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You don't have skipped before he started

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his part. Guess I'm really excited. This

0:29

is a personal exciting thing for me.

0:31

I wanted to quickly let you guys

0:34

know about my upcoming off the Vine

0:36

to are called poor Decisions p o

0:38

you are doing wine will be drank

0:40

I back on the road for the

0:42

first leg of our tour. I'm coming

0:44

through the good old mid west for

0:46

the second half I'll be headed to

0:48

the South East. So going: Columbus, Cleveland,

0:51

Ohio, Atlanta, Madison, Des, Moines, Kansas City,

0:53

Columbia, Missouri It Tampa, Orlando, Nashville, A

0:55

Covering. All you Beautiful People! These podcast

0:57

tours are always a highlight of my

0:59

year because there's no other way to

1:01

put it than it's pretty damn fun.

1:03

I get to hang out with you

1:05

in person. It's just that energy is

1:07

electric. I've it's It's just insane unplugged.

1:09

Leaving those live podcast. I'm like whoa

1:11

That felt like it. Empowerment session. I

1:13

feel elevated. The vibrations don't get me

1:15

started on how high those are, so

1:17

check out my website Caitlin bristow.com to

1:20

buy tickets for those who joined me.

1:22

I can guarantee a little dancing, a

1:24

lot of laughing, wine, lots. Of wine.

1:27

Or even if you're pregnant I got pregnant. Sober

1:29

people come to my shows a it was still

1:31

find they bring their boyfriends, their husbands and I

1:33

even see them smile on at the end of

1:35

it. So let's toast to that. L C On

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years to math is Steven Wright. is

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it as your new job? For government

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owned the other foot government my social

2:33

security number. So I'm. Caitlin, Don Bristol

2:35

and welcome to Off the Vine

2:37

Podcast. Do

2:39

like then. I didn't light of my of my

2:42

asthma. Oh. Other your to say uncle. Although

2:44

the I know what all goes on know my

2:46

Aunt Door I. Had an uncle Dawn and then when

2:48

I was growing up I used to hate my middle name

2:50

because do you ever watchful house I you miss the i

2:52

have four year like know I'm more of a fuller has

2:54

that of your baby. See a watchful or

2:57

oh, now you're myself to watch it.

2:59

Why this is not the same Again,

3:01

a reboot. Everything's on necessary. I

3:03

get it. But when I watched

3:06

stephanie. We both follow

3:08

on. Instagram Gfp Tanner: Yes she came

3:10

on my podcast you and I remember

3:12

her making fun of the name Dawn

3:14

and scarred me know because she wanted

3:16

to change her name is Dawn and

3:18

I was like. Guess. Says

3:20

Tanner and yeah, Dawns a cool name

3:22

and and. All her friends

3:24

and family said oh you know one and

3:27

be called Dawn Still people to call you

3:29

Donald Duck and go down. Did it on did

3:31

it on dawned on and I was like. I

3:33

hate my middle name. What? I mean same

3:35

way of a way that they will totally

3:37

weird his name. See mean doneness unlike

3:40

our the gears as fetus loving.

3:42

Well. I mean you don't, preferably your name. It

3:44

really does detergent. Well. Oh

3:47

don year. Of why did it take so

3:49

long to land with. Me that I was like a

3:51

citizen of us so oh dear cel was still

3:54

do our own dishes. oh. Come. On

3:56

you and more more than me that you. Have a

3:58

narcissist. However, that

4:00

a business. This is what we need

4:02

to talk about Glenda Sinclair over here. Ladies

4:04

and gentleman, She's in my podcast producer for

4:07

a few years and she just casually showed

4:09

up in this outfit and I was like

4:11

they're gonna hit and she's a gets another

4:13

get so we're not gonna acknowledge there's like

4:15

what's going on She was like oh yes

4:18

Mrs. Would. I was wearing whatever and

4:20

then it was a whole thing which we couldn't

4:22

you couldn't Gilad a character for a second and

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Billie Said tells the story. Yes

4:27

as exit young get. Seats

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filled. My son Paul. Yes

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this is our fight even know the

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story of what it actually is Where

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didn't have the me honor and we

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did a virulent that each. Of us

4:43

really a country. him and I was Italy.

4:45

And. So I sort of in this with a

4:48

month ssssss. Do you know what I would have

4:50

a how I would dress up as a country.

4:53

I. Would have just been a tree with a bunch a

4:55

naked ladies. Which.

4:58

Ones you would you have been current tree.

5:01

Was bunch. Of vagina is in

5:03

a tree. Wow. I'm

5:06

so gruesome, serviceable would love deliver a

5:08

fucking such a bad riot worst Keebler

5:11

else development of off of I tell

5:13

my god I'm treatment very good right?

5:15

I lied to us were very well

5:17

now I'm Tina Habit has merchant we

5:19

suit of that is Mario's a little

5:22

air fresheners the hang of we will

5:24

True. Wow. Dude or a city

5:26

ten percent to this good. I have seen.

