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details. A

0:33

detective came and knocked on the door and

0:35

I said, is it Renee? And he just

0:37

gave me that solemn look. It

0:39

was the worst day ever. The

0:42

proof podcast is back with a new case and

0:44

a new season. 23 years

0:46

ago, 18-year-old Renee Ramis

0:48

went missing. Her body

0:51

was later found in an empty Home Depot building on

0:53

the edge of town. I

0:55

don't think that they arrested the right people. It's about

0:57

time somebody's trying to do something. She

1:00

had a black eye about two weeks before she

1:02

was murdered. They are

1:04

involved. They definitely had her body and

1:06

her backpack. You know people

1:08

are going to judge you, right? Of course,

1:10

they're judging me now. They're judging

1:12

me again in my whole life. You

1:15

can listen now to season two of Proof, wherever

1:17

you get your podcasts. And follow along with us

1:20

as we reinvestigate the murder at the warehouse. I

1:23

have to ask, did you kill

1:25

Renee? Three,

1:31

two, one. That's

1:34

fantastic. Yay.

1:43

Okay. How dumb is Don Lemon?

1:46

Why would we lash out at Don Lemon? Why

1:48

is he dumb? Well, I don't know. Like

1:51

I thought the guy was pretty sharp, but

1:53

you know, he listened to that

1:55

interview that he did with Elon Musk

1:57

and he's literally grilling.

2:00

the guy that's his boss and he has to

2:02

have some sense that Elon Musk is kind of

2:04

an asshole. And it's just

2:07

like, what were you thinking? I saw

2:09

a little part where he goes, well,

2:11

you use amphetamines, right? And you

2:13

could see Elon Musk's

2:15

eyes going, I hate this guy. He

2:18

didn't expect to keep a job with Elon

2:20

Musk. Guys like Elon Musk, and I'm sorry

2:22

to say it out loud, but guys like

2:24

Don Lemon, I just feel like when I'm

2:26

following their drama, it's like the

2:28

news cycle version of the Kardashians. I

2:30

have no interest in what they do.

2:33

And what I can't figure out is

2:35

why you would listen to an interview of Don

2:39

Lemon of Elon Musk. There's

2:42

nothing that would attract me to that. Well, they

2:44

were naked. Yes. Oh,

2:46

okay. Don Lemon interviews. And

2:49

then they wrestled. He got signed by Elon

2:51

Musk to be on X. And

2:54

then he interviewed Elon Musk. Okay,

2:57

that's the worst thing. Anyway, like,

2:59

grilled him. Okay. So,

3:02

none of this is- Bonnie is going to tell you

3:04

the story again and not explain why he was going

3:06

to- Right, none of this answers my question. Right,

3:09

exactly. Yeah. No,

3:12

it's- So, Paula, if I

3:15

can explain Bonnie's interest, you see, Don

3:17

Lemon was hired to

3:19

do a show on X and he

3:21

interviewed X's CEO, Elon Musk. Didn't

3:25

I say that? Yeah, he spent the interview

3:27

grilling him. Yeah. What

3:29

part didn't I say of that? You said all of

3:31

that. Here's the thing. Oh, quite. But

3:34

not if- No, it has nothing to do

3:36

with whether it was concise. You know

3:38

what worries me right now is

3:40

that- I manage your career? Yes.

3:44

That's possibly- Exactly

3:46

what I was about to say. Because

3:49

what Adam was doing was a

3:52

thing called kidding. And-

3:57

I do that from time to time. Yeah.

4:00

Oh, you're kidding. I missed that.

4:02

The joke was he was

4:05

repeating what you said. Pretty

4:07

much exactly. Because what you

4:09

said in no way answered

4:11

my question. So let me

4:13

try again. Pretend you're filling

4:15

out a form. Bonnie,

4:18

why would you watch Don

4:22

Lemon interview Elon Musk? And

4:25

now what am I supposed to say? You're

4:28

supposed to answer the question. Wait,

4:30

I'm supposed to say what? You're supposed

4:32

to answer the question. But

4:35

you didn't answer the question? No,

4:37

what you said was, because

4:40

Don Lemon interviewed Elon

4:42

Musk. Okay, ask me

4:44

again. Okay, why really

4:47

didn't watch an interview

4:50

of Don Lemon interviewing Elon Musk?

4:53

Let me take this one, Bonnie. You

4:55

see, Paula, Elon Musk hired Don Lemon

4:58

to do a show on X. Then

5:01

Don Lemon shows up and he just

5:03

grills Elon Musk. I mean like grill.

5:05

Like if you wanted to be fired.

5:08

Wait, did I wreck it again?

5:10

Yeah. You didn't answer the question.

5:12

You didn't answer the question. I

5:15

don't get it then. You were telling a joke.

5:18

No, I wasn't telling a joke. I

5:21

was not telling a joke. I

5:24

was asking a question. And

5:26

the question is why would

5:28

you watch that? Oh,

5:31

because I've got these news shows that

5:33

I watch like at four

5:35

or five every night. Kind of,

5:37

you know, different opinions. And then

5:39

Rachel Maddow, of course, on Monday. And

5:42

it's all over the news because

5:44

Don Lemon got fired. And

5:47

then he got rehired by CNN,

5:49

which is, wow. I

5:51

don't know what that is. I didn't know that. Okay.

5:54

So what you're saying... watch

6:00

news programs that told you about this

6:02

interview and so you felt like you

6:04

should watch the interview. Is that correct? No,

6:06

they play. No. What do

6:08

you think I have like a lot of

6:11

loose time on my hands? No, when they

6:13

talk like I have every night and you're

6:17

watching Don Lemon.

6:19

Anybody who watches Don Lemon interview

6:21

Elon Musk has some spare time.

6:24

No I wouldn't have. I didn't even know he was

6:27

interviewing Elon Musk.

6:30

I hate acts when I hear

6:32

the thing I just turn out and I don't like

6:35

Elon Musk either. I think he's

6:37

a first class jerk, okay? But

6:39

when they were reporting the news

6:41

about it they played clips from

6:44

the interview. Oh,

6:47

okay. It's keeping up with the CNN-ians.

6:50

I got it. Whoa, boy.

6:53

Ha! Alright, well good thing

6:56

we're spared having to do with Cold Open because

6:58

our audience would have no interest in it. No,

7:00

so, Bunny, when you are filling out a form

7:02

and say it says address, you

7:04

say, well, I live

7:07

in a house because I have

7:10

a daughter, she used to ride

7:12

horses. Oh, the cost of

7:14

the shirts for the horses. And

7:17

for a while I was working with

7:19

organizers. You know, I

7:22

thought black might be an

7:24

interesting color for a wall

7:26

because the organizers are so

7:28

creative. Do you see

7:30

what I'm saying? That would in no way answer

7:33

your address. Yeah, I

7:35

thought I answered. Maybe

7:37

I didn't. And with that, maybe

7:40

we could start the show. How do we? Okay,

7:42

well, I don't want to end on a bummer

7:45

like that. No, okay. Maybe I won't

7:47

say I thought I answered. Oh, okay,

7:49

Paul. Oh, that's better. Yeah,

7:53

we have something more

7:55

up. I know. How about this? Nick,

7:57

can you cut around that and make money?

8:00

make sense? You

8:02

know what? Or just like carnival

8:04

music in the background when we're doing all that.

8:06

Oh, can I say that to him and then

8:08

he's gonna do it. You

8:10

don't have enough time

8:12

in your day to go

8:15

kill Vic. Yeah, you're much too busy. Boy,

8:39

I have a lot of negative stuff coming

8:41

out of my mouth. Yeah, that was pretty

8:43

negative. I don't know why. Maybe

8:46

you need a cup of coffee

8:48

Bonnie. How many of you have?

8:50

You know you're right. I've only

8:52

had like one cup so I've

8:54

got two more here and a

8:56

cup of hot chocolate. Well,

8:59

I don't know if this will pick up

9:01

everybody's mood but I know if everybody watching,

9:03

you know, nobody is watching the show, they're

9:05

listening but you guys can probably see that

9:07

I am kind of beat red today. I'm

9:10

kind of like, oh you

9:12

are. I'm Tony Anita

9:14

Hall colored. Why? Because I

9:16

guess spring is finally here so like you can

9:18

get sunburned out there on your bicycle and I

9:21

have to start wearing sunblock again. Wow. So you

9:23

got sunburned today. So you were out on your

9:26

bicycle? On my bicycle, yeah. Yeah. It's

9:28

funny because I drove by your

9:30

house earlier and I saw you

9:32

laying out on your front lawn

9:34

on a cheese lounge with a record

9:36

album covered in foil and your face

9:38

looked a little shiny to me. Oh

9:40

yeah but that doesn't do anything to

9:42

your face. Yeah. That's just good

9:45

for your skin. Yeah, I'm not sure that was

9:47

actually riding your bike and you got, you know,

9:49

sunburned. Sounds like you were really trying to get

9:51

your face red. Yeah,

9:53

because there's nothing I like more than

9:56

Looking like an ambulatory tomato. Yeah.

10:00

That nothing. Yet. They put

10:02

some black on tap the your head see

10:04

don't get sunburned rates. Were. No, I'm wearing

10:06

a helmet when a bike our. It's more like

10:08

if you're not comfortable. Right?

10:11

I have to buy a convertible

10:13

than exams Yes like yours say

10:15

item you were in a reduction

10:17

of hey there Georgie girls. Okay,

10:21

I said okay you would need to say

10:23

except yes. So in order for this game

10:25

to work for me, where some block on

10:27

my head I've gotta get involved in a

10:30

production. Hey there Georgie girl. We I had

10:32

a rented convertible. Yeah, that seems worthwhile. Yes,

10:35

Yes, Yes,

10:39

Is anything time to as lives his.

10:49

Stomach. Do you live from

10:51

our houses in Los Angeles, California?

10:53

This here is nobody. listens to

10:55

All About Joe Dirt Field Guide

10:57

to Live Tonight And movie theaters

10:59

have been encroached upon by a

11:01

vast hostile wasteland. No, I don't

11:03

mean doomed to that's awesome. I'm

11:05

talking about the vast number of

11:08

movies we know literally nothing about.

11:10

How is one to know? Whether

11:12

for instance, to go see the

11:14

land of Bad? Maybe by listening

11:16

to our review of Nineteen Sixty

11:18

Seven? Valley of the Dolls? A

11:20

valley that is geographically at the dead

11:22

center of the land of bad. Does

11:25

that make sense? If not, sit around

11:27

because then we'll find our way through

11:29

that geographical nightmare. It's a new installment

11:31

of land Ho was with Tony Any

11:34

to whoa? Whoa

11:38

Whoa Whoa. Whoa. Whoa

11:40

Whoa whoa whoa whoa

11:43

Whoa. I'm Adam

11:45

Celebrate this shows when Simmons you

11:47

knew who still believes in a

11:49

world full of Saxon sense and

11:51

co here and discourse and now

11:53

welcome the seeded leading lady who's

11:55

seen at all as he battles

11:57

are crippling dependence on bright red

11:59

Doritos. Paula Poundstone.

12:06

Who had a while? I'm that it's a

12:08

nice house. Raymond. Podium:

12:18

Oh my gosh, just see

12:20

just the joy of saying

12:22

the words you phony! I'm

12:24

our sixth time returning Hero

12:26

House band recently retired. Oh

12:28

wait a minute than fool

12:30

me once. It's

12:32

him. This one song. us. He retired

12:35

after forty five years. Has the

12:37

base Trombonist of the Louisville Or

12:39

to stress Raymond is a performer.

12:41

Composer: Arrange your conduct, your.

12:44

And church musician living in

12:46

Floyd Snobs Indiana. Oh, I

12:49

remember that I just the

12:51

other night. Ah, in the

12:53

Indiana suburbs of Louisville, Kentucky.

