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1:01

available in all states and situations. Hello

1:07

and welcome to the new Mindset Who

1:09

This podcast. My name is Case Kenny

1:12

at case.kenny on Instagram. And this is

1:14

my weekly podcast where I create short,

1:16

no BS episodes dedicated to helping you

1:19

become the person you're meant to be.

1:21

Leave your comfort zone and live a

1:23

purposeful and fulfilling life. Let's go.

1:30

All right. Welcome

1:53

to episode 609. Hello,

1:56

my friend. Welcome to a fresh new episode

1:58

of new Mindset Who This. as always, thank

2:01

you so much for listening. Thank you for

2:03

supporting me. And today, something

2:05

special for a couple of reasons. The first

2:07

is I have a guest on the podcast.

2:10

And what makes this guest and his this

2:13

conversation we have together is that Jimmy,

2:15

my guest, Jimmy Queen, is

2:17

a regular freaking dude. He is a

2:20

blue collar guy, a gritty guy, no

2:22

BS guy, hardworking guy, just

2:24

a regular dude with a great, vulnerable

2:27

mindset. He's a real masculine role

2:29

model, someone who evangelizes

2:31

for mental health and is open and transparent in

2:33

his life. And the reason I'm excited to have

2:35

sat down and chatted with him is because of

2:38

just that. He's a regular

2:40

guy. And I consider myself a really, really

2:42

regular guy as well. So here we have

2:44

two regular guys chopping it up on the

2:46

podcast, talking about mental health, vulnerability,

2:49

emotions. And I say

2:51

that specifically, because as much as I

2:53

love listening to other podcasts or watching

2:55

videos or whatever it is, say

2:57

with a trained therapist with

3:00

30 years experience, and they're reflecting

3:02

on what they've learned in all

3:04

of their sessions, or, you know,

3:06

the latest Andrew Huberman podcast talking

3:08

about biohacking your sleep, or, you

3:10

know, technical evaluations of anxiety, or

3:12

whatever, or just listening to some,

3:14

you know, a guest on a

3:16

show with some insane over the

3:19

top life story. As much

3:21

as I do get a lot of value out

3:23

of that, what has taught me most

3:25

in life are regular people

3:28

using regular words, telling

3:30

regular relatable stories. And

3:33

I think in like the wellness space in

3:35

particular, right, this space, the

3:38

internet is so quick to

3:40

promote and share content that's

3:43

circled around experts. And,

3:46

you know, using therapy language and research

3:48

and studies and diagnoses and things like

3:50

attachment styles or words like imposter syndrome

3:53

or, you know, trauma, things like that.

3:55

Certainly, don't get me wrong, certainly things

3:57

that are so important and so relevant.

4:00

and definitely deserve our attention, but

4:02

I've learned more and more after doing 600

4:04

episodes, writing thousands of

4:06

quotes and books and all these

4:08

things that the context

4:11

and the language we use

4:13

when discussing these topics are

4:15

so important because it

4:17

either amps us up to examine the

4:19

topics or it makes us feel distant

4:22

from them. It either gives

4:24

us some fluidity or some friction,

4:27

context, language, and

4:29

people matter. And I don't know about you, but

4:31

when I talk to people who are regular people

4:34

and who use regular human language

4:36

and come at it through the

4:38

lens of life experience and I

4:41

to describe it, their struggles,

4:43

what they've learned, it is so impactful

4:45

for me. Just talking about your life,

4:48

no identity frameworks or complicated language

4:50

or references and referencing studies, just regular

4:52

language and regular people. And that's what

4:54

I really wanted to do today,

4:56

just to try this out, a conversation

4:59

between two guys, between two regular

5:01

guys. So I'm excited to have Jimmy

5:03

Queen on the podcast, Jimmy regular guy.

5:05

Check out his Instagram at

5:08

Jimmy Queen and you'll see what I mean.

5:10

He's a badass dude. He's a really in

5:12

shape guy. He's a gritty, no BS dude.

5:14

He comes from the trades. He's a blue

5:17

collar guy. He's a family man. He's

5:19

gone through a lot of his own struggles.

5:21

He shares on the podcast. He had a

5:24

kid at a very young age, which is

5:26

of course, very challenging. He battled with

5:29

alcohol and with sobriety. He has

5:31

a passion for fitness and for coaching. And

5:35

how I met Jimmy was through an introduction that

5:37

I actually asked for. On Instagram, you might

5:39

have noticed that I've been tagging a company called

5:41

Purpose Belt in a bunch of posts lately. Purpose

5:44

Belt is a supplier of brands

5:46

and goods and apparel and shoes,

5:48

you name it specifically for blue

5:51

collar tradespeople and first responders. And

5:53

I've been working with them over

5:55

the past month because their mission

5:57

is to make a difference in

5:59

the lives of tradespeople by evangelizing

6:01

conversations about mental health. Mental

6:04

health, right, for this community that

6:06

is so underserved when it comes

6:08

to this topic, blue collar trades

6:11

people, the foundation of

6:13

our country, hardworking people. And so I've

6:15

been working with them, as well as

6:17

a nonprofit called Project Healthy Minds, which

6:20

provides mental health services and resources to

6:22

communities to also evangelize for

6:24

these conversations. And so the other day I asked

6:26

Purpose Belt to introduce me to someone who I

6:29

could talk to, who's a regular guy, who's a

6:31

person in the trades, and who is a great

6:33

example of how to be a strong,

6:36

masculine, vulnerable person who

6:39

prioritizes conversations about mental health. And voila,

6:41

here we are with Jimmy Queen. And

6:43

so we spoke here for about 30

6:45

minutes on so many great topics

6:47

from what makes a tougher, strong

6:49

man to what to do when

6:51

you feel alone, to his one

6:53

day at a time mindset. And we also

6:55

talked a little bit about strength and ego.

