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available in all states and situations. Hello

1:07

and welcome to the new Mindset Who

1:09

This podcast. My name is Case Kenny

1:12

at case.kenny on Instagram. And this is

1:14

my weekly podcast where I create short,

1:16

no BS episodes dedicated to helping you

1:19

become the person you're meant to be.

1:21

Leave your comfort zone and live a

1:23

purposeful and fulfilling life. Let's go.

1:30

All right. Welcome

1:53

to episode 606. Hello,

1:56

my friend. Welcome to a fresh new episode

1:58

of new Mindset Who This. As always, thank

2:00

you so much for listening. Thank you for

2:02

supporting me and today I want

2:05

to visit something I wrote on Instagram the other

2:07

day. Maybe you saw it, maybe you didn't, but

2:09

I wrote the following. I said, if you've been

2:11

hurt or let down and you find yourself wondering

2:14

how could someone treat me like this? Remember

2:17

this, you are not them. You

2:19

are the kind of person who stays up

2:21

late to listen to a friend's worries, who

2:23

goes the extra mile to make others feel

2:25

valued, who gives love freely. If

2:27

known darkness, but you still offer your light to others, the

2:30

thought of causing someone else pain breaks

2:32

your heart. That is why

2:34

their actions confuse you. You can't understand their

2:36

actions because they're not in your nature. Kindness

2:39

and empathy are ingrained in who you are. Embrace

2:42

this difference. You are

2:45

built to uplift others, not bring them

2:47

down. You are not them. And

2:49

that is your strength. And

2:51

you know, I wrote that the other day and I was reflecting on

2:53

this a bit more today. I

2:55

really try to live by this, specifically

2:58

this as someone who puts himself

3:00

out there on the internet and a

3:02

lot of my friends, I surround myself with people

3:04

who do a lot of creative things, a lot

3:06

of ambitious things, a lot of vulnerable,

3:09

emotional things in life. I'm

3:11

certainly no stranger to haters.

3:13

I'm no stranger to hurt

3:15

and criticism and negativity. And

3:18

then also in life in general, I'm no stranger to pain.

3:21

I've lived and learned. And

3:23

now I'm no stranger to being disappointed or to be

3:25

hurt by other people, to be

3:27

on the receiving end of behavior where

3:29

objectively I can say, well, they were wrong. Even

3:32

here in Miami, like recently my girlfriend and I

3:34

had someone do something mean and

3:36

kind of spiteful to us. And we were just

3:38

kind of stunned. And we were like, wow, that

3:40

was mean. That was wrong. And

3:44

in those instances where most people

3:46

would agree, right, what someone

3:48

did was unnecessary or like that was a

3:50

dick move. No way around it. Or how

3:52

could someone do wrong like that? How could

3:54

someone do you dirty like that amidst

3:57

those human instances? I've found

3:59

comfort. In housing and redirecting my

4:01

energy away from what we're inclined

4:03

to do and back to myself.

4:06

Back. To where I think it

4:08

belongs. When someone's actions hurt you.

4:11

It's so freakin' easy to get

4:13

caught up in questioning why they

4:15

did it. But our power lies

4:17

and shifting our focus. rather than

4:20

dissecting their lack of compassion. What

4:22

we should be doing is acknowledging

4:24

that their behavior as reflection of

4:27

their own issues, not ours. We

4:29

have the choice to rise above

4:31

and respond with grace to ourselves.

4:33

not to them, but to ourselves.

4:36

That is. Celebrating our ability to

4:38

be kind and considerate because it shows

4:40

that we have a deep well of

4:42

empathy that as other people do not

4:44

and is it had a quality that

4:47

everyone has kindness Empathy It's something that

4:49

we have and it's something that we

4:51

should be proud of. So in moments

4:53

where you feel wronged and you are

4:55

wrong object of you are wrong by

4:58

someone are mistreated by someone take a

5:00

step back and remind yourself of the

5:02

fact that you have is quality you

5:04

don't need to understand why other people.