12:55

Raise serves as Minister of

12:58

music at Edwards Build United

13:00

Methodist. Church Raise composition

13:02

for orchestra make. Gentle

13:04

The Life of the World,

13:06

which uses Robert Kennedy speech

13:08

in Indianapolis on the night

13:10

in Nineteen Sixty Eight that

13:13

Martin Luther King Jr. was

13:15

assassinated has been plagued by

13:17

professional orchestras on three continents

13:19

and was awarded a judge's

13:21

special distinctions by the American

13:23

Prize for Professionals Composers. So

13:25

oh My gosh. Wow, we're going

13:27

on so flash you me as really

13:29

tight mean up these intros about you

13:32

know and that's all the time We

13:34

have No Money was a small town

13:36

girl has produced by Paula Poundstone and

13:38

me out I'm Sober Wow yeah Raymond

13:40

were so. Happy to have you.

13:42

Thank you! You know it's interesting

13:45

that Raymond brings up. His.

13:48

American Prize for professional.

13:50

Composers. Because. I was

13:52

thinking that the com. The Stroller

13:55

which is a public

13:57

service elected official. that

14:00

we vote on, the

14:02

Comptroller. Right. Although I'm never quite sure what it is.

14:04

For me, it's like an alderman. I

14:06

think a lot of people don't know what a Comptroller

14:08

is, and I think we've come to think of it

14:11

as just a superhero. You

14:13

know, just like when you get in a

14:15

difficult situation, you know, like say you're, you

14:18

know, I don't know, say someone's about to

14:20

shove you onto the subway

14:22

tracks and the subway is coming, you

14:25

yell, Comptroller, save me!

14:27

A lot of people think that's what

14:30

it is. It isn't. And those

14:32

people have been run over. Those

14:35

people who made that mistake. Yeah,

14:37

right. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Well,

14:39

it's a part of the financial, you know, they

14:41

keep track. They're sort of the tippy top, I

14:43

believe it is, of the budget

14:47

making, of the financial

14:50

organization of the

14:52

state or the city or the... Good to

14:54

know. Good to know. Yeah. But that, yeah.

14:57

But you bring this up for a reason, obviously, because

14:59

you're Paula Poundstone, and there's always a reason. No,

15:02

it was really just that. It was really... So

15:06

many of us think of, you know,

15:08

you will just... Because we don't know what,

15:10

like the other day, you know, for example, my

15:13

washing machine was making a funny noise and

15:15

then it just stopped. And

15:18

I was like, you know, Comptroller.

15:22

And it didn't work. Nothing happened.

15:24

Nothing. Comptroller, make my washing machine.

15:26

So I think it's important that

15:28

we know what that... It's very

15:30

important that we look at these

15:32

down ballot elections and

15:35

know what those positions are and make

15:37

sure because, you know, vote blue no matter

15:40

who, of course. But, you

15:42

know, good idea to get good people into

15:44

these positions. We all know that we want

15:46

to vote for Joe Biden, but

15:48

you'll notice there's other little circles

15:50

that you have to fill out.

15:52

Well, oval. I think they're ovals.

15:54

I'm not sure if they're ovals

15:57

or circles. Comptroller, are they

15:59

ovals? Or zero cause. See.

16:02

That they're gonna fly ball with your says

16:04

not what a controller does. Yeah, exactly. So

16:07

it's important to know that. Yeah.

16:09

I saw so we can learn all about

16:11

it next week on our new segment. Odd

16:13

know your civil service positions with Tony? Need

16:16

a whole. Yeah. Yeah

16:18

that's going to be good or

16:20

or com patrollers. Of many lands,

16:22

that's another. I target well

16:24

and that's another tony and need

16:27

a whole segment. That with segment

16:29

live around the world with comptrollers?

16:31

yeah or on crafting with comptrollers

16:33

which is really a subset of

16:35

attorneys crap corner our graph with

16:37

the pump throws way a way.

16:40

was. Crafted with comptrollers. When

16:42

somebody made you spend all that

16:44

money. Making

16:47

I got a call from Los Angeles

16:49

County controller after that going saying sober

16:51

you are way over budget on that.

16:53

Yeah yeah you are. Oh my God.

16:55

that was funny. Ah, Right

16:59

away. If you'd like to see that and some

17:01

bar with the response to that you can find

17:03

that on our patria unpaid That both that segment

17:05

and their mailbag segment that followed it were a

17:07

been doing great guns over unpaid rent A good

17:09

a patron.com that has me doing a little plugs

17:11

for this shows but now I want to do

17:13

applaud. See Tony the whole know before you do

17:16

a plug for Tune India. Have. I'm

17:19

sure. That. A lot of

17:21

people know what patriarchy is.

17:23

what I'm sure there's just

17:25

is. Controller was patriots, I'm

17:27

sure. They're not just get an

17:30

answer. Know who don't know what

17:32

patriotism such as I imagine? There's

17:34

more people who don't know what

17:37

perjury on is one is Helena,

17:39

let me see if I can

17:41

explain it in a in a

17:44

lucid banner that everybody will understand

17:46

each long and displayed by. Land

17:51

a Red River it's okay. Know

17:53

what? victory on his His Patron

17:55

is a delightful online service that

17:57

many podcast used. To sort of

17:59

extend. and enhance the world of

18:01

their podcast. What that means is that

18:03

you, the listeners, can subscribe

18:06

to a Patreon page and for

18:08

one, you're supporting the podcast, which for

18:10

us is super important, and for two,

18:12

you're getting extra stuff. You're

18:15

getting videos of us doing stuff. You're

18:17

getting extra audio. You're getting live text

18:19

chatting with us. In fact,

18:21

the day after this podcast lands, we're doing

18:23

a live chat, me and Paula and maybe

18:25

Bonnie and Tony are doing a live chat

18:28

on Patreon like we did last month. It's

18:30

the 27th, Adam. The 27th. The

18:33

27th. So tomorrow, if

18:35

you're listening to this on the day of release,

18:37

we're doing a live chat. So all you got

18:39

to do is go to patreon.com, search for Nobody

18:41

Listens to Paula Poundstone, and for a very small

18:43

subscription fee, you can support us and become part

18:45

of our Patreon community and see us doing videos

18:47

and all that kind of stuff. Because

18:49

support is like a funny word when it's

18:52

used in this way. You know, we're

18:54

not talking about an attaboy. Great job,

18:56

guys. We're not talking about that kind

18:58

of support. We're talking about... We're

19:02

talking about seven bucks a month is what we're talking about. Unlike

19:06

a lot of other Patreon accounts that are like, you

19:08

could pay seven or you could pay nine and then

19:10

we'll come to your house or you could pay 15.

19:13

And we just have the one tier right

19:15

now. The one tier, you subscribe, you help

19:17

us out, you get stuff. It's a one

19:20

tier justice system here. That's right. At

19:22

Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. Well, thank

19:24

you for explaining that. Okay.

19:27

And now that we've gotten that out of the way,

19:29

I want to go over to Studio City and say

19:31

hello to Tony and Anita Hull because we're going to

19:33

go around the horn and say hello to everybody. Oh

19:35

my god, I forgot about this. And then I'll

19:37

tell you why we're not doing that next week. Um,

19:40

what's going on in my world?

19:42

Um, well, I finished

19:44

all ten and a half seasons of

19:46

Vanderpump Rules, so I'm completely caught up.

19:49

Oh my god. Also,

19:52

was John Flattery a comp troller

19:54

when he was in Sex and the City?

19:56

Does anyone remember? Anyway. I know

19:58

you're in a whole different world. world

20:00

than I never

20:02

thought section the city because that he wanted Kerry

20:04

to pee on him

20:06

we may carry to pee he

20:08

wanted Kerry to pee on him they had

20:11

that on the show well then he

20:13

was definitely comptroller because comptroller's comptroller's

20:15

are all about the extra pee oh

20:18

my god is nobody gonna give me nothing

20:22

for that thank you Paula Poundstone I

20:26

miss it it went over my head hahaha

20:30

when you

20:32

said Kerry

20:35

to pee I thought you

20:37

meant that he carried a vegetable

20:40

with him a pee yeah I

20:42

didn't get it Kerry was a

20:44

character Kerry I never saw that

20:48

show but wow hey

20:51

Bonnie Burns what's new you know

20:53

I think I have anything to talk about I

20:55

was gonna give examples Grammarly is

20:57

driving me crazy because I like

21:00

to seem like I'm well-spoken

21:02

well educated in my emails and so

21:05

I would write these emails and then

21:07

I'd check it with Grammarly and they'd

21:09

always have these fixes and then so I'd take the

21:11

time to make the fix and then I'd read

21:13

it and I go well this doesn't sound it's

21:16

garbage yeah right so I

21:19

was gonna give you some examples but it

21:21

didn't seem as compelling reading

21:23

where they changed forward to two

21:25

and I would go

21:27

you know I would appreciate it

21:29

and they just like tell the person

21:31

what to do doesn't seem yeah that

21:34

would have been dull yeah okay

21:36

so you so you're saying I want

21:38

to hear it anyway so you're saying

21:40

phrases like I would appreciate it or

21:43

you're saying like don't you want to

21:45

send me a check and Grammarly is

21:47

actually making you be direct and not

21:50

manipulative wow I

21:52

love it then I didn't realize you could

21:54

do that but that's fantastic some of that's

21:56

true but I mean I was taught you're

21:58

supposed to be polite So you

22:00

manipulate? No, that's not polite. I

22:03

said something like... Right, because Bonnie is

22:05

phrasing everything in her emails as questions

22:08

that she doesn't really want people to

22:10

answer independently. Right. So this

22:12

was... Like, do you think that's a good idea?

22:14

Yeah. She's trying to

22:16

plant seeds. This was to

22:18

the Glassbox owner, who's the

22:21

people that do our podcasts. And I had

22:23

listened to some other podcasts that have a

22:25

similar demographic as ours. And so I wrote

22:28

down their ads and sent them to him

22:31

saying, you know, here's some ads

22:33

I think would be good, blah, blah,

22:35

blah. And so in that email... Okay,

22:37

great. So you sent some emails to

22:39

Dave Sigurri. David Sigurri. Best damn podcast

22:41

company CEO I've ever met. Absolutely. Well,

22:44

wait, I also want to point out that that's

22:46

a fairly low bar for us. You're

22:52

not wrong, Paula. Yeah. Yeah. Hasn't ripped

22:54

us up for thousands of dollars. Oh,

22:57

that's true. And that's great. And

22:59

they haven't. Yeah, no, they

23:01

haven't. So I said I want to

23:03

suggest... And then I named the sponsors. I'll

23:05

just tell you, because I was going to email

23:07

you guys. So it was Miracle Made Sheets MediCal.

23:11

How come we never thought of MediCal before?

23:14

Well, it's only for California. And we have

23:16

a bustling international podcast.

23:18

Oh, I thought it was

23:20

national. No, you know how you can tell? MediCal.

23:25

MediCal? Did you think that... California

23:29

was covering the insurance for the

23:31

whole country? Yeah. I never put

23:33

that together. But... Yeah, it might

23:35

have been like a local thing

23:37

that got... No, whatever. Did

23:40

you notice it when you were in North Dakota?

23:42

It was in Medi-Cota. Did you ever notice that?

23:45

Or Medi-York or Med-achusets?

23:48

Medi-Cusets. Yeah. I

23:51

was in Tucson once and had to use the Medi-zona. Yeah.

23:54

Oh, gosh. And

23:56

Rocket Money, which sounds really great. It's like

23:58

a service that goes through and... sees all the

24:00

things that you've subscribed to. I use it. So

24:03

you do. And then it lets you know or

24:05

something, right? So now

24:07

we're literally advertising for free. OK, what?

24:09

Yeah. So I said, these are products

24:11

we would use and I think would

24:14

appeal to the demographic. And

24:17

grammar, we changed it to, these are

24:20

products we would use and would appeal

24:22

to our demographic. Which is, that

24:25

one's better. So it took out, I think. Oh, it took

24:27

out, I think. It took, I think. That one was better.