6:58

So really excited to play this for you.

7:00

I think you'll find it refreshing. And

7:02

I think it'll inspire you to find

7:05

strength in your own life. So join

7:07

me for this episode, episode 609 with

7:09

Jimmy Queen. Awesome. Well,

7:12

Jimmy, I'm excited to chat with you in particular

7:14

because for one, this was an introduction from my

7:16

friends Chelsea and Chris who run a brand called

7:19

Purpose Belt, which is a brand that I've been

7:21

working with for

7:23

a powerful reason, which is kind

7:25

of evangelizing conversations around mental health

7:28

and wellness, specifically in

7:30

blue collar and tradespeople communities.

7:33

So it's been great working with them. And

7:35

I asked them, I said, hey, can I

7:37

talk to someone who can kind of peel

7:40

back the curtain a little bit more on

7:42

kind of that mentality in those communities

7:45

and they introduced me to you. And

7:48

I think we're gonna have a great conversation because between the two

7:50

of us, we're just a couple of regular guys. And

7:53

you from chatting with you a little bit here,

7:55

you present yourself as a no BS, just

7:59

regular, I'm a gritty dude, which I

8:01

like. And I think leading by example

8:03

in that sense, I think is really

8:05

refreshing for wellness. Because a lot of

8:08

times wellness is kind of co-opted and

8:10

we use a lot of fancy words

8:12

and it kind of removes itself

8:14

from life a little bit. Whereas

8:17

wellness and mental health and mindfulness is

8:19

all about arriving in

8:21

life. Not removing yourself from life, but like figuring

8:23

out how to do your best there. So anyway,

8:25

with that being said, super excited to talk to

8:27

you in particular. So I think

8:29

there's going to be a level of relatability here that

8:32

is sometimes lacking. With that

8:34

being said, I'd love if just from your own

8:36

words, if you could introduce yourself and

8:38

then we'll go a little bit deeper. Cool.

8:40

Yeah. Jimmy Queen, 34 years

8:43

old, Orange County, born

8:45

and raised, been here my whole life in

8:48

Huntington Beach. Like

8:50

you said, dude, kind of just your everyday guy.

8:54

Started a family super young. Down

8:57

here, like the thing that was presented to

8:59

me in my first opportunity to really jump

9:01

in the blue collar world was in the

9:03

oil fields in Huntington. So that's kind of

9:05

where I kick started my whole career and

9:07

that whole industry, oil and

9:09

gas right here at home, which no better

9:11

place to do it. So yeah,

9:14

man, that was kind of the kickstart to my whole

9:16

career, my whole life and kind of set me on

9:18

the path of where I am today. Talk

9:21

to me a little bit about that. What was it? What was it

9:23

like working in oil and gas? Talk

9:25

to me a little bit about your days. What did those

9:27

look like? Just so people know. Dude,

9:30

well, first of all, it was super

9:32

intimidating. I didn't grow up with the

9:34

background of tools and heavy

9:36

equipment and everything else. I grew up

9:38

surfing and playing sports. So that was,

9:41

dude, I jumped into a whole different

9:43

world, super intimidating. You're

9:46

dealing with guys that have done it their whole

9:48

life and they're kind

9:50

of not your everyday guy. They're kind of like the

9:53

tough as they get guys. But

9:55

yeah, it was

9:57

definitely a culture shock for me. super

10:00

long hours, you don't really,

10:02

your day's not done until the work's done.

10:05

So being really young,

10:07

it was hard to make

10:09

that mind shift. I

10:12

didn't really know what to expect until I jumped

10:14

in it. I don't think anyone could really know

10:16

what to expect until they get into it.

10:18

So you're pretty much

10:20

on call seven days a week. Like

10:23

I said, the work's not done until

10:26

you're not going home until the work's done.

10:28

So long days, a lot

10:30

of labor, going into

10:33

the nights, you know, hard to communicate with

10:36

the family and the wife because they're jamming

10:38

you up if you're going to be home.

10:40

You don't even know if you're going to

10:42

be home. So it's really

10:45

just like a day to day thing. And

10:47

you kind of get used to that. And

10:50

it becomes part of your everyday

10:52

normal. But yeah,

10:54

it's long hours, a

10:56

lot of work. Yeah, I bet. Yeah,

10:59

it doesn't sound like a typical office nine

11:02

to five in any sense. What

11:07

about this? So you described

11:09

the guys who work there

11:11

as like really tough. I'm curious for you, like

11:13

what is toughness? Like

11:16

what does being a tough man mean to

11:18

you now or then

11:20

or how is it evolved? I'm curious, like what

11:22

is your definition there? Because I feel it's an

11:24

important topic and it will segue nicely into some

11:26

of our other topics here. It's like toughness, strength.

