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MBMBaM 718: Shaq-cuse!

MBMBaM 718: Shaq-cuse!

Released Monday, 1st July 2024
 1 person rated this episode
MBMBaM 718: Shaq-cuse!

MBMBaM 718: Shaq-cuse!

MBMBaM 718: Shaq-cuse!

MBMBaM 718: Shaq-cuse!

Monday, 1st July 2024
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:00

The McElroy brothers are not experts

0:03

and their advice should never be followed. Travis

0:06

insists he's a sexpert, but

0:08

if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

0:11

Also, this show isn't for kids, which

0:14

I mentioned only so the babies out there will

0:16

know how cool they are for listening. What's

0:18

up you cool baby? To

0:30

a precious friendship! I

0:33

could've never seen what was coming for

0:35

me Hangs at the

0:38

skate park, hangs by the

0:40

beach My life, it feels

0:42

like Life!

0:46

Ahh! It's

0:48

better, it's better with you My

0:51

life! Ahh! It's

0:55

better, it's better with

0:57

you This is true,

0:59

ahh! It's better, it's

1:01

better with you My

1:04

life! Ahh! It's

1:08

better with you Hello everybody

1:11

and welcome to my brother my brother me

1:13

and advice show for the modern era.

1:15

I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy I'm

1:17

your middle brother, what up Travnation? Big

1:19

dog, middleist, Travis, woof woof, I almost

1:21

forgot. McElroy I'm

1:23

not here to sow seeds of

1:26

discord amongst Travis's

1:28

constituents No, I'd hope not Griffin

1:30

if I find out that that

1:32

is happening Retrovision will

1:34

be swift. Bro, no sedition guarantee

1:37

on my part but I do

1:39

just want to say the king

1:41

is slipping no

1:44

sedition but the emperor has no

1:46

clothes so that's all. That's a

1:48

different thing though Griffin, how I

1:50

record this show from the ways

1:53

down is my thing. That's

1:55

true Say your name. I'm Griffin

1:57

McElroy, if I had my own nation I would never ever

1:59

forget about it or I would let you feel

2:01

like I had forgotten about it for even a

2:03

second. But you have to forgive me, Griffin, because

2:05

we recorded a metric ton of

2:07

podcasts, especially My Brother and My Brother and

2:10

Me last week, went on

2:12

what everyone's calling a wildly successful tour. Yeah,

2:15

sure. And Tyson's Corner and

2:17

St. Louis and Kansas

2:19

City were amazing, but

2:21

we have done a lot of My Brother

2:24

and My Brother and Me in the last week. Yeah.

2:28

That's kind of an innovator, a revolutionary,

2:30

what I've done. Yeah. Because

2:32

I don't know if we have like an hour of My

2:34

Brother and My Brother and Me in the tank, right? So

2:36

what I did, I hired a young

2:40

photojournalist to get me a bunch

2:42

of pictures of Spider-Man that

2:45

I would like to share with you now.

2:47

He took all these pictures of Spider-Man for

2:49

me. So

2:52

just to be clear, your intro is

2:55

we are too tired from doing our

2:57

show three times. We

2:59

possess some sort of adrenal gland

3:02

from which we produced the show

3:04

that perhaps due to age or

3:08

other sort of genetic factors, we

3:10

are unable to refill fast enough

3:14

to make jokes for one hour

3:17

today. So instead, we're

3:19

gonna look at together

3:21

some pictures of Spider-Man in our

3:23

largely audio-based podcast. And

3:25

it's so important, these are new,

3:27

fresh, hot pictures of Spider-Man that

3:30

this young photojournalist took for me. Okay, so these

3:32

are new pictures. These are new pictures of Spider-Man

3:34

we're gonna watch instead of doing the show we

3:36

do once an hour every week. Yeah,

3:39

so this is one. Okay, Griffin, you have

3:41

made an excellent statement and I do wanna zero in on

3:43

that. Please. The show we

3:45

make for one hour once

3:47

a week, that's the covenant, isn't it? That

3:50

is the deal that we have made with God

3:53

and our listeners. We

3:55

had to do like three of them in

3:58

a row. Yes. violation.

4:00

Yes. So, so to, to again, drill

4:03

right in on that for three of

4:05

the 168 hours present in every

4:09

week, we had to do jokes,

4:12

squish out our glands to make all the

4:14

comedy comments. It was like 80 minutes. The

4:16

idea that in a once

4:18

in a seven day span that we

4:21

would spend four out of 168 hours

4:24

making jokes for you is self, you're

4:26

selfish greedy pig. Okay.

4:28

You're all right. Let's talk about this. Griffin,

4:30

you're wasting. I just say, just, you're wasting a lot of time.

4:32

I have 350 glossy 11 by 17 pictures. I'm

4:37

making sure I understand. Yeah.

4:43

I did. I paid him $25,000. We

4:46

could just dig a little deeper. Yeah. Oh,

4:49

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just whenever you get

4:51

back to these pictures. Yeah. Definitely. I

4:54

got one with his mask off. We can see how

4:56

he is. We definitely do. I make you a deal.

4:58

You button up one button. I will

5:01

only make you wait five minutes. Okay.

5:03

Listen, I just want to

5:05

drill down. If you believe what you're saying,

5:07

Griffin, then we have to produce 52 of

5:09

these a year, right? Yeah. Then

5:12

by your logic on Jan

5:14

one, two, and a little bit of

5:16

three, we should just shit out the

5:18

whole get bootle. And then we're yacht

5:21

bound, baby, for the rest of the

5:23

year. From episode five

5:27

on of that three day

5:30

horror marathon that you have just devised

5:32

for us would be noticed

5:34

the lack of bathroom breaks. We

5:36

would have less of it would

5:38

happen during we would

5:41

be, we would be set sail

5:43

for something else to talk about.

5:45

We would be less sort of

5:47

a show created for like a

5:49

comedy consuming audience and instead a

5:54

fleet of healthcare

5:56

workers scientists will then

5:58

become sort of. our core

6:00

audience as they listen. As we go

6:03

places no other human mind

6:05

could even conceive of after making jokes for five hours

6:07

and three days. I have a picture

6:09

of Spider-Man killing a man here. Like,

6:12

you guys, I'm, I

6:14

paid top dollar. Okay. I'm

6:17

just saying how many of these, Griffin, so

6:19

we can agree that that, your

6:22

argument is somewhere between 52 in a row.

6:25

Spider-Man eating a player. And one a

6:27

week. One a week. Yeah. There's

6:31

a number of these that you think

6:33

that you could crank out where your

6:35

argument gets. Travis, this is Spider-Man. Don't

6:38

get me wrong, Juice, we're approaching the

6:40

limit. I just, and this is my

6:42

young, this is my virility shining through.

6:45

Yeah, that's that multivitamin. I'd

6:47

say that multivitamin taken, my

6:49

joke glands are swollen and

6:52

tender and ready to juice. Right.

6:56

Me too, Griffin, I'm fired up. And

6:58

Travis, the time has come. The

7:00

ramp has been built and I don't think, I've

7:03

actually called in the AP. No

7:06

one has ever seen a joke ramp

7:08

built like this before when the target

7:11

of it is so absolutely

7:13

amorphous. Microscopic, yeah. Can I tell you?

