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Welcome to Bedtime Stories

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for Grown Ups, in

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which nothing much happens. You

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feel good, and then you

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fall asleep. I'm

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Katherine Nicolai. I

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write and read all the stories

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you hear on nothing much happens.

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Audio engineering is by Bob Wittersheim.

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My book, also called Nothing

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Much Happens, is available

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wherever books are sold. Thank

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you for your support. Now

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let me explain how to use this

0:39

podcast. When

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left to its own devices, your

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mind will wander endlessly, rehashing

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and what-if-ing into the wee

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hours. We

0:53

need to give it a soft place to land.

0:57

That's what the story is. And

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once the mind settles, your nervous

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system can switch over

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into rest and digest mode,

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and you'll sleep. All

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you need to do is follow along with

1:14

the sound of my voice and

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the simple shape of the story. I'll

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read the story twice, and

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I'll go a little slower the second time through. If

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you find yourself awake in the middle of the night,

1:31

you could listen again, or just

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think your way back through any part of

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the story that you can remember. Especially

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any detail that felt particularly

1:41

cozy to you. It'll

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reroute your mind back to the landing

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spot. And

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before you know it, you'll be

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waking up tomorrow, feeling

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refreshed and rested. Our

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story this time is about you. This week is called The

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Hardware Store, and

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it's a story about finding all the

2:06

right things for a few projects

2:08

at home. It's

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also about stacks of fresh sawn wood,

2:14

a packet of peanut butter cups, and

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the ride home with the window down.

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It's time to turn off the light. Set

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aside anything you've been working on or

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looking at. Snuggle

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down into your sheets and

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get as comfortable as you can. You

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are about to fall asleep, and

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you'll sleep deeply all night.

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Take a slow breath in through your

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nose and

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sigh it out of your mouth. Again,

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breathe in and

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out. Good.

3:15

The hardware store. The

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gate into the back garden was

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squeaking on its hinges. I'd

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noticed it today when I

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pushed through it with my dogs at my

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heels on our

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way to the vegetable patch. I

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stopped for a moment, working the

3:39

gate back and forth on its hinges

3:43

to see if a little bit of movement would

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clear the stickiness out. After

3:50

all, that usually works

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for me. The

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gate was a lovely, smooth piece

3:58

of walnut. I'd

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planed it myself and

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hung it with wrought iron fittings

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that latched smoothly into place. The

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squeak persisted. It

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would need a bit of oil, and

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today seemed a good day to tend to it. I

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had a little list of projects, and

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I added the gate to it. There

4:31

was the slow drip from the kitchen

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faucet, the

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slightly crooked shelf in the closet

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that just needed a shim to

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even it out, and

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the split in the leg of one of the

4:47

kitchen chairs that

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could be set right with a bit of wood glue.

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I scratched out a list of needful

4:57

things with paper and pencil, and

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grabbed my car keys from the counter. I

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was headed to the hardware store. Hardware

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stores are long places, with

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shelves reaching back for

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miles, and

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that unmistakable smell that somehow

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manages to be on the

5:26

clean side of dusty. All

5:32

hardware stores have it. They

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are almost always dark and

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cool, even

5:41

on the hottest days. And

5:45

for those who like to build and

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mend and take

5:49

things apart just to put them back together,

5:54

they are as much a place to meet and

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discuss as

5:59

they are to shop. and to buy. In

6:05

fact, there was a small group of people

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standing in a loose circle at the front door,

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sipping coffee from paper cups, and

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talking about which tools were the best

6:18

for a particular job. I

6:22

smiled as I walked past them, eavesdropping

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on their strong opinions. It

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reminded me of folks who live in

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big cities, who

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like to debate the best way to get

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from one side of town to another. Which

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subway or bus or

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secret one-way street to turn down? We,

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each of us, like to

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be the masters of some particular thing

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or other. It

6:58

keeps us learning. I

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took my list from my pocket and

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ran my finger down the items. I

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needed oil for the gate, glue

7:14

and shims and a few odds and

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ends. I

7:20

wandered up and down the aisles. I

7:23

liked looking at the boxes and

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boxes of screws and bolts

7:28

and fittings lined up neatly,

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each one made precisely to be

7:34

just the same as its fellows, and

7:39

just one size up or down from

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its neighbors on either side. I

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passed some time, picking

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through some woodworking tools, working

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out for myself how they

7:53

were used, and deciding

7:55

if I should add them to my collection.

8:01

In the back of the store were

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tall stacks of freshly cut wood that

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had its own lovely warm smell.

