0:00

Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Kermit here from NowDude. Just real quick, episode 164 is going to be two parts.

0:06

Went two hours long, so breaking it up. We had a bunch of laughs with JP,

0:10

so this is going to be part one. And then the following week will be part two, so make sure you guys come on

0:15

back and have some more laughs with us. As always, thanks for the support,

0:18

and talk to you later. Peace. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to episode 164 of Nah, Dude. Nah, Dude.

0:32

I didn't know this was going to be so distracting. What does this mean?

0:36

I don't know what this means. I found it funny. I found it funny, this whole director. What episode is this? 164.

0:43

164. 164. We got back in the studio, JP. Yeah.

0:48

I don't really know these bums. Not learning these bums' names still.

0:53

Came with merch? Came with merch. Make sure you check out the merch at,

0:58

what's your website, JP? It's called idonthaveone.com. He doesn't have it. It's Instagram.

1:05

It's Instagram. Yeah, hit me up on Instagram. What website? The website. I'm like,

1:11

Sam. Hey, if you see him at public shopping, just ask him for a shirt.

1:15

He got them at the trunk of the car. what's your what's your po box you have

1:18

a few i'm selling the shit out the trunk of my car like master p did with his albums.

1:26

Albums and beepers did he sell out of it back no he really did no shit yeah

1:32

that's funny the drawing on the back is awesome yeah dude yeah who do you know

1:36

that did that his name is daft duff art on IG.

1:41

DAFF art? Yeah. D-A-F-F.

1:44

Looks like a Street Fighter fucking character. It looks like a secret character

1:48

on Street Fighter. Dude, and that's... The inspiration behind that...

1:52

One, I like having the belt, a picture of me with the belt, but...

1:55

I see our logo didn't make it to the pants.

1:58

You really analyzed just to say that?

2:03

I see some X, whatever this is. Fusion XL. Oh, that's made it? Okay, Fusion XL.

2:11

He's like oh the gym that you train at that helps you for the fight i guess

2:15

they get a pass i guess so i guess he's gonna be like you know what i don't

2:22

really like the shirt that was a cool picture thank you nice dope dude but team gohan and uh zoro,

2:31

a little bit of that vibe was what i was going for zoro oh one piece one piece

2:37

okay with the The exclamations and all that in the back.

2:41

The cymbals. The ooooh!

2:44

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom,

2:47

doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. You know that stuff. Yeah, you know. Yeah, you know. Oh, you know that stuff. Depending on what you

2:53

answer with. The whole community might come down on you.

2:58

You said Zorro and I was like, hi-ho silver! Away!

3:03

With a tonto? Yeah. Tonto? Tonto? Tonto. Tonto. I was going to say,

3:08

Tonto, isn't that an idiot? Yeah. That's the part that was bugging out when they, in Puerto Rico,

3:15

it's like, oh, it's, what is it? Hiale Silver and his- Trustee Steed, I guess. His guy, Tonto.

3:21

Oh. And they're like, dummy? They calling him dummy?

3:25

Like, come here, dummy. Tonto. Tonto. Did you ever see the Johnny Depp version, the Disney one?

3:32

It's the most racist thing. Wait, so is it a bad watch? It's like, he went, okay, give me your impression of an Indian guy.

3:46

Which one are we talking about? Go ahead, do it. IT, IT or that?

3:50

The first one that was popped into that brain cell.

3:53

Give me that one, go. How?

3:57

That's the Indian? I don't wanna go too deep. You're not gonna get canceled.

4:01

You can edit this shit out, do it. Indian guy that's that's the first thing that well based off

4:08

zero but you're talking about you're talking about the snake come down so you

4:14

see how that stereotypical kind of thing was that way you really went far with

4:18

that that was johnny depp's version of of tanto wait no what What? Yeah, dude.

4:26

Was the snake charmer Indian? No.

4:30

What? No, the how stereotypical he went. Oh, like just on a spectrum. On a scale.

4:37

Give me an Irish guy, Kermit. Go.

4:42

That's what Johnny Depp did. Oh, for the role.

4:46

Yeah, it was kind of like... They said he was acting like Jack Sparrow.

4:52

That's not true? no i think you you you just saw pirates of the caribbean,

5:00

this cowboy movie sucks zero looks like he's got a squid head we're the horses all i see is boats,

5:11

What the hell was the name of that movie? What are you talking about?

5:14

That cowboy movie with Johnny Depp. Wasn't it? It's not Zorro? It's not Zorro. Oh.

5:21

I thought it was Zorro. I thought it was Zorro with Antonio Banderas.

5:24

Yeah, Zorro. Thank you. Thank you.

5:26

How the fuck does he know and you don't? I haven't seen the movie,

5:31

so clearly I don't know. You don't know who fucking Zorro is?

5:33

No, but not the Johnny Depp one. I thought the Johnny Depp movie was Zorro.

5:37

No. So what was that movie with him? It was him and a cowboy guy.

5:45

I don't even know what I'm looking for. Lone Ranger. That's what it was.

5:50

The Lone Ranger and his trusty sidekick. Okay.

5:54

All right. I didn't know. My bad.

5:57

Oh, yeah. The Lone Ranger. I can't get over it. It's like the sunglasses that

6:01

you're wearing right now. I just feel like. There's so little.

6:04

No, it's like I'm getting cop vibes. oh

6:07

yeah you know how fast

6:10

you were going license registration just like that you're gonna we're gonna

6:15

walk up all slow i'm sorry i'm wearing the sunglasses like my eyes eyes are

6:19

scarier look at today i don't feel good why what's what what happened i just

6:24

don't feel good why it's also is it dark in here it's always like this all right you're all right danny.

6:31

Tired something's wrong what's your week what's your been like no something's

6:35

wrong dude my My fucking sleep apnea is getting a little out of control. Oh, that's right.

6:41

And I'm not sleeping well anymore. I got something fucked up.

6:45

You're not using your mouthpiece? I am. Did you eat it? No, it's just not working. Oh, okay. It's just not working.

6:52

Was that the mouthpiece? Yeah, there's like a mouthpiece that you put in.

6:56

It brings your bottom jaw forward so you can breathe better at night.

6:58

In case he catches hands at night. And I don't know. Something changed. So you sleep like this?

7:04

I mean it's not that exaggerated it's subtle or something yeah.

7:19

Long bottomed diving boat. I'm going to get my good day. yeah i wouldn't be able to sleep like that my bad no actually it's not that bad you get used to

7:26

it but it's just now it's not working so,

7:29

you know you're gonna stuff it stuff it in your mouth and it

7:31

doesn't even it doesn't even do the thing it's supposed to do i'm

7:34

not sleeping anymore oh wait no daddy

7:39

no daddy how long have you had that mouthpiece like

7:42

a year so you don't think it's maybe worn out i

7:45

don't know i'm not a fucking sleep apnea

7:49

mouthpiece so you need the machine i think you would though you need

7:52

the machine i don't know you need that fucking that top gun mask i do i want

7:57

to do that why you need the bane stuff why don't i why don't i want to you don't

8:02

want to live well yeah i'd rather than just fucking go in with some sort of

8:07

sewer you know like a fucking sewer snake and.

