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1:44

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

1:47

Woo. Woo. Hello, and

1:49

welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm Kelsey

1:52

McKinney, and in each episode of

1:54

this podcast, we're gonna bring

1:56

you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real

1:58

world. I am. So

2:00

happy to have with me today,

2:02

Hayes Brown. Hayes, welcome. Hello,

2:05

Kelsey. I am, I am, I can't, I

2:08

can't with this right now that I'm actually

2:10

doing this with you right now. I'm so

2:12

happy you're here. I'm going to tell the people who you are

2:14

before we get into it. Okay? Okay. Okay.

2:16

Go ahead. Hayes Brown is a writer

2:18

and editor for MSNBC daily, MSNBC's digital

2:20

opinion page where he helps frame the

2:23

news of the day for readers and

2:25

appears as an on air guest on

2:27

the network. Hayes was previously at BuzzFeed

2:29

news rest in peace, where he was

2:31

the deputy world news editor alongside others

2:34

to my random jobs. Fun. He also

2:36

hosted impeachment today, a daily podcast covering

2:38

the first Trump impeachment. I love the

2:40

word first. And then

2:42

cohosted the podcast news a clock. His

2:45

written work has also appeared in ThinkProgress

2:47

also rest in peace. The outline also

2:49

rest in peace, foreign policy and

2:51

the week. And he holds a

2:53

degree in international relations from Michigan

2:56

State University. Hayes, welcome to the

2:58

podcast. Kelsey, thank

3:00

you so much. I am just overjoyed

3:02

to be here with you. I cannot

3:04

explain how pleased I am

3:06

to be doing this. Ah,

3:08

the word screaming, crying, throwing

3:10

up come to mind. I

3:14

internally, I am just

3:16

like overstimulated to the point

3:18

of vomiting and that will

3:21

continue throughout this entire process. And I

3:23

think that that's the right vibe, just in general

3:25

for what we're going to do today. I

3:28

was told that you brought a gossip story

3:30

for me. And then also I saw you

3:32

waving around a piece of paper earlier. Can

3:34

you? Can I know what's on there?

3:38

You may. So I sent out

3:40

a call to some of my good friends

3:42

and one of them really delivered a best

3:44

friend. Yes. So

3:47

this story comes pre anonymized. So

3:51

this friend of a friend, let's call her

3:53

Sarah, is a lovely

3:55

woman. Back in February,

3:57

she was dating a guy that

3:59

we're calling Dallas. Dallas?

4:02

Dallas. Dallas. Pretty wealthy, divorced,

4:04

had a kid, but they were really

4:06

happy together. Sarah had

4:09

also been married before. She married young

4:11

and she's a widow. Oh,

4:13

tragic. Tragic. But

4:16

they were good together. But then,

4:18

Dallas got a seven-figure

4:20

job offer in Singapore. Right?

4:23

What's that like? Right?

4:26

Who knows? But Sarah is

4:28

studying to be a nurse here in

4:30

New York City, so they realize they

4:32

have to break up. It varies. The

4:34

time difference to Singapore, that's not manageable.

4:38

Right? So, we fast

4:40

forward to about

4:43

a couple of weeks ago,

4:45

right, when Dallas gets back in touch with

4:47

Sarah and says, like, look, I really need

4:49

to talk to you. In the

4:51

meantime, in that, like, gap, she had

4:53

started dating someone else, but didn't

4:55

tell the new guy that she was going to meet

4:57

up with her ex because she's like, eh, what if

4:59

it's nothing? What he wanted

5:01

to tell her, though, was that he's not moving

5:04

to Singapore. And he had actually

5:06

spent the last eight months negotiating with this

5:08

company to give him the same salary they

5:10

would have given him in the Singapore office,

5:12

in the New York office. What? Because

5:14

when, yes, because when Sarah said that she wasn't going

5:16

to move with him, Dallas reevaluated

5:19

his entire life, realized he couldn't

5:21

live without her. And

5:23

so he showed up to this meeting with Sarah

5:25

with a plan to put her on the mortgage

5:27

of his condo. He showed up

5:30

with a diamond tennis bracelet, saying

5:32

he was still in love with her and wanted to

5:35

marry her. And if she was open,

5:37

he would propose when she's ready, but she

5:39

could keep the bracelet either way. This is

5:41

like everything you're saying is like the kind of

5:44

fantasy that your friend tells you at brunch. Like,

5:46

I just feel that he's going to do this.

5:48

And you're like, Carly, you're delusional. Like this is

5:50

never going to happen. But

5:53

this happened. And Sarah apparently

5:56

had the leverage to say, OK, I'll

5:59

think about it. And

6:01

then sent him a $35,000 emerald and diamond engagement

6:03

ring. And

6:07

he's like, oh yeah, that's doable. No problem. I can get you that.

6:10

So she told her person

6:12

she was dating that she's

6:14

getting back with her ex. The guy went

6:16

on a crazy racist rant because Dallas is

6:18

Asian. So, bullet dog. Wow. Truly

6:21

bullet dog. So, yeah,

6:24

that happened. That is

6:26

a real life thing that happened. I

6:32

know. Take a second. Breathe. Take it all in. I

6:34

think what's freaking me out is this is

6:36

like urban legend territory of the

6:38

reason that people have false hope,

6:40

right? Like it scares me because

6:43

I'm like, there's no way. Like

6:45

he spent eight

6:47

months convincing like one,

6:50

okay, girl boss, incredible to convince them

6:52

to give you seven figures to stay

6:54

in New York City, but also what?

6:58

Yeah, apparently he had cut off like most

7:00

contact with her and she was feeling like

7:02

some kind of way about it. But turns

7:04

out he didn't want because he didn't want

7:06

to give her false hope. So I'm negotiating

7:08

with this. I'm going to try and make

7:10

it happen. So she was like, well, I

7:12

guess he's like just gone. He's moving

7:14

on. And so I'm going to move on. And then

7:17

he shows up and it's like, so yes.

7:20

Thank you. I appreciate

7:22

your reporting of this gossip. And you're

7:25

bringing it to us. I'm sure the

7:27

listeners will also be very grateful. If

7:30

Dallas has, you know, brothers or cousins

7:32

who are similar to him, I recommend

7:35

him get in touch because I have a lot of

7:37

single friends who would like to meet them. I would

7:40

like to. Yeah, I would like

7:43

to meet them too. Honestly, like, you know

7:45

what? Yeah, what are they up to? I

7:47

love this story. Thank

7:51

you for bringing it to me. Do

7:54

you want to hear the story that I have? I

7:56

want nothing. Oh my God. Okay, let's get into it.

7:59

You ready to go? That's it? Normal

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Progressive is brought to you by Progressive, where customers

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savings will vary. Can

8:42

you tell me about how you get your hair cut?

8:46

Yeah, sure. So I actually,

8:49

it's actually pretty ridiculous.

8:51

Because I started

8:54

growing my hair out, like for years just got

8:56

like a super short like buzz cut kind of

8:58

thing going right. And then

9:00

around like 2017, I started growing

9:02

it out, but I

9:05

had no idea what to do with it. A plastic problem.

9:07

Couple of very bad hair fescences to use,

9:09

where it's like, oh, should I just buzz it all

9:11

off and start over? And then I found a place

9:14

that it's a salon that

9:16

specializes in black hair. It's unisex.

9:20

And the problem is

9:23

though that since the pandemic,

9:26

it has over doubled

9:28

in price. And I'm

9:30

sorry that happened to you. That's bad. It's

9:34

very boutique. Very is pretty bougie. I love that.

9:36

I'm not going to lie. Just take my money.

9:38

I'm going to not think too hard about it.

9:41

Incredible. I asked because our friend of

9:43

a friend today, Amber works at a

9:45

bougie salon. She

9:47

started there like right after high school.