5:06

Choose to not see, don't need

5:09

understand why they choose to be

5:11

unkind. Would matters is that you

5:13

choose to be different. Your strength

5:15

is found in your kindness and

5:17

it's sets you apart instead of

5:19

letting negative experiences hard and you

5:22

let them be a reminder that

5:24

is the put the point. They

5:26

are a reminder of who you

5:28

are, That is your ability to

5:30

maintain compassion and empathy even in

5:33

the face of adversity. So we're

5:35

celebrating our capacity for. kindness and were

5:37

knowing that other people don't have it and

5:39

that means it's our stance it's likes of

5:41

stick about a more like animals you heard

5:43

the saying that when you got when you're

5:45

pointing at someone when you're blaming someone you've

5:47

got one pinger singer pointing at damn and

5:49

three pointing back at you the idea being

5:51

like take a look in the mere am

5:53

kind of in a negative sense am but

5:55

i think about this and the good sense

5:57

like when you can look at someone and

6:00

they did wrong and you're pointing at them, then

6:02

with the way that your hand works, you've got

6:04

three other fingers pointing back at you, that

6:06

is a good thing. You're pointing at them and you're

6:08

saying, that's them, but this is me. It's

6:11

a reminder of who you are. And

6:14

like I said, I was reflecting on this a bit

6:16

more today and just like kindness. I was thinking about

6:18

kindness. It's what I do on the weekends, I guess.

6:21

I was thinking about not being a dick in

6:23

life. The more relatable way

6:25

to say that. And while I was thinking

6:27

about this, really serendipitously, I came across this

6:29

tweet on Twitter from someone named Nina

6:31

Agrawal. And she said the following, she

6:33

said, it is a credit to your

6:35

character that you do not understand why

6:38

people do unkind things. So instead of

6:40

despairing over and picking apart someone's lack

6:42

of compassion and consideration toward you, celebrate

6:44

the fact that yours is abundant enough

6:47

to never treat people that way. That

6:50

is what I mean by this. Said much

6:52

more eloquently than I could put it. It

6:55

is a credit to your character that you

6:57

do not understand why people do unkind things.

6:59

So instead of despairing and picking apart someone's

7:01

lack of compassion and consideration towards you, celebrate

7:04

the fact that yours is abundant enough to

7:06

never treat people that way. Yours

7:08

being your compassion, your empathy, your kindness. It

7:10

is bubbling over in you. And that is

7:13

why you are not those people. And that

7:15

is why you do not understand those people.

7:17

And I've just found in my life that

7:19

this kind of thought process is the

7:21

fastest path to healing. It's

7:24

the fastest path to feeling light again

7:26

at peace with yourself, at peace

7:29

with moving forward. It's the

7:31

fastest way forward instead of spending time

7:34

with the weight of someone else's hurtful

7:36

actions on your back, trying to decipher

7:38

them, trying to understand them, trying to

7:40

rationalize them. Pause, celebrate

7:43

the abundance of kindness and

7:45

consideration that you live by,

7:47

that you offer, that you actually offer

7:50

and you live by. Instead of trying

7:52

to decipher why they don't do the

7:54

same or whatever, right? Do

7:56

you really need to understand why? Do you

7:58

really need to understand anything more than? that

8:00

was wrong and this is right, I'm

8:02

not so sure. I really do think

8:04

the most powerful way to protect your

8:07

peace, to come back to you

8:09

when someone else tries to take you from

8:11

you, when they try to hurt you and

8:13

they did, instead of sitting

8:15

in that space of their negativity

8:17

and their pain, celebrate your kindness.

8:20

And not just your ability to be kind, but the fact

8:23

that for the most part you are kind. You

8:25

really are, you give freely, you pause before

8:28

you speak, you're empathetic, you've been hurt and

8:30

misunderstood before and you know how

8:32

much that hurts you, so you try your

8:34

best to not enact the same pain on

8:36

others. That is something

8:39

to be so incredibly celebrated.