8:11

Like open the tubes up and make it work dude you know what i mean you don't

8:15

go to the doctor though i just went i just went on friday oh so are you making

8:19

a lot of assumptions and saying a lot of things listen this is making me want

8:23

to put my glasses back on based off your history arrest his ass arrest his ass,

8:28

be like sir I need to see your papers might hit you with a fucking billy club

8:31

JP for the longest time this dude had a nail an actual nail

8:36

stuck on his foot never went and checked it out pa pa pa pa somehow it started

8:42

bothering him he thought it was a callus when the doctor finally pried it out

8:47

and be like yo you've had a fucking nail like the lion had the fucking nail in the thorn yeah.

8:55

So so if you get mad at us i mean

8:58

until it hurt what's the i mean you know what i mean until it

9:01

hurt like i hurt like ow you have a foreign object

9:04

in your body just like it was in the ball of my foot too

9:07

like right at the big toe joint and it was fine i mean not fine but it was tolerable

9:12

until it wasn't and how long was that i don't know like a year couple months

9:17

no it wasn't a couple years it was it was close couple couple over six months

9:21

over six two to six months exactly

9:25

like a nail that you yeah yeah it was like

9:27

a piece of so when you say don't get don't get

9:30

when you get mad at me when i say you don't go to the doctor it's

9:33

true no i go though i went all right what did he say what did he say which one

9:38

then are we talking about the foot nail doctor i gotta go do a fucking sleep

9:44

study at the end at the place though not the one where they strap the shit to

9:48

your head and check how many times you die i gotta take your pajamas have fucking witnesses. Yeah.

9:53

That's not going to happen. I got to go ahead and witness those things where

9:55

you're like, I just don't feel like dealing with this. Yeah, dude. Fucking sounds like, because here's why.

10:00

I'm afraid that it's a waste of fucking time.

10:04

They're going to fucking study you in your pajamas and your tent hair and your

10:07

little hat that you wear instead of bed. They're going to all be giggling at the little tent I pitch in my sleep.

10:13

Can I get a glass of milk, please? That's what it's going to be.

10:15

Listen to this fucking fat asshole die 40 times a night.

10:20

They're laughing yeah with half a boner for no reason you're making a mixtape

10:24

off your beat fuck you guys they're like hey let's draw on his face.

10:31

So yeah that's I gotta go do that probably sleep in an awful bed you know what

10:35

I mean maybe it's the most comfortable bed I was gonna say whatever luxury what is it a coffin.

10:44

It's a coffin just in case just leave you there so much for the study oh he

10:51

got a nice cough it's like hey go check his wallet real quick,

10:56

so yeah so i gotta get that handled because uh it's a

10:58

problem yeah dude i'm not feeling good anymore you know

11:02

what i mean because with like for a while after i started using

11:04

that mouthpiece i was getting good sleep and started feeling better

11:07

yeah and uh so you probably have you noticed

11:11

that like your whole health has

11:14

fucking start to slowly decline since

11:17

you stopped smoking i know dude i honestly i've fucking i've gotten i've gotten

11:22

fatter feeling worse yeah i never got covid till i quit smoking and i got it

11:26

fucking four times in a year and the nicotine was a steroid bro i'm telling

11:31

you i'm telling you man it's like never fight him if he's smoking a cigarette.

11:38

It's like that that that guest that gsp brought in the drunk oh yeah hey don't

11:47

fight him if he's drinking yeah he would be the type that's like he's gonna

11:51

burn it on himself lick it let's go,

11:56

yeah dude i'm fucked up now i quit smoking and everything's gotten worse,

12:01

but you also didn't like find something to well no you still drink your monsters,

12:06

so that's no you say he he didn't find some other hobby that well i was thinking

12:10

the monsters were part of the cigarette cigarettes okay i left my nicotine pouches

12:14

in the truck oh you're a monster,

12:18

yeah damn oh he loves it

12:23

it's like we should be sponsored good job captain he

12:26

loves as

12:30

soon as i saw it i felt like he's like dumbass i'm not as as brand loyal to

12:35

them as i used to be because i like i do like the bangs and i'd like the celsius

12:39

too but i still you know old faithful yeah dude the bangs are worse aren't they

12:44

as far as What does that mean, worse?

12:47

I don't know what any of it means anymore. What do you mean?

12:51

Worse than what? You use this to clear fucking battery.

12:58

I don't know. Nothing's good anymore. I just need sleep.

13:02

Don't ask me if things are better or worse because it's all worse right now. Everything's worse.

13:08

Fucking just stay over there in your little happy land. Take it two hours.

13:12

Somehow you have two hours to smoke fucking hot dogs on the grill.

13:15

But you can't start a podcast on time on Sundays anymore.

13:18

Just do something. Go ahead. Change the subject. Fuck it, dickhead.

13:23

How's your health, Gary? How's your bill of health?

13:28

You sleeping good? I sleep amazing. That's great. That's good news.

13:33

I'm like one of those people that's like, my head hits the pillow and I'm out.

13:37

Oh, really? Twitching, yeah. Good sleep.

13:39

I'm dreaming, lucid dreaming, everything. Oh, damn. Wake up, get out of bed. It's like I wake up and I'm like, oh, damn.

13:47

Danny wakes up and he's like, fuck. Oh, every day. Yeah, every day.

13:51

Man. The grunt is like. You know what? That's the type of sleep I want.

13:55

The sleep that you just woke up and you're like, ah, I'm ready to take on the

13:59

day. I wish. I wake up and I'm like, fuck.

14:02

Yeah. Oh. These dudes.

14:06

Hey, what's the, you mentioned lucid dreams. What is the last dream you remember having?

14:11

Because I had one last night that I, you know, sometimes they're so dumb you laugh at them.

14:16

Okay. I want to hear what your guys' recent dreams were. Like,

14:19

what's one that you remember? The most recent one I remember, and it was scary as fuck.

14:25

Uh somehow is that my old job and my boss decided to sit next to me to see how i talk to customers,

14:36

and as i turned the computer on fucking porn

14:40

ads started popping up on the on the

14:43

company computer and i'm

14:46

like you know how you try to hit x on it it wouldn't fucking

14:49

clear the thing and i woke up i'm like oh why are you watching porn alone at

14:54

work at work but mom no i was cleaning the virus i was cleaning the virus and

15:03

my pants fell down but the virus is gone.

15:08

What about you do you remember dreaming i always dream on

15:11

friday nights and i think that's because we share so

15:14

much like reels i look at

15:17

all the reels before going to sleep plus my friday

15:20

finds and all that's in my head is like like people get hit by cars

15:23

and trees and shark attacks oh

15:27

i love it alligator time he loves it and then

15:30

complains about it i don't know why my

15:34

feed is about like a man getting hit by

15:37

a tour bus he'll share a person getting decapitated

15:41

by like a garbage truck and then be he'll share it

15:44

and then be like i don't know why facebook bought you know

15:47

paying my account for six days i didn't make the content it's

15:50

out there it has over a million likes yeah so i'm

15:53

just he's a drug dealer sharing it yeah he's a

15:56

drug dealer that gets busted why am i getting the rest

15:58

of the ones buying it i'm just selling it i didn't

16:02

bring it in they gave it to me they gave it to me so i

16:05

just sold it yeah so don't come after me go after

16:07

the source it's right there they have over a

16:11

million but the source continues to do it yeah because you're

16:14

you're feeding in oh yeah of course i love it do you

16:18

remember a dream you had recently not not a lucid

16:21

dream but i remember i had a dream where i was kind of like it was like a mixture

16:25

of a elden ring and physical 100 squid games okay like i was in like a medieval

16:33

fantasy type world doing stupid fucking challenges.

