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Ep 291 - Love Gone Bad

Ep 291 - Love Gone Bad

Released Tuesday, 6th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Ep 291 - Love Gone Bad

Ep 291 - Love Gone Bad

Ep 291 - Love Gone Bad

Ep 291 - Love Gone Bad

Tuesday, 6th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

This is a Glassbox Media Podcast.

0:06

This episode is brought to you by Bumble,

0:08

who says Valentine's Day is just for couples.

0:11

Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't

0:13

mean you can't get out there and live

0:15

your best love life. That's where Bumble comes

0:17

in. This February 14th, you

0:19

can flip the script and give

0:21

those relationshipers a friendly dose of

0:24

FOMO. Say no to staying in

0:26

this Valentine's Day and yes to

0:28

more. More dates, more first kisses,

0:30

more gossip for the group chat,

0:32

girlies. Do Valentine's your way. Date

0:34

now on Bumble. Three,

0:42

two, one. Alright,

0:47

now it's time to get started. Unless anybody

0:49

has any business before I do

0:52

my intro, I think

0:54

I'll just go straight to the intro this week and

0:56

skip the cold open. Let's

0:58

do that. No, I don't

1:01

believe you for a minute. You don't mean that. I'm

1:06

like Charlie Brown with the football right here. Here's

1:09

the thing. Here's

1:11

the idea. You know,

1:13

like if you had a documentary crew

1:15

following you around and so pretty soon

1:17

you would not be

1:19

aware of the documentary crew, you would just

1:21

be doing your own thing. Your

1:24

own natural thing. That is like, you

1:26

know, normally we sit down, we cue

1:29

in, we see each other and we

1:31

kind of have a little conversation and

1:33

then we go, let's record. It's

1:36

that little conversation that I mean

1:38

the peek behind the curtain for

1:40

people to see. So

1:42

we ruin it every single week by talking

1:44

about it. I was hoping

1:46

you would define it again in this

1:48

episode because that's something that you

1:50

really never... You guys don't seem to

1:52

be getting it. You've never really shed any light

1:54

on that. Well you've never really explained it. No, no, no,

1:57

now I get it. That's the thing. You've never...

1:59

No, it's like... And then once we go,

2:01

okay, should we record? There's just, I think the

2:03

sense of, all right, we're doing this for

2:05

other people. Oh, I see. So

2:07

you wanted it to be just the kind of

2:09

stuff that we were talking about before we went

2:13

on? Oh, so Paula, has that cleared up

2:15

yet or is it still like red and

2:17

oozing? No, it's still oozing. It's still really

2:20

oozing. And I

2:22

wasn't going to say that. No, no, in front of people. No,

2:24

it's just bursting. No, no. But

2:26

yeah, no. I think

2:28

it's okay. Do you see

2:31

this little bit of green? Yeah, the green and

2:33

yellow flesh. Is that supposed to? No, I was

2:35

Googling it. And that is just you should really

2:38

have that looked at. Well, you

2:40

know, I know it. We've

2:45

had a lot of flies in the house. And

2:47

can you see here with a magnet? Yeah,

2:49

yeah, yeah. And that shouldn't have been on

2:51

your body. Okay. Yeah.

2:54

No, it can be. What?

2:59

This is what we were talking about before we started

3:01

recording. This is what Bonnie won. Yeah.

3:04

Yeah. Do

3:06

you mind filling everybody in on your cross

3:08

game? I think it's because

3:10

I've been biking so much, but it's just

3:13

kind of big now. You know what I

3:15

mean? I was wondering what it was, but

3:17

I thought it was like maybe a third

3:19

ball, just kind of like up behind the

3:21

other two. Yeah. Well, thanks

3:23

for showing it to us because I think that. Yeah.

3:26

Take it off. Take it off the look.

3:28

All right. Yeah. Wait

3:32

a minute, Adam. My phone's ringing and I think

3:34

it's this doctor. I

3:41

just took a picture and sent it to him. Yeah.

3:46

He says, hold it. Wait. He

3:48

just texted me. He says it shouldn't

3:50

look like that. So I told you

3:52

that. Yeah. He says, where

3:54

were you riding your bike? They may need

3:57

to put caution tape around that area. who's

4:00

gonna go there but okay. Yeah hold on

4:02

a second I gotta just mop my leg.

4:06

Hey don't let the cat lick it don't let the cat lick

4:08

it that's not good for you. Oh no

4:11

their mouths are very clean. No that's dog's

4:13

mouths that are clean. And that's not even

4:15

really true. Yeah no

4:17

they are. Okay here's my theory.

4:19

So whatever it is that we

4:21

just happened to say before we officially

4:23

start the show that's what it is and

4:26

then we start the show. Well

4:29

mission accomplished. Yeah that was. Tony

4:36

I just want to say the Botox you had.

4:38

Yeah there's a little puffiness

4:42

around the eyes but I don't

4:44

think that's anything to worry about.

4:46

Really good. Yeah I think that's

4:48

gonna help. Search for a husband?

4:53

Yeah yeah

4:55

Tony Tony's

4:58

becoming Sally

5:00

Rogers. And let me just

5:02

say this you're welcome Bonnie here we go.

5:18

Coming to you live from our

5:20

house in Los Angeles California this

5:23

is nobody listens to ball of

5:25

pound stone your comedy field guide

5:27

to life. Tonight another week another

5:29

guest bailing due to an emergency.

5:33

Oh 2024 you definitely seem like a worthy

5:35

successor to 2023. But what do

5:39

you do when you get left at the altar?

5:42

You talk about it we share

5:44

our best dating nightmares in a

5:46

lively round of a segment we're

5:48

calling love gone bad. And then

5:51

maybe we can't fix our former

5:53

loved one but you sure believe

5:55

you can fix us. It's

5:57

time for Mailbag. I'm

6:09

Adam Silver. This shows Love Lord

6:11

John to Sex Tapes standing in

6:14

the rain, outside the window of

6:16

common sense, holding aloft a boombox

6:18

blaring reading of Robert's Rules of

6:20

Order. And now

6:22

please welcome the podcast equivalent

6:24

of everyone's manic pixie Dream

6:27

Girl is Paula Poundstone. Welcome

6:33

Bowl I. Say. Another

6:35

word. I. Want to welcome

6:37

back? Emily. Merce,

6:39

your. No No Verse: Oh

6:41

okay with I said her

6:43

name on for courser Verse

6:45

Chorus Verse Course Curse. Or

6:48

you know, an alley. And is

6:51

ridiculous. Name anti now Paula

6:53

Poundstone. Are okay with I

6:56

say another word. I want to

6:58

welcome fact house band Emily's. Workers

7:01

ah as many workers

7:04

which is. If

7:06

you guys are Harry Potter fans, of course you've

7:08

heard that when in Myanmar, give a book or

7:10

I. Workers

7:13

Oh My God. oh own

7:15

words which and on my

7:17

worst enemies. As his

7:19

mind this tenor saxophone. Emily.

7:25

The Nashville De Sac opponent

7:27

with a passion for the

7:30

increased visibility of women on

7:32

behind and in front of

7:34

stage and a commitment to

7:36

the musical education of generations

7:38

to come. Listeners can censor.

7:41

On the road with Ron Paul

7:43

all across the country starting February

7:45

eleventh. Find Emily schedule and

7:48

projects on Instagram. As. Emily

7:50

and V K Okay, but it's in an

7:53

with. An easy sell. emily

7:55

and was in t v

7:57

k or on our website

7:59

emily AAN with an

8:02

E, vk.com. Oh

8:04

my God, Emily. That was just a thought

8:06

your way through that. It was just two

8:08

sentences, but boy, that was hard. The letters

8:10

and the codes. I

8:14

feel like one of the Navajo code whispers

8:16

or whatever they were. I feel that

8:18

was, whoa, God. Yeah, the wind talkers,

8:21

code talkers. That was what it was,

8:23

wind talkers. I'm exhausted from that.

8:25

So why don't you, yeah, recompose

8:27

yourself, Fall Out Poundstone, because here comes that

8:29

question I tend to ask. Yes. What's

8:32

new, Paula? Well, I'll tell you,

8:34

Adam. You know, I do a lot of interviews, which

8:37

is not really my favorite thing, but I do a

8:39

lot of interviews to promote shows. A lot of drive

8:41

time radio interviews, right? I do a lot of drive

8:43

time radio interviews, and then I do some print interviews,

8:45

and sometimes I do other- With Bob and the Fart

8:47

Man and stuff like that. Yeah, the Mad Man and

8:49

the Lawn Mower in the morning. And

8:51

I do, sometimes I do other people's

8:53

podcasts and that sort of thing. So

8:56

when I was talking with my publicist,

8:59

we were trying to find a time to fit in this

9:01

one. It was a print interview, so

9:04

it was just a person calling me on the phone and

9:06

me talking to that person. And I,

9:09

at the time, thought that

9:11

I was flying to

9:15

Fort Lauderdale, that I would

9:17

arrive in Fort Lauderdale the

9:20

night before this interview, which

9:22

took place on a Friday.

9:25

And so I said, how about 11 o'clock,

9:27

Friday morning? That's

9:30

great, so I'll sleep- This is a peak behind the

9:32

curtain. Yeah, this is really a peak behind the curtain.

9:34

So it turned out that I

9:36

was not flying there the night before.

9:39

I was flying overnight the

9:41

night before, which means that I got in

9:43

at, I don't know, I

9:45

get to the hotel by maybe seven or something in

9:48

the morning, so I was a little tired. And

9:50

so the guy calls, and I

9:53

was sleeping what he called, because I

9:55

used, in the old days, I used

9:57

to accept my alarm and say, have

10:01

this interview, I'll give myself time to get

10:03

up and brush my teeth, maybe

10:05

drink a diet soda, you know, so be

10:07

a little animated and perky, but frankly as

10:09

the years have gone by, I just

10:12

let the phone call wake me up and

10:17

I even do it for radio. It's a

10:19

solid career movie. I even do

10:21

that for radio, so like radio station will call me

10:23

like, you know, a lot of times I do interviews for

10:25

East Coast jobs while I'm on the West Coast

10:27

and so, you know, it's seven

10:29

in the morning for them, but it's four in

10:31

the morning for me and so I just let

10:34

the phone wake me up and they're all like,

10:36

you know, the madman and the lawnmower in the

10:38

morning, you know, which welcome to the morning zone.

10:41

And I'm like, hello,

10:44

hello. Are we reaching

10:46

Paula Pazza? Yeah, yeah,

10:48

I'm really excited to

10:50

come in there. So

10:52

I'm using basically the same technique here, which

10:55

is I allow the phone to wake me

10:57

up, but right away I

10:59

pretend, the guy goes, he goes, is

11:01

this still a good time to call?

11:03

I say, fantastic. And

11:05

so I pretend that I'm wide

11:07

awake. And what I

11:09

last recall was him asking me a

11:11

question and I remember thinking about the

11:13

answer to the question and it wasn't

11:16

anything too tricky. It was like, you know,

11:18

how many dates do you do a year

11:20

or, you know, were you funny in elementary

11:22

school? Right. And I remember reflecting on

11:25

the answer. And then the

11:27

next thing I remember is hearing the

11:29

phone ring again. Oh, you

11:32

fell asleep. I fell asleep. You passed

11:34

out. You passed out. You pulled a

11:37

Felber. It was just like Adam with

11:39

the French people. So I, so

11:42

the guy, so I answered the phone when

11:44

it rings again and it took

11:46

like, I was so disoriented. I had no idea

11:48

why the phone was ringing and I picked the

11:50

phone up and I go, what happened? And it

11:53

has happened. I mean, my phone cuts out a

11:58

lot. Everybody's phone Cuts out a lot. So. Those

12:00

very possible that the phone just cut out

12:02

and that was my fondest hope. Was it

12:04

the phone a close but instead he did

12:06

not know he says i don't know but

12:08

I could eat breathe and for a long

12:10

time to. Go!

12:15

Yes, that is. Is deeply

12:18

humiliating. Ah yeah. And then I

12:20

said to my so what do know I've had this

12:22

oozing sore and my leg for a while and I.

12:24

Never see I might be the impression

12:26

my to go in other parts of

12:29

my body at at at the risk

12:31

of offending my my radio brethren and

12:33

nobody knows more about using source in

12:35

a drive time Dj. Oh. I

12:38

don't watch anime. That's true. I think

12:40

you're thinking of Hunter Brazil using of

12:42

Dj from a long time ago. It.

12:44

You know? No, no. the new D J's a

12:47

very. Fresh, And.

12:49

Recently, they're very hygienic. very.

12:52

I. Do next. The woods smell the

12:54

man, man and more the morning. By

12:58

you guys talking about and wow, What's

13:00

this? How are you guys talking rail

13:02

I don't want to say why, but

13:04

I do want to say. That.

13:07

We have a medicated Barney Burns on

13:09

our hands and the last season's right

13:11

now is immense. The latest? Yeah, She

13:14

really has no idea what's. Going on, see

13:17

that he says i see no idea

13:19

what we're talking about. Simpson trust me

13:21

everybody as he means. It's nice to

13:24

think she's reflecting from personal experience. Clk

13:26

as high as a site and all

13:28

right. So when St. Louis much drips

13:31

out, it's been for yeah. we started.

13:33

I was. I wasn't gonna say. It's

13:35

but since you brought it up,

13:37

I had some kind of interactions

13:40

with some medicine that I'm taking.