7:15

I'm looking at these, I'm looking at

7:17

these pictures for the first time. They're

7:19

all hand-drawn and crayon, if I'm being

7:21

honest. Okay. So these are

7:23

not, so when you said photojournalist, you meant like

7:26

largely a crayon based. Well,

7:29

I never looked at him. I paid him his money

7:31

upfront. I think I got taken

7:33

for a fool. Was he, could

7:35

you see through his work

7:37

clothes? What

7:40

if I just ended the sentence right there? Could

7:43

you see peeking through his work

7:45

clothes, red webbed garments? Yeah, but

7:47

I thought he was carnage. You

7:51

thought he was carnage, but you still hired him for the

7:53

job anyway. Well, if he could give me the photos I

7:56

need to finish.

7:58

Carnage, why did you do that? To finish the

8:00

newspaper? To finish the newspaper. Sure. What

8:04

if Carnage came in and J. Jonah Jameson

8:06

was like, what the fuck are these? And

8:08

Carnage was like, pictures of carnage. And he

8:10

was like, I don't want these. I

8:13

want pictures of Spider-Man. Do you think

8:15

that I'm like- But I,

8:17

but I, Carl Beegerman, don't

8:20

know Spider-Man. I only

8:22

know carnage. I'm like the

8:24

900th picture of Spider-Man that J. Jonah Jameson

8:26

received from Spider-Man. Do you think he was like,

8:28

all right, Peter, that's enough pictures of Spider-Man. Now

8:30

give me pictures of the human torch. And he

8:32

was like, I don't know how to do that.

8:35

I actually don't, that's something I could do.

8:37

Okay, wait guys, can I, whoa,

8:41

Travis. There has

8:43

definitely been a point at which Peter

8:45

Brook is like, I

8:47

can climb on walls and

8:49

I'm hard up for cash. And

8:51

I hate the human torch. I

8:54

bet he's been like paparazzi. I

8:57

bet Spider-Man, there's been a point where someone's

8:59

like, hey, Johnny, look out the window. Spider-Man's

9:01

like, ah, damn it. It wasn't

9:04

me. Spider-Man, it was

9:06

you. It was you, Spider-Man,

9:08

we saw you. My man is in Avengers Tower,

9:11

making all the Avengers uncomfortable. Just

9:13

like, yeah, we're gonna go get Thanos, get

9:15

his ass, rip his hand off. Hulk,

9:18

stay right there. Hulk look angry.

9:20

Palette, good. Peter,

9:24

bring me pictures of Thanos. Oh,

9:27

okay. Oh, fuck. Now I've got some mixed

9:29

sprayer. What about snuff picture? Here's a dead

9:31

picture of Thanos. Holy shit, Peter. How did

9:33

you get that, Parker? He was on a

9:35

different planet, I think. I was on Mars,

9:37

I was on Titan, cut his fucking head

9:40

off. I mean, Star-Lord

9:42

did. Star-Lord did. I

9:44

got a lot of questions, Parker. About talking

9:46

about the MCU. Can you guys imagine doing

9:48

a podcast just about the MCU? It's

9:51

Chris Pratt. If you get

9:53

to Chris Pratt in a conversation, it's

9:55

a comedy vortex. It's

9:57

it, there's nothing there. It's nothing. So

10:00

I was like, yeah, I don't want to talk about this. Yeah.

10:03

No, he's not the Snoopy people. He's the dirty

10:05

dog. Who's that dirty dog in Snoopy? Who's

10:08

the dirty dog in Snoopy? Who's the dirty dog in

10:10

Snoopy? Pigpen. No. Joe

10:13

Dirt. Yeah. The Pigpen. Something dirt.

10:17

Wait, Joe Dirt? Joe Cool.

10:19

There's Joe Cool. Hold on. Joe Dirt

10:21

is David Spade. You

10:24

guys can feel it, right? We had momentum,

10:26

and then we started talking about the Marvel Cinematic

10:28

Universe. And it just really fell off. And

10:30

we've already clarified that Snoopy's not funny. Right off

10:32

a cliff. Spike is his name. Fresh Us

10:34

would never. Fresh Us would never. Fresh

10:37

Us would never. Fresh Us would never. Four

10:39

hours of goofs us. We're

10:41

leaning on those Everlasting Rs with Chris Pratt. They're so big.

10:43

And I'll hold this right up. Give

10:46

me an Evans. All

10:48

day. That's my Christmas choice. Please

10:50

start reading a question. Everybody, what's

10:53

your favorite, Chris? What's

10:56

your favorite, Chris? Parnell.

11:00

Oh. God. You got it, Noir.

11:02

It's ham. Juice, I think you might have the wrong lights

11:04

on, because it seems like you're at

11:06

a library computer. There's

11:08

your beautiful baby, Griffin. Is this what you wanted?

11:11

Yeah, man. Tell me where the files

11:13

are. Where's the microfilm? Now

11:16

this is cool. What do you think about this? Ooh, I

11:18

like that. Like a dramatic light, Noir. We're going to win

11:21

an Oscar now. It

11:23

really speaks to the duality. Taylor, Taylor, Soldier,

11:26

Justin. Yeah, man.

11:28

You look fucking wild. No,

11:30

dude. Yeah, dude. No, I like this.

11:33

What? You

11:35

look crazy. It looks too sexy? What

11:37

is the problem? Yeah. I

11:39

think you look like a sexy Too Faced. Imagine

11:41

if Too Faced was having this face with sexy

11:43

and the other half was even sexier. That's

11:46

what we're looking at. Here's the problem. If I want

11:48

it flat on me, I have to stand up and

11:50

walk all the way over. I have to take the

11:52

headphones off again. Are you guys OK? Are

11:55

you guys OK that doing four

11:57

hours of jokes and standing up and talking to

11:59

me to walk around your desk. It wasn't just four hours

12:01

of jokes, the outside just sit in the green room for

12:04

like an hour and a half beforehand playing Stardew

12:06

Valley, Griffin. Playing Stardew Valley and eating Skittles. Like,

12:08

no, dude, I get it. Our

12:11

life is hard, okay? I understand that.

12:13

I mean, football players play what? Three

12:15

hours of football once a week? You

12:18

know what I mean? I think they do have to practice doing

12:20

football. We have to practice? Okay.

12:22

You guys don't practice jokes? It's

12:24

better, Juice, it's better. Okay.

12:29

I'm ready for a movie show. Bring me those pictures

12:31

of the fuck man. All right. It's

12:36

time to take another question. What's

12:39

the first question? What

12:41

do you do if you're Pagliacci

12:43

from Justin? Yeah, yeah,

12:46

sure. That was Pagliacci's issue

12:48

if memory serves, is he went to the doctor,

12:50

he's like, dude, I had to

12:52

do four fucking shows this week. And at

12:55

one point they were like, Pagliacci, walk around

12:57

this small table. And I was

12:59

like- And no one podcasts for the podcasters, you know?