5:28

Oh wow that Louis guy gets. Ten million

5:30

followers on Take Dog and also anything cigar to

5:32

has even. that are going to pan of

5:35

with the dog would have called Rose Vagina

5:37

Candle Company will come over the sense that

5:39

need another really get luxuries. That's good though.

5:41

I should do. March around country He wrote

5:43

that's gonna be a thing now All

5:45

vagina rumors from the So Speaking of

5:47

vagina, some. Girls.

5:50

Love you. The lady I

5:52

love. This is true to

5:54

laugh because she's England A mode an assistant.

5:57

Professor especially with Emma.

6:00

some programs as a loud

6:02

lorries saw her. Our

6:05

guys. Okay, so what happened at your cell last

6:07

night? Oh My. Job. It was the

6:09

most entertaining thing we've ever experienced.

6:11

We were laughing at seventy different

6:13

things that the thirty second lady

6:15

which turned into like bit was

6:18

but it but she really turned

6:20

it into a bit like. More

6:22

you mean by force Us forces her

6:24

former zero. Start to they don't remember

6:26

she was saying something about you or do

6:28

some bowling ball thing about. We were on

6:30

your boyfriend or husband. Less says his

6:32

you are hundred forearms yeah you're right

6:34

Harness the wake of a nice little

6:36

for with you when bowling for eight

6:38

hours. The My For and see chimed

6:41

in and is on. There was like

6:43

doesn't say well on every woman in

6:45

his room. Cucumbers. Thirty seconds and Mrs

6:47

became with a because that's just not

6:49

true in if it is your the

6:51

problem I'm saying that is thirty seconds.

6:54

I my last allied wouldn't lie lotta lot

6:56

of the times that when you said but

6:58

you Domino's pizza like lava do in thirty

7:00

minutes or let us. That I'm er,

7:02

stress, more like is not Vine Levies,

7:04

it's it's. Own

7:07

all the Blind mob? Yeah, you can do.

7:09

You have to take your time. I scared

7:11

to tuck went away. I

7:15

mean your enthusiasm around in no matter what.

7:17

By now the followers. Of started to kind

7:19

of converts other platforms now all also

7:21

look I'm the schools are ridiculous but

7:24

i start or this none of that

7:26

now that I the officer that outside

7:28

our our gray okay I wish also

7:30

some me with the severe really I

7:32

really I really wish it wasn't just

7:34

absolutely horrible. He was also some media would

7:36

go. As yeah I think he does for.

7:39

Strictly mental health purposes

7:41

or. Our as they get what. I

7:43

mean less of a broader landscape of

7:45

a big yard blasting so submitted as

7:47

way more bad. As good as they

7:49

get makes people worse. Yeah, people miss

7:51

out on human interactions. Last, everything a

7:53

person says better. I'm in this. This

7:55

podcast almost happen on Zoom. I'm I'm

7:57

glad it didn't I'm really glad it.

8:00

The more one. I'm really glad it didn't and

8:02

I had. The city is set up as at an

8:04

Air Bnb huge city. Why I find. Interesting.

8:06

Okay, see us all. Social media would disappear.

8:09

Do you think it's a stressful in a

8:11

stressful? I definitely agree with you. it's stressful.

8:13

I love it though because I was thinking

8:15

about this even for you. You.

8:19

Couldn't. Do this comedy special or even

8:21

just a tick tock and reach

8:23

millions of people which would never

8:25

best. like how many stadiums like

8:27

Nsl stadiums of people that you

8:29

get to reach and make people.

8:31

Last year. You piss

8:33

in a lot of people off because that's what we

8:35

do have. We have a platform with this people off

8:37

and we may more of a happy. There's always going

8:39

to be that duality of it, but I'm so you

8:41

didn't even care if the numbers when away, as long

8:43

as you could ski do what you love to do.

8:46

With. The sacrifice for millions of viewers

8:48

to be able to see. A

8:50

good thing I can put out as a sacrifice

8:53

for that is. Making. Sure, an

8:55

entire generation of people know that it's not

8:57

ok to talk to people certain way either.

8:59

Him mana behind a computer screen yeah I

9:01

would absolutely right about like social media from

9:04

people in the such. They

9:06

are. They really. Are and I like

9:08

that word. It's little bit they, they really

9:10

are, but what? But. Said.

9:12

You get a lot of trolls. Oh My

9:14

God has yet? Have you

9:16

been Women Love means whole

9:18

way more. Oh My. God.

9:21

Yes. Nothing. The world thing anyone's ever

9:23

said. You. Never

9:25

like one direct say, and ultimately

9:28

like it. Is. A registered can see

9:30

to the of. Oh My God. Yes if he

9:32

was on cancer me every. Day. I

9:34

met our time last week and he ate

9:36

the awesome. Is likely we're. We're. Now

9:38

is that pendulum is swinging back? What? Yeah,

9:41

people are tired of people getting cancel. I

9:43

agree. Unless you've done a horrific thing rise,

9:45

you're not get. You're not actually care for

9:47

cancelled mean. Not. That when

9:49

my Netflix subscription with as yes yes yes

9:51

that is available social media hey like the

9:53

right lag behind it I know Rise me.

