1:25

She's back. If you did

1:27

not know, Missy Lynch she was

1:29

part of our 12 days of giving. So

1:32

go back and watch that podcast. But today's

1:34

all about her. Her business

1:36

and what we were just talking about off camera is

1:38

a really cool subject that I think will

1:40

cause a little riffing to go on. So without

1:43

further ado, Missy, why don't you tell us about yourself

1:46

more now, more about your business

1:48

and why you do what you do.

1:50

Sure. Thank you so much for having me back on.

1:53

It's been it was a fun experience doing

1:55

the 12 days with you. And I'm Misty Lynch.

1:57

I am in Walpole, Massachusetts. I'm

1:59

the owner of Soundview Financial Advisors,

2:02

which is a fee only firm that

2:04

has been in existence since 2010.

2:07

I actually acquired it from a woman

2:09

who started it on her own and decided

2:11

to retire. In 2022. It's

2:14

been great kind of working in the community

2:16

that I live in and, keeping a business

2:18

going that, that has been around.

2:21

And it's been a really great opportunity

2:23

to work with some retirees and also my clients,

2:25

which tend to be people who are mid

2:27

career and have some self employment

2:29

income in their family with also, maybe

2:31

some traditional income nine to five, trying to figure

2:34

out how to combine the two and make

2:36

them work the best. That's that's a little bit about

2:38

me and my firm. I I got two kids,

2:40

husband, I coach basketball and field hockey

2:42

when I'm not working and they're nine

2:45

and 11. So just busy time,

2:47

but I can feel what a lot of my clients are going

2:49

through with a lot of competing goals and,

2:52

certain financial, big decisions that need to be

2:54

made just about every day.

2:55

You mean like sports, like nine to

2:57

seven, it feels like in your schedule. It's

2:59

crazy. Yeah. Yes. I understand that. Yeah.

3:02

You brought up a very interesting point that

3:05

we've get, I get asked it every now and again.

3:07

But I don't think is, has

3:09

been as prevalent as it should be.

3:12

Especially with this wealth wave,

3:14

whatever you want to call it, that is going to happen.

3:16

And I'm specifically talking about you

3:19

bought your firm from someone

3:21

who wanted to retire. Talk

3:24

us through one, how that occurred,

3:26

what that process looks like. And then ultimately.

3:29

How did, and what did it feel like for

3:31

the clients in terms of them?

3:34

Because that's what matters, right? Like that transition

3:36

is more important to them than it is really to you.

3:38

So

3:39

definitely. Yeah. So I was

3:41

I was in corporate I was working in a compliance

3:44

department for about 12

3:46

years. I had a CFP since 2011,

3:48

and I had been thinking about leaving,

3:50

prior to when I did in 2020 for a very long

3:53

time. And so I was following

3:55

all these other advisors. I was listening. I was looking

3:57

around at what businesses existed in the town,

4:00

and so I'd come across Soundview financial advisors

4:02

and the owner, Susan Brown was very active

4:04

in NAPFA and other financial planning

4:06

organizations. And I liked, I just

4:09

liked her period. And so

4:11

when I was looking at going out on my own, I looked

4:13

at. Office space, and

4:15

there was a space available in the building

4:18

where sound view is and

4:20

I was, I became friendly with her, and we

4:22

were chatting and she was talking about wanting

4:24

to retire for a long time and I was

4:26

talking about wanting to go out on my own and start

4:28

a firm and then months went by,

4:31

I didn't leave, she didn't retire. And I

4:33

ended up running into her at the grocery store

4:35

and it was masks on everything,

4:37

like middle COVID and

4:40

she looked like she was just she, you could tell

4:42

when she was talking to me that she was done. Like it's,

4:44

it was just time. She was caring for her mother.

4:47

Her husband was retired. She really just

4:49

wanted to be done.

4:51

And we said hello. And then the next day

4:53

she called me and asked if I wanted to talk.

4:55

And so we, it was very

4:58

I walked over here from my house since

5:00

it's that close. And we were just talking about

5:02

the business. She had never been familiar with doing

5:04

an acquisition or selling a business. This was basically

5:06

her business that she built from

5:09

the ground up and really hadn't figured

5:11

it would just like end with her, but that's

5:13

not what she wanted. It's not what she wanted for her clients

5:15

either. But they were starting to ask her questions

5:18

like, when are you going to retire? You've helped me

5:20

with all of this, but Your husband's

5:22

like, when is it going to happen for you? And so

5:24

I think that for the

5:26

first six months, I decided to come on board with

5:28

her. I didn't take over right away.

5:31

We did have a clear plan that it was going

5:33

to be a six month transition and

5:35

I wanted to be fully owner and she wanted to be fully

5:37

out. So I joined

5:39

the firm, not a lot of, not a giant

5:42

firm, A reasonable number of households, about

5:44

25, that we were working with. And

5:47

I went with her to meet all of them and

5:51

she talked to them about me and,

5:53

why she wanted, she liked working

5:55

with me. And I respected her and

5:58

the financial decisions, the portfolios that had been

6:00

built, the plans that were in place. And

6:02

really just we just wanted to make the comfort

6:04

the clients feel like you have all the choices.

6:06

You always have. But

6:09

this was Susan's decision to like pass the baton

6:11

to me. And this was our plans staying

6:13

in the same location, keeping the same phone number,

6:15

keeping the same account number, like nothing, like trying

6:17

to make it as little impact

6:19

as possible. Aside from the

6:21

fact that I would be the new advisor that they would work

6:24

with. And Susan would be hopefully

6:26

reading a book or on a beach somewhere. And

6:28

that kind of helped the clients understand

6:31

what was happening. I think. I've

6:34

built a good relationship with all of the clients.