13:01

Yeah, yeah. Is it weird

13:03

to wear patterned underwear based on the friend

13:06

I am hanging out with? For example, I

13:08

was about to hang out with my friend

13:10

who really likes marine biology, so

13:12

I wore my underwear with octopi

13:14

on them. Additional info, thank

13:16

you. It isn't sexual in any nature.

13:19

The friend will not see them. This is for

13:21

me a fun thing. I do this frequently, maybe

13:23

once a week. I have a wide variety, so

13:25

it's easy to keep up with. Thank you. Thank

13:28

you for the context, I appreciate that. I

13:30

wanna get your guys' gut reaction just right.

13:32

Yes or no, is it weird? Go.

13:36

Yeah. Yeah, man. Wrong.

13:40

Trav? Can I try again? Yeah,

13:42

try again. Yeah, just a no. Yes,

13:45

still, absolutely. If you found out a

13:47

friend was doing this to you,

13:49

you wouldn't be like, huh. That's

13:52

that you chose to,

13:54

to you, doing this to

13:56

you. I think that particular

13:59

hearing you... say that might

14:01

reveal a fundamental difference with Twix do

14:04

you and I because if I find

14:06

out that like a dear friend and

14:08

this is the the thing I want

14:10

to qualify here one of my best

14:13

friends I find out Bradbury when we

14:15

hang out where's microphone underwear to like

14:17

set like to be like this is a

14:19

fun no no no finish

14:22

this it you should be the next ten

14:24

words I wanted to say set

14:26

expectations right but that's not what I meant I meant

14:29

like to set exciting friendship

14:31

mood for himself right

14:34

of like you

14:37

never put out fun socks fun how

14:39

do you feel about fun socks themed

14:41

to the friend you're hanging okay this is

14:43

actually great this will help deconstruct this question

14:45

and any sort of like taboo nature it

14:47

might possess because for me that's also pretty

14:50

fucking weird if someone's like hey look I

14:52

wore my you socks it's like I don't

14:54

need to be involved in that part of

14:56

your can I say I hear you I

14:58

really this now we're getting to it because

15:01

I think that and I'm realizing this is

15:03

I say it I think

15:05

I'm uncomfortable with people thinking about me

15:07

Wow that's

15:10

it I mean that's actually

15:12

it the idea that someone has thought about

15:14

me sure

15:20

I'm not comfortable with that it makes me okay

15:23

well I know I'm not I'm not that far

15:25

trips I don't want to set set the boundaries

15:27

here I'm not that far but I am far

15:29

enough that if somebody sees a shirt hanging in

15:31

their closet and be like Griffin would like this

15:34

I'll wear it that's weird man why is that

15:36

weird because your friend who's hanging out with you

15:38

and wants you to be happy and

15:40

they're like this will make them oh they'll like

15:42

this shirt I'm gonna get a compliment on it

15:45

from them because they'll appreciate it no okay I

15:47

see I agree with Travis here because I know

15:50

that like slice get that we both like like

15:52

patterned Disney shirts so I'll wear one of those

15:54

if I know I'm gonna be seeing slice yeah

15:58

but mm okay Maybe

16:00

we do need to, maybe I do need to

16:02

take a few. And we have like our matching

16:04

Siva code, T-shirts, you know, we'll like. Well, that's

16:06

a pre-plan, that's a pre-organized, if you're wearing a

16:09

thing because you think you're gonna match someone, I

16:11

think that's a different conversation. Okay, but now you're

16:13

matching their energy, Griffin, because you have matching socks.

16:16

But in that way, it is a conversation. It's

16:19

not like, and no, I've moved the goal

16:21

post way too far forward here, because I thought that

16:23

I was gonna have a little bit more support from

16:26

my brothers. I wanna know why I wanna back you

16:28

up on the socks though. The socks is, here's

16:30

the problem with the socks, right? I show

16:32

up in a shirt that I think my friend would like. Reacts

16:36

to this right now. Boom bang, right there, out the

16:38

door. Right there. To

16:40

get the point of socks, it's

16:42

gotta be one of two things. Huh,

16:44

and someone's got asked, huh,

16:47

interesting socks. Or the other

16:49

thing is the person would be like,

16:51

I see you noticed my socks. Both

16:53

of those are unsustainable. Suboptimal. Let

16:56

me unravel you, Justin. Now,

16:58

let's remove the idea of them ever

17:00

seeing the socks with a little thing

17:03

I call underpants, which are hidden. Now

17:05

you're just wearing it for you to

17:07

make you happy. You have extracted it

17:09

out enough now that I no longer

17:12

know how I feel. Okay, no, this

17:14

has affirmed my point. Boom, I got

17:16

him, I broke him. I've unraveled him,

17:18

psyche. This has reaffirmed my point. The

17:21

underwear and the never ever telling is

17:24

not great, because the whole time,

17:27

no, Travis, please. Please,

17:29

please, please. The whole

17:31

time you're hanging out with them, you're technically

17:33

lying. You're technically, you've got

17:36

a, you made a secret. You made

17:38

a secret. You

17:40

made a secret. You know what they don't. You

17:43

don't tell them the secret. That's a

17:45

big lie you're telling. Here's the qualifier

17:47

I will have, because I

17:50

don't want to say that universally, it's not

17:52

weird. I want to say, if this

17:55

was a friend that somehow found

17:57

out what underpants you were wearing.

18:00

and that they matched them, would

18:02

they think it was whimsical

18:04

and quirky and funny, or would they think

18:06

it was weird? Because I have friends that

18:08

if my kid says, like

18:11

99% of people is like, no way,

18:14

man. You need to work on

18:16

your friend group, my dude, because me and Bob and Bradbury, we

18:18

showed up and the three of us found out

18:21

we were wearing underpants that complimented one another in

18:23

some way. We think that was the cutest thing

18:25

in the world. That's what I'm saying, man. It's

18:27

not a trap. It's not

18:29

a hundred. It's 99% because there are

18:31

such a thing. There

18:34

are strong, supportive, contemporary

18:36

male friendships out there. That would

18:38

be definitely down with that. And

18:41

I'm so deeply jealous that you

18:43

do have that. You and

18:45

I could have that, Griffin, if you would let us.

18:47

Super wicked don't even want it, which maybe means

18:49

I'm doomed to not want it or have it ever.

18:52

It's that it's on the crotch though, isn't it?

18:55

Yeah, it doesn't bother me. It is that it's on the

18:57

crotch though, isn't it? It

18:59

would be weird to me. I was about to

19:01

say if my face is on the t-shirt, but my face

19:03

is on a lot of t-shirts right now. And I actually

19:05

love that when that happens. Again, different,

19:07

I appreciate the comparison, fundamentally

19:10

different thing. If

19:12

I found out you were wearing underwear with my

19:14

face on it, that would be

19:16

a fucking deal breaker. Unrelated,

19:19

if anyone knows where I can get custom

19:22

underwear made. Travis Lee's letting

19:24

me know. Cut and run. What

19:26

if we partnered with Bombas to

19:29

make underwear with Griffin's face on it?