11:29

I feel like a lot of people approach

11:31

those topics from a perspective of you appear

11:33

tough, but you're not actually tough. You appear

11:35

strong, but you're not actually strong. So I'd

11:38

love you. Like what does being tough mean?

11:40

Well, that answer me answering that today would

11:42

be a lot different than me probably answering

11:44

that like 14 years ago, you know,

11:46

so like growing up as

11:48

a kid, I looked at tough as

11:50

maybe like your appearance, your attitude, if

11:54

you could fight and things like that,

11:57

you know, especially growing up in Orange

11:59

County. Like I always looked up to

12:01

guys that to me appeared tough and

12:04

they were kind of scrappers or they were the

12:06

guys that surfed the pier and they fought or

12:08

the guys at work that were like tattooed

12:11

and big and they were willing to fight you

12:13

on the job site. And

12:16

that was, that to me was tough

12:18

for a long time. And then you kind of come

12:20

to find out and as you grow and as you

12:22

mature and you spend more time in the trades, really

12:24

what a man really is is being able to be

12:26

vulnerable. That is a

12:28

lot harder to do than put on

12:30

an act or to throw your fist,

12:33

you know, like being open, being honest,

12:35

being vulnerable, that takes a

12:37

lot more courage. That takes a

12:39

lot more strength than

12:41

most people know. I

12:44

didn't really find that out until I

12:46

kind of jumped into sobriety because it

12:48

really strips away everything from you. And

12:51

you strip away those vices. You kind

12:53

of really have to just be you

12:56

and that you're vulnerable, authentic

12:58

self, man. And as

13:00

I kind of learned that, I met other

13:02

guys in the trade that were sober and

13:05

they were open with me and vulnerable with

13:07

me. It really kind of helped me grow

13:09

into who I am today. And yeah, so

13:11

for me, being a man, being tough is

13:14

really being able to lead by example, being

13:16

your authentic self, being able to be vulnerable

13:18

and open and share your experiences with the

13:21

people around you. And that's how

13:23

you learn. And that's how you teach other people,

13:25

you know? So that

13:27

for me, that answer has evolved over time,

13:29

but I would say that's where I'm at

13:31

today. Yeah, well, I love that because that's

13:33

what I anticipated to hear. And it's so

13:36

true. I'm curious for you, like,

13:38

why do you think some men, let's

13:40

talk about men. Like, why do you think some men

13:43

aren't vulnerable? Like, what is getting in the way? It

13:45

sounds like alcohol, for one, gets in the way. Is

13:48

there anything else that gets in the way? Is

13:50

it like expectations of like what it means to

13:52

be a man and a man's man isn't vulnerable?

13:54

Like, why do you think a lot of men

13:56

aren't tough in the sense that

13:58

you're defining now? Is it immature? Is

14:00

it something else? Like what gets in

14:02

the way of men being willing to

14:05

have vulnerable, honest conversations

14:07

and be open about themselves? I

14:09

think the world just naturally by design as

14:12

a man, you think you just have to

14:14

be the leader and the provider. And

14:17

it's hard to showcase when you're struggling,

14:19

you know, because you have maybe

14:21

a family that looks up to you.

14:23

But then also, I think for some

14:26

of the older generations, that just wasn't

14:28

talked about. You didn't talk about your

14:30

feelings. You didn't talk about your struggles.

14:32

You showed up, you did the

14:34

work, you put your head down and you just

14:36

did it. And like a lot of

14:39

the guys that came before me, that was just the

14:41

way they were brought up. And

14:43

I've had those conversations with them before, you know,

14:46

and like it's

14:48

kind of in a way, it's good because that

14:50

generation is it. They're kind

14:52

of fading out. And now I

14:55

think that's why it's so important for the guys

14:57

in the trades now to really like keep

15:00

it going and be open and talk to

15:02

the younger ones coming in because there needs

15:04

to be a shift, you know, the

15:07

people that that do stay silent

15:10

struggle. And when

15:12

you aren't able to be

15:15

open with the guys you work with, like,

15:17

for me, when you're spending as much time

15:19

at work, I

15:21

spend more time at work than I do at home. So

15:24

those guys become family. And at the

15:26

same time, like, depending on your job

15:29

and profession, like, my life is

15:31

in their hands and their lives are in my

15:33

hands. So to be on

15:35

that level with someone and be that personal and

15:37

to need that level of trust, if

15:39

you can trust them with your life, you should be able to trust

15:41

them with your words. You know what I mean,

15:44

you should be able to connect with them and talk

15:46

to them about these situations going on. And at the

15:48

same time, like, when you are showing

15:50

up to work every day and it is a dangerous

15:52

job and you do have some really heavy stuff on

15:54

your mind, you need to be

15:56

able to have that outlook, that out, be

15:58

able to like get that out there so

16:01

you could focus on the job at hand.

16:03

Yeah, well, thanks for pushing

16:05

that message. I think it's really needed.

16:07

And yeah, my work over

16:09

the past couple months of working with Purpose

16:11

Belt and a

16:13

group called Project Healthy Minds about supplying

16:16

mental health resources to all communities, but

16:18

particularly blue collar, it's so interesting to

16:20

me because in talking

16:23

to people who are in the trades,

16:25

it's like the word that keeps coming

16:27

to mind is grit, like gritty people

16:29

in the sense of resilience, some toughness,

16:32

some strength, just like pride in their

16:34

work, like really great qualities.