6:36

All but one stayed one who was in a different state

6:39

that we really weren't able to meet, it was a wrong

6:41

fit anyway stayed and been

6:43

able to continue the relationship. They like

6:45

the fact that I'm not retiring anytime

6:48

soon and they're in retirement. And so when they have questions,

6:50

they feel like they have someone to go to still. But

6:53

And it's allowed me to also build the business,

6:55

bring on more clients and not have to go through the

6:57

whole registration process and going dark and

6:59

all these things that would have had to happen. So I

7:02

have to say it was one of the smoothest transitions.

7:05

We did have help figuring out how

7:07

to. Structure it because

7:09

neither one of us really knew. One of my friends

7:11

from when I was in corporate had worked at a firm.

7:14

It was called like sell my financial practice. And

7:17

so I called him and said what do we do? What do

7:19

we do? And she didn't want to make a fortune.

7:21

And I obviously needed to have it work

7:23

out in a way that I could afford it, bringing the

7:25

business on. And so we just came to

7:27

an agreement and brought in an attorney to help

7:29

us and then. Just figured

7:31

it out as we went. So

7:34

it was it was a little unique compared to some people

7:36

I hear that do, FP transitions and they're

7:38

bidding on a practice and everyone's going for it and

7:40

it's competitive and it's different. This was a lot

7:42

more organic, but she didn't have a successor

7:45

and she found one and brought me in. That's

7:47

amazing. That might be the most seamless,

7:49

like transition. I think I've ever heard

7:51

of in our industry. Really? That's not

7:53

in house and already built in. I

7:56

what's amazing about it is both

7:58

of you care more about like the

8:00

client, like it was the relationship stuff.

8:03

Usually you don't hear that the advisor goes

8:05

and meets with the transition person ever,

8:07

with all the clients. And we

8:10

hear about the bidding wars and all that stuff. And

8:12

to me, what that screams is. The

8:14

people are don't matter. It's the assets

8:17

that they're going after. And

8:19

yeah, that's not cool. Like that ultimately

8:21

that's not cool. It's that point where you just

8:23

said they're in retirement and they want someone

8:25

there they can trust and ask questions too. Yeah.

8:28

That's

8:28

not, it was never, Yeah, no,

8:31

it was certainly not okay, let's look at this

8:33

book of physically, I don't even think we use that term

8:35

once to be like, it was basically like, okay,

8:37

this person, this is what's going on with that. I

8:40

knew I felt like I had the opportunity

8:42

to get up to speed on these people

8:45

by working with her and meeting with them, looking

8:47

at the contact, looking at everything, looking

8:49

at, getting to know them. And

8:52

really that was. In

8:54

her, that was all she cared about was

8:56

really that they would end up being okay. Financially,

8:59

she was fine. She'd make some good investments.

9:01

She was very good with her finances personally.

9:03

And so she just didn't want to see it

9:05

because some people were offering to take the biggest

9:08

clients, get it chopped up and

9:10

she didn't want it. She wanted somebody who wanted everything.

9:12

And and for me, I was at the point where I could

9:14

take it on.

9:15

And I hope we see more of those. I really do.

9:17

As these older

9:19

FPs, this, actually should retire, right? You

9:22

shouldn't be doing this forever. We're professionals. Like

9:24

we also have lives. I really hope we

9:26

see more of that and not just

9:28

asset grabs and chunking them because.

9:31

It's going to hurt a lot of people and I

9:33

don't have data or facts about this, but I do

9:36

know that the M and a's that do happen

9:38

and they just chunk people off and they are just assets.

9:41

I'm going to assume puts a bad taste in

9:43

their mouth about our industry. And

9:46

then it makes it harder for the rest of us to

9:48

do our job and to help market. So I

9:50

really hope that your story and more of

9:52

those can happen. And here in a decade,

9:54

we can talk about it and be like, look

9:56

at all this awesomeness going on.

9:57

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it starts with

9:59

building a network. Like actually,

10:02

she was engaged with now, but I've, I

10:04

am a member as well, but even

10:06

like some of we just knew that we. Got along.

10:08

And I think that's one of the things that if you don't

10:10

necessarily have a huge team where, you know,

10:13

who would take over if something happened to you, even

10:15

just knowing more people that do this, and even

10:17

if it's just having some sort of idea,

10:20

because things do happen, what if something

10:22

happened to me tomorrow? And so I feel like

10:25

really, instead of looking at all the other advisors

10:27

as a competition, as A potential

10:29

like bigger network or

10:32

maybe partners or maybe something someday

10:35

to really keep the clients, best interests

10:37

at heart. Yeah. Let's be

10:39

real. We. What us specifically,

10:41

you said you had, they had 25 households. We

10:43

can't work with a thousand households. I don't

10:45

know your number and I'll ask you now, but like

10:47

mine is 46 without hiring more staff

10:50

and more advisors, et cetera, of course, like

10:52

46 households is like X

10:55

and that would be like stretching.

10:57

What about you? What do you know? What do you think your household

11:00

limit?

11:00

Yeah. So I have, now.

11:03

I do a lot of financial planning where

11:06

there is no assets. So it's just the flat piece.