9:56

And I know everything is the most dramatic version

9:58

of everything else he got. Rag on

10:00

the added oh did I see them? Will

10:02

come to my house, grabbed me by the

10:04

hair and ran down the pavement. Or a

10:07

very dramatic biggest people think they're powerful behind

10:09

the computer. Yeah, overly dramatic Words like that's

10:11

make him feel they have an impact on

10:13

something are doing when they're just. Lose

10:15

They really are losers. That's why I actually

10:18

have gotten to a place they talk about

10:20

some I I guess a lot where I

10:22

am most of the time. Love it. I

10:24

think isn't to sell funny like that because

10:27

there's such a loser is because they're so

10:29

ridiculous the things people say. Me: I actually

10:31

like. Linked up my system

10:33

of the quietest block. That Rosicky kidding

10:35

me this is hilarious. As a separate,

10:37

she always has to be like you're

10:39

disgusting. I don't recall any of that

10:42

in the beginning of the show. Last my

10:44

wife talk about the yes yes funny how

10:46

people can hate you for something and matter

10:48

what you did. Yes, the things they will

10:50

say about you in return are way worse than

10:52

what you did to upset them in the

10:54

first place. It's insane. I don't have you like

10:56

to repeat material but could you please explain or give

10:58

us a story? Because the when you said last night

11:00

was really. Funny own of your member farm at

11:02

there's kind of to stories the can buy one

11:05

of them is just like the first of my

11:07

assessment of Mr. Them memos argue with people on

11:09

Twitter over i can airplane experience right about that.

11:11

Yeah I was complaining about like this airline almost

11:13

every check my backpack when it really would wasn't

11:15

a problem or rates I didn't fully karen out

11:17

beyond me I was like this is an outrage

11:20

I just went on twitter or was like as

11:22

the stupid rule he writes in anybody who flies

11:24

relatively off the knows how inconsistent the rules on

11:26

a different never fly out and stuff. Yes when

11:28

I complained about this bag of people were like

11:30

so. Angry at me for just

11:32

complaining about my bag with people were giving

11:35

meet death threats like literally being like all

11:37

been a plane crash cause you're so one

11:39

grateful for being in first class and not

11:41

one to check your bag and all those

11:43

kind of Schiller. Like wait, I am. People

11:46

have an opinion. We go to Twitter Yeah,

11:48

that's what you really want. Is for as

11:50

what y'all live for. This says will lead roaring

11:52

You find. The municipal on twitter or tic toc

11:54

or you'd see where we. Are what is the

11:56

worst year them in metics litter should be Twitter

11:58

has to go first. Yeah. Beautiful meals are going

12:00

to disappear. Twitter the. Excess for clear

12:03

like up doing more strangers

12:05

find your shit. On. Twitter

12:07

Yeah, how sensitive is the most dramatic?

12:09

Instagram it's a talk is more based

12:11

on your content. I stare at swears.

12:14

just words. So very killed Twitter

12:16

Instagram ticked up. Killing Sweater.

12:19

A Cbs said aren't love Instagram either

12:21

as a business and unlike some right

12:23

mom's yeah, it's weird. I think I

12:26

have to marry Instagram though just for

12:28

the sustainability is where most their business

12:30

is done That sir And as tic

12:33

Toc is because for some reason my

12:35

for you page insist on there being

12:37

unlimited Babbage's on the internet. I don't

12:39

understand. I don't follow a secret from

12:42

she saw this in my entire aid

12:44

is just hot girl Outdoor hot really

12:46

is on limit. I'm gonna tell you.

12:50

Hurt your stock as I hate that there's

12:52

a lot of naturally beautiful people in the

12:54

entire worry I had what it is. This

12:56

just gives you access to all of them.

12:58

have one on one settling. It's gotta be

13:00

says I'm not in a relationship right? Yeah,

13:02

but I imagine it's gotta be tremendously hard

13:04

and respect. Have a temptation because you realize

13:06

yes I'm with a person I love I

13:08

care about in there are beautiful and I'm

13:10

attracted to them. Obvious rare but in you

13:12

like oh my god. Had no idea this

13:15

person. Is it a lot of at about

13:17

three hundred thousand other super hot people I

13:19

had no idea exist. In Israel like a

13:21

it's it's so hot it makes everybody seemed

13:23

so it. It makes everything seem so much

13:25

more vast. It's crazy. That's another good

13:27

point as to at like getting rid

13:29

of all social media, I feel like.

13:32

It's your. It's so like attainable to go

13:35

get all these. Oh yeah, especially in your

13:37

position. I saw the girl their last night.