16:36

Right. And it was, is interesting to me

16:39

as I have more of these conversations

16:41

and talk to people and learn, you

16:43

know, it's interesting that you could have these

16:46

people who are so resilient and tough and

16:48

gritty, which are great qualities because so

16:50

many people are not those things and

16:53

they're soft and they give up and

16:55

all these things. But then at the

16:57

same time, they don't have the vulnerability

16:59

to balance it. So I think it's

17:01

a topic that needs to be pushed

17:03

and appreciate you doing that. Speaking

17:07

of that resilience,

17:09

I think that's, and

17:12

talking about like mental resilience, emotional

17:15

resilience. You know, I'd love

17:17

for you, you had

17:20

a quote that I saw you wrote and you were talking

17:22

on Instagram, you said that all the

17:24

challenges we face strengthen us

17:26

to overcome the next one. You

17:29

know, you strike me as a particularly

17:31

resilient guy and I know you've overcome

17:33

a lot, including, you know, alcohol

17:36

and sobriety and, you know, having a child

17:38

at a young age. I'd

17:41

love if you'd share a little bit about maybe

17:43

a challenge or two that you've overcome and kind

17:45

of what it's taught you about your ability to

17:48

be strong. I think the quote that I think

17:50

about is sometimes in life, you

17:52

don't know how strong you are until you have to

17:54

be strong. And I'm sure

17:56

that's something you can relate to. So I'd love just to give

17:58

you the floor and talk a bit about anything

18:00

that strikes you in your life that you

18:03

overcame and that proved to you how capable

18:05

you are and everyone is of being strong,

18:07

resilient, and gritty. Chris Bounds 100%. You know,

18:09

I mean, we're going to be faced with

18:11

challenges every day. And we got to learn

18:13

from them. The timing for me just couldn't

18:16

have been better. Like when I decided to

18:18

get sober, things in my life got a

18:20

whole lot harder, harder before they got easier.

18:22

So I knew it was

18:24

time I made that decision. I got sober,

18:26

man. And what came

18:28

following that was a whole set

18:30

of challenges. My wife happened to

18:33

need was struggling more than

18:35

I thought she was. And, man,

18:38

really, our lives kind of imploded. She

18:40

needed to check herself in and go

18:42

to rehab. And for me, it was

18:44

like, I was already overwhelmed with life

18:46

in general, trying to provide for my

18:48

kids, provide for her, like, create this

18:51

life and home and everything else. And

18:53

I was working 80 to 100 hours a week.

18:56

And then all of a sudden, I lost like my

18:58

number one teammate, you know, she ended

19:00

up going to rehab. I

19:02

didn't think I could tackle it by

19:04

myself. And honestly, I did need help.

19:07

And the thing was about that, that

19:09

taught me so much about vulnerability, like

19:11

vulnerability, because I did keep

19:13

a lot of things in I, I always

19:15

had guys coming to me for help. But

19:18

what I wasn't doing enough was reaching out

19:20

for help myself. I had to reach out

19:22

to, to friends and family. And I had

19:24

to reach out to guys at work, I kind of had,

19:27

I was put in a position where it

19:29

was like sink or swim. So I lost

19:31

my number one teammate for a few months,

19:33

she needed to work on herself and get

19:35

healthy, which left me now working 80 to

19:37

100 hours a week plus dealing

19:40

with the kids and, and finding spots

19:43

for them to go while I was at work. So

19:45

I told the guys what was going

19:47

on at work. I did, I just

19:50

couldn't hold it all in, you know,

19:52

I was, I remember being like driving

19:54

to work emotionally, like breaking down, dealing

19:57

with way more than one emotion,

19:59

like like anger and sadness and

20:01

frustration. And I mean, honestly, dude,

20:04

it was everything all at once for me. So

20:06

dude, opening up to them, kind of letting them know

20:08

where my head space was at. And I was willing

20:11

to do the work with them and still work alongside

20:13

them. But I just wanted those guys to know where

20:15

I was at. But it was crazy

20:17

because I didn't think I could handle it all. And

20:20

I just approached each day as it

20:22

came and it

20:25

got a little bit better and a little bit easier.

20:28

And people were aware of what I

20:30

was dealing with and people understood it. And

20:32

the crazy part is, is you always think

20:35

you're in, like when you're in, you're put

20:37

in a situation, especially

20:39

one like I wasn't, you feel super alone. You don't

20:41

really understand why you're going through what you're going through.

20:43

You don't think anyone else has gone through what you're

20:45

going through. And then you start

20:47

kind of sharing your story with other guys and you

20:50

come to find out that there's

20:52

a lot of people, maybe they haven't been through

20:54

the same exact experience, but they

20:56

could definitely relate, you know? And

20:59

I was blessed enough to be given a lot of

21:01

great insight and great advice from the people I was

21:04

surrounded by. And a lot of them were the guys

21:06

that work. They've worked the hours that I have. They're

21:08

doing it with me. And a lot of them were

21:10

older and a lot of them have gone through like

21:12

a lot of hardships, you know? So I

21:15

took their guidance. I took their advice,

21:18

kept going one day at a time, man. And

21:20

honestly, it was, I was super

21:22

fortunate. Every day I got a little bit stronger.

