Episode Transcript
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0:00
This is a Glassbox Media Podcast.
0:06
This episode is brought to you by Bumble,
0:08
who says Valentine's Day is just for couples.
0:11
Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't
0:13
mean you can't get out there and live
0:15
your best love life. That's where Bumble comes
0:17
in. This February 14th, you
0:19
can flip the script and give
0:21
those relationshipers a friendly dose of
0:24
FOMO. Say no to staying in
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this Valentine's Day and yes to
0:28
more. More dates, more first kisses,
0:30
more gossip for the group chat,
0:32
girlies. Do Valentine's your way. Date
0:34
now on Bumble. Three,
0:42
two, one. Alright,
0:47
now it's time to get started. Unless anybody
0:49
has any business before I do
0:52
my intro, I think
0:54
I'll just go straight to the intro this week and
0:56
skip the cold open. Let's
0:58
do that. No, I don't
1:01
believe you for a minute. You don't mean that. I'm
1:06
like Charlie Brown with the football right here. Here's
1:09
the thing. Here's
1:11
the idea. You know,
1:13
like if you had a documentary crew
1:15
following you around and so pretty soon
1:17
you would not be
1:19
aware of the documentary crew, you would just
1:21
be doing your own thing. Your
1:24
own natural thing. That is like, you
1:26
know, normally we sit down, we cue
1:29
in, we see each other and we
1:31
kind of have a little conversation and
1:33
then we go, let's record. It's
1:36
that little conversation that I mean
1:38
the peek behind the curtain for
1:40
people to see. So
1:42
we ruin it every single week by talking
1:44
about it. I was hoping
1:46
you would define it again in this
1:48
episode because that's something that you
1:50
really never... You guys don't seem to
1:52
be getting it. You've never really shed any light
1:54
on that. Well you've never really explained it. No, no, no,
1:57
now I get it. That's the thing. You've never...
1:59
No, it's like... And then once we go,
2:01
okay, should we record? There's just, I think the
2:03
sense of, all right, we're doing this for
2:05
other people. Oh, I see. So
2:07
you wanted it to be just the kind of
2:09
stuff that we were talking about before we went
2:13
on? Oh, so Paula, has that cleared up
2:15
yet or is it still like red and
2:17
oozing? No, it's still oozing. It's still really
2:20
oozing. And I
2:22
wasn't going to say that. No, no, in front of people. No,
2:24
it's just bursting. No, no. But
2:26
yeah, no. I think
2:28
it's okay. Do you see
2:31
this little bit of green? Yeah, the green and
2:33
yellow flesh. Is that supposed to? No, I was
2:35
Googling it. And that is just you should really
2:38
have that looked at. Well, you
2:40
know, I know it. We've
2:45
had a lot of flies in the house. And
2:47
can you see here with a magnet? Yeah,
2:49
yeah, yeah. And that shouldn't have been on
2:51
your body. Okay. Yeah.
2:54
No, it can be. What?
2:59
This is what we were talking about before we started
3:01
recording. This is what Bonnie won. Yeah.
3:04
Yeah. Do
3:06
you mind filling everybody in on your cross
3:08
game? I think it's because
3:10
I've been biking so much, but it's just
3:13
kind of big now. You know what I
3:15
mean? I was wondering what it was, but
3:17
I thought it was like maybe a third
3:19
ball, just kind of like up behind the
3:21
other two. Yeah. Well, thanks
3:23
for showing it to us because I think that. Yeah.
3:26
Take it off. Take it off the look.
3:28
All right. Yeah. Wait
3:32
a minute, Adam. My phone's ringing and I think
3:34
it's this doctor. I
3:41
just took a picture and sent it to him. Yeah.
3:46
He says, hold it. Wait. He
3:48
just texted me. He says it shouldn't
3:50
look like that. So I told you
3:52
that. Yeah. He says, where
3:54
were you riding your bike? They may need
3:57
to put caution tape around that area. who's
4:00
gonna go there but okay. Yeah hold on
4:02
a second I gotta just mop my leg.
4:06
Hey don't let the cat lick it don't let the cat lick
4:08
it that's not good for you. Oh no
4:11
their mouths are very clean. No that's dog's
4:13
mouths that are clean. And that's not even
4:15
really true. Yeah no
4:17
they are. Okay here's my theory.
4:19
So whatever it is that we
4:21
just happened to say before we officially
4:23
start the show that's what it is and
4:26
then we start the show. Well
4:29
mission accomplished. Yeah that was. Tony
4:36
I just want to say the Botox you had.
4:38
Yeah there's a little puffiness
4:42
around the eyes but I don't
4:44
think that's anything to worry about.
4:46
Really good. Yeah I think that's
4:48
gonna help. Search for a husband?
4:53
Yeah yeah
4:55
Tony Tony's
4:58
becoming Sally
5:00
Rogers. And let me just
5:02
say this you're welcome Bonnie here we go.
5:18
Coming to you live from our
5:20
house in Los Angeles California this
5:23
is nobody listens to ball of
5:25
pound stone your comedy field guide
5:27
to life. Tonight another week another
5:29
guest bailing due to an emergency.
5:33
Oh 2024 you definitely seem like a worthy
5:35
successor to 2023. But what do
5:39
you do when you get left at the altar?
5:42
You talk about it we share
5:44
our best dating nightmares in a
5:46
lively round of a segment we're
5:48
calling love gone bad. And then
5:51
maybe we can't fix our former
5:53
loved one but you sure believe
5:55
you can fix us. It's
5:57
time for Mailbag. I'm
6:09
Adam Silver. This shows Love Lord
6:11
John to Sex Tapes standing in
6:14
the rain, outside the window of
6:16
common sense, holding aloft a boombox
6:18
blaring reading of Robert's Rules of
6:20
Order. And now
6:22
please welcome the podcast equivalent
6:24
of everyone's manic pixie Dream
6:27
Girl is Paula Poundstone. Welcome
6:33
Bowl I. Say. Another
6:35
word. I. Want to welcome
6:37
back? Emily. Merce,
6:39
your. No No Verse: Oh
6:41
okay with I said her
6:43
name on for courser Verse
6:45
Chorus Verse Course Curse. Or
6:48
you know, an alley. And is
6:51
ridiculous. Name anti now Paula
6:53
Poundstone. Are okay with I
6:56
say another word. I want to
6:58
welcome fact house band Emily's. Workers
7:01
ah as many workers
7:04
which is. If
7:06
you guys are Harry Potter fans, of course you've
7:08
heard that when in Myanmar, give a book or
7:10
I. Workers
7:13
Oh My God. oh own
7:15
words which and on my
7:17
worst enemies. As his
7:19
mind this tenor saxophone. Emily.
7:25
The Nashville De Sac opponent
7:27
with a passion for the
7:30
increased visibility of women on
7:32
behind and in front of
7:34
stage and a commitment to
7:36
the musical education of generations
7:38
to come. Listeners can censor.
7:41
On the road with Ron Paul
7:43
all across the country starting February
7:45
eleventh. Find Emily schedule and
7:48
projects on Instagram. As. Emily
7:50
and V K Okay, but it's in an
7:53
with. An easy sell. emily
7:55
and was in t v
7:57
k or on our website
7:59
emily AAN with an
8:02
E, vk.com. Oh
8:04
my God, Emily. That was just a thought
8:06
your way through that. It was just two
8:08
sentences, but boy, that was hard. The letters
8:10
and the codes. I
8:14
feel like one of the Navajo code whispers
8:16
or whatever they were. I feel that
8:18
was, whoa, God. Yeah, the wind talkers,
8:21
code talkers. That was what it was,
8:23
wind talkers. I'm exhausted from that.
8:25
So why don't you, yeah, recompose
8:27
yourself, Fall Out Poundstone, because here comes that
8:29
question I tend to ask. Yes. What's
8:32
new, Paula? Well, I'll tell you,
8:34
Adam. You know, I do a lot of interviews, which
8:37
is not really my favorite thing, but I do a
8:39
lot of interviews to promote shows. A lot of drive
8:41
time radio interviews, right? I do a lot of drive
8:43
time radio interviews, and then I do some print interviews,
8:45
and sometimes I do other- With Bob and the Fart
8:47
Man and stuff like that. Yeah, the Mad Man and
8:49
the Lawn Mower in the morning. And
8:51
I do, sometimes I do other people's
8:53
podcasts and that sort of thing. So
8:56
when I was talking with my publicist,
8:59
we were trying to find a time to fit in this
9:01
one. It was a print interview, so
9:04
it was just a person calling me on the phone and
9:06
me talking to that person. And I,
9:09
at the time, thought that
9:11
I was flying to
9:15
Fort Lauderdale, that I would
9:17
arrive in Fort Lauderdale the
9:20
night before this interview, which
9:22
took place on a Friday.
9:25
And so I said, how about 11 o'clock,
9:27
Friday morning? That's
9:30
great, so I'll sleep- This is a peak behind the
9:32
curtain. Yeah, this is really a peak behind the curtain.
9:34
So it turned out that I
9:36
was not flying there the night before.
9:39
I was flying overnight the
9:41
night before, which means that I got in
9:43
at, I don't know, I
9:45
get to the hotel by maybe seven or something in
9:48
the morning, so I was a little tired. And
9:50
so the guy calls, and I
9:53
was sleeping what he called, because I
9:55
used, in the old days, I used
9:57
to accept my alarm and say, have
10:01
this interview, I'll give myself time to get
10:03
up and brush my teeth, maybe
10:05
drink a diet soda, you know, so be
10:07
a little animated and perky, but frankly as
10:09
the years have gone by, I just
10:12
let the phone call wake me up and
10:17
I even do it for radio. It's a
10:19
solid career movie. I even do
10:21
that for radio, so like radio station will call me
10:23
like, you know, a lot of times I do interviews for
10:25
East Coast jobs while I'm on the West Coast
10:27
and so, you know, it's seven
10:29
in the morning for them, but it's four in
10:31
the morning for me and so I just let
10:34
the phone wake me up and they're all like,
10:36
you know, the madman and the lawnmower in the
10:38
morning, you know, which welcome to the morning zone.
10:41
And I'm like, hello,
10:44
hello. Are we reaching
10:46
Paula Pazza? Yeah, yeah,
10:48
I'm really excited to
10:50
come in there. So
10:52
I'm using basically the same technique here, which
10:55
is I allow the phone to wake me
10:57
up, but right away I
10:59
pretend, the guy goes, he goes, is
11:01
this still a good time to call?
11:03
I say, fantastic. And
11:05
so I pretend that I'm wide
11:07
awake. And what I
11:09
last recall was him asking me a
11:11
question and I remember thinking about the
11:13
answer to the question and it wasn't
11:16
anything too tricky. It was like, you know,
11:18
how many dates do you do a year
11:20
or, you know, were you funny in elementary
11:22
school? Right. And I remember reflecting on
11:25
the answer. And then the
11:27
next thing I remember is hearing the
11:29
phone ring again. Oh, you
11:32
fell asleep. I fell asleep. You passed
11:34
out. You passed out. You pulled a
11:37
Felber. It was just like Adam with
11:39
the French people. So I, so
11:42
the guy, so I answered the phone when
11:44
it rings again and it took
11:46
like, I was so disoriented. I had no idea
11:48
why the phone was ringing and I picked the
11:50
phone up and I go, what happened? And it
11:53
has happened. I mean, my phone cuts out a
11:58
lot. Everybody's phone Cuts out a lot. So. Those
12:00
very possible that the phone just cut out
12:02
and that was my fondest hope. Was it
12:04
the phone a close but instead he did
12:06
not know he says i don't know but
12:08
I could eat breathe and for a long
12:10
time to. Go!
12:15
Yes, that is. Is deeply
12:18
humiliating. Ah yeah. And then I
12:20
said to my so what do know I've had this
12:22
oozing sore and my leg for a while and I.
12:24
Never see I might be the impression
12:26
my to go in other parts of
12:29
my body at at at the risk
12:31
of offending my my radio brethren and
12:33
nobody knows more about using source in
12:35
a drive time Dj. Oh. I
12:38
don't watch anime. That's true. I think
12:40
you're thinking of Hunter Brazil using of
12:42
Dj from a long time ago. It.
12:44
You know? No, no. the new D J's a
12:47
very. Fresh, And.
12:49
Recently, they're very hygienic. very.
12:52
I. Do next. The woods smell the
12:54
man, man and more the morning. By
12:58
you guys talking about and wow, What's
13:00
this? How are you guys talking rail
13:02
I don't want to say why, but
13:04
I do want to say. That.
13:07
We have a medicated Barney Burns on
13:09
our hands and the last season's right
13:11
now is immense. The latest? Yeah, She
13:14
really has no idea what's. Going on, see
13:17
that he says i see no idea
13:19
what we're talking about. Simpson trust me
13:21
everybody as he means. It's nice to
13:24
think she's reflecting from personal experience. Clk
13:26
as high as a site and all
13:28
right. So when St. Louis much drips
13:31
out, it's been for yeah. we started.
13:33
I was. I wasn't gonna say. It's
13:35
but since you brought it up,
13:37
I had some kind of interactions
13:40
with some medicine that I'm taking.