13:39

Like everyone thinks they're going to kill every

13:41

one that wasn't the running just I can

13:43

not with this. That's the cutest thing I've

13:45

ever seen that materialize. Oh

13:49

my God. this is all over my

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for you pays to be services Iowa

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that? like annoying? It's you know I

17:26

that is people forget is still alive.

17:28

Performers show him as. I

17:30

have the option to make it interact as if

17:33

I want to be and. Other.

17:35

Than that in what other performers

17:37

based or or show would you

17:39

do is yell out some folks

17:41

re wouldn't go to handle sit

17:43

in the middle of your favorite

17:45

music number. Go Yeah ah ah

17:47

we were bloodshot thought. Oh

17:49

that's okay said it is same things as

17:52

year, same point. would you like that to

17:54

sit there for an hour and have people

17:56

dislike last and sailing club or would that

17:58

be weird for com. The show Miss You

18:01

know what? this is where becomes a little

18:03

bit tricky because. Both. Are

18:05

fun the the a different race to it

18:07

depends on what you want Like I'm I'm

18:09

in the process of building my new our

18:11

for my next special guess. I'm working on

18:13

material I'm doing out a new stuff to

18:15

like. I have to do this properly The

18:17

way I thought about to do it. yeah

18:19

with no interruptions, Yeah to see that works

18:21

and how it's going to work and how

18:23

can manipulate and changeup of an actual cat

18:25

so that keeps getting interrupted by stuff. I

18:28

never going to know how to. Properly.

18:30

Analyze that radio stuff. Sometimes sometimes I want chaos.

18:32

Yeah sounds. You do a show and you're like

18:34

less. Just have a good time with some good

18:37

crazy energy. Talk to some funny people. But the

18:39

problem is that gets outta control. You talk to

18:41

one person and everybody else. go. Always talking to

18:43

people that might or might or might or might.

18:46

Hold really and then exercise shouting out shit

18:48

where you're like i know what you're doing

18:50

and you're trying to get all my tic

18:52

toc real key as it's cel respectful what

18:54

you do as a stand up comedian and

18:56

it's cel brilliant but people obviously are there

18:58

to see you do. Your crowd work because it

19:00

has has several. I think that you feel like that

19:02

takes away from your like. What? You

19:04

love to do in your talent of doing

19:06

the actual stand up. Ah, a little. Bit

19:08

but you can't. You can't blame them entirely because

19:10

it's like if that's what they're used to see

19:13

as a big spec, you know. So it's like

19:15

the there's so many people coming to my shows

19:17

that have never been the comedy shows before. yeah

19:19

to they don't know who you're supposed to com,

19:21

just sit, laugh and listen bread else they get

19:23

company think it's a conversation the entire time. Some

19:26

I am so it's a i'll I don't mind

19:28

weaning men to like be was or to yell

19:30

out stuff or whatever. The first signs the

19:32

i ignore you I know. If. I'm and

19:34

asked if you know I heard you be awfully i

19:36

you know I heard I don't acknowledge you think there

19:39

should be your sign like oh he's not on lockdown

19:41

right now as a few very low not at all

19:43

is insanity It really is so like I don't mind

19:45

it but the thing is a good book because humans

19:47

A you're not going to force me yeah you're gonna

19:49

do it because you think you're going to end of

19:51

my tic toc or yeah or make the show about

19:53

see the the are not how it's gonna work and

19:56

to buy want to daughter us auto yes you would

19:58

think be a some people it's super the obvious the

20:00

are like oh yeah you're just you're trying to get

20:02

like thirty seconds of fame right now. Are you

20:04

know what I thought was brilliant I set

20:06

out? There should be. If I were

20:08

to ever do standup, I wouldn't hire people

20:10

and plant them in my fraud. and then

20:12

I would like had everything set up where

20:15

I just looked like this. A quick witted

20:17

genius that's. One of those controls they were things

20:19

as they on whether you as a job well

20:21

lf a planted person that the fake persona giving

20:23

idea but the coordination with a does look a

20:25

willful is almost every show it happens the camera

20:28

eating i have that many friends i thought organ

20:30

how they orioles. Yeah, I thought it

20:32

out because I was like that would actually

20:34

be impossible and you can't eat up. I.

20:36

Saw it firsthand. You're. Out, you're not doing a

20:39

obvious by. I was like that would be displayed

20:41

more work and need that are yeah, I are

20:43

people who pay them and yeah yeah, I can't

20:45

even afford an assistant. Other what I'm saying. Is

20:48

his approval out here our have that kind

20:50

of mob mentality? Yeah no I will have

20:52

this whole crew that gives us the poor

20:54

all my secret Hoover City. Oh. I

20:57

see a Mets as the I wanted was

21:00

favorite things because of as a yeah it

21:02

is I won his last. Night I thought oh

21:04

that would be a doubt that's what I would do

21:06

as. Will become that good of an actor. Three

21:08

subs they ought to be as ours. I'm in

21:10

the be that Fazli Good. It just comes naturally

21:12

sometimes. or sometimes it doesn't says you. I.