19:32

I don't know where Juice just went, but I've

19:34

never been more suspended in a state of terror

19:36

by a

19:39

contributor's departure on this program than I

19:41

am right now. Hey, Juice. Seamless,

19:43

Justin. What if we partner with Bombas to make

19:45

underwear with Griffin's face on it? Where

19:48

did you go and why are you making that

19:50

fucking face, man? I was

19:52

sneaking back in because I was hoping you guys weren't

19:54

gonna talk about my absence. I needed to get my

19:56

phone because dad has the girls and well, I don't

19:58

need to finish the sentence. Oh, I- I thought, okay,

20:00

please understand from my perspective, I was like,

20:02

I sure hope no one wears under-earth my

20:05

face on it. And you were like, okay,

20:07

you chose that moment. That

20:09

must've been absolutely wild for you. And I am

20:11

so sorry. Yes, thank you so much for recognizing

20:13

that. And I'm so sorry. Yes, thank you so

20:15

much. Thanks for making space in that. Now, I

20:17

just wanna make it clear for our listeners at

20:19

home. I can joke about

20:21

and maybe execute this. None of you

20:24

can. None of you. Okay, weird,

20:26

ha, Trab. Are they friends with you, Griffin?

20:28

This is the height of parasocial relationship. If

20:30

someone showed up that you did not know

20:32

and you'd never met them before and said,

20:34

hey, you're on my underpants, let me put

20:36

it on a scale, Griffin. Are

20:39

you more comfortable with complete stranger showing up

20:41

saying, I've got your face on my underpants

20:43

than me saying it? Who, what are

20:45

you more comfortable with? This is the fucked up, you ready for this?

20:48

I'm about to fucking mind freak you, dude.

20:50

Are you ready? Yeah. Travis

20:55

comes to me, we hang

20:57

out, he leaves, later tells me,

21:01

or never tells me I was wearing Griffin underwear.

21:04

That sucks, right? A

21:07

stranger doing that to me, who gives a shit?

21:09

Like, I don't know, I'll never know about it.

21:11

I don't know who you are, but flip them. You

21:15

come to me, you say, and by the way, I'm wearing

21:18

the Griffin underwear. I would be like, but

21:20

if a stranger does that to me, that

21:23

also sucks. That's

21:25

bad. But it sucks more, it has to suck more. Sucks

21:27

way more, because if the stranger comes to me and

21:29

is like, and I'm wearing Griffin underwear, that's the worst

21:32

moment of my fucking life. Do

21:34

you understand that there's like, every context matters

21:36

in all of these kinds of situations, but

21:38

I would say the best way to sort

21:40

of avoid all of them is to not

21:42

do this thing. What

21:45

if it's a bunch of hunky, sexy, hard

21:47

bodies, they out-good do the same time, Griffin,

21:49

and they say, hey, and we're wearing them

21:51

now. No

21:53

good. No good.

21:56

What if it's some of the people you

21:58

respect most in business and policy? politics and

22:01

science, and they come to you and

22:03

they're like, hey, anytime I

22:05

work on my science stuff. Sanjay

22:07

Gupta, Bill Nye. Oh man, if

22:09

Gupta rolls up, it is like.

22:11

Mark Cuban. Mark Cuban, all your

22:13

heroes. If Cuban, if I get Cuban

22:15

and Gupta and they reveal their matching Griffin

22:18

McElroy underwear, I'm

22:21

still, I don't, I still actually,

22:24

I'll be like stoked, stoked to

22:26

meet both you equally righteous dudes.

22:30

But no thank you. Okay.

22:34

All right. To each his own, I guess. Yeah,

22:36

that's the beauty of it, isn't it? I

22:39

guess it is, Griffin. I guess it is. The

22:41

beauty of life? I

22:44

don't know, man. We've been talking about underwear for so

22:46

long. I would love another question. I'm

22:48

at a workplace book club for the summer. God, I'm

22:50

jealous of that. Why don't we do that?

22:53

I can't do a book club. As soon as I have

22:55

the expectation that I have

22:57

to like read something, it becomes homework

22:59

and I put it in. We also

23:01

read exceedingly different types of literature. Oh,

23:03

that's true. I enjoy like

23:05

mysteries and biographies and Griffin

23:08

like smut. Yeah, Griffin does love smut.

23:10

I love fairy smut. So like, Robo

23:12

smut. Historical nonfiction

23:15

smut. Historical fairy smut,

23:17

non historical robo smut,

23:21

time smut. Griffin

23:23

is now just describing the Chuck Tingle

23:25

catalog. That's

23:27

literally all the genres. I

23:31

joined because I liked the other people in the club

23:33

and because they usually get together to talk about the

23:35

book somewhere cool like a museum or zoo. My

23:38

problem is that I'm now five chapters in the book

23:40

and I hate it. How can I save

23:42

myself the mental agony so I can get to that sweet end

23:44

goal of a work day at the zoo? Or

23:46

should I just fess up and get

23:48

to the FOMO now? And no, the

23:50

book does not have a movie slash

23:52

TV slash game adaptation. That's from Bookin'

23:55

on Boss Man's Time in Florida. There

23:57

needs to be more video game adaptations.

24:00

of classic novels. There's

24:02

really not many of them. Not enough. I

24:04

would love that. They did a Christmas Carol,

24:06

Metroidvania recently, I think. Absolutely rips ass. And

24:08

I think one of the Bible too, but

24:11

I don't think a lot of people are

24:13

doing that for non-religious book clubs. We gotta

24:15

play Bible Adventures again. You can,

24:17

a lot of

24:19

the time, find this

24:22

book in a sound format that

24:24

you can make the guy go

24:26

so fucking fast. I'm

24:29

not a big audio book guy, but

24:32

then when I realized, hey,

24:34

there's some gaps in my

24:36

oeuvre that I could fill in

24:38

by going on a drive and slapping

24:40

this guy on five times speed. Yeah,

24:42

crank it out. Just fucking, fucking crumpet.

24:45

It was Miss Thomas, those were the sounds. Call

24:50

me a strummer, just. We

24:54

said Dracula's take a very, very good. Dracula's dusty.

24:59

Now I'm thinking that this is a service

25:01

we could offer of just having Justin do

25:04

10 second book synopsis

25:06

videos. That's cool. I

25:08

would love that. Two girls, farmers, one big, uh-oh, gets shot. Bam.

25:12

My submit, wait, wait, like

25:15

and subscribe. My submit, love you. Like

25:17

and subscribe. Two brothers, one of them shoots

25:19

the other, bye. Paul's

25:22

good, but he's probably banned. There's

25:24

something everywhere. That's

25:26

a dude. That's dude, yeah, I get you. Paul's

25:29

good, but he's probably bad. There's sand everywhere. He

25:31

sucks. That's the end of

25:33

Withering Heights, bye. I've

25:35

never been in a book club, but I do

25:38

record a video game podcast called The Besties

25:40

every week, where sometimes we have to play

25:42

some real fucking stinkers. Yeah, well you do.

25:46

You play them because it's your job. This

25:50

is your job. Sometimes this is your job.