13:42
And I was in so much pain by
13:44
three thirty in the morning. We had to
13:46
call an ambulance and I had to go
13:48
to the As Has emergency so it turned
13:50
out loud. Me. I was. I
13:53
haven't I heard that before. I was totally
13:55
telling you before we start. Our
13:58
wow In Nebraska you break him. The
14:00
out on a show is now for rabbits and
14:02
played out. We want to share that person experience.
14:04
With she's so high on.
14:06
This season now said she has no idea I
14:09
don't know felt I love the so he. Said
14:11
you had to take the ambulance to
14:13
the hospital because that's really where they
14:15
go. They. Find
14:19
that very that you've ever heard about to
14:21
like I was feeling low last night's or
14:23
to the ambulance to to the discussion Yeah
14:25
exactly this so I took an ambulance they
14:27
took money in and out burger that that
14:30
know that they don't they take them to
14:32
that. Turned out to be a blood
14:34
sugar as and given they're gonna take
14:36
you to the hospital anyway anywhere to
14:38
catch everybody up in case you're wearing
14:40
body is okay, she's fine human interaction
14:43
with a medicine. however they did rent
14:45
or high as applied and sleepless and
14:47
that is the conditions in which Ronnie
14:49
Earns is coming to is on Tonight
14:51
show God help us off. Or
14:54
a suit. It can be hard to turn this show
14:56
around and. Around and
14:58
as is the trains or the ambulance her
15:00
smile down Left a while and. Ss.
15:07
Reference: Maybe a little dated for
15:09
but for some of our listeners,
15:11
but. Okay, you remember in
15:13
the movie mass. When they
15:15
were trying to get whole john. Who.
15:18
Was the South Korean kid
15:20
that worked around the mass
15:23
hospital they were trying to
15:25
get whole. John not enlisted.
15:28
In. The military and so they dragged
15:30
him up. And they
15:32
took him from his own test for
15:34
his physical with the military and of
15:37
course the military would have anything to
15:39
do with them because he was lost.
15:41
On. It or got. And yeah,
15:44
no, I have no memory of that
15:46
know, married or well. As for if
15:48
anybody wants his, check it out and
15:50
then put a pitcher side by side
15:52
with body burns. That's exactly what she
15:54
looks like. A success. and
15:57
just elyria yeah i do have kind of
15:59
red cheeks Just because she's
16:01
delirious doesn't mean we don't care about
16:03
her literary opinion because it's time for
16:05
me to call To
16:09
order our book club Your
16:14
gavel is a little weak. Oh,
16:17
it's time for me to call to order That's
16:21
nice our book club Oh
16:31
happy day Happy
16:35
day We
16:40
got a book Bookie
16:44
bookie book We
16:48
got a book She
16:55
wasn't high at all when she recorded
16:58
this Bookie
17:00
bookie bookie book Bookie
17:02
bookie bookie book No
17:08
medication was wasted in the recording of
17:10
that theme song Absolutely
17:12
not it was all used now In
17:16
the interest of doing what we always do
17:18
I want to summarize the last two chapters
17:20
of JD Salander's immortal classic catcher in the
17:22
rye But I want to
17:25
add to it this week By
17:27
starting first by summarizing the book club
17:29
itself Follow
17:33
read something that sounds amusingly close to catcher in
17:36
the rye but not catcher in the rye Bonnie
17:39
read the cliff notes, but still thinks that counts
17:41
Although might not have read anything if she was
17:43
in the hospital and Tony figured hey, it's the
17:45
last week I wasn't caught up last week. I'll
17:47
just put up with a censure and not read
17:50
the end of it this week Leaving
17:52
me as the guy who read the end of catcher
17:54
in the rye if I'm wrong Issue
17:56
your objections now. If not, let me summarize
17:58
the actual last two chapters. Hey look at
18:00
the silence. I read. I've been doing the reading the
18:02
whole time. I
18:06
bet you have. And so in the last
18:08
two chapters of Catcher in the Rye we
18:10
learned that Holden Caulfield is falling apart physically
18:12
now as well as mentally. He makes
18:15
an effort to write a note to his sister
18:17
and give it to her at school to let
18:19
her know that he's moving out west. He's literally
18:22
got this feverish plot to move out west. She
18:25
shows up at the park to say goodbye to him with
18:27
her suitcase. She does not want him to go unless she's
18:29
going with him. They fight. They
18:32
reconcile. He watches her on the
18:34
merry-go-round. He gets drenched. He's
18:36
obviously super sick at
18:38
this point both physically and mentally. And
18:40
watching her on the merry-go-round he's very
18:42
happy. And then we get like a
18:44
one-page epilogue that is I guess
18:48
weeks or months later he's in some
18:50
sort of institution recovering from what was
18:52
obviously some sort of
18:54
physical and or mental breakdown. And
18:56
he's going to be going back to school in the
18:58
fall and that's the end of Catcher in the Rye.
19:01
It looks like there might be hope for him. He realizes
19:04
he misses all those people. And
19:07
he realizes he misses everybody in his life which
19:09
is his way of saying that he misses his
19:11
dead brother without mentioning him. And that
19:13
is the end. She didn't get that vibe. Well you should
19:15
make the book next time. Yeah
19:18
well I guess Cliff Notes didn't get
19:20
that. But that is that is where
19:22
Catcher in the Rye ended. Paula Poundstone,
19:25
how did you feel about the final
19:27
two chapters of J.D. Salinger's Catcher in
19:30
the Rye? Well I don't know if you
19:32
can see the tears in my eyes from where
19:34
you are but it was when
19:38
Betsy realizes that there's very
19:40
little anyone can do for Lisa if
19:42
Lisa does not want to help because
19:44
of Mrs. Schilling Lisa is beyond the help
19:46
of her three best friends. And
19:48
Dr. Donovan meets with
19:51
Mr. Bernstein. Betsy
19:53
wonders how productive their meeting
19:55
will be and later Dr. Donovan has
19:57
dinner with Betsy and the Goodman family.
20:00
This is the part that just really
20:03
spoke to me. Mr. Goodman tells
20:05
Dr. Donovan of his personal experiences
20:07
with Lisa Schilling and the next
20:10
morning, Betsy Elizabeth, M.N. and Dr.
20:12
Donovan-Lern that Lisa was hospitalized for
20:14
taking an overdose of PILT. This
20:17
is, I mean, the symbolism here. Okay.
20:20
It's very, I found
20:24
the whole thing very moving. I
20:27
related to, well, frankly, Lisa.
20:31
Okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah. And
20:33
it's just a, you
20:35
know, beautiful conclusion. I
20:40
can't even figure out what you read just there,
20:42
but that's not Catherine DeRae at all. There's
20:44
nobody named that. Mr. and Mrs. Schilling's
20:46
Eyes. Wait, what book? Catherine
20:48
DeRae. Oh, for Christ's sake. By J.D. Salinger.
20:51
All right. Well. What was that? Lisa
20:54
Bright and Dark. I
20:57
don't even understand that one. How
20:59
could you read Lisa Bright and Dark rather than Catherine
21:02
DeRae? It was a book that we had to read
21:04
in high school, wasn't it? Not
21:07
me, personally, but why would
21:09
you confuse those two? Lisa Bright and Dark.
21:12
Yeah. I know. I
21:14
just grabbed it off the
21:16
shelf of stuff I was supposed to read
21:18
in high school. Oh, wow. Oh my
21:20
God. Wow. Well, it was very
21:22
moving anyways. So
21:25
it wasn't what... It would surely
21:27
open Mr. and Mrs. Schilling's Eyes to Lisa's
21:29
pain and suffering. Yeah.
21:32
You know what? I... This
21:34
is kind of a happy day. Oh, happy
21:37
day. Because for the first time in the
21:39
history of our book club, someone has managed
21:41
to clean sweep a perfect
21:43
slate of being centered every
21:46
single installment of a book club.
21:48
Paula Poundstone, congratulations. How do you
21:50
feel? You know what? It
21:52
was a fantastic book. All
21:55
of it. I mean, the book about Ry,
21:57
the Bob Muecker book. You've
22:00
had the time you've written the book Catcher
22:02
and Arai with the W. Yeah, I can't
22:04
even remember all of them anymore. But, uh,
22:07
catch me if you can. Catch me if
22:09
you can. Um, uh, sure. The
22:11
lyrics from the bread song. It's all
22:13
just been, um, it's
22:17
just been fantastic. The whole... It's been
22:19
a wonderful journey of hilarious and ironic
22:21
misunderstandings, culminating in Lisa Bright and Dark.
22:24
So, that's amazing. I'm hoping
22:26
that Bonnie gets to choose the book, you
22:28
know, not infrequently because this really
22:30
was, this really was meaningful and
22:33
deep and I felt... Right.
22:35
I felt seen. A lot of people go ahead and
22:37
read the book that the book club has assigned. Yeah,
22:40
no, I did. I read the book. It was great. Um,
22:44
okay. So, let's move on then to our Bonnie.
22:46
I didn't think, I didn't, you know, I don't
22:48
know, when you said he was a wreck
22:50
physically, I'm not sure that I noticed that so
22:52
much. In fact, I didn't even really notice so
22:55
much that he was a wreck mentally. He seemed
22:57
okay to me. Jesus
23:00
Christ. Well, what was the thing that
23:02
he did that was so shocking? Physically
23:06
or mentally? I mean, like physically
23:09
he was, he was sweating. He
23:12
fainted in the bathroom and then got up
23:14
after hurting his arm. He sweat profusely some
23:17
more. He tried to eat and could not.
23:20
Every time he like laughed or moved, he felt like
23:22
he was going to throw up. He
23:24
had to sit down several times. He
23:27
had a self completely feeling
23:29
awful. Not going to be any
23:31
slept overnight on a park bench
23:33
in the rain. No,
23:36
he slept overnight on a bench in
23:38
Grand Central Station for an hour or
23:40
two. Oh, okay. Grand Central Station. So
23:47
far, I feel like it's a day in
23:49
the life. I'm not. Yeah,
23:55
well, not everybody feels that way. Bonnie Burns,
23:57
how do you feel about it? Now, I
23:59
don't. a point to asking if you read
24:02
the chapters because you've let us know over the last
24:04
few weeks that you feel like your time on this
24:06
earth is just not long enough remaining to waste
24:08
your time reading classic good literature. So
24:10
you've been reaching for the Cliff Notes.
24:13
No, I said- So I'll just ask the question I
24:15
don't want to ask, which was how do you feel
24:17
about the Cliff Notes of the last two chapters of
24:20
Catcher in the Rye? Okay.
24:23
I have two responses,
24:25
okay? So, and
24:27
now I forget. See, that's a problem. It's
24:29
like two continuous things I have to remember.
24:32
Yeah. And then two. Okay,
24:35
okay. Here's
24:38
the thing. I'm really glad
24:40
I stuck with the book. Because I
24:42
really, really, really like it. I really
24:44
like it. And I thought
24:46
the ending was so masterfully done. I
24:48
can see why this is a classic.
24:51
And the one thing that really made
24:53
me laugh was when,
24:56
let's just hold on. Did he
24:58
want to go to Wyoming where
25:00
he doesn't know anybody and act
25:02
like he's mute? I just thought
25:04
was a perfect, so
25:08
concise of what this kid's struggle
25:10
was about finding this place in
25:12
life. That's
25:14
really well done. I mean, you almost
25:16
sound like somebody who read the book
25:19
with that. No, she didn't.
25:21
Okay, I will say this. I
25:23
did read the book for the summary,
25:25
but then I was so intrigued by
25:28
what they said. I went and actually read, well,
25:31
most of the last two chapters. Oh,
25:35
fucking shit. In
25:40
fact, I think whatever reaction she
25:42
had, I think when she got to the hospital,
25:44
they said, well, what medication you were on? And
25:46
she told them what medication she was on. And
25:49
they said, well, you know, rarely people can
25:51
have a bad mix of that medication and
25:53
Cliff notes from catcher in the rye. Is
25:55
that possible you mix those two things? And
25:58
she said no. Yeah. Absolutely,
26:00
you lied about it. Absolutely. No,
26:04
I've been reading Catch from the Rye. I
26:06
bet most of the people in the ER were fans of the podcast
26:08
anyway. Oh, surely. I didn't
26:10
say I was on a podcast. You
26:12
don't even know what you said. You were so high.
26:16
Well, that's a problem. Yeah,
26:18
because I find that when you need emergency medical
26:21
attention or trying to get a good table at
26:23
a restaurant mentioning you've got a podcast is like
26:25
a ticket to... Oh, yeah.
26:27
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, golden ticket.
26:31
You slip the metadata dollar and say,
26:33
you know, there's less
26:35
where that came from. I have a podcast.
26:39
Speaking of a dollar, Tony, I bet my money on
26:41
you not reading the end of Catch from the Rye.
26:43
Am I wrong? It was sad.
26:47
Did you read it? That you didn't read it?
26:50
Okay, I didn't. Yep. Oh,
26:53
my God, Noah. Centuries
26:57
for everybody. I try to remember how
26:59
it ended. This doesn't
27:01
work for everybody, but one way of knowing
27:03
how it ends is reading it. I know.
27:06
But that's not for everything. I
27:08
did find it sad though when you were talking about it.