21:14

Know you said last night something about your

21:16

Excellency the So did You watch my season.

21:19

I did not. Okay, so Amy Schumer

21:21

was one of my dates and

21:23

and weird stand up. And

21:26

I was so good. Do

21:28

sir. Now I was good.

21:31

And. Then it's fine, Yes, I if

21:34

I could get there will see you

21:36

the judge. Of. Emphasis. Is

21:40

that I see taught me so much because

21:42

she goes were suitable to things and they

21:44

were really genius because he said either up

21:47

there and these guys already have you on

21:49

a pedestal like what your Id winning But

21:51

she said if anything does atlanta the spread

21:53

of a full. Proud to. Just.

21:55

Tell you, Tell everybody I told you to say

21:58

that's enough capacity of the and and then. So

22:00

do people it it was against me

22:02

and another girl to be the bachelor,

22:04

our and the guys had to decide,

22:06

oh, obviously, they chose me. Sure on

22:09

the dollar eating so dollars a

22:11

year. Of I didn't have to say obviously

22:13

So then she was like or just make fun

22:15

of bread and that was the other girl they

22:17

get. To the roast We have

22:19

a girl yeah so I would just like if

22:21

nothing minded think you're welcome. I would just

22:24

wrote her or blame Amy. I feel like

22:26

the roasted thing is funny, but it has

22:28

to come naturally. Oh. Of. Course you it you

22:30

feel when or sit will bank you is the

22:32

edge of me as you saw last night. not

22:34

all of it's funny sometimes you don't get some

22:37

big it's it's it's own company was idea I'm

22:39

not the same but you know as off you're

22:41

not gonna go bad or with everybody on mainly

22:43

company you talk to us you on podcast you

22:45

talk to some born people sometimes I i will

22:47

awesome they names at all produce now is going

22:50

to have up answer with the yeah you know

22:52

him it's every eyes the so different we added

22:54

your cent of the show What? What was the

22:56

audience was of the studio audience was it the

22:58

other contestants were railway. Audience you're performing for.

23:00

It was the guys. That I

23:02

was dating? Okay, how many? how many were there

23:05

are there? I think pen okay.

23:07

And then there was. Table

23:09

of comedians as well, then all

23:12

the producers and then. Of liver

23:14

they brought and I don't know that's not ideal.

23:16

I wanted another right now but not that would

23:18

now be hard for even meters. The

23:21

your audience for all my draw

23:24

an hour and in a steel

23:26

home I know he's an angel.

23:28

Ah I'm bigger audiences. it changes

23:30

every single time was make the

23:32

show so unique every single time

23:34

and. Did you just like come out of

23:36

the womb making jokes? Or is there something that he's

23:38

developed from? Been an ugly child? The definitely

23:41

trauma he or sure that we learn how to defend yourself

23:43

and jokes early enough for your bullied or something like by

23:45

your life will rather than a row seat hurts me A

23:47

lab I would make a joke about it now I'm on

23:49

their side as well you know and. Message us on

23:51

then, Mags? Yeah, I would. Not only am I

23:53

hot, I'm also funny and selling out. Wherever.

23:56

Your say on everywhere. Dogs. But

23:59

I was asked. People concerns on Instagram like

24:01

what we should ask you and they rely on

24:03

to allow Been an ugly kid and I myself

24:05

I had a bad. Vibe. All yeah I

24:07

was you really view but he hit me

24:09

so late night limbless twenty thirty I would

24:11

say was were around with Thomas are like

24:13

get a jaw line and like my cheeks

24:16

and shit like that in it happened so

24:18

drastically thousand for us try out our favorite

24:20

Tony. Blair like oh did it day.

24:22

By joining a massive plus explored

24:24

allow my a. Look. It

24:27

also feels that way to meet. I also could

24:29

I know what of Macgyver to near zero? We're

24:31

down to earth. I've had absolutely nothing is done

24:33

except for my teeth I got my teeth on

24:35

was the best as as lie on a mighty

24:37

to do not touch your tv of great she's.

24:40

This. Is A the Internet? Does it make see? I think

24:43

it's funny but really it's just a I. When I

24:45

know I needed the i had ohio T

24:47

T V was good idea to deflate picture

24:49

I gotta offense with a bunch of missing

24:51

boards I have to settle I had a

24:54

Dji a stay at a giant gap in

24:56

the middle or my teeth were much smaller

24:58

a gaps between a bunch of different while

25:00

the and i you know I about form

25:02

of my mouth i saw. A. Photo

25:05

of you from like back in the

25:07

day probably. And. Now that you see

25:09

the gap I'll have a gap in at it in my

25:11

yeah love. As busy girls will say that

25:13

cause it because it's like oh he has

25:15

a flaw almost always not perfect yet we

25:17

will slaughter so sense law my god knows

25:20

as that perfect people. Had

25:23

something wrong with me As soaps you are you have

25:25

like a little like would you like it like still

25:27

only got associates. Sissoko

25:30

terminal illnesses or que. Les

25:32

I've gotten plenty of Botox to fix

25:34

my flaws. the I have a a

25:36

character flaws but like I am a

25:38

ten but I had character and still

25:40

in and. Out. That

25:43

would even call for a fiber. Sit.