8:11

There were shavings and sawdust on the floor,

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and it made

8:15

me eager to make something in my

8:17

workshop at home. I

8:21

pushed through the swinging doors that led out

8:23

to the garden center. The

8:27

air was suddenly warm and

8:29

a little thick, smelling

8:32

sweetly of flowers and soil and

8:34

mulch. There

8:38

were more long rows to stroll through.

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These were made of stacks of cinder

8:44

blocks and plywood. Every

8:49

inch covered in flats of perennials

8:51

and annuals and pots of

8:53

herbs. There

8:58

was a huge, healthy

9:00

split-leaf philodendron who

9:03

had just unfurled a

9:06

brand new waxy pale green

9:08

leaf into the world. I

9:13

stopped to touch the new leaf, to

9:16

marvel at the veins and the softness.

9:22

When it comes down to it, actually

9:25

hugging a tree is usually

9:29

a scratchy, unpleasant experience.

9:34

But reaching out to touch a leaf or

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petal or

9:39

to lay an open hand on bark or

9:42

fruit, it

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feels very much like saying hello. There

9:51

were tall fiddle figs and

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spiky arborvitis and

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a sea of purple flocks. Have

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you ever noticed how lovely plant names

10:04

are? Rhododendron

10:08

and Forsythia, Wisteria

10:11

and Creeping Clamatus, Primrose

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and Aster and Colius

10:18

and Common Perslane? My

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arms were filling up, and

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soon I turned back into the shop and

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headed to the counter, with

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everything I needed and a

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few things that I didn't, but

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was getting anyway. The

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man behind the register had owned this

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store as far back as I could

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remember, and he'd

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often helped me work out a plan for

10:48

whatever project I had in mind. He

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laid everything from my basket out

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on the counter and

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had a good look at it all before he began to

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ring it up. You've

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got something loose, something

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squeaky, and something

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crooked, am I right? We

11:13

always played this game. Don't

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we all? I said with a laugh. But

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enough, he agreed. As

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he packed my purchases into deep

11:26

paper sacks, I

11:28

squatted down to look at the shelves

11:30

of candy bars and packets of gum

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and mints. Hardware

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stores always have lots and lots

11:39

of candy to fortify

11:41

you after all your hard work with

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something sweet. I

11:48

added a pack of peanut butter cups to the

11:50

counter and paid

11:52

for it all and carried my sacks out

11:54

to the car. On

11:58

the drive home, I was I

18:02

needed oil for the gate, glue

18:05

and shims and a

18:08

few odds and ends. I

18:12

wandered up and down the aisles. I

18:19

liked looking at the boxes and

18:21

boxes of screws and

18:23

bolts and fittings lined

18:26

up neatly. Each

18:30

one made precisely to be just

18:32

the same as its fellows and

18:36

just one size up or

18:38

down from its neighbors on either side.

18:45

I passed some time picking

18:48

through some woodworking tools, working

18:52

out for myself how

18:54

they were used and

18:58

deciding if I should add them to my

19:00

collection. In

19:05

the back of the store were

19:07

tall stacks of freshly cut

19:09

wood that had

19:11

its own lovely warm smell.

19:17

There were shavings and sawdust on the

19:19

floor and it

19:22

made me eager to make something in

19:24

my workshop at home. I

19:30

pushed through the swinging doors that

19:33

led out to the garden center. The

19:37

air was suddenly warm and a

19:41

little thick, smelling

19:43

sweetly of flowers and

19:46

soil and mulch. There

19:52

were long rows to stroll through. These

19:56

were made of stacks of cinder blocks and

19:59

plywood. Every

20:02

inch covered in flats of

20:04

perennials and annuals and

20:07

pots of herbs. There

20:13

was a huge split leaf philodendron

20:20

who had just unfurled a brand

20:22

new waxy pale green

20:24

leaf into the world. I

20:30

stopped to touch the new leaf, to

20:34

marvel at the veins and

20:37

the softness. When

20:42

it comes down to it, actually

20:44

hugging a tree is usually

20:47

a scratchy, unpleasant

20:49

experience. But

20:54

reaching out to touch a leaf or

20:57

petal or

20:59

to lay an open hand on

21:01

bark or fruit, it

21:06

feels very much like saying hello. There

21:13

were tall fiddle figs and

21:16

spiky arborvites and

21:19

a sea of purple flocks. Have

21:25

you ever noticed how lovely

21:27

plant names are? Rhododendron

21:33

and Forsythia. Wisteria

21:37

and Creeping Clomatus. Primrose

21:41

and Aster and Coleus

21:44

and Common Perslane. My

21:50

arms were filling up and

21:53

soon I turned back into the shop

21:57

and headed to the counter with everything

21:59

I needed.