9:50

And she loves it. It's

9:52

communal. It's gossipy. It's

9:55

lighthearted. This space

9:57

is not large, but it's very

9:59

well-loved. decorated like

10:01

tall check-in counter nice host

10:03

like huge mirrors with frames

10:06

like stainless steel washing stations right like

10:09

beautiful the customers are

10:11

adorable usually but sometimes

10:14

they're bad I mean

10:16

yeah they wine they moan

10:19

sometimes they bark oh

10:23

yeah because it's a dog salon where

10:25

she worked oh okay

10:28

you know you had yeah you

10:30

really you got me I you had me

10:32

I was there and then you pulled the

10:34

twist you pulled the rug out from under

10:36

me and I appreciate that how do you

10:38

feel about this about

10:41

dog salons in general about this particular bougie

10:43

both I

10:45

mean I appreciate that I think

10:48

that I have never taken

10:50

my own dog to a dog salon mostly

10:54

because he hates leaving the apartment

10:57

right he does not enjoy water

10:59

so I'm like why why stress

11:02

both of us out I I am

11:04

very curious about the pricing structure and

11:06

I like I I'm one of the

11:09

I judge a little a little bit

11:11

I mean some dogs need it yes

11:13

like a long-haired breed like an English

11:15

sheep dog or dogs that were with

11:17

fur that cannot it's necessary I get

11:19

it someone has to take care of

11:21

that okay so I think your

11:23

inclination to being judgy is correct here

11:26

because this is like a fancy dog

11:28

salon which is why we call it

11:30

a dog salon and not like a

11:33

dog or a dog wash

11:35

yes this salon is

11:37

called hounds tooth oh

11:40

that's beautiful oh no

11:42

that's oh that's

11:45

so Tony yes hounds

11:47

tooth I'm I'm

11:49

impressed and annoyed at the same time

11:52

the dogs that come to this place

11:54

are fancy they are like little fancy

11:56

dogs that go inside purses big

11:58

fancy dogs with too much hair, show

12:01

dogs getting ready for their big day, and

12:03

also moths that just have really rich owners.

12:06

Right. Amber loves this job.

12:08

She's like, I love dogs. I love

12:11

making them pretty. I love the vibes

12:13

that hounds tooth, which are like immaculate.

12:16

But what she really loves are like her co workers

12:18

and the people that she gets to hang out with all day.

12:21

Right. But one summer, all of her co workers

12:23

start leaving. One bought a

12:25

house moved to a more affordable city one yelled

12:28

at a customer who said that she wanted her

12:30

dog to have extensions. No,

12:32

I mean, why? No, because

12:34

the customer is no,

12:44

hold on. This is going to take me

12:46

a second process. I'm so sorry. I know

12:49

you have more of a list. No, go

12:51

to be stuck. The phrase dog is sometimes

12:53

the customer isn't my right. The

12:55

phrase dog extension is going to be

12:57

playing in my head on loop for

13:00

days now. Okay. One of

13:02

her co workers was like left because they

13:04

started dating the owner's daughter. Escondylo.

13:07

The Escondylos at this place are

13:09

huge. So now

13:11

poor Amber is the only

13:13

one left at this boutique

13:15

dog salon and she is

13:17

drowning in appointments like way too

13:20

many dogs. And

13:22

she's mad because she's like, usually at

13:24

this place, whoever the newest employee is

13:26

has to do the worst task, obviously.

13:29

But the worst task

13:32

here is like cleaning out the drains, which

13:34

are full of dog hair, which is disgusting.

13:36

And now Amber has to do that. And

13:38

she's like, I've been here for five years.

13:40

I should not have to do this. You're

13:43

above drain beauty, Amber. Yes.

13:45

You're Amber, what do you do?

13:50

I mean, I start asking

13:53

my friends, Hey, who

13:55

likes dogs? Does anyone want

13:57

to come work with me at this great dog salon?

14:01

It's a workers market, guys. We're just for here.

14:04

You can negotiate for a great salary. It

14:06

might be better than mine. Who knows? Just

14:08

come on and please save me. And

14:11

also you have to deal with all the work. I love that plan. Amber

14:14

is like, I'm going to talk to the owner of

14:16

the salon and be like, I can't keep doing

14:18

this. I'm going to die. So

14:20

she goes and talks to the owner of the salon and is like,

14:22

Hey, I am working all the time. There

14:24

are so many dogs. I'm drowning. Please

14:26

help me. And

14:29

the owner is like, what

14:31

do you consider becoming the manager?

14:35

Oh, do you think she should be the manager? I

14:37

mean, I have no idea about her

14:40

organizational skills, but being manager automatically means

14:42

that there's going to be someone below

14:44

you to deal with the dog hair

14:46

drain. So not bad. I

14:48

mean bump up that salary, make sure

14:50

it's not just a title boost. Remember

14:53

the owner also should be desperate here.

14:56

There's only one employee. Yes.

14:59

Oon employee. So play

15:02

your cards, right? Amber. Do

15:04

this. Yes. Take

15:06

the job, but negotiate. Yeah. Amber's

15:08

like, I know Cheryl Sandberg exists. Lean in,

15:10

baby. She's like, I want to raise

15:14

immediately. She's

15:16

like, and I'm interested

15:19

in being a manager, but manage who?

15:22

I'm the only one here. So she's like,

15:25

I want three people hired by the end

15:27

of this month. We

15:30

like Amber. Amber is a go-getter. And the owner

15:32

is like, done. She's

15:35

like, I've been hiring. Your first

15:37

hire starts tomorrow. That

15:39

feels like something that Amber might

15:42

have should have known before that, but okay,

15:44

sure. Spring it now. Why

15:46

not? Next day comes. It's

15:48

her first day as manager. She's like, here I go.

15:50

She arrives to open the salon and

15:52

already a woman is there. She's

15:55

in her like mid sixties. She has purple

15:57

hair. This is Queenie. Queenie

16:00

is the new hire. Okay,

16:03

okay. Are we talking purple like

16:06

old woman like light lavender purple or

16:08

we talking purple like deep like

16:11

rich royal purple. We're talking like royal purple. Love

16:15

it. Love her. Wonderful. Here's Queenie's deal.

16:17

Queenie used to be a nail

16:20

artist for fancy celebrities.

16:23

I really hope you were about to say for fancy dogs. That

16:26

works too. No,

16:28

she liked fashion week nails. She did

16:31

like nails for people going on tour

16:33

nails for Hollywood superstars. And

16:36

all of those people drove Queenie fucking

16:38

bunkers. So one day after

16:40

some model was like you have to remove all

16:42

of my acrylic nails because they're like one millimeter

16:44

too long and put them back on Queenie was

16:46

like no more divas. And

16:49

so she quit doing celebrity nails

16:52

and she went to like dog salon

16:55

school. Which is a

16:57

thing I've just learned. Apparently and she

16:59

took like a ton of supplemental classes and so

17:01

she's like now the only divas for me are

17:04

dogs and guess what? Dogs can't talk.

17:07

Correct. We love a late in

17:09

life career shift. Good for

17:11

you, Queenie. Yeah, exactly. So Amber's

17:13

like welcome Queenie. So glad

17:15

you're here. Here's your station.

17:18

Queenie immediately starts pulling out

17:20

like fancy products. And

17:22

so as Queenie's doing her first dog,

17:24

Amber is like, oh, I realized like

17:26

what kind of stylist Queenie is. Which

17:29

is that Queenie creates a spa like

17:32

atmosphere for the dog. So she has

17:34

very expensive shampoos and conditioners. She's

17:36

pampering the dog, massaging the dog,

17:39

playing like calming music

17:41

for the dog. Like that's her whole

17:43

thing. Okay, okay.

17:45

Yep. Sure. You know what? As

17:48

long as the owner of said dog is

17:50

willing to pay for such fanciness. Yeah,

17:53

sure. These owners are. Why not? Can

17:57

you foresee any problems on the horizon?

18:00

at this point are you still feeling good? I'm

18:03

feeling cautiously optimistic. My

18:06

biggest concern right now is

18:09

that Queenie might

18:11

out-boogee the other

18:14

future workers. So that's

18:16

like she's setting a bar pretty high

18:18

for everyone who's to come after. So

18:20

I'm like I'm hoping that the owner

18:22

is looking for Queenie level people at

18:25

this point. The first week with Queenie

18:27

goes great. She's a great worker. She's got

18:29

all of her shit in order. She's very

18:31

well organized and very good with the dogs. Early

18:35

the next week, the second hire starts. Her

18:37

name is Savannah. Savannah is

18:39

like really I am

18:41

not here to make friends hours. She

18:44

is like I put my headphones in, I

18:46

come to work, I do my work, I

18:48

go home. Which

18:52

is efficient. Yeah, absolutely. And

18:55

she's not as into this wanky stuff

18:57

as Queenie which is like helpful because

19:00

sometimes you have dogs that just need to be shampooed.