13:42

And I was in so much pain by

13:44

three thirty in the morning. We had to

13:46

call an ambulance and I had to go

13:48

to the As Has emergency so it turned

13:50

out loud. Me. I was. I

13:53

haven't I heard that before. I was totally

13:55

telling you before we start. Our

13:58

wow In Nebraska you break him. The

14:00

out on a show is now for rabbits and

14:02

played out. We want to share that person experience.

14:04

With she's so high on.

14:06

This season now said she has no idea I

14:09

don't know felt I love the so he. Said

14:11

you had to take the ambulance to

14:13

the hospital because that's really where they

14:15

go. They. Find

14:19

that very that you've ever heard about to

14:21

like I was feeling low last night's or

14:23

to the ambulance to to the discussion Yeah

14:25

exactly this so I took an ambulance they

14:27

took money in and out burger that that

14:30

know that they don't they take them to

14:32

that. Turned out to be a blood

14:34

sugar as and given they're gonna take

14:36

you to the hospital anyway anywhere to

14:38

catch everybody up in case you're wearing

14:40

body is okay, she's fine human interaction

14:43

with a medicine. however they did rent

14:45

or high as applied and sleepless and

14:47

that is the conditions in which Ronnie

14:49

Earns is coming to is on Tonight

14:51

show God help us off. Or

14:54

a suit. It can be hard to turn this show

14:56

around and. Around and

14:58

as is the trains or the ambulance her

15:00

smile down Left a while and. Ss.

15:07

Reference: Maybe a little dated for

15:09

but for some of our listeners,

15:11

but. Okay, you remember in

15:13

the movie mass. When they

15:15

were trying to get whole john. Who.

15:18

Was the South Korean kid

15:20

that worked around the mass

15:23

hospital they were trying to

15:25

get whole. John not enlisted.

15:28

In. The military and so they dragged

15:30

him up. And they

15:32

took him from his own test for

15:34

his physical with the military and of

15:37

course the military would have anything to

15:39

do with them because he was lost.

15:41

On. It or got. And yeah,

15:44

no, I have no memory of that

15:46

know, married or well. As for if

15:48

anybody wants his, check it out and

15:50

then put a pitcher side by side

15:52

with body burns. That's exactly what she

15:54

looks like. A success. and

15:57

just elyria yeah i do have kind of

15:59

red cheeks Just because she's

16:01

delirious doesn't mean we don't care about

16:03

her literary opinion because it's time for

16:05

me to call To

16:09

order our book club Your

16:14

gavel is a little weak. Oh,

16:17

it's time for me to call to order That's

16:21

nice our book club Oh

16:31

happy day Happy

16:35

day We

16:40

got a book Bookie

16:44

bookie book We

16:48

got a book She

16:55

wasn't high at all when she recorded

16:58

this Bookie

17:00

bookie bookie book Bookie

17:02

bookie bookie book No

17:08

medication was wasted in the recording of

17:10

that theme song Absolutely

17:12

not it was all used now In

17:16

the interest of doing what we always do

17:18

I want to summarize the last two chapters

17:20

of JD Salander's immortal classic catcher in the

17:22

rye But I want to

17:25

add to it this week By

17:27

starting first by summarizing the book club

17:29

itself Follow

17:33

read something that sounds amusingly close to catcher in

17:36

the rye but not catcher in the rye Bonnie

17:39

read the cliff notes, but still thinks that counts

17:41

Although might not have read anything if she was

17:43

in the hospital and Tony figured hey, it's the

17:45

last week I wasn't caught up last week. I'll

17:47

just put up with a censure and not read

17:50

the end of it this week Leaving

17:52

me as the guy who read the end of catcher

17:54

in the rye if I'm wrong Issue

17:56

your objections now. If not, let me summarize

17:58

the actual last two chapters. Hey look at

18:00

the silence. I read. I've been doing the reading the

18:02

whole time. I

18:06

bet you have. And so in the last

18:08

two chapters of Catcher in the Rye we

18:10

learned that Holden Caulfield is falling apart physically

18:12

now as well as mentally. He makes

18:15

an effort to write a note to his sister

18:17

and give it to her at school to let

18:19

her know that he's moving out west. He's literally

18:22

got this feverish plot to move out west. She

18:25

shows up at the park to say goodbye to him with

18:27

her suitcase. She does not want him to go unless she's

18:29

going with him. They fight. They

18:32

reconcile. He watches her on the

18:34

merry-go-round. He gets drenched. He's

18:36

obviously super sick at

18:38

this point both physically and mentally. And

18:40

watching her on the merry-go-round he's very

18:42

happy. And then we get like a

18:44

one-page epilogue that is I guess

18:48

weeks or months later he's in some

18:50

sort of institution recovering from what was

18:52

obviously some sort of

18:54

physical and or mental breakdown. And

18:56

he's going to be going back to school in the

18:58

fall and that's the end of Catcher in the Rye.

19:01

It looks like there might be hope for him. He realizes

19:04

he misses all those people. And

19:07

he realizes he misses everybody in his life which

19:09

is his way of saying that he misses his

19:11

dead brother without mentioning him. And that

19:13

is the end. She didn't get that vibe. Well you should

19:15

make the book next time. Yeah

19:18

well I guess Cliff Notes didn't get

19:20

that. But that is that is where

19:22

Catcher in the Rye ended. Paula Poundstone,

19:25

how did you feel about the final

19:27

two chapters of J.D. Salinger's Catcher in

19:30

the Rye? Well I don't know if you

19:32

can see the tears in my eyes from where

19:34

you are but it was when

19:38

Betsy realizes that there's very

19:40

little anyone can do for Lisa if

19:42

Lisa does not want to help because

19:44

of Mrs. Schilling Lisa is beyond the help

19:46

of her three best friends. And

19:48

Dr. Donovan meets with

19:51

Mr. Bernstein. Betsy

19:53

wonders how productive their meeting

19:55

will be and later Dr. Donovan has

19:57

dinner with Betsy and the Goodman family.

20:00

This is the part that just really

20:03

spoke to me. Mr. Goodman tells

20:05

Dr. Donovan of his personal experiences

20:07

with Lisa Schilling and the next

20:10

morning, Betsy Elizabeth, M.N. and Dr.

20:12

Donovan-Lern that Lisa was hospitalized for

20:14

taking an overdose of PILT. This

20:17

is, I mean, the symbolism here. Okay.

20:20

It's very, I found

20:24

the whole thing very moving. I

20:27

related to, well, frankly, Lisa.

20:31

Okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah. And

20:33

it's just a, you

20:35

know, beautiful conclusion. I

20:40

can't even figure out what you read just there,

20:42

but that's not Catherine DeRae at all. There's

20:44

nobody named that. Mr. and Mrs. Schilling's

20:46

Eyes. Wait, what book? Catherine

20:48

DeRae. Oh, for Christ's sake. By J.D. Salinger.

20:51

All right. Well. What was that? Lisa

20:54

Bright and Dark. I

20:57

don't even understand that one. How

20:59

could you read Lisa Bright and Dark rather than Catherine

21:02

DeRae? It was a book that we had to read

21:04

in high school, wasn't it? Not

21:07

me, personally, but why would

21:09

you confuse those two? Lisa Bright and Dark.

21:12

Yeah. I know. I

21:14

just grabbed it off the

21:16

shelf of stuff I was supposed to read

21:18

in high school. Oh, wow. Oh my

21:20

God. Wow. Well, it was very

21:22

moving anyways. So

21:25

it wasn't what... It would surely

21:27

open Mr. and Mrs. Schilling's Eyes to Lisa's

21:29

pain and suffering. Yeah.

21:32

You know what? I... This

21:34

is kind of a happy day. Oh, happy

21:37

day. Because for the first time in the

21:39

history of our book club, someone has managed

21:41

to clean sweep a perfect

21:43

slate of being centered every

21:46

single installment of a book club.

21:48

Paula Poundstone, congratulations. How do you

21:50

feel? You know what? It

21:52

was a fantastic book. All

21:55

of it. I mean, the book about Ry,

21:57

the Bob Muecker book. You've

22:00

had the time you've written the book Catcher

22:02

and Arai with the W. Yeah, I can't

22:04

even remember all of them anymore. But, uh,

22:07

catch me if you can. Catch me if

22:09

you can. Um, uh, sure. The

22:11

lyrics from the bread song. It's all

22:13

just been, um, it's

22:17

just been fantastic. The whole... It's been

22:19

a wonderful journey of hilarious and ironic

22:21

misunderstandings, culminating in Lisa Bright and Dark.

22:24

So, that's amazing. I'm hoping

22:26

that Bonnie gets to choose the book, you

22:28

know, not infrequently because this really

22:30

was, this really was meaningful and

22:33

deep and I felt... Right.

22:35

I felt seen. A lot of people go ahead and

22:37

read the book that the book club has assigned. Yeah,

22:40

no, I did. I read the book. It was great. Um,

22:44

okay. So, let's move on then to our Bonnie.

22:46

I didn't think, I didn't, you know, I don't

22:48

know, when you said he was a wreck

22:50

physically, I'm not sure that I noticed that so

22:52

much. In fact, I didn't even really notice so

22:55

much that he was a wreck mentally. He seemed

22:57

okay to me. Jesus

23:00

Christ. Well, what was the thing that

23:02

he did that was so shocking? Physically

23:06

or mentally? I mean, like physically

23:09

he was, he was sweating. He

23:12

fainted in the bathroom and then got up

23:14

after hurting his arm. He sweat profusely some

23:17

more. He tried to eat and could not.

23:20

Every time he like laughed or moved, he felt like

23:22

he was going to throw up. He

23:24

had to sit down several times. He

23:27

had a self completely feeling

23:29

awful. Not going to be any

23:31

slept overnight on a park bench

23:33

in the rain. No,

23:36

he slept overnight on a bench in

23:38

Grand Central Station for an hour or

23:40

two. Oh, okay. Grand Central Station. So

23:47

far, I feel like it's a day in

23:49

the life. I'm not. Yeah,

23:55

well, not everybody feels that way. Bonnie Burns,

23:57

how do you feel about it? Now, I

23:59

don't. a point to asking if you read

24:02

the chapters because you've let us know over the last

24:04

few weeks that you feel like your time on this

24:06

earth is just not long enough remaining to waste

24:08

your time reading classic good literature. So

24:10

you've been reaching for the Cliff Notes.

24:13

No, I said- So I'll just ask the question I

24:15

don't want to ask, which was how do you feel

24:17

about the Cliff Notes of the last two chapters of

24:20

Catcher in the Rye? Okay.

24:23

I have two responses,

24:25

okay? So, and

24:27

now I forget. See, that's a problem. It's

24:29

like two continuous things I have to remember.

24:32

Yeah. And then two. Okay,

24:35

okay. Here's

24:38

the thing. I'm really glad

24:40

I stuck with the book. Because I

24:42

really, really, really like it. I really

24:44

like it. And I thought

24:46

the ending was so masterfully done. I

24:48

can see why this is a classic.

24:51

And the one thing that really made

24:53

me laugh was when,

24:56

let's just hold on. Did he

24:58

want to go to Wyoming where

25:00

he doesn't know anybody and act

25:02

like he's mute? I just thought

25:04

was a perfect, so

25:08

concise of what this kid's struggle

25:10

was about finding this place in

25:12

life. That's

25:14

really well done. I mean, you almost

25:16

sound like somebody who read the book

25:19

with that. No, she didn't.

25:21

Okay, I will say this. I

25:23

did read the book for the summary,

25:25

but then I was so intrigued by

25:28

what they said. I went and actually read, well,

25:31

most of the last two chapters. Oh,

25:35

fucking shit. In

25:40

fact, I think whatever reaction she

25:42

had, I think when she got to the hospital,

25:44

they said, well, what medication you were on? And

25:46

she told them what medication she was on. And

25:49

they said, well, you know, rarely people can

25:51

have a bad mix of that medication and

25:53

Cliff notes from catcher in the rye. Is

25:55

that possible you mix those two things? And

25:58

she said no. Yeah. Absolutely,

26:00

you lied about it. Absolutely. No,

26:04

I've been reading Catch from the Rye. I

26:06

bet most of the people in the ER were fans of the podcast

26:08

anyway. Oh, surely. I didn't

26:10

say I was on a podcast. You

26:12

don't even know what you said. You were so high.

26:16

Well, that's a problem. Yeah,

26:18

because I find that when you need emergency medical

26:21

attention or trying to get a good table at

26:23

a restaurant mentioning you've got a podcast is like

26:25

a ticket to... Oh, yeah.

26:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, golden ticket.

26:31

You slip the metadata dollar and say,

26:33

you know, there's less

26:35

where that came from. I have a podcast.

26:39

Speaking of a dollar, Tony, I bet my money on

26:41

you not reading the end of Catch from the Rye.

26:43

Am I wrong? It was sad.

26:47

Did you read it? That you didn't read it?

26:50

Okay, I didn't. Yep. Oh,

26:53

my God, Noah. Centuries

26:57

for everybody. I try to remember how

26:59

it ended. This doesn't

27:01

work for everybody, but one way of knowing

27:03

how it ends is reading it. I know.

27:06

But that's not for everything. I

27:08

did find it sad though when you were talking about it.