21:24

And not only did it

21:27

benefit me, but it put me in a

21:29

position where I learned a lot to where

21:31

I started to be able to help others,

21:34

you know? Like my sobriety started not

21:36

too long before my wife's and then she needed

21:38

the help. And then honestly, what followed that was

21:40

I was in a position where I was able

21:43

to really help a lot of other people start

21:45

their sobriety journey. So, I

21:48

mean, that's kind of like a bigger

21:50

situation in life for me, but

21:52

there's so many little ones each and every day. I

21:54

think we're faced with these

21:56

small challenges dude every day. And honestly, the

21:58

like... the smallest one

22:00

could be getting up early, you know

22:02

what I mean? And most people, that

22:05

could be a challenge for someone or

22:07

it could be starting to exercise, but

22:09

you build off of those, you build yourself up.

22:12

Those little tiny wins really start stacking up in

22:14

a big wins and they really do make you

22:16

more resilient to fight anything else you go like

22:18

you face in life. Hey,

22:21

real quick, this show is sponsored by

22:23

BetterHelp. And one of my goals this

22:25

year is to go slower. It's

22:28

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22:34

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23:27

Oh, watch your step. Wow, your attic

23:30

is so dark. Dark? I

23:32

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require extenders at additional charge. That's

23:57

perfect, man. I appreciate you sharing that. Cause it's... Yeah,

23:59

I've got a couple follow-up questions. I mean, I think

24:02

the thing for me is like I'm a man and

24:04

I always was pretty closed off in my 20s. I'm

24:06

36 and You

24:09

know, I think one of the things that's helped

24:11

me open up which I love to ask you

24:13

as well It's like, you know as men like

24:15

we're proud like we want to be proud of

24:18

ourselves We want to present ourselves as you know

24:20

confident proud guys I

24:22

think the thing that really changed for me is you

24:24

talk about doing little things like getting up early or

24:26

you know having conversations with that open you up and

24:28

stuff like that like I Made

24:31

it my goal to do those things and when I

24:33

did them I was proud of myself Like those are

24:35

the things that made me proud of myself doing the

24:37

small things being honest with other people not lying not

24:40

You know saying I'm okay when I'm not

24:42

like I switched it so that I'm proud

24:44

for doing those things as opposed to only

24:46

being Proud if I didn't need to do

24:48

those things right? So I think that's really

24:51

helped me And like

24:53

shift my perspective where it's like that fuels my

24:55

sense of like masculinity. I want to be a

24:57

proud tough guy I want to be resilient I

25:00

want to do these things and like now I

25:02

add those to the list of things that make

25:04

me proud Being honest with my

25:06

my three best friends Jack

25:09

I'm proud of that. I'm proud of talking to my girlfriend

25:11

and saying hey, you know, I'm just a little upset about

25:13

something today I'm proud of that as opposed to being

25:16

mean to her and letting it stew, you know, so

25:18

I'm curious for you like Are

25:20

you are you like are you proud of yourself

25:22

and like what what things make you proud of

25:24

yourself and make you Fulfilled in that sense if

25:26

you have any off the top of your head.

25:29

Yeah, I mean dude I think I think applying

25:31

that structure every day some of the points you

25:34

just brought up like Having little

25:36

goals set each and every day Getting

25:39

up early starting your day off with some

25:41

exercise or a healthy meal Getting

25:43

a work putting putting in your full effort at

25:45

work providing for

25:48

your family Dude like

25:50

and when you brought up

25:52

it sounds so simple and it's not

25:54

communicating whether it's with your friends family

25:56

your spouse Dude communication is

25:58

not easy easy for

26:00

everybody. And it's something when you start to

26:02

do it, you, you do become proud of

26:05

that, because it is, it isn't always

26:08

easy. There's those hard conversations no one

26:10

wants to have sometimes something

26:12

does make you upset and you're you might

26:14

fear to say it out loud, because you're

26:16

not sure how the person is going to

26:18

like respond to that, you know, so yeah,

26:21

I mean, at the end of the day,

26:23

at the end of the day, I'm

26:25

really proud of just like who I try to be,

26:27

which is open and honest and disciplined

26:29

and structured, you know, like I think

26:31

if you live your

26:33

life a certain way, you want to lead

26:35

by example. So for me, it's it's simple,

26:38

like, it's getting up early. I love

26:40

to work out in the morning, it starts my day off

26:42

with the win. Show

26:44

up to work, put in my full effort at

26:47

work. And following that is

26:49

going to be like, when all that said and

26:51

done, it's being a husband and a father, you

26:53

know, and for me, fulfillment just comes from, from

26:56

doing my best in everything I do, you know,

26:58

it big or small. Regardless

27:01

of what it is, I just like to

27:03

give it my all. What about

27:05

the flip side to that when we're

27:07

unwilling to even try, we're unwilling to

27:09

give it our all. You had a

27:12

quote that I actually really, really like

27:14

it's so simple and poignant that failures

27:16

when you're not willing to even try,

27:18

I think is what you said. And

27:20

I was like, man, that's so dope.