19:03

Doesn't have a ton of her own supplies but that's fine. Savannah

19:06

and Queenie only talk at lunch. The

19:08

rest of the time they are working

19:10

independently. And so Amber is like I'm

19:13

the best manager of all time. Like

19:16

everyone is doing great. But

19:18

then two weeks after Savannah is

19:20

hired. Amber goes into

19:22

the little break room and Savannah

19:24

and Queenie are whispering. And

19:27

when she comes in they stop. Red

19:30

flag, red flag, danger, danger. Why

19:33

danger? Qua? Well one,

19:35

they don't talk. Why are you talking? Two,

19:38

why did you stop when Amber walked into

19:40

the room? I mean as

19:43

someone who I

19:45

wouldn't say is paranoid but given

19:47

like the circumstances of the story

19:49

telling environment I'm worried for Amber

19:51

immediately. Amber is also worried

19:54

for Amber immediately. Amber is like are

19:56

they whispering about me? sharing

22:00

vital information with her manager at this point.

22:04

And that's got to change. This

22:06

information blackout situation is very stressful

22:08

to me. And I'm assuming Amber

22:10

immediately calls the owner and

22:12

she's like, hello, excuse me. Um, did

22:15

we hire Dinah? Like

22:17

all the girls are talking and

22:20

the owner is like, Oh, I wanted it to be

22:22

a surprise. And

22:25

Amber is like, okay, maybe let's

22:27

not do that. Surprise it. Like

22:30

I need to know what's happening here,

22:32

please. But

22:35

she is also psyched because

22:38

Dinah, as you

22:40

have surmised is the dog

22:42

stylist in this city. She's

22:46

got hundreds of thousands of Instagram

22:48

followers. She makes like

22:50

beautiful little reels and TikToks

22:52

of like the dog transformations. She

22:55

traveled out of like out of the

22:57

country to learn Japanese grooming styles so

23:00

that she can turn the dogs like hair

23:02

into these like special shapes. She's

23:05

like inspiring the next generation of

23:07

dog stylists. Well,

23:10

as long as she's inspiring the, yeah, Amber

23:12

is thrilled because she's like Dinah

23:14

is insanely technically talented. Like she

23:16

can do things that no one

23:19

else can do. Like she could

23:21

do perms. She could do highlights. There

23:23

Amber's like, if anyone could add extensions

23:25

to a dog, it's Dinah. Oh,

23:29

but would she, but does she

23:31

know enough to not? Like

23:33

that's my question. Wow. Would you like to

23:35

see an example? Oh

23:38

God. Okay. Oh

23:40

God. Oh no.

23:42

Oh no. I, oh, it looks

23:44

so happy, but it shouldn't. No.

23:50

Tell the listeners what you see. What

23:53

I see is a before and after

23:56

on the left. It looks to be

23:58

like a Bijon Frise, some kind of fluffy white. little

24:00

dog. On the left is its

24:03

overgrown fur, it's in its eyes, its

24:05

whiskers are too long and have those

24:07

little brown streaks on it that are

24:10

very tragic that white dogs get. And

24:13

like, Buddy clearly can't see, just

24:15

not great. And

24:18

on the right is the after,

24:20

where on the one hand, the

24:22

pup looks so much happier, the

24:24

fur is, you know, very neatly

24:26

cut, tight, like instead of having

24:28

like loose curls everywhere, it's very like

24:30

teddy bear lamb looking. But then

24:34

on top is what I can

24:36

only describe as a very

24:39

90s flash up, like

24:41

a shorter version of Gerald from Hey Arnold

24:44

if you're of a certain generation, you know,

24:46

like full on like, if that were a

24:48

character in a 90s sitcom, his name would

24:50

be Jermaine. That is the hairstyle

24:52

we're talking about. Would you like to

24:54

see another example of what Diana can do? Yes,

24:57

please. Here it is. Oh,

25:00

I don't know how I feel about this

25:02

one. Took me a second to

25:05

process what I'm looking at. And this is, it does

25:08

resemble in a sense, dog extensions.

25:10

It's a like husky, malamute looking

25:13

dog, black and white. And in

25:15

their fur, there's like feathers,

25:18

like bright, multi colored,

25:20

some striped feathers like

25:23

put in its hair, put in it's

25:26

like below its ear, like it's where

25:28

you would see like a ponytail hanging or something

25:30

like that. And I'm like, is

25:33

this appropriation? What's happening here? Like, I

25:35

don't know who would be appropriated, but

25:37

it makes me immediately think, what

25:39

are you mimicking? And why does

25:41

it feel a little offensive on the inside? Yeah, it's

25:43

like white girls

25:46

in 2010 at Coachella hours. Yes.

25:48

In this dog. Right. It's like, wow,

25:52

I, you know what, if

25:55

you can scam someone out of I'm

25:57

sure hundreds of dollars for some tacky

25:59

feathers. in your dog's fur, you know what,

26:01

more power to you. Sure, I

26:04

guess, on that one level, I

26:06

will accept this level of scam. But,

26:09

mmm, weird. Amber

26:13

is like, thrilled. She's

26:15

like, I'm so glad we got

26:17

Dinah. Dinah is ingenious. Dinah

26:19

is supremely talented. And

26:22

that is where your problem starts.

26:24

Working with geniuses never goes well. Unless

26:27

they are like, they're very like, so

26:29

assume like geniuses, one person of

26:31

the world, right? 0.1%

26:33

of those people are well-adjusted,

26:36

normal people that

26:40

you want to spend time with. Yes. Amber

26:43

immediately goes like waltzing back into the break

26:45

room and is like, great news, we

26:47

got Dinah. And

26:50

Queenie and Savannah are so excited. They're

26:52

like, she's so talented. This is so

26:54

great. Like, Hounds Tooth is really moving up.

26:58

I'm shaking my head because I feel

27:01

like they're overlooking a couple of key

27:03

issues here that I'm really curious about.

27:05

So I feel like issue number one

27:07

is, you're now

27:09

working with a genius. Everyone's

27:12

going to want to book the genius.

27:15

You are automatically the

27:17

backup to Dinah in

27:19

terms of bookings. And

27:21

going back to my original

27:24

genius point, like, yeah, she's

27:26

very good, but I've heard

27:28

nothing about how she is to work with.

27:30

And like, oh, I've heard she's so nice.

27:32

She's so funny. Just know that she's so

27:34

talented. It's like, that is a red flag

27:36

to me. Yes. Dinah

27:38

arrives the next morning. She's

27:41

15 minutes late. She

27:43

is wearing those like tiny,

27:46

tiny sunglasses. She

27:48

like looks like the stylist from the Princess

27:50

Diaries. Yeah, that I

27:52

can appreciate. She has

27:54

two suitcases with her.

27:58

Like roller bags. Roller bags. filled

28:00

with products. She

28:03

has mousses, she

28:05

has like gels, she has scissors,

28:07

she has feathers, she has like

28:10

sparkly tinsel, who knows what that's

28:12

for, she has protractors, and

28:14

she also has like dog treats and dog toys.

28:18

Protractors is what really kills me

28:20

right now because if you guys had seen

28:22

like with your eyes the image of these

28:25

dogs then yeah you're gonna need a protractor

28:27

to get those angles so exact. Exactly. Dina

28:30

shows up, everyone's so happy to

28:33

meet her, she introduces herself and

28:35

then she does not stop talking

28:37

for the entire eight hours that

28:39

she's there. About what? You

28:43

know, whatever she thinks of.

28:46

Oh no. She is just a talker.

28:49

Yep, okay. Amber is

28:51

like maybe she's nervous. The

28:54

next day is the same. She

28:57

comes in, she like turns down the

28:59

music so that they can all talk. Oh okay

29:04

so Savannah is already like I'm

29:06

just here to listen to my

29:08

music not listen to Dina so

29:11

this is already a problem brewing.

29:13

Yeah. On the

29:15

third day of Dina's

29:17

tenure, everyone is swamped

29:20

when this little tiny dog is brought

29:22

in. This dog has a

29:25

problem that I have now learned is extremely

29:27

common in dog salons which is that the

29:29

dog has like a lot of matting in

29:31

its fur because he

29:33

like isn't brushed for whatever reason. Right.

29:36

And so the stylist needs to like brush out all

29:38

the mats. But the

29:40

people who bring in these kinds of dogs that

29:42

are very matted, they always have the same excuse

29:44

which is like my relative watched the dog over

29:46

the weekend and then he just became very matted

29:49

by magic in like three days. Yeah,

29:51

clearly. Like I

29:54

brush Lord Fauntleroy

29:56

here thrice daily and then when my

29:58

instructions were not filed followed once.

30:01

Look at him. Look at him. Looks like

30:03

garbage. Exactly. So

30:08

the one who brings him this dog is like,

30:10

I want, what did you

30:12

say, Lord Fauntleroy brushed? And I

30:14

want him unmatted. And

30:17

I want to pay the same amount that I would

30:19

usually pay for a dog to just be groomed.