27:11

Oh, I see. Uh-huh. Oh,

27:13

my gosh. Okay. Wow. We

27:16

are the worst book club that has ever existed. Once

27:18

I got behind, I couldn't catch

27:21

up. Tony actually donated what

27:23

was it, stem cells? Yeah. In

27:25

order to avoid the book club. That is

27:27

extreme. That is really amazing. I

27:29

really feel the stem cell people. I was on a

27:31

podcast. Did you? Yeah. Yeah,

27:34

that made them so attentive. Were

27:37

they impressed? Well, my

27:39

nurse Anthony said he loved Paula

27:41

and he would have to take a listen because he loved...

27:44

Oh, it's great. Well, welcome, Anthony. I

27:47

hope you really enjoyed this. All

27:49

right. Do we have any closing thoughts on Catch

27:51

from the Rye? I mean, actually on the book, just

27:53

for a second, because we did

27:55

come into here thinking a couple

27:58

of us really loved it as kids. And does

28:00

it hold up? Is it still a book that people

28:02

should be reading? My answer,

28:04

personally, is yes. I think it's a great

28:06

portrait of somebody in a lot of pain

28:09

trying to figure out how to make his way in the world. Also,

28:12

it made me laugh out loud a couple of times.

28:14

I was surprised at how funny I still found Holden.

28:17

I'm on the fence. Bonnie, you're

28:19

on the fence. Obviously, the

28:22

book knocked you into the Cliff Notes version

28:24

about three-quarters of the way through. Like

28:27

I said, my time's valuable and getting older

28:29

and I did the Cliff Notes. But

28:33

I got the basic thing. I get it.

28:35

I know how well-written it was. I know

28:37

the narrative story and I know the story.

28:40

I now know that book. So,

28:42

if you were going to watch The Wizard of

28:45

Oz and somebody said to you, okay,

28:47

it's Judy Garland when she was young. She

28:49

has ace bandage around her breasts so she

28:51

looks young. It starts out

28:53

black and white. The house flies up in

28:57

a tornado and then it lands

28:59

and she, you know, figures

29:01

out how to get back home and it turns

29:03

out it's a dream. That would be, you'd

29:06

feel like, okay, good, because boy, I'm

29:08

getting older. I don't have time. I mean,

29:10

that's not a satisfying way to take in a

29:12

piece of art. No, it's not.

29:14

I would say when you were talking,

29:16

that would really be doing that movie

29:18

a disservice. Don't you think it. That

29:21

would be you in the movie a

29:23

disservice. But when it comes to a

29:25

novel that is thought

29:27

of as one of the classics of the 20th century,

29:29

you're like, this

29:31

black and yellow pamphlet does the

29:34

job just fine. It's

29:36

like eating vitamins instead of

29:38

eating food. You know,

29:40

this Cliff Notes thing that you're doing. No,

29:43

I agree, but I'm better

29:45

informed. That's

29:47

true. Undeniable. If the choice

29:49

is nothing. I realize

29:51

that was the choice, but that wasn't the

29:53

choice. Don't

29:56

leave the club. A

30:01

compact that we make with each other and

30:03

all our listeners that we're going to read a book

30:05

together as a family for one. We read a book

30:07

together. I liked

30:10

it. There. Well,

30:12

there. We got that going for us. You

30:15

know, I do think, because J.D.

30:17

Salinger wouldn't let it be made if a

30:19

movie, I think it would be a very

30:22

difficult movie to make and cast. Well,

30:24

I liked how he talked. So I

30:26

think that that would be... I don't think

30:28

it would be so hard to cast, but I don't

30:31

see that as the crux of the problem. But

30:34

I liked his narration. And

30:37

if you're not hearing his narration, you're seeing people

30:39

act it out. Then I think it

30:41

would be a big missing element.

30:44

And then... Oh, that's a really good point. Yeah,

30:47

you would probably need him to be the narrator.

30:49

And I don't know that enough happens in the

30:51

book. I'm taking the Bonnie Burns approach. I don't

30:53

know if enough happens in the book to make

30:55

it into a... He does get beaten up by

30:57

the elevator operator slash pimp. Yeah.

31:00

And he does get hit on by his

31:02

old teacher. But other than that, that's about

31:04

all the action that takes place. He dances.

31:06

In the movie, they would make the getting

31:09

beaten up by the elevator operator

31:11

like this really lengthy

31:13

bloody battle. That would

31:15

be... It would be so blown out of

31:17

proportion. Yeah. Yeah. No,

31:20

I don't think it's a good idea to let movie

31:22

people touch this. All right, you guys. We got to

31:24

start talking about what our next book is going to

31:26

be. No, we are not going

31:28

to talk about that. I need a good

31:31

month to recover from this one. I got

31:33

it. But with that in mind,

31:35

let me call this installment of the Bookie Bookie

31:37

Book Club to

31:41

a close. I'm really

31:43

glad. Okay. So

31:46

is America, Bonnie. So

31:48

is America. Happy day. Happy

31:51

day. Happy day. Happy day.

31:54

Happy day. Come on, clap

31:56

along. Oh, Jesus,

31:59

morning, morning. Oh my god. Boogie,

32:03

boogie, book club.

32:07

We gotta do this. We're gonna do this.

32:09

There's your general page. Um. You

32:13

know. I

32:15

feel like... I feel like...

32:19

Oh, I'm leaving. A

32:22

boogie, boogie, book

32:24

club. I

32:28

feel like for the duration of the

32:30

podcast, Bonnie should be on one of those

32:32

harness leashes that people use on their kid

32:34

in the airport. Um.

32:37

Just to make sure she's... Yeah, but she's

32:39

just gonna go toddling off. Yeah. Make sure

32:41

she doesn't wander away out onto the runway

32:43

or something. Um. Okay,

32:46

I have one more thing. Oh

32:48

boy, she has one more thing. I know

32:50

it's been a long segment so I probably

32:52

shouldn't come in with this. But last week,

32:54

Bonnie and I... I know. But I guess

32:56

Vic could move it to the dentist.

32:59

I see. And he thought

33:01

it was too long in this one.

33:03

Okay. Last week, Tony and

33:05

I gave an oral report on Alfred

33:07

Nobel. Well, Alfred Nobel and then in

33:09

dynamite. And I said that his brother

33:12

Ludwig was blown to pieces

33:14

in a dynamite accident

33:17

in one of the factories. And

33:19

then Tony said, no, it was the

33:21

brother Emil. So I went back, I

33:24

did a little research. I

33:26

had gotten the fact about Ludwig

33:28

from the Boston Review. But

33:31

it was Emil, who

33:33

was a big oil tycoon and became

33:35

the richest of any of the Nobels.

33:38

But I mean, in all fairness, Ludwig

33:40

didn't really have a chance to earn

33:44

all the money he could have. But

33:47

it wasn't Ludwig. No,

33:49

it was Emil. Oh my God.

33:51

Oh, that's what I meant, Emil. Well, you know,

33:54

I'm working under a hand. Yeah. No,

33:56

I feel... I'm so glad you took a moment

33:58

to go back to that because you... cleared

34:00

it up. I was, you know, there

34:02

was a lot of confusion. Yeah,

34:05

now, now we are informed and still confused. But

34:12

as long as we're doing program notes,

34:14

I want to do a couple of

34:17

others before we break, which is, one

34:19

is last week, of course, we had

34:21

the amazing crossword puzzle constructor Andrea Michaels

34:23

on the show. And wouldn't

34:25

you know, just about the day that last

34:27

week's show dropped, Andrea Michaels

34:30

was announced that she's going to

34:32

be receiving the Merle Regal Memorial

34:34

Award from the ACPT, which is

34:37

the big American crossword puzzle tournament.

34:40

She's got their Lifetime

34:42

Achievement Award. She's going to be

34:44

receiving it at a ceremony, and it is going to

34:46

be a presentation and a video. So

34:49

we didn't know we had an award

34:51

winner on the show with us, but

34:53

Andrea, congratulations. Congratulations, Andrea.

34:56

Okay, yeah, that is cool. So I have to say,

34:58

Adam, you said that they are

35:01

so dropped, Andrea. And I

35:03

thought you were going to say Andrea dropped.

35:06

I kind of did that, too. I got to tell

35:08

you why. Okay,

35:12

so you guys both went to a dark

35:14

place. I don't know what Tony's excuse is.

35:18

I just felt so like you kind of

35:20

heated up. It sounded like something bad was

35:22

going to happen. Yeah, no,

35:24

Andrea. Oh, no,

35:27

no, she received the sort

35:30

of top prestigious award among crossword

35:33

puzzle constructors. It's a

35:35

Lifetime Achievement Award, even

35:38

though her lifetime is nowhere near over,

35:40

except for in the minds of Bonnie

35:42

Burns and Tony Needleholt. Wow,

35:46

boy, they really have just the energy

35:49

you want to have at a party,

35:51

don't they? Yeah,

35:53

really. Yeah, they do. It's pretty amazing.

35:55

And one other program note, a lot

35:57

of listeners pointed out how, you know,

36:00

you know miss nancy called into our uh...

36:02

our podcast last week and it would

36:04

and i think behind the curtain sometimes

36:06

we do some post-production on those phone

36:08

call to to sweeten them up and

36:10

a lot of listeners pointed out what

36:12

a great job our editor vick did

36:14

on that phone call uh...

36:16

it just sounded great i've listened

36:18

to it though and i want to point out

36:20

and vick i've said nothing best

36:22

things about you on this podcast they

36:25

just absolutely i do have

36:27

to point out that last week when the kid

36:29

russell started speaking up uh...

36:32

from the background and miss nancy was

36:34

talking to russell in the background vick

36:36

it sounded like you might have kidnapped

36:38

a fifty-year-old man gagged him and stuffed

36:40

him in your closet and had to

36:42

have him record the voice of russell

36:45

uh... so so it's

36:47

an interest of everybody uh... an

36:51

interest of everybody hearing what i'm talking about vick

36:53

could you play a little bit of russell talking

36:55

in the background from last week that

36:59

the hundreds caller Wednesday biographical tour of

37:01

the places that made me the man i am well

37:06

i live in valley village california russell

37:09

wants to know if you are the

37:11

village idiot russell sit down but

37:22

but that aside vick again our

37:25

favorite new addition to the podcast you do such a

37:27

great job we really can't but

37:29

let that poor guy out is my note you

37:32

know guys alfred lord tenison

37:34

wrote it is better to have loved and

37:36

lost than never to have loved at all

37:39

but that's because i'll never dated michelle who broke

37:41

up with me for no reason on new year's

37:44

eve and

37:46

it was the same new year's eve

37:48

tales of love gone bad when

37:51

we come back and then after that mailbag

37:54

fixer upper edition it's all coming

37:56

up wait wait wait Man!

38:03

It's a reparative. Alright

38:07

Paula. I'm

38:09

still playing. Yeah. We can't

38:11

hear it on the zoom. Oh, fuck you. On

38:19

this day in unremarkable history,

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from different sports or leagues. For example

43:51

LeBron James and Travis Kelsey had a 10.5 combo three

43:53

points made plus receptions. Do I get that?

43:56

Kind of a little bit. PrizePix even offers

43:58

a reboot policy so that your entries stay

44:00

in play even if one of your players

44:02

gets injured. For football and basketball, if you

44:05

have a player who exits the game in

44:07

the first half and doesn't return in a

44:09

second, that player is rebooted. So it's

44:12

like an insurance policy. Go to

44:14

prizepix.com/nobody and use code nobody for

44:17

a first deposit match of up

44:19

to That's

44:21

prizepix.com/nobody and use code nobody

44:23

for a first deposit match

44:26

of up to And

44:28

then drop by and see how I did with

44:30

the Greek freak and harden again on January 3rd.

44:33

My hopes are not that high.

44:35

Prizepix, daily fantasy sports made easy.

44:39

And we're back. Thank

44:45

you to tonight's house band

44:47

Emily, Verskore Curse. Thank

44:50

you so much, Emily. Your

44:52

name is not that hard to say. Paul on

44:54

the power stone. Is it? Okay, Verskore Curse. Which

44:58

is the accent on, do you think? Verskore

45:01

Curse or Verskore Curse?

45:04

Well, I know curse is a separate name.

45:06

There's a hyphen between Verskore and curse. So

45:08

I didn't realize that. Oh, yeah.

45:10

I didn't realize that. That

45:12

changes everything. Emily Jones. That's

45:16

Verskore. That's not her name. Verskore

45:18

Curse. Verskore Curse. Verskore Curse. Yeah, it's

45:20

like Verskore but with an extra C.

45:22

Hey. Now, it is

45:25

time, as I said, we

45:27

didn't manage to get our guests onto the show this

45:29

week. He had an emergency. He had to get to.

45:31

We will have him on on a different day. But

45:33

we do have a brand new segment that's just given

45:36

the fact that Bonnie's been drugged,

45:38

I am sure this segment is

45:40

going to go great this time

45:43

for our tales of love gone

45:45

bad. Okay.

45:49

So when I was in the hospital, I was

45:51

trying to think of like, okay, what could the

45:53

theme song be? And the only thing

45:55

I could watch the only thing I could think of now

45:57

is we've got a book club. Song

46:00

after my hat. But do

46:03

not play that song, Tony. So

46:07

I think the one I came up

46:09

with is pretty lame, so if it could

46:11

take this out, maybe Paul and Adam can come

46:13

up with something. You say

46:15

tomato and I say

46:17

tomato. You say potato

46:19

and I say potato,

46:22

tomato, potato. Hey,

46:24

tomato, tomato, potato, potato,

46:27

potato, let's call the

46:29

whole thing off. That

46:32

sometimes comes out how I'm feeling about this

46:35

show tonight. Absolutely.