16:38

Like it's like fucking I'm, I'm in this, I'm on like a high platform or something and I'm trying to.

16:47

Get from point a to point b but i

16:51

can only use like my hands so i'm hanging and using my

16:53

upper body strength and i only have like a little bit

16:56

of space to grab and i'm trying to get around the

16:59

ledge and on the bottom there's just your fingers yeah

17:02

oh so you're doing like medieval ninja warrior in your

17:06

dreams oh and it's like and then

17:08

another one where it's like i have to do you ever wake up and your

17:11

girl finds you like on the fucking edge of the wall

17:14

i'm looking at her what are you doing like wake up jp i'm in the corner like

17:20

freaking out like uh carla delavan whatever her fucking name is have you ever

17:24

seen that delavine delavine where she's like like a golem pretty much in the

17:29

corner she got those big she got big eyes yeah thick eyebrows i was like what are you doing.

17:34

It's like back up but uh yeah it's ridiculous i i woke up and i was like what the fuck was that

17:40

about i had my my whole dream last night

17:43

was alissa and i showed up at some

17:46

house party birthday party something like that somebody's house

17:49

and they opened the door and said hey and we said hey

17:52

and i don't remember who it was but they said we have

17:54

snacks and they handed me a paper plate with green

17:58

olives on it and i went and ran away

18:02

and alissa was chasing after me that was

18:05

a dream you're like a cat you know when they put

18:08

a cucumber behind the cat and it

18:11

gets scared maybe olives is here i don't

18:13

like olives i guess i don't i don't like green olives they're gross dude who

18:17

likes green olives yeah i don't get it that is just like black olives green

18:21

olives i don't like green olive that that's not surprising i'm not even i take

18:25

them i eat the red first and then i eat the green that's nasty yeah delicious

18:29

why is this like you eat the coochie of the olive tree.

18:36

That's yuck. Olives is disgusting.

18:40

What are you talking about? It's delicious. This man eats olives when no one

18:42

is watching. I got them in my fridge right now. He's going to be downstairs.

18:47

I bought an expensive one, too. He's watching House of Dragons with just like a ball of olives.

18:53

Like it's Oreos and shit like that. Break them out in the middle.

18:57

Imagine, yo, if I broke into someone's house and they were just sitting here

19:01

on the couch. I'm assuming you wear Tidy white It's usually a onesie I would

19:06

walk the fuck out A onesie.

19:12

I was usually with the olives and then having like some

19:15

ridiculous drink like apple juice or something it's like what's going

19:18

on in your stomach i see i feel like

19:21

you guys have been watching me because it's warm

19:24

milk and olives it's olives mixed nuts

19:27

and then some kind of fruity drink that i'm

19:30

sitting on the couch really yes your stomach must

19:33

be in shambles that's great bro weird it's great

19:36

you don't just wake up in the middle of the night nah man wait

19:40

didn't you just go to the doctor for stomach stuff

19:43

yeah that's because of hot sauce i was eating way

19:46

too much how much hot sauce do you have that a lot

19:50

bro when you get older you your body can't tolerate that i was i was eating

19:54

a lot of hot sauce but no i've seen some he thinks if he blames it on the hot

20:01

sauce that that makes it sound like he's tough and really what it is it's not

20:04

he had a bunch of blue cheese crumbles and shit.

20:10

He was eating craisins, anyway but that sounds kind of you know lame so i would blame it on hot sauce,

20:20

blue cheese crumbles a nice blue cheese burger yeah like blue cheese burger but then you know,

20:26

my little belly can't handle it anymore at this age you have a sensitive tummy

20:29

don't you yeah i do i like how you said it tummy yeah you gotta say the stomach i don't like,

20:35

I gotta be careful what I eat and I can't take a punch. It's both.

20:42

That's crazy, dude. Getting to that age of like, I can't eat this anymore.

20:47

You've been like that for years, though. I can't have an apple? Yeah, you can't eat apples. To be honest,

20:54

apples really aren't that good. I love apples.

20:57

I see people eating apples like, oh, it's, you know, nature snickers or whatever

21:03

the fuck they call it. nature's yeah like i said instead of eating candy you eat at the fucking apple,

21:14

he's like i can't fucking do it man he can't take it he can't take it he's gonna

21:18

snap look how angry he got did he's so on edge he's so he thought he saw an olive on the camera,

21:28

poor damn he i know that he's going through it nicotine withdrawals.

21:34

Cheeseburger withdrawals i don't know what else he's how many

21:37

cheeseburgers do you have to have to have a withdrawal yeah dude

21:40

danny danny's like that guy from popeye i'll

21:44

pay you tuesday oh wait he's so

21:47

eat yeah you know what

21:50

though i don't even remember the last time i had a cheeseburger really

21:54

yeah damn dude what's your

21:56

diet consists of ground turkey chicken chicken

22:00

breast chicken thigh ground beef salmon that's

22:05

sick i mean vegetables and yeah but it's

22:09

like you're not eating for for pleasure you're

22:12

eating for oh i eat for pleasure too have you seen some of my

22:15

meals no i do i make some pretty pretty good

22:17

shit i'd say i'm one of the best cooks that you probably know

22:20

that's not like professionally trained i i

22:23

make good shit everywhere so you're seizing the hell out

22:26

of it you're saying no because then i'd be like i'd

22:29

have blood i gotta show you this chick on instagram that i've

22:32

been following because she got a fat ass but she's

22:36

uh but she's fucking he has a gym

22:39

i thought you were gonna say something about cooking oh no no no she she works

22:43

out in it she has her own gym and stuff like that and see she put like a oh

22:47

this is my meal prep for the week and it's pretty interesting it's like oh and

22:52

then she sit on it and fart oh my god no she doesn't some steaks oh so you smoke i smoke.

22:59

Too oh there you go see i smoked use the oven told you bro get a smoke you can't

23:05

dude being lazy bro it's not it's the the smoke aftertaste is what you're the

23:11

only one that has that yes and that's why i don't fucking eat it yeah look at

23:15

that that looks delicious, i love i love a good steak yeah man i love a steak i'll fuck with the steak

23:23

break my But I can't... Something sounded bad.

23:27

It did sound pretty bad. Something sounded not good. But, no, we're in the clear. Oh,

23:34

okay, good. I was about to be like, give me a nicotine bath.

23:39

Sorry, I can't take this shit right now. But, no, I love cooking, bro. But I eat for...

23:45

A mixture of both it's like yeah i hate that food is

23:49

fuel thing i hate when people get on that it's like i'm it

23:52

doesn't have to taste good you just eat it it's like and

23:54

you probably like beat your children yeah no

23:57

i see people that you are mad yeah like don't eat nothing don't just eat broccoli

24:02

and chicken breast or ground turkey and and broccoli broccoli is always in there

24:09

for like no seasoning no nothing oh and it's like they're always like super

24:13

like angry masculine dudes yeah

24:15

loki too it's like no wonder you're not fucking eating salt it's like i'd be

24:21

mad too that clip from always sunny in philadelphia when they give charlie steroids

24:26

i don't remember he's eating you guys i will see you out there yeah you'll see me out there.