25:53

Now, I mean, I would say, it's

25:56

not possible, my friends, that

25:59

if you... have fallen off a

26:01

book that you have so many reasons that you

26:03

have to, like, that you feel compelled to read

26:05

it. That someone else in the group,

26:09

this could be a, like, leaning, you know,

26:11

like, all the sticks fell over and they're

26:13

leaning, standing up against each other, where they're

26:15

waiting for one person in the book club

26:17

to be like, this book sucks! And then

26:19

everyone else is like, yes, thank you, yes,

26:21

yes, yes, yes. Whoa, okay. You

26:24

come to the group and you say,

26:26

hey, listen, I

26:29

just came up with a good idea, guys, and I

26:31

wanna see what you all think about it. They're called

26:33

skippos. Yeah. And you

26:35

take out a coaster that says skippo

26:37

on it. He said, everybody, when they

26:39

join the club, gets one skippo. And you

26:41

can earn skippos by bringing snacks or

26:44

by cleaning up afterwards or by bringing in

26:46

friends for referrals. You get a skippo when

26:48

they get a skippo. Yeah, you memorize the

26:51

Bible verse, you get a skippo. You get

26:53

skippos and there's like- 10

26:55

cans of food to donate. And then you look around,

26:57

right? You watch the group. What

26:59

you're gonna do is you're gonna

27:02

keep on promising this until everybody

27:04

is wild about skippos. You can't

27:06

stop until you see a lot

27:08

of enthusiasm nodding. If it

27:10

takes, there's tiered layers of skippos. There's

27:12

like an AR- There's gold skippos.

27:15

Yes. There's a power skippo that

27:17

override a skippo. On

27:19

the skippo, there's what's called a skippo

27:21

reverse where you can undo someone else's

27:23

skippo. And what's that? It's a draw

27:25

four. You guys have been here like-

27:27

You have to read four books this week. You get everybody

27:30

excited for it. They're like, ah, okay, we're all on board.

27:32

Me first, fuck Nathaniel Hawthorne,

27:35

peace. Yeah. I'm burning

27:37

my skippo. This is

27:39

actually a big skippo. And I also get eight

27:41

skippos because I invented skippo as a reward for-

27:44

Before I invited skippos for

27:46

months. Before we put this

27:48

platform into service, I'd like

27:50

to beta test the skippos personally myself. I'm

27:52

gonna try a skippo this week, work out

27:54

some of the bugs. I'll come back at

27:56

you next week with another skippo. Books are

27:58

so far- fucking boring

28:01

all of them every

28:03

time. Now, what if,

28:06

and this is a mechanic that we know works, we've seen

28:08

it, tribal council, anonymous

28:10

vote. Yes. Like after

28:12

the first five chapters of a book, the

28:15

next session you guys get together and

28:18

you all like put a torch in front

28:20

of the book, you go off to like

28:22

a private booth, you write down either like

28:24

this book sucks or we keep reading it.

28:26

And if there's more votes for this book

28:28

sucks, you put out the torch

28:30

and you burn the book. Yeah. I

28:33

don't actually think you would want to do that last part, but you were really

28:35

on the- Which one I really want to put out the torch? No,

28:37

no, no. Travis, I hate that. I

28:40

think, feel like Skippos is a way more elegant solution

28:42

than what you just devised. Yeah, okay. You could use

28:44

the Skippo and burn the book. That's fine. No, I

28:46

think it's the book burning that I don't like. I

28:49

mean, but if you, there is an option- And

28:51

then what you do with them, if the book

28:53

sucks, Griffin, and you hate it, you're supposed to

28:55

force that onto somebody else and you bury them

28:57

so the paper can turn back into trees. That's

28:59

a good point. That's beautiful.

29:01

I think that it would be

29:03

pretty kick-ass- I bet there's someone out there who's taking

29:05

books and turn them into like termite houses and bee

29:07

houses and shit. I think, normalize,

29:11

when you reach a point in the book, you're

29:13

reading for your book club and you don't want

29:15

to read anymore, you tear out every page that

29:17

came after that and you doodle in with a

29:19

Sharpie, and then they all

29:21

got married to the end. Yeah. And

29:24

then you roll up to book club and you'd be like,

29:26

I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about.

29:28

My book ended at chapter five

29:30

and they all got married and then

29:32

it said the end. So like

29:34

all this stuff you're saying about Jim

29:37

going to war and coming back and

29:40

being different, and then Susan was a

29:42

robot, I didn't get any of that

29:44

shit in my, apparently, abridged copy- Yeah.

29:47

Of Nathaniel Hawthorne's best book. Start sneaking

29:49

in references and summaries of things that

29:51

happened in the most recent episode of

29:54

Bridgerton you watched. Yes. And

29:56

just like as it's part of the conversation, right? And

29:58

you're like, yeah, and I love that conversation. Benedict and

30:00

Eloise. And eventually, they're gonna start

30:03

being like, what? And they're gonna

30:05

get interested in what you're talking about. What's that?

30:07

It's not a book club anymore. Now it's that

30:09

we go to the zoo once and we can

30:11

talk about Bridgerton Club, which is way better. And

30:14

so anyways. Here's the way Justin Macrow would handle

30:16

this. Cause I did a lot of

30:18

this in middle school. You go in,

30:21

you don't say fucking shit.

30:24

You let everybody else run their mouth, run

30:26

their mouth, run their mouth. And then eventually

30:28

it ends.

30:30

Or someone's like, and Justin, you've been

30:32

pretty quiet. And you're like, oh yes,

30:35

you've noticed. And then

30:37

you just recite some shit that you heard

30:39

other people say. Like I think Grant nailed

30:41

it when he said, blah, blah, blah, blah,

30:43

blah. That so echoed everything that I said.

30:46

And everybody's like, man, I really appreciate

30:48

your support, man. It's like, yeah, absolutely good. So

30:51

if you go to something like this, oh, you've noticed. Yes,

30:53

it's just as I was listening and trying to take it

30:55

all in, I saw that monkey over there.

30:58

And he stuck his finger in his butt hole. That

31:01

made me think about what Grant said earlier. What

31:03

the fuck are you, oh, at the zoo. Trav,

31:06

I forgot about the zoo element of this

31:09

question. And I thought you just had a

31:11

stroke. So

31:14

Travis, you're like, in Travis'

31:17

world of the zoo, it's

31:19

like, that's, oh, you've noticed. Actually, I was

31:21

about to say, oh shit,

31:23

Panda. Everybody look, look at this

31:25

guy go. Okay, listen,

31:27

we've been trying for a while. A

31:29

museum cafe or whatever you talk about in the book, that's fine.

31:32

You're going to a zoo where there's so

31:34

much shit going on at

31:36

any given time. Even a museum, there's stuff

31:38

to look at. But a zoo, the stuff

31:40

is moving around. It's loud, people are walking

31:42

around. And I'm supposed to focus on a

31:44

fucking book while I'm there? No way. When

31:46

I could see a hippo or whatever? What

31:48

are you talking about? The world's best book

31:51

cannot hold a candle to the

31:53

world's worst hippopotamus. This is what

31:55

I'm saying. Everybody's always saying

31:57

that, aren't they? In terms of the

31:59

value, They provide me

32:01

hippopotamus overbook every day of the

32:04

week. I could watch a penguin fucking rocking

32:06

itself through the water and you expect me

32:08

to talk about fucking withering heights? Incredible, no

32:10

way. Get off, yeah, no way. Get off

32:12

the bus, I don't wanna hear it. So

32:14

glad we continue to take horrible

32:17

positions on this show. Books, the

32:19

sequence, yeah. I feel like Snoopy

32:21

was a test balloon that we

32:23

sent up to see if it would be okay

32:25

for us to shit talk. Oh boy, I don't

32:27

even like, I don't know why I'm

32:29

doing this character. There's a lot of books, I'm reading

32:31

a book right now about books,

32:34

so like believe me. No, you

32:36

missed my point. I love books.