25:46

There and on. See you

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you that as a perfectionist when it comes

29:42

to like your stand up and are. You

29:44

the had like I think with everything

29:47

else. stand up. saw foot down my

29:49

looks as well. You are dick Morphy

29:51

a whole against us. If morphy I

29:53

saw my body dysmorphic. always more for

29:56

either of us. Moeen Ali A small

29:58

I think it's totally fine. In the

30:00

do joke about have been small the. Of evil

30:02

yeah I would route definitely would rather underplay

30:04

events of the be like a love got

30:07

a big zig and be boiler. You think

30:09

that it's argue that the dorm yeah generally

30:11

Donnelly it's set the bar lot of course.

30:13

Yeah also I watch porn so I i

30:16

i know how blue decks out big dick

30:18

get and I'm like well bless our boy

30:20

I bet they're not funny he doesn't have

30:22

an assessor not like charming in a good

30:25

burslem else is I feel bad as. The

30:27

itty bitty to the committee and like, get that I

30:29

I don't need big boobs. I've. Got. I've

30:31

got holidays says he says fan.

30:33

I got guy really Dc today I think.

30:36

If. We know that was a couple of that. I'll use

30:38

you for that way. I. Figure. Out what

30:40

is happening over there. Oh

30:42

I thought I heard a sound. Of a

30:44

road googling my dictates those with one

30:46

one. oh. I don't

30:48

want that camera got an so you.

30:52

Built a personality and humor did ilic. I

30:54

grew up in a really small town in

30:56

Alberta in Canada. would have liked a small

30:59

town and I always said that's where I

31:01

got my like like I was always kind

31:03

of use my imagination or like do crazy

31:05

things are like perform for my family that

31:07

I'd sing oh Canada before dinner delights. Why?

31:10

when I always. Wanted to like have

31:12

this stage. That's what you are The give me

31:14

a small town was that how you were. Laughing.

31:18

The dream was there yeah yes but like

31:21

it wasn't like a realistic same really. My

31:23

town's also very very small. we I'm one

31:25

stop light of my graduating class. Like fifty

31:28

people may I have had my mystery hundred

31:30

oh my god he of handling city without

31:32

thought cut it in fancy are very very

31:34

small There was this. really know. Like

31:37

there was, there was no outlet for as we

31:39

as just school friends or family when people were

31:41

like performs yeah I am. Figures that you were

31:44

just riot. I guess these people think

31:46

I'm funny so right I can be goofy. Do

31:48

they all think I'm funny so have the confidence?

31:50

Yeah I guess yes and then I'm as has

31:52

started stand up when I was like fifteen and

31:54

that I realize like I was a your business

31:56

kind of price moves as a hobby for a

31:58

while and co one thing led to another in

32:01

our wedding is what I wanna do and nobody

32:03

My family's ever going to college so I there

32:05

was no pressure nobody leave my hometown Everyone you

32:07

know you everyone was the same life they are

32:09

they get pregnant yeah then they graduate high school

32:11

for hims as they get a job working and

32:13

am yes pretty much as I. Always want

32:16

to know for you. Now.

32:20

That I say this. You. Know

32:22

your get lucky and I. Saw

32:26

I believe and I'm aware the

32:28

other people think so. Yeah, but

32:30

I think I'm fine. Okay, how

32:32

are you born on fun at

32:35

a fine. Like on I'm like scale

32:37

of one to ten. The think you're like a

32:39

hard sex. Soft. Feather. Oh

32:41

wow. effects of our Saw seven I

32:43

would mab dysmorphic the read all. we'd

32:46

all be very happy. A job at

32:48

the door slams. Ah I'm Suzie Looks

32:50

was I would say on up over

32:53

like. A.

32:55

Point Three may be a great yeah Think it's like

32:57

a dick slightly. Above average? maybe? Okay,

32:59

so because tens don't exist. Me

33:02

all was hands on existing the norm I'm

33:04

back amount of like seven always. Kissed Me,

33:06

temps don't exist and Nine is like Megan

33:09

Fox. She's on my vision. Board Adults and

33:11

I are the awesome butler's a ten. Harry.

33:13

Styles The Ten. Know

33:15

really? Do

33:18

that. Haven't got a moving haunted.

33:20

Oh you love those I'd to a why

33:23

do as your house haunted. Know

33:25

it's weird. We really. I

33:27

heard people. What?

33:32

Was. It the dogs. Is. The

33:34

camera so going or what's happening. And

33:37

my bad luck even goes with Ios

33:39

Seven. I say that don't even say

33:42

that was my biggest fear is that

33:44

they're following his. Yeah the be awful.