8:41

Not only do you have a capacity for kindness,

8:44

but you actually live it. Not

8:46

everyone does. When someone's

8:48

actions hurt you, remember it is a

8:51

reflection of them, not you. Celebrate

8:53

your capacity for empathy. Why

8:56

they don't have empathy, why they're unkind,

8:58

doesn't really matter. What matters

9:00

is that you are not them. Don't

9:03

dwell on why they treated you poorly.

9:05

Rejoice in knowing that you don't do

9:07

the same. Because your

9:09

strength lies in maintaining certain aspects of humanity

9:11

that so many people give up on. Because

9:14

it's not easy. In instances where

9:16

someone wrongs you or hurts you, the most

9:18

powerful thing we could do is

9:20

recognize that their lack of kindness is

9:22

their issue. Your ability

9:24

to rise above and act with kindness

9:27

and empathy is a testament to you.

9:29

So we're taking our power back from them,

9:31

back to us. We're celebrating our abundance of

9:33

these things that they do not have. And

9:36

I've found it helpful too to sometimes realize

9:38

that people who are hurtful or

9:41

spiteful or vindictive or selfish, whatever word we want

9:43

to use, specifically they

9:45

lack something. They are lacking.

9:47

They are less. They are

9:49

small in a world that

9:52

gives them every opportunity to to

9:55

not to rise above. They

9:57

stayed resentful when life gave them every

9:59

opportunity. to heal and find peace. They

10:02

stayed hurt when they didn't need to

10:04

carry that pain. They stayed angry when

10:06

they could have forgiven themselves or other

10:08

people. That in a sense

10:10

is like something almost to feel sorry for them.

10:13

They aren't winning because they won't let go.

10:15

They won't let go of pain and hurt

10:17

and resentment and that is why they do

10:20

these things. You though are

10:22

winning, winning in quotes right just as saying,

10:24

you are winning because kindness who you

10:26

are. You do not remain

10:29

small. You do not remain hurt. They

10:31

do and this is something to

10:33

highlight. Not that you're like better than them, but

10:35

that you are not them. Remind yourself

10:37

that you are not them. You

10:39

are not them. Hey, real

10:42

quick. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp

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12:04

You are not dumb. That is your power. And

12:06

it is a path back to yourself. Don't

12:08

let other people's actions dictate how you

12:11

feel about yourself. Their

12:13

inability to treat you with

12:15

the respect that you give them says more

12:18

about them than it does about you so

12:20

much more. But in this instance, we're so

12:22

we're reminding ourselves what it does mean about

12:24

us. We're keeping our head high,

12:26

we're keeping our hearts open. And

12:29

by doing so, we're highlighting

12:31

our compassion, the gift that

12:33

we have that we haven't given away. Clearly,

12:35

some people have, but you have not.

12:37

So we're protecting it, we're cherishing it,

12:40

and we're highlighting it. When

12:42

someone hurts you, right, it's so tempting to

12:44

say, why would they do this? Yada, yada,

12:46

yada. But the truth is,

12:48

even with, you know, some introspection and

12:51

therapy, and even like diving into it,

12:53

you might never get a satisfying

12:56

answer. And you could sit down with

12:58

a therapist and dissect behavior, and you

13:00

still might not get a satisfying answer.