32:38

If you expect me to hold

32:40

a conversation thoughtfully and insightfully, talking

32:42

about my feelings on something, and

32:45

you put me in a place where

32:47

there's so much stuff going on, what

32:50

the fuck did you expect? Yeah.

32:52

Right, like we meet in a living room, we'll

32:55

chat. You wanna have like a book club

32:57

while a movie is on at a movie

32:59

theater, what are you talking about? That sounds,

33:01

I don't think anybody suggested that whatsoever,

33:03

but I'm into it. Well, it was like a

33:05

movie of life. A zoo is like

33:08

a movie of, well, not

33:10

my life. If you're watching Zootopia. I

33:12

wish. I mean. Oh man, me too. Let's

33:14

have a book club about Zootopia, I've got

33:16

feelings. Yeah. Hey listen, let's take a quick

33:18

break and then we'll come back and we'll

33:20

talk about more great, great

33:24

advice for you, our

33:27

beloved listener. Oh. It's

33:35

better, it's better with you. Hey,

33:39

let me tell you something. I'm very excited

33:41

about this. I mean this very sincerely. Oh

33:43

yeah. I am

33:46

something of a gardener, completely

33:49

amateur. But one

33:51

of the things, especially as like a

33:53

homeowner and someone who tries to not

33:56

disappoint my entire neighborhood, mulch

33:58

and stuff is so. Oh, it's

34:01

so expensive. Yeah. Oh,

34:03

doing that stuff. So heavy too. Oh, it's so

34:05

heavy, it's so expensive. Sometimes it stinks like butts.

34:08

And I gotta figure out like what of it is

34:10

like good or whatever and then I go to like

34:12

the hardware store and I have to appear

34:15

to be an adult who knows about mulch.

34:17

Yeah. I don't know that. That's why I'm

34:19

excited to tell everybody about Chip Drop, which

34:21

is a service for gardeners in Arborist. And

34:23

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34:53

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34:56

you can do so much cool stuff with wood chips. It's

34:58

not just like, you know, mulch. There's so much stuff. And

35:02

it's- Shitty dominoes. I mean,

35:04

any, like anything, man. You

35:07

gotta check it out. Whether you have a bunch

35:09

of trees you're trying to get rid of or a

35:11

bunch of weeds you're trying to get rid of or

35:13

anywhere in between, I guess. You

35:15

just, here's the way it works. People pull

35:17

up plants and trees and say, man, screw

35:20

these things. And someone else is like, wait,

35:22

don't screw those things. Or at least, yeah.

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35:41

we have been so busy over here

35:43

at our house lately but we still

35:45

wanna eat real food sometimes. We can't

35:47

live in a nugget-based home.

35:49

Oh, I thought you meant like a

35:52

hook scenario where you were imagining like

35:54

bowls of different colored goop. No, just

35:56

like, you know, stuff

35:58

that tastes like. Like someone actually cared when

36:01

they prepared it and they put love into it, you

36:03

know what I mean? Factor

36:05

has made that a lot easier

36:07

to keep up with. They have

36:09

these really delicious meals that can

36:11

be ready in two minutes with no

36:13

prep. Two minutes? Yeah, two

36:15

minutes, no prep. And they got a bunch

36:17

of different ones to choose from. Okay, just

36:19

this week, roasted garlic

36:21

chicken with green beans and sour

36:24

cream and onion mashed potatoes. Yes, thank you. Cilantro

36:27

chicken with some black beans and

36:29

spicy corn. It's delicious. Yeah, I'll

36:31

take that. It's delicious, two minutes you could be eating

36:33

that. You don't have to rely on fast food or

36:35

whatever. I can't imagine those just as you describe them.

36:37

I'm imagining them. Oh, they just appeared in bowls before

36:39

me. Travis. I imagine them so good,

36:41

I'm having a food fight. Like, get

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It says, yeah, their tagline is their

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meals taste bangerang. That's so weird because

37:15

it doesn't make any fucking sense. I

37:17

know. It's such a wild thing

37:19

to say. Hello, podcast recommendation service. Hello

37:22

there, young man. I'm looking for

37:24

a new podcast to listen to. Something amusing, perhaps.

37:27

Oh, what about Beef and Dairy Network? Something

37:29

surreal and satirical. Well, I would suggest

37:31

Beef and Dairy Network. Ideally, it would

37:33

be a spoof industry podcast for

37:36

the beef and dairy industries. Yes, Beef

37:38

and Dairy Network. Maybe it

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would have brilliant guests such as

37:43

Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman,

37:45

and the actor Ted Danson. Beef

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and Dairy Network. I don't know. I think I'm

37:49

going to stick to Joe Rogan. it

38:00

at maximumfund.org or wherever you get

38:02

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38:30

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maximumfund.org. Would

38:54

you guys like another question? Sure. I

38:57

frequently play basketball at a public park in

38:59

Florida. The day I didn't show up, Shaq

39:01

showed up. It's pronounced Flo-Rida. It's pronounced

39:04

Flo-Rida. You

39:07

wanna try it again? I frequently

39:10

play basketball at a

39:12

public park in Flo-Rida.

39:15

The day that I didn't show up, Shaq-Q

39:18

showed- Fuck! Shaq

39:22

showed up and was taking pictures- Did

39:24

you just call his- Did you

39:26

call that man Sha-Q? Shaq

39:29

showed up and was taking- That's

39:31

what Shaq says whenever somebody's committed a crime and

39:33

he's figured it out. He's like, Sha-Q's! Sha-Q's!

39:36

Yeah, when you're in France, they call-

39:39

It's called Sha-Q. That's

39:41

when you're in line to meet him. If you're in line,

39:44

you gotta get in a Sha-Q. I

39:46

was just pronouncing it, because I just did

39:48

your Flo-Rida thing for you. I

39:51

would like to meet Shaq! How

39:54

do I make sure I don't miss Shaq

39:56

again? That's from Shaquille

39:59

O'Neal. in Gainesville. Incredibly

40:01

strong. Yeah. Shaq

40:04

is? Yeah, man, I imagine. He's a

40:06

large fan. There's additional info

40:08

that Shaq's daughter plays basketball at

40:10

the University of Florida. So this

40:12

person suspects there will be

40:14

more Shaq in the future. More Shaq

40:16

ability. I really appreciate that additional info.