24:30

I don't think it's better. I think it

24:33

is a better choice. I think your original choice was better because

24:36

you're talking to our CEO who's deeply steeped

24:38

in this advertising stuff. And so it makes

24:40

sense to sort of say, I

24:43

think, as a way of deferring to his judgment. Well,

24:47

I thought so. You know, Bonnie,

24:50

I don't know if this is the appropriate

24:52

time to break away from

24:54

your services. But I'm going to. And

24:58

it's been a really good run and I thank you. But

25:01

I'm going to have somebody over Grammarly manage

25:03

me. They're

25:07

so good with language. Are

25:09

you aware that even taking the time to

25:12

have Grammarly tell you take out,

25:14

I think, time is money,

25:16

Bonnie. Time is money. Ask Tony

25:18

Anita Hall. Yeah. Ask

25:21

Tony Vanderpump Rules, Anita

25:23

Hall. OK, so

25:25

this was to, wait, wait. Wait,

25:29

wait, don't tell me. The NPR show

25:31

and podcast that Paula and I both

25:33

participate in. You know, blah, blah, that's

25:36

something that the producer said. And then

25:38

I said, that's your Bonnie Poison

25:41

to Well right here. Yeah, exactly. I said,

25:43

if you can just do one

25:46

plug, please make it

25:48

for Paula's show in New York. Thanks again.

25:51

And Grammarly changed it to, if you

25:53

can do only one plug. Oh,

25:56

that's better. Right. Because

25:58

if you can just do. can be

26:00

read two different ways and and and one of

26:02

the ways is like you're sort of saying like

26:05

if that's the least you can do kind of

26:07

thing so I think I think that's a way

26:09

better one yeah yeah but if you're drinking I

26:11

think you can just do but

26:16

Bonnie I want to take a second to

26:18

just commend you for your broadcast instincts like

26:20

when you had that thought that maybe this

26:22

would be very interesting you

26:26

were right on sister

26:28

wow yeah she's had

26:30

an extensive background in

26:32

this sort of thing

26:34

yeah okay you know what I'm really

26:36

worried about right now that's so far

26:39

the most exciting part of this show

26:41

has been our six

26:43

time returning 45

26:46

years that's the base trombonist well now it's

26:49

been delightful and I want to take

26:59

us out with a delightful story I have

27:01

a story that is is nothing other

27:03

than just kind of a nice parenting

27:05

moment not actually probably bad parenting but

27:07

a nice moment for me nonetheless which

27:09

is that last weekend as

27:12

you guys know I have a local cover

27:14

band we're not any great chicks we barely

27:16

play out but we

27:18

had a gig at a fundraiser at my daughter's school

27:20

down the street and our lead

27:23

singer had to travel away

27:25

from town so we find ourselves without a lead

27:27

singer and instead

27:30

of canceling the gig Paul McCartney

27:32

in for our car wasn't well

27:34

Paul McCartney was our first choice but then he

27:36

got replaced at last minute because we got an

27:39

even better option my own son my 16 year

27:42

old son bass fell but took time

27:44

off of his rehearsal downtown came over

27:46

to the art thing and and sang

27:49

a couple of songs with his dad's

27:51

somewhat lame cover band and it was just

27:53

the greatest thing that's ever oh that's great

28:00

It was just a great, great thing. And you know, the

28:02

reason I said it was possibly bad parenting is because I

28:05

really, I asked my son to leave a rehearsal

28:07

that he was at and kind of just come

28:10

sing in his bad band. But it

28:12

was awesome. Oh, that sounds great. Okay.

28:16

I have a quick announcement, which is that the

28:18

reason we're not going to do this going around

28:20

the horn and saying hi to each other thing

28:22

next week is that next week is the return

28:25

of our bookie bookie book

28:28

club. I

28:31

guess Bonnie Burns is not going to sing until we're actually

28:33

doing it. Oh, well, I thought about it, but then, you

28:37

know, it seems kind of anticlimactic. Okay. Okay.

28:41

Okay. Here we go. We've almost

28:43

got a book club, a bookie bookie book

28:45

club. We've almost got a book club, a

28:47

bookie bookie book. That's

28:52

nice. It

28:54

was kind of South Park facetiousness.

28:56

Eric Cartman coming from Bonnie. Slowly,

29:01

the word club kind

29:03

of morphed into the

29:05

clean, clean, clean, clean,

29:07

clean, clean. You

29:10

know, we could use a Bob Dylan cover of the book

29:12

club song. I

29:14

could try that. Yeah, book club. Oh,

29:17

bad it may be good. Love for books.

29:19

No, go ahead and keep going. That

29:22

was fun. Okay. So,

29:25

oh, you mean the Bob Dylan? Oh, I'll bring that

29:27

to you sometime. That and I

29:29

have time for the book club. Let's

29:32

tell our listeners what the book club is about.

29:35

And this is a selection by Ms. Paula Poundstone.

29:37

It's got, I'm a little scared of it, but

29:39

I think it's a nice short book at least.

29:42

We're going to be reading Paula. What are we going to be reading?

29:47

Dracula. Dracula.

29:53

Dracula. The

29:56

classic novel that launched many a

29:58

franchise by Bram Stone. Joker. Many

30:01

a branch. I mean, when

30:03

you think of all the

30:05

things that spun off from

30:07

Dracula. So much. Yeah.

30:11

It's serial. Count Char-cula.

30:13

Count Char-cula. Absolutely. That's

30:15

the pinnacle right there. That's, you know, that's

30:17

something that the base,

30:20

45 years, base trombonist of

30:22

the Louisville Orchestra. Raymond never did.

30:24

He never had his trombone playing.

30:26

Never did. He never

30:28

had his trombone playing turn into

30:30

a serial. Yeah,

30:33

never. So there we go. We're

30:35

going to be reading it. I suspect it's going

30:37

to be really bad, but we'll find out. And

30:40

you'll find out with us listeners. So because we

30:42

haven't even looked at the book yet and we

30:44

don't know how long the chapters are, let's just

30:46

for the sake of argument say we're going to

30:48

be reading chapters one through three of Bram Stoker's

30:51

Dracula for next week in our Bookie Bookie Book

30:53

Club. No, we're not. We're

30:55

not going to read chapters one through

30:58

three. We're going to read

31:00

chapters one through three. I

31:06

just want to declare that

31:09

I am going to commit myself

31:12

to reading the assignment

31:15

because some of the nobodies have complained

31:18

that it's not great when, you

31:20

know, we don't read the stuff. So

31:22

you're going to commit to it. I am. Wow.

31:25

Now that creates a hole and a

31:27

silence that Tony Anita Hall needs to

31:30

continue. What?

31:37

Tony Anita Hall, are you going to commit

31:39

at this moment to reading Bram Stoker's Dracula

31:41

with us? I

31:44

do not like making commitment. Wow.

31:48

No, I'm going to try.

31:52

She already expended all the

31:54

commitment she had to Van Der Schoon. Who?

32:01

I actually have nothing else. I probably will read it. You

32:03

probably will. I was in a production of

32:05

Dracula once. Who

32:10

did you play? Did you play, what's her name? Lucy

32:12

or whatever her name was? Maybe. Is

32:14

there a Mina? Maybe the girl? I don't remember.

32:17

Yes, there is a Mina. She played Dracula's front left tooth.

32:21

Hey, that's a good role. You

32:25

want to be fang too in that show. Hey

32:27

everybody, you know, Terrence Winter said the first rule

32:29

of show business is to get off the stage

32:31

while people still want more. If

32:33

this week's movie had followed that

32:35

advice, it would have been 15

32:37

seconds long. Our review of Valley

32:39

of the Dolls when we come

32:41

back. And later we tour the

32:43

globe with Tony Needlehole on Land

32:45

Ho with Tony Needlehole. On

32:54

this day in unremarkable history, Bernie

32:56

Madoff said, whoops, I almost

32:58

walked off with your pen.

33:04

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35:29

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35:37

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35:43

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35:45

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35:47

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35:50

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35:52

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35:55

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37:24

just me, Paula Boundstone. I want to tell

37:27

you about a headgum podcast I think you're

37:29

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37:31

Nagin Farsad, which I've done a

37:33

few times now. So much fun.

37:35

You may know Nagin from her

37:37

TED Talk, from NPR's Wait, Wait,

37:40

Don't Tell Me, or her book,

37:42

How to Make White People Laugh.

37:44

On Fake the Nation, Nagin and

37:46

a rotating cast of her funniest,

37:48

smartest, and most politically astute friends,

37:50

people like Samantha Bee, Neil deGrasse

37:52

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37:55

Margaret Cho, and more. Break

37:57

down the news, make you

37:59

laugh. think and deliver a

38:01

gut punch to humanity. Wait,

38:03

do we really want to deliver a

38:05

gut punch to humanity? I thought we

38:08

wanted to uplift humanity, support, protect

38:10

humanity, but apparently Nageen has gone

38:12

over to the dark side. I

38:15

have had so much fun doing

38:17

this show. Nageen tells me that

38:19

one time I role

38:21

played Naomi Osaka's publicist.

38:24

I don't recall that

38:26

at all. But

38:29

I'm going to have to go back to that episode and

38:31

listen to it because it sounds funny. Uproxx

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38:36

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38:40

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now so you don't miss another

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38:52

every Thursday. And we're back and

38:54

oh boy, I'll be right back. A

39:23

big thank you to The Sensation, the

39:26

toast of three continents, House Band Raymond

39:28

Horton. Tony

39:32

you disappeared but I take it you're still here? I'm still

39:34

here. Yeah, I just turned off my camera. Oh,

39:37

you don't have to tell us why. No,

39:40

no, it's okay. Because I just

39:42

read on the internet a quote

39:44

from Jack Nicholson where he was explaining that

39:46

at one point he wanted to get used

39:48

to being naked. And

39:51

so he spent three months staying

39:53

at home but being naked all the

39:55

time. And people would come over but

39:58

he just lived like. nudist in

40:00

his dwelling and that's what

40:02

Tony is doing. Oh my god! Wow!

40:07

I hate being nude. Wow!

40:14

Are you a never nude? I'm a

40:16

never nude. It's

40:19

one of my favorite little things of

40:21

the early of that show Arrested Development

40:24

is that David Cross plays a character who

40:26

at one point confesses that he's a never

40:28

nude and for the rest of the series

40:30

you sometimes see him like showering in tiny

40:32

jean shorts. It's

40:34

so good. That's great. It's so good.

40:36

And now as another one of our

40:38

immensely popular guest list shows are wont

40:41

to do, it is time

40:43

for Paula Poundstone and Adam Felber to

40:45

do their movie

40:47

review theme song Bonnie. I

40:55

thought we were gonna have

40:58

a thing. No way! She

41:02

really belted that out didn't

41:04

she? See

41:10

if you can throw a musical bed underneath that. The

41:13

way she committed to it, that's

41:15

what was beautiful about it. Really

41:18

hit those high notes. Yeah

41:21

absolutely. There were the three high notes that there

41:23

were. So in any case we watched, now Paula

41:25

there's a new movie in the movie theater called

41:27

The Bad Place is it? Is it the bad

41:29

country? I think it's Land of Bad. The Land

41:32

of Bad. The Land of Bad and you thought

41:34

that the best way to review the Land of

41:36

Bad is for us to go to the archives

41:38

and watch Valley of the Dolls. Valley of the

41:40

Dolls which you had seen and I had never

41:43

seen until this moment and I can talk about

41:45

that in just a minute. Came out around the

41:47

year I was born. I'd done my whole lifetime

41:49

without saying it. Came out in 1967. Indeed

41:52

it did and here I'll just give my little

41:54

capsule summary like I tend to do although this

41:56

is going to be shorter than most and then

41:58

we can get to discussing it. Valley

42:01

of the Dolls. It's the swinging 60s

42:03

and three swinging young women in swing

42:05

in New York City become friends as

42:07

they take big swings at swing and

42:09

show business. Anne

42:12

is a spunky young college girl who takes

42:14

a job at a theatrical agency where she

42:16

meets nearly a spunky young actress whose career

42:19

is quickly squashed by Helen, a spunky old

42:21

actress who is a jealous cutthroat. Meanwhile the

42:23

two young women befriend the spunky young chorus

42:25

girl Jennifer who, I don't

42:27

know, she seems nice. At some point

42:30

Anne falls for Lyon who works with

42:32

her and manages both young Neely and

42:34

old Helen and then Neely's career takes

42:36

off and everyone moves to Hollywood. Helen

42:38

becomes a big star and gets hooked

42:40

on booze and dolls which is a

42:42

kind of pill and becomes a raving

42:44

bitch goes to rehab relapses and ends

42:46

up a sobbing screaming out of work

42:48

mess. Jennifer marries a crooner

42:50

who five minutes later turns out to

42:52

have Huntington's Korea and has to be

42:54

institutionalized leaving Jennifer to make softcore pornography

42:56

to pay the bills until she's diagnosed

42:58

with breast cancer and commits suicide. Spoiler

43:00

alert, suicide. Anne does a lot better

43:03

for no fucking reason at all. She

43:05

becomes a world-famous model for a cosmetics

43:08

company, watches her friends spiral down the

43:10

toilet, dabbles with dogs until she walks

43:12

into the ocean and almost drowns

43:14

herself and eventually settles down in her

43:17

old New England home far from Swiggin,

43:19

New York and Los Angeles, the end.

43:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good that's

43:23

a good summary. It doesn't, you know,

43:26

I know that your summaries are bare-bones,

43:29

you don't, you know, there's not a lot

43:31

of editorializing there's, you know, you don't

43:33

really thumbs up or thumbs down for

43:35

the most part during your... No, not

43:37

during the summary. No, no, no,

43:41

I'm glad that you, you know, I was counting

43:43

on you to do the summary because I realize

43:45

many of our listeners have never seen Valley of

43:47

the Dolls and I personally, I

43:50

don't know how you for I am humbled by

43:52

the mission of trying to convey to the

43:54

listener how impactful this film

43:56

is. I saw it originally years

43:59

ago. Certainly not in 1967,

44:01

but I saw it years ago. My

44:03

video tape of it is broken, turns

44:05

out. So I

44:08

rented on like Amazon or

44:10

something yesterday. In other news,

44:12

Paula Pounceman had a video tape of Valley of the

44:14

Dolls. Yeah. Wow.

44:17

Okay. And I'm going to replace it. I'm

44:19

going to get a new video tape of Valley of the

44:21

Dolls. So

44:23

I watched it once yesterday and I

44:26

took some notes and then I realized

44:28

I had to work and watch it

44:30

again because there is so much

44:32

going on in this movie. First of

44:35

all, John Williams did the soundtrack.

44:37

He didn't. With Andre

44:39

Previn, two titans of

44:42

film scoring. It was

44:44

also Richard Dreyfuss' first movie.

44:48

He has a 30 second part. He

44:50

plays an assistant stage manager backstage at

44:52

one of Nealey's productions. Now

44:55

I originally thought that it

44:57

starred Patty Duke who plays the

45:00

Nealey O'Hara character. It

45:03

doesn't. It does not star

45:06

Patty Duke. Barbara Parkins is

45:08

the star and she plays

45:10

the Ann Wells character. She

45:13

opens the story, narrating

45:17

her story and it closes

45:19

with her narration. So

45:23

she's a young woman who leaves

45:25

her snowy New England hometown and

45:27

her hometown boyfriend to make

45:29

her way in New York City. I

45:31

never paid any attention to

45:33

the little film sequence, the

45:36

title sequence, but

45:38

it has these line drawings, almost like

45:40

stick figures of humans. And when

45:42

they're turned sideways on the screen,

45:44

which they do, what appeared to

45:46

be a rudimentary figure

45:48

with breasts become mountain

45:50

peaked. And

45:53

the voice of Ann Wells says, It's

45:55

about to climb Mount Everest to reach the

45:57

valley of the dawns. waiting

46:04

for the wish of exhilaration but it

46:06

doesn't mean you're alone. And

46:09

the feeling of loneliness is overpowering.

46:11

Now she says it in a

46:13

kind of breathy almost republican state

46:16

of the union response breathy.

46:19

Yeah. Oh there was a lot of that. She

46:21

was very much like, what's her name?

46:23

Brit? What's her name? Yeah.

46:26

It's so easy to

46:28

overlook this because Anne's

46:30

story is really not the

46:32

main story that you're interested in while

46:34

you watch the movie. Well no, she's an

46:36

assistant. She starts as an assistant at a

46:38

talent agency. As I said, when she finally

46:40

does, two-thirds, three-quarters of the way

46:42

into the movie, land this

46:45

modeling career, there was nothing that led to it.

46:47

No, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Which

46:50

by the way, nearly later comments

46:52

on then the stick figures. This is just

46:55

the title sequence. The stick figures. Which

46:57

was the best part of the movie by far. Have

47:00

turned into women in dresses, one blue, one

47:02

red, one yellow. I never noticed that. I

47:04

don't think I noticed this until

47:06

at least my third viewing of the movie. A

47:09

capsule, a medicine capsule of

47:11

the size of each woman's

47:14

body appears behind her and

47:16

she backs into it. The

47:19

capsules now look more lifelike

47:21

and they spill open and

47:23

a white powder spills out

47:25

of the... I

47:28

can tell Adam from the fact that you're already

47:30

declaring there wasn't a good movie. I think it

47:32

was one of the best movies of all time.

47:35

I can tell already that you

47:37

don't get that there's a lot of symbolism in the

47:39

film. By the

47:41

way, until midway through my

47:44

yesterday's viewing, I never

47:46

realized that dolls is some kind of

47:48

slang for pills. Wow.

47:51

Because they do say that several times in

47:53

the movie. I don't know.

47:55

It's just not what I ever focused on.

47:57

I could watch this movie a hundred more

48:00

times. I really could. And I

48:02

would find a hundred more pieces

48:04

of symbolism clumsily wedged into it.

48:06

This movie is the film expression

48:08

of my linen closet, where

48:12

when I go to put towels away, I just wedge

48:14

them in. There are a

48:16

lot of people who agree with you. I mean, the reason

48:18

I always felt like I was missing out and I have

48:20

not seen this because I have friends who've talked about this

48:23

movie basically all my life. And that

48:25

partly the reason is, is that I've

48:27

had, you know, many, many gay friends

48:29

over the years. And this is in

48:31

the Camp Cannon of gay America in

48:33

the biggest way. This is near the

48:35

top of the list. I didn't realize

48:37

it, even though I've seen it before,

48:39

I didn't realize it until last night

48:41

that it's one of the greatest movies ever made.

48:45

That sounds like Stockholm Syndrome more than

48:48

film criticism, but okay. In the

48:50

opening credits, they cite the

48:52

handbag provider. It

48:54

says handbags by Lewis

48:57

Persis. Well, that's a company

48:59

name, clearly. Okay, but here's the thing. Whoever,

49:02

like, cared about that

49:04

or thought about that, but that's

49:06

because it's not a first time

49:08

viewing thing that you notice. I'll

49:11

tell you. Okay. No, I didn't notice. Dionne

49:13

Warwick sings the theme song for the

49:15

movie, and it has

49:17

some sort of words, gotta get, gotta

49:19

get off on my own. She

49:32

sings it all the way through during the

49:34

opening credits, and then she starts to sing

49:36

it again at several points during the movie.

49:39

And by the way, I love Dionne Warwick,

49:41

but I have to say that

49:43

as a viewer, you

49:45

begin to respond automatically

49:48

by wincing and backing into the corner at

49:50

the sound of the first two notes of

49:52

the song because you go, Oh no, here it

49:54

comes. Here it comes. It is

49:57

an awful song. Just an awful song. And

49:59

when you look listen carefully to the

50:01

lyrics. It's just, it only gets worse.

50:17

All right. So as

50:19

Adam says, Anne gets this secretarial job at

50:21

what they referred to as a theatrical law

50:24

firm. It's an agency. It's a

50:26

talented agency. And she's told to

50:28

get some papers signed by older actress

50:30

Helen Lawson played by Susan Hayward, uh,

50:34

where rehearsals are taking place for

50:36

Helen Lawson's Broadway show. And

50:38

right in front of Anne, Helen

50:41

Lawson cuts the song that young

50:43

Neely O'Hara is working on simply

50:45

because Neely is

50:47

young and talented. The

50:49

girl who was singing out there, she's very good, isn't she? The

50:52

song goes and the kid with it. Oh,

50:54

Helen, come on. Neely O'Hara can't

50:56

hurt you. You bet your

50:58

ass he can't because she isn't going to

51:00

get the chance. As Anne Wells, and

51:03

this was her first task while working at

51:05

this agency, she hasn't been hired yet. They

51:07

just send her off to get these signatures

51:09

from Helen Lawson to see if

51:11

she can hack it in this world. As,

51:14

as Anne Wells, shyly asked Helen

51:16

Lawson to sign contracts. Helen says,

51:19

and this movie is full

51:22

of lines that are so great.

51:24

Great. Helen says, give me a

51:26

fountain pen, would you? And now one

51:28

of those lousy ball points. Right

51:36

there. You get the underlying

51:38

conflict, Adam. See, this is how I

51:40

know you didn't understand the film. Right

51:43

there, you get the underlying conflict of

51:45

the young versus the old. It's that

51:47

generational fiction. That's just part of

51:49

what makes this film timeless. There will

51:52

always be that generalist kids, kids

51:54

with their rap music and their

51:56

ballpoint pens. That's what it was.

51:58

Make America great again. back

52:00

to fountain pens. It's a tale

52:02

as old as time. When the

52:04

producer or maybe the director objects

52:06

to Helen's cutting young Neily's song,

52:09

Helen says, the

52:11

only hit that comes out of a

52:13

Helen Lawson show is Helen

52:15

Lawson. The only hit that comes out

52:17

of a Helen Lawson show is Helen

52:20

Lawson. And that's me, baby. Remember? And

52:22

that's me, baby. Remember? She

52:26

says a lot of stuff out of the side

52:28

of her mouth, the Helen character. Uh, yeah, that's

52:30

part of the evolution of a declining star is

52:33

eventually they just start to talk out

52:35

of this. I'm telling you, that's how

52:37

Liza did it. Yeah.

52:43

This movie is like a Marx Brothers film. You can't

52:45

keep up with all the quotable

52:48

lines. They missed so many merchandising

52:50

opportunities in this movie. There's hardly

52:52

a line in it that doesn't belong on

52:54

a t-shirt. Uh, and

52:56

Wells is horrified by the cruelty

52:59

of show business. She wants to quit. This

53:01

is on her first day, but back at

53:03

the office, she meets the young womanizing theatrical

53:06

lawyer, lion, the agent, and

53:08

she's so taken by him that she

53:10

accidentally spills the contents of her purse.

53:14

Need I tell you, Adam, it's

53:17

a Lewis purse. Uh, it's a, it's a

53:19

plot. No, no, I saw that

53:21

right away. It's a plot. But Neely's boyfriend

53:23

is Mel, the young publicity man

53:25

working on the Helen Lawson Broadway

53:27

show, who also happens to be

53:30

Martin Milner from Adam 12. Remember that?

53:32

Did you ever see that show? I

53:34

never, I was aware of it, but I never spent a rest. It

53:36

was a cop show with two young cops. One

53:38

was Adam. As a, as a kid growing up,

53:41

uh, named Adam in the seventies, uh,

53:44

as a young kid, too young to watch that show,

53:46

having adults constantly saying one Adam 12 to me was

53:49

that's an albatross around my

53:51

neck. Okay. Well, that's exactly why I was not

53:54

to you, but I was about to say, uh,

53:56

Martin Milner from Adam 12, one Adam 12,

53:58

one Adam 12. Which

54:00

is what they always said on the radio.

54:02

I still don't know what that means and

54:04

I don't want to. It's got it in

54:06

my... I'm being triggered in a big way

54:08

here. It's their call sign. Yeah on from

54:11

the dispatch. No, I get it.

54:13

One out of twelve, one out of twelve.

54:15

Okay Sharon Tate plays Jennifer, a

54:17

showgirl Who is the tits and ass

54:20

of the Helen Lawson show. The

54:23

very night she loses her job on

54:25

the Helen Lawson show Lion,

54:28

the womanizing theatrical lawyer gets Neely.

54:30

So this is Neely who's lost

54:33

her job. He gets

54:35

her a spot singing on a

54:37

cystic fibrosis telethon. Can we

54:39

take... Can we hold that thought for a second

54:41

so we can ask Bonnie about Elon Musk and

54:46

Don Lemon for a sec? No, this is not... No.