27:11
Oh, I see. Uh-huh. Oh,
27:13
my gosh. Okay. Wow. We
27:16
are the worst book club that has ever existed. Once
27:18
I got behind, I couldn't catch
27:21
up. Tony actually donated what
27:23
was it, stem cells? Yeah. In
27:25
order to avoid the book club. That is
27:27
extreme. That is really amazing. I
27:29
really feel the stem cell people. I was on a
27:31
podcast. Did you? Yeah. Yeah,
27:34
that made them so attentive. Were
27:37
they impressed? Well, my
27:39
nurse Anthony said he loved Paula
27:41
and he would have to take a listen because he loved...
27:44
Oh, it's great. Well, welcome, Anthony. I
27:47
hope you really enjoyed this. All
27:49
right. Do we have any closing thoughts on Catch
27:51
from the Rye? I mean, actually on the book, just
27:53
for a second, because we did
27:55
come into here thinking a couple
27:58
of us really loved it as kids. And does
28:00
it hold up? Is it still a book that people
28:02
should be reading? My answer,
28:04
personally, is yes. I think it's a great
28:06
portrait of somebody in a lot of pain
28:09
trying to figure out how to make his way in the world. Also,
28:12
it made me laugh out loud a couple of times.
28:14
I was surprised at how funny I still found Holden.
28:17
I'm on the fence. Bonnie, you're
28:19
on the fence. Obviously, the
28:22
book knocked you into the Cliff Notes version
28:24
about three-quarters of the way through. Like
28:27
I said, my time's valuable and getting older
28:29
and I did the Cliff Notes. But
28:33
I got the basic thing. I get it.
28:35
I know how well-written it was. I know
28:37
the narrative story and I know the story.
28:40
I now know that book. So,
28:42
if you were going to watch The Wizard of
28:45
Oz and somebody said to you, okay,
28:47
it's Judy Garland when she was young. She
28:49
has ace bandage around her breasts so she
28:51
looks young. It starts out
28:53
black and white. The house flies up in
28:57
a tornado and then it lands
28:59
and she, you know, figures
29:01
out how to get back home and it turns
29:03
out it's a dream. That would be, you'd
29:06
feel like, okay, good, because boy, I'm
29:08
getting older. I don't have time. I mean,
29:10
that's not a satisfying way to take in a
29:12
piece of art. No, it's not.
29:14
I would say when you were talking,
29:16
that would really be doing that movie
29:18
a disservice. Don't you think it. That
29:21
would be you in the movie a
29:23
disservice. But when it comes to a
29:25
novel that is thought
29:27
of as one of the classics of the 20th century,
29:29
you're like, this
29:31
black and yellow pamphlet does the
29:34
job just fine. It's
29:36
like eating vitamins instead of
29:38
eating food. You know,
29:40
this Cliff Notes thing that you're doing. No,
29:43
I agree, but I'm better
29:45
informed. That's
29:47
true. Undeniable. If the choice
29:49
is nothing. I realize
29:51
that was the choice, but that wasn't the
29:53
choice. Don't
29:56
leave the club. A
30:01
compact that we make with each other and
30:03
all our listeners that we're going to read a book
30:05
together as a family for one. We read a book
30:07
together. I liked
30:10
it. There. Well,
30:12
there. We got that going for us. You
30:15
know, I do think, because J.D.
30:17
Salinger wouldn't let it be made if a
30:19
movie, I think it would be a very
30:22
difficult movie to make and cast. Well,
30:24
I liked how he talked. So I
30:26
think that that would be... I don't think
30:28
it would be so hard to cast, but I don't
30:31
see that as the crux of the problem. But
30:34
I liked his narration. And
30:37
if you're not hearing his narration, you're seeing people
30:39
act it out. Then I think it
30:41
would be a big missing element.
30:44
And then... Oh, that's a really good point. Yeah,
30:47
you would probably need him to be the narrator.
30:49
And I don't know that enough happens in the
30:51
book. I'm taking the Bonnie Burns approach. I don't
30:53
know if enough happens in the book to make
30:55
it into a... He does get beaten up by
30:57
the elevator operator slash pimp. Yeah.
31:00
And he does get hit on by his
31:02
old teacher. But other than that, that's about
31:04
all the action that takes place. He dances.
31:06
In the movie, they would make the getting
31:09
beaten up by the elevator operator
31:11
like this really lengthy
31:13
bloody battle. That would
31:15
be... It would be so blown out of
31:17
proportion. Yeah. Yeah. No,
31:20
I don't think it's a good idea to let movie
31:22
people touch this. All right, you guys. We got to
31:24
start talking about what our next book is going to
31:26
be. No, we are not going
31:28
to talk about that. I need a good
31:31
month to recover from this one. I got
31:33
it. But with that in mind,
31:35
let me call this installment of the Bookie Bookie
31:37
Book Club to
31:41
a close. I'm really
31:43
glad. Okay. So
31:46
is America, Bonnie. So
31:48
is America. Happy day. Happy
31:51
day. Happy day. Happy day.
31:54
Happy day. Come on, clap
31:56
along. Oh, Jesus,
31:59
morning, morning. Oh my god. Boogie,
32:03
boogie, book club.
32:07
We gotta do this. We're gonna do this.
32:09
There's your general page. Um. You
32:13
know. I
32:15
feel like... I feel like...
32:19
Oh, I'm leaving. A
32:22
boogie, boogie, book
32:24
club. I
32:28
feel like for the duration of the
32:30
podcast, Bonnie should be on one of those
32:32
harness leashes that people use on their kid
32:34
in the airport. Um.
32:37
Just to make sure she's... Yeah, but she's
32:39
just gonna go toddling off. Yeah. Make sure
32:41
she doesn't wander away out onto the runway
32:43
or something. Um. Okay,
32:46
I have one more thing. Oh
32:48
boy, she has one more thing. I know
32:50
it's been a long segment so I probably
32:52
shouldn't come in with this. But last week,
32:54
Bonnie and I... I know. But I guess
32:56
Vic could move it to the dentist.
32:59
I see. And he thought
33:01
it was too long in this one.
33:03
Okay. Last week, Tony and
33:05
I gave an oral report on Alfred
33:07
Nobel. Well, Alfred Nobel and then in
33:09
dynamite. And I said that his brother
33:12
Ludwig was blown to pieces
33:14
in a dynamite accident
33:17
in one of the factories. And
33:19
then Tony said, no, it was the
33:21
brother Emil. So I went back, I
33:24
did a little research. I
33:26
had gotten the fact about Ludwig
33:28
from the Boston Review. But
33:31
it was Emil, who
33:33
was a big oil tycoon and became
33:35
the richest of any of the Nobels.
33:38
But I mean, in all fairness, Ludwig
33:40
didn't really have a chance to earn
33:44
all the money he could have. But
33:47
it wasn't Ludwig. No,
33:49
it was Emil. Oh my God.
33:51
Oh, that's what I meant, Emil. Well, you know,
33:54
I'm working under a hand. Yeah. No,
33:56
I feel... I'm so glad you took a moment
33:58
to go back to that because you... cleared
34:00
it up. I was, you know, there
34:02
was a lot of confusion. Yeah,
34:05
now, now we are informed and still confused. But
34:12
as long as we're doing program notes,
34:14
I want to do a couple of
34:17
others before we break, which is, one
34:19
is last week, of course, we had
34:21
the amazing crossword puzzle constructor Andrea Michaels
34:23
on the show. And wouldn't
34:25
you know, just about the day that last
34:27
week's show dropped, Andrea Michaels
34:30
was announced that she's going to
34:32
be receiving the Merle Regal Memorial
34:34
Award from the ACPT, which is
34:37
the big American crossword puzzle tournament.
34:40
She's got their Lifetime
34:42
Achievement Award. She's going to be
34:44
receiving it at a ceremony, and it is going to
34:46
be a presentation and a video. So
34:49
we didn't know we had an award
34:51
winner on the show with us, but
34:53
Andrea, congratulations. Congratulations, Andrea.
34:56
Okay, yeah, that is cool. So I have to say,
34:58
Adam, you said that they are
35:01
so dropped, Andrea. And I
35:03
thought you were going to say Andrea dropped.
35:06
I kind of did that, too. I got to tell
35:08
you why. Okay,
35:12
so you guys both went to a dark
35:14
place. I don't know what Tony's excuse is.
35:18
I just felt so like you kind of
35:20
heated up. It sounded like something bad was
35:22
going to happen. Yeah, no,
35:24
Andrea. Oh, no,
35:27
no, she received the sort
35:30
of top prestigious award among crossword
35:33
puzzle constructors. It's a
35:35
Lifetime Achievement Award, even
35:38
though her lifetime is nowhere near over,
35:40
except for in the minds of Bonnie
35:42
Burns and Tony Needleholt. Wow,
35:46
boy, they really have just the energy
35:49
you want to have at a party,
35:51
don't they? Yeah,
35:53
really. Yeah, they do. It's pretty amazing.
35:55
And one other program note, a lot
35:57
of listeners pointed out how, you know,
36:00
you know miss nancy called into our uh...
36:02
our podcast last week and it would
36:04
and i think behind the curtain sometimes
36:06
we do some post-production on those phone
36:08
call to to sweeten them up and
36:10
a lot of listeners pointed out what
36:12
a great job our editor vick did
36:14
on that phone call uh...
36:16
it just sounded great i've listened
36:18
to it though and i want to point out
36:20
and vick i've said nothing best
36:22
things about you on this podcast they
36:25
just absolutely i do have
36:27
to point out that last week when the kid
36:29
russell started speaking up uh...
36:32
from the background and miss nancy was
36:34
talking to russell in the background vick
36:36
it sounded like you might have kidnapped
36:38
a fifty-year-old man gagged him and stuffed
36:40
him in your closet and had to
36:42
have him record the voice of russell
36:45
uh... so so it's
36:47
an interest of everybody uh... an
36:51
interest of everybody hearing what i'm talking about vick
36:53
could you play a little bit of russell talking
36:55
in the background from last week that
36:59
the hundreds caller Wednesday biographical tour of
37:01
the places that made me the man i am well
37:06
i live in valley village california russell
37:09
wants to know if you are the
37:11
village idiot russell sit down but
37:22
but that aside vick again our
37:25
favorite new addition to the podcast you do such a
37:27
great job we really can't but
37:29
let that poor guy out is my note you
37:32
know guys alfred lord tenison
37:34
wrote it is better to have loved and
37:36
lost than never to have loved at all
37:39
but that's because i'll never dated michelle who broke
37:41
up with me for no reason on new year's
37:44
eve and
37:46
it was the same new year's eve
37:48
tales of love gone bad when
37:51
we come back and then after that mailbag
37:54
fixer upper edition it's all coming
37:56
up wait wait wait Man!
38:03
It's a reparative. Alright
38:07
Paula. I'm
38:09
still playing. Yeah. We can't
38:11
hear it on the zoom. Oh, fuck you. On
38:19
this day in unremarkable history,
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44:05
have a player who exits the game in
44:07
the first half and doesn't return in a
44:09
second, that player is rebooted. So it's
44:12
like an insurance policy. Go to
44:14
prizepix.com/nobody and use code nobody for
44:17
a first deposit match of up
44:19
to That's
44:21
prizepix.com/nobody and use code nobody
44:23
for a first deposit match
44:26
of up to And
44:28
then drop by and see how I did with
44:30
the Greek freak and harden again on January 3rd.
44:33
My hopes are not that high.
44:35
Prizepix, daily fantasy sports made easy.
44:39
And we're back. Thank
44:45
you to tonight's house band
44:47
Emily, Verskore Curse. Thank
44:50
you so much, Emily. Your
44:52
name is not that hard to say. Paul on
44:54
the power stone. Is it? Okay, Verskore Curse. Which
44:58
is the accent on, do you think? Verskore
45:01
Curse or Verskore Curse?
45:04
Well, I know curse is a separate name.
45:06
There's a hyphen between Verskore and curse. So
45:08
I didn't realize that. Oh, yeah.
45:10
I didn't realize that. That
45:12
changes everything. Emily Jones. That's
45:16
Verskore. That's not her name. Verskore
45:18
Curse. Verskore Curse. Verskore Curse. Yeah, it's
45:20
like Verskore but with an extra C.
45:22
Hey. Now, it is
45:25
time, as I said, we
45:27
didn't manage to get our guests onto the show this
45:29
week. He had an emergency. He had to get to.
45:31
We will have him on on a different day. But
45:33
we do have a brand new segment that's just given
45:36
the fact that Bonnie's been drugged,
45:38
I am sure this segment is
45:40
going to go great this time
45:43
for our tales of love gone
45:45
bad. Okay.
45:49
So when I was in the hospital, I was
45:51
trying to think of like, okay, what could the
45:53
theme song be? And the only thing
45:55
I could watch the only thing I could think of now
45:57
is we've got a book club. Song
46:00
after my hat. But do
46:03
not play that song, Tony. So
46:07
I think the one I came up
46:09
with is pretty lame, so if it could
46:11
take this out, maybe Paul and Adam can come
46:13
up with something. You say
46:15
tomato and I say
46:17
tomato. You say potato
46:19
and I say potato,
46:22
tomato, potato. Hey,
46:24
tomato, tomato, potato, potato,
46:27
potato, let's call the
46:29
whole thing off. That
46:32
sometimes comes out how I'm feeling about this
46:35
show tonight. Absolutely.
46:40
You know, let that stand. I love it.
46:43
All right. It's perfect. Love
46:46
Gone Bad. And let's start with
46:48
our first tale of Love Gone
46:50
Bad. These are dating nightmares that
46:52
happen in relationship. And we're starting
46:54
with our own Cupid
46:56
herself, Paula Poundstone.