24:34

What how many times you eat a day six no

24:38

eight let's see the fact that

24:41

you're thinking too hard do you count

24:44

a smoothie as a meal what do

24:47

you count it you know what yeah wait what do you

24:50

count it as do you count it as like a

24:53

drink or do you count it as a meal yeah do you

24:56

drink a smoothie and have a meal no do you just do

24:58

the smoothie by itself that's a meal so i have my breakfast

25:02

and then give us a day give us a day all right you wake up you're happy about

25:06

life not weight cutting yeah first of all i wake up first of all you wake up

25:09

glad to have woken up I'm happy about life Me and Nettie will give us our breakfast

25:14

And then we'll compare it to yours This is a trained Fucking professional fighter,

25:21

His whole day Wakes up with joy in his life Yeah.

25:27

Music.

25:34

Wake up Good morning JP Good morning world Oh, good morning, world.

25:40

No, first I like to do a little bit. Oh, okay.

25:44

Because I'm enjoying it. Yeah, after I brush my teeth, of course. Of course.

25:51

We cross streams over here. But I'm not going to go through my whole morning.

25:55

But for breakfast, three eggs, depending on the day, a little bit of cottage

26:00

cheese, maybe some broccoli in the eggs if I can find some, or cabbage,

26:05

just vegetables, fill it up. and then.

26:08

My dietician had like three strips of bacon, and of course, you pat it dry.

26:13

You make sure all that grease is off. Right. And sometimes- Regular bacon or turkey bacon?

26:19

Or maple bacon. Regular bacon. Regular bacon. I like the thick cut, too. Okay.

26:24

Does anybody eat turkey bacon, dude? That shit is fucking terrible.

26:28

I do like turkey bacon. Oh, why'd you say that? No, no, no, no.

26:32

It's not better than bacon. It's like eating a pound. It's far worse.

26:35

It's like eating a pound. It is food. It's like eating a pound. It's calories.

26:38

Yeah. a panel you said like a cardboard they

26:41

do get outrageously like

26:44

thin brittle and yeah but um and then

26:47

like maybe a slice of aziko bread or like some healthier bread all right unless

26:52

i make my own bread okay and i'll have like a peanut butter hey we're off to

26:57

a roaring start over here mr marito over here all right that's breakfast baby

27:03

that's breakfast jesus and then for after After training,

27:07

because usually I'm maybe doing whatever training I have, hitting the bag or

27:12

strength and conditioning, depending on the day. Finally get back home, and I make my smoothie. That's just kefir,

27:19

bananas, frozen banana, or half a banana. What was that word you said? Kefir?

27:24

Kefir? Yeah, I think that's how you pronounce it. No, no, no.

27:27

First of all, I have no idea what they're even trying to pronounce.

27:31

Yeah, what is it? Kefir, or it's like a yogurt probiotic drink.

27:36

It's like a thick I almost think of Greek yogurt with a little bit of more milk

27:41

in it A drinkable Greek yogurt And it's good It's a lot of probiotics good for

27:46

your gut So I'll have that with a half a banana Or full banana frozen Some frozen

27:51

fruit Put protein powder in it,

27:55

two tablespoons of peanut butter a little bit of flax seeds so much into this cinnamon.

28:01

Do you walk around with your fucking kitchen cabinet in your back i do this

28:06

when i get home oh this is okay okay this is at home okay you think he just

28:10

pulls out a bullet at the gym when you say you said mixed fruit are you talking

28:14

berries melon like the bag of frozen,

28:18

fruit oh yeah yeah what is like the shit he finds outside

28:22

like this like on the bushes he has

28:24

a fruit garden i go to my neighbor's house

28:27

me and him we've been going back and forth for a while so

28:30

i steal his fruit little barter system yeah okay but it's

28:34

yeah sometimes berries or mango okay i was i was on a mango frozen mango cake

28:39

for probably like two years where i just that was the only frozen fruit i cared

28:43

to have in my smoothie all right and then i recently switched back to mixed

28:47

berries so can i can i interrupt because i have been making smoothies for two

28:51

weeks now i I just got a Ninja. Oh, yeah. That's the thing. And it works great. And the smoothies,

28:56

I'm dialing in flavors because I'm using spinach, beets.

29:05

Hey, man. I'm trying to get better, dude. You're trying to roll. I'm trying.

29:11

It's so hard. Don't laugh at him until he tells you everything.

29:14

Yeah. So now he's going to hold back. I started with the worst part just so

29:18

you know. Because them beets are fucking terrible.

29:22

Cooked beets but chicken feet no what else you put a pineapple garbanzo beans avocado,

29:29

yogurt almond milk squirrel tail fucking

29:34

grapefruit raccoon lips god damn this is one smoothie yeah and and then usually

29:39

if i can stuff it in there a banana have you ever played breath of the wild

29:43

yeah he just made dubious i'm gonna tell you something it's it's gray this yeah that's That's how,

29:53

Breath of the Wild would be like And the smoothie is gray I feel like you would

29:59

drink that and lose out That's why it's not the same And I drink that I've been

30:05

drinking that for two meals I'm taking breakfast and lunch both of those I think

30:09

you may cement A little protein powder,

30:12

That's the formula for concrete. But I gotta say I think that's raccoon repellent not only is it not good it's

30:25

also not working so wait did you come up with this or did you like look this

30:31

up look i'm gonna look shit up like beats beats are really good for inflammation.

30:37

So I don't know if I have any of that shit. So let's try it and see if that makes sense.

30:41

He's just going down the list. He's like, maybe all my fucking,

30:44

maybe all my breathing shit is inflamed. And that's why the stuff is good for the gout.

30:49

I might have it, might not. Throw it in there.

30:51

This is going to be good to remove the nail from my foot that I haven't told anybody about.

30:57

Grapefruit is good for something else. I forget. I like grapefruit.

31:01

I throw a whole pomegranate, just the whole thing, skin and all.

31:04

I'm going to be honest, bro. Bro, you should just have it not in the smoothie. It's not good.

31:09

I know that. Oh, no. The beets I can't eat, dude. The beets. They're fucking gross.

31:12

Beets can be good, though. I kind of like beets. How about just not mixing all

31:16

of that in one smoothie? You lost me when you said spinach.

31:19

Why? I refuse to put any vegetable in my smoothie. Like a celery or carrot or anything? Never.

31:25

Really? Without a celery. I thought you were supposed to. I love celery,

31:28

and I love carrots. I will never have that.

31:31

Okay. You never had a carrot apple like a juice?

31:36

Yeah, I've had that. With little ginger? That's different though because you're

31:40

pushing, you're extracting the juices from it. You're squeezing the hell out of it.

31:43

You don't like the sandy parts of your smoothie. What I feel like he just had

31:49

was like... Yeah, the fact that you're chewing a smoothie, I don't think it's, hmm, this is good.

31:55

It's like you really almost just made bad baby food.

32:01

It's like... grapefruit that's what they gave the bad babies the defected babies

32:05

back in the day it's like if you make it you're tough hey we're gonna cure his

32:09

cockiness with some grapefruit and some kale,

32:13

mix it in there with some apricot and

32:16

banana peels like i feel like if i made

32:19

that and gave it to my dog she would just look at me are you

32:23

trying to kill me it's not great the kids the kids are very interested

32:26

in like just watching us make smoothies and

32:29

stuff until i open the beats and they go

32:32

they can smell the beets and they leave the kitchen

32:35

raw beets no it's like a canopy no

32:38

not can they're cooked i don't know

32:41

we got it out of the fucking organic where the fucking organic plants are at

32:45

hey they're cooked hey i don't i don't know what fucking company makes them

32:52

they're not in a can but they're not they're not like fresh uncooked they're

32:57

cooked they're fucking cookie. Can I ask you a question? Yes.