54:48

I feel like I'm a little more engaged with that

54:50

than this. No, that's because you didn't understand

54:53

this movie Adam. Oh I did.

54:55

Okay, Neely notched their socks

54:57

out. Let's have a nice cause of reception if you will.

55:00

Lovely Neely O'Hara. Everybody let's hear

55:02

it out today. Patty

55:12

Duke gave a spirited performance of the song.

55:14

It turns out she didn't sing it. It

55:16

was dubbed. But still when you

55:18

consider that only a few films ago Patty

55:20

Duke couldn't see, hear or talk. It's

55:23

amazing. Okay,

55:25

that's a good point. That's a fair point. Yeah. She

55:28

was deaf and blind and mute.

55:30

So after she does the

55:32

cystic fibrosis telethon, Keep

55:35

in mind she worked early in the day.

55:38

She was rehearsing for the Helen Lawson show

55:40

that she gets canned from. Afterwards

55:44

Neely and one Adam 12 and

55:47

Lion and Ann all go to a

55:49

nightclub to hear

55:52

nightclub sensation Tony Pilar

55:55

sing. Yeah. Yeah.

55:57

Coincidentally Jennifer is sitting in

55:59

a table. table right up front with an old

56:01

rich guy gold digging. Then it

56:03

turns out the guy who runs

56:05

the nightclub caught Neely's performance on

56:07

the telethon that night and lying

56:09

gets her a job at that

56:11

nightclub. There are so many coincidences

56:13

in this movie. They just bump

56:16

into one another. There are so many of

56:18

them that, you know, a less well schooled

56:20

film critic like yourself might be

56:22

tempted to call them bullshit,

56:24

lazy writing. No, no, no,

56:27

no, no. They you don't know

56:29

a lot about New York. I'm just saying

56:31

that somebody less and less intelligent, somebody like

56:33

me might be tempted to understand the film.

56:36

They get the word facile came to

56:38

mind a lot in

56:40

regards to the plot for me. They bump into

56:42

one another a lot in New York City. And

56:44

there's a lot of bumping into so much

56:46

for getting away from this small town, I

56:49

guess. All right. Anyway, Jennifer

56:51

cannot take her eyes off

56:53

this nightclub singer, Tony Pillar, and he

56:55

is riveted to her. He

56:57

sings a song that has lines

56:59

like this, come live with me and be

57:02

my love, if only for a day. Come

57:05

live with me and see my

57:07

love, how fast it fades away.

57:09

Love is a flower. It lasts

57:11

for an hour and then withers

57:13

and dies. Adam, any

57:15

line from this song could be on a T-shirt

57:17

or the whole song could be on like a

57:19

wedding quilt. Well, isn't the

57:21

isn't the first line of it just copying

57:24

a better work from Shakespeare? Isn't that

57:26

a Shakespearean sonnet? Come live with me

57:28

and be my love. Oh,

57:30

I'm not. We shall all the pleasures prove. Somebody

57:32

wrote that. I don't I don't read Shakespeare.

57:36

OK, hopefully

57:38

Tony's off there somewhere. Googling. All

57:41

right. Having done so well with my

57:43

own remarkably soft, try polyblend T-shirt with

57:45

a self-portrait on the front left breast

57:48

and a memorable quote on the back in

57:50

both standard and baseball styles available at

57:52

polyblendstone.com. It simply kills

57:54

me to see them miss these marketing

57:57

gold mines here after the

57:59

nightclub. show Neely and her boyfriend, one Adam

58:01

12, go back to

58:04

her apartment. Oh, how dare you.

58:06

And she steals a neighbor's milk

58:08

delivery. Pay attention to this, Adam. This

58:10

is part of what you didn't understand.

58:12

She steals a neighbor's milk delivery and

58:14

drinks from the bottle right in the

58:16

hallway. See, because at

58:19

that time in her life, she was

58:22

pure. She was innocent. It

58:24

was symbolism, Adam. It was symbolism. Bonnie,

58:26

you, this sort of shit love it

58:28

was symbolism. No, that's what you do

58:31

it. So Neely and one Adam 12

58:33

are so excited about her success that

58:35

once inside her apartment, they embrace and

58:38

she tells him that as they're

58:40

hugging, she says, that's what an audience

58:42

feels like a big hug. I

58:45

can tell you, I can tell you from

58:47

my own personal experience. That's right. It does Adam an

58:49

audience applauding feels like a big hug. I do agree

58:52

with that. But, but yeah, I didn't

58:54

feel it was very well earned in that moment

58:56

in the thing, but go on, go on. You

58:58

know, podcasting doesn't have that because we

59:00

don't have an audience right in front of

59:02

us. We have to get our big hugs from Nailbag.

59:10

Okay, Lock Edition. Helen Lawson's

59:13

show opens in New Haven. And

59:16

she sings a song and a gown on a

59:18

stage with a giant mobile of different pieces of

59:20

colored glass rotating around her head. Yeah. Okay, as

59:22

we said, this movie came out in 1967. It

59:25

is an own to the 60s. It is a

59:27

tribute. It is

59:29

to the 60s. Yeah, the hairstyles,

59:32

the dresses, the dangly earrings, earrings,

59:35

the Neely hard work. Okay, there's

59:37

where so Neely now her

59:40

career is taking off. And

59:42

they do a montage of her of

59:45

her acting, singing, dancing training,

59:48

followed by the showbiz success

59:50

montage with you know, where

59:52

the variety magazine is, you

59:54

know, they show the headlines

59:56

about her nearly shoots straight

59:58

to the top. She was

1:00:00

packing a man at all her shows and it

1:00:02

all started with Anne Bancroft being the fuck

1:00:05

out of her to make her fold her napkin.

1:00:07

Oh, okay. During the hard

1:00:09

work montage during which there

1:00:12

is music but no sound,

1:00:15

a dance teacher gives Neely some

1:00:17

pills and one Adam

1:00:19

12, her boyfriend, looks on

1:00:21

and mouves, no, but she shrugs

1:00:24

and tosses them back. Yeah.

1:00:28

Meanwhile, Tony and Jennifer want to get

1:00:30

married but Tony explains that his sister, who

1:00:33

is his manager, played by Lee Grant, has

1:00:35

this thing about marriage. You're making me

1:00:37

relive this. This is like I have to

1:00:39

relive a lot of trauma today. She thinks

1:00:41

it'll destroy my image, he says. And

1:00:43

let me just say, again, I'm in the

1:00:45

show business, Bonnie is the same way with

1:00:47

me. Time after time, she has

1:00:49

come between me and my man. From

1:00:54

out of nowhere, and this is something that clearly

1:00:56

you objected to, too, this is a little jarring,

1:00:59

from out of nowhere. Anne is at work

1:01:01

one day. Her lawyer boss is meeting with

1:01:03

a client who has a successful hairspray product

1:01:06

and the client hires Anne,

1:01:10

his lawyer secretary, to

1:01:12

be the spokesmodel for this

1:01:15

product while she skyrockets to

1:01:17

success. Meanwhile, Jennifer's husband

1:01:19

Tony falls ill and she starts

1:01:21

taking pills. They have to put...

1:01:24

Tony's the lounge singer. Yeah. They

1:01:26

have to put Tony in a sanitarium. So

1:01:28

Jennifer starts making porn films

1:01:31

in France to pay for the

1:01:33

sanitarium. Let's face it, all

1:01:35

I know how to do is take off my clothes. Neely

1:01:38

is making movies now but she's falling

1:01:41

into decline. She's gotten mean. She

1:01:43

yells at everyone. It's because of

1:01:45

the dolls. She's taking the dolls day and

1:01:47

night and boozing it up. That's what

1:01:49

they say. Every time she says a mean thing,

1:01:52

she rolls her upper lip tightly over

1:01:54

her front teeth. That's how she does

1:01:56

it. She'll go, I don't need you.

1:02:00

said you something. Everyone gets paid back to

1:02:02

hear everyone. I'm

1:02:04

not everyone. I don't have

1:02:06

to live by thinking rules set down for

1:02:08

ordinary people. I lick pills,

1:02:10

booze, and a funny farm. I don't

1:02:13

need anybody or anything. That's something to

1:02:15

look for when you have a major

1:02:17

personality change. She's also

1:02:19

a veritable font of homophobic slurs.

1:02:21

She's really good at that. Not

1:02:24

any more than the others. I think you're... not

1:02:27

any more than the others. I think she

1:02:29

gets to say the most. No, she doesn't. No.

1:02:32

Oh, okay. In fact, it's kind of one

1:02:34

out of 12 who lets

1:02:36

it rip. All right.

1:02:39

So, Neely at one point walks off the

1:02:42

set while making a film, and a guy

1:02:44

on the cruise says, it's

1:02:47

the sauce. Oh

1:02:49

my God. That might be one of my

1:02:51

favorite moments in any film. It's the sauce.

1:02:54

And all I can think is t-shirts,

1:02:57

beach towels. It's

1:02:59

the sauce. Okay. You know,

1:03:02

everybody knows what happens from here. Neely's on

1:03:04

the highway to hell. But in this movie,

1:03:06

the lines just get greater and greater.

1:03:08

She defends her drug use angrily at

1:03:10

one point. She says, Sure, I take

1:03:12

dogs. I'm gonna get some sleep. I'm

1:03:15

gonna get up at five o'clock in the

1:03:17

morning and sparkle, Neely. Sparkle. I have to

1:03:19

get up at five in the morning and

1:03:21

sparkle, Neely. Sparkle. And

1:03:24

all I can think of is

1:03:26

pillowcases, alarm clocks, coffee mugs. Sparkle,

1:03:30

Neely. Sparkle. One out

1:03:32

of 12 leaves her, accuses her. Here's

1:03:36

the part you were upset about. Accuses

1:03:38

her of spending too much time with

1:03:40

that fag clothing designer, Ted Casablanca.

1:03:43

Okay. You know what? I don't believe in slurs

1:03:47

like that. But the

1:03:49

man's name is Ted Casablanca. Come on. Yeah.

1:03:54

That's just not fair. Well,

1:03:57

she ends up marrying him, by the way. She's, that's

1:03:59

what she responds. She responds to one out of 12. She

1:04:03

says, Ted Casablanca is not a

1:04:05

fag and I'm the dame who

1:04:07

can prove it. Right here

1:04:09

they get extra points for the use of the

1:04:12

word dame. Yeah, you got to give them that.

1:04:14

And this is the argument, and again, some

1:04:16

symbolism, Adam, that I think you overlook. This

1:04:18

is the argument where one out

1:04:20

of 12 and nearly have

1:04:22

out by their pool, which is overlooking

1:04:24

Hollywood. Yeah. It's

1:04:26

nearly- Very picturesque. It's

1:04:29

everybody's idea of it,

1:04:31

right? Neely throws her cigarette

1:04:33

in the pool and there's

1:04:35

a close up shot of this

1:04:37

cigarette floating in the pool. It's

1:04:40

symbolism. Yes. You

1:04:42

didn't think this movie was good, Adam,

1:04:44

because you didn't understand the symbolism. It's

1:04:46

a beautiful setting. It was partly

1:04:48

that and it was partly because it was just terrible.

1:04:51

It's one of the greatest movies ever made. Okay.

1:04:54

It's this beautiful setting. It's everybody's

1:04:56

version of having it all and

1:04:59

it's ruined by drinking and

1:05:01

drugs and cigarettes. If it

1:05:03

was made now, everyone's version

1:05:05

of having it all would

1:05:08

be ruined by drinking, drugs,

1:05:10

cigarettes, and podcasting. And

1:05:13

they might just watch their step a little more

1:05:15

closely as a result. Okay. Fair.

1:05:18

Jennifer gets diagnosed with breast cancer because she's made

1:05:20

her living as a porn star. She feels

1:05:22

there's nothing left for her. So

1:05:25

she overdoses on pills and

1:05:27

as the coroner takes- Dolls. Dolls.