33:46

I'd love it. I. Love those!

33:48

I was like i hope when's following.

33:50

You know what? You're so vain. I did love

33:52

Eddie local music. watch me at all times on

33:54

the emblem of islam or my performing for somebody.

33:56

All that. Is it smoking? Why did

33:58

you see? Where is he. Many all

34:00

your vapor on it was that. Is

34:03

a little his. Eyes up. I

34:06

do a podcast of Saddam is so demanding. Yeah,

34:09

it's. It. Is but at

34:11

that the team. But.

34:13

I love it! Was awesome. The com for your

34:15

own home with want to go somewhere for. But I do. I go

34:18

to L A and New York all the to. Yeah

34:20

yesterday as their Yeah Mcgann mom and helps At least

34:22

the I can do while you're on the road. That's

34:24

my biggest problem. everyone wants to do one of them.

34:26

I died. I don't have the time or middle name

34:28

is it as a the every day I. Will I

34:30

didn't see some a mere about but I

34:33

one dancing with. The Sars you? What?

34:35

Yeah, I dead and trying to

34:37

do a podcast while dancing eight

34:39

hours a day was. Impossible.

34:42

Him and one is. A lion? What?

34:44

Yeah, that's incredible. Your was. It

34:46

And Twenty Twenty. Holy Shit.

34:49

recently. Yeah. Wow. Congratulations. Thank

34:51

you! Adapt mere ball in my mirror has been

34:53

there before a than one on the shelf and

34:55

I was night and I'm going met Patty Murray.

34:57

I am going to win the Mayor ball the

34:59

now looking back I'm like you. I know you

35:02

don't believe in crystals, bed and. No. Shirt

35:05

on. And but do you believe in

35:07

manifesting. Sometimes

35:10

sometimes you have. A

35:15

very was your hard. To ignore over there

35:17

but not are definitely. Not

35:21

scurry. Wow I didn't

35:24

even see their. Specific. On

35:28

this week. So you don't believe in

35:30

crystals that you do believe it manifests

35:32

in. I don't know.

35:34

Me crystals for sure not manifested. You

35:36

may be spurs like what is manifestly.

35:39

is it? the universe? Is it god

35:41

right? it's is your own energy like

35:43

I'd I don't I don't know. Maybe

35:46

like guys will member now. That I've

35:48

definitely had some things happen that. On. My

35:50

I've I've I said this to myself a million

35:52

times. He misses a subconsciously or something but will

35:54

be. I wanted Seattle but I would day to

35:57

day like the I Would Do doesn't do. This

35:59

image has. Edit It It did happen like five

36:01

that I talked about as so much that it did

36:03

happen and I guess or as a coincidence. No

36:05

no, no, I do believe in coincidences. I also, but why

36:07

should the U S of the put in the work to be in

36:10

a position for a mixture of things happen? I. Agree. So it's

36:12

and I don't believe in like. Like.

36:15

I don't think you're lucky, I think you deserve

36:17

any worked hard to get to where you been,

36:19

but I think you've actually envisioned your life a

36:21

certain way. and that's why you're here. Who

36:23

might not have envisions the social media

36:25

aspect of it? But having millions of

36:28

people last at your. Humor.

36:30

You have thought about that without even realizing

36:32

it for years since you were. Young.

36:35

Of. Of the bill a new

36:37

fellows authored, don't feel bad both of you

36:39

just envisioned eight inches. You will give it

36:42

a mere com for you if I'm a

36:44

big time. work through it disincentive ruff rather

36:46

for to for a dog or whatever you

36:49

as do put in a word, but I

36:51

ever has this little come true? I don't

36:53

I don't know. I'm. Not kidding. I think

36:55

you could grow larger penis for manifesting. I have

36:57

no way I'd I'd I do think there is

37:00

a way. I think I

37:02

it. I'll never forget. A

37:05

given given. City of He says

37:07

What? What? What did White Tiger? I

37:09

Jade? What Is the Courts? What? What

37:11

Was the Dick? Devos Serum? Know you

37:14

need. It's all of those. And.

37:16

Then you need to send. I'm

37:19

not even get a nice you tell you I'm a

37:21

psych over the stuff and we're making fun of us.

37:23

A Lisa, just get laughing at Me and England. Because

37:26

I was. That's really

37:28

sad, but. Know whether you manifested or

37:31

not. I think people also have to be

37:33

aware of light of be careful what you

37:35

wish for to the you might be hotel

37:37

or something but take tv for example you

37:39

get on a good on the the bachelor

37:41

right now bachelorette about I got on bachelor

37:43

and then I was the bachelor either one

37:45

of them you get on there and you

37:47

like was a dream come true and I

37:49

you have a flood of heat coming in

37:51

on twitter on the and so does some

37:53

downsides to the things you thought you wanted

37:55

to. maybe when you get some you go.