30:23

Yeah. No,

30:26

I'm sorry. Like this

30:28

is houndstooth plus Dina. Exactly. This

30:31

is, we have a scale here and

30:34

the scale is only for rich people.

30:37

So Amber is like, okay, we'll take

30:39

the dog. You're going to have to pay extra

30:41

for us to unmount it. And the woman's like,

30:43

sure, whatever money is no object to me. Like,

30:45

please make my dog beautiful again. And Amber is

30:47

like, great. So she goes around and she's

30:49

like, Queenie, do you have time for

30:51

this dog? And Queenie is like, no, I have

30:53

like eight dogs on my schedule.

30:56

They're all returning. They're all fancy.

30:59

Amber's like, okay. She goes to Savannah. Savannah

31:01

takes out her earbud where she's like listening

31:03

to music to ignore Dina. And

31:06

Savannah's like, no, I'm doing 20 dogs

31:08

today. Like I don't have time for this. Amber's

31:12

like, I also don't have time for this because I

31:14

need to work the front desk and

31:16

I need to like manage. So

31:18

she goes over to Dina. Dina

31:21

has spent all morning braiding the ear

31:23

hair on a cocker spaniel. I'm

31:28

the whore. God

31:33

damn it. Amber's

31:37

like, Dina, I really love

31:39

what you're doing here. Really respect this.

31:41

Um, could you help me

31:43

with this severely matted dog instead?

31:47

And Dina's like, I'm so sorry, but I've

31:49

only done one of these cocker spaniels here. So I have

31:51

to do the other one. And

31:54

Amber's like, okay. So

31:57

she goes back to Queenie and she's like Queenie.

32:00

Please, can you please fit this dog

32:03

in? And Queenie is like, sure,

32:06

but she is clearly pissed.

32:09

Yeah. You have to manage them. Yeah.

32:12

Like, how? I

32:16

feel like if I'm Amber at this point, like,

32:18

I don't know, my, my personality type is like,

32:20

I would have bitten the bullet as Amber. I'm

32:22

like, well, okay, if they're all busy, I'm just

32:24

going to do it myself just to make sure

32:26

it happens. And so I don't make anyone else

32:28

upset. I might fall behind. I might have to

32:30

stop and start to like go help people up

32:32

front. But they're all doing their

32:34

own thing. So I'm going to take

32:36

Lord Fauntleroy and spend like an hour and

32:38

a half rushing out

32:41

his mats when I really just want to

32:43

take a razor and buzz it all off because

32:45

that's what, that's what the owner deserves at this point.

32:47

But no, I'm going to be a good worker. Amber

32:49

hands off Lord Fauntleroy to Queenie and she's like, thank

32:51

you for your service. The

32:55

next week, word of Dinah being at

32:57

Hounds Tooth has gotten around. So

33:00

no people are coming in with like

33:02

truly the most arranged requests you could

33:05

possibly imagine like they're like, can

33:07

you make my golden

33:09

retriever look like this poodle? And

33:13

Dinah's like, yes. And then she

33:15

spends all day making a golden

33:17

retriever look like a poodle. And

33:21

that's cool. But that also means she's

33:23

doing a dog a day. When

33:25

everyone else is like eight, 10, 20 dogs. Yes,

33:29

that is exactly the problem. It's like

33:31

in the different styles, right? Savannah can

33:33

do the most dogs because she's not

33:35

doing anything fancy. So she's also

33:37

making a good amount of money because she's doing like 15, 20 dogs

33:39

a day. Queenie

33:42

is doing her little like bougier version, like 10

33:44

dogs a day. And

33:46

Dinah is doing one or maybe

33:49

two dogs per day. Mm

33:52

hmm. So now you have like a

33:54

little bit of a resentment problem? Shock.

33:58

I never could have seen this coming. Recently,

34:10

someone slid into my DMs and they

34:12

were like, listen, is Quince actually good?

34:14

And I was like, girly, yes, extremely.

34:16

We don't really do ads for things

34:18

that we don't think are good. Recently,

34:21

I went on a little weekend getaway

34:23

with some girls and I

34:25

took this little bag that I got from Quince that is

34:27

like a little dop kit and it has all of these

34:29

little pockets and you can put all your skincare and stuff

34:31

in there. Because we were sharing a bathroom,

34:34

I had to put this little bag on the counter and

34:36

everyone was like, what is this little bag? And I was

34:38

like, oh my God, that's my Quince bag. Thank you

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returns. quince.com

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slash gossip. On

35:28

Friday, things have gotten so bad

35:30

that when a woman comes in with a

35:32

fluffy dog and she's like, oh my God,

35:34

I'm so sorry, something crazy happened on the

35:36

way in, he got a scorpion stuck in

35:39

his tail. Can you take care of that?

35:42

Excuse? As

35:45

in the scorpion is alive and

35:47

you just have to catch and release it

35:49

and try not to get stung in the

35:51

process? Yes. Take him to

35:54

the vet first. But

35:56

no, I guess you had an appointment. Yeah, she has an

35:58

appointment. Things are so bad. that in the

36:00

salon at this point that Amber is like, I'm

36:03

gonna deal with the scorpion. Like I

36:05

cannot even think about asking someone else

36:07

to do it because they will all

36:09

lose their minds. As

36:11

they should because what I mean it

36:13

could the only thing worse would be

36:18

if they had come in and said okay

36:20

the scorpion is stuck there but it's inspiration

36:23

so not only can you make my dog

36:25

also look like a scorpion. As

36:28

no ma she did this moment in time.

36:30

Amber does it like it takes her

36:32

a while but she gets rid of the

36:34

scorpion and is like I'm successful

36:36

or whatever but now she's in like the

36:39

worst mood of all time because she

36:41

spent all morning trying to not get stung by scorpion.

36:44

Yeah and not get the dog stung by a scorpion. Yeah

36:47

she's in this shit mood when Queenie comes up to

36:49

her it's like I need to talk to you. And

36:52

Amber's like okay and

36:55

Queenie is like Dinah is

36:57

stealing my very expensive dog

36:59

conditioner and using it. Okay

37:04

plot twist did not see this being an issue

37:07

when she'd already come in with several roller

37:09

bags of stuff. So now I'm looking back

37:11

and thinking how much that did Dinah pay

37:14

for? Did she just load up her roller

37:16

bag at the last dog salon on her

37:18

way out? And then she's like I'm full

37:20

on like I don't believe anything about dogs.

37:25

Amber is like okay how

37:28

do you know that she's

37:30

stealing your very expensive dog conditioner and

37:32

using it all? And Queenie

37:34

is like my product is always moved

37:37

when I go in to wash my dogs. And

37:40

Amber's like okay uh but

37:42

dogs are like a little rambunctious

37:44

so sometimes things just get moved.

37:48

Like they hit the conditioner with their tail

37:50

and then it gets picked up and put somewhere else. Like how

37:52

do you know? And like Dinah has all

37:55

these fancy products she brought with her. Like

37:57

why Amber's like this things aren't making

37:59

it. sense to me. And

38:01

Queenie is like, I know

38:04

she's doing it. She's such a diva. Oh

38:09

my god, Queenie is having PTSD

38:11

flashbacks. She's back in her own

38:13

personal celebrity nom right now. Yeah,

38:16

poor Queenie. She's like,

38:19

this is my worst nightmare. I've been returned

38:21

into hell. And the hell is

38:24

women who think that they are the most important thing

38:26

in the world doing whatever they want all the time.

38:30

Amber is like, okay, I

38:32

hear you totally understand. Let's

38:35

take a breath. Like

38:38

maybe she used your conditioner just because she

38:40

had like a difficult dog or something like

38:42

let's wait before we freak out. And

38:45

Queenie is like, okay. But

38:47

then the next week she comes back and it's like

38:49

there's less product than before she is stealing my product.

38:53

Hmm.

38:55

I this is a

38:57

tough one because there's really no evidence

39:01

at this point to point fingers at Dinah.

39:03

There's no like I saw her pick up

39:05

the bottle and use it when

39:07

she thought I wasn't looking. It is vibes

39:09

only. Yeah. There's no this dog

39:11

smells like this conditioner that she was

39:14

working on. And I know that she

39:16

doesn't have this scent in her. There's

39:18

nothing not even circumstantial. Amber

39:21

is like, I will talk

39:23

to Dinah. So she goes to Dinah.