47:00
All right. So many, many years ago, I was
47:03
working clubs and I decided
47:05
to try for the
47:07
first time I'd ever done this, going
47:09
out on the road
47:11
for an entire month. What
47:15
I did before was I'd go clubs
47:18
used to be I mean, this is the 80s,
47:20
the early 80s when, you
47:22
know, the comedy club scene was really
47:24
hot. And they were very small
47:26
venues, by the way. But nonetheless, it was very hot.
47:30
You know, the stand up comedy, some might say.
47:33
Some might say I don't know that they'd be correct,
47:35
but some might say it. No, I would say it.
47:39
No stopping some. So
47:42
but generally the way it worked back
47:44
then was you would you know, you'd
47:47
leave home on Wednesday. You might
47:49
do a show Wednesday night, Thursday night, maybe
47:52
two shows Friday, maybe three
47:54
shows Saturday, either a show
47:57
or two shows on Sunday.
47:59
That's. how, you know, in
48:01
one club in one location. And
48:04
then I used to fly home on
48:07
Monday and usually
48:10
and then fly out again on Wednesday.
48:13
And Jesus, what a life. Some
48:15
booker, I forget who it was now, but
48:17
talked me into doing
48:20
a whole month without
48:22
coming home. And,
48:24
you know, that's what bands do, but
48:26
bands have equipment. No, not
48:29
cost effective for them to come back
48:31
and forth. A hundred percent. So
48:35
I tried this and it
48:37
turned out, I never did it
48:39
again. Turned out it made me
48:42
absolutely miserable. Wow.
48:44
So I, but I'm
48:47
on this trip. Now it's the day
48:49
at the end of the month that I am
48:51
coming home and I'm so excited to be coming home.
48:53
I forget what airport I was at, but anyways, on
48:56
the other side of the country, I'm sure. And
48:58
I get to the airport and somebody else had
49:00
set this up for me. You know,
49:03
some booker, I get to the
49:05
airport and they tell me that I
49:07
don't have a ticket and
49:10
I'm dying to go home
49:13
and they say, yeah, no, you know.
49:17
And I think I had like literally a
49:19
couple hundred dollars profit from
49:21
this time that I had been out for
49:24
this whole month. I'm currently
49:26
terrified to see how this becomes
49:28
love gone bad. Oh, no, this
49:30
is a beautiful love story. So
49:33
I'm tearing up again. Hold
49:38
on. I'm going to call
49:41
Tony's brother. All
49:43
right. So I'm, I
49:46
think I did start to cry actually because I, so
49:49
they say to me, well, you have to buy a new
49:51
ticket. I
49:54
don't think I had a credit card back then. I think I
49:56
gave them the cash that I had. And
49:59
now I. And now I had like
50:02
a dollar fifty. And it
50:04
turns out that there wasn't another flight to
50:07
Los Angeles for twelve hours.
50:11
So I have a dollar fifty to
50:14
my name and I
50:16
have to spend twelve hours in
50:19
the airport. And
50:22
at some point I went
50:24
to a bar
50:27
in the airport and I
50:29
sat at the counter. I can't remember if I
50:31
spent my dollar fifty or if I just asked for
50:33
water. I don't recall. But I sat
50:35
there and I had this poster that
50:38
I'd gotten at the Smithsonian. It was
50:40
a twelve, it was a poster that
50:42
was divided into parts and the parts
50:44
connected together made a twelve foot long
50:46
poster that was a
50:49
timeline history of the world. I got
50:51
it at the Smithsonian. It was fabulous. That sounds
50:53
fantastic. Yeah. It was fantastic. I
50:56
wish I could get one again. But I had that with me and
50:59
I'm sitting at this bar and I'm just as depressed
51:01
as I can be. And it
51:03
was like a real darkened bar. And
51:08
you know, think like Perry Mason. It was a really
51:10
darkened bar. And I'm
51:12
just sort of chit chatting with the bartender
51:15
for no good reason. And
51:17
the bartender comes over to me and he says, the guy
51:20
at the end of the bar there, and
51:22
I kind of glance over, would like to buy you a
51:24
drink. You know, my first
51:26
instinct was no, thank you, no. But
51:30
I had, you know, I thought, you
51:32
know, who am I to turn
51:34
down a drink from this
51:36
guy? So I said, that's very nice.
51:38
And I forget what I ordered. I can't remember
51:40
anymore. I said, that's very nice of you. And I
51:43
kind of gave him the high sign. Well, he took
51:45
that to mean that he should come
51:47
sit with me, which I guess is what it means.
51:49
I don't know. That's kind of what it means. Yeah.
51:52
I've never done that because it feels so I would never do anything
51:54
like that. But I'm pretty sure that's what it means. Yeah. I'm
51:57
not a big dater. So no, that's just
51:59
important. footnote here. Yeah, yeah, I'm
52:01
not a big data and I may
52:03
have done this wrong. I admit that
52:05
openly. So he moves down, is a
52:08
heartbreaking story because it's, you know, the
52:10
love bond was so strong. So
52:12
he moves down the bar and
52:14
he sits beside me and
52:16
he begins, you know, conversation
52:18
and I'm answering his questions.
52:20
I forget what they were now and
52:24
at some point he
52:27
suggests that
52:29
I might be a man and that
52:33
you could become one or that you might at
52:35
that moment be a man. That I am at
52:37
that moment a man. Okay.
52:39
And he
52:41
suggested suspiciously like
52:44
as if I was trying to pull a fast one on
52:46
him which I don't know what that would have been. I
52:48
said no, I'm a woman. At
52:52
which point he reaches
52:54
down and grabs
52:57
me the way that Trump
52:59
has posted that he does. And
53:03
in doing so
53:05
he smushes my
53:08
poster. And I
53:10
was so pissed about the poster that
53:13
I just broke up with him. I just, really?
53:16
Yeah, I did. It caught you the whole relationship?
53:18
Yeah, it did. I just said I don't want
53:20
to see you anymore. And, you
53:23
know, he was heartbroken. It wasn't an easy thing
53:25
for me to do because, you know, the love
53:27
bond had grown. And,
53:30
you know, I've grown accustomed
53:33
to his face. I mean, I, you
53:37
know, I miss him. I miss him. Richie,
53:40
if you're out there, Paula
53:42
Poundstone doesn't
53:44
care about the poster anymore. Come back
53:47
home. Yeah, come back. I
53:49
may have said some things that I didn't mean
53:51
in the heat of the moment. I'd get
53:53
your hand off of my poster.
53:57
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
54:00
really grabbed you right by the
54:02
Trump the Trump and oh okay
54:05
and and then he said
54:07
these loving words that I think
54:09
he got directly from Shakespeare
54:12
sonnet okay he
54:14
said I just had to check I just
54:17
had to check what an ass oh no no
54:19
no now that I've you know grown up a
54:21
little bit I you know I thought he was
54:23
an ass at the time but now that I've
54:25
grown up a little bit I've just I've
54:27
come to really understand him and
54:30
yeah you know and I feel like I
54:32
was just immature that's it so Richie if
54:34
you're out there I was just immature come
54:36
back she was just immature come on back Richie yeah
54:38
I don't know he must have been super drunk I
54:40
don't know what he thinks the next thing that happens
54:42
is after he checks yeah
54:46
yeah I don't see how
54:48
how he sees that going well after that I'm
54:51
sure you know I think the loved one was
54:53
so strong that he didn't really think it through
54:55
he was just yeah he was an imp he
54:58
was impulsive and wild the way you
55:00
are you know in the early stages
55:02
of a deep and meaningful relationship absolutely
55:04
yeah yeah did he think
55:06
he was picking up a guy I think
55:10
he wanted not to I think he wanted not to pick
55:12
up a guy and I think when he got up close
55:14
to me I looked better
55:16
from a distance let me just say that when
55:22
he got up close to me he's began not to
55:24
trust his initial instincts but I
55:28
you know I have many times since then put
55:31
personal ads in the newspaper you
55:34
know saying if you like fina coladas
55:36
and you like walking in the rain
55:39
and I'm hoping I can find him that
55:41
way if
55:43
you grab the JJ's
55:46
at airports okay
55:50
your initial instincts Richie
55:52
it's me so
55:56
that's a beautiful love gun that's a love
55:58
gun bad story that's a beautiful tale
56:00
of love and sexual assault. That's awesome.
56:03
Thank you, Paula. Yeah. Um, because she's
56:05
so mortified she can't breathe right now,
56:07
I'm gonna call Tony Needle Hall next.
56:10
Tony Needle Hall, let's hear your story of
56:12
Love Gone Bad. Oh my God,
56:15
there were so many to choose
56:17
from. But anyway,
56:19
I wanted to think about if people heard this
56:21
and they knew who I was. Anyway, ah, or
56:23
knew my identity. I guess I've worn as my
56:25
identity anyway. Oh, we are really identity. Um, really,
56:27
I don't want my, like, it's not something I
56:29
want my brother to like hear. Oh, I see.
56:31
Well, just the incident of the show. Um, occasionally.
56:35
Yeah. He won't hear this.
56:37
Yeah. Um. No, well, I'm not, I'm
56:39
gonna keep it Jeremy Hall friendly.
56:41
Okay, so. Okay, Tony, would you help
56:44
if I translated it into
56:46
Pig Latin? So
56:53
I was living in New York City and I
56:55
was working at a theater and
56:57
I, um, I worked box office and
57:00
concessions like, uh, like a stage theater
57:03
and, um, the mint
57:05
theater company. There still
57:07
exists today. And
57:12
I was working concessions and intermission and this guy like
57:15
asked for my phone number. I came up first name.
57:17
I could probably, I could picture him with clear say.
57:19
So I gave it to him. He calls me. I
57:21
go out with him. Jerry, Jerry,
57:25
and, um, he, like we, he
57:28
picks the restaurant and we go
57:30
and then he gets up and he goes to the
57:32
bathroom for like a really long time,
57:34
which is fine. Jerry J.
57:37
Athram Bay. He's
57:40
like ordered for us, which is not my
57:42
thing, but I was like, whatever. And then
57:44
the wrong with guys. Wow.
57:47
I got a thousand stories.
57:49
Um, and the chat comes
57:53
and listen, I do not care about
57:55
paying, but I didn't order anything. And
57:57
he was like, can we? Can
58:00
we flip this? And I was like, sure, it's
58:02
cool. Ah! So we split it, and then we
58:04
went to see a show, a little off-Broadway show.
58:07
Oh, shit. And he tries
58:09
to hold my hand during the show, and
58:12
I just keep moving away from him and
58:14
tucking my hand away. And
58:16
then after the show, he's walking me to
58:18
the subway stop. And
58:21
he was trying to hold my hand again, and
58:25
I was like, it used to be
58:27
like I put in the pocket of my jacket, whenever.
58:30
And so it was like, good night. I would have
58:32
taken out a cleaver and just cut my hand
58:34
off. That's, I mean, if I had a cleaver,
58:37
I would have probably done that.
58:39
Yeah, here, take this and leave. Yeah,
58:41
okay. And so I, so I'm
58:43
like, okay, goodbye. And I
58:45
turn around and he grabs my face. Oh!
58:49
And he says, may I? And
58:51
I screamed, no, shoved
58:55
him and ran away. What
58:59
here was this? Oh,
59:01
yeah. And then do you know what?
59:04
No joke. Three days later, called left me
59:06
a voicemail, said he would love to see
59:08
me again. Oh my gosh! So for him,
59:10
that date went pretty well, which makes you
59:12
wonder about his other date. Yeah. He
59:15
was, he was a season ticket
59:17
holder, and he came in like
59:19
the next production we had. Wow.
59:22
And I had to hide behind
59:24
the counter and like beg the
59:27
stage manager to cover concessions.
59:29
Wow. It's like no one, no
59:32
one could get popcorn for the longest time. When,
59:34
what year was this? Oh my
59:36
God. It was probably 2000. Who
59:39
did I live with at that time? 2000,
59:41
late 2005, early 2006. Long
59:48
after every man in America should have known better. That
59:50
was the year that they found the guy laying
59:52
in front of the subway station. How
59:54
the crap! Knock
59:57
over. I had been knocked over. Still I
59:59
had ever... holding a face while
1:00:02
i don't like like
1:00:04
i shut away and i
1:00:06
would like now we
1:00:09
are i mean who would have thought that
1:00:11
we would do a segment about love gone
1:00:13
bad and there'd be all these stories about
1:00:15
assaulted men and
1:00:20
perfectly that's the way off-color
1:00:23
thing like i think i'm actually going to go
1:00:25
to jersey city to say if i forget that
1:00:27
night we had enough to make you not
1:00:30
want to even hold it and i think it's
1:00:32
like well should you be like i don't know
1:00:34
if you'd be going alone and i'm and
1:00:36
i don't know there is something that is like a little
1:00:39
yeah that's horrifying had
1:00:41
he showed you his act uh...