46:40

You know, let that stand. I love it.

46:43

All right. It's perfect. Love

46:46

Gone Bad. And let's start with

46:48

our first tale of Love Gone

46:50

Bad. These are dating nightmares that

46:52

happen in relationship. And we're starting

46:54

with our own Cupid

46:56

herself, Paula Poundstone.

47:00

All right. So many, many years ago, I was

47:03

working clubs and I decided

47:05

to try for the

47:07

first time I'd ever done this, going

47:09

out on the road

47:11

for an entire month. What

47:15

I did before was I'd go clubs

47:18

used to be I mean, this is the 80s,

47:20

the early 80s when, you

47:22

know, the comedy club scene was really

47:24

hot. And they were very small

47:26

venues, by the way. But nonetheless, it was very hot.

47:30

You know, the stand up comedy, some might say.

47:33

Some might say I don't know that they'd be correct,

47:35

but some might say it. No, I would say it.

47:39

No stopping some. So

47:42

but generally the way it worked back

47:44

then was you would you know, you'd

47:47

leave home on Wednesday. You might

47:49

do a show Wednesday night, Thursday night, maybe

47:52

two shows Friday, maybe three

47:54

shows Saturday, either a show

47:57

or two shows on Sunday.

47:59

That's. how, you know, in

48:01

one club in one location. And

48:04

then I used to fly home on

48:07

Monday and usually

48:10

and then fly out again on Wednesday.

48:13

And Jesus, what a life. Some

48:15

booker, I forget who it was now, but

48:17

talked me into doing

48:20

a whole month without

48:22

coming home. And,

48:24

you know, that's what bands do, but

48:26

bands have equipment. No, not

48:29

cost effective for them to come back

48:31

and forth. A hundred percent. So

48:35

I tried this and it

48:37

turned out, I never did it

48:39

again. Turned out it made me

48:42

absolutely miserable. Wow.

48:44

So I, but I'm

48:47

on this trip. Now it's the day

48:49

at the end of the month that I am

48:51

coming home and I'm so excited to be coming home.

48:53

I forget what airport I was at, but anyways, on

48:56

the other side of the country, I'm sure. And

48:58

I get to the airport and somebody else had

49:00

set this up for me. You know,

49:03

some booker, I get to the

49:05

airport and they tell me that I

49:07

don't have a ticket and

49:10

I'm dying to go home

49:13

and they say, yeah, no, you know.

49:17

And I think I had like literally a

49:19

couple hundred dollars profit from

49:21

this time that I had been out for

49:24

this whole month. I'm currently

49:26

terrified to see how this becomes

49:28

love gone bad. Oh, no, this

49:30

is a beautiful love story. So

49:33

I'm tearing up again. Hold

49:38

on. I'm going to call

49:41

Tony's brother. All

49:43

right. So I'm, I

49:46

think I did start to cry actually because I, so

49:49

they say to me, well, you have to buy a new

49:51

ticket. I

49:54

don't think I had a credit card back then. I think I

49:56

gave them the cash that I had. And

49:59

now I. And now I had like

50:02

a dollar fifty. And it

50:04

turns out that there wasn't another flight to

50:07

Los Angeles for twelve hours.

50:11

So I have a dollar fifty to

50:14

my name and I

50:16

have to spend twelve hours in

50:19

the airport. And

50:22

at some point I went

50:24

to a bar

50:27

in the airport and I

50:29

sat at the counter. I can't remember if I

50:31

spent my dollar fifty or if I just asked for

50:33

water. I don't recall. But I sat

50:35

there and I had this poster that

50:38

I'd gotten at the Smithsonian. It was

50:40

a twelve, it was a poster that

50:42

was divided into parts and the parts

50:44

connected together made a twelve foot long

50:46

poster that was a

50:49

timeline history of the world. I got

50:51

it at the Smithsonian. It was fabulous. That sounds

50:53

fantastic. Yeah. It was fantastic. I

50:56

wish I could get one again. But I had that with me and

50:59

I'm sitting at this bar and I'm just as depressed

51:01

as I can be. And it

51:03

was like a real darkened bar. And

51:08

you know, think like Perry Mason. It was a really

51:10

darkened bar. And I'm

51:12

just sort of chit chatting with the bartender

51:15

for no good reason. And

51:17

the bartender comes over to me and he says, the guy

51:20

at the end of the bar there, and

51:22

I kind of glance over, would like to buy you a

51:24

drink. You know, my first

51:26

instinct was no, thank you, no. But

51:30

I had, you know, I thought, you

51:32

know, who am I to turn

51:34

down a drink from this

51:36

guy? So I said, that's very nice.

51:38

And I forget what I ordered. I can't remember

51:40

anymore. I said, that's very nice of you. And I

51:43

kind of gave him the high sign. Well, he took

51:45

that to mean that he should come

51:47

sit with me, which I guess is what it means.

51:49

I don't know. That's kind of what it means. Yeah.

51:52

I've never done that because it feels so I would never do anything

51:54

like that. But I'm pretty sure that's what it means. Yeah. I'm

51:57

not a big dater. So no, that's just

51:59

important. footnote here. Yeah, yeah, I'm

52:01

not a big data and I may

52:03

have done this wrong. I admit that

52:05

openly. So he moves down, is a

52:08

heartbreaking story because it's, you know, the

52:10

love bond was so strong. So

52:12

he moves down the bar and

52:14

he sits beside me and

52:16

he begins, you know, conversation

52:18

and I'm answering his questions.

52:20

I forget what they were now and

52:24

at some point he

52:27

suggests that

52:29

I might be a man and that

52:33

you could become one or that you might at

52:35

that moment be a man. That I am at

52:37

that moment a man. Okay.

52:39

And he

52:41

suggested suspiciously like

52:44

as if I was trying to pull a fast one on

52:46

him which I don't know what that would have been. I

52:48

said no, I'm a woman. At

52:52

which point he reaches

52:54

down and grabs

52:57

me the way that Trump

52:59

has posted that he does. And

53:03

in doing so

53:05

he smushes my

53:08

poster. And I

53:10

was so pissed about the poster that

53:13

I just broke up with him. I just, really?

53:16

Yeah, I did. It caught you the whole relationship?

53:18

Yeah, it did. I just said I don't want

53:20

to see you anymore. And, you

53:23

know, he was heartbroken. It wasn't an easy thing

53:25

for me to do because, you know, the love

53:27

bond had grown. And,

53:30

you know, I've grown accustomed

53:33

to his face. I mean, I, you

53:37

know, I miss him. I miss him. Richie,

53:40

if you're out there, Paula

53:42

Poundstone doesn't

53:44

care about the poster anymore. Come back

53:47

home. Yeah, come back. I

53:49

may have said some things that I didn't mean

53:51

in the heat of the moment. I'd get

53:53

your hand off of my poster.

53:57

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

54:00

really grabbed you right by the

54:02

Trump the Trump and oh okay

54:05

and and then he said

54:07

these loving words that I think

54:09

he got directly from Shakespeare

54:12

sonnet okay he

54:14

said I just had to check I just

54:17

had to check what an ass oh no no

54:19

no now that I've you know grown up a

54:21

little bit I you know I thought he was

54:23

an ass at the time but now that I've

54:25

grown up a little bit I've just I've

54:27

come to really understand him and

54:30

yeah you know and I feel like I

54:32

was just immature that's it so Richie if

54:34

you're out there I was just immature come

54:36

back she was just immature come on back Richie yeah

54:38

I don't know he must have been super drunk I

54:40

don't know what he thinks the next thing that happens

54:42

is after he checks yeah

54:46

yeah I don't see how

54:48

how he sees that going well after that I'm

54:51

sure you know I think the loved one was

54:53

so strong that he didn't really think it through

54:55

he was just yeah he was an imp he

54:58

was impulsive and wild the way you

55:00

are you know in the early stages

55:02

of a deep and meaningful relationship absolutely

55:04

yeah yeah did he think

55:06

he was picking up a guy I think

55:10

he wanted not to I think he wanted not to pick

55:12

up a guy and I think when he got up close

55:14

to me I looked better

55:16

from a distance let me just say that when

55:22

he got up close to me he's began not to

55:24

trust his initial instincts but I

55:28

you know I have many times since then put

55:31

personal ads in the newspaper you

55:34

know saying if you like fina coladas

55:36

and you like walking in the rain

55:39

and I'm hoping I can find him that

55:41

way if

55:43

you grab the JJ's

55:46

at airports okay

55:50

your initial instincts Richie

55:52

it's me so

55:56

that's a beautiful love gun that's a love

55:58

gun bad story that's a beautiful tale

56:00

of love and sexual assault. That's awesome.

56:03

Thank you, Paula. Yeah. Um, because she's

56:05

so mortified she can't breathe right now,

56:07

I'm gonna call Tony Needle Hall next.

56:10

Tony Needle Hall, let's hear your story of

56:12

Love Gone Bad. Oh my God,

56:15

there were so many to choose

56:17

from. But anyway,

56:19

I wanted to think about if people heard this

56:21

and they knew who I was. Anyway, ah, or

56:23

knew my identity. I guess I've worn as my

56:25

identity anyway. Oh, we are really identity. Um, really,

56:27

I don't want my, like, it's not something I

56:29

want my brother to like hear. Oh, I see.

56:31

Well, just the incident of the show. Um, occasionally.

56:35

Yeah. He won't hear this.

56:37

Yeah. Um. No, well, I'm not, I'm

56:39

gonna keep it Jeremy Hall friendly.

56:41

Okay, so. Okay, Tony, would you help

56:44

if I translated it into

56:46

Pig Latin? So

56:53

I was living in New York City and I

56:55

was working at a theater and

56:57

I, um, I worked box office and

57:00

concessions like, uh, like a stage theater

57:03

and, um, the mint

57:05

theater company. There still

57:07

exists today. And

57:12

I was working concessions and intermission and this guy like

57:15

asked for my phone number. I came up first name.

57:17

I could probably, I could picture him with clear say.

57:19

So I gave it to him. He calls me. I

57:21

go out with him. Jerry, Jerry,

57:25

and, um, he, like we, he

57:28

picks the restaurant and we go

57:30

and then he gets up and he goes to the

57:32

bathroom for like a really long time,

57:34

which is fine. Jerry J.

57:37

Athram Bay. He's

57:40

like ordered for us, which is not my

57:42

thing, but I was like, whatever. And then

57:44

the wrong with guys. Wow.

57:47

I got a thousand stories.

57:49

Um, and the chat comes

57:53

and listen, I do not care about

57:55

paying, but I didn't order anything. And

57:57

he was like, can we? Can

58:00

we flip this? And I was like, sure, it's

58:02

cool. Ah! So we split it, and then we

58:04

went to see a show, a little off-Broadway show.

58:07

Oh, shit. And he tries

58:09

to hold my hand during the show, and

58:12

I just keep moving away from him and

58:14

tucking my hand away. And

58:16

then after the show, he's walking me to

58:18

the subway stop. And

58:21

he was trying to hold my hand again, and

58:25

I was like, it used to be

58:27

like I put in the pocket of my jacket, whenever.

58:30

And so it was like, good night. I would have

58:32

taken out a cleaver and just cut my hand

58:34

off. That's, I mean, if I had a cleaver,

58:37

I would have probably done that.

58:39

Yeah, here, take this and leave. Yeah,

58:41

okay. And so I, so I'm

58:43

like, okay, goodbye. And I

58:45

turn around and he grabs my face. Oh!

58:49

And he says, may I? And

58:51

I screamed, no, shoved

58:55

him and ran away. What

58:59

here was this? Oh,

59:01

yeah. And then do you know what?

59:04

No joke. Three days later, called left me

59:06

a voicemail, said he would love to see

59:08

me again. Oh my gosh! So for him,

59:10

that date went pretty well, which makes you

59:12

wonder about his other date. Yeah. He

59:15

was, he was a season ticket

59:17

holder, and he came in like

59:19

the next production we had. Wow.

59:22

And I had to hide behind

59:24

the counter and like beg the

59:27

stage manager to cover concessions.

59:29

Wow. It's like no one, no

59:32

one could get popcorn for the longest time. When,

59:34

what year was this? Oh my

59:36

God. It was probably 2000. Who

59:39

did I live with at that time? 2000,

59:41

late 2005, early 2006. Long

59:48

after every man in America should have known better. That

59:50

was the year that they found the guy laying

59:52

in front of the subway station. How

59:54

the crap! Knock

59:57

over. I had been knocked over. Still I

59:59

had ever... holding a face while

1:00:02

i don't like like

1:00:04

i shut away and i

1:00:06

would like now we

1:00:09

are i mean who would have thought that

1:00:11

we would do a segment about love gone

1:00:13

bad and there'd be all these stories about

1:00:15

assaulted men and

1:00:20

perfectly that's the way off-color

1:00:23

thing like i think i'm actually going to go

1:00:25

to jersey city to say if i forget that

1:00:27

night we had enough to make you not

1:00:30

want to even hold it and i think it's

1:00:32

like well should you be like i don't know

1:00:34

if you'd be going alone and i'm and

1:00:36

i don't know there is something that is like a little

1:00:39

yeah that's horrifying had

1:00:41

he showed you his act uh...