39:25

She's like, Dinah, is there

39:27

any way that you could

39:30

be accidentally using Queenie's products

39:32

when you are washing your dogs? And

39:35

Dinah is like, absolutely not. I

39:37

have a sponsorship with this fancy

39:39

celebrity dog products line. I would

39:41

never use Queenie's

39:44

products. Oh, again,

39:46

I'm torn

39:48

between admiration and disgust. Yes. At

39:51

this point, Kim, there are

39:54

people dying. There are people

39:56

dying, Kim is how I feel right now. Kim, there

39:58

are people. dying

40:00

story across the board.

40:05

Amber is like, thank

40:07

you, Dinah, for this information.

40:10

And then she goes back to

40:12

Queenie and she's like, Queenie, Dinah says

40:14

she's not using your conditioner. She says that she

40:16

always uses this one brand, like, I don't know

40:18

what to tell you. And

40:20

Queenie is like, not happy. Things

40:23

are like slowly escalating. But after like a

40:25

month of all of these women being hired,

40:27

Amber is finally able to let someone else

40:30

open the salon instead of her. She's like,

40:33

great day for me. I get to sleep in. Terrible

40:36

day. She's sleeping in when her

40:38

phone rings and it's Dinah. Did

40:40

he answer it? I

40:44

mean, yes. Because what

40:46

if it's like, oh my

40:48

god, because the salon is

40:50

on fire help. Or like, oh

40:54

no, a dog has been brought in with like

40:56

a bear trap attached to her. We can't convince

40:58

that owner to go to the vet. Like if

41:00

there's like an actual emergency, yes. But

41:02

my gut is saying it's

41:05

not. But it's her first

41:07

time. She's never been manager. Never

41:09

let someone else open the store. She

41:11

picks up the phone. Amber is like,

41:14

I'm sleepy. If it's an

41:16

emergency, they'll call again. Immediately,

41:18

Dinah calls again. God

41:20

damn it. So Amber is like,

41:23

Hello, what? And Dinah

41:25

is like mad, mad. And she's like,

41:27

Queenie opened the salon. And so then

41:30

she got to delegate who gets which

41:32

dogs and Amber is like, yes,

41:36

that's how opening works. And

41:38

Dinah is like, okay, but Queenie

41:40

has nine dogs. And I only

41:43

have one. Excuse

41:47

me, wait. I'm sorry.

41:49

Is she mad about the system as it

41:51

has functioned here to form? Yes. She just

41:54

mad that someone else has decided this. Yes.

41:59

I'm confused. on several levels now.

42:02

And she's like, I just can't believe that Queenie had

42:04

the gall and then when I asked her how come

42:06

she only gave me one dog she said you only

42:08

ever do one anyway. And

42:11

Amber's like in her head like

42:13

that's true though. Like

42:18

okay and any alternative

42:20

is worse you get that right.

42:22

That's worse if you're

42:24

normally given like four or five dogs

42:27

and you do one or two. That's

42:29

worse. I need you to understand that

42:31

that's worse, Diana. Amber's like I'm

42:33

so tired I don't understand what

42:36

anyone is talking about here. She's like okay so

42:39

the problem is that you only have

42:41

one dog and Diana's

42:43

like yes. And Amber's

42:45

like but you usually, no offense,

42:47

only have one dog. And Diana's

42:49

like yeah but not a

42:52

yellow lab. Queenie has

42:54

given her just like a dog if it needs

42:56

to be shampooed. That's actually

42:59

really funny. I'm sorry but that is the perfect burn. I'm

43:01

so proud

43:11

of Queenie for the level

43:13

of smells that went into that. That's

43:15

some foresight. That is her years of

43:17

experience of dealing with divas at work

43:20

right there. Nothing that could really

43:22

be like harmful or anything. You just have to

43:24

let her know that you're not as good

43:26

as that. Amber is like okay okay thank you.

43:28

I will text Queenie whatever.

43:31

She texts Queenie. She's like Queenie

43:35

I see what you did here. Can

43:37

you please give

43:39

Diana one more

43:41

dog. Please.

43:44

And Queenie texts back I refuse to

43:46

split my earnings with that thief. Oh

43:52

oh face cracks. Wow she's

43:54

still all in on

43:56

that. Uh-huh. Wow okay.

44:00

Sure, we're doing it.

44:02

Amber is like, okay. The

44:05

problem here is that you still don't have

44:07

any proof. If

44:09

you had proof, that would be different. I really

44:11

need to go back to bed. Please just fucking

44:13

give Dinah one more dog. And

44:16

Queenie's like, okay. Things

44:19

do not get better after this. Queenie

44:22

keeps trying to split the work the same

44:24

way. Dinah keeps only doing

44:26

one dog per day. Amber

44:28

has to do more and more dogs every

44:30

day because Dinah is so slow. The

44:33

only person having a good time is Savannah

44:35

because she just comes in with her headphones

44:37

and does her 15 dogs and leaves. Bless

44:40

her. Bless her. Getting

44:43

the same rate, same base rate as the

44:45

others. You know what? Great.

44:48

And that does occur to me part of why

44:51

Dinah isn't mad about this because not only is

44:53

she being artistically stifled, but the

44:57

basic dogs, their owners

44:59

are not tipping like the fancy dog. They're

45:03

like, oh, you did a shampoo? Great. Here's

45:06

an extra $30, which sounds like a lot to

45:08

like a normal person. But

45:10

she's, I'm sure you used to getting like, oh,

45:12

you made my dog look

45:15

like Mufasa from The Lion

45:17

King falling to his

45:19

death specifically. Yeah.

45:24

Great. Here, have five grand or

45:26

whatever, you know, just ridiculous things

45:28

like that. So yeah. Wow.

45:31

Because of this dynamic, Dinah and

45:34

Queenie start to like throw

45:36

little bombs across the

45:38

salon. Like Dinah

45:40

opens a box using Queenie's

45:42

like specialty haircutting scissors. Oh,

45:46

wow. And

45:49

then when Queenie starts just like using the

45:52

loudest blow dryer they have every time Dinah

45:54

is trying to take a video. This

45:57

is beautiful. Dinah posts a pic

45:59

on her. Instagram and in the background Queenie

46:01

is like in the middle of eating a sandwich.

46:13

It's so petty. It's so beautifully

46:15

petty. Oh wow. It's so petty.

46:17

Queenie who was like always on

46:19

time starts getting there early

46:21

so that she can like place

46:23

dibs on dogs before Dinah shows up.

46:27

Yes. And Dinah like whines to Amber about

46:29

this and Amber's like she's here early like I

46:31

don't know what to tell you. This is going

46:33

on for weeks and weeks and weeks like the

46:35

vibes are just getting worse. Yes.

46:38

Let's check in how how are you

46:40

doing? How do you

46:42

feel? As an observer I'm

46:44

loving this like I

46:47

can only imagine bringing in my dog

46:49

for their like you know monthly

46:51

shampoo or whatever and being like and

46:53

observing this going on being like I

46:55

think I'm gonna take lunch. Yeah because

47:01

I just want to watch this for the

47:03

rest of the day. As a staffer I

47:05

mean Savannah's had the right to do the whole time.

47:07

Shout out to Savannah but

47:09

if I'm Amber I'm losing my mind.

47:12

Absolutely just like because how do

47:14

you how do you stop this wall?

47:17

How do you end the fighting?

47:19

I don't know. I just don't know.

47:21

She is miserable. This

47:24

is going on for weeks. One

47:26

day she's working the front desk and she gets a phone call

47:29

and on the phone call is

47:31

a very important and fancy woman

47:34

and the fancy woman is like I am

47:36

in a bind. I'm

47:40

sure that money can help you go on. Exactly and

47:42

she's like I have two

47:44

dogs. They both

47:46

need to be groomed and

47:48

styled and their

47:50

normal stylist is sick.

47:53

The woman on the phone is like my

47:55

special beautiful dogs. It will

47:57

take them each like all day. to

48:00

be styled and they it has

48:02

to happen tomorrow because they're going

48:04

to the regional dog show competition.

48:08

Then she's like both of my

48:10

dogs were sired

48:12

by a previous American Kennel

48:15

Club finalist named Shannon Blanc

48:18

and they are very fancy. I

48:22

mean finalist. I'm

48:24

kidding. I'm kidding. It's still very fancy. It's very

48:26

fancy. The woman is like, can you please groom

48:28

my two dogs at Hounds Tooth

48:30

tomorrow? It needs to be

48:32

very precise. It

48:35

will take all day, but my dogs are

48:37

on the rise. This

48:39

is their big break. They need

48:41

to match. Wait,

48:44

you're entering both dogs of the same breed into

48:46

the same show. There could be against each other.