40:19

More Shaq's ability. Yeah. I

40:21

don't actually know where Shaq is

40:23

based and the idea that Shaq

40:25

could appear anytime, anywhere

40:29

I am. Yeah. I

40:32

don't know if off-putting is the word

40:35

I would use. Intimidating? It

40:37

would be a constant consideration of mine,

40:39

I feel like. Here's the thing about

40:41

Shaquille and Neil that I think maybe

40:44

people don't think about enough. I've

40:46

seen him stand next to other basketball

40:49

men and he's way bigger than

40:51

them. Basketball men

40:53

are big, right? Bigger than

40:55

me. So I have to

40:57

imagine. Were I in the presence of Shaquille

40:59

and Neil, it is

41:01

the closest I would get to the

41:03

thing I've often dreamed of when having

41:05

to care for my children of having

41:07

a much larger adult that then cares

41:09

for me in turn, right? And

41:12

I think that I would instantly

41:14

feel a certain amount of safety,

41:18

paternal love for Mr. Shaq and that might

41:20

be the weirdest part of it all. Yeah.

41:23

You're my dad. They already wanna

41:26

meet Shaq, Drev. Like that settled.

41:29

You don't have to hype up meeting Shaq more.

41:31

They definitely- No, I'm saying that because I know

41:33

that about myself, I don't know that I wanna

41:35

meet Shaq. I

41:37

Googled, where's Shaq? I

41:39

don't like that you could do that. Yeah,

41:43

I mean, I don't have a feed of his, I

41:45

assume, sizable private

41:47

jet. Okay, well, I

41:50

guess I am glad that you had to do that and

41:52

you didn't have that information at your fingertips, I guess. This

41:54

is crazy. He has more than one

41:56

house. But

41:58

I noticed him. Ha ha ha. What?

42:01

What? You're telling me pro

42:03

basketball player Shaquille O'Neal has more

42:05

than one house? Famous

42:08

spokesman for a thousand things?

42:11

Basketball commentator, incredibly

42:13

well-known celebrity Shaquille O'Neal?

42:16

No, we get it. He's famous and successful, but

42:18

like, I know he's big. Why

42:21

do you...it's...you have one body, you know

42:23

what I mean? Well,

42:26

he has a lot of stuff. One's

42:28

in Dallas and one is in Vegas. He's got

42:30

all his accessories. I know you need

42:32

to keep all your accessories somewhere, but like,

42:35

Orlando, Vegas, Dallas, these cities are not

42:37

close to each other. So like, make

42:39

up your mind. Well, he's tall. He

42:41

strides Griffin. He can

42:43

move across the country at rapid speeds.

42:45

That's awesome. The thing is, watching

42:47

basketball makes him very sleepy. So he's trying

42:49

to build a house in every

42:52

place where they play basketball. So that

42:54

time, anytime he watches basketball, I'm

42:56

getting tired. Then he can just go straight home,

42:58

go to sleep. There needs to

43:01

be a series of towers

43:03

in Gainesville, Florida that

43:06

when Shaq is sighted

43:09

at this basketball court, you

43:12

light one ablaze, and

43:15

then the watchman at the next

43:17

tower sees it. And then they

43:19

can start Shaqing him wherever he

43:21

happens to go. Well, I

43:24

don't need a live update. I was imagining that

43:26

Shaq has appeared at this basketball court, and so

43:28

your buddies send up the fires of Gondor, and

43:30

then it's time to fucking get there. And I

43:32

bet it gets so exciting when you see him

43:34

sparking the spark to light, and you're like, oh,

43:36

it's heating up. And

43:38

then it sets ablaze, and like, he's

43:40

on fire! And then you know that

43:43

it's time to slam. He came

43:45

up with that. The first time Shaq dunked in the NBA, he

43:47

yelled all that shit, and that's where it all got to be.

43:49

Oh, yeah. A lot of people think it was an accident, but

43:51

it was actually a Shaq incident. I think you need

43:54

to tell... Hey, Griffin? It

43:56

was a Shaq incident. Justin, I hate it. You guys already

43:58

missed it. They were Shaqing him. with

44:01

the towers. I said they

44:03

were shacking and wherever he went. I did, I missed both

44:05

of those. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. They were buttery smooth.

44:09

I think that you need to start telling

44:11

people in your life, just

44:14

so you know. That you love them. I love

44:16

you, but. Yeah, because you never

44:19

know. Never know. When it's gonna be your last. I love

44:21

you, good point, Griffin. Griffin. Yeah, Griffin, that's beautiful. You're gonna

44:23

be. It's a weird moment to bring it up, but you're

44:25

right. Yeah, that you never know. Just let people in your

44:27

life know, I love you, but. If

44:29

I. Say it, say it, say it loud.

44:32

But. Do you know that that's Tommy's ringtone for

44:34

when his dad calls? And I love that, because

44:36

that does help you to remember to

44:38

be nice to your dad when he calls. I think I'm at a

44:40

point where I need to do that. But, I

44:43

love you so much. But, if I get a

44:45

text from my friend Dougie at

44:48

the park, that shack is

44:50

there. I'm stopping whatever

44:53

we're doing together, no matter

44:55

how critical or important it

44:57

is. I

44:59

will stop that. I will call the

45:01

fastest car service that can get to me.

45:04

And I'm going to that park to meet

45:06

shack. I'm going to that

45:08

park to meet shack. The best thing is an

45:10

emergency service text from your friend saying, shack here,

45:12

go. And then you look at your. Drop a pin.

45:15

You look at your significant other or your

45:18

surgeon and you say, stitch me

45:20

up. It's shack time.

45:22

And they'll know what that means. I

45:24

am picturing now the person

45:27

running in with the smock still

45:29

on halfway through a haircut. Like, hey,

45:31

whoa, shack's here. I was just in

45:33

the neighborhood. I was just showing up

45:35

to ball and. Cool.

45:40

Give me a minute. Let's

45:43

play, yeah, let's play some basketball, Mr. Shack.

45:45

Oh yeah, these are pajamas. Don't worry about

45:47

it. That's how I ball, son. It's a

45:49

cape, the backwards cape. I

45:52

don't have a basketball superhero. Don't

45:54

worry about it. You want

45:56

to ball with me? All right, Shack.

45:59

I didn't say that. that Shaq never

46:01

plays at the same, like

46:04

just park court twice. I

46:07

think he guarantees maybe one, I

46:09

think maybe once Shaq will show

46:11

up to your public park basketball

46:13

court and will bless

46:16

it like a new ship setting sail for

46:18

the first time and then never, he can't

46:20

come back there. It's wild

46:22

to me that he still likes playing basketball

46:25

without like just non-profess, that it's just like,

46:27

I don't know how old Mr. O'Neill is, but

46:30

he's 29 years old. He's

46:32

played so much basketball in his time that

46:35

after a while you think that like, even

46:37

if it was a thing you loved very,

46:39

very much, you played so much basketball that

46:41

eventually you'd be like, I think that's enough

46:44

basketball for one lifetime. Yeah, but it's also

46:46

very fun to play, you know? Yeah. I

46:49

guess if you were good at it and tall, I could

46:51

see where you would enjoy it. Do you guys ever shoot?