1:00:47

well i don't know the first thing yeah

1:00:49

you know i mean you know you're saying

1:00:51

probably award well

1:00:53

that one was that was cheery alright well

1:00:56

you know everybody aris dot all said love

1:00:58

this composed of a single soul inhabiting two

1:01:00

bodies which is either beautiful

1:01:02

or the creepiest hillbilly shit i

1:01:04

ever heard more love gone bad

1:01:06

when we come back the

1:01:14

cat of the week is percy

1:01:16

from lisbon maine congratulations percy and

1:01:18

good luck This

1:01:25

episode is brought to you by Bumble, who

1:01:27

says Valentine's Day is just for couples. Just

1:01:29

because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean

1:01:32

you can't get out there and live your

1:01:34

best love life. That's where Bumble comes in.

1:01:37

This February 14th, you can flip

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the script and give those relationshipers

1:01:41

a friendly dose of FOMO. Say

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no to staying in this Valentine's Day

1:01:46

and yes to more. More dates, more

1:01:48

first kisses, more gossip for the group

1:01:50

chat, girlies. Do Valentine's your way. Date

1:01:53

now on Bumble. Fun

1:02:04

fact, the little

1:02:06

dot over the letter I is called

1:02:09

a tittle, but not to

1:02:11

its face of course. Now,

1:02:20

against my better judgment, let's go to our

1:02:22

drug addict over there in

1:02:24

the Simi Valley. Bonnie Burns, what's your story

1:02:27

of love gone bad? You know, I had

1:02:29

one I was going to tell, but now

1:02:31

I think it's like such a

1:02:33

bonus. Really? I've

1:02:36

had about me, a downer about

1:02:38

me. In comparison to these? Honestly.

1:02:41

Yeah. Maybe I should tell one

1:02:43

that... You're learning a lot about love tonight. Yeah. You're

1:02:45

welcome back. All right. I'll tell

1:02:48

this. It's really embarrassing, but I can't think

1:02:50

of anything else to come up with right

1:02:52

now. Tell it. Feel free to make something happen.

1:02:54

I'm going to have to cover my face to tell this. Okay.

1:02:56

I'm in the way. You guys, look up in the

1:02:58

sky. Do you see that thing near the kite? Is

1:03:00

that... What do you think that could be?

1:03:02

That's Bonnie. Yeah. Right

1:03:04

next to the... You know, I don't

1:03:07

think I'm going to get any sleep tonight because I

1:03:09

am wound up so... I

1:03:12

can tell you're wound up tight, but let

1:03:14

me help guide you through this. You're in

1:03:16

the ninth grade. I'm in the ninth grade.

1:03:18

Okay. And I meet a

1:03:20

guy named Rob Gentry, who was like

1:03:23

my first real

1:03:25

love, like one of those people you

1:03:27

see him and I was like dreamy

1:03:29

and I hadn't had those feelings for somebody

1:03:31

before. My mom was not happy

1:03:34

that he wasn't Jewish, so I kind of had

1:03:36

that shadow over me. But

1:03:38

I'm like feeling in love with this

1:03:40

guy. Was it Rob Gentry or Rob

1:03:42

Gentile? Rob

1:03:45

Gentry to me, but

1:03:47

it's not just rubbing your face in

1:03:49

it for God's sakes. Okay. So

1:03:51

anyway, we even got like matching shirts. I

1:03:53

think that was kind of in the era

1:03:56

when the girl and the guy would get like

1:03:58

matching shirts. together. I

1:04:00

don't remember that but I'd

1:04:02

go to his football games in his fall

1:04:05

and the leaves I watch him play and

1:04:07

all that so you know I read in

1:04:09

Seventeen magazine like things you do to go out

1:04:11

with a guy one of them was you

1:04:14

make chocolate chip cookies I invite him

1:04:16

over to our house for making chocolate

1:04:18

chip cookies and you know my mom

1:04:20

like walking by with that kind of

1:04:22

look like yeah not crazy about this

1:04:24

okay so anyway he walks he's walking

1:04:26

me home from school I first walking

1:04:28

me home from school and we have

1:04:30

like this kind of

1:04:33

hill run outside our a

1:04:35

picture window in the

1:04:37

family room and I'm standing there with

1:04:39

him and he's holding my books and

1:04:42

I'm thinking is this guy gonna kiss me

1:04:45

or am I supposed to

1:04:47

reach up and tip him

1:04:49

but then maybe he'll think I'm

1:04:51

cheap because I'm forward

1:04:56

and then I see my mom

1:04:58

standing behind the curtain and peeking

1:05:00

out okay so

1:05:04

I do nothing next

1:05:06

thing I know that Rob

1:05:08

Gentry is going out with Vicki

1:05:10

Green which is kind of known

1:05:12

as like the fast girl at school oh yeah and

1:05:14

so I thought

1:05:17

you know what Vicki Green probably like just

1:05:19

a first before he did it and she

1:05:21

was fast so I lost him it so

1:05:23

broke my heart this is that

1:05:25

part that I went I'm

1:05:27

never gonna let that put myself

1:05:30

in a position where a guy

1:05:32

can hurt me like that again oh

1:05:34

that's that's very early to make that declaration

1:05:36

I think that I

1:05:39

wrote this poem about

1:05:42

the world being a tragedy

1:05:44

this world is a tragedy what

1:05:46

is said I'll always be forgotten

1:05:48

stuff like that okay oh

1:05:50

my god I leave it out next

1:05:53

to my diary because I

1:05:55

want my mom to see that I

1:05:57

am really upset ball and I have to say that I

1:06:00

get over to school the next day and

1:06:02

she goes, I read

1:06:04

your poem, you misspelled tragedy. Ha ha ha

1:06:06

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

1:06:08

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

1:06:10

ha ha ha That's an awesome story Bonnie,

1:06:12

are you kidding? I read your name, that's

1:06:15

an abdict. That was great. You

1:06:17

know, I wish Bonnie, I wish for

1:06:19

you that your future self could

1:06:21

have told your 9th grade

1:06:23

self as a balm to that tragedy,

1:06:26

as a balm to that sadness, that there was

1:06:28

going to be a shower in your future. Oh ha ha ha

1:06:30

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

1:06:32

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha A

1:06:34

shower with somebody that puts

1:06:36

Rob Gentry to shame. You're almost

1:06:39

out. Yeah. That is not zero

1:06:41

myself. It's zero my own. Your

1:06:44

mother would have loved him.

1:06:47

Absolutely. You ever see

1:06:49

him in monotonyterist? He was great. Alright

1:06:52

I've got one, I've been scouring my brain to

1:06:54

find ones that might be of a lighter tone.

1:06:56

The other time I grabbed this woman by the

1:06:58

face. And the other time I grabbed

1:07:00

this woman by the vagina. Oh

1:07:03

my god. And

1:07:06

the other time when I did nothing and went with

1:07:08

the fast girl. That was you? I

1:07:10

didn't recognize you. You know, it was all

1:07:12

the way across. I didn't recognize you.

1:07:14

Also I went by the name of Richie at that time. Oh

1:07:17

yeah, Richie. Richie.

1:07:21

So here's one, I hope it's funny. I'm just trying to

1:07:23

find one that kind of like spreads the floor

1:07:25

a little bit as they say in the NBA.

1:07:27

It gives people a different look. Okay so I'm

1:07:29

in college and I start I

1:07:32

guess you'd say hooking up with this woman

1:07:34

who lives in my dorm but we also

1:07:36

do shows together and she's just drop

1:07:39

dead gorgeous. In fact,

1:07:42

oh my god, she's absolutely not Fanny

1:07:44

Bryson. You're going to discover why in

1:07:46

just a moment. Fanny Bryson. I'm

1:07:48

going to call her. I'm going to call her. Maybe

1:07:50

Schnucks were going at it. Yeah go ahead. I'm

1:07:52

going to call her Lisa Dortmund is what I'm going to call her. I'll

1:07:55

find out why in a minute. And she's

1:07:57

beautiful and she's funny. and

1:08:00

she's bright and dark and she's actually bright

1:08:03

and she is dark but some reason to

1:08:05

believe that she's not entirely honest but I'm

1:08:07

willing to overlook that because we're having a

1:08:09

great time together and here's where it turns

1:08:11

a little bit here at some point around

1:08:14

the time we first hooked up we

1:08:16

discover that basically our parents

1:08:19

had they had the chance would have

1:08:21

killed each other what

1:08:23

do you mean? because I am the

1:08:25

son of a Holocaust survivor who left

1:08:28

Germany when he was nine years old

1:08:30

really a Jewish man and and

1:08:33

Lisa was the daughter

1:08:35

of someone who had been as

1:08:38

she put it in the Hitler

1:08:40

Union. What

1:08:42

Lisa said to me is

1:08:45

oh but he left Germany like you know

1:08:47

they fled when he was like four or

1:08:49

five years old because you know his father

1:08:51

wasn't into it and he was like four

1:08:53

or five and and so that's not really

1:08:55

a thing and so rather

1:08:57

than being concerned me and Lisa just kind of

1:09:00

enjoyed the idea that like look at this 40

1:09:02

50 years later the daughter

1:09:04

of a sort of Nazi and the daughter of

1:09:06

a Holocaust and the son of a Holocaust survivor

1:09:08

can hook up in school and it's all cool.

1:09:11

It's a beautiful story. It should be a

1:09:13

beautiful story but it's not and here's

1:09:15

why now my dad came to

1:09:17

America at the age of 10 and this is

1:09:19

an important detail you would never have known he

1:09:21

was an immigrant when you met him because he

1:09:23

had this big round Midwestern accent because he was

1:09:25

raised in Cleveland Ohio and as everybody knows if

1:09:27

you get to a new country or start a

1:09:30

new language by the age before the age of

1:09:32

12 you can speak

1:09:34

entirely without an accent so my dad got

1:09:36

here when he was nine Lisa's dad purportedly

1:09:39

got here when he was five so a

1:09:41

couple of weeks later it's parents weekend

1:09:44

at my college and I'm

1:09:46

in the dorm and I know that Lisa's

1:09:48

dad is coming to visit and for some

1:09:50

reason he has not been told

1:09:52

about me so I'm probably not going to meet

1:09:54

him because he doesn't want his daughter to be

1:09:57

dating I guess I don't know what reason

1:09:59

why Here's

1:10:01

the thing, I'm hanging out in my dorm one

1:10:03

day about to walk out the door and this

1:10:05

man walks in who looks like a 50 year

1:10:08

old version of Rolf from

1:10:10

The Sound of Music. Because

1:10:13

I'm the only guy

1:10:16

there, like he's big and he's blonde

1:10:18

and blue eyed and he's got this

1:10:20

amazing Teutonic bone structure and he looks

1:10:22

older than I would have, I didn't

1:10:24

think it was Lisa's dad

1:10:26

because he looked older than he should

1:10:28

to be her dad. And

1:10:32

all of a sudden he says

1:10:34

to me, excuse me, you can't

1:10:36

help me to find Lisa Dortmund?

1:10:42

Like the thickest fucking German accent you've

1:10:45

ever heard. Wow. And you

1:10:47

know, subsequently I went to the library and looked it

1:10:49

up and you couldn't even join the Hitler Youth before

1:10:51

you were 10 years old. So

1:10:53

I don't know when Lisa's

1:10:55

dad came to America, but

1:10:58

he was more of a Nazi than I'd known

1:11:00

at that point and it made our relationship a

1:11:02

little awkward afterwards. Well, at least

1:11:04

you guys could sing I Am 16

1:11:07

Going On 17 together. That's

1:11:09

nice. Yeah, but she always sang it You Are 16

1:11:12

Going to the Camps Now. Okay.

1:11:14

Oh my God. Watch,

1:11:17

this is just you saying it. That

1:11:19

is really bad pace. Wow.

1:11:23

That crossed the line. That

1:11:25

crossed the line. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Looks

1:11:28

funny telling us what crosses the line. Okay, wait. You guys

1:11:30

look up in the sky there. Do you see that kite?

1:11:33

Yeah. Yeah. And

1:11:35

then above that kite. Yeah. Above

1:11:37

the kite now? Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:40

That would be Bonnie. Well, now that we've bared our souls, what

1:11:42

could cheer us up better than you, our beloved listeners,

1:11:45

telling us how much we suck.

1:11:48

It's Mailbag's Fixer Upper Edition

1:11:50

when we come back. Wait, wait, Adam.

1:11:54

Yeah. Say it

1:11:56

again. It's Mailbag's Fixer Upper Edition

1:11:58

when we come back. And

1:12:04

now a news

1:12:06

update from the dental chair.

1:12:15

Hey Hank, they found

1:12:17

A'Lelia A'Harsh's airplane. This

1:12:21

has been a news update from the dental

1:12:24

chair. Thank

1:12:27

you Houseband Emily

1:12:29

Verskor Kurs.

1:12:45

Remember to check out Emily's schedule

1:12:47

and projects on Instagram at EmilyAnVK.

1:12:52

Or on her website emilyanvk.com.

1:12:57

And hey everybody, you know what, we're getting

1:12:59

together sort of best of things, collections that

1:13:01

you guys can check out. So what we

1:13:03

want you to do is let us know

1:13:05

what's your favorite bits from our show over

1:13:07

the years. Your favorite segments.

1:13:09

Write in, let us know at Nobody

1:13:12

Listens to Paula Poundstone at gmail.com. There's

1:13:14

going to be fierce competition

1:13:16

from bit to bit. Fierce competition.