1:05:30

And they don't just call it, they're not

1:05:32

called dolls. They're called dolls. Like sort

1:05:35

of more of a Robert

1:05:38

Shaw pronunciation. Dolls, eyes,

1:05:40

dolls. So

1:05:43

as the coroner takes the body out on the

1:05:45

gurney, Ann and Lion are

1:05:48

walking behind the covered body and

1:05:50

there's a gaggle of press, you know, shouting

1:05:52

questions at them. You know, you were the

1:05:54

last one to see her. Was this an accident?

1:05:56

How is she feeling? What was wrong with her?

1:05:59

And kind of cutting. covered a little bit

1:06:01

by all the other voices. One press guy

1:06:03

says, can you give us her measurements? God,

1:06:06

this was a great movie. Oh, that's great. That's

1:06:08

a good line. See, this is my

1:06:10

point. You have to watch it like

1:06:12

three, at least three times, I would

1:06:14

say, to hear all the, to see.

1:06:16

Neely ends up in the sanitarium. She

1:06:18

kicks booze and pills. Lion

1:06:20

gets her in a Broadway play. She's

1:06:23

supposed to stay under wraps until the

1:06:25

unveiling of the play, but one night

1:06:27

Lion, who's fucking around with her now,

1:06:29

has to go to a party for

1:06:31

aging star, Helen Lawson, Susan Hayward, and

1:06:34

Neely crashes the party. She

1:06:36

takes all the attention away from Helen, so

1:06:38

Helen hides in the ladies' room, and

1:06:40

that's not satisfying enough to Neely. So

1:06:42

Neely goes in after her, and

1:06:45

Helen says, one

1:06:47

of the best lines in movie history, she says,

1:06:49

look. They drummed you

1:06:51

right out of Hollywood. So you

1:06:53

come crawling back to Broadway. Well,

1:06:57

Broadway doesn't go for booze

1:06:59

and dope. Now you

1:07:01

get out of my way, because I've got a man waiting

1:07:03

for me. That's a switch from

1:07:05

the fags you usually stuck with. Yikes.

1:07:08

Oh my God. This entire movie could

1:07:10

have been tweeted. Uh. I

1:07:14

don't, I don't believe in remakes, but

1:07:16

it should be remade, I think, this movie,

1:07:18

I would make an exception. It

1:07:21

should be remade at least every five

1:07:23

years. I

1:07:25

believe they have remade, or at least

1:07:27

adapted the novel by Jacqueline Suzanne twice

1:07:30

since then. Really? Who,

1:07:32

who? I believe so, yeah. Who's

1:07:34

it? I'm gonna look that up while you're

1:07:36

talking. I have no idea. I just discovered

1:07:38

it in passing last night after, after sitting

1:07:41

through this movie. But you know what, everybody?

1:07:43

We have now dissected the dolls, but

1:07:45

what does that mean for your future movie

1:07:47

going? It's time to visit

1:07:49

the Valley of the Verdict, when

1:07:52

we come back. Dolls,

1:07:55

okay. I'll be here. The

1:08:03

Canada Week is Kendall from Tucson,

1:08:06

Arizona. Jon

1:08:16

Stewart is back in the host chair

1:08:18

at The Daily Show, which means he's

1:08:20

also back in our ears on The

1:08:22

Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. The Daily

1:08:24

Show Podcast has everything you need to

1:08:26

stay on top of today's news and

1:08:28

pop culture. The

1:08:31

podcast has hilarious satirical dates on entertainment,

1:08:33

politics, sports, and more from Jon and

1:08:35

the team of correspondents and contributors. The

1:08:38

podcast also has content you can't get

1:08:40

anywhere else, like extended interviews and a

1:08:42

roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen

1:08:45

to The Daily Show, Ears Edition, wherever

1:08:47

you get your podcasts. The

1:08:50

spread of misinformation has fueled

1:08:52

our cultural divide and increased

1:08:54

our collective anxiety about the

1:08:56

future. Tackling misinformation isn't a

1:08:59

simple task, but it's important.

1:09:01

And that's why I'm so

1:09:03

excited to tell you about

1:09:05

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1:09:07

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1:09:14

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1:09:18

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1:09:20

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listen to a bunch of them at this point, Paul, I know,

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and you tell me you love it. I

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do. They're fascinating. The favorite

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or Area Get Your podcasts.

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Jesus. Get Ready

1:10:26

for the miracle of Mega A

1:10:28

comedy podcast from the sense of

1:10:30

a fictional mega church. And and

1:10:33

not only does it what is the best that

1:10:35

I'm Holly? Learn and I'm Greg has. Our

1:10:37

characters Holly and Gray welcome a new guess each week.

1:10:39

Played by some of the biggest names in Comedy About

1:10:41

Dancing. Like Scott Altman, Laura my guest

1:10:43

posts here to some as Lucas, Cecily

1:10:45

Strong, and Duncan Trussell I just love

1:10:47

to think about as the light shining

1:10:50

down on others corpses in the water

1:10:52

and know us just going by. Maybe

1:10:54

maybe a mom? be like free. About

1:10:58

it completely improvised and it's devilishly

1:11:01

for me. Is there any person

1:11:03

for us? about what it means.

1:11:05

To live a life in Christ. I. Guess

1:11:07

how much to do things both?

1:11:09

There's a new episode every Sunday.

1:11:12

Listen and subscribe to Mega. Wherever.

1:11:14

You to his I guess as I have

1:11:16

a had versa ya do ya do ya

1:11:18

Sigma we on say go see the shoot

1:11:20

bears your that energy to bend is using

1:11:22

okay him a. Man.

1:11:27

Who. Move.

1:11:32

Move.

1:11:36

Fun fact: I'm Saturn's biggest

1:11:39

moon Titans! It literally rains

1:11:41

liquid methane, which locals referred

1:11:43

to as a shit storm.

1:11:48

Who move

1:11:52

and. We

1:11:54

are back and we descended in that

1:11:56

last as segment into the Valley of

1:11:58

the Dolls. I'm Paula Thank. for your

1:12:00

into the Valley of the Dolls. I need

1:12:03

another doll. Oh

1:12:05

my God. Genius. But here we have a movie.

1:12:07

It's an action movie, a thriller, I believe. It's

1:12:09

got a couple of Hemsworths in it. Maybe

1:12:12

Russell Crowe. I didn't really pay that close

1:12:14

attention. But it's called The Land of Bad.

1:12:17

And so Paula Poundstone, based on your

1:12:19

experience with the Valley of the Dolls,

1:12:21

should our listeners go see The Land

1:12:23

of Bad? Valley of the Dolls

1:12:26

is obviously one of the best films ever made.

1:12:28

I don't think you can go wrong with Land

1:12:30

of Bad. Land

1:12:32

of Bad is a shoo-in. Oh

1:12:35

my God. That's not a bad

1:12:37

recommendation. I've got to say, from my

1:12:39

perspective, I love bad movies. And so

1:12:41

in the canon of bad movies, Valley

1:12:44

of the Dolls fits snugglingly right in

1:12:46

there. However, it is also excruciating. I

1:12:48

can't imagine that Land of the Bad

1:12:50

is going to give you as

1:12:53

many campy thrills as Valley of the Dolls.

1:12:55

And thus I say, do not go see

1:12:57

Land of the Bad. Wow. Ooh. Land

1:13:00

of Bad. Yeah? Yeah.

1:13:02

I'm surprised. No, I really,

1:13:04

honestly, I'm thinking of doing a

1:13:06

segment of Nobody

1:13:09

Listens to Paula Poundstone where every

1:13:11

episode we do just

1:13:13

a line from Valley of the Dolls.

1:13:17

Bet we could get away with that. We could probably just grab

1:13:19

the screenplay and do it. Yeah. At the

1:13:21

very least we owe ourselves a theatrical staged

1:13:23

reading of Valley of the Dolls starring Paula

1:13:25

Poundstone and, dare I say it, Adam Felber.

1:13:28

Yeah. Oh my God. It's good. It's just so

1:13:30

good. So stay tuned for that. I'm

1:13:32

sure that's going to be an episode coming up, everybody.

1:13:34

We've got to do something on this show. Anyway, now

1:13:36

that we've descended into the Valley of the Dolls and somehow

1:13:39

emerged from the Land of Bad, where

1:13:41

the hell are we? We'll

1:13:43

find out in Land Hole with Tony

1:13:45

and Ida Hull when we

1:13:47

come back. Yay. Whoa.

1:14:01

And now Azusa say

1:14:03

some businesses handcart says

1:14:06

he has asked to

1:14:08

see sea hawks say

1:14:11

first. Depressing.

1:14:16

This has been a news updates from the

1:14:18

dental chairs. And

1:14:48

we're back where bags We returned from the

1:14:50

Valley of the Dog And ah thank you

1:14:53

How span Raymond Orton for sticking with us

1:14:55

through the Valley of the Dolls And speaking

1:14:57

about the Valdez the amount never returning from

1:14:59

the valley is a doll's I am Yeah

1:15:02

you and we went full. Oh My God

1:15:04

I it's origins in here is the same

1:15:06

song is My head. Noses

1:15:09

were listeners who were spared her like

1:15:11

we spent our purported break. Just as

1:15:13

soon as we're talking about our i'll

1:15:15

tell You what are the greatest films.

1:15:18

Ever made. Yeah, space proposal. You might

1:15:20

not be visiting the land of bad

1:15:22

or valley the dogs but you are

1:15:24

traveling a lot in two weeks to

1:15:27

com. Are you not? I am. I

1:15:29

have some shows coming out and Masters

1:15:31

segue. Oh that was brilliant. But

1:15:33

I wanted to tell you, sit last

1:15:35

week after my showed Chicago when I

1:15:37

was in the lobby meeting and greeting

1:15:39

and signing Poundstone Pussy Pillows and taking

1:15:42

pictures. A wholesale leave Nobody seems to

1:15:44

me and they said they love it

1:15:46

when our podcast as long. I.

1:15:48

Know this is anecdotal and not

1:15:50

a scientific survey. But

1:15:54

it was certainly one hundred percent of the nobody

1:15:56

sues talk to me. But the show length. I

1:15:59

mean nobody else. has ever brought up the show

1:16:01

length before, but these, uh, this

1:16:03

family did. I, I, by the way, love

1:16:05

meeting nobody's at my live shows. Uh,

1:16:08

dare I say at my concerts, um,

1:16:10

I'd stick with live shows. Yeah. Okay. All

1:16:13

right. I heard you play glockenspiel. Yeah.

1:16:17

Well, I'm going to have the

1:16:20

chance to meet some more. Nobody's

1:16:22

in Pontiac, Michigan at Flagstar Strand

1:16:24

Theater on Saturday, April 13th. Get

1:16:27

your tickets at Paula poundstone.com. And

1:16:30

I'm going to come crawling back to

1:16:32

the nobody's in New York city, a

1:16:34

town hall on Friday, April 19th. Well,

1:16:39

New York doesn't want me,

1:16:41

but I'm coming anyway. So

1:16:43

get your tickets at Paula

1:16:46

poundstone.com. And I'll

1:16:48

have the chance to see the

1:16:50

real nobody's of Pittsfield, Massachusetts at

1:16:52

the colonial theater on

1:16:54

Saturday, May 4th, get your

1:16:56

tickets at Paula poundstone.com. Don't

1:16:58

come crawling back to Pittsfield,

1:17:01

Massachusetts. Guess what? It's

1:17:03

filled. Doesn't it's filled. Doesn't watch

1:17:05

your booze and your, and your,

1:17:07

and your dolls. Yeah.

1:17:12

You don't bring your booze or your dolls to

1:17:14

Pittsfield or New York. Paula. I wish I could

1:17:16

go to all those shows. I love town hall.

1:17:19

It's a great venue. If you're a

1:17:22

nobody within earshot, get yourself to the

1:17:24

town hall and see Paula Yeah. And

1:17:26

also Pittsfield is beautiful. The

1:17:28

Felber family, the Felber family used

1:17:31

to vacation near Pittsfield, near Lennox,

1:17:33

near Stockbridge up into Berkshires every

1:17:35

summer. And what could be

1:17:37

better than seeing Paula Poundstone in that bucolic

1:17:39

environment? Hey, I have something to

1:17:41

add. What? A what? What's that? For

1:17:46

all of Paula's tour dates,

1:17:48

visit the tour page at

1:17:50

Paula poundstone.com. Yeah.