46:53

Maybe that's the difference is I'm coming up from my point

46:55

of view, where I'm of a

46:58

perhaps average height and

47:01

below average talent. Right. So

47:03

for me, basketball is a

47:05

slog, an unpleasant

47:07

experience. But I don't never think you

47:10

get truly Shaq-limated to the feeling of

47:12

dominating people like that. Right. I

47:14

mean, like I think that that's always gonna give you a thrill. I

47:17

also think if Shaq didn't like playing basketball,

47:19

he would have done something about it before now. Canceled

47:22

basketball? No. You

47:25

would put a sock to basketball? I'm taking it with me. I'm

47:27

taking it on my balls with me. I'm

47:29

not saying that Shaq hates basketball so much. He

47:31

would try to delete the sport from the public

47:33

consciousness, just that he might've cut his career a

47:35

little bit shorter because he would be like, I

47:37

actually don't. This is weird. I don't

47:40

like this this much. I don't like it.

47:42

I'd love to know what other dreams

47:44

Mr. O'Neill had. What, in an alternate

47:46

universe. Actor, did it, check. Shaq-tor,

47:48

please. Sorry,

47:51

man. I keep stepping on your guy's kick-ass

47:53

Shaq. Shaq-tor, please. It's

47:57

great. There's so many S-tier ones. It goes

47:59

so. If I say he's a

48:01

Shactor, you know exactly what I import

48:03

man to. He's a tractor. She

48:07

thinks my Shack too sexy. Now

48:11

I would like to see a Shack that dominated

48:13

other fields is all I'm saying. Has

48:16

Mr. Shack written a novel yet? There's

48:19

so much we don't know about Shack that

48:21

I'm actually growing increasingly uncomfortable talking about Shack.

48:24

Hey, can we talk about something else then? Yeah. All

48:28

right. I

48:34

want a Munch Squad.

48:36

I want

48:39

too Munch Squad. Welcome

48:43

Munch Squad podcast with them and podcast profiling the latest

48:45

in Gracie and Brand Eating. Welcome

48:49

to a quick Duncan update for

48:51

the summer. They've got

48:53

some things that are very exciting, some

48:55

things that are not very exciting. And

48:58

I'm not going to tell you about

49:00

those. I will say that there is

49:02

a hot honey kissed sandwich

49:04

that sounds really

49:06

delightful. There is a s'mores.

49:09

In which Mike's hot

49:11

honey. This is the trend now.

49:13

This is where everyone is at. Hot

49:15

honey. We love it. I like

49:17

honey. Maybe not here though. Maybe no,

49:19

but I will take it on anything. That is

49:21

the trend. We got hot honey. I'm going to

49:23

use this platform for a second to say I

49:26

love hot honey. Don't make hot ketchup. Don't

49:28

do this. I like hot ketchup.

49:30

I like hot honey snack too. We're

49:32

going to get hot honey, snack and

49:34

bacon. That's marking Duncan's first new seasoned

49:36

bacon flavor since 2019. Thank

49:39

God. I still

49:42

think snack and bacon is

49:44

one of the greatest accomplishments

49:46

that the

49:48

world has given us. You

49:51

like bacon? It's okay to snack on now. Here's something

49:53

for the road. Take it from

49:55

us over here at Donkey Doug's. You can

49:57

snack on bacon. No problem. This

50:00

is what this is the bit though that

50:02

I really want to drill down onto. This

50:06

is part of like a lineup for the summer

50:09

and then it talks about this. A

50:11

whirlwind of flavor, tornado

50:13

twist sparked energy. In

50:16

tune with Stormy Summer Blockbusters,

50:19

Duncan debuted the Tornado Twist

50:21

Sparked Energy Drink, a thrilling

50:24

taste that's worth chasing. This

50:27

new way to enjoy sparked energy blends,

50:29

berry burst with peach sunshine flavors, delivering

50:31

a refreshing burst of raspberry, strawberry, peach

50:33

and lychee flavors for a kick of

50:36

caffeine and vitamins. Country

50:38

music fans may have caught a

50:40

glimpse of the new tornado twist

50:42

in the recent music video Ain't

50:44

No Love in Oklahoma from Twisters

50:46

the album performed by Luke

50:48

Combs. Okay. I

50:51

have a quick way. Yeah, go ahead. Do you

50:53

guys see what's happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a

50:55

hand raised. Yeah. Please Travis.

50:57

So it's not in partnership

51:00

with Twisters though, right? No.

51:03

It's not as far as I can tell.

51:07

It's not. Now wait. Now

51:09

I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm

51:11

going to communicate this a little bit.

51:14

I'm going to share with you

51:16

guys the tab where I have

51:18

the, uh, the video for, for

51:20

this, this, this scene stealing appearance.

51:22

The only mention. The tornado twist. The

51:25

only mention of Twister is abstracted

51:28

out from it

51:31

appeared in a video for the thing.

51:33

Okay. Here we go. Okay. You

51:37

ready? Not going to play the music because I don't want to

51:39

get copies struck and I probably wouldn't like it though. So there's

51:41

a man in a mill of a tornado and there's

51:44

one cowboy drinking it. Oh, is that it? That's

51:47

it. Oh, okay. Okay. So

51:50

I'll tell you exactly. There's like Dunkin on the table. I'll

51:52

tell you exactly what's happened, Justin. What

51:54

has guys, if you could tell me

51:57

what's that, cause it's definitely intentional product.

52:00

Exactly what's happened. In the music video,

52:02

it is product placed. There

52:04

was a bigger brand deal

52:07

here. Okay. That

52:10

the development of this tornado

52:13

like drink was

52:15

there because there's a Dunkin' Bag clearly in

52:17

that shot, right? Yes. And

52:19

this is the Twisters album official video. So this

52:22

was in the works, right? Yes. Something

52:24

fell through. Something fell

52:26

through. Okay. And they played down.

52:28

We listen, we can't take the,

52:30

I know the deal fell through.

52:32

Okay. Everybody agrees. We can't

52:35

take the Dunkin' out of the music video. It's a

52:37

key shot. We have to have it. We

52:39

have to have it. And Dunkin's like, well, we

52:41

actually already made the shit to

52:43

make these tornado drinks and we're going to

52:45

call them tornado twists. And when you drink

52:47

it, you're going to be like, fuck that

52:49

tastes like a tornado. So we can't call

52:51

it anything else because there's no other scenario

52:54

that makes sense to me why they would

52:56

say like in tune with summer blockbusters. You

52:59

mean all, all the, we're not

53:01

going to mix you. Tornado, all

53:03

the tornadoes of a blockbusters. We're still

53:05

bringing all the tornado pictures. Could they

53:07

not refer to Twisters as the

53:10

movie that contains the

53:13

Luke Bryan song from the

53:15

Twisters soundtrack, Twisters of Twisters

53:17

soundtrack fame. It isn't the

53:19

music video for a song.

53:21

First of all, thank God that

53:24

this is still happening in the year

53:26

of our Lord 2024, that there

53:29

are still unhinged music

53:31

videos based around summer

53:33

blockbusters. Thank you. I

53:35

thought that died in the nineties. I'm thrilled. It's

53:37

wild that Dunkin would

53:40

acknowledge this. Like, I

53:42

mean, it is in the music video guys. We should

53:44

at least tell people it's in the music video, but

53:48

are so spitefully not mentioning

53:51

the movie Twisters or

53:53

legally not mentioning it. I want to be a fly

53:55

on the wall at Dunkin HQ where they're like, can

53:58

we mention that it's

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