11:08

So I've been able to do more of those, like more volume

11:10

of those because sometimes they don't come back or they

11:12

come back. And it's easy to hop right back in

11:14

and talk for a few hours. But yeah,

11:16

I think once you get around like 50

11:18

or 60, it is It is a lot of work to

11:21

make sure that everybody's getting, the

11:23

right amount of attention and time

11:25

and service before you might need to add

11:27

on additional resources. I think

11:29

100 would be probably the maximum

11:31

that I could imagine trying

11:34

even attempting. And at that point, I think

11:36

even, Even now I look at

11:38

am I the right person? Am I the right fit for some of these

11:40

clients or some of these people that I've worked with? Might

11:42

they be better suited in a different relationship?

11:45

Because yeah, it is important to look at

11:47

the amount of time and resources that we have.

11:50

So 40 to 50

11:52

to 60, maybe a hundred max. There's

11:55

how many millions of people in just the United

11:57

States alone. This is why we don't have competition.

12:00

This is why we never think about each other as competition,

12:03

because we all have our different niches, our own

12:05

people that we want to work with and we ultimately

12:07

can't service correctly

12:11

past a hundred actually makes me

12:13

very nauseous. I don't know how that would, you

12:15

would have to be Like one off, create a plan.

12:17

They come every two years or something like that.

12:19

That'd be the only way I could think that would work, but yeah.

12:21

And I've started with our industry fails

12:24

at, I believe.

12:25

Yeah. I've started to meet with some financial coaches.

12:27

I've started to meet with bookkeeper. I've started to meet with other

12:29

people because I feel like I'll have these discovery

12:32

calls or these phone calls. Initial calls with people and

12:34

I even feel better being like, I, you

12:37

don't, I think you might want to have a call with

12:39

this person. You might not need me right now. Because

12:41

for a long time, I wanted to just say yes to everybody and

12:43

anyone they wanted to work with me. I was like

12:45

very excited. But even getting to know some of

12:47

the people that do adjacent work. To

12:50

us and building those, connections has

12:52

been really helpful. Some people need a bookkeeper

12:54

and accountant right now, and

12:56

the planner to come or investment advice

12:59

leader. And then I've seen some coaches who are really good

13:01

with the budgeting side, or just focusing

13:03

on a few things in more of a group setting for

13:05

people who maybe are looking for a different price point.

13:07

So I love getting to know more about

13:09

what people in my area do, helping

13:11

them grow their business. And eventually they run

13:13

across people that they can't serve. And

13:15

so it's helped out in that way a lot.

13:18

So you teed it up for me and

13:20

I'm glad you did. I don't know if you did it on purpose, but

13:22

you did, this is our transition into the big topic.

13:25

So on your podcast, we had

13:27

talked about modern family office and

13:29

the concepts that black mammoth does. What

13:31

you just defined there to me really is a modern

13:33

family office, right? You're acting as they're

13:36

like life coach, if you will in

13:38

order to find the parts that need to be filled now.

13:40

And ultimately people want that

13:42

part. They need that person. We all want a person

13:44

that we could go to and be like. Hey, I don't,

13:46

I need, I don't know what I need. I need this.

13:49

I need that. I don't know where to go. That's

13:51

our role, right? You can point them as long as

13:53

you have the right network. And so

13:55

the bigger topic. That is, hot

13:57

in our industry right now, by that means

14:00

clients, if you're listening, prospective clients, our

14:03

industry loves to fight with each other

14:05

about certain topics, one

14:07

being fees, the other being

14:09

this new concept, new, right?

14:12

Quotes, a new concept of

14:15

being a life coach or our financial

14:17

planning, being there above

14:20

their, for their mental health and their emotions

14:22

and more of that actual life coach role.

14:25

And it just wrote an

14:27

article about this, right?

14:30

And our industry took a couple of different

14:32

routes on that. And so I want

14:34

to ask you this question, knowing

14:36

your background. Is

14:39

the financial planning industry one moving

14:41

towards this more life coach

14:43

consultant role? And

14:45

two, why

14:48

are a lot of our industry afraid

14:50

of said move? Yeah.

14:54

So I I do think so.

14:56

I think that we are headed towards the, having

14:58

clients who want to actually talk to their advisor,

15:00

not just about Performance and

15:02

numbers, but really they're coming to us

15:05

because they want change or they're looking

15:07

to do something. They want to feel different. They want

15:09

something to change in their lives. And

15:11

so I when I was in a

15:14

corporate environment, I wanted so much

15:16

to go be an advisor and

15:18

a planner. And so many times

15:20

that I was about to thinking about

15:23

leaving a nice, comfortable job. I

15:25

thought about what if this means that I'll be

15:28

poor again? What will this do to my family?

15:30

This is definitely a bad idea because we don't,

15:33

our brains don't necessarily like change. We

15:35

like, even if we're not happy, we like our lives

15:37

to stay on the same, I was getting a paycheck.

15:40

Things were not bad, but I knew something

15:42

was missing. I was not doing what I was, I

15:44

felt like I should be doing with my

15:47

life. And I actually did

15:49

have a life coach. I did go

15:51

into a coaching program where I

15:53

was able to have somebody. Really

15:56

hold space for me, ask questions

15:59

that I was not asking myself. I was

16:01

asking myself, what could go wrong? What could

16:03

this do to my children? What could this do to my marriage? All of these

16:05

things and thinking of the worst case scenario.

16:08

And so just being in an environment where I was

16:10

able to even just think

16:13

differently or question all

16:15

of these beliefs I had that, it would go wrong,

16:18

like even contemplating what could go right.

16:20

And having somebody who didn't just buy into

16:22

my story. That well, I'll be poor

16:24

again, without any real backup.