1:00:47
well i don't know the first thing yeah
1:00:49
you know i mean you know you're saying
1:00:51
probably award well
1:00:53
that one was that was cheery alright well
1:00:56
you know everybody aris dot all said love
1:00:58
this composed of a single soul inhabiting two
1:01:00
bodies which is either beautiful
1:01:02
or the creepiest hillbilly shit i
1:01:04
ever heard more love gone bad
1:01:06
when we come back the
1:01:14
cat of the week is percy
1:01:16
from lisbon maine congratulations percy and
1:01:18
good luck This
1:01:25
episode is brought to you by Bumble, who
1:01:27
says Valentine's Day is just for couples. Just
1:01:29
because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean
1:01:32
you can't get out there and live your
1:01:34
best love life. That's where Bumble comes in.
1:01:37
This February 14th, you can flip
1:01:39
the script and give those relationshipers
1:01:41
a friendly dose of FOMO. Say
1:01:44
no to staying in this Valentine's Day
1:01:46
and yes to more. More dates, more
1:01:48
first kisses, more gossip for the group
1:01:50
chat, girlies. Do Valentine's your way. Date
1:01:53
now on Bumble. Fun
1:02:04
fact, the little
1:02:06
dot over the letter I is called
1:02:09
a tittle, but not to
1:02:11
its face of course. Now,
1:02:20
against my better judgment, let's go to our
1:02:22
drug addict over there in
1:02:24
the Simi Valley. Bonnie Burns, what's your story
1:02:27
of love gone bad? You know, I had
1:02:29
one I was going to tell, but now
1:02:31
I think it's like such a
1:02:33
bonus. Really? I've
1:02:36
had about me, a downer about
1:02:38
me. In comparison to these? Honestly.
1:02:41
Yeah. Maybe I should tell one
1:02:43
that... You're learning a lot about love tonight. Yeah. You're
1:02:45
welcome back. All right. I'll tell
1:02:48
this. It's really embarrassing, but I can't think
1:02:50
of anything else to come up with right
1:02:52
now. Tell it. Feel free to make something happen.
1:02:54
I'm going to have to cover my face to tell this. Okay.
1:02:56
I'm in the way. You guys, look up in the
1:02:58
sky. Do you see that thing near the kite? Is
1:03:00
that... What do you think that could be?
1:03:02
That's Bonnie. Yeah. Right
1:03:04
next to the... You know, I don't
1:03:07
think I'm going to get any sleep tonight because I
1:03:09
am wound up so... I
1:03:12
can tell you're wound up tight, but let
1:03:14
me help guide you through this. You're in
1:03:16
the ninth grade. I'm in the ninth grade.
1:03:18
Okay. And I meet a
1:03:20
guy named Rob Gentry, who was like
1:03:23
my first real
1:03:25
love, like one of those people you
1:03:27
see him and I was like dreamy
1:03:29
and I hadn't had those feelings for somebody
1:03:31
before. My mom was not happy
1:03:34
that he wasn't Jewish, so I kind of had
1:03:36
that shadow over me. But
1:03:38
I'm like feeling in love with this
1:03:40
guy. Was it Rob Gentry or Rob
1:03:42
Gentile? Rob
1:03:45
Gentry to me, but
1:03:47
it's not just rubbing your face in
1:03:49
it for God's sakes. Okay. So
1:03:51
anyway, we even got like matching shirts. I
1:03:53
think that was kind of in the era
1:03:56
when the girl and the guy would get like
1:03:58
matching shirts. together. I
1:04:00
don't remember that but I'd
1:04:02
go to his football games in his fall
1:04:05
and the leaves I watch him play and
1:04:07
all that so you know I read in
1:04:09
Seventeen magazine like things you do to go out
1:04:11
with a guy one of them was you
1:04:14
make chocolate chip cookies I invite him
1:04:16
over to our house for making chocolate
1:04:18
chip cookies and you know my mom
1:04:20
like walking by with that kind of
1:04:22
look like yeah not crazy about this
1:04:24
okay so anyway he walks he's walking
1:04:26
me home from school I first walking
1:04:28
me home from school and we have
1:04:30
like this kind of
1:04:33
hill run outside our a
1:04:35
picture window in the
1:04:37
family room and I'm standing there with
1:04:39
him and he's holding my books and
1:04:42
I'm thinking is this guy gonna kiss me
1:04:45
or am I supposed to
1:04:47
reach up and tip him
1:04:49
but then maybe he'll think I'm
1:04:51
cheap because I'm forward
1:04:56
and then I see my mom
1:04:58
standing behind the curtain and peeking
1:05:00
out okay so
1:05:04
I do nothing next
1:05:06
thing I know that Rob
1:05:08
Gentry is going out with Vicki
1:05:10
Green which is kind of known
1:05:12
as like the fast girl at school oh yeah and
1:05:14
so I thought
1:05:17
you know what Vicki Green probably like just
1:05:19
a first before he did it and she
1:05:21
was fast so I lost him it so
1:05:23
broke my heart this is that
1:05:25
part that I went I'm
1:05:27
never gonna let that put myself
1:05:30
in a position where a guy
1:05:32
can hurt me like that again oh
1:05:34
that's that's very early to make that declaration
1:05:36
I think that I
1:05:39
wrote this poem about
1:05:42
the world being a tragedy
1:05:44
this world is a tragedy what
1:05:46
is said I'll always be forgotten
1:05:48
stuff like that okay oh
1:05:50
my god I leave it out next
1:05:53
to my diary because I
1:05:55
want my mom to see that I
1:05:57
am really upset ball and I have to say that I
1:06:00
get over to school the next day and
1:06:02
she goes, I read
1:06:04
your poem, you misspelled tragedy. Ha ha ha
1:06:06
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
1:06:08
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
1:06:10
ha ha ha That's an awesome story Bonnie,
1:06:12
are you kidding? I read your name, that's
1:06:15
an abdict. That was great. You
1:06:17
know, I wish Bonnie, I wish for
1:06:19
you that your future self could
1:06:21
have told your 9th grade
1:06:23
self as a balm to that tragedy,
1:06:26
as a balm to that sadness, that there was
1:06:28
going to be a shower in your future. Oh ha ha ha
1:06:30
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
1:06:32
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha A
1:06:34
shower with somebody that puts
1:06:36
Rob Gentry to shame. You're almost
1:06:39
out. Yeah. That is not zero
1:06:41
myself. It's zero my own. Your
1:06:44
mother would have loved him.
1:06:47
Absolutely. You ever see
1:06:49
him in monotonyterist? He was great. Alright
1:06:52
I've got one, I've been scouring my brain to
1:06:54
find ones that might be of a lighter tone.
1:06:56
The other time I grabbed this woman by the
1:06:58
face. And the other time I grabbed
1:07:00
this woman by the vagina. Oh
1:07:03
my god. And
1:07:06
the other time when I did nothing and went with
1:07:08
the fast girl. That was you? I
1:07:10
didn't recognize you. You know, it was all
1:07:12
the way across. I didn't recognize you.
1:07:14
Also I went by the name of Richie at that time. Oh
1:07:17
yeah, Richie. Richie.
1:07:21
So here's one, I hope it's funny. I'm just trying to
1:07:23
find one that kind of like spreads the floor
1:07:25
a little bit as they say in the NBA.
1:07:27
It gives people a different look. Okay so I'm
1:07:29
in college and I start I
1:07:32
guess you'd say hooking up with this woman
1:07:34
who lives in my dorm but we also
1:07:36
do shows together and she's just drop
1:07:39
dead gorgeous. In fact,
1:07:42
oh my god, she's absolutely not Fanny
1:07:44
Bryson. You're going to discover why in
1:07:46
just a moment. Fanny Bryson. I'm
1:07:48
going to call her. I'm going to call her. Maybe
1:07:50
Schnucks were going at it. Yeah go ahead. I'm
1:07:52
going to call her Lisa Dortmund is what I'm going to call her. I'll
1:07:55
find out why in a minute. And she's
1:07:57
beautiful and she's funny. and
1:08:00
she's bright and dark and she's actually bright
1:08:03
and she is dark but some reason to
1:08:05
believe that she's not entirely honest but I'm
1:08:07
willing to overlook that because we're having a
1:08:09
great time together and here's where it turns
1:08:11
a little bit here at some point around
1:08:14
the time we first hooked up we
1:08:16
discover that basically our parents
1:08:19
had they had the chance would have
1:08:21
killed each other what
1:08:23
do you mean? because I am the
1:08:25
son of a Holocaust survivor who left
1:08:28
Germany when he was nine years old
1:08:30
really a Jewish man and and
1:08:33
Lisa was the daughter
1:08:35
of someone who had been as
1:08:38
she put it in the Hitler
1:08:40
Union. What
1:08:42
Lisa said to me is
1:08:45
oh but he left Germany like you know
1:08:47
they fled when he was like four or
1:08:49
five years old because you know his father
1:08:51
wasn't into it and he was like four
1:08:53
or five and and so that's not really
1:08:55
a thing and so rather
1:08:57
than being concerned me and Lisa just kind of
1:09:00
enjoyed the idea that like look at this 40
1:09:02
50 years later the daughter
1:09:04
of a sort of Nazi and the daughter of
1:09:06
a Holocaust and the son of a Holocaust survivor
1:09:08
can hook up in school and it's all cool.
1:09:11
It's a beautiful story. It should be a
1:09:13
beautiful story but it's not and here's
1:09:15
why now my dad came to
1:09:17
America at the age of 10 and this is
1:09:19
an important detail you would never have known he
1:09:21
was an immigrant when you met him because he
1:09:23
had this big round Midwestern accent because he was
1:09:25
raised in Cleveland Ohio and as everybody knows if
1:09:27
you get to a new country or start a
1:09:30
new language by the age before the age of
1:09:32
12 you can speak
1:09:34
entirely without an accent so my dad got
1:09:36
here when he was nine Lisa's dad purportedly
1:09:39
got here when he was five so a
1:09:41
couple of weeks later it's parents weekend
1:09:44
at my college and I'm
1:09:46
in the dorm and I know that Lisa's
1:09:48
dad is coming to visit and for some
1:09:50
reason he has not been told
1:09:52
about me so I'm probably not going to meet
1:09:54
him because he doesn't want his daughter to be
1:09:57
dating I guess I don't know what reason
1:09:59
why Here's
1:10:01
the thing, I'm hanging out in my dorm one
1:10:03
day about to walk out the door and this
1:10:05
man walks in who looks like a 50 year
1:10:08
old version of Rolf from
1:10:10
The Sound of Music. Because
1:10:13
I'm the only guy
1:10:16
there, like he's big and he's blonde
1:10:18
and blue eyed and he's got this
1:10:20
amazing Teutonic bone structure and he looks
1:10:22
older than I would have, I didn't
1:10:24
think it was Lisa's dad
1:10:26
because he looked older than he should
1:10:28
to be her dad. And
1:10:32
all of a sudden he says
1:10:34
to me, excuse me, you can't
1:10:36
help me to find Lisa Dortmund?
1:10:42
Like the thickest fucking German accent you've
1:10:45
ever heard. Wow. And you
1:10:47
know, subsequently I went to the library and looked it
1:10:49
up and you couldn't even join the Hitler Youth before
1:10:51
you were 10 years old. So
1:10:53
I don't know when Lisa's
1:10:55
dad came to America, but
1:10:58
he was more of a Nazi than I'd known
1:11:00
at that point and it made our relationship a
1:11:02
little awkward afterwards. Well, at least
1:11:04
you guys could sing I Am 16
1:11:07
Going On 17 together. That's
1:11:09
nice. Yeah, but she always sang it You Are 16
1:11:12
Going to the Camps Now. Okay.
1:11:14
Oh my God. Watch,
1:11:17
this is just you saying it. That
1:11:19
is really bad pace. Wow.
1:11:23
That crossed the line. That
1:11:25
crossed the line. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Looks
1:11:28
funny telling us what crosses the line. Okay, wait. You guys
1:11:30
look up in the sky there. Do you see that kite?
1:11:33
Yeah. Yeah. And
1:11:35
then above that kite. Yeah. Above
1:11:37
the kite now? Yeah. Yeah.
1:11:40
That would be Bonnie. Well, now that we've bared our souls, what
1:11:42
could cheer us up better than you, our beloved listeners,
1:11:45
telling us how much we suck.
1:11:48
It's Mailbag's Fixer Upper Edition
1:11:50
when we come back. Wait, wait, Adam.
1:11:54
Yeah. Say it
1:11:56
again. It's Mailbag's Fixer Upper Edition
1:11:58
when we come back. And
1:12:04
now a news
1:12:06
update from the dental chair.
1:12:15
Hey Hank, they found
1:12:17
A'Lelia A'Harsh's airplane. This
1:12:21
has been a news update from the dental
1:12:24
chair. Thank
1:12:27
you Houseband Emily
1:12:29
Verskor Kurs.
1:12:45
Remember to check out Emily's schedule
1:12:47
and projects on Instagram at EmilyAnVK.
1:12:52
Or on her website emilyanvk.com.
1:12:57
And hey everybody, you know what, we're getting
1:12:59
together sort of best of things, collections that
1:13:01
you guys can check out. So what we
1:13:03
want you to do is let us know
1:13:05
what's your favorite bits from our show over
1:13:07
the years. Your favorite segments.
1:13:09
Write in, let us know at Nobody
1:13:12
Listens to Paula Poundstone at gmail.com. There's
1:13:14
going to be fierce competition
1:13:16
from bit to bit. Fierce competition.
1:13:18
Oh I think everybody's going to say love
1:13:20
gone bad. I like it. Yeah, love gone
1:13:23
bad. I like love gone bad but I
1:13:25
got to tell you this is a thing.