13:02

Because there's all kinds of reasons why

13:04

people do shitty things, right? People project

13:06

their, their fears, their insecurities, their unresolved

13:08

issues onto other people. When

13:10

people lash out, it's usually 99%

13:13

about them, nothing to do with you. So you

13:16

might not ever get the this

13:18

satisfying answer of clarity. And

13:21

you can either let that negativity

13:23

consume you the process of trying

13:25

to understand and decipher consume you,

13:27

or you can rise above and

13:29

celebrate what you have. Celebrate

13:32

what you have. Think about the times in

13:34

your life that you cheesy

13:36

examples, but think about the times that you've stayed up late

13:38

comforting a friend or you went out of your way to

13:40

do something kind or whatever, those

13:43

actions define who you are. You

13:46

are someone who spreads the light even when

13:48

the darkness is right there. If

13:50

it when everyone else is in the darkness, you

13:52

do those kind of things because it's who you

13:54

are. When someone hurts you, it

13:56

feels like a betrayal of your own

13:58

values, which is why disconfuses you. I would

14:00

never do this. How can someone else do it? But

14:03

instead of letting their actions harden you,

14:06

let them be a reminder of

14:08

why you're choosing kindness, empathy, light

14:10

in the first place. It's

14:13

part of who you are. It sets you

14:15

apart in a world that is filled

14:17

with people who have forgotten their

14:19

ability to do these things. It

14:22

is okay and frankly, sometimes necessary to be

14:24

angry and to be hurt. Those

14:26

are valid emotions, but don't let

14:28

them dictate or change

14:30

the person you are. Use them as

14:33

fuel to reinforce your commitment to kindness.

14:35

And every time then you rise

14:38

above temptation and you choose empathy

14:40

instead of retaliation, you're

14:42

not just being kind, you're being

14:44

stronger. You're being stronger than those

14:47

people. You're showing that no

14:49

matter what is thrown at you, you won't be

14:51

broken. You won't be made small. None

14:53

of that. You will continue to be

14:56

committed to being a source of light

14:59

and surround yourself with people who do the same. Having

15:02

a capacity for kindness or

15:04

empathy or any positive trait is like,

15:07

it's a good thing, right? Like this

15:09

word capacity, but everyone has

15:11

capacity for things. Everyone has the ability to

15:13

do nice things. That is

15:15

great, but it doesn't mean much.

15:17

It's your actions that matter. You

15:19

might have the capacity to understand

15:21

someone's pain, but how you

15:24

respond to that with understanding, that is what

15:26

makes the difference. Take the example of

15:28

people who claim to be empathetic,

15:30

right? I feel like this is a

15:33

catchphrase on the internet these days. Doesn't everyone

15:35

say they're they're an empath or

15:37

they're a highly empathetic person? Well,

15:40

you know, they can talk about

15:42

having empathy all day long, but

15:44

if they don't act on it when someone

15:46

else needs support or love, then

15:49

that capacity to be

15:51

empathetic means nothing. It means

15:53

nothing. It's like having the ability to run

15:55

a marathon, but you never train and you

15:58

never show up on race day. True

16:00

strength what sets you apart in

16:02

moments that are difficult is

16:05

not just capacity It's a willingness to

16:07

act and when you do not

16:09

allow yourself to be made small by other people

16:11

and you offer kindness and compassion freely

16:14

and Enthusiastically that is what

16:16

sets you apart That is

16:18

what sets you apart think about the people in your life

16:20

who have proven this to you who have made a difference

16:22

in your life It's not just

16:24

because those people had the potential

16:27

to be nice to you or supportive to

16:29

you or go out of their way to help You it's

16:31

because they did those things Right.

16:34

They did those things Maybe it was a teacher who stayed

16:36

after school to help you or a friend who showed up

16:38

for you doing a hard time And

16:40

you didn't even ask them right Actions speak

16:42

louder than words and it

16:45

speaks louder about this idea of capacity Everyone

16:47

has the capacity to do kind things a

16:49

lot of people choose not to you

16:52

do not and that is what matters by

16:54

Acting on your capacities you create Such

16:56

a big difference and light in your life and

16:59

in the world and that is something we need

17:01

to highlight It is worth

17:03

highlighting I know it sounds cheesy But in

17:05

the instances where we're tearing ourselves apart and

17:07

we're questioning them and ourselves This is the

17:10

place that we can return to remind

17:12

yourself of who you are people who

17:14

hurt you They are

17:16

revealing their own battles that they're

17:19

losing Frankly let their negativity

17:21

roll off of you and continue shining. So

17:23

that's it under right here if this was

17:25

helpful It'd mean a lot to me if

17:27

you share the podcast with a friend just

17:29

to send them the link to Apple podcast

17:31

or the Spotify Thank you so much for

17:33

doing that. But that's it. As always, thank

17:35

you so much for listening Thank you for

17:37

supporting me and until next episode You

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