16:27

So I've used, since it helped

16:29

me so much manage my mind

16:32

and be able to make a big change

16:34

in my life, start a business believe

16:36

that success was possible, talk to

16:38

clients and get past that

16:41

how am I going to find clients who's going to want to work with me?

16:43

I'm female. I haven't. I

16:45

don't have all these assets under management

16:47

that other advisors have. I don't have the press.

16:49

I don't have all these things. It really let

16:51

me just get curious about how all these advisors

16:54

that are where I'd like to be, how they got there.

16:56

What did they do? It just completely changed

16:59

the way I thought. And I use

17:01

coaching techniques on myself every

17:04

day because I still have a human brain.

17:06

So if a client sends me an email that just says we

17:08

need to talk immediately,

17:11

What does your brain do? Oh my gosh,

17:13

they're going to fire me. They're not going to something

17:15

was terrible. I did something terrible and they're going to be,

17:17

they're angry. Or I didn't invest in something

17:20

that like, and it might just be,

17:22

Oh, I need this, or I got

17:24

a raise or this happened.

17:27

So really trying to figure out how

17:29

to like, stop those negative

17:32

thoughts that we have immediately. And

17:34

not go straight into fight or flight. So I can actually,

17:36

Be a better listener, ask better questions

17:39

not just be like you need to do X, Y, and Z,

17:41

or you're going to run out of money. So do what I say. Knowing

17:44

that people know what they should be doing, but

17:46

it might take a little bit of getting to the root

17:48

of the problem as to why they're overspending

17:51

or why they're afraid to spend money. And

17:54

that comes from asking better questions.

17:56

And that's where I think the coaching piece can really help

17:59

any advisor and client.

18:01

I really do too. And I believe nowadays

18:04

it's part of our duty to do and I know I had talked

18:06

a little bit on your podcast about

18:08

this as well, but That is our

18:10

duty now. And it always has

18:13

been really, we just focused

18:15

on the assets. Yeah, we are

18:17

in tuned with every aspect of almost

18:20

every aspect of their life. If

18:22

we're doing it correctly, we have to be, we

18:24

have to know what's going on with their family. We have to

18:26

know what's going on at work. We have to be able to see.

18:29

Somewhat in the future, right?

18:32

Then we have to go to the complexities

18:34

of life events that happen,

18:36

deaths, marriages, weddings, all those

18:38

things. How is it

18:40

not on us to help

18:43

coach them in life, right? Like

18:45

we have all the knowledge we've literally

18:48

listening to them more than probably

18:50

anyone else in their lives. Almost. To

18:53

a degree and probably even more.

18:55

Because like our friends and

18:57

families and stuff won't go we all know

18:59

this, we all get up to the money issue and then we stopped

19:01

talking, right? And that is our predominant

19:03

issue. And so if they're opening everything

19:05

up to us, Isn't it our duty

19:08

to be able to help and listen?

19:10

And.

19:11

Yeah, I think that, and I think that might be

19:13

where some of that that anxiety

19:16

comes in when people are like, we're not like, because it's

19:18

just we're math people. We look at the numbers,

19:20

we look at this and we're not, talking about

19:22

feelings and behavior and thoughts.

19:25

It's not what we were trained to do

19:28

as advisors, but I do

19:30

think that's why I felt, All of my

19:32

clients, if they said I hate my boss. And if they

19:34

just realized how wonderful I was, then this

19:36

would be so much better. And like their friends

19:38

might be like, yeah, you're right. What

19:40

a jerk. Where I felt like as somebody

19:42

who's outside of that in a different role,

19:45

I can't buy into their story. I

19:47

can't necessarily just be their best friend and be like, Oh yeah,

19:49

you're right. He's probably terrible. It's actually

19:51

okay, what are you in control of right now?

19:53

Like what? Because a

19:56

lot of times I'll see clients and they'll just start

19:58

talking and they're putting all

20:00

their power into someone else's hands. The

20:02

ex husband who's ruining their life, something like that.

20:04

And trying to help them even get some of that

20:06

power back will eventually lead to

20:09

different behavior, maybe different thoughts,

20:11

maybe different financial behavior at some point,

20:13

because then they realize that it actually Is

20:15

in their control, what they can do. And

20:18

so if you just avoid that,

20:20

then your next review meeting, you're like, what happened?

20:22

You're still doing all of these things. You're

20:26

still in this job. You hate. Because

20:29

somebody else, something else, boundary

20:31

issues, all of those things that really

20:34

impacts your money really

20:37

does

20:38

our behavior in our mental health

20:40

and all of that. And money are intertwined. They

20:42

might not have been 50 years

20:44

ago when our industry really took off.

20:47

But they are now every bit of every

20:49

decision is money and emotionally

20:52

based. And so really

20:54

what we're doing now is coaching their behavior

20:56

to shape what they want their plan in life to look

20:58

like. Not just creating a plan

21:00

and saying, go ahead and do it.

21:01

Yeah. Because it's just not as certain as it was before,

21:04

that the money will be there, that the spending, my clients

21:06

are being influenced every day. They're

21:09

looking at, like this comparison,

21:11

these things that they feel like they should be doing. They're looking

21:13

at everybody else's highlight reel of their lives.

21:16

And they're thinking like, what am I doing wrong?

21:18

And immediately, those are all financial

21:20

decisions. Whether you're like, all right, I'm going to,

21:23

I'm going to upgrade this, or I need to start doing this,

21:25

or I'm going to spend, or everybody else is doing it. There's

21:27

never been so much competition

21:30

for our wallet and

21:32

our money nonstop,

21:35

all day long on our phones, on our watches

21:37

everywhere. And so if you don't

21:39

look at behavior, like we're

21:41

going to be manipulated. Spend

21:44

more than we want to, because seriously,

21:47

there's a lot of money and there's a lot of business in

21:50

getting our attention and getting our dollars.