33:00

Be careful. You're gonna lose that belt.

33:04

He doesn't have a cigarette in his hand. Thread lightly.

33:08

No, no, no, no, no. Does your stomach hurt after having that? Yeah.

33:14

It's like your sleep. Did your sleep start getting messed up when you started

33:18

drinking the smoothies? No, no. The sleep started, the sleep got bad before the smoothies.

33:23

That's why I started trying to do something to correct it.

33:27

You know, This name is Andrew Huberman. A lot of people...

33:32

I'm not even going to get into that, because I was going to say, it's like I hate podcast dudes sometimes while I'm on the podcast. Yeah, sure.

33:38

No, but so do we. The dudes that are always like, oh, yeah, I got this one podcast.

33:42

And any information they get from a podcast. Well, at least you didn't go,

33:46

well, Joe Rogan said. Oh, yeah. Right, right, right. Gotcha.

33:49

But when you wake up in the morning, they say you should get 10 to 15 minutes

33:54

of uninterrupted sunlight. Go for a walk. Oh. and then when the sun is

33:59

going down you should go for another walk 10

34:02

to 15 minutes and that's supposed to like help with your

34:04

you believe in that sunlight stuff i believe in circadian rhythm okay that but

34:09

is that what that is yeah it's supposed to help you like get ready for the day

34:13

and then when you go out it's like your body knowing that you're supposed to

34:16

go out i think what's that called your well circadian rhythm is like the rhythm

34:20

of your spell it right you know Isn't that the rhythm of your body?

34:25

What's those bugs called? Cicada. I'm just picturing them outside.

34:33

I feel so relaxed. I was like, what is that? Like trying to keep the rhythm? I am one with the nature.

34:41

I'm getting great sleep after this. You know, I feel fine. Six or five in the

34:47

morning, you know, drive like this. Come by my house. Cicadia.

34:53

Bro that yeah i feel like

34:56

you could get a whole bunch of suburban white women to do that as long

35:00

as a trainer said that there's good for them because they're doing stupid

35:03

shit i'm not making this up there was

35:06

some study and i remember it was it was a thing a couple a couple years ago

35:12

where they said your butthole needs to get some something oh i remember that

35:16

i remember when that came out and fucking bitches are fucking going out they're

35:20

putting bleach in that bottle to the sun Point their ass at the sun.

35:23

Put their asshole to the sun. Can you imagine coming home and just seeing a solar panel?

35:29

Just getting charged up. A little Tesla butthole out here. Just bake all the dingleberries.

35:35

I feel like that would be ground for, like, hey, I'm leaving.

35:41

It's like you're that dumb that you're really pointing your asshole towards the sun. Yeah, dude.

35:45

At what point in our development as humans do you think we ever actually needed

35:51

to do that? I mean, if you're convincing enough, you can convince people to do whatever.

35:57

You gotta use that voice that you use when you're, like, telling,

35:59

when you're talking to the people, like, listen up imagine you want to have a other life or

36:05

you can sound like gary v hey just go to garage shelves

36:08

and just buy stuff for a nickel

36:11

and sell it for a dime you'll be a millionaire by the second quarter then social

36:16

media you gotta be on social media and sell your stuff on social media but imagine

36:22

imagine you got home one day from work and the kids are in there watching Moana or some movie, right?

36:29

And Lisa's in the backyard pointing her asshole at the sun.

36:34

You think I won't be taking pictures of that? And blackmailing her later?

36:40

No, dude, that's like, that's a 5150 territory. Like the involuntary mental institution check-in.

36:47

You know what I mean? Do they have to hold their ass cheeks open?

36:51

Or do they have to be like full? I'm a one with your emergency.

36:53

Oh they gotta at least pull their legs apart or something yeah my wife is in the backyard,

37:00

and she's sunbathing yeah yeah her asshole is it's exposed i got the kids safe

37:10

in a safe spot we're watching moana how soon we're on our way.

37:21

That's crazy so i so you wouldn't fuck

37:23

with my smoothies then sounds like no absolutely not all

37:27

right you lost me at spinach and then when you said avocado i

37:30

hate avocados oh i like so that you

37:33

won't avocados are fruit though if if you gave me

37:36

an avocados like anything thing uh-huh i'm

37:39

throwing up oh no yeah you like you like hate everything i

37:42

like and i try like i've i've been um i keep

37:46

on trying it's like avocado in very small amounts i i'm able to handle a little

37:51

bit like in a roll of sushi yeah but oh you really don't like avocado i can

37:57

it has no taste it does it does i i can know that an avocado is in something

38:03

without even seeing it Like, I don't have to know.

38:05

And that's when I realized that it's maybe an allergy. Are you the same with cilantro?

38:09

There's some people that can taste cilantro, and it tastes like soap.

38:12

Yeah, I've heard that. To them. I have a buddy of mine whose cilantro tastes like soap to them, and I'm like.

38:17

He's got weak genes. I don't know.

38:21

That's what the avocado people say about you. Uh-uh, uh-uh.

38:26

I feel like avocados are different. We didn't even get to his lunch.

38:29

No, yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I threw it all off. Yeah.

38:31

But real quick. So wait, you were on this smoothie kick for how long? Thank you.

38:35

So I did it for a week, and then last week I was out of town,

38:39

so I was doing more like salads and things like that.

38:42

But you didn't see any progress from this smoothie trip. Well,

38:44

let's make it- I don't know. Let's make it- I fucking don't know. Let's make it easier, because JP eats healthy

38:48

and clean and stuff like that. We already got a little look-see at his breakfast. His breakfast was already- Danny, you wake up.

38:55

Go. So let's go prior to the smoothie thing that I've been on.

38:59

My breakfast was usually two eggs, two slices of bacon, and a piece of toast and coffee.

39:05

Okay that's not bad pretty good i'm better

39:09

than what i would do two slices of toast yeah usually i'll

39:12

make it into a sandwich but coffee yeah eggs over easy

39:15

eat better than me pretty good nice runny

39:18

yolk you can dip the bread back in the yolk maybe drizzle a little hot honey

39:22

on it what are we doing food porn you dip it you put that right in there it's

39:26

a good breakfast right you slip it in there you pretty normal yolky i'm not

39:30

doing cereal or fucking Like a donut or anything like that. You're going to

39:34

say you have like sausage or something. It's like you take it out the casing, take the panties off the sausage. Yeah. You feel.

39:40

You feel. You see what's in there. And point this end of the sausage at the sun.

39:47

No, that's breakfast usually. And I don't have a mid-morning. What's your lunch?

39:52

Lunch is. Whatever it's at, 7-Eleven? Nah. Lunch is usually whatever's left

39:58

over from dinner or something. Okay. I don't know. No, I usually just eat like a late breakfast at like 11 and then- That's late?

40:06

A late breakfast at 11? Oh, breakfast. Sorry. I thought you were still on lunch.

40:09

So I usually eat like a late breakfast and then try to make it to dinner without

40:13

eating again. Gotcha. Or I'll have something small like a ham sandwich or something. Okay.

40:17

So ideally you're eating twice a day. Yeah, typically I guess. Okay.

40:21

And that's not good, right? I don't fucking know. JP, that's not good? Twice a day?