48:48

That feels like a bad strategy personally. I guess

48:51

maybe you're maximizing the odds of your

48:53

dogs trying to reach the

48:56

finals of whatever, but if they look exactly

48:58

alike, they spend

49:01

your money, fancy woman. Spend away. Amber

49:03

is like, thank you so much for

49:05

calling Hounds Tooth. We would love to help you

49:07

with this problem. What

49:09

kind of dogs are they? And

49:12

the woman is like, oh, they're Bichon Freeses.

49:15

Yes, of course they are. Of

49:18

course they are. Bichon Freeses is

49:20

just like the fanciest of little dogs. Like

49:22

if you want fancier than a toy poodle,

49:24

you go for the Bichon Freeses. Like they

49:27

even the name feels

49:30

like you're ordering at a French restaurant. It

49:32

sounds like a salad. Like with a goat

49:34

cheese ball, right? Picture

49:37

a cotton. Now make it a

49:40

dog. That's the Bichon Freeses. Like

49:43

the head is pure dandelion puff, round.

49:46

The shape is round. You stuck

49:48

like a little like a

49:50

cotton ball with little q-tip feet

49:52

on the body. That's that is

49:55

a Bichon Freeses. Obviously,

49:57

this is a hard dog to groom.

50:00

Because the word you kept using

50:02

is round, right? Which means that

50:04

like that dome of hair needs

50:06

to be symmetrical. You

50:09

are working in three dimensions at all times. Yes. So

50:12

the clear choice of who

50:14

you would give this dog to, to groom,

50:17

is Dinah. Correct.

50:20

But there are two dogs. Also

50:23

correct. And Dinah famously works

50:26

extremely slowly. Yep.

50:29

So do you think that she can do

50:31

two in one day? Like what do you

50:33

do here? Okay.

50:35

I just want to say that this has full on

50:38

after school special vibes now. Like

50:40

this is the moment or

50:43

for the nerds out there, the

50:45

neon Genesis Evangelion moment where the

50:47

two competitors have to work in

50:50

sync side by side, perfectly symmetrical.

50:52

Otherwise everyone is doomed. Like

50:55

this is the high school sports movie

50:57

moment where teamwork is key. Do I

50:59

think Dinah can do it in one

51:02

day? Probably not. Like that

51:04

might be a risk you have to take, but in

51:06

theory, this is a moment where Queenie, Dinah,

51:09

put aside their differences, work together

51:11

for the good of houndstooth, and

51:13

make these dumb dogs exactly alike.

51:16

Yes. Amber

51:18

tells the fancy woman on the

51:20

phone. She's like, absolutely we can do this. And

51:23

the woman's like, great, I'll drop them off at open. I

51:25

need them back by 5 p.m. Amber's

51:28

like, no problem. She goes to Queenie and Dinah

51:30

and she's like, can I talk to you? And

51:33

they're like, and Amber's like, listen,

51:36

I cleared both of your schedules tomorrow. I

51:38

know that you are in a feud. I

51:41

have gotten you a bonding activity. Yes.

51:45

She says the name of the owner. She

51:48

says, Shin and Blanc, the dog's

51:50

dad. And both Queenie

51:52

and Dinah's jaws drop. And

51:55

they're like, which one of us gets to

51:57

do the dog? Amber's like, no, no, no. There

52:00

are two dogs. You

52:02

will each do a dog and they

52:05

will match. And

52:07

Queenie and Dinah are both thrilled. Amber's

52:10

like, I'm the best manager of all

52:12

time. I'm a genius. Oh,

52:14

no. Oh, no. I

52:17

you can't just do that and then walk

52:19

away. Like, yeah, they're thrilled.

52:21

But Amber sit down with

52:23

them make a game plan. Like, okay. What's

52:26

the mission brief? Like, how old are they?

52:28

How long is their hair coming in? What's

52:30

the achieved goals? I need to see sketches

52:33

rough draft of like how you're planning on

52:35

doing this before I leave you alone. You're

52:37

drawing like a football coach schema on the

52:39

board. Like we're gonna run this play. Right.

52:41

We're starting at the tail. Yeah. It

52:44

needs to be like 14 millimeters

52:46

long at the end. Moving

52:48

up to creating a geometry

52:50

drawing. Yeah. Right. Like the

52:53

head needs to be a

52:55

perfect 180 degree if

52:58

not mission failure. Amber

53:01

arrives at the store 15 minutes before

53:03

it's supposed to open. Queenie

53:06

and Dinah are both there. And

53:08

she's like, well, well, well,

53:10

and they look happy. They're

53:12

chatting. They open the store

53:16

and Escalade pulls up. The

53:18

woman gets out of the Escalade with her

53:20

two dogs. She's

53:22

like, I know they look bad. I

53:25

had to let their hair grow to be as

53:27

long as possible for the show. And that's why

53:29

I needed you to block the whole day because

53:31

like they don't look fancy right now. This

53:35

is not a picture of these dogs, but it

53:37

is the right vibe. Oh, buddy.

53:41

That's so the picture I'm looking at

53:43

that dog's name is Scruff. And they're

53:46

a very good pup. You know, they're not

53:48

a show dog. They are just like Scruff

53:51

has been like your

53:53

family friend's dog for like most of your life.

53:56

It feels like you just love to give them

53:58

a hug every now and again. They can be

54:00

a little testy as they're getting older. But you know what? They're

54:03

a very good patient dog. That is not

54:05

a show dog. That is just, that's good

54:07

old scruff. This is a dog that's like

54:09

a regular at a bar, right?

54:11

Like she's not, it's not

54:13

fancy. And

54:16

she's like, these are my dogs. The

54:18

stylists are like, okay, thank

54:21

you so much. The woman drops her

54:23

dogs off and they leave. And Amber's like, this is

54:25

so great. We're all going to work together. We're

54:27

going to make a plan. We're going to make

54:29

these two dogs like full glow up. They're going

54:32

to look incredible. And the

54:34

stylists are like, this

54:37

is a good old fashioned style off.

54:40

Absolutely. And it'd be like

54:43

right before you said it, that oh no,

54:46

these two are absolutely going to be

54:48

like, which dog looks better? Not do

54:50

these dogs look exactly alike. Amber

54:52

is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

54:54

no. This is not a style off. Queenie

54:57

and Dinah are like, it's a style

54:59

off. First,

55:01

the dogs must be bathed. They

55:05

take them into a little bathing room. They wet

55:07

them all down. They like massage the dogs with

55:09

their shampoo. Queenie as a special

55:11

conditioner. Dinah's using her

55:13

celebrity dog products. They

55:15

both do the shampoo like very gently. They're

55:17

like massaging the dogs between their eyes to like

55:19

make sure that they are very clean. The

55:22

dogs are just sitting there. They look bored. Yeah,

55:26

the dogs, they're used to that. They're very

55:28

well behaved. It's like, it's like, it's like

55:30

rich kids not being used to like the

55:32

fact that they're going through something that normal

55:35

people get to do. The

55:37

dogs are just sitting there. Dinah decides to

55:39

wash her dog again. Oh. And

55:42

Queenie is like, oh, is that how you're using

55:45

so much of my product? And

55:48

Amber is like, stop it. Queenie

55:52

double conditions her dog. They

55:54

both apply like heat protectant. And

55:57

then they dry the dogs with a towel and they blow

55:59

dry them. And Zaina is

56:01

like yelling across the dog's blunt. She's like, you

56:03

hold the blow dryer too close. Like

56:06

if you back it up, it'll work better for this.

56:09

And Queenie just turns the music up. They'll

56:15

have to brush the dogs while they blow dry.

56:17

So this is like a very long process. Clearly.

56:20

Everyone's getting like an elbow repetitive

56:22

use injury, right? Like it is

56:24

hard. Yeah. Then

56:26

they have to use like a tiny razor to

56:28

shape in between the dog's little paws. So you

56:30

can see the paws and then they have to

56:32

trim their nails. Next, they have

56:35

to trim the body of the dogs. Bichons

56:38

are all about shape. I

56:40

want you to, I have watched a lot of videos on

56:42

how to groom a

56:45

Bichon for competition. And

56:47

the best way I can describe it is that it's like

56:49

trying to trim a hedge. Right?

56:52

Like it's like about shape. So

56:55

they are going zip, zip, zip, zip, zip.