1:13:27
It's been like 30 plus years that
1:13:30
women have told me their bad
1:13:32
dating stories. And I'm still amazed
1:13:34
every week about how, every time
1:13:36
I hear something about how much
1:13:39
my gender sucks. Yeah, boys. Boys.
1:13:45
It's not the team I would be playing on
1:13:47
if I had my druthers because that's a shitty
1:13:49
team. So
1:13:51
hey, Paula Poundstone, let's talk about
1:13:53
things that are not shitty which is going to
1:13:56
see live comedy in
1:13:59
this climate. Uh, Adam, as
1:14:01
you know, I'm a stand-up comic,
1:14:04
and I work in theaters all over
1:14:06
the country, so naturally, I encourage people
1:14:08
to come to shows all year
1:14:10
long. Uh, nothing new there.
1:14:13
But really, March is
1:14:15
a slog of a month when people
1:14:18
can really use laughs.
1:14:20
It's cold, raw, sometimes
1:14:22
muddy, slushy, gray. It's
1:14:24
a hopeless time. But
1:14:27
guess what? I'm a first responder. Woo
1:14:29
woo woo woo! Have
1:14:31
another night! I'll
1:14:34
be in Hartford, Connecticut, and Infinity
1:14:36
Hartford on Saturday, February 24th.
1:14:39
I know that's not March, but it's close enough. So
1:14:42
go to polypalanstoned.com preemptively
1:14:44
to get your tickets. Then,
1:14:47
whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop, I'll
1:14:49
be in Keene, New Hampshire, at
1:14:52
Colonial Theater on Saturday, March 2nd. It's
1:14:54
the most important time to laugh. Go
1:14:56
to polypalanstoned.com to get your tickets.
1:14:58
Woo woo whoop whoop
1:15:01
whoop! Then, I'll be
1:15:03
on my way to Chicago to the
1:15:05
Studebaker Theater on Friday, March 15th.
1:15:08
Going through March without laughs is
1:15:11
like playing hockey without pads. Get
1:15:14
your tickets, get your laughs at polypalanstoned.com.
1:15:16
Wow, well, I'll try to make it
1:15:18
to all those, Paula. Maybe I'll just
1:15:20
buy one of those Amtrak passes. That's
1:15:23
a good idea. Yeah,
1:15:25
all right. Adam! All
1:15:27
right, well, we're going to move... Adam! Yes?
1:15:29
What? I was thinking... Yes.
1:15:33
I was thinking we could play a little board game. You and me? Yeah,
1:15:35
you and me. It's a brand
1:15:37
new family fun board game called
1:15:39
something's fucked up around here.
1:15:42
Oh. Yeah,
1:15:44
so I know we're not together. We're
1:15:46
in, you know, Adam's in his house. I'm in my
1:15:48
house. So I'll play for you.
1:15:51
But what color token do you want? Blue,
1:15:53
please. Okay, all right. I'll
1:15:55
take red. I'll go first. No, no, you go first.
1:15:57
You go first. first.
1:16:00
I'll roll for you. Oh,
1:16:03
yeah. Okay. Oh, look, you okay, you
1:16:05
got seven. Okay, when you
1:16:11
land on that space, you pick a
1:16:13
Republican card. Here it is here in the center. Okay.
1:16:16
Oh, here it is. Thank you. You invite and
1:16:18
encourage an angry crowd to attack the
1:16:20
Capitol and try to incite them to
1:16:22
hang your vice president. Move
1:16:25
forward three spaces. Oh,
1:16:27
that's good. Okay, move me forward.
1:16:29
Okay, good. All right, my turn.
1:16:31
Roll the dice. Let's see 12345.
1:16:33
Pick a
1:16:38
Democratic card. Okay. Okay. You
1:16:40
trip on the stairs to Air Force
1:16:43
One. Go
1:16:46
back 10 spaces. Wow. Wow.
1:16:48
We were just at the I was
1:16:50
at five. So now I'm actually negative.
1:16:52
They're off the
1:16:55
board. I'm on the treadmill for heaven's sake. Weird
1:16:57
because I would think tripping on Air Force One
1:16:59
wouldn't be as bad as the but there, you
1:17:01
know, that's what you think, huh?
1:17:04
Okay, so I'll roll for you again. Okay,
1:17:06
okay. Four, two,
1:17:08
two, two, it's great. Good for you.
1:17:10
One, two, three, four. You
1:17:14
get to pick a Republican card.
1:17:16
Again. Oh, good. Good. It
1:17:19
says you steal highly classified documents
1:17:21
from the White House and engage
1:17:23
maintenance employees to hide them from
1:17:26
the FBI. Move forward
1:17:28
five spaces. That's forward. Did
1:17:30
it say forward five? It
1:17:33
did. It did. Okay. My
1:17:35
turn. My turn. You
1:17:37
think that would set you back. You would
1:17:39
say you would say you're back, but it
1:17:41
doesn't seem to. All right. I'm rolling dice.
1:17:43
Uh, and, uh, okay. Three, one, two, three.
1:17:46
Oh, no. It's still off the
1:17:48
board. You might roll again. Let me
1:17:50
roll again because you're right. Okay. Let
1:17:52
me try again. Okay. Roll. Okay. Six.
1:17:54
That's better. One, two, three, four, five,
1:17:56
six. Oh, look at that. Pick
1:17:59
a Democratic card. You
1:18:01
pass an infrastructure bill that
1:18:03
provides long overdue repairs to bridges
1:18:05
and internet to remote areas Go
1:18:11
back ten spaces go back Wow
1:18:14
spaces this man. This is what's the
1:18:16
name of this game again? Uh, something's
1:18:19
fucked up around here See
1:18:23
what's going on? Okay. I don't see how I
1:18:25
can win. Okay your turn Adam All
1:18:28
right. Well for me. Okay, you're all
1:18:31
for you. All right Here
1:18:33
we go. Six one two, three,
1:18:36
four five six I can't
1:18:38
believe it you land on another hard
1:18:42
space All
1:18:45
right, let me read it for you you
1:18:47
spend your entire presidential term Crowing
1:18:49
about infrastructure week and
1:18:51
do nothing plus your son-in-law
1:18:55
Employed as your advisor in the White
1:18:57
House made two billion dollars off the
1:18:59
Saudis on the way out, which has
1:19:01
never been explained Okay,
1:19:03
that can't be good. No, let me
1:19:06
clear the way so you can move
1:19:08
back. Wait, what the fuck move ahead
1:19:10
ten spaces Yeah,
1:19:13
did I win I just win you
1:19:16
did oh my god, look at that. There you are
1:19:18
right in the Wow. Oh, wow
1:19:22
Jesus that is not an easy game. It's
1:19:24
something fucked up right here. Yeah, you
1:19:26
know, it doesn't there's something fucked up
1:19:28
around here Yeah, whoa.
1:19:31
Okay. Well So
1:19:33
what now? I well
1:19:37
Now that we've had that lovely little break for
1:19:39
a terrific board game It's time to give our
1:19:41
listeners their say in a segment that we like
1:19:43
to call You know, it doesn't even make any
1:19:45
sense at least in shoots and ladders
1:19:49
You know, you get out on the shoes and you go up the ladders.
1:19:51
This doesn't make any fucking sense, you
1:19:53
know Well, that's but I think the title of the
1:19:55
game kind of lets you know what's going on. Yeah,
1:19:58
but it's just right. It's it's ridiculous You
1:20:00
bought the game Paula. Yeah, it just it doesn't
1:20:02
yeah I thought it would you know in trivial
1:20:04
pursuits you you know you move forward you get
1:20:07
a pie slot I don't know what the I
1:20:09
don't get this is really I don't
1:20:11
even know how you cheat on this game I don't know
1:20:13
how you cheat except for now, you
1:20:15
know, just now it seems like the cheating
1:20:17
is all done before the game Yeah, he's
1:20:19
always you know, if you could somehow make
1:20:21
it so you always land a Republican space.
1:20:23
Okay, go ahead. Go ahead I'm you know,
1:20:25
okay. It is now time everybody for a
1:20:27
mailbag. Oh, wait. Wait, hold on Yeah,
1:20:31
I don't know why you'd be ready for this.
1:20:33
We've been previewing it and billboarding it all show
1:20:35
Okay, but you know here look she's wheeling out
1:20:37
her concert clock You know
1:20:39
in the trouble game you push the button
1:20:41
in the center makes the ice bounce
1:20:44
and then you go problematic Yeah, and
1:20:46
you use the problematic exactly and then
1:20:48
you go around them But I don't
1:20:50
it seems this is something fucked up
1:20:52
there. There's something fucked up Around
1:20:55
here going on there. All right Fixer
1:21:01
upper edition Yes
1:21:03
Now, of course, this is an edition
1:21:05
where you know There are some positive
1:21:07
comments coming from you guys but also
1:21:10
some some really helpful hints on how
1:21:12
to improve the relationship between us the
1:21:15
Podcast and you the listeners and I'm sure you've
1:21:17
got some real constructive things as well as some
1:21:19
great compliments and here to tell us All about
1:21:21
it to read us is Tony
1:21:23
Anita Hall step on up Tony.
1:21:26
Okay, so the first ones from Dave Hodge Dave
1:21:29
writes a recent correspondent talked about
1:21:33
NLT PP as a glimmer of light in
1:21:35
the darkness of Tuesday. We all
1:21:37
know about TGIF But
1:21:39
have you heard of so
1:21:41
happy? It's Tuesday. Oh, that
1:21:44
is such That is such
1:21:46
a sweet idea Dave. Thank you that I
1:21:49
is it Paula. Yeah If
1:21:52
you bother figuring out what the anagram of so
1:21:54
happy. It's Tuesday is Oh What
1:21:57
I hadn't H. Yeah. Well, I
1:22:00
SH I'm sorry
1:22:02
I missed a no
1:22:05
I know what Bonnie is not a
1:22:07
bad at compliment so messed
1:22:09
up on painkillers right now she couldn't possibly
1:22:11
put that together I don't know what my
1:22:14
excuse is Bonnie is so messed up on
1:22:16
painkillers that it made you miss that that's
1:22:19
how bad it is you know what I'm a little
1:22:21
concerned about Bonnie you didn't make any deals for me
1:22:23
today did you you know what I actually
1:22:27
did fucking face for
1:22:29
you oh shit that is not
1:22:32
good news that is NGN and I
1:22:34
actually corresponded
1:22:36
with the people at
1:22:38
Harris and Tahoe today
1:22:40
about your date yeah
1:22:42
I don't know I would leave
1:22:45
a note for yourself to reread those
1:22:47
emails before when you wake up tomorrow
1:22:49
morning Bonnie because then yeah I have
1:22:51
a feeling Paula might be playing a
1:22:53
clan rally or something yeah SH
1:22:56
IT Dave what we at
1:22:58
least think that taste in my mouth
1:23:00
well don't eat it okay wait a
1:23:02
minute wait a minute our friend
1:23:09
Andrew Michaels who was on our episode last
1:23:11
week who just won the lifetime
1:23:13
achievement award from the crossword
1:23:16
puzzle people for for
1:23:18
constructing crossword puzzles I don't know
1:23:20
she could have figured out Dave's
1:23:23
so happy it's Tuesday that that
1:23:26
he teed it up perfectly by
1:23:28
saying TGIF and yeah boy
1:23:30
I party why I told you I didn't
1:23:32
it flew right over man Tony
1:23:34
I'm wondering if Catherine Hobart has
1:23:37
ever said anything to
1:23:39
us you know constructively of course she
1:23:42
did Kitty fam as some
1:23:44
might know her right sure
1:23:46
I have a tiny suggestion
1:23:48
for a change to NLT
1:23:51
PP I don't do
1:23:53
social media apologies so maybe you
1:23:55
already do this but I think
1:23:57
to increase listenership on NLT you
1:24:01
should add to your website a
1:24:03
headline like Clue Me In or
1:24:06
something similar. And when during
1:24:08
the podcast, instead of lengthfully explaining
1:24:10
to new listeners what past comment
1:24:12
or event you're referencing, you
1:24:14
could say, are you a new listener? Welcome,
1:24:17
go to our website and check out
1:24:19
the Clue Me In section to understand
1:24:21
what the heck we're asking about. You
1:24:24
could alphabetically arrange major topics
1:24:26
including, but not surely limited to,
1:24:28
Adam's improvisation history, Bonnie's
1:24:31
Halloween phobia, construction
1:24:33
overdrive of Paula's neighbors, et cetera.
1:24:37
Oh, so instead of us explaining our
1:24:40
in jokes again and again, Catherine
1:24:42
is suggesting that we do
1:24:45
an equally lengthy referral to
1:24:47
another media. That
1:24:50
takes two steps to guess. Catherine,
1:24:53
first of all, thank you for sending
1:24:55
in your thoughts, but yakking.
1:24:58
Thanks, Kitty. I'm wondering where
1:25:00
the term yakking. I was
1:25:02
thinking more along the lines of informed
1:25:04
conversation or hysterical
1:25:08
exchanges or fun chat
1:25:10
yakking. I'm
1:25:15
a little taken aback by
1:25:17
the word yakking there. It's weird
1:25:19
that that's what you're focusing on, but yeah. Yeah, I
1:25:21
mean, I don't think of myself as a yakker. You
1:25:25
know, when I think yak, I think cats, you
1:25:27
know. Yuck. Yuck.