40:26

Eating? How many times are you supposed to eat? How many times do you eat again?

40:28

We never even got the number from you. Well we're at two and we haven't made it to lunch yet yeah three and

40:34

you're not at dinner already three or four yeah three or four

40:37

three oh you're okay yeah i think you're eating like seven yeah i'm thinking

40:40

six like there's there's i mean breakfast snack lunch snack that's what i'm

40:47

on when i'm uh when i have a fight coming up okay but a lot the thing is i i

40:52

when you're eating and you're like dieting or whatever.

40:56

You like you're eating less your calories are

40:59

restricted so i'm a fat ass and

41:01

i will hold off on eating like two or

41:05

three meals right just so i can eat them all at one time

41:08

got you because the whole the whole the losing

41:12

losing trying to lose weight from eating is all about calorie deficit right

41:18

and that what they say yeah that's right i mean calorie deficit like uh macros

41:23

making sure you're in line with that and then exercise too but even without exercise macaroons.

41:31

Oh wait that's not what he said i was like the diet is the most important thing

41:36

right yeah yeah the exercise is the second most important part but you want

41:41

to lose diet just i mean you want to lose weight just from food you should just

41:46

have like a spoon of rice and then and do nothing.

41:50

Wait, what are you eating in a spoon of rice? You know what I should do really, honestly? Is fucking like just pick a thing

41:58

and hunger strike over it and see if that fucking works. You know what I mean?

42:04

Just pick a Palestine thing or some fucking anything and just be like,

42:08

I have a hunger strike until then. Until I lose weight. Or the problem is fixed, I guess. Until the Italians open

42:13

up all the borders. Yeah. And then just... I guess if they fix the issue, then I'll quit.

42:18

Yeah so what are you doing then spoon of rice what

42:21

is that i can't no no no because that's if you remember

42:24

the first survivor they have fat

42:28

people in that show and all they were eating was like a cup of rice and a cup

42:33

of rice was like and then richard hatch used to be a big guy ended up being

42:37

like a super slim dude so that's why i always use that example so what's your

42:41

what's your let's get into pedro's my my breakfast because you're gonna dress

42:45

this up for us but Go ahead. No. Go ahead. No. Yeah.

42:50

Recently hasn't been good. I wake up, I'll grab- Bed need? No, no, no, no. I don't, that's the thing.

42:58

I won't have breakfast. I'll just grab water, go to work. I'll go to work,

43:02

get a coffee, drink a coffee. 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock comes to be. Buffet. I'll fucking, there's no buffet.

43:13

I thought we were filling in the blanks. I just get whatever's in the office.

43:20

So at one point- Oh, someone else's lunch. Yeah i'm like a bear.

43:29

No like we have protein bars and stuff like

43:32

that in in our drawers so i'll grab one

43:35

of those candy and no no candy some

43:38

protein bars are pretty yeah but these are from aldi's

43:41

so i don't know how good i can't say

43:44

whether aldi's has good ones or not it's like

43:47

no no these are from aldi's they're okay okay but

43:50

then if it gets really bad and stuff

43:53

like that then i'll just the closest fast food

43:55

that we have is wendy so i'll get the five dollar biggie bag

43:59

of chicken sandwich with the chicken nuggets and

44:02

and whatever but the problem is is that i'm not i'm not having the i'm not having

44:08

the i'm not eating right and then the exercise is sporadic okay you know what

44:14

i mean so and you You made it sound like you have like a crazy breakfast compared to like,

44:19

I thought his breakfast was going to be. What do you have for dinner?

44:23

It depends because my wife works, I work.

44:28

Mondays can be crazy. So it'll either be.

44:32

Chicken fingies. No, no chicken fingers because the kids get the little Chef

44:36

Boyardee fucking thing. So the little ones get taken care of. They'll eat fine.

44:42

And then Lisa will be like, what do you feel like dinner? I don't know.

44:45

What do you feel like dinner? I don't know, whatever you want.

44:47

It's like, bitch, pick something. I don't care. And this will go on for fucking like 30 minutes. And then you just have a peanut butter and jelly.

44:55

Yeah. And then she'll end up going to Chick-fil-A. And if she goes to Chick-fil-A,

44:59

I'll get the Southwest salad. And sadness. And sadness. You should try their cough salad. But it's a lot of

45:07

snack. The problem is the snacking afterwards.

45:10

Like after dinner snacks? After dinner snacks. Because then I'm like a fucking

45:15

raccoon just looking for anything. I got news for you.

45:19

If we cook dinner and we as a family don't eat all of dinner, I will walk through.

45:26

I'll take a fork out of the drawer and set it next to all the food on the stove.

45:31

And every pass I go into the kitchen. And I'll just run laps around the house, eat, taking a bite.

45:39

I hope you say that each time too. Eat the cold

45:45

whatever's cold on the stove yeah that part's

45:48

bad but it's so it's it's a mix if lisa cooks

45:51

it'll be like today we're gonna have chicken so it'll be some

45:54

chicken vegetables she'll make rice but

45:57

i won't eat the rice you don't eat the rice no i'm

46:00

trying to avoid extra carving yeah

46:03

just i'm eating just meat and she's doing the

46:06

same thing because she's she's doing the the

46:09

not the osempic but the you're doing

46:12

a set the other part of one of the ingredients in it or something yeah yeah

46:18

semi-glutide or whatever the great value osempic yeah yeah great value when

46:22

he said oh not osempic it's like the first thing in my head i was like the only

46:28

thing i know that makes you lose weight other than that is crack,

46:33

cracking coke are great

46:36

for fucking diets coke because

46:39

it makes you so fucking wiry that you always gotta do something i don't want

46:46

to be cleaning my house oh fucking coke is like coke is like being hooked up

46:50

to a tens machine like this all day long oh no no no i'm good i'm good your

46:54

muscle you snitch on yourself so quick when you're on I don't care.

47:01

Your eyes are all dialing. Yeah, and your nipples back here.

47:05

You start walking around like this. Hey babe, babe, are you okay? Nah. But it's telltale, because you see people

47:15

doing this shit, especially when they do ecstasy in Mali, when the ecstasy has

47:19

a little bit of heroin and shit. Like you can you used to go to club is club is club,

47:29

they're out here talking like the dude from men in black he was like oh the bug yeah like water,

47:38

sugar water sugar water sugar water,

47:46

no is club still a thing

47:49

do people still go to club yeah of course but back

47:54

in the back in the late 90s ecstasy

47:57

was a big thing and you can tell who was fucking i you would

48:01

see the bitches don't have the face the like the jaw that fucking thing you

48:06

do with your jaw going sideways and you can tell yeah i think you okay it's

48:10

like what's up with these fucking slack and they start doing that a lot of water

48:15

and they start drinking water like Like with the head movement like that?

48:19

Well, now is when you're in New York, right? Here in Florida. In Florida. Yeah. Was Firestone, B.

48:25

Firestone. Can I tell you, when I went to the doctor about my sleep apnea thing,

48:29

they sprayed lidocaine. Lidocaine?

48:31

Oh, lidocaine up my nose because they were going to try to like scope it or some shit like that.

48:36

And it dripped out the back and I went, oh, I remember this.

48:45

I remember i remember a drippy out of the back of the nose feeling.