27:22

Because, you know, so often we think

27:24

of, you know, failures is, you

27:27

know, need, you know, failure,

27:29

any definition that just that keeps

27:31

us in place and prevents us

27:33

from, you know, even even trying.

27:37

I love to talk a little bit about that. I think

27:39

sometimes like men in particular, we think failure is when you

27:41

need help. Failure is when you have

27:43

to have a conversation. Failure is when you need to

27:45

take a break. Failure is when, you know, x, y,

27:48

z. Talk to me a

27:50

little bit about how you overcome mindsets

27:52

like that. And talk to me a little

27:54

bit about just being willing to try and

27:56

how you I think for myself

27:58

and men, women, everybody. one, like one of the reasons

28:01

we don't try is we don't

28:03

want to seem like a beginner, right? For

28:05

your example of working in, in oil, like

28:07

you were a beginner there with all these

28:09

tough guys. So like being willing to do

28:12

that, being willing to look

28:14

silly, being willing to embarrass yourself, uh,

28:16

being willing to start over like

28:19

sobriety is a big reset starting over in

28:21

that sense. So talk to him a little

28:23

bit about failure and mindsets around it. Yeah,

28:26

I mean, dude, there's, there's so many different points

28:28

in my life where I could

28:31

look at, I could have looked at it as a

28:33

failure and it never even was, um, to

28:36

start off jumping into oil and gas.

28:39

Um, I was, I was so

28:41

intimidated. Um, but you have, you're going to

28:43

look, you're, you're new, you're not going to

28:45

know everything. You might look dumb, whatever, however

28:47

you want to take it. You got to

28:50

try, you know what I mean? And, and

28:52

that's what I did. I wasn't the best.

28:54

Nobody's the best in the beginning. And you

28:56

just, you just show up every day just

28:58

by showing up every day you're doing, you're

29:00

doing good. And you start to

29:02

learn a little bit more every day and you

29:04

continue on. And that's, that's kind of like how

29:06

my career started. Cause it started in oil and

29:09

gas. And then the next step was like getting

29:11

my commercial driver's license and then jumping into the

29:13

crane industry, which eventually led me to the union

29:15

and everything else. And when I had gotten to

29:17

the union, dude, I thought I had knew some

29:20

stuff about cranes, but I was dealing with guys

29:22

that have been in the trades 20,

29:25

30 years that have been on every type

29:27

of crane, every piece of equipment. And dude,

29:30

it's super intimidating. But like you said, you,

29:32

you have to be willing to try. Um,

29:34

and even along that, like outside

29:37

of even the trades, man, there's so many

29:39

guys that are so skilled and so talented,

29:41

like you never have to limit who you

29:43

are. It doesn't matter what your main job

29:45

is. Um, there was a lot of

29:47

things along the way that I was scared to try. Um,

29:50

while I was working my main job and

29:53

it was things of like starting a clothing

29:55

company or starting my fitness journey and everything

29:57

else. I was just, I

29:59

was scared. to put myself out there. And to me

30:02

that that was a huge failure. And I started changing

30:04

my mindset to just really not care

30:07

how people would look at me, you know, especially

30:10

when you start exposing your stuff yourself

30:13

to like social media, including yourself on

30:15

a platform like you do. It's

30:17

it's intimidating, dude, because you're exposing

30:19

yourself to pretty much the whole

30:21

world now. And the

30:24

thing is, at the end of the day, the only

30:27

to me, the only way you're ever going to

30:29

fail is if you just never even try. So

30:31

like, I just slowly started putting things out there.

30:35

For me, with was

30:37

was with training and coaching people and getting them

30:39

started in their fitness journey. I had no idea

30:41

how people were going to respond to it. I

30:43

knew I was just at a point in my

30:45

life where I had already

30:48

overcome so much. And I was so I

30:50

had finally decided to just be

30:52

really confident in who I am. And I

30:56

knew I had to do it. So that

30:58

that was like a huge step for me.

31:00

And dude, people responded really well. And it's

31:02

so funny, because there was years where I

31:04

wanted to do this sooner. And

31:07

I was just scared, you know, I was

31:10

scared out people would respond or not respond

31:12

and just kind of go unnoticed. And my

31:15

own fear of rejection or not being

31:17

noticed kind of was hindering my growth

31:20

the whole time. The only the only

31:22

person that was keeping me ever from

31:24

succeeding was myself, you know, and that

31:26

mindset, that mindset, when that shifted, it

31:29

shifted everything. And I really just started

31:31

realizing how capable I am. I'm honestly,

31:34

I don't, I'm capable of doing anything. I

31:36

think everybody is. Yeah, yeah,

31:38

I couldn't agree more. I mean, so

31:40

much good stuff in there, particularly around

31:42

comparing yourself to other people as well.

31:44

One of the things I've seen you

31:46

talk about, you know, you call it a one day

31:48

at a time mindset, which I think is so important,

31:51

because you talk about like, being willing to try new

31:53

things being willing to fail. I think

31:56

one of the big reasons that we often aren't

31:58

willing to try is because we're stuck in the

32:00

past where maybe we did try and we failed

32:02

and it really hurt and we're embarrassed, whatever, or

32:05

we're stuck in the future where we're just ruminating.

32:07

We're, we're playing your future. Right. So we're like,

32:09

we're in one or the other and we can't

32:11

be in the present. Talk to

32:13

me a little bit about one day at a time mindset.