21:52

So if you're not paying attention to

21:54

what you're thinking and feeling, you're,

21:56

you could financially be in a lot of trouble.

21:59

Absolutely. And it's designed that

22:01

way, right? It's designed to wear you down. That's

22:03

why there's so many ads. That's where all this is

22:05

there is to wear you down, put it

22:07

in front of you. So when you're ready. And

22:10

usually it's because it's beaten you down

22:12

and now you're awake to make that

22:14

decision, to buy this, to buy that, to

22:16

do that. And as simple as

22:18

life is becoming with, Amazon

22:20

delivering day of all of

22:22

these things that are happening, it's

22:24

just making it that much harder

22:27

to make the right behavior decision

22:29

if you aren't working on that. And that's

22:31

why I believe it is

22:33

our duty to help them in behavior. It is our duty

22:35

to learn more and either become

22:37

life coaches or Study

22:40

and get some type of education

22:42

behind it to

22:43

help. Yeah. And even if it's,

22:45

yeah, like I, I think that not

22:47

everyone needs to go get a certification and become

22:49

a coach. It is an interest. I do understand that

22:51

there is some negative connotations with the field because

22:54

it isn't even close to as highly regulated

22:56

as, you Financial services. And

22:59

so really anyone could say they're a coach and maybe

23:01

some of them are, taking people's money and not

23:03

helping, but I do think that the principles

23:05

behind it, because like

23:08

you said, with the same day, like all of

23:10

our spending behavior is usually

23:12

to, we think it's going to make us feel better

23:14

when we're thinking like I can't rent anymore.

23:16

I'm wasting money. I'm telling me, and I

23:19

feel bad about myself because I don't

23:21

own a home or all those things are thoughts.

23:24

They're not facts. They're

23:26

not true, but they sound true because

23:28

we hear them in our heads over and over again. And

23:30

then with the impulse spending, it's

23:32

if I get this, if I get this treat

23:35

or I do this, I'll feel better instantly

23:37

that instant gratification. And then long term, it's going to

23:39

hurt when you're in the credit card debt and things

23:41

like that, but we really just respond to right now.

23:44

So even learning how to help people put some

23:46

distance. In between

23:49

the thought and the action can

23:51

help them at least start to trust themselves

23:53

a little bit more. Instead

23:55

of being like, I'm just bad with money. It's just who I am.

23:59

And that's not true either. That's not true. But

24:02

so I'll go to the opposite side

24:04

of not the argument, but I'm

24:07

an advisor who doesn't want to learn all that

24:09

or doesn't feel comfortable doing it. And that's okay.

24:11

This is where we talked about. We're

24:13

not in competition with each other and

24:16

we can partner, we can help each other on

24:18

this. Or like you had talked about go.

24:21

In your network, find someone to help them

24:23

with this part of it and just

24:25

create a team around them that can help support

24:28

them as opposed to saying,

24:31

no, this is my job. I don't want them talking

24:33

to one else. But you're leaving this

24:35

huge issue on the table that

24:37

is going to drive every decision that they make.

24:39

If we're not addressing that either because

24:42

of our own. Abilities or someone

24:44

else's your job

24:46

is superficial. In my opinion, it's

24:49

just superficial. And

24:51

at some point they could fire

24:53

you any day because you're not doing anything

24:55

for them and managing money in

24:57

today's world is. It

24:59

is what it is. It's a commodity.

25:01

It's just not as exclusive as it was before,

25:04

where you needed to have a stock broker and you needed to, you

25:06

couldn't do it on your own. Like those days are

25:08

over. And even, asset

25:10

allocation and portfolio, like all of those things,

25:12

that's the part that the robots can do

25:14

and the computers can do. They

25:17

can't say, they're not

25:19

going to listen, at least not yet to

25:21

somebody who's, telling you everything about how they're thinking

25:23

and feeling and looking for some help.

25:26

And then, getting a blanks. It's that's the

25:28

part where I think we can add a tremendous amount of value

25:30

to people's lives. Even just being somebody who can

25:32

listen to them without judgment. A lot

25:35

of times I've had clients where

25:37

they've talked to me about things. And I've actually said,

25:39

I do think that maybe this is something that you should

25:41

talk to a therapist about when they go,

25:44

life coaching is future. looking, it

25:46

is not looking in the past. It's basically like

25:48

talking about setting goals and looking at what's

25:50

happening right now, your thoughts, your current thoughts.

25:52

Sometimes I've had people that are telling me about some very,

25:55

traumatic experiences that they've not

25:57

been able to process. And so I know that is

25:59

outside of my listening. Scope

26:01

what I can do, but I can

26:04

notice it and

26:06

maybe suggest moving some of the budget

26:08

around or looking at the benefits to see if we

26:10

can pick up maybe maybe some

26:12

work there to help the client feel

26:14

better, even if it means spending money or taking some

26:16

out of an account that I'm looking to see pile up. Because

26:19

there are some things that I feel, pretty

26:21

comfortable talking about. And then there's other things that I could

26:23

say, you know what, this is what, this is

26:25

what I think would be a really good use

26:27

of your Of

26:29

what we have here to work with and trying

26:31

to help them find, somebody to help them

26:33

out because it's the, that investment

26:36

is the one that people don't put a lot of money into

26:38

and that's now investing in themselves. They

26:41

really don't and clothes don't count. Let's

26:43

be right. It's a therapist. It's your physical

26:45

health. All of those things. That is the one

26:48

investment bucket. That people are weakest

26:50

in almost everybody. And

26:52

I want to say it's not exclusive,

26:54

but it is driven hard from our own industry.