1:17:53

She did say that three times. She did.

1:17:55

I didn't hear her say that. No,

1:17:58

she mentioned Paula poundstone.com. But

1:18:00

she didn't say if you want to know all

1:18:02

my other shows That's

1:18:05

very true and I'm sure will come as

1:18:07

a great shock to our listeners Don't

1:18:10

come crawling back to nobody who's a

1:18:12

ball of buzzer with you with your

1:18:14

booze and your tour page and your

1:18:16

dolls I'm

1:18:21

telling you Tony. I can't wait till you see this

1:18:23

movie I'm gonna watch it.

1:18:25

Hey speaking of dolls, we're gonna bring

1:18:27

a real genuine Nobody

1:18:29

listens to ball of bounce them down Up

1:18:32

to the microphone because it is

1:18:35

time everybody to get geographically correct

1:18:37

with Land ho

1:18:39

with Tony Anita ho

1:18:41

Oh Bonnie

1:18:49

just now I had to watch somebody sneak into

1:18:51

the room behind you and steal something Is

1:18:57

she moving out Absolutely

1:19:07

hilarious to hear from the outside I

1:19:13

have no idea what she said

1:19:15

because I've got this you're I can

1:19:17

hear her she said there's a ghost in your

1:19:19

hallway What

1:19:24

has happened I don't know Bonnie

1:19:29

do you want to tell us about the supernatural occurrences happening

1:19:31

in your hallway or do we get this land ho? You

1:19:34

know, here's the thing. She asked me could

1:19:37

I let her know texture a time when she

1:19:39

could just come in I'm

1:19:41

sure she was assuming like when we're not

1:19:44

recording but I just cuz she

1:19:46

needed something I just went come

1:19:48

in and That's

1:19:52

fundamentally uninteresting I want to hear about the ghost

1:20:00

He's bringing the gold. Oh

1:20:02

my god, Bonnie. That's like

1:20:04

a creepy doll on a stand. Yeah. What

1:20:07

the fuck is that doing in your house?

1:20:09

I bought it as an art piece. It's

1:20:12

on the stairs. It's

1:20:14

on the stairs like in a little stairwell where

1:20:16

you go in from one landing to

1:20:18

the other. What kind of art piece

1:20:20

is that? It's like they have it in a

1:20:22

museum. That

1:20:25

looks like something from Silence of the Lambs,

1:20:27

Bonnie. That's the fucking scariest thing I've ever

1:20:29

seen. That is so scary. No

1:20:32

museum unless it was a museum of serial

1:20:34

killers would show that. They're

1:20:36

not the only ones. They're

1:20:38

the only ones. I don't know.

1:20:41

I think it looks good. I'll give Julia a

1:20:43

kiss too. Yeah, we're going to need

1:20:45

that on our social media. All

1:20:48

right, moving on. It's

1:20:50

time for Land Ho with Tony Needlehole. Insert

1:20:52

theme song here. Land

1:20:55

Ho! We

1:20:59

need a ho! Hey,

1:21:02

Tony, what you got? Okay,

1:21:04

so it's going to be player's

1:21:07

choice. Do

1:21:09

you want to say stateside or do

1:21:11

you want to go abroad? I

1:21:14

want to go abroad. I do too. I

1:21:17

love the dolls. I

1:21:22

guess we're going abroad. I'm the one

1:21:24

broad who could do it. Tony,

1:21:30

I think we're saying we want to do abroad. Let me do it. Okay,

1:21:35

here we go. So

1:21:37

this week we're going to do a river.

1:21:41

Ooh. The Danube

1:21:43

River. What country

1:21:45

does it run through? Does it run through?

1:21:48

Does it pass through, yeah. Oh, I

1:21:50

know. It's Germany, right? Well,

1:21:55

okay, Bonnie, so you've decided to go first

1:21:57

here. Oh, wait. I forgot she's small. Oh,

1:21:59

yeah, well done. How can I

1:22:01

don't worry I felt ok city and

1:22:03

you. Danube. I can see

1:22:05

that where the any river runs through

1:22:07

when country. Wow Wow

1:22:09

Wow. Eight. Passes for

1:22:12

real or countries than any other river

1:22:14

in Europe. Wow. Sizes

1:22:16

gave you a hint. Okay, Okay,

1:22:19

So bonnie have gone first and says

1:22:21

Germany. Yes, Okay or

1:22:23

something or one of the sony

1:22:25

I guess when I say i

1:22:27

think a river with a really

1:22:29

good choice and a ribery the

1:22:31

goes to would say twelve countries

1:22:33

as as I'm concerned spells hit

1:22:35

a several times on earth. And

1:22:39

a success. And other know the Pentagon

1:22:41

and my. Mother

1:22:45

or another opportunity to say nothing by

1:22:48

the on that the has no it's

1:22:50

I wanted to. Second, I don't mind.

1:22:52

Body is starting to take on the

1:22:55

tendencies of grammarly which is there messing?

1:22:59

Something up things that don't need a punch. Yeah, she.

1:23:01

Repeats things incorrectly that someone else

1:23:03

and know okay I gotta say

1:23:05

I'm I'm not very good at

1:23:07

this. I don't think well as

1:23:10

I'm okay with I have to

1:23:12

picture myself floating on the Danube

1:23:14

and I look over there and

1:23:16

boy do I see Holland. Since.

1:23:21

I was sitting there holland the

1:23:23

Netherlands. Tony Now. Oh okay

1:23:25

for while I'm at my eyes

1:23:27

are not very good. sorry. I

1:23:31

missed I would. It is part of Europe is

1:23:33

not my strong suit either. Some of the worried

1:23:35

about the times to come but given that we

1:23:37

the I Germany I'm gonna go the Austria. Flows.

1:23:40

Through her and austria, oh that

1:23:42

was good. Yes. Oh bond

1:23:44

okay. And it is. Go

1:23:47

with France. No. Specific

1:23:50

as as. A

1:23:53

House on The Uncensored

1:23:56

Tude ceremony with through

1:23:58

Austria and. Okay,

1:24:00

wait hold on hold up Poland. I

1:24:03

was gonna say Poland I did Really

1:24:09

boy, I oh my god, I pulled

1:24:11

your chest not out of that fire didn't I

1:24:14

I don't know whose turn it is It's

1:24:16

Adam Alright, well I this

1:24:18

one I think I do know because I think

1:24:20

I think the Daniel goes through Prague So

1:24:23

I'm gonna go with what do they call

1:24:25

it nowadays that Czech Republic over there What

1:24:28

do they call the Czech Republic? I

1:24:30

think they call the Czech Republic How

1:24:40

about you cream, yep

1:24:46

Oh Okay, I think birds could win this

1:24:48

one. I'm no

1:24:50

good at it. And you um, what are

1:24:53

you looking at Paula? I'm thinking I'm closing

1:24:55

my eyes and thinking Okay,

1:24:57

yeah Okay, hold on. I

1:25:00

know. Oh, of course some

1:25:02

floating on the Danube And

1:25:05

I look over there and say hi Albania.

1:25:09

Oh That's

1:25:11

nice one Good

1:25:13

one, but not a correct. Oh Sorry,

1:25:20

I'll baby my mistake Wow,

1:25:23

I'm gonna go with some low-hanging fruit here just because

1:25:25

we did Austria. I'm gonna go with Hungary That

1:25:28

is correct. Oh, that was

1:25:30

good Adam motherfucker Okay,

1:25:34

Russia No

1:25:43

All right, all right Paula you're up Yeah,

1:25:46

six left six left on the table. Yeah,

1:25:48

well, I've gotten so many I Okay,

1:25:52

wait, was it hungry? It

1:25:54

wasn't dad it was okay Okay,

1:25:59

hold it. Hold it it just wait. I got

1:26:01

one. How about

1:26:03

Italy? That is

1:26:05

not correct. Mm-hmm.

1:26:08

Whoa, whoa. I was floating on

1:26:10

the dandu but I saw Italy.

1:26:13

You know what? Sorry, go back to sleep.

1:26:16

Oh, God damn it. All right. Now,

1:26:18

I'm going to be... I'm just flouting

1:26:20

around here. I'm going with Romania. Yes,

1:26:22

Romania. Oh, Adam, that's good. Half

1:26:25

way through. Okay,

1:26:28

Yugoslavia. No.

1:26:31

Are you serious? No. I

1:26:33

go to Yugoslavia. You go to Yugoslavia. I

1:26:38

don't think Yugoslavia is a country

1:26:40

anymore. No. So, yeah. A little

1:26:42

awkward. I

1:26:47

wonder if why Adam didn't guess it. Because I

1:26:49

thought it was really right. Do

1:26:51

I get another guess? No. Later,

1:26:53

I do. I'm fine with that. No, no,

1:26:55

no. I'm fine with that. That's fair. Is

1:26:58

it my turn? It is your turn.

1:27:00

All right. Wait. Bosnia-Herzegovina.

1:27:05

Wait. No. How could that

1:27:12

be? You know what happened? All

1:27:14

right. You know, because when

1:27:16

I was there, it did. I went past

1:27:19

Bosnia-Herzegovina. But what's

1:27:21

happened is they

1:27:23

moved it. That's exactly what's happened is

1:27:25

they moved it. They used, you

1:27:27

know, they put in dirt and stuff

1:27:29

and they made a bend in

1:27:32

another direction. So that's... That's probably... Yeah,

1:27:34

they dammed it up. Yeah, exactly. I'm

1:27:36

thinking the old map. I'm

1:27:38

thinking... You know, I'm a little older than you

1:27:40

guys. You're old school. You're old school.

1:27:42

Yeah, exactly. All right. So, Tony, how

1:27:45

about Slovenia?

1:27:47

No. That country?

1:27:51

Yes. Yeah, I don't know. No.

1:27:53

No, Slovenia. Okay, how about... We

1:27:56

sold five left. Okay. I Got this. Oh,

1:27:59

wow. Go ahead, Bunny. And. Norway.

1:28:02

Know. Wow,

1:28:06

that sounds as though. I

1:28:09

suddenly like my chances a larger. Army

1:28:12

Army About Armenia. Know.

1:28:15

How. I was going to say that I'm

1:28:17

glad to see the used to sit well with.

1:28:19

The. Use this will which we have we did our

1:28:21

we did Ukraine's army to go at. Fell.

1:28:23

On. The

1:28:27

you know what? He's bell rung. Up

1:28:30

online. Years

1:28:32

were not say except we're in those

1:28:34

words and know how he got to

1:28:36

go down or and I got up

1:28:38

some unknown calibrating region. As you see,

1:28:41

I'm an accent three. More

1:28:44

why I will count at some my

1:28:46

turn. yeah I got one. Knows.

1:28:48

It isn't slabs your turn for well. As

1:28:52

a sub case, amsterdam.

1:28:55

That's not a classroom and it's been

1:28:57

guess we. It's that. It's

1:29:00

progress in the Netherlands is in line with.

1:29:03

All right, Okay, provide.

1:29:06

A good analogy of really good about my sense is

1:29:08

that I can see third set against the wall. Okay,

1:29:10

using. Some of Bonnie's

1:29:12

ah Technique or you say

1:29:14

Baton Rouge. That

1:29:21

is. Hop whether blows

1:29:24

me away disease used as yeah,

1:29:26

it's a gallbladder as if you've

1:29:28

ever been. Ah no. Cyrus parents

1:29:30

in the Caribbean do it now

1:29:32

goes raped by them right by

1:29:35

their I'm I'm just going to

1:29:37

head south and go move with

1:29:39

this method Only are known as

1:29:41

the. Macedonian.

1:29:45

Is that an island? Absolutely. No

1:29:47

to note is this deal it's were harvard

1:29:50

but an emergency are. Now

1:29:52

at your body as I

1:29:55

am one enough to bring.

1:29:57

I'm naming every western countries.

1:30:00

Why don't? I am shocked. None of you.

1:30:02

Have. Gag I got I got i got a

1:30:04

sad when the bits okay power go had

1:30:06

no you don't know if we're turn on

1:30:08

in. The Game

1:30:10

Master He algo yes. Let's.