1:25:31
Yeah, well, thanks for that. And on behalf of
1:25:34
all my listeners, thanks for that. Catherine, it's a
1:25:36
suggestion. It's a suggestion. We're happy
1:25:38
to take suggestions. You know what?
1:25:40
I think a glossary though of our various
1:25:42
tropes in jokes and segments would be a
1:25:44
great idea. I don't know who's got the
1:25:46
time or energy to put that together, but
1:25:48
I know that we have a wonderful fan base
1:25:51
over at the, nobody listens to
1:25:53
Paula Poundstone podcast fan club on Facebook,
1:25:55
the thing that we don't run. And
1:25:57
they're sort of compiling a list of.
1:26:00
what happened and what episodes when. So maybe something
1:26:02
like that will appear in the future. Yes. I'm
1:26:04
going to talk to Sheldon. Captain, we're
1:26:06
going to foist off your request
1:26:08
onto someone
1:26:11
who doesn't get paid. But the thing is, the
1:26:14
fact that they don't get paid means that they're making
1:26:17
more off this podcast than we are. Because
1:26:19
they just, you know,
1:26:22
for their involvement, they just get zero. Adam
1:26:24
and I, you know, we actually
1:26:26
move backwards. We go into the negative.
1:26:30
We're like Democrats on that game. On
1:26:34
that new fun family game,
1:26:36
something's fucked up around
1:26:38
here. Okay. You know what
1:26:40
I love about
1:26:42
Catherine's comment is that when
1:26:45
we refer to it from here on in,
1:26:48
we'll have to explain what happened
1:26:50
on this episode. Yeah.
1:26:52
Yeah. We'll have to say, well, you know,
1:26:55
well, that's going to. Well, not if that's
1:26:57
in the glossary. Yeah. Well, no, we'll have
1:26:59
to say, well, that's going to upset Catherine
1:27:01
and then, and then Bonnie will say, well,
1:27:03
could you explain why who's Catherine, why that
1:27:06
would upset her? And then Bonnie will say
1:27:08
she's the new Heidi. And then Tony will
1:27:10
say, well, who's Heidi? We didn't explain that.
1:27:12
It goes on and on. Deeper and deeper.
1:27:14
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Proving
1:27:16
her point. All right. Tony, I need a hole. Brian
1:27:19
McCaffrey writes into us a lot. I wonder
1:27:22
if that's still a thing that's happening. Oh,
1:27:24
it is. Our good friend, Brian
1:27:27
McCafferty writes, I just
1:27:29
want more of the same sort of thing, but
1:27:32
I'm writing because I enjoy the ads you
1:27:34
do the first time I hear them. I
1:27:36
heard the mattress ad today and
1:27:38
thought that Bonnie's little comment at the
1:27:40
end was especially effective. Moving
1:27:43
on. Paula's Butterfinger song would
1:27:45
be an excellent thing to
1:27:47
atomize for social media. It
1:27:50
has potential for reaching that younger audience.
1:27:53
What is atomized mean? I don't know
1:27:55
what it means either. Oh, atomize is
1:27:57
a reference to our suggestion
1:27:59
from. our guest of two weeks
1:28:01
ago, the social
1:28:04
media expert who said that we should clip
1:28:06
tiny segments of the show and post them
1:28:08
on social medias. Atomize them. I
1:28:13
think that the Nobody Touches
1:28:15
My Butterfingers song that Don't Mess With My
1:28:17
Butterfingers song that Paula recorded is a bit
1:28:19
big to atomize. I think that what we
1:28:21
were talking about was something a little more
1:28:24
bite-sized, if you will, fun-sized. So
1:28:27
for that, we would probably want to atomize
1:28:29
the ringtone that Bonnie
1:28:31
established. Oh, yeah. Is
1:28:34
that a good idea? By
1:28:37
the way, the name of the song, Adam,
1:28:39
is Not My Butterfinger. Not
1:28:42
Don't Touch My Butterfinger or
1:28:45
whatever fantasy title you just... That's
1:28:47
more of their ad campaign. Not My
1:28:49
Butterfinger. Yeah, it's a sharper title. Well
1:28:54
that's a great idea, Brian. I wasn't... sort
1:28:56
of a backhand thing there is from Brian
1:28:58
though. I'm writing because I enjoy the ads
1:29:00
you do the first time I hear them.
1:29:02
Yeah, I noticed that. Did that jump out
1:29:04
at anybody else? Yeah. It
1:29:06
did, but you know what? I couldn't blame them. I,
1:29:09
you know, if I... you
1:29:11
know, I watch a lot of MSNBC and
1:29:13
if I have to see that woman dance
1:29:16
about her diabetes medication one
1:29:18
more time... Yeah. You're
1:29:22
not wrong. Yeah. Tony, you
1:29:24
know, Jeremy Stroud has said that
1:29:26
he would never write to us again and I... you
1:29:29
know, I don't blame him. You know, he's... Jeremy
1:29:31
Stroud is breaking up with us. So
1:29:33
we don't... I don't think we'll ever hear from
1:29:35
Jeremy Stroud again. Do you, Adam? Um, I
1:29:38
think we might hear from him one more time. That's what I'm thinking.
1:29:41
Well, Adam, you're right. Jeremy Stroud, I
1:29:43
thought he was gonna share with us. Yeah.
1:29:48
Well, you know. Wow. What
1:29:51
did he have to say, Tony? What did he have to say? Jeremy
1:29:54
writes, how can you get more
1:29:56
people to listen to the podcast? I
1:29:58
don't know. Maybe... If you
1:30:00
cared about the podcast, get
1:30:03
in the studio, you lazy ass dude. You
1:30:07
put no effort in. Oh,
1:30:10
wow. Wow. All
1:30:13
right, thank you, Jeremy. The
1:30:15
first thing, the
1:30:18
first thing I wanna take issue with
1:30:20
is the lazy ass thing. Just
1:30:24
today, my daughter and
1:30:26
I were following along a
1:30:28
workout video and we
1:30:31
did a lot of group stuff. And
1:30:34
so, I don't think that's what he's talking about.
1:30:36
Yeah, so my ass is not lazy.
1:30:39
I only wish, Jeremy, that
1:30:41
you were, in
1:30:43
fact, you probably are
1:30:45
a Patreon member because the
1:30:48
love that comes out in this suggestion
1:30:51
is palpable. And
1:30:53
so I hope that you can see where
1:30:56
I'm doing this exercise, where
1:30:58
I squeeze one side
1:31:00
of my butt cheeks and then I squeeze the other
1:31:02
side of my butt
1:31:05
cheeks, which I think is positive
1:31:08
that I am not- You put some effort in.
1:31:10
Yeah, and then I'm not a lazy ass. I
1:31:13
do wanna thank Jeremy because in those previous couple
1:31:15
of notes, we were kind of hunting around to
1:31:18
find offense and somebody saying they like hearing it
1:31:20
the first time and people saying the word yakking.
1:31:23
Jeremy made it easy to find offense in this one. Yeah,
1:31:26
no, Jeremy really, for
1:31:28
as long as people have known him, was
1:31:31
never known to beat around the bush.
1:31:33
He just comes right out and says,
1:31:35
get in the studio, you lazy ass
1:31:37
goofs. And that goes on to
1:31:39
say you put no effort in. And
1:31:42
you know, okay, the
1:31:44
part about that that might upset me
1:31:46
a little bit, not enough to call
1:31:48
Tony's brother crying, but the part that
1:31:50
might upset me a little bit is
1:31:52
it actually, I put in a lot of
1:31:55
effort. Yeah. Yeah,
1:31:58
I wanna say Bonnie Burns. is here
1:32:00
with no sleep, an emergency
1:32:03
room visit behind her, and high on
1:32:05
drugs. So
1:32:08
she's putting in the effort. Look,
1:32:11
as far as putting in the effort, for
1:32:13
one I'd say maybe that could be true when
1:32:15
it comes to the book club, Jeremy. I think
1:32:17
I've made my way through. Not true at all,
1:32:19
Jeremy. Not true at all. But
1:32:22
as far as getting back into the studio, I don't
1:32:25
see that as a measure of how
1:32:27
much effort we put in. No. Not
1:32:29
how much driving we're willing to put in to get our
1:32:32
asses together, given how far away from each other we leave.
1:32:35
And not our lazy asses either. By the way, can
1:32:37
you see like one side of me goes up and
1:32:39
then the other side? No, you're doing great glute work.
1:32:43
That's a powerful glute work. You
1:32:45
know what? Okay. Let's
1:32:47
try to look on the bright side of
1:32:49
Jeremy's contribution, which is
1:32:51
we give the parents that we're putting
1:32:53
no effort in. And so what Jeremy's
1:32:55
saying is, you guys make it look
1:32:57
so easy. You make it look easy. Wow.
1:33:00
Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you. Yeah,
1:33:03
like a graceful basketball player. Thank you, Jeremy. Hey,
1:33:05
Tony, Daniel Wallach. He's always there
1:33:07
with a kind and chipper word, isn't
1:33:09
he? Yeah, good old Danny, right? I
1:33:12
just learned that 15 bodies
1:33:14
were found in Ben Franklin's
1:33:16
basement, and I was hoping his ghost
1:33:18
could tell us about why they were
1:33:21
there. Love the show. PS,
1:33:24
I seem to remember that Sergeant Bigelow
1:33:26
wrote a theme song for the Lifehack
1:33:28
segment, and I was hoping to hear
1:33:30
it when the segment aired recently. Adam's
1:33:33
theme song was also fun, though. Also
1:33:36
fun, though. Sounds a
1:33:38
lot like I like it the first time I
1:33:40
hear it. I think he would have preferred Sergeant
1:33:43
Bigelow's, who I think put
1:33:46
together your vagina
1:33:48
song as well. Yeah, he
1:33:50
did. Wow. Yeah, that's
1:33:52
a powerful... We had forgotten about Sergeant Bigelow's
1:33:54
Lifehack song, but we will dig that up
1:33:56
and use it next time. That's actually a
1:33:59
good suggestion, Daniel. because when you guys
1:34:01
send us theme songs, we should be
1:34:03
finding them and using them. Because you're...
1:34:05
You're absolutely right. I'm not saying you're
1:34:07
better than us, but you're better than
1:34:09
us? They're not lazy, askers. Maybe
1:34:12
the podcast fan club could keep
1:34:14
track of the theme songs. You know? We
1:34:17
are like... We are like... We
1:34:19
are like... Hey, hey, hey, hey, Bonnie. We put
1:34:21
them on making the glossary. They can't be doing
1:34:23
the theme songs. Oh, because
1:34:25
we don't... I totally forgot about that. No,
1:34:27
all of a sudden I realized that Jeremy
1:34:30
may have a point. Great,
1:34:34
and as for why Ben Franklin had 15 bodies
1:34:37
in his basement, I don't know. Is
1:34:40
that true? Did I fact check it? Yeah,
1:34:44
you could ask yourself. Ben,
1:34:46
did you... Hello.
1:34:50
Did you have 15 disputes
1:34:52
with... You know, was
1:34:54
it the wig maker? Was it the... You
1:34:57
know, the tin smith? What happened? Oh,
1:35:00
yes. I had many disputes, but
1:35:02
that is not the reason for those 15... Cadavers,
1:35:06
that might have been in my basement.
1:35:09
Ben, do we even know where you lived?
1:35:11
I mean, is your house like a preserved
1:35:13
historic place? I
1:35:16
wouldn't know. I'm dead. Yeah,
1:35:19
but you show up here and there. I
1:35:21
would think that... Only on podcasts. I would
1:35:23
think that the ghost... Trust
1:35:25
me, there is a Ben Franklin
1:35:27
podcast somewhere. I would think that
1:35:29
the ghost of Ben Franklin would
1:35:31
go visit his old house. Well,
1:35:34
not a lot of
1:35:36
good memories there, if you know what I mean.
1:35:38
Oh, because of the 15 dead bodies? Partly,
1:35:41
yes. Yes. It
1:35:47
was a series of unfortunate
1:35:49
accidents. Yeah, obviously. Yeah,
1:35:52
and you know what it might've been? It
1:35:55
might've been his 15 different
1:35:57
assistants helping him with the
1:35:59
electricity. experiments. Yeah. Well that
1:36:01
was part of it absolutely. Yeah.
1:36:04
I sensed them outside wearing metal
1:36:06
suits of armor. You've
1:36:09
never felt the need for like a
1:36:11
proper service. You just buried
1:36:13
them in your basement. Yeah. That gets messy.
1:36:16
That gets messy. I was a busy man
1:36:18
living in Philadelphia by the way. Right but
1:36:20
where you know have you been to the
1:36:22
house? Go Eagles. Yeah.
1:36:27
Not so good but hey. Oh.
1:36:29
Oh good. I know. Yeah. Hey no
1:36:32
spoilers. I've taped the last three years
1:36:34
of games. Um. Yeah. No
1:36:36
they did good. They did good. No
1:36:39
they. Oh good. Good good good. They
1:36:41
weren't good. Yeah. Anyway
1:36:43
I. I don't even watch football. I do. I watch
1:36:47
football now. You didn't even watch football. No I've
1:36:49
been watching a lot of football. It's fantastic. Well
1:36:51
if you two are just going to bicker
1:36:54
among yourselves while founding fathers of
1:36:56
the United States of America is
1:36:58
visiting us and off to a
1:37:00
different podcast. So welcome here
1:37:05
I come.
