplishments
49:46
that the
49:48
world has given us. You
49:51
like bacon? It's okay to snack on now. Here's something
49:53
for the road. Take it from
49:55
us over here at Donkey Doug's. You can
49:57
snack on bacon. No problem. This
50:00
is what this is the bit though that
50:02
I really want to drill down onto. This
50:06
is part of like a lineup for the summer
50:09
and then it talks about this. A
50:11
whirlwind of flavor, tornado
50:13
twist sparked energy. In
50:16
tune with Stormy Summer Blockbusters,
50:19
Duncan debuted the Tornado Twist
50:21
Sparked Energy Drink, a thrilling
50:24
taste that's worth chasing. This
50:27
new way to enjoy sparked energy blends,
50:29
berry burst with peach sunshine flavors, delivering
50:31
a refreshing burst of raspberry, strawberry, peach
50:33
and lychee flavors for a kick of
50:36
caffeine and vitamins. Country
50:38
music fans may have caught a
50:40
glimpse of the new tornado twist
50:42
in the recent music video Ain't
50:44
No Love in Oklahoma from Twisters
50:46
the album performed by Luke
50:48
Combs. Okay. I
50:51
have a quick way. Yeah, go ahead. Do you
50:53
guys see what's happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a
50:55
hand raised. Yeah. Please Travis.
50:57
So it's not in partnership
51:00
with Twisters though, right? No.
51:03
It's not as far as I can tell.
51:07
It's not. Now wait. Now
51:09
I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm
51:11
going to communicate this a little bit.
51:14
I'm going to share with you
51:16
guys the tab where I have
51:18
the, uh, the video for, for
51:20
this, this, this scene stealing appearance.
51:22
The only mention. The tornado twist. The
51:25
only mention of Twister is abstracted
51:28
out from it
51:31
appeared in a video for the thing.
51:33
Okay. Here we go. Okay. You
51:37
ready? Not going to play the music because I don't want to
51:39
get copies struck and I probably wouldn't like it though. So there's
51:41
a man in a mill of a tornado and there's
51:44
one cowboy drinking it. Oh, is that it? That's
51:47
it. Oh, okay. Okay. So
51:50
I'll tell you exactly. There's like Dunkin on the table. I'll
51:52
tell you exactly what's happened, Justin. What
51:54
has guys, if you could tell me
51:57
what's that, cause it's definitely intentional product.
52:00
Exactly what's happened. In the music video,
52:02
it is product placed. There
52:04
was a bigger brand deal
52:07
here. Okay. That
52:10
the development of this tornado
52:13
like drink was
52:15
there because there's a Dunkin' Bag clearly in
52:17
that shot, right? Yes. And
52:19
this is the Twisters album official video. So this
52:22
was in the works, right? Yes. Something
52:24
fell through. Something fell
52:26
through. Okay. And they played down.
52:28
We listen, we can't take the,
52:30
I know the deal fell through.
52:32
Okay. Everybody agrees. We can't
52:35
take the Dunkin' out of the music video. It's a
52:37
key shot. We have to have it. We
52:39
have to have it. And Dunkin's like, well, we
52:41
actually already made the shit to
52:43
make these tornado drinks and we're going to
52:45
call them tornado twists. And when you drink
52:47
it, you're going to be like, fuck that
52:49
tastes like a tornado. So we can't call
52:51
it anything else because there's no other scenario
52:54
that makes sense to me why they would
52:56
say like in tune with summer blockbusters. You
52:59
mean all, all the, we're not
53:01
going to mix you. Tornado, all
53:03
the tornadoes of a blockbusters. We're still
53:05
bringing all the tornado pictures. Could they
53:07
not refer to Twisters as the
53:10
movie that contains the
53:13
Luke Bryan song from the
53:15
Twisters soundtrack, Twisters of Twisters
53:17
soundtrack fame. It isn't the
53:19
music video for a song.
53:21
First of all, thank God that
53:24
this is still happening in the year
53:26
of our Lord 2024, that there
53:29
are still unhinged music
53:31
videos based around summer
53:33
blockbusters. Thank you. I
53:35
thought that died in the nineties. I'm thrilled. It's
53:37
wild that Dunkin would
53:40
acknowledge this. Like, I
53:42
mean, it is in the music video guys. We should
53:44
at least tell people it's in the music video, but
53:48
are so spitefully not mentioning
53:51
the movie Twisters or
53:53
legally not mentioning it. I want to be a fly
53:55
on the wall at Dunkin HQ where they're like, can
53:58
we mention that it's
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