1:30:13

See with their with no. One.

1:30:17

Else who those century swears.

1:30:20

Six years. see both sides Receipts

1:30:22

you did. Or. Every

1:30:24

will have my associates, your mean every

1:30:27

country, how can you find a country

1:30:29

the didn't persecute Jewish people come out?

1:30:31

Now. Paul a list of

1:30:34

through this Rasmus live in Rome as know

1:30:36

I got Wow I got this. Greece.

1:30:39

Well. That's what have a good

1:30:41

idea. I was wrong. I'll

1:30:45

kosovo know it by

1:30:47

I don't know where

1:30:49

the dad you is.

1:30:52

This is a deer noom you

1:30:54

armadillo. Now. Paula

1:30:58

paw give you a clue where

1:31:00

his momma be? Death come. From

1:31:02

oh. What's. The

1:31:04

face moved last. Mother

1:31:07

Ah. My life that

1:31:09

I do because boy did I

1:31:11

Uranus. Yeah, you get that one

1:31:14

arm. I don't I'm I'm running

1:31:16

out of countries hear what is

1:31:18

what is possibly in that region.

1:31:20

There's like once with Moldova, but.

1:31:22

We. Said pulls ernie. Ah yes Sir

1:31:25

Blair me as had right to

1:31:27

think of that for the. Longest

1:31:29

time and are I. Couldn't I

1:31:31

couldn't do it. Couldn't think of it.

1:31:33

Three more funny. What's

1:31:35

the one with the guys? Ran

1:31:38

for president? Who insists. No,

1:31:40

no, never mind. I'm I have another one

1:31:43

I. Have seized from one of these

1:31:45

countries my mother's. Holdover.

1:31:48

Yes, Praxis up. A

1:31:50

like that we were running. Oh no. I

1:31:54

said I said holdover but it's

1:31:56

I have ever told the all

1:31:58

that no no. That. Ah,

1:32:01

we're going to do that. Episode: where did

1:32:03

you Do. Your whole genealogy forfeits. Oh

1:32:05

my God. I would be happy to.

1:32:07

I was to. Assess

1:32:10

as loud. As my

1:32:13

family trait fact, probably hundreds

1:32:15

and hundreds of Blue Danube.

1:32:17

Oh. Vienna. Oh

1:32:19

no, that's as soon. As.

1:32:26

I say that I say Spain already.

1:32:30

Know. But it's also not

1:32:32

correct. Answer Bernheim say it

1:32:34

already is One kind of

1:32:36

of marginalia would say that

1:32:38

humiliating. Whereas. Moldova. I

1:32:40

knew that rid of this on my

1:32:43

own are because I just did Serbia.

1:32:45

I'm going to go at Croatia. guess.

1:32:47

Have. Yeah, my family so is. Hop

1:32:50

that was raised in Africa. Tony.

1:32:53

Is. Practically. Translucent So

1:32:55

the idea as as Croatia

1:32:57

would be an African country

1:32:59

is is all I know

1:33:01

about him and was in

1:33:03

their of the help of

1:33:05

plutonium. Whole

1:33:16

and. Others

1:33:20

three same way as he answered

1:33:22

some. There it goes right through

1:33:24

all the countries. Okay,

1:33:28

And you want to glue? Yeah, Oh

1:33:31

my gosh, what a lethal so windy.

1:33:34

And in that the other one begins with

1:33:36

an ass. As that in we save our

1:33:38

roots. Or there's another

1:33:40

one. Oh, assists. For

1:33:44

policy Bosnia So we're done. Some.

1:33:47

I am. pleasures

1:33:50

her body as to

1:33:52

why does anybody could

1:33:54

sniff says however since

1:33:56

i joined says assesses

1:33:58

season so Is

1:34:02

that your final guess? Booby

1:34:04

face? Baby? You

1:34:06

went with booby face? Baby! Baby!

1:34:09

Oh. Not booby baby! What?

1:34:12

Okay, fine. Neither

1:34:14

one is a good guess, Tony. I don't

1:34:17

know. I should be. I don't know. I

1:34:19

said mine. I know it's both. Oh,

1:34:21

with baby face. Yeah, I'm trying to

1:34:23

think of a booby face. Oh, I know. I

1:34:27

know. Spritzful. It's a good guess, but

1:34:29

not. Did it go in a spritzful? It's got

1:34:31

to be spritzful. Yeah. Is that a clunky? Oh, isn't

1:34:33

it? I think spritzful's it, right? I

1:34:36

just sent a

1:34:38

sweatshirt, nobody

1:34:42

listens to Paula

1:34:46

Ponzaro's own

1:34:48

sweatshirt to an address in

1:34:58

spritzle, and

1:35:01

on the address I wrote right beside the

1:35:03

Danube. So

1:35:06

Danube. It's certain to

1:35:08

get there. I hope so. I

1:35:11

don't think I know these countries. You

1:35:13

will once you hear them. Like the back of

1:35:15

your hand, you know them. Wow.

1:35:19

Let's see. Well, we've

1:35:21

had Belarus and Bosnia both guest, so

1:35:23

in Belgium. We've named a lot of

1:35:25

European B countries here. But

1:35:28

there's one remaining, and it's... A

1:35:31

bonny land. Bondovia.

1:35:35

Bondovia. Wow. Clavaclava.

1:35:38

I think we should just have Tony tell us before

1:35:40

our listeners shoot that song. Oh, you do not know.

1:35:44

The B country? No, I don't. I'm blanking on

1:35:46

it. Bulgaria. Bulgaria. Oh

1:35:48

my God. Oh

1:35:50

my God. And the final guess

1:35:52

is on the S country that's left. Yes.

1:35:56

Well, we said Slovenia. Did we say

1:35:58

Slovakia? It's Slovakia. It's Slovakia. Yeah. Oh!

1:36:01

Wow. Wow. I didn't

1:36:03

know there was this little box of tweed in

1:36:05

it. So, Tony, what's the final score of this

1:36:07

round of Land Ho with Tony Needle Hole? I

1:36:10

believe Adam got the most. Tony, that

1:36:12

was a great game. Thank you for running

1:36:14

it. This has been Land Ho with Land

1:36:16

Ho! Land Ho! Land

1:36:20

Ho! With Tony

1:36:22

Needle Hole. All

1:36:25

right, everybody. Remember to follow this podcast

1:36:27

on Apple, wherever you get it. If

1:36:29

there's a subject topic you want to

1:36:31

know more about, we're obviously

1:36:34

here to provide information. That's nobodylistens to

1:36:36

Paula Pounce down to gmail.com. Nobody

1:36:39

listens to Paula Pounce and is hosted

1:36:41

by Paula Pounce down, and yours truly,

1:36:43

Adam the Felber. Special thanks to our

1:36:45

house band, Raymond, Three Continents Horton. Oh,

1:36:49

my gosh. Raymond. Our show

1:36:51

is produced by Paula Pounce-Stone, Adam

1:36:53

Felber, Bonnie Burns, Kent Le Zemnick,

1:36:56

and Julie Berkobian. Yay!

1:36:59

Marketing and publicity by Tony Needle Hole.

1:37:04

And we are edited by Vic Lowry.

1:37:07

That's our show for tonight. Won't

1:37:09

somebody please listen to me? Hey,

1:37:21

Paula. Yeah,

1:37:26

Adam. I know this is

1:37:28

a special section of the show for just me

1:37:31

and you, and of course, Tony and Bonnie are

1:37:33

never here. No, it's just you and me. It's

1:37:35

good to debrief a little bit. I

1:37:38

feel that was never a part

1:37:41

of this show. You know how you'll go

1:37:43

like, oh, that went off the rails, or, oh,

1:37:45

let's try. There

1:37:49

was no structure, I

1:37:51

think. I

1:37:54

think this show never went off the rails at

1:37:57

all because it never had them. It was never

1:37:59

on the rails. any. Yeah, it was

1:38:01

like pouring. You have to be on rails

1:38:03

to go off them. Yeah, it was like pouring

1:38:05

mercury on a table. Yeah, it just

1:38:08

like a class of kindergartners. It

1:38:10

was it was like a snowman in March. You look at

1:38:12

it and just think like, well, it might have been something

1:38:14

at some point. Yeah. No,

1:38:17

it had rails. It's not

1:38:19

your turn. You're not here.

1:38:22

Those were some of the rails right there. Is

1:38:24

this just because you're just

1:38:26

vaulted over it. Yeah. Yeah.

1:38:29

Yeah. Oh, let's look at Tony

1:38:31

making weird noises. No, I know.

1:38:33

You're not here. Yeah, you're not

1:38:36

here. The last thing we should

1:38:38

hear is the clearing of Toni's

1:38:40

throat. And

1:38:43

yet there was. And yet in this show,

1:38:45

that might have been a highlight. You

1:38:54

know, you know what I didn't mention back when we were

1:38:57

talking about Valley adults, because there was plenty to talk about

1:38:59

is that I really got into what a doll is. I

1:39:01

mean, it's an amphetamine of

1:39:03

some kind, right? But they never got

1:39:05

into details. I'd like that. You're

1:39:08

not here. You're not here. Yeah.

1:39:12

Yeah, no, they didn't. By the way, for those

1:39:14

listeners at home, Bonnie Burns, fan of amphetamines. Wait,

1:39:18

so was happy for the heck.

1:39:20

No, you're not your time. It's

1:39:22

not body time. Yes. No,

1:39:24

it sounds like it just we know

1:39:26

not funny. So, you know, still not

1:39:29

okay. No, but it wasn't. No, not

1:39:31

Bonnie. That would be in one of the remakes. May

1:39:33

I say something? No. Yeah.

1:39:36

Given you're not here, I don't see how you

1:39:39

could. How could you possibly logically

1:39:41

impossible? Yeah, the thing

1:39:43

about the dials were it was

1:39:46

sort of a nondescript word, because what

1:39:48

she described was that she would take

1:39:52

something to make her up. And

1:39:54

then she would take something to put her

1:39:56

to sleep. And it appeared to be, you know,

1:39:59

two different things. It did seem to be

1:40:01

that dolls would do both of those things. So maybe dolls

1:40:03

was just to catch off for pills? Dals. The

1:40:06

only time you saw the pills, they were these, well,

1:40:08

except for in the opening credits where there

1:40:10

were these three different colors, these distinctly different

1:40:12

colors. But for the entire movie, it was

1:40:15

just red. Just red, exactly.

1:40:18

Dals. That's because they

1:40:20

hadn't yet gone to their dolls trading

1:40:22

party where they traded. Oh,

1:40:25

probably found the people with the yellows and

1:40:27

the blues show up. Different colors. Yeah. I

1:40:30

was like, okay, I couldn't believe in

1:40:32

your summary you didn't even mention the

1:40:34

Helen Lawson song with the mobile going

1:40:36

around. It literally was sort of bumper

1:40:38

in the head. It

1:40:40

was just so great. It was made of

1:40:42

this cheap plastic stuff that I guess, again,

1:40:44

might have looked good on a movie screen

1:40:47

back before movie screens were really good.

1:40:50

Yeah. Well, also just when mobiles

1:40:53

were a whole category of

1:40:55

art. When mobiles were

1:40:58

something other than infants. Yeah. When

1:41:01

mobiles ruled the land, land of

1:41:03

the mobiles. Yeah. Oh,

1:41:06

gosh. You know, now I'm going to,

1:41:08

that's what I'm going to do tonight probably is

1:41:10

watch Valley of the Dolls again. I

1:41:13

can blame you. Yeah.

1:41:16

Watch Valley of the Dolls. What

1:41:18

Tony won to say. You're not here. Paula,

1:41:22

just so you can stay up for another viewing of Valley

1:41:24

of the Dolls, take a few of these. Oh,

1:41:26

thanks Adam. Yeah. I'll

1:41:29

help you out. Let me swallow him with some alcohol. It

1:41:31

makes him go faster. You know,

1:41:33

it's bad to take liquor with those pills. Playworks.

1:41:40

Mailbag. Doll edition. Doll

1:41:44

edition. They all love to, they all love

1:41:47

me. Where do they go? Where Do they

1:41:49

go??