56:57

The tiniest pieces of hair are falling to

56:59

the ground. Zaina and Queenie are

57:01

both backing up 10 paces. They're looking at the

57:03

dogs. They're coming back. They're submitting a guess. The

57:07

haircut is supposed to be like close to the

57:09

body in the torso and then fluffier in the

57:11

legs. The whole time they're tipping, they're also sniping

57:13

at each other. They're

57:16

like, your dog's hair is too long on his stomach. They're

57:18

not going to match. They're like,

57:20

your dog's nails are too long. They're not going to match.

57:23

By 3 p.m., they have

57:25

been working all day. They are done with the

57:27

bodies and they are moving on to the big

57:29

fluffy heads. Zaina's

57:31

dog is like slightly antsier than Queenie's

57:33

dog and keeps turning to like look

57:35

across the salon. And Zaina is like,

57:37

can you, to Amber, like can you make

57:40

Queenie and her dog move? She's distracting

57:42

my dog. I

57:46

mean, have these dogs been fed and walked

57:48

in this time or they've been just on

57:52

the table, on the slab? Amber is

57:54

like, no, I will not move her dog.

57:57

Like, find out what your dog needs. and

58:00

figure it out. Queenie

58:02

and Dinah are both using the finest tooth

58:05

combs you could find to pull these

58:07

dogs hair out, out, out, out. Right,

58:10

and then the tiniest... Yes, their heads

58:12

are like beach balls. They're like

58:14

the biggest round dog heads in the whole world.

58:18

They're using a razor to get the eye crusties out

58:20

to make their eye holes look like little portholes

58:23

to hell. They're

58:25

holding the dog's nose, it's a

58:27

drawer handle while they're scissors snip.

58:29

It's insane. Meanwhile, Savannah

58:32

has styled like 22 dogs today to

58:34

pick up the flag. She's just walking back

58:36

and forth with big dogs this whole time, cleaning

58:38

them up and sending them back out. The

58:42

woman is coming back at me. Yep.

58:44

Amber is becoming stressed because Dinah keeps

58:47

stopping to take videos. Dinah,

58:50

no. But her dog is looking

58:52

really round and fluffy. Queenie, who

58:54

has been going slower all day because she's

58:56

clearly less used to this, is

58:59

also, has her dog looking very round

59:01

and fluffy. At

59:04

4.45, Amber is like Queenie,

59:07

and Queenie looks over her and she's like, there's

59:09

a little hair that's like way too

59:11

long in the back of your dog's head. Like, can

59:13

you please get that? And Queenie's like,

59:16

oh my God, yes, good eye. And she darts

59:18

over to get her scissors out of the sink.

59:20

And as she darts, she bumps into Dinah. No.

59:25

Who has the scissors in her hand? Oh no. And

59:27

she drops a little tongue. No!

59:32

Kelsey, no! And with the bottom of the beach and free face,

59:35

fear head. No!

59:38

Kelsey, no. Did we clear

59:40

the dog is five? Oh

59:42

yeah, no. It is the fear shape that

59:44

is no longer five. Absolutely,

59:47

yeah, I get that. I get

59:49

that they failed their mission now.

59:53

Unless you take a chunk

59:55

out of the other dog's head too, you'd be

59:57

like, clearly that's the style, right? Yeah, what are

59:59

you gonna do? do here. You have a

1:00:01

chunk missing. I

1:00:03

mean, I'm assuming that

1:00:06

glue is not enough.

1:00:09

Oh, you know what? I got it. I have this laid on

1:00:12

me. Dog extension.

1:00:17

I love this plan. And I don't think it would

1:00:19

be a bad idea if they were not

1:00:22

running out of time. Yeah, Queenie

1:00:24

is so apologetic,

1:00:26

right? Like she did not mean

1:00:28

to bump Dinah out. And Dinah

1:00:30

is so angry. Like, yeah, combing

1:00:33

and like this cannot be fixed.

1:00:36

And she's like, Amber, what do I do? And

1:00:38

Amber is like, you're gonna have to make the

1:00:40

whole sphere smaller. Like

1:00:43

to make it look even. Yeah,

1:00:45

that's the only real solution. And then you had

1:00:47

to do the exact same length on the other

1:00:49

one. And that's well, that's Dinah's

1:00:51

point. Dinah's like, well, this isn't fair. If

1:00:53

my dog has to have a smaller head,

1:00:55

Queenie's dog has to have a smaller head

1:00:57

too. But then the question is, do you

1:00:59

this woman who specifically grew her dog's hair

1:01:02

out? Do you think it's more important to

1:01:04

her for them to match or

1:01:06

for the circle to be as big as

1:01:08

possible? That's the question du jour. I

1:01:12

mean, I'm not familiar with AKC standards. I

1:01:14

don't know if it's like a specific length

1:01:17

for the shape of the Bijon Freezay

1:01:19

head to be the

1:01:22

sensible thing to do would be to call her and be

1:01:24

like, Hey, I know you're on your way. I just wanted

1:01:26

to ask, which is more

1:01:28

important to you size of roundness or

1:01:31

or exact matchiness because

1:01:34

we are so close to being finished. But

1:01:37

we just want to be sure that

1:01:39

we know your preferences. I love that. That's

1:01:41

not what's gonna happen here. No,

1:01:44

it isn't. Amber is like, she's

1:01:47

like, we're just gonna leave one of them bigger.

1:01:49

And the two of you are going to have

1:01:51

to work together to make this dog's head a

1:01:54

perfect circle in the time before this woman gets

1:01:56

here. No one is happy about

1:01:58

this. They are like both grumbling.

1:02:00

Dinah is so angry there's like steam

1:02:02

coming out of her ears like they're

1:02:04

furious. But they get this dog's

1:02:07

head made a smaller circle and they're

1:02:09

like fine it's done. They have

1:02:11

like five minutes left. Dinah

1:02:13

is so pissed. She's

1:02:16

like you did this on purpose to

1:02:18

Queenie and then she marches into

1:02:20

the back room all the dogs

1:02:22

are barking. The music is so high and

1:02:25

she unscrews the lids on

1:02:27

Queenie's shampoos and conditioners and dumps them

1:02:29

down the drain. Oh

1:02:33

wow that escalated

1:02:36

quickly. Queenie goes to the

1:02:38

army back there. She begins dumping

1:02:40

Dinah's celebrity dog products down the drain.

1:02:43

They are both yelling. That's less effective. She has

1:02:45

a sponsorship. She's gonna

1:02:47

just get more of that for free Queenie.

1:02:49

That is less effective. Do you intervene

1:02:51

and put

1:02:53

your body in between the

1:02:56

product wars? Yes

1:02:59

you intervened but only for the sake

1:03:01

the fact that the client is almost

1:03:03

there and this is not how we

1:03:06

behave at houndstooth. Amber is

1:03:08

watching. She's panicking. They are both

1:03:10

yelling. A lot of dogs are

1:03:13

barking because people are yelling. Queenie

1:03:15

is like accusing Dinah of cheating

1:03:17

at dog grooming. Dinah is accusing

1:03:19

Queenie of being low class. They're

1:03:21

getting closer and closer together and

1:03:24

Amber is like oh my god

1:03:26

are these grown women gonna fist

1:03:28

fight? That is deranged. As

1:03:31

this is happening Savannah headphones in

1:03:33

comes in with her little golden

1:03:36

retriever puts it in the bath.

1:03:38

They're yelling at each other. Savannah turns

1:03:40

the water on. She turns around.

1:03:42

She takes her headphones out. She's um hey

1:03:45

sorry to interrupt. Where's the shampoo?

1:03:49

And they're all like what?

1:03:52

What? You don't

1:03:54

have your own Savannah? Mm-hmm.

1:03:58

You don't have your own shampoo? You think there's

1:04:00

a communal shampoo, Savannah, after all

1:04:02

these weeks. Mm-hmm. They're like,

1:04:04

what do you mean? And Savannah's like, oh, there's

1:04:06

no shampoo here. Like, how am I supposed to

1:04:09

wash the dog? And

1:04:11

Amber's like, what shampoo have you been

1:04:13

using? And then Savannah

1:04:15

is like, oh, you know, whichever one's

1:04:17

usually in here. And she

1:04:19

picks up Queenie's bottle off

1:04:22

the floor. I wish I

1:04:24

had said something. I have been wondering whether

1:04:26

Little Quiet Savannah has been the culprit this

1:04:29

whole time. But I'm like, you

1:04:31

know, we're just gonna

1:04:33

let that lie. You know what? Because Savannah is

1:04:35

over there minding her own business. And you know

1:04:37

what? Let her do her thing. Amber

1:04:40

is like, oh my

1:04:42

God, this is great news. This

1:04:44

whole feud was a big misunderstanding.