32:16

Like how do you actually get you in place? Where it's

32:18

just one day at a time. Today I'm here today. Tomorrow

32:20

I'll be tomorrow. I'm not ahead of that. I'm not behind

32:22

that. I'm just doing, I'm just, I'm just doing, I'm doing

32:24

and doing. How does that motivate you one

32:26

day at a time? One day at a time is

32:28

just something that you really, you really have to take

32:30

that approach when you enter sobriety. Um, that's

32:33

just something they teach you. And

32:35

there's a few reasons behind that

32:37

because when you do enter sobriety, it

32:39

is, there's a lot of challenges you're going to be

32:41

faced with a lot of new emotions. You

32:44

can't future trip because if

32:47

you start looking too far down the line, you're

32:49

going to get way overwhelmed. Um, and I tell,

32:51

I tell all my clients that I work with

32:53

as well. It's the same with fitness. When

32:55

you first start your fitness journey, dude, you're going to

32:57

be struggling. You're going to be having a hard time.

32:59

You're going to be weak. These workouts are

33:01

going to be hard. You can't

33:03

get discouraged. You can't look so far down

33:06

the line. It's great to have a goal

33:08

set, but you just need to tackle the

33:10

small challenges day by day. So really just

33:12

your approach of one day at a time

33:14

is just focusing on a day. Getting

33:17

through those set of challenges. Going

33:19

into the next day, you're going to be a

33:21

little bit stronger and you build

33:24

off that. You keep building off that momentum.

33:26

And as time goes on, you

33:28

look back and go, Oh my God, dude,

33:30

it's been three months. I've built

33:32

this discipline and structure kind of

33:35

unknowingly. And I've grown

33:37

so much and didn't even realize it. So,

33:40

you know, like to me, to me, I

33:42

love to bring up fitness and I love to

33:44

bring up sobriety, because they really do run parallel

33:46

for me in my life. Um, one

33:48

day at a time approach is really like

33:51

the best way to go about them both.

33:53

And they fall hand in hand. So like

33:55

I said, a lot of people, future trip,

33:57

they, they really want something so bad. so

34:00

stuck on on the end game,

34:02

but you just really have to

34:04

kind of chop it up into

34:06

pieces those goals. So if

34:08

it's fitness, you got to focus

34:10

on just the diet focus on

34:12

those exercises. And

34:14

as time goes on, you really do start

34:16

to get stronger, it really does start to

34:19

get easier. All of a

34:21

sudden, you fall on that routine

34:23

waking up at 5am is in as hard as

34:25

it was three months ago. And

34:27

when you're sober, you're not you're not kind

34:30

of looking at your watch going, man, I

34:32

haven't had a drink in four hours. It's

34:34

been three months. And it's, it's not that

34:36

it's not a struggle anymore. It's just not

34:39

on your mind the entire time. Yeah,

34:41

I love that. I mean, yeah, momentum is a

34:44

heck of a thing that I think we really

34:46

discount in life. Like we just we just want

34:48

to skip ahead. And we don't

34:50

realize that little things really, really do add

34:52

up and they add up in in big

34:54

ways as far as outcomes, but they also

34:56

add up and giving you confidence, like confidence

34:59

comes from evidence. And you're like, Oh, I've

35:01

been sober for two months now, or six

35:03

days now, like, it just it's that that

35:05

rolling snowball. Why don't we maybe

35:08

like two more questions? Well, I'm speaking

35:10

of like confidence. Talk

35:13

to me a little bit about ego. This is

35:15

a word that

35:17

I think it's a bad rap, but

35:20

also deservedly so sometimes, like we think about

35:22

men, I think a lot of times when

35:24

people talk about men, they're like, Oh, men

35:26

are so ego driven, like masculinity and ego.