1:13:18

Oh I think everybody's going to say love

1:13:20

gone bad. I like it. Yeah, love gone

1:13:23

bad. I like love gone bad but I

1:13:25

got to tell you this is a thing.

1:13:27

It's been like 30 plus years that

1:13:30

women have told me their bad

1:13:32

dating stories. And I'm still amazed

1:13:34

every week about how, every time

1:13:36

I hear something about how much

1:13:39

my gender sucks. Yeah, boys. Boys.

1:13:45

It's not the team I would be playing on

1:13:47

if I had my druthers because that's a shitty

1:13:49

team. So

1:13:51

hey, Paula Poundstone, let's talk about

1:13:53

things that are not shitty which is going to

1:13:56

see live comedy in

1:13:59

this climate. Uh, Adam, as

1:14:01

you know, I'm a stand-up comic,

1:14:04

and I work in theaters all over

1:14:06

the country, so naturally, I encourage people

1:14:08

to come to shows all year

1:14:10

long. Uh, nothing new there.

1:14:13

But really, March is

1:14:15

a slog of a month when people

1:14:18

can really use laughs.

1:14:20

It's cold, raw, sometimes

1:14:22

muddy, slushy, gray. It's

1:14:24

a hopeless time. But

1:14:27

guess what? I'm a first responder. Woo

1:14:29

woo woo woo! Have

1:14:31

another night! I'll

1:14:34

be in Hartford, Connecticut, and Infinity

1:14:36

Hartford on Saturday, February 24th.

1:14:39

I know that's not March, but it's close enough. So

1:14:42

go to polypalanstoned.com preemptively

1:14:44

to get your tickets. Then,

1:14:47

whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop, I'll

1:14:49

be in Keene, New Hampshire, at

1:14:52

Colonial Theater on Saturday, March 2nd. It's

1:14:54

the most important time to laugh. Go

1:14:56

to polypalanstoned.com to get your tickets.

1:14:58

Woo woo whoop whoop

1:15:01

whoop! Then, I'll be

1:15:03

on my way to Chicago to the

1:15:05

Studebaker Theater on Friday, March 15th.

1:15:08

Going through March without laughs is

1:15:11

like playing hockey without pads. Get

1:15:14

your tickets, get your laughs at polypalanstoned.com.

1:15:16

Wow, well, I'll try to make it

1:15:18

to all those, Paula. Maybe I'll just

1:15:20

buy one of those Amtrak passes. That's

1:15:23

a good idea. Yeah,

1:15:25

all right. Adam! All

1:15:27

right, well, we're going to move... Adam! Yes?

1:15:29

What? I was thinking... Yes.

1:15:33

I was thinking we could play a little board game. You and me? Yeah,

1:15:35

you and me. It's a brand

1:15:37

new family fun board game called

1:15:39

something's fucked up around here.

1:15:42

Oh. Yeah,

1:15:44

so I know we're not together. We're

1:15:46

in, you know, Adam's in his house. I'm in my

1:15:48

house. So I'll play for you.

1:15:51

But what color token do you want? Blue,

1:15:53

please. Okay, all right. I'll

1:15:55

take red. I'll go first. No, no, you go first.

1:15:57

You go first. first.

1:16:00

I'll roll for you. Oh,

1:16:03

yeah. Okay. Oh, look, you okay, you

1:16:05

got seven. Okay, when you

1:16:11

land on that space, you pick a

1:16:13

Republican card. Here it is here in the center. Okay.

1:16:16

Oh, here it is. Thank you. You invite and

1:16:18

encourage an angry crowd to attack the

1:16:20

Capitol and try to incite them to

1:16:22

hang your vice president. Move

1:16:25

forward three spaces. Oh,

1:16:27

that's good. Okay, move me forward.

1:16:29

Okay, good. All right, my turn.

1:16:31

Roll the dice. Let's see 12345.

1:16:33

Pick a

1:16:38

Democratic card. Okay. Okay. You

1:16:40

trip on the stairs to Air Force

1:16:43

One. Go

1:16:46

back 10 spaces. Wow. Wow.

1:16:48

We were just at the I was

1:16:50

at five. So now I'm actually negative.

1:16:52

They're off the

1:16:55

board. I'm on the treadmill for heaven's sake. Weird

1:16:57

because I would think tripping on Air Force One

1:16:59

wouldn't be as bad as the but there, you

1:17:01

know, that's what you think, huh?

1:17:04

Okay, so I'll roll for you again. Okay,

1:17:06

okay. Four, two,

1:17:08

two, two, it's great. Good for you.

1:17:10

One, two, three, four. You

1:17:14

get to pick a Republican card.

1:17:16

Again. Oh, good. Good. It

1:17:19

says you steal highly classified documents

1:17:21

from the White House and engage

1:17:23

maintenance employees to hide them from

1:17:26

the FBI. Move forward

1:17:28

five spaces. That's forward. Did

1:17:30

it say forward five? It

1:17:33

did. It did. Okay. My

1:17:35

turn. My turn. You

1:17:37

think that would set you back. You would

1:17:39

say you would say you're back, but it

1:17:41

doesn't seem to. All right. I'm rolling dice.

1:17:43

Uh, and, uh, okay. Three, one, two, three.

1:17:46

Oh, no. It's still off the

1:17:48

board. You might roll again. Let me

1:17:50

roll again because you're right. Okay. Let

1:17:52

me try again. Okay. Roll. Okay. Six.

1:17:54

That's better. One, two, three, four, five,

1:17:56

six. Oh, look at that. Pick

1:17:59

a Democratic card. You

1:18:01

pass an infrastructure bill that

1:18:03

provides long overdue repairs to bridges

1:18:05

and internet to remote areas Go

1:18:11

back ten spaces go back Wow

1:18:14

spaces this man. This is what's the

1:18:16

name of this game again? Uh, something's

1:18:19

fucked up around here See

1:18:23

what's going on? Okay. I don't see how I

1:18:25

can win. Okay your turn Adam All

1:18:28

right. Well for me. Okay, you're all

1:18:31

for you. All right Here

1:18:33

we go. Six one two, three,

1:18:36

four five six I can't

1:18:38

believe it you land on another hard

1:18:42

space All

1:18:45

right, let me read it for you you

1:18:47

spend your entire presidential term Crowing

1:18:49

about infrastructure week and

1:18:51

do nothing plus your son-in-law

1:18:55

Employed as your advisor in the White

1:18:57

House made two billion dollars off the

1:18:59

Saudis on the way out, which has

1:19:01

never been explained Okay,

1:19:03

that can't be good. No, let me

1:19:06

clear the way so you can move

1:19:08

back. Wait, what the fuck move ahead

1:19:10

ten spaces Yeah,

1:19:13

did I win I just win you

1:19:16

did oh my god, look at that. There you are

1:19:18

right in the Wow. Oh, wow

1:19:22

Jesus that is not an easy game. It's

1:19:24

something fucked up right here. Yeah, you

1:19:26

know, it doesn't there's something fucked up

1:19:28

around here Yeah, whoa.

1:19:31

Okay. Well So

1:19:33

what now? I well

1:19:37

Now that we've had that lovely little break for

1:19:39

a terrific board game It's time to give our

1:19:41

listeners their say in a segment that we like

1:19:43

to call You know, it doesn't even make any

1:19:45

sense at least in shoots and ladders

1:19:49

You know, you get out on the shoes and you go up the ladders.

1:19:51

This doesn't make any fucking sense, you

1:19:53

know Well, that's but I think the title of the

1:19:55

game kind of lets you know what's going on. Yeah,

1:19:58

but it's just right. It's it's ridiculous You

1:20:00

bought the game Paula. Yeah, it just it doesn't

1:20:02

yeah I thought it would you know in trivial

1:20:04

pursuits you you know you move forward you get

1:20:07

a pie slot I don't know what the I

1:20:09

don't get this is really I don't

1:20:11

even know how you cheat on this game I don't know

1:20:13

how you cheat except for now, you

1:20:15

know, just now it seems like the cheating

1:20:17

is all done before the game Yeah, he's

1:20:19

always you know, if you could somehow make

1:20:21

it so you always land a Republican space.

1:20:23

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead I'm you know,

1:20:25

okay. It is now time everybody for a

1:20:27

mailbag. Oh, wait. Wait, hold on Yeah,

1:20:31

I don't know why you'd be ready for this.

1:20:33

We've been previewing it and billboarding it all show

1:20:35

Okay, but you know here look she's wheeling out

1:20:37

her concert clock You know

1:20:39

in the trouble game you push the button

1:20:41

in the center makes the ice bounce

1:20:44

and then you go problematic Yeah, and

1:20:46

you use the problematic exactly and then

1:20:48

you go around them But I don't

1:20:50

it seems this is something fucked up

1:20:52

there. There's something fucked up Around

1:20:55

here going on there. All right Fixer

1:21:01

upper edition Yes

1:21:03

Now, of course, this is an edition

1:21:05

where you know There are some positive

1:21:07

comments coming from you guys but also

1:21:10

some some really helpful hints on how

1:21:12

to improve the relationship between us the

1:21:15

Podcast and you the listeners and I'm sure you've

1:21:17

got some real constructive things as well as some

1:21:19

great compliments and here to tell us All about

1:21:21

it to read us is Tony

1:21:23

Anita Hall step on up Tony.

1:21:26

Okay, so the first ones from Dave Hodge Dave

1:21:29

writes a recent correspondent talked about

1:21:33

NLT PP as a glimmer of light in

1:21:35

the darkness of Tuesday. We all

1:21:37

know about TGIF But

1:21:39

have you heard of so

1:21:41

happy? It's Tuesday. Oh, that

1:21:44

is such That is such

1:21:46

a sweet idea Dave. Thank you that I

1:21:49

is it Paula. Yeah If

1:21:52

you bother figuring out what the anagram of so

1:21:54

happy. It's Tuesday is Oh What

1:21:57

I hadn't H. Yeah. Well, I

1:22:00

SH I'm sorry

1:22:02

I missed a no

1:22:05

I know what Bonnie is not a

1:22:07

bad at compliment so messed

1:22:09

up on painkillers right now she couldn't possibly

1:22:11

put that together I don't know what my

1:22:14

excuse is Bonnie is so messed up on

1:22:16

painkillers that it made you miss that that's

1:22:19

how bad it is you know what I'm a little

1:22:21

concerned about Bonnie you didn't make any deals for me

1:22:23

today did you you know what I actually

1:22:27

did fucking face for

1:22:29

you oh shit that is not

1:22:32

good news that is NGN and I

1:22:34

actually corresponded

1:22:36

with the people at

1:22:38

Harris and Tahoe today

1:22:40

about your date yeah

1:22:42

I don't know I would leave

1:22:45

a note for yourself to reread those

1:22:47

emails before when you wake up tomorrow

1:22:49

morning Bonnie because then yeah I have

1:22:51

a feeling Paula might be playing a

1:22:53

clan rally or something yeah SH

1:22:56

IT Dave what we at

1:22:58

least think that taste in my mouth

1:23:00

well don't eat it okay wait a

1:23:02

minute wait a minute our friend

1:23:09

Andrew Michaels who was on our episode last

1:23:11

week who just won the lifetime

1:23:13

achievement award from the crossword

1:23:16

puzzle people for for

1:23:18

constructing crossword puzzles I don't know

1:23:20

she could have figured out Dave's

1:23:23

so happy it's Tuesday that that

1:23:26

he teed it up perfectly by

1:23:28

saying TGIF and yeah boy

1:23:30

I party why I told you I didn't

1:23:32

it flew right over man Tony

1:23:34

I'm wondering if Catherine Hobart has

1:23:37

ever said anything to

1:23:39

us you know constructively of course she

1:23:42

did Kitty fam as some

1:23:44

might know her right sure

1:23:46

I have a tiny suggestion

1:23:48

for a change to NLT

1:23:51

PP I don't do

1:23:53

social media apologies so maybe you

1:23:55

already do this but I think

1:23:57

to increase listenership on NLT you

1:24:01

should add to your website a

1:24:03

headline like Clue Me In or

1:24:06

something similar. And when during

1:24:08

the podcast, instead of lengthfully explaining

1:24:10

to new listeners what past comment

1:24:12

or event you're referencing, you

1:24:14

could say, are you a new listener? Welcome,

1:24:17

go to our website and check out

1:24:19

the Clue Me In section to understand

1:24:21

what the heck we're asking about. You

1:24:24

could alphabetically arrange major topics

1:24:26

including, but not surely limited to,

1:24:28

Adam's improvisation history, Bonnie's

1:24:31

Halloween phobia, construction

1:24:33

overdrive of Paula's neighbors, et cetera.

1:24:37

Oh, so instead of us explaining our

1:24:40

in jokes again and again, Catherine

1:24:42

is suggesting that we do

1:24:45

an equally lengthy referral to

1:24:47

another media. That

1:24:50

takes two steps to guess. Catherine,

1:24:53

first of all, thank you for sending

1:24:55

in your thoughts, but yakking.

1:24:58

Thanks, Kitty. I'm wondering where

1:25:00

the term yakking. I was

1:25:02

thinking more along the lines of informed

1:25:04

conversation or hysterical

1:25:08

exchanges or fun chat

1:25:10

yakking. I'm

1:25:15

a little taken aback by

1:25:17

the word yakking there. It's weird

1:25:19

that that's what you're focusing on, but yeah. Yeah, I

1:25:21

mean, I don't think of myself as a yakker. You

1:25:25

know, when I think yak, I think cats, you

1:25:27

know. Yuck. Yuck.