48:53

Jb gave a look like what you know

48:56

okay all right that's the reason you're

48:59

somebody else the sniffing of the cocaine it doesn't it just fucking lingers

49:03

back there and you just sometimes you feel a little drippy drip come in it's

49:08

like oh nice little drip hey oh i remember what that's like yeah and then it'll

49:13

happen i really don't need it right now oh fuck here we go,

49:19

you ever see anybody on uh on cocaine at the gym have you ever experienced that

49:24

like have you ever accused somebody like yo are you on some shit right now not

49:28

being high because everyone smokes weed we know that yeah but besides weed as

49:32

anyone that you notice is like yeah are you, Is that a good combo anyways, by the way? It can't be because you could see

49:40

that guy sparring and doing a lot of burpees.

49:44

Hey, not for Jon Jones. It's like he said, he was like, he beat DC.

49:51

He was like, after doing coke all weekend. Oh, that's right. Or I could.

49:54

And it's like, I was like, damn, that's a, I was like, that was a hard line right there.

50:00

Lawrence Taylor won the MVP of the NFL.

50:05

As a defensive as a defensive player linebacker

50:09

on crack yeah but i

50:12

feel like crack was different back in the days like crackheads

50:16

back in those days like you could have like a super

50:18

athletic crackhead we've seen crackheads do some crazy shit that's like they

50:23

are complete athletes like i don't know what that crack was back in those days

50:27

a good dieting nowadays but i feel like there's either a different crack or

50:30

they're on some drugs you bringing that up jp a crackhead It reminded me of

50:36

something that he said to me in New York.

50:39

We're walking in New York and he goes, man, homeless people in New York really hustle.

50:45

Not like the homeless people in Florida that just sleep under the bridge.

50:50

Like they're over here, they're like trying to entertain. They're moving a hotel cart across the street.

50:58

They're going on missions. Florida, they're just tanning. They're like bubbles from The Wire.

51:04

Yeah. Oh, they're watching The Wire. What? You've never seen The Wire?

51:07

You watched The Wire, right? Oh, after Game of Thrones. You watched The Godfather?

51:12

Like the original, like the movie? The show. Was it Godfather? No, no, Soprano. Oh, no.

51:18

Oh, okay. So he's just watching Game of Thrones for the first time ever. Yeah.

51:25

Listen, I'm about 10 years behind on everything. So you know about the disappointment.

51:29

I know that there is a disappointment at the end. Just wait. I have no idea.

51:34

Just wait. He's in the golden era right now. Right now I'm having a great time

51:39

watching this show. I told him it's great. And I know it's... And then I explained to him the last season the producers

51:45

got a contract with Star Wars.

51:47

They wanted to be done with Game of Thrones. They didn't give a shit.

51:50

Is that what it was? You're going to see Starbucks cups.

51:53

You're going to see a Visani. Look how that turned out. I thought it was the

51:56

fact that, what's his name? George R.R. Martin. He didn't fucking finish the book. Oh, that was after season

52:02

five. Yeah, season five. And then they went in the rush, and he was like, no.

52:06

He was like, no, and I'm still not going to write the book. Did he ever write

52:10

it? Nope. No, never. We're still waiting. He's still waiting. Man.

52:14

But yeah, the two guys got a deal with Star Wars, and then the deal fell through.

52:20

I think they were going to do Solo or some shit.

52:22

I think they want to do solo and they're supposed

52:25

to do what's the was it's not

52:28

rebels it's it's the one oh my god after new rogue one was it was they're supposed

52:33

to be on rogue one or something i don't know but thank god they weren't because

52:36

rogue one is the best star wars that was a pretty good one because that one

52:40

was before jedi before star wars yeah that was that's because that was

52:47

what led to the death star correct okay and

52:50

that was the first a new hope new hope

52:52

yeah with luke and yeah where luke was introduced it ends where

52:56

it picks up yeah new hope yeah that was the prequel to the

52:59

correct that was like that was great that was a really good movie what's out

53:03

now i don't know what this is i don't know what star wars is right there's a

53:06

bunch of stuff out now are you watching it no i gave up really yeah i threw

53:11

in a towel like the tv shows i can't i I hate you for talking in this.

53:16

I don't want to follow the story. I don't like lesbians in my sci-fi.

53:20

I can't stand the type of Star Wars fan he is. Why is that?

53:25

I'm done watching all these branches because you... I don't like black people in Spain.

53:29

Because that's what it feels like. He's supposed to be black.

53:33

That's what it feels like. A black Jedi?

53:36

Yeah. You know what you are? What am I? You are to Star Wars the same way people are just like...

53:42

They don't teach kids how to balance a checkbook in school anymore or write

53:47

in cursive. And you just go, hey, man, fuck you. Shut up.

53:53

Is that an argument? Yeah, that's what you like. Kids don't wear a suit to go to school anymore.

53:59

Oh, fuck off. That's what it feels like. They don't even have a lunchbox.

54:03

I just, I fell off after the second movie. I mean, I don't blame you. I've never really cared for much of any of them at

54:09

all, so I get it. Yeah. Not like the old ones.

54:11

I'm surprised that you don't even care that much what you hate.

54:14

I just hate the type of fan. Yes.

54:17

Oh, Danny just loves to hate the type of fan he is.

54:20

Yeah, yeah. It's like, well, fucking write your own Star Wars.

54:23

That's a good argument. Everyone says that. We know how his is going to be.

54:29

The shit flies off, and then for some reason, you just hear a fart.

54:35

If you looked at Kermit's script for Star Wars, it would just be pew,

54:38

pew, wing, wing, yow, yow. Like, yeah.

54:42

Ahooka, ahooka. Someone flying an X-Wing and accidentally hitting somebody.

54:47

Body yeah the x-wing has flames on it

54:50

has stickers all on the back you know what you're horny

54:54

yeah you know what the equivalence of you are is

54:57

pretty much what jp goes through of people that are not in mma don't train or

55:02

anything going oh you should have done the takedown and done the kimura and

55:08

you should have put the choke hold and like shut the fuck up guy you know how

55:14

hard that shit is well No, but that's what you guys are right now. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

55:21

Fuck you. You go in there. Yo, speaking of that, have you been training with Perry?

55:27

When was the last time you trained with Perry? Before his. Before the whole

55:31

Logan? No, no, no. I mean. Before Tiago Alves. Before Tiago Alves. Yeah. Okay, cool.

55:36

I didn't know if you know he's going to be fighting Jake Paul.

55:41

Which is pretty big. That's big. big but are

55:44

they going to go like 16 ounce gloves and you know

55:47

no punching to the face are they gonna do like that kind of stuff why would

55:50

they do that i don't i feel like those youtubers they have

55:53

these crazy contracts and rules do

55:56

they yeah when i heard mike tyson's fight he was

55:59

getting paid by the round and if it didn't go

56:01

past a certain amount that was like a percentage of

56:05

his money so it pretty much just favors like

56:08

the youtube boxer but then it's also it's

56:11

like i don't know what kind of contract perry got but it would be funny

56:14

regardless he gets like a contract and he's like

56:16

i'm gonna fucking knock him out regardless because he could be that guy right

56:20

like he would mike's fighting with those fucking carnival gloves they're gonna

56:26

give him those fucking the ones that go the big ass yeah the big ass fucking

56:32

the boppums yeah the ones they used to at the Fox Celebrity Boxing Gloves.

56:36

The big ass fucking ones, the super clowns.

56:40

And then he's going to be strapped on with a bear trap.

56:45

In three quarters of the ring. What? So he's going to be chained at the ankle.