26:57

We don't talk about it's not a bucket. We ever,

27:00

I remember being all the training and we're talking about mutual

27:02

funds and annuities and life insurance and all these

27:04

other buckets. We have not once

27:06

ever said that you need to invest back into yourself,

27:09

whether that's a therapist or your health or

27:11

whatever. Yeah.

27:13

So I've had clients

27:15

that have been like, should I spend a thousand dollars on this treadmill?

27:18

Mine is worn out and I'm like, Oh

27:20

yes. Like this is your health, your body.

27:22

But what we will see is people overspending on food

27:25

and stuff. And, I think

27:27

that a lot of that spending is because I had

27:29

a bad day. I want to go out to dinner four nights a week. And

27:31

it's just, it is. It

27:33

is caused by the thoughts that we have.

27:36

It's not, the bucket that

27:38

we said, okay, this is your, this is your spending that you

27:40

can do on meals. It's because they want to feel

27:42

different. And so getting behind

27:44

that okay, why is this happening? What's

27:46

going on? How are you feeling? And

27:48

some people are under a lot of stress or some people,

27:51

maybe they do need convenience and they shouldn't

27:53

kick themselves for it. But they are.

27:55

So I think that those, all of those things that we see,

27:58

like if somebody is looking to invest in their own health

28:01

or their own wellbeing or their mind, or

28:03

going to, even joining

28:06

a gym or doing all of those things, I think should

28:08

get a bigger piece of the budget because it tends

28:10

to pay off so

28:13

much more either down the road with

28:15

a better healthy lifestyle, or really

28:17

just them being able to, go

28:19

about their lives in a way that isn't just trying to numb

28:22

whatever's causing some pain right now.

28:25

So emotions, and our society

28:27

loves to see this. You're a woman

28:29

CFP, right? You own a business. Emotions

28:32

are a woman thing, right? That's just

28:35

a women thing. No one talks about emotions.

28:37

My side of the table, be a man, rub

28:40

some dirt on it, get out there. You're fine. Be a man.

28:42

And we hear those repeatedly and it still

28:44

runs really deep in our industry. Specifically,

28:47

just go to a conference. It's very prevalent

28:50

with that. How

28:53

important or how different is it

28:55

out there in actual

28:57

clientele land, right? Not in our

28:59

own heads that having

29:02

a female advisor, a black

29:04

male advisor, how important is

29:07

that, that we're not specifically

29:09

talking about money or specifically

29:11

talking about emotions? How important have you seen

29:14

that? Yeah,

29:15

I think that, I have, I have

29:17

a lot of, Clients, that men,

29:19

women families, different ages.

29:22

And I think one of the things that I've noticed

29:24

is a lot of times initially they'll, maybe

29:26

be ready for that sales

29:29

pitch or that conversation.

29:31

And they're like defensive or maybe here's

29:33

all my paperwork and this is what my last advisor

29:35

told me and I'm like. I

29:38

don't want to see this yet. I don't even care about this

29:40

yet. Like that, that

29:42

looking at what they own and everything, it

29:44

doesn't come first in our conversation.

29:47

I actually want to know if this is a person that I want

29:49

to work with, if this is someone I want

29:51

to invest my energy into building

29:54

a relationship hopefully for a long time with,

29:56

and so once that wall comes down,

29:59

that they're trying to, Once you get people

30:01

to start talking about themselves, some

30:04

of their goals, some of the craziest things that they've thought

30:06

of, what's the the best things they've done with their money,

30:08

what they'd love, instead of just being like, what

30:10

keeps you up at night? It's your biggest

30:12

fear. Let's have a big pile of money

30:14

and just hold it, let it sit

30:17

there. Like I, I feel like

30:19

people want someone to ask

30:22

being somebody to ask them how they're actually

30:24

doing. And a lot of times like men,

30:27

women, no different. They've

30:30

got a lot of feelings every

30:32

day and sometimes it's harder to name them.

30:34

And sometimes it's just, I

30:36

think that some of my clients

30:38

don't even notice that we're talking about it because it

30:40

feels like we're just having a conversation, I

30:43

want to really understand, how we can

30:45

use what they've built, to improve their life.

30:47

And have them, I don't necessarily,

30:51

I don't really get into those details, right

30:54

away, but I think that's how people, that's

30:56

what they expect from us, no, I don't put

30:58

like life coach right out there, but I do,

31:01

when I get to know people or when I initially

31:03

meet a client people have,

31:05

tended to just start to unload. And then

31:07

they're like, wow, that was a great conversation. I really like you. And they

31:09

know nothing about me yet, but they're like,

31:12

wow, I had a lot on my mind, cause they're not coming

31:14

to us because everything's great. They're coming

31:16

to us because something is on

31:18

their mind, whether they think they're going

31:20

to leave a job, whether they're getting divorced, they're buying

31:22

a, they're making these humongous decisions that

31:25

are, maybe brand new to them. And

31:27

they're looking for somebody to really

31:30

help them figure

31:33

all of this out. And I think knowing

31:35

that it's somebody that they can trust or that

31:37

they can you Could really be honest

31:39

with it goes so far,

31:43

a lot further than being like this is my price point.

31:45

This is what I can do to beat your advisor in this label.