1:25:31

Yeah, well, thanks for that. And on behalf of

1:25:34

all my listeners, thanks for that. Catherine, it's a

1:25:36

suggestion. It's a suggestion. We're happy

1:25:38

to take suggestions. You know what?

1:25:40

I think a glossary though of our various

1:25:42

tropes in jokes and segments would be a

1:25:44

great idea. I don't know who's got the

1:25:46

time or energy to put that together, but

1:25:48

I know that we have a wonderful fan base

1:25:51

over at the, nobody listens to

1:25:53

Paula Poundstone podcast fan club on Facebook,

1:25:55

the thing that we don't run. And

1:25:57

they're sort of compiling a list of.

1:26:00

what happened and what episodes when. So maybe something

1:26:02

like that will appear in the future. Yes. I'm

1:26:04

going to talk to Sheldon. Captain, we're

1:26:06

going to foist off your request

1:26:08

onto someone

1:26:11

who doesn't get paid. But the thing is, the

1:26:14

fact that they don't get paid means that they're making

1:26:17

more off this podcast than we are. Because

1:26:19

they just, you know,

1:26:22

for their involvement, they just get zero. Adam

1:26:24

and I, you know, we actually

1:26:26

move backwards. We go into the negative.

1:26:30

We're like Democrats on that game. On

1:26:34

that new fun family game,

1:26:36

something's fucked up around

1:26:38

here. Okay. You know what

1:26:40

I love about

1:26:42

Catherine's comment is that when

1:26:45

we refer to it from here on in,

1:26:48

we'll have to explain what happened

1:26:50

on this episode. Yeah.

1:26:52

Yeah. We'll have to say, well, you know,

1:26:55

well, that's going to. Well, not if that's

1:26:57

in the glossary. Yeah. Well, no, we'll have

1:26:59

to say, well, that's going to upset Catherine

1:27:01

and then, and then Bonnie will say, well,

1:27:03

could you explain why who's Catherine, why that

1:27:06

would upset her? And then Bonnie will say

1:27:08

she's the new Heidi. And then Tony will

1:27:10

say, well, who's Heidi? We didn't explain that.

1:27:12

It goes on and on. Deeper and deeper.

1:27:14

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Proving

1:27:16

her point. All right. Tony, I need a hole. Brian

1:27:19

McCaffrey writes into us a lot. I wonder

1:27:22

if that's still a thing that's happening. Oh,

1:27:24

it is. Our good friend, Brian

1:27:27

McCafferty writes, I just

1:27:29

want more of the same sort of thing, but

1:27:32

I'm writing because I enjoy the ads you

1:27:34

do the first time I hear them. I

1:27:36

heard the mattress ad today and

1:27:38

thought that Bonnie's little comment at the

1:27:40

end was especially effective. Moving

1:27:43

on. Paula's Butterfinger song would

1:27:45

be an excellent thing to

1:27:47

atomize for social media. It

1:27:50

has potential for reaching that younger audience.

1:27:53

What is atomized mean? I don't know

1:27:55

what it means either. Oh, atomize is

1:27:57

a reference to our suggestion

1:27:59

from. our guest of two weeks

1:28:01

ago, the social

1:28:04

media expert who said that we should clip

1:28:06

tiny segments of the show and post them

1:28:08

on social medias. Atomize them. I

1:28:13

think that the Nobody Touches

1:28:15

My Butterfingers song that Don't Mess With My

1:28:17

Butterfingers song that Paula recorded is a bit

1:28:19

big to atomize. I think that what we

1:28:21

were talking about was something a little more

1:28:24

bite-sized, if you will, fun-sized. So

1:28:27

for that, we would probably want to atomize

1:28:29

the ringtone that Bonnie

1:28:31

established. Oh, yeah. Is

1:28:34

that a good idea? By

1:28:37

the way, the name of the song, Adam,

1:28:39

is Not My Butterfinger. Not

1:28:42

Don't Touch My Butterfinger or

1:28:45

whatever fantasy title you just... That's

1:28:47

more of their ad campaign. Not My

1:28:49

Butterfinger. Yeah, it's a sharper title. Well

1:28:54

that's a great idea, Brian. I wasn't... sort

1:28:56

of a backhand thing there is from Brian

1:28:58

though. I'm writing because I enjoy the ads

1:29:00

you do the first time I hear them.

1:29:02

Yeah, I noticed that. Did that jump out

1:29:04

at anybody else? Yeah. It

1:29:06

did, but you know what? I couldn't blame them. I,

1:29:09

you know, if I... you

1:29:11

know, I watch a lot of MSNBC and

1:29:13

if I have to see that woman dance

1:29:16

about her diabetes medication one

1:29:18

more time... Yeah. You're

1:29:22

not wrong. Yeah. Tony, you

1:29:24

know, Jeremy Stroud has said that

1:29:26

he would never write to us again and I... you

1:29:29

know, I don't blame him. You know, he's... Jeremy

1:29:31

Stroud is breaking up with us. So

1:29:33

we don't... I don't think we'll ever hear from

1:29:35

Jeremy Stroud again. Do you, Adam? Um, I

1:29:38

think we might hear from him one more time. That's what I'm thinking.

1:29:41

Well, Adam, you're right. Jeremy Stroud, I

1:29:43

thought he was gonna share with us. Yeah.

1:29:48

Well, you know. Wow. What

1:29:51

did he have to say, Tony? What did he have to say? Jeremy

1:29:54

writes, how can you get more

1:29:56

people to listen to the podcast? I

1:29:58

don't know. Maybe... If you

1:30:00

cared about the podcast, get

1:30:03

in the studio, you lazy ass dude. You

1:30:07

put no effort in. Oh,

1:30:10

wow. Wow. All

1:30:13

right, thank you, Jeremy. The

1:30:15

first thing, the

1:30:18

first thing I wanna take issue with

1:30:20

is the lazy ass thing. Just

1:30:24

today, my daughter and

1:30:26

I were following along a

1:30:28

workout video and we

1:30:31

did a lot of group stuff. And

1:30:34

so, I don't think that's what he's talking about.

1:30:36

Yeah, so my ass is not lazy.

1:30:39

I only wish, Jeremy, that

1:30:41

you were, in

1:30:43

fact, you probably are

1:30:45

a Patreon member because the

1:30:48

love that comes out in this suggestion

1:30:51

is palpable. And

1:30:53

so I hope that you can see where

1:30:56

I'm doing this exercise, where

1:30:58

I squeeze one side

1:31:00

of my butt cheeks and then I squeeze the other

1:31:02

side of my butt

1:31:05

cheeks, which I think is positive

1:31:08

that I am not- You put some effort in.

1:31:10

Yeah, and then I'm not a lazy ass. I

1:31:13

do wanna thank Jeremy because in those previous couple

1:31:15

of notes, we were kind of hunting around to

1:31:18

find offense and somebody saying they like hearing it

1:31:20

the first time and people saying the word yakking.

1:31:23

Jeremy made it easy to find offense in this one. Yeah,

1:31:26

no, Jeremy really, for

1:31:28

as long as people have known him, was

1:31:31

never known to beat around the bush.

1:31:33

He just comes right out and says,

1:31:35

get in the studio, you lazy ass

1:31:37

goofs. And that goes on to

1:31:39

say you put no effort in. And

1:31:42

you know, okay, the

1:31:44

part about that that might upset me

1:31:46

a little bit, not enough to call

1:31:48

Tony's brother crying, but the part that

1:31:50

might upset me a little bit is

1:31:52

it actually, I put in a lot of

1:31:55

effort. Yeah. Yeah,

1:31:58

I wanna say Bonnie Burns. is here

1:32:00

with no sleep, an emergency

1:32:03

room visit behind her, and high on

1:32:05

drugs. So

1:32:08

she's putting in the effort. Look,

1:32:11

as far as putting in the effort, for

1:32:13

one I'd say maybe that could be true when

1:32:15

it comes to the book club, Jeremy. I think

1:32:17

I've made my way through. Not true at all,

1:32:19

Jeremy. Not true at all. But

1:32:22

as far as getting back into the studio, I don't

1:32:25

see that as a measure of how

1:32:27

much effort we put in. No. Not

1:32:29

how much driving we're willing to put in to get our

1:32:32

asses together, given how far away from each other we leave.

1:32:35

And not our lazy asses either. By the way, can

1:32:37

you see like one side of me goes up and

1:32:39

then the other side? No, you're doing great glute work.

1:32:43

That's a powerful glute work. You

1:32:45

know what? Okay. Let's

1:32:47

try to look on the bright side of

1:32:49

Jeremy's contribution, which is

1:32:51

we give the parents that we're putting

1:32:53

no effort in. And so what Jeremy's

1:32:55

saying is, you guys make it look

1:32:57

so easy. You make it look easy. Wow.

1:33:00

Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you. Yeah,

1:33:03

like a graceful basketball player. Thank you, Jeremy. Hey,

1:33:05

Tony, Daniel Wallach. He's always there

1:33:07

with a kind and chipper word, isn't

1:33:09

he? Yeah, good old Danny, right? I

1:33:12

just learned that 15 bodies

1:33:14

were found in Ben Franklin's

1:33:16

basement, and I was hoping his ghost

1:33:18

could tell us about why they were

1:33:21

there. Love the show. PS,

1:33:24

I seem to remember that Sergeant Bigelow

1:33:26

wrote a theme song for the Lifehack

1:33:28

segment, and I was hoping to hear

1:33:30

it when the segment aired recently. Adam's

1:33:33

theme song was also fun, though. Also

1:33:36

fun, though. Sounds a

1:33:38

lot like I like it the first time I

1:33:40

hear it. I think he would have preferred Sergeant

1:33:43

Bigelow's, who I think put

1:33:46

together your vagina

1:33:48

song as well. Yeah, he

1:33:50

did. Wow. Yeah, that's

1:33:52

a powerful... We had forgotten about Sergeant Bigelow's

1:33:54

Lifehack song, but we will dig that up

1:33:56

and use it next time. That's actually a

1:33:59

good suggestion, Daniel. because when you guys

1:34:01

send us theme songs, we should be

1:34:03

finding them and using them. Because you're...

1:34:05

You're absolutely right. I'm not saying you're

1:34:07

better than us, but you're better than

1:34:09

us? They're not lazy, askers. Maybe

1:34:12

the podcast fan club could keep

1:34:14

track of the theme songs. You know? We

1:34:17

are like... We are like... We

1:34:19

are like... Hey, hey, hey, hey, Bonnie. We put

1:34:21

them on making the glossary. They can't be doing

1:34:23

the theme songs. Oh, because

1:34:25

we don't... I totally forgot about that. No,

1:34:27

all of a sudden I realized that Jeremy

1:34:30

may have a point. Great,

1:34:34

and as for why Ben Franklin had 15 bodies

1:34:37

in his basement, I don't know. Is

1:34:40

that true? Did I fact check it? Yeah,

1:34:44

you could ask yourself. Ben,

1:34:46

did you... Hello.

1:34:50

Did you have 15 disputes

1:34:52

with... You know, was

1:34:54

it the wig maker? Was it the... You

1:34:57

know, the tin smith? What happened? Oh,

1:35:00

yes. I had many disputes, but

1:35:02

that is not the reason for those 15... Cadavers,

1:35:06

that might have been in my basement.

1:35:09

Ben, do we even know where you lived?

1:35:11

I mean, is your house like a preserved

1:35:13

historic place? I

1:35:16

wouldn't know. I'm dead. Yeah,

1:35:19

but you show up here and there. I

1:35:21

would think that... Only on podcasts. I would

1:35:23

think that the ghost... Trust

1:35:25

me, there is a Ben Franklin

1:35:27

podcast somewhere. I would think that

1:35:29

the ghost of Ben Franklin would

1:35:31

go visit his old house. Well,

1:35:34

not a lot of

1:35:36

good memories there, if you know what I mean.

1:35:38

Oh, because of the 15 dead bodies? Partly,

1:35:41

yes. Yes. It

1:35:47

was a series of unfortunate

1:35:49

accidents. Yeah, obviously. Yeah,

1:35:52

and you know what it might've been? It

1:35:55

might've been his 15 different

1:35:57

assistants helping him with the

1:35:59

electricity. experiments. Yeah. Well that

1:36:01

was part of it absolutely. Yeah.

1:36:04

I sensed them outside wearing metal

1:36:06

suits of armor. You've

1:36:09

never felt the need for like a

1:36:11

proper service. You just buried

1:36:13

them in your basement. Yeah. That gets messy.

1:36:16

That gets messy. I was a busy man

1:36:18

living in Philadelphia by the way. Right but

1:36:20

where you know have you been to the

1:36:22

house? Go Eagles. Yeah.

1:36:27

Not so good but hey. Oh.

1:36:29

Oh good. I know. Yeah. Hey no

1:36:32

spoilers. I've taped the last three years

1:36:34

of games. Um. Yeah. No

1:36:36

they did good. They did good. No

1:36:39

they. Oh good. Good good good. They

1:36:41

weren't good. Yeah. Anyway

1:36:43

I. I don't even watch football. I do. I watch

1:36:47

football now. You didn't even watch football. No I've

1:36:49

been watching a lot of football. It's fantastic. Well

1:36:51

if you two are just going to bicker

1:36:54

among yourselves while founding fathers of

1:36:56

the United States of America is

1:36:58

visiting us and off to a

1:37:00

different podcast. So welcome here

1:37:05

I come.