56:50

So he can only use one quarter. Yeah. Aren't these professional fights, though?

56:56

Aren't they sanctioned fights? They are sanctioned. I'm not sure what.

57:00

So there's got to be a level of something to them. Either way. I mean, we all know.

57:05

He's not bare knuckle. For sure. We know.

57:08

Jake would not do that. I'm like,

57:12

you're pretty much just signing your own death certificate at that point

57:15

yeah say goodbye to any youtube video you're gonna

57:18

do forever after that but either way it's

57:21

like jake has a problem on his

57:23

hands big time he does right big time because mike mike perry is not he's so

57:30

he's not like gonna keep it together to dance for the money he keeps it together

57:35

and then once they go ding ding

57:38

fucking here comes a popka fucking Fucking solar salesman of the year.

57:44

Fucking has flashback of punching an old guy at a restaurant kind of deal.

57:48

Just fucking everything. I'm kind of looking forward i haven't watched any of the jake paul fights live

57:56

but i would probably watch this one i don't remember the last time that guy

57:59

fought and who he fought i mean i know it's probably some was it silva didn't

58:04

he fight anderson silva silva, jake paul fought him or his brother i thought i was logan no logan no who did

58:11

logan fight adam he fought anderson kevin owens logan fought anderson silva

58:15

right yeah and then jake paul fought an uber driver i think.

58:22

I'm pretty sure that that's what they said like his the guy he fought because

58:26

somebody was like he knocked out tyrone woodley twice come on no only once he

58:31

fought him twice yeah fought twice but the second one he didn't get knocked

58:35

he didn't go to sleep i do my boy like that man.

58:38

Would you do bare knuckle i don't know if we asked you

58:41

that or not no dude look at that for a price for a price for

58:44

a price but you need the price that is it's like look at

58:47

that money maker you're gonna fucking ruin that it's like

58:50

what's the point did you not say no but the price luke rockhold

58:53

lost his from my god for a price yeah every fighter

58:56

is gonna be like okay i can't turn that down okay but it

59:00

has to be some serious money for me to really risk because i'm like i don't

59:04

look like you bums i don't i don't look like you guys i do not have to do this

59:09

and it's like and i'm smarter than you guys so it's like i have all these different

59:14

reasons for me not so we're We're talking six digits.

59:18

Six digits. Only 10,000. No, no, no. That's five digits. Yeah,

59:23

you're right. That's five digits. Six. Have you been bare knuckling lately?

59:27

I've been fighting. I've been fighting. You're not bare knuckling.

59:30

I've been fighting, man. When you said six digits, I don't know why. Six figures.

59:36

I fucked it all up. The six digits. I fucked it up. It should have been six

59:40

figures. I was like, six digits? I was like, all right.

59:45

One, two, three. That's $1,000. Yeah, you're counting to .00?

59:52

Jake did fight Anderson Silva. I just looked it up. But before that was Ben Askren.

59:56

That was the one I was forgetting. I have an issue with Jake Paul because he

1:00:00

keeps beating people that I'm cool with. Oh, that's right.

1:00:05

It's like, why the fuck is he? It's like, stop. Stop. You're on the list.

1:00:10

He's working his way towards you, baby. That's your pay. CM Punk is gonna be on that list.

1:00:18

Let's not get into wrestling He making his money,

1:00:22

He's back baby He's back It's funny

1:00:25

when people are like oh you know CM Punk I didn't even know that

1:00:28

Why the fuck would I tell you Hey my name is JP I know CM Punk Are you watching

1:00:35

WWE right now I actually don't watch any wrestling If I watch anything wrestling

1:00:41

related It's probably because of him I will say. He's cooking right now. He's good.

1:00:46

I will say there is a wrestler that I'll watch sometimes.

1:00:51

I forgot his wrestling name. Well, then. What does he do? You tell me what he does. Or what he looks like.

1:00:59

I'll have to get back to you guys. Okay. You know, I hate when this happens.

1:01:04

When it's like, I know the person. I talk to him and all that.

1:01:06

And I know his name. But then you forget when.

1:01:09

Okay. It's the camera's fault. It's the camera's fault. Is that what it is?

1:01:12

Yeah. Man, I love wrestling right now so much.

1:01:15

I'm trying to keep it in. Boom goes to dynamite. I know you do.

1:01:18

I'm keeping it in over here. But boy, I'm so happy. You are. You're very excited.

1:01:23

I don't understand why you're not like this. Why I'm not what?

1:01:27

Because you have that, like you have what I want to have right now is with her.

1:01:32

Kid's excitement of like wrestling's on.

1:01:35

Let's watch it. The kids. Let's go nuts. The kids love it. You're right.

1:01:40

You don't get into it. No, it's okay. I don't have an issue with it.

1:01:43

I just got it. The Creed brothers. Oh, okay. Oh, because one of them. He trains at Fusion. Yeah,

1:01:49

he trains at Fusion. I was trying to make sure I had their name right. Yeah.

1:01:53

Cool. Yeah. The rumor is they're going to be with Gable.

1:01:59

Gable's going to have a stable. Gable's dead. He's coming back.

1:02:03

He's coming back. They killed him, remember? The stable is the Creed brothers and Gable.

1:02:07

Oh, okay. It's going to be like an Olympic thing. I love that thing.

1:02:10

They're kind of waiting on that. But anyways. That's a big boy.

1:02:14

He's a good wrestler. It goes by Julius, but his name is Jacob. Right. He's a good,

1:02:21

solid wrestler. That's a tall one. You mean like wrestler, wrestler.

1:02:24

Yeah, because he was wrestling with DC.

1:02:28

DC had him for training camps or something like that.

1:02:32

I don't know. Well, I mean, if they're at AKA, there's a lot of Russians there.

1:02:37

But he's a solid wrestler, freak athlete. Really? Huge.

1:02:42

And I like watching some of the stuff that he does. I mean, I'm not a WWE fan.

1:02:47

For his size, he's very athletic, too. He'd be doing the flips and jumping off

1:02:52

top rope. He's wild. And his brother, too.

1:02:55

Like, they're both. His brother. Oh, so they're actual brothers?

1:02:57

I always never know that. Like, I don't believe they're brothers.

1:03:00

I don't know. Yeah, okay. I feel like I saw pictures of them together,

1:03:03

but they could have had just any two. Hey, we're brothers.

1:03:08

Big strong brothers over here. I thought Undertaker and Kane were brothers for

1:03:11

it. I did too. And I found out when I was 35.

1:03:16

That's pretty bad. I believe that to the core. So when you say brother,

1:03:22

I'm like, oh, okay. I believe it. Kerwin is very excited about wrestling right now. So excited,

1:03:28

bro. Yeah. Yes. It's so good. No, they actually are brothers.

1:03:31

Oh, nice. Yeah, because I looked at... They both have the same last name.

1:03:36

Yeah, I saw that video of him training at Fusion. I'm like, oh,

1:03:39

shit, this guy's going to be a problem. He's getting ready for, hey, in case his WWE shit don't work out.

1:03:47

There's quite a few wrestlers that train at Fusion now. Or maybe Kermit is doing

1:03:52

the whole thing of when he walks in there.

1:03:58

Oh fucking the undertaker's trying to hear you hey hey cody rhodes you want

1:04:03

me to hold mints for you fucking julian just saying hi to him oh cody you're

1:04:08

gonna defend the belt are you gonna do are you gonna do a set or what.