35:28

It's one and the same, like men are

35:30

just so full of themselves, this, that and

35:32

the other. And now that we're kind of

35:35

unwrapping the idea of strength, we could say that, well,

35:37

you know, you know, false ego

35:39

is really weakness. It's not strength. Talk

35:42

to me a little bit about like good ego, and

35:45

bad ego. This is a topic I love

35:47

to talk about, because I'm all about like

35:49

confidence, I'm all about like a little bit

35:51

of swagger holding yourself and knowing what you're

35:53

worth and being respectful, but like, not

35:55

taking any crap from from life and

35:58

from people. And I think that's a good ego that's says,

36:00

I can be a beginner, I can embarrass

36:03

myself, but I'll be fine, because I know

36:05

who I am. That's good ego. And then

36:07

of course, there's the bad ego, which perhaps

36:09

says, well, I'm better than this or better

36:11

than that. To give you the floor to

36:13

talk about ego in your own words. Yeah,

36:15

I mean, I think there's definitely two sides

36:18

to ego, you know, you should carry yourself

36:20

to where you are confident, your ego can

36:22

drive you and push you beyond

36:24

your expectations to accomplish

36:27

a lot of great things in life, you know,

36:30

your ego could get you, you could,

36:32

your ego could put you on a platform or

36:34

a pedestal where you really do push yourself. And

36:36

that's great, you want to challenge yourself, you do

36:38

want to be confident and enough in

36:40

yourself to, to really do

36:42

anything, you know, like, we

36:45

talked about momentum, you know, like when you

36:47

start building that momentum, you start

36:49

to realize you're capable of anything. And that ego

36:51

could feel that in a great way. The problem

36:53

with ego is when you believe you're better,

36:57

or maybe you're too prideful to say,

36:59

you know what, cases, cases

37:01

way is probably better. But I'm too

37:03

egotistical to put, like myself and say,

37:06

dude, we should have just done it

37:08

your way. But now I'm letting my

37:10

pride get in the way. I'm letting

37:12

my ego get in the way. Now

37:14

I'm making irrational decisions. I'm making like

37:17

mistakes, because I'm too prideful to just

37:19

put my ego aside, you know, so

37:21

you just have to check yourself because

37:23

it will, you will get

37:25

humbled, you know what I mean. And that

37:28

and that follows in everything alive. But you

37:30

do need you do want to have an

37:32

ego, like you said, you should hold your

37:34

head up high, you should believe in yourself,

37:36

you do need to carry that confidence. It's

37:39

just knowing when you're wrong, or knowing when

37:41

there, there are other ways to do things

37:43

and going, you know what, even

37:45

if I think I am right right now, and my ego

37:47

is telling me to do it this way, I

37:50

should still listen to the people around me and

37:52

hear what they have to say and

37:55

try, try other things because that's how

37:57

you learn. Yeah, yeah, I've always always

38:00

I've always thought, but I really evolved lately.

38:03

The strongest men I know are also

38:06

the most humble because humble

38:08

strength is just such a force. It's

38:11

where you're just so

38:13

confident in yourself and your ability,

38:15

but you also listen, you're also

38:17

open, you're honest. That's

38:19

the mix that I think men really need to strive

38:21

for. It's like, know your worth, be confident in yourself,

38:24

but also just be humble about it. I think a lot

38:26

of men miss that mark because they think you've

38:29

got to be the loudest in the room because that

38:31

means you're the strongest. I think we both disagree with

38:33

that. Yeah. Yeah.

38:36

Yeah. Yeah. Well,

38:38

dude, this is awesome. These are the

38:41

conversations I love because we're not using

38:43

therapy language, we're using regular language. Why

38:46

don't we tell me a little bit about what you're

38:48

involved in now? You're doing the fitness training for clients.

38:52

What's on your plate? Yeah,

38:54

man. Pretty

38:56

much. I've been diving super hard into that.

38:59

It's been super humbling. It's

39:01

been super rewarding. It's

39:04

made me grow as a person, dude, to be

39:06

honest with you. I have these conversations with people

39:08

that put a lot of trust into me. They're

39:11

telling me where they're at in their life

39:13

and how I've inspired them. It's

39:15

crazy. Sometimes when you talk

39:17

to someone that you don't really know and that's not involved

39:19

in your life, they're able to open up more. I

39:23

take great pride in that and responsibility

39:25

in that. I'm having people reach out

39:27

to me that some of

39:30

them are just a little bit lost and

39:32

need some direction and need a little bit

39:34

of advice on how to start applying that

39:37

everyday discipline into their life because they

39:39

want to be the best versions of themselves. Like

39:43

I said, I take massive

39:45

pride in that and getting

39:47

them started. Some people just

39:49

want to sharpen iron with iron. Maybe

39:52

they just want to improve. That's another

39:54

thing that's great too. That's

39:56

another talk about being humble and ego

39:58

is I have some guys. on that

40:00

I train and on my team

40:02

that are in great shape, but they just

40:04

want to be the best versions of themselves

40:06

and they put their ego aside. And even

40:08

though they have a lot of experience, they're

40:10

still reaching out to me. And that's what

40:12

that's where you get that's where you grow,

40:14

you know, you got to be able to

40:16

open up to people, you always need to

40:18

be willing to learn. I think that's such

40:20

a great thing with fitness, especially the trade

40:22

I'm in, and the trade, the crane industry.

40:25

The second you think you've you know, it

40:27

all is the end. Because there's always room

40:29

for growth. There's always room to learn, you're

40:31

always going to be able to learn from

40:33

the guy next to you as long as

40:35

you're willing to listen. Yeah, love

40:37

that man. So good. And so true, you

40:40

know, about the learning and listening. And

40:42

I think in the context of

40:44

our conversation, about speaking up about

40:46

being honest about not being afraid

40:48

to try and to fail,

40:50

and to speak your mind and to find

40:53

power and vulnerability. So thank you for being

40:55

here, Jimmy. And if you're listening, be sure

40:57

to support Jimmy at Jimmy Queen on Instagram,

40:59

and also be sure to support purpose belt.

41:02

I put the link in

41:04

the description of this episode to their mental

41:06

health awareness page where you can support the

41:08

mission. And 50% of all

41:10

proceeds will benefit Project Healthy Minds,

41:13

their development of the world's first digital

41:15

mental health marketplace that aims to make

41:17

access to life changing services and care

41:19

easier. But that is it. I hope

41:21

this episode gave you something to think

41:23

about, gave you some new perspective. If

41:25

it did, please share it with a

41:27

friend, just send them the link to

41:29

Apple Podcast or to Spotify. But

41:32

that's it. As always, thank you so much

41:34

for listening. Thank you for supporting me. And

41:36

until next episode, I'm out. Transcribed

41:51

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