1:37:08

All right Ben Franklin ladies and gentlemen.

1:37:10

Tony has Liz Corrigan reached out

1:37:12

recently? I'm starting to worry about

1:37:14

her. Oh sweet Liz is

1:37:17

back and writes hello my favorite

1:37:19

people. Question how much of

1:37:21

the show is scripted and how much

1:37:23

is reactionary to Bonnie's comments? Much

1:37:25

love. Your podcast is the best. If

1:37:28

I hadn't just quit a horrible job I would be

1:37:30

on your Patreon. Oh

1:37:33

Liz. That's really sweet.

1:37:36

I think I defer to Jeremy here. In

1:37:40

terms of you know the script. You're

1:37:43

right. Yeah we put. We're lazy

1:37:45

ass people. Yeah lazy ass

1:37:47

goofs. How much you

1:37:49

know we have a framework of.

1:37:52

Yeah we have a framework. We have a

1:37:54

framework of written down stuff. I

1:37:57

don't just come up with those quotations off the

1:37:59

top of my head when I say. throw between

1:38:01

segments so eloquently. No, of course not. I

1:38:03

find, Liz, that

1:38:06

the scripted parts come

1:38:08

out a little more stiff. You

1:38:10

know, the scripted parts don't seem

1:38:14

sincere, so I, you know,

1:38:16

I tend to move away from scripted

1:38:19

parts. You can't read

1:38:21

that next word, Paula. It was parts. Scripted

1:38:24

parts. I, Liz,

1:38:28

I don't enjoy the

1:38:31

scripted parts as

1:38:33

much as I

1:38:36

lick the... Like,

1:38:38

that's like, it's not like. Like the

1:38:42

unscripted parts.

1:38:46

Let me just echo Paula

1:38:48

and say that I also

1:38:50

am a fan of the

1:38:53

spontaneous... Spontaneous. Spontaneous interactions. You're

1:38:56

so right, Adam. Oh no, that's you. Oh, sorry.

1:38:58

You are so right. Adam.

1:39:03

Whose turn is it to

1:39:06

drug Bonnie Burns again?

1:39:08

I guess

1:39:10

it's my turn. You injected

1:39:12

her last. Ha ha ha.

1:39:14

Spontaneous laughter. Ha

1:39:18

ha ha. I'm getting

1:39:20

hungry. What the fuck?

1:39:22

Oh my God. What do you

1:39:25

mean you're getting hungry? I

1:39:27

don't know. It's going on a lot. I

1:39:30

was trying to

1:39:32

make it... But you

1:39:34

know what? You know what? Well, you know

1:39:36

what will fill your belly and your heart?

1:39:39

The words of Patricia Martin, because when she writes

1:39:41

in, it's always a good time for everybody. Am I

1:39:43

right, Tony? Oh yeah. Patricia

1:39:45

writes, my suggestion is to

1:39:47

screen the mailbag entries and eliminate any

1:39:49

that are cruel to the presenters. I

1:39:52

understand you may want to include constructive

1:39:54

criticism, but some people are clearly

1:39:56

angry and don't need to be hurt.

1:39:59

Ha ha. I love you

1:40:01

all. Jeremy. Oh,

1:40:04

Patricia. Patricia, did you hear what

1:40:06

Jeremy said? Lazy ass goofs.

1:40:08

Get back in the studio. Maybe if

1:40:10

you cared about the podcast. Yeah,

1:40:12

tell me. Tell me he had a

1:40:14

normal child bringing up.

1:40:18

Yeah, well phrased Paula. Good thing they

1:40:20

wrote that part. Tell me he had

1:40:23

a normal life

1:40:25

as a child. There

1:40:28

you go. You know,

1:40:30

read another way, Patricia could be saying our

1:40:32

mailbag selection sucks. I

1:40:35

don't think that's true, Adam. I

1:40:40

was just kidding, Paula. By

1:40:42

the way, you know, we pared

1:40:44

down what we were going to read because we get a lot

1:40:46

of write-ins,

1:40:49

which is fantastic. Thank you. We love

1:40:51

the write-in. Who the fuck left Jeremy

1:40:53

in? What the hell? We'll

1:41:00

find that out. We'll begin an investigation as soon

1:41:02

as Bonnie sobers up. Yeah, that's going to take

1:41:04

a while. Hey, well,

1:41:06

that was a ton of fun. And we're at the

1:41:08

end of our time. But hey, listeners, you know what

1:41:11

I'm going to say now, because this is something we

1:41:13

do now. If you want to hear more mailbag extra

1:41:17

edition, we are now going to step

1:41:20

away and record a few more extra

1:41:22

bits of mail from

1:41:24

the bag for our business. For

1:41:26

our Patreon listeners. That's right. You

1:41:28

can go to patreon.com, search Nobody

1:41:30

Listens to Paula Poundstone, and you

1:41:33

can find our fantastic Patreon page,

1:41:35

right full of video

1:41:38

and audio extras, personal

1:41:41

appearances on chat by Paula and

1:41:43

me and soon to be Tony

1:41:45

and Bonnie, and all kinds and

1:41:47

access to exclusive merch. So once

1:41:49

again, that's patreon.com/Paula Poundstone or something

1:41:51

like that. Hey, Adam, let's find another

1:41:53

time to do what was it we

1:41:55

did that night. We did a text

1:41:58

chat. Yeah, let's find another time. to

1:42:00

do a text chat. And

1:42:02

you know, just a

1:42:05

while ago, this is kind of embarrassing that it took us this

1:42:07

long to do it, but just a while ago, we finally

1:42:10

came across with the Zoom party

1:42:12

for one of our listeners

1:42:15

and we had, it was a prize

1:42:17

for winning a contest on the show. A

1:42:19

contest. And it was so damned much fun.

1:42:21

All four of us were on. Right. We

1:42:24

need to have another contest like that. Michelle

1:42:26

says, oh God. Anyway, I'm going to say

1:42:28

it was

1:42:32

Michelle and a bunch of her friends,

1:42:34

uh, cause that's the thing. Uh, people could

1:42:36

win a zoom party, uh, with

1:42:39

up to 50 of their friends could be invited. I

1:42:41

don't know anybody with 50 friends, but she

1:42:43

had a lot. Um, and it was really

1:42:46

a blast. We enjoyed them so much. And so

1:42:48

I say we come up with another contest as

1:42:50

soon as we can, um, to, uh,

1:42:52

to do that again because, uh,

1:42:54

my life needs all the

1:42:57

positives it can get,

1:42:59

you know, uh, yeah. That

1:43:01

is seconded Paula poundstone. Hey everybody, remember to

1:43:03

follow this podcast on apple or wherever you

1:43:06

get your podcast. It's free. And if you

1:43:08

want to know more about some subject or

1:43:10

topic, or you're just hoping to get on

1:43:12

mailbag, well, the address

1:43:15

to write into is nobody

1:43:17

listens to Paula poundstone@gmail.com. And

1:43:19

that is our show. Nobody

1:43:21

listens to Paula poundstone is

1:43:23

hosted by Paula poundstone and

1:43:25

yours truly Adam the Felber.

1:43:27

Thanks to houseband Emily verse

1:43:29

score curse. Thank you on the

1:43:32

saxophone. Our show is produced

1:43:34

by Paula poundstone, Adam Felber, Bonnie

1:43:36

Burns, Ken Lizebnick and Julie Bracobian.

1:43:38

And we are edited by Vic

1:43:40

Lowry. That's

1:43:42

our show for tonight. Won't somebody

1:43:45

please listen to me. Adam,

1:43:49

you forgot to

1:43:51

say that English on

1:43:54

apple. And

1:44:00

I usually said that I figured to give

1:44:02

people a break because Bonnie gave them so

1:44:04

much more homework this week Well, that's true.

1:44:06

She did and honestly, I'm not sure there's

1:44:08

some of these people I'm not sure I

1:44:11

want leaving a review like I hope Jeremy

1:44:13

Stroud isn't listening because I don't think his

1:44:15

Apple Play catch review It will be that

1:44:17

positive. I I think I suspect you might

1:44:20

be right about that. Yeah Oh, but Paula

1:44:22

what I'm more concerned about right now is

1:44:24

you know What happens when you're flying a

1:44:26

kite and then the wind completely dies? Oh

1:44:28

my god. Oh Jesus Is

1:44:30

that Bonnie that is that is what's happening? I

1:44:35

am kind of unwinding. Oh my not a

1:44:37

winding a you're not here and be you

1:44:39

are crashing. Yeah, you're not Yeah, I can

1:44:41

really feel the propeller like going down. Okay

1:44:45

I don't have a propeller. Let's

1:44:48

go Let's

1:44:56

go fly Bonnie burns Yeah,

1:45:00

it really feels like a you're not here

1:45:02

you're yeah, you're not here you're not here

1:45:04

you probably thought you were here because you

1:45:06

are Hi Okay,

1:45:09

well, I thought this was kind of funny. I

1:45:11

know I'm not here But we may not you're

1:45:13

not good. I think any deals for you today

1:45:16

when I was young helmet Once

1:45:19

here, then you guys kept tight. I realized I can't

1:45:22

remember if it was for Providence

1:45:24

or province Great.

1:45:27

It was for what? That's

1:45:30

gonna be that's gonna be a good. Yeah, I

1:45:32

have a feeling I've got a few free shows

1:45:34

coming up Yeah,

1:45:38

and and that you're gonna have to wear a

1:45:40

chicken suit or something. Yeah, exactly Boy,

1:45:42

there's got to be some way of

1:45:44

making her phone not work when she's

1:45:46

like this Well,

1:45:49

she doesn't like this a lot. No, no Yeah,

1:45:53

I think a woman in Lake

1:45:56

Tahoe at that here I know I think I

1:45:58

sense the

1:46:00

same email three times, the

1:46:02

email, the same thing. I know,

1:46:04

I was wired, but hey, I can

1:46:07

say that I'm just like an old lady

1:46:09

who's sort of flippity bitchin' bitchin'

1:46:11

whatever. Yeah, oh, yeah, no, I

1:46:13

think that's a strong business boy.

1:46:15

I think that's a great idea.

1:46:17

Why not just write on your

1:46:19

fucking business card the poundstone brand

1:46:21

for sure. Okay, take all that

1:46:23

out. You can't ask for drunk people where you

1:46:26

can't get into your phone. You have to

1:46:28

solve a really hard issue, the problem. See, I

1:46:30

think that's a... I wasn't drunk. No, you're not

1:46:32

drunk. I still don't believe this. It's the

1:46:34

same concept, Grandma. Yeah, the same concepts that you

1:46:36

could get into your phone if you

1:46:39

were high. I wasn't my

1:46:41

phone, it was email. I'm

1:46:43

surprised you could get into your room today.

1:46:46

I think your code is better

1:46:48

without me in it. I think

1:46:50

you're not here. Yeah, yeah, you're

1:46:52

not supposed to be here at all. Adam,

1:46:55

is there any way you could get... Is

1:46:59

there any way you can get out to

1:47:01

Thousand Oaks and just cut the wires going

1:47:03

into Bonnie's house? Is there any way

1:47:05

you could do that? You had it all. Consider it

1:47:07

done. I'm closer to you. I appreciate it.

1:47:10

Yeah, thank you. Plus, I haven't eaten all day.

1:47:12

I think that's okay. You're a champion. I'm a champion. For

1:47:14

God's sake, get somebody to eat. I do feel mad for

1:47:16

you, Bonnie. I feel sad. Yeah, I feel

1:47:18

a little bit worse for me, to be honest with you. Yeah,

1:47:21

I feel a little bit worse for me, but that's...

1:47:23

Anybody in the medical community that can make it out

1:47:25

to Bonnie's house tonight, we'd really appreciate it. I'm bringing

1:47:27

a flashlight because Adam's cutting the wires to the house

1:47:29

as soon as we get off the clock. Okay,

1:47:32

so maybe for people that are kind of

1:47:34

new to the show, we need to... Hello,

1:47:37

Beth, I'm your manager, which

1:47:39

is a little even more fight. Yes, if you're

1:47:41

new to the show and you've listened to an

1:47:43

hour and 45 minutes of this shit,

1:47:46

and you don't know who Bonnie is, this

1:47:48

is the moment when we should tell you,

1:47:50

she's Paula's manager. This

1:47:53

is the moment that we've come to call

1:47:55

the Catherine Report, which is where we've

1:47:58

explained everything that we said. that comes

1:48:01

from old episodes. Adam? Yes,

1:48:03

Bonnie Burns is Paula Pouncestone's

1:48:05

manager and has been for

1:48:07

about 28 years. Yeah, really

1:48:09

a long time. I just

1:48:12

want to add that neither of you

1:48:14

are here. Because the end of the

1:48:17

show is just Adam and I talking

1:48:19

to each other as listeners

1:48:21

know, which is part of the

1:48:23

Catherine report. It's a coda. Hey,

1:48:26

we want to thank

1:48:28

Helix again

1:48:32

for sponsoring the

1:48:42

show. Go purchase your Helix and thank

1:48:44

me later for your best night's sleep. Thank

1:48:47

me too. I testified Helix is offering

1:48:49

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1:49:00

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