1:04:47

She's like, Queenie and Dinah, isn't this

1:04:49

so funny? It was Savannah.

1:04:53

Savannah has moved on. She has her headphones in. She's

1:04:55

shampooing the dog. She's oblivious. Amber's

1:04:57

like, the two of you can chill out

1:04:59

now. Like, your feud was based on nothing.

1:05:02

And Dinah's like, what

1:05:04

are you talking about? And

1:05:07

Amber's like, Queenie thought that you

1:05:09

were stealing her conditioner. And

1:05:12

Dinah's like, why would I steal her cheap

1:05:14

conditioner? And Queenie

1:05:16

is like, you're a bitch. And now they are

1:05:19

like really fighting. Oh

1:05:22

no. Oh no. So

1:05:28

just to backtrack, it appears that Queenie

1:05:30

has never actually told Dinah what the

1:05:32

issue is. Just let this build up

1:05:35

until it became this absolute

1:05:39

toxic cesspool that it has

1:05:41

become. Wow,

1:05:45

wow, wow, wow. Going back to the

1:05:47

beginnings. Turns out Amber had a great

1:05:49

idea by talking and speaking up instead

1:05:51

of letting things sit. The fancy lady will be

1:05:54

here at any minute. Your two dog rumors

1:05:56

are screaming at each other. How

1:05:58

do you get them to stop? grab

1:06:01

the squeaky toys squeaky squeaky cool distract

1:06:03

them ever grabs the like nozzle

1:06:05

and sprays water at their

1:06:08

feet they both

1:06:10

shriek and

1:06:13

she's like listen to me you have to stop like

1:06:15

the fancy lady is gonna be here at any minute

1:06:17

and when she gets here we need a explanation

1:06:20

for why one of these dogs has a

1:06:22

smaller head than the other Queenie

1:06:27

and Diana are like well what are you gonna tell her and

1:06:30

Queenie is like Dinah did this Dinah's

1:06:33

dog is the one with the smaller head and

1:06:35

Dinah's like you literally hit

1:06:37

me and Queenie

1:06:39

is like but my dog looks perfect both

1:06:44

excellent point however not

1:06:46

the fancy lady's problem yes and

1:06:48

Amber also knows that the fancy lady

1:06:50

all fancy rich ladies want there to

1:06:52

be a consequence for

1:06:55

any problem that they face so

1:06:57

she is like I'm gonna have to

1:06:59

blame someone probably I'm

1:07:01

gonna have to tell this woman that

1:07:03

someone's head rolled for this so

1:07:07

she's like Queenie fucked

1:07:09

up Dinah's dog but it was an accident but

1:07:12

if I get rid

1:07:15

of Queenie Dinah only

1:07:17

does like one dog a day but

1:07:20

if I get rid of Dinah I

1:07:23

lose like the prestige of the

1:07:25

shop right what do you think I

1:07:29

think that you take firing off the

1:07:31

table like heads will roll like I

1:07:34

get that in theory like

1:07:36

fancy lady understands money you

1:07:40

might be able to appease her

1:07:42

by offering like we're only going

1:07:45

to charge you for the perfect

1:07:47

dog which huge blow and then

1:07:50

you have to determine though who gets

1:07:52

what tip and what payout from that

1:07:54

day and

1:07:56

honestly the best solution

1:07:58

might just be You

1:08:00

know what? In honor of both of

1:08:03

you keeping your jobs after being so

1:08:05

unprofessional, Amber keeps some money. Amber

1:08:08

keeps some money, sends them home, they come

1:08:10

back, start fresh the next day, and

1:08:13

that is the solution I propose. Yes. Amber

1:08:16

is like, both of you go home.

1:08:18

Like, I don't want you here when

1:08:20

this fancy lady arrives and I will take

1:08:22

care of it. The

1:08:25

fancy lady shows up. Amber's like,

1:08:27

here are your dogs. Aren't they

1:08:29

so beautiful? And the fancy lady

1:08:31

is like, they are beautiful, but

1:08:33

isn't that one a little bit

1:08:35

smaller? And Amber is like, is it? Roll

1:08:40

for bluff, Amber. Roll for bluff. And the woman's

1:08:42

like, I want the littler one for free. There

1:08:45

you go. And Amber's like,

1:08:48

okay. Sure. The

1:08:50

littler one is now free.

1:08:53

And the woman's like, okay, thank

1:08:55

you. But then she does that thing where she's like,

1:08:57

can I speak to the manager? I am

1:09:00

the manager. And Amber's like, I am the manager. And

1:09:02

then this woman lays into her. And

1:09:05

she's like, what are you going to

1:09:07

do about this? Like this place is poorly run. And

1:09:10

Amber is like, I'm so sorry, we'll

1:09:12

do better next time. This

1:09:14

woman leaves. And then Amber calls the

1:09:16

owner. And she's

1:09:18

like, I quit. Yes,

1:09:23

yes, take the money and

1:09:25

run. She's like, goodbye. And she

1:09:29

quits the houndstooth salon forever.

1:09:32

We are at the end. How do you feel?

1:09:34

Whose side are you on?

1:09:36

Let's debrief. I

1:09:40

am clearly still on Amber's side.

1:09:42

Like Amber has done nothing wrong

1:09:44

in this entire story. Bless

1:09:47

her for doing her best

1:09:49

under physical circumstances. And also

1:09:52

surprisingly, I am still

1:09:54

on Savannah's side. Like, I

1:09:57

know, like she's just there doing her job, putting

1:09:59

in her hours, the fact that no

1:10:01

one told her that you have to

1:10:03

bring in your own product to use

1:10:05

on these dogs is clearly

1:10:08

someone's fault. Do

1:10:10

you want my final updates? Of

1:10:12

course I do. My final updates

1:10:14

are Amber did move on.

1:10:17

She got a new job. She's doing

1:10:19

fine. Great. Queenie,

1:10:21

like a couple days after this incident,

1:10:23

remembered very vaguely that the first week

1:10:25

that Savannah started, she was like, of

1:10:27

course you can use my products.

1:10:29

No problem. Wow,

1:10:35

that 65 year old memory really came

1:10:37

back to bite her in the end. Within

1:10:40

the next two weeks, Queenie,

1:10:44

Dinah, and Savannah all quit.

1:10:48

The houndstooth is toothless. The houndstooth

1:10:51

closed. Wow. Wow.

1:10:55

Because there were no employees left

1:10:57

and no prestige. Yeah. Zero

1:11:00

prestige. Oh wow. The

1:11:02

owner is out. So much

1:11:04

dog money. Yes. And it's

1:11:06

a shame that the houndstooth salon

1:11:08

doesn't exist anymore because the fancy

1:11:11

lady's dog won. Big head or small

1:11:13

head? Small head. Ah.

1:11:15

What? Oh, my heart

1:11:17

is racing right now. Wow.

1:11:36

Wow. Wow.

1:11:40

Every dog has its day no matter the size of its

1:11:42

fluffy head. Hey,

1:11:48

thank you so much for coming on the show. It

1:11:50

was a delight to have you. Kelsey,

1:11:53

the pleasure was all mine.

1:11:55

I am so happy right

1:11:57

now for everyone involved. Thank

1:12:04

you for listening to Normal Gossip. If

1:12:06

you have a gossip story to share with

1:12:09

us, email us at normalgossip at thedictor.com or

1:12:12

you can leave us a voicemail at 2679-GOSSIP. If

1:12:16

you love this podcast and want us to keep making

1:12:18

it, become a friend or a friend of a friend

1:12:21

at supportnormalgossip.com. You

1:12:23

can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok

1:12:26

at normalgossip. You can

1:12:28

follow Kelsey on all social media at

1:12:30

at McKinney Kelsey. This

1:12:32

podcast was produced by Alex Sirjohn-Loughlin.

1:12:35

Justin Ellis is Defector's project editor.

1:12:38

Jasper Wang and Sean Poon are Defector's

1:12:40

business guides. Tom Wei is

1:12:42

our editor-in-chief. J.Tolviera

1:12:44

is our associate producer. Abigail

1:12:46

Siegel is our intern. Jan

1:12:49

McQuade runs our merch store, which you can

1:12:51

find at normalgossip.store. Tara

1:12:53

Takogi designed our show art. Thanks

1:12:56

to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector

1:12:58

Media is a collectively owned, subscriber-based

1:13:00

media company. Normal

1:13:02

Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopion.

1:13:05

Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm

1:13:08

Emma, and remember, you did not hear

1:13:10

this from me. Radiotopion.

1:13:29

From PRX.