1:37:08
All right Ben Franklin ladies and gentlemen.
1:37:10
Tony has Liz Corrigan reached out
1:37:12
recently? I'm starting to worry about
1:37:14
her. Oh sweet Liz is
1:37:17
back and writes hello my favorite
1:37:19
people. Question how much of
1:37:21
the show is scripted and how much
1:37:23
is reactionary to Bonnie's comments? Much
1:37:25
love. Your podcast is the best. If
1:37:28
I hadn't just quit a horrible job I would be
1:37:30
on your Patreon. Oh
1:37:33
Liz. That's really sweet.
1:37:36
I think I defer to Jeremy here. In
1:37:40
terms of you know the script. You're
1:37:43
right. Yeah we put. We're lazy
1:37:45
ass people. Yeah lazy ass
1:37:47
goofs. How much you
1:37:49
know we have a framework of.
1:37:52
Yeah we have a framework. We have a
1:37:54
framework of written down stuff. I
1:37:57
don't just come up with those quotations off the
1:37:59
top of my head when I say. throw between
1:38:01
segments so eloquently. No, of course not. I
1:38:03
find, Liz, that
1:38:06
the scripted parts come
1:38:08
out a little more stiff. You
1:38:10
know, the scripted parts don't seem
1:38:14
sincere, so I, you know,
1:38:16
I tend to move away from scripted
1:38:19
parts. You can't read
1:38:21
that next word, Paula. It was parts. Scripted
1:38:24
parts. I, Liz,
1:38:28
I don't enjoy the
1:38:31
scripted parts as
1:38:33
much as I
1:38:36
lick the... Like,
1:38:38
that's like, it's not like. Like the
1:38:42
unscripted parts.
1:38:46
Let me just echo Paula
1:38:48
and say that I also
1:38:50
am a fan of the
1:38:53
spontaneous... Spontaneous. Spontaneous interactions. You're
1:38:56
so right, Adam. Oh no, that's you. Oh, sorry.
1:38:58
You are so right. Adam.
1:39:03
Whose turn is it to
1:39:06
drug Bonnie Burns again?
1:39:08
I guess
1:39:10
it's my turn. You injected
1:39:12
her last. Ha ha ha.
1:39:14
Spontaneous laughter. Ha
1:39:18
ha ha. I'm getting
1:39:20
hungry. What the fuck?
1:39:22
Oh my God. What do you
1:39:25
mean you're getting hungry? I
1:39:27
don't know. It's going on a lot. I
1:39:30
was trying to
1:39:32
make it... But you
1:39:34
know what? You know what? Well, you know
1:39:36
what will fill your belly and your heart?
1:39:39
The words of Patricia Martin, because when she writes
1:39:41
in, it's always a good time for everybody. Am I
1:39:43
right, Tony? Oh yeah. Patricia
1:39:45
writes, my suggestion is to
1:39:47
screen the mailbag entries and eliminate any
1:39:49
that are cruel to the presenters. I
1:39:52
understand you may want to include constructive
1:39:54
criticism, but some people are clearly
1:39:56
angry and don't need to be hurt.
1:39:59
Ha ha. I love you
1:40:01
all. Jeremy. Oh,
1:40:04
Patricia. Patricia, did you hear what
1:40:06
Jeremy said? Lazy ass goofs.
1:40:08
Get back in the studio. Maybe if
1:40:10
you cared about the podcast. Yeah,
1:40:12
tell me. Tell me he had a
1:40:14
normal child bringing up.
1:40:18
Yeah, well phrased Paula. Good thing they
1:40:20
wrote that part. Tell me he had
1:40:23
a normal life
1:40:25
as a child. There
1:40:28
you go. You know,
1:40:30
read another way, Patricia could be saying our
1:40:32
mailbag selection sucks. I
1:40:35
don't think that's true, Adam. I
1:40:40
was just kidding, Paula. By
1:40:42
the way, you know, we pared
1:40:44
down what we were going to read because we get a lot
1:40:46
of write-ins,
1:40:49
which is fantastic. Thank you. We love
1:40:51
the write-in. Who the fuck left Jeremy
1:40:53
in? What the hell? We'll
1:41:00
find that out. We'll begin an investigation as soon
1:41:02
as Bonnie sobers up. Yeah, that's going to take
1:41:04
a while. Hey, well,
1:41:06
that was a ton of fun. And we're at the
1:41:08
end of our time. But hey, listeners, you know what
1:41:11
I'm going to say now, because this is something we
1:41:13
do now. If you want to hear more mailbag extra
1:41:17
edition, we are now going to step
1:41:20
away and record a few more extra
1:41:22
bits of mail from
1:41:24
the bag for our business. For
1:41:26
our Patreon listeners. That's right. You
1:41:28
can go to patreon.com, search Nobody
1:41:30
Listens to Paula Poundstone, and you
1:41:33
can find our fantastic Patreon page,
1:41:35
right full of video
1:41:38
and audio extras, personal
1:41:41
appearances on chat by Paula and
1:41:43
me and soon to be Tony
1:41:45
and Bonnie, and all kinds and
1:41:47
access to exclusive merch. So once
1:41:49
again, that's patreon.com/Paula Poundstone or something
1:41:51
like that. Hey, Adam, let's find another
1:41:53
time to do what was it we
1:41:55
did that night. We did a text
1:41:58
chat. Yeah, let's find another time. to
1:42:00
do a text chat. And
1:42:02
you know, just a
1:42:05
while ago, this is kind of embarrassing that it took us this
1:42:07
long to do it, but just a while ago, we finally
1:42:10
came across with the Zoom party
1:42:12
for one of our listeners
1:42:15
and we had, it was a prize
1:42:17
for winning a contest on the show. A
1:42:19
contest. And it was so damned much fun.
1:42:21
All four of us were on. Right. We
1:42:24
need to have another contest like that. Michelle
1:42:26
says, oh God. Anyway, I'm going to say
1:42:28
it was
1:42:32
Michelle and a bunch of her friends,
1:42:34
uh, cause that's the thing. Uh, people could
1:42:36
win a zoom party, uh, with
1:42:39
up to 50 of their friends could be invited. I
1:42:41
don't know anybody with 50 friends, but she
1:42:43
had a lot. Um, and it was really
1:42:46
a blast. We enjoyed them so much. And so
1:42:48
I say we come up with another contest as
1:42:50
soon as we can, um, to, uh,
1:42:52
to do that again because, uh,
1:42:54
my life needs all the
1:42:57
positives it can get,
1:42:59
you know, uh, yeah. That
1:43:01
is seconded Paula poundstone. Hey everybody, remember to
1:43:03
follow this podcast on apple or wherever you
1:43:06
get your podcast. It's free. And if you
1:43:08
want to know more about some subject or
1:43:10
topic, or you're just hoping to get on
1:43:12
mailbag, well, the address
1:43:15
to write into is nobody
1:43:17
listens to Paula poundstone@gmail.com. And
1:43:19
that is our show. Nobody
1:43:21
listens to Paula poundstone is
1:43:23
hosted by Paula poundstone and
1:43:25
yours truly Adam the Felber.
1:43:27
Thanks to houseband Emily verse
1:43:29
score curse. Thank you on the
1:43:32
saxophone. Our show is produced
1:43:34
by Paula poundstone, Adam Felber, Bonnie
1:43:36
Burns, Ken Lizebnick and Julie Bracobian.
1:43:38
And we are edited by Vic
1:43:40
Lowry. That's
1:43:42
our show for tonight. Won't somebody
1:43:45
please listen to me. Adam,
1:43:49
you forgot to
1:43:51
say that English on
1:43:54
apple. And
1:44:00
I usually said that I figured to give
1:44:02
people a break because Bonnie gave them so
1:44:04
much more homework this week Well, that's true.
1:44:06
She did and honestly, I'm not sure there's
1:44:08
some of these people I'm not sure I
1:44:11
want leaving a review like I hope Jeremy
1:44:13
Stroud isn't listening because I don't think his
1:44:15
Apple Play catch review It will be that
1:44:17
positive. I I think I suspect you might
1:44:20
be right about that. Yeah Oh, but Paula
1:44:22
what I'm more concerned about right now is
1:44:24
you know What happens when you're flying a
1:44:26
kite and then the wind completely dies? Oh
1:44:28
my god. Oh Jesus Is
1:44:30
that Bonnie that is that is what's happening? I
1:44:35
am kind of unwinding. Oh my not a
1:44:37
winding a you're not here and be you
1:44:39
are crashing. Yeah, you're not Yeah, I can
1:44:41
really feel the propeller like going down. Okay
1:44:45
I don't have a propeller. Let's
1:44:48
go Let's
1:44:56
go fly Bonnie burns Yeah,
1:45:00
it really feels like a you're not here
1:45:02
you're yeah, you're not here you're not here
1:45:04
you probably thought you were here because you
1:45:06
are Hi Okay,
1:45:09
well, I thought this was kind of funny. I
1:45:11
know I'm not here But we may not you're
1:45:13
not good. I think any deals for you today
1:45:16
when I was young helmet Once
1:45:19
here, then you guys kept tight. I realized I can't
1:45:22
remember if it was for Providence
1:45:24
or province Great.
1:45:27
It was for what? That's
1:45:30
gonna be that's gonna be a good. Yeah, I
1:45:32
have a feeling I've got a few free shows
1:45:34
coming up Yeah,
1:45:38
and and that you're gonna have to wear a
1:45:40
chicken suit or something. Yeah, exactly Boy,
1:45:42
there's got to be some way of
1:45:44
making her phone not work when she's
1:45:46
like this Well,
1:45:49
she doesn't like this a lot. No, no Yeah,
1:45:53
I think a woman in Lake
1:45:56
Tahoe at that here I know I think I
1:45:58
sense the
1:46:00
same email three times, the
1:46:02
email, the same thing. I know,
1:46:04
I was wired, but hey, I can
1:46:07
say that I'm just like an old lady
1:46:09
who's sort of flippity bitchin' bitchin'
1:46:11
whatever. Yeah, oh, yeah, no, I
1:46:13
think that's a strong business boy.
1:46:15
I think that's a great idea.
1:46:17
Why not just write on your
1:46:19
fucking business card the poundstone brand
1:46:21
for sure. Okay, take all that
1:46:23
out. You can't ask for drunk people where you
1:46:26
can't get into your phone. You have to
1:46:28
solve a really hard issue, the problem. See, I
1:46:30
think that's a... I wasn't drunk. No, you're not
1:46:32
drunk. I still don't believe this. It's the
1:46:34
same concept, Grandma. Yeah, the same concepts that you
1:46:36
could get into your phone if you
1:46:39
were high. I wasn't my
1:46:41
phone, it was email. I'm
1:46:43
surprised you could get into your room today.
1:46:46
I think your code is better
1:46:48
without me in it. I think
1:46:50
you're not here. Yeah, yeah, you're
1:46:52
not supposed to be here at all. Adam,
1:46:55
is there any way you could get... Is
1:46:59
there any way you can get out to
1:47:01
Thousand Oaks and just cut the wires going
1:47:03
into Bonnie's house? Is there any way
1:47:05
you could do that? You had it all. Consider it
1:47:07
done. I'm closer to you. I appreciate it.
1:47:10
Yeah, thank you. Plus, I haven't eaten all day.
1:47:12
I think that's okay. You're a champion. I'm a champion. For
1:47:14
God's sake, get somebody to eat. I do feel mad for
1:47:16
you, Bonnie. I feel sad. Yeah, I feel
1:47:18
a little bit worse for me, to be honest with you. Yeah,
1:47:21
I feel a little bit worse for me, but that's...
1:47:23
Anybody in the medical community that can make it out
1:47:25
to Bonnie's house tonight, we'd really appreciate it. I'm bringing
1:47:27
a flashlight because Adam's cutting the wires to the house
1:47:29
as soon as we get off the clock. Okay,
1:47:32
so maybe for people that are kind of
1:47:34
new to the show, we need to... Hello,
1:47:37
Beth, I'm your manager, which
1:47:39
is a little even more fight. Yes, if you're
1:47:41
new to the show and you've listened to an
1:47:43
hour and 45 minutes of this shit,
1:47:46
and you don't know who Bonnie is, this
1:47:48
is the moment when we should tell you,
1:47:50
she's Paula's manager. This
1:47:53
is the moment that we've come to call
1:47:55
the Catherine Report, which is where we've
1:47:58
explained everything that we said. that comes
1:48:01
from old episodes. Adam? Yes,
1:48:03
Bonnie Burns is Paula Pouncestone's
1:48:05
manager and has been for
1:48:07
about 28 years. Yeah, really
1:48:09
a long time. I just
1:48:12
want to add that neither of you
1:48:14
are here. Because the end of the
1:48:17
show is just Adam and I talking
1:48:19
to each other as listeners
1:48:21
know, which is part of the
1:48:23
Catherine report. It's a coda. Hey,
1:48:26
we want to thank
1:48:28
Helix again
1:48:32
for sponsoring the
1:48:42
show. Go purchase your Helix and thank
1:48:44
me later for your best night's sleep. Thank
1:48:47
me too. I testified Helix is offering
1:48:49
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1:48:52
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1:48:54
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1:48:56
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