31:47

And then they're just shopping for

31:49

a product. But I, yeah, I

31:51

I don't leave the feelings, but I definitely get there pretty quickly.

31:54

Because it's important. And if they're not

31:56

going to be honest or not going to talk about it, or they're looking

31:58

for one guy was like, you're not very slick.

32:01

And I said, you are absolutely right.

32:05

I will introduce you to slick. I'll head you over

32:07

to, back bay. We will find you slick.

32:09

And that's great that we

32:11

recognize it at least now before

32:14

later, because I want my clients

32:16

to feel comfortable and want to talk to me.

32:19

And not want I've talked to some people

32:21

that hate talking to their financial advisor. Like

32:25

it gives them anxiety, like

32:27

hard anxiety to talk to them. Like change,

32:30

like it shouldn't be that way.

32:32

You're paying them. Yeah. Like

32:34

why, and I hear that. I hear that more

32:37

than I ever thought possible. And

32:39

But I get it. They feel like they're going

32:41

to get yelled at because

32:44

they didn't change.

32:45

Our industry has done a lot to demean people

32:48

and make us on a pedestal. And

32:50

we're not we're normal people with them. I think

32:53

this adage or this analogy is used in our

32:55

industry, a lot of like, think of us as

32:57

an attorney or a doctor. Like I've been trained

32:59

to use those and to a degree,

33:01

yes, except for we

33:04

put doctors and attorneys and stuff like that

33:06

on a pedestal, like they're above us.

33:08

And that's what they're normal people too.

33:11

Yeah. They have personal financial problems,

33:13

almost greater than the normal person. They

33:16

just have an education on something that

33:18

they're passionate about and care about. It's

33:21

the same for us and it's the

33:23

same for you, client, whoever you

33:25

are, right? Like your passion about

33:27

what you're doing. If I came to

33:29

you, I'm going to put you on a pedestal

33:32

because I don't know anything about

33:34

X, Y, Z widget and you're there

33:36

for, and once you can break that barrier

33:38

of putting us up there and we're next to you

33:40

and we're in this thing together you literally

33:43

can see a change in people. And then at that

33:45

point, as the advisor I know, I

33:47

no longer feel like they're a client.

33:49

They're a family friend. Like we are, we're

33:52

in tuned and I don't worry

33:54

about money and fees and all of that. I'm just

33:56

going to do and treat them like

33:58

I would everyone else in my family and

34:00

try to just do my best. Ultimately.

34:03

And that's what people truly are interviewing

34:05

us for. Whether you think about it

34:07

or not, other advisors, like that's

34:09

what they're looking for.

34:11

Yeah, definitely. And like you said, with the doctors

34:13

or attorneys, a lot of times it's, again,

34:15

I have no clue what to do

34:17

here. I want someone to fix me. I want to feel

34:20

better. And a doctor might say, okay,

34:22

this is what I'm going to prescribe where we're dealing

34:24

with money, which our clients have to interact

34:27

with. Every day on their own.

34:29

We're not right there. To think like most

34:32

of my clients know, and I'm pretty clear

34:34

about this, like you will know what you own.

34:36

You'll know why you own it. You might not care.

34:39

You might not be into it. You might love it. I

34:41

don't know. But like you, this

34:43

is not like, Beyond your

34:45

capacity to be able to understand

34:48

or do. And I've gotten people

34:50

to feel a lot more confident with

34:52

their money. Even if they've been the ones that tell

34:54

themselves that story, that they're bad with it and

34:56

they can never understand it, or their dad

34:58

would handle it or their uncle or other people,

35:00

and they've always outsourced it to be like,

35:02

okay, no, this is, we're going to,

35:05

we're going to learn about this. This is really important.

35:08

You need to get this. And then if they choose

35:10

to then have me do the training

35:12

or whatever, That's fine, but they made

35:14

that choice being like, okay, I understand what's

35:17

going on. It's not just me blindly being

35:19

like, I don't know what

35:21

they're doing because I think like that

35:23

sense of, just that blind faith, I

35:26

just don't think it exists anymore. And

35:28

I think our industry was built on

35:30

that. I do.

35:32

And because exclusivity is one,

35:34

that is one reason it was built on that. To

35:37

it, we have marketed

35:39

it like it's this very complex, crazy

35:41

thing. And yes certain

35:43

funds and ETFs and how they're actually ran

35:46

internally. Okay. That

35:48

takes a big brain, but like why

35:50

and how you can implement it. Yeah.

35:52

You, everyone

35:54

can read that. You can figure that out. We've

35:57

just been so into driven in. And I think

35:59

part of it has to do with. our education

36:01

system, which is a whole different topic, but also

36:03

our family structure, right? And

36:06

families that talk about things and can

36:09

teach inside of their own family,

36:11

these things about money. Usually

36:13

are the ones that end up leaving

36:16

a legacy and building this, whole family thing

36:18

as the rest of us who grew up poor

36:20

and not a lot of money and families

36:22

that didn't talk about money. And now you reflect

36:24

on it and holy crap, they did really bad

36:26

things with their money, but they had no clue. We're

36:29

the ones out here trying to like, Figure

36:31

out life and feel bad about making a purchase,

36:34

even though we have the money still, and

36:36

those things are important and it comes down to

36:39

being able to talk about it and open

36:41

people's emotions up. And guess what?

36:44

People love talking about themselves.

36:45

Yeah. And

36:47

then sometimes I'll ask people like what their, you know,

36:50

what their first thoughts are when I like say the word money

36:52

and it's just Oh, anxious. No, I hate

36:55

it. Can't stand it. Don't want to think about it. Oh my God.

36:57

It's pathetic. Like about their own money. And it's okay,

36:59

if that was your boyfriend or

37:01

somebody you were talking about and that's how you describe

37:03

them, like, how do you think that relationship would end up?

37:07

And they're like, not good at all, and so

37:09

even just trying to reframe okay, yes,

37:11

we might not have exactly what we want right now. Why do

37:13

we want this much? First of all,

37:15

what do we think it's going to change about us if we get there?

37:18

Can we appreciate what we have today? Because I know

37:20

for a lot of times we didn't have much when I was growing

37:23

up either, but we might've had enough to get through

37:25

the week or to do this,

37:27

and it's not, it starts from there

37:29

just. To stop feeling terrible

37:31

or hating it to move to a more neutral

37:33

state. But I think that

37:35

a lot of times, if you're not, if

37:38

you're not asking those questions, then it's just

37:40

going to be okay. I'm just going to need more. There's

37:42

never going to be enough. And I think a lot

37:44

of times. People are doing better than

37:46

they think they're just so used to

37:48

that. Like it's not good enough. It's not as good as everybody

37:51

else. And so trying to get

37:53

that level to be set more internally.

37:56

Yeah.

37:57

Yeah I tell clients a lot, you're doing

38:00

a lot better than most people, like the average

38:02

and they are like, you just don't feel

38:04

it. We're

38:04

talking to us. If

38:07

they even think about us ever,

38:10

they are way ahead of the game. Like the

38:12

fact that they, is just to

38:15

me, the fact that they even care

38:17

is putting them so far ahead of,

38:20

people who are not thinking

38:22

about this at all or don't care

38:25

or don't, don't even want to take, take a look

38:27

at things. So yeah, you're right. And

38:29

I think that could be, It can be helpful too, but

38:31

it's certainly surprising how little comfort

38:34

there is in general across

38:37

the whole spectrum of how people feel about

38:40

their wealth.

38:42

All right. As we're wrapping this up about 45

38:44

minutes, I want you to

38:46

leave, or at least this last conversation

38:48

to be one thing that you

38:50

believe people can do to take that next step

38:52

to come talk to us. And again, people, it doesn't

38:54

have to be specifically us too, but

38:57

taking that next step to reach out and.

39:00

Start interviewing, figuring out who this person's

39:02

going to be to help you.

39:05

So I think if anybody is

39:07

listening or they've been thinking,

39:09

for a long time, I want to get,

39:12

I want to meet with somebody. I want to really

39:15

look at this. I want to find out if I'm on the right track.

39:17

I want to make some big changes in

39:19

my life. I think that it's,

39:22

a lot of times there's a lot of information out there,

39:24

which can put you in that overwhelmed state where

39:26

I don't, I. I just, I

39:29

read all these things or I listened to all these podcasts, but

39:31

now I'm not going to do anything. I think you

39:33

have to, instead of just taking in

39:35

information, you have to take action. And

39:38

so even if you're just looking at writing out what

39:40

you owe and what you own and doing

39:42

a simple Budget or cashflow,

39:44

just to figure out where you are today to

39:47

have a starting point, even if it's a little painful,

39:49

like even just taking that one action can then

39:51

give your brain that proof that, okay,

39:54

I can take another action. I

39:56

can maybe call somebody, maybe I can set

39:58

up a discovery meeting, or maybe

40:00

I can, look at coaching

40:03

programs or something out there and then,

40:05

start to, engage. You don't have to commit.

40:08

To anything. I don't think that

40:11

a lot of times people would be like, I don't know if I

40:13

need you. And I'm like, put some time on my calendar.

40:15

I'll help you figure it out. And just, try

40:17

to, talk to people more about, I think

40:19

in your network, if people are open to talking about Money

40:22

or what they do, or if they use certain tools or

40:24

techniques, I think the more comfortable you are

40:26

talking about it, the more comfortable the people

40:28

around you might be knowing that you're

40:30

open to that conversation. So I

40:32

think instead of just consuming and taking everything

40:34

all in, and then just waiting for something to happen,

40:37

you have to really, even if it's just one simple

40:40

step forward can really

40:42

make a big change in your finances.

40:44

You hear to her first, listen to her. And

40:46

I would challenge you. I'm gonna leave everyone with the challenge and

40:48

that is just reach out to us on social then.

40:51

Ask us a question engage with what we're putting

40:53

out there. If that's an easy step for

40:55

you, go right ahead. We are open for

40:57

it. We're ready for it. We'd be glad to

40:59

have conversations with you and figure out. Who

41:02

and what is the best fit for you? I appreciate

41:05

Misty. This has been fantastic. I

41:07

cannot wait for this one to go out. And

41:09

everyone tune into your podcast. You

41:11

want to leave your socials and your podcast?

41:14

Sure. So you could find me pretty much on all

41:16

social media at Misty Lynch CFP. Also

41:18

my website is mistylynch. com

41:21

and that's where you can find links to my book.

41:23

My podcast and the show

41:25

that I worked on heartbroke where I talked to couples

41:27

about their finances and it's

41:29

all there. I would love for you to check it out. And definitely

41:32

even if you are, even if you just find a few people

41:34

that you really what they're saying, go ahead and

41:37

try to implement some of those things that you're learning

41:39

and see how far you get.

41:40

Simple as that. Missy Lynch. com everybody.

41:57

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is available on the Black Mammoth website,

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42:27

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42:30

have the potential for profit or loss.

42:32

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42:34

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42:36

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42:43

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42:48

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43:42

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