37:58

At it I didn't know. All this came the image

38:00

I didn't actually want this. I forget

38:02

who's quote. This is not my I think it might

38:05

it might be Joe Rogan Allied? I don't know sir

38:07

are. Wave and meant

38:09

to Joe Rogan and the camera

38:11

was like now we don't know

38:13

which toxic masculinity around Paris? Wow.

38:15

Cancel the battery. Farm

38:18

let it roll. if

38:23

that really getting fired added you manifest as

38:25

a didn't sleep leave manifest battery school that.

38:28

You is manifest seemed like in a bad way

38:30

where she was like please god don't let that

38:32

can forgot what you're putting it out into the

38:34

universe way the much and it turned good we

38:37

just letter writer and get. Letter

38:39

it so the quo was me a year.

38:41

m is very general quo and but like.

38:44

You. You've never had somebody who hates on he

38:46

was never doing better than you. Yeah. Of

38:49

Earth only some I've ever found myself talking shit

38:51

about somebody when I really thought about. I go.

38:53

I'm jealous of this person. He I know, I

38:55

am bird. They're doing something I'd rather be doing

38:57

him as that's why I feel this way. Yeah,

38:59

and Mosul be worth something people are aware of

39:01

Like that's why they don't like people. It's it's

39:03

his socks you know? yeah. But they're also that

39:05

helps you to know that once you realize that

39:07

the remember that like you. These are people. A

39:10

lotta times that are so. Miserable with

39:12

her life he added a see you live

39:14

the life they could only dream of as

39:16

a enemy. Take out that anger Id rather

39:18

than being supportive. Of it, right story. It

39:20

helps you share the love right back. Yeah,

39:22

I'm. Jealousy is so stupid. A

39:24

really is. I mean. It happens. Obviously it's.

39:26

Us because he a mean a lot of

39:28

art happy in their own lives. Yeah you

39:31

in. instinctual. Leads has

39:33

taken on somebody else. Yeah, it's not fair either.

39:35

One of you're not gonna help you get the

39:37

what you're going to in the first place sending

39:39

either one of us a mean tweets Gas changes

39:41

nothing for you in your life, right? That's the

39:43

worst part about maybe getting a giggle. Yeah, admittedly

39:46

now ago all this person's Sam, like all and

39:48

I use her have a totally worth of the

39:50

bill as lives that are you. You're saying mean

39:52

things to me and they're now. I have to

39:54

say them back to you and I'm going to

39:57

make you way sadder than you are in the

39:59

first place. Yeah, I'm. Not a clot

40:01

back. I'm moment like that in my dna. I'll

40:03

just. Sometimes. I have the

40:05

i'll pick and choose that sometimes when I get them

40:07

back it's I'm like. Oh

40:10

Lol So guides feel so good. it's

40:12

like it's so immature and petty. I

40:14

know some, but that's okay. Isn't that

40:16

some is so annoying? Abolish being professional

40:18

is your like and not produce. shouldn't

40:20

be saying these things back. People People

40:22

Love the go. Oh, you're you're a

40:24

celebrity or you're famous. Be the bigger

40:26

person. Take the high road enough. That

40:29

low road that a large than they deserve

40:31

to get. Their feelings are just as much

40:33

as I do. Same as that's insane. I

40:35

agree. I'm I'm petty like that to

40:37

l Absolutely. And I'd I'd not. Like

40:40

us when they go high or when they go

40:42

low you the highlights know not all meet them.

40:44

Where they are Absolutely. And

40:46

I will go just as low as not. Lower.

40:49

Oh you don't really get about as yeah.

40:51

It'll give you the you're gonna roast me

40:53

he he You sovereign know why you're here.

40:55

You're what I'm gradually. a bath, explicit or

40:57

I fail All yeah, I'll I'll hurt your

40:59

feelings. Are you know they. Did. You

41:01

expect this kind of success? or

41:04

is it like completely shot into.

41:06

While be shocking, really incredibly it and you

41:08

know I'd it's been a rollercoaster of a

41:10

doing for so long as I started a

41:12

fifteen and Twenty seven now. And one thing the

41:14

me or but I wish people didn't talmud. I

41:17

know they were saying a nice thing but it

41:19

is almost subconscious damage to me. like having a

41:21

realize knowledge fifteen sixteen, seventeen I was are like

41:23

doing well yeah than they ever will come to

41:26

new merely this kid and the scene or whatever

41:28

and everyone was the same saying we all made.

41:30

You can be so famously if you're not

41:32

millionaire by Twenty five well known as you

41:34

saw six and I was not a. Millionaire

41:36

for twenty five, One five at all. They.

41:39

Did. I got riot like did I miss the

41:41

window for success with everybody thought I was gonna

41:43

have done and that definitely like brings you down

41:45

and will become a very so causes you feel

41:47

a little bit like a failure like that I

41:50

miss an opportunity and then. That. A

41:52

certain point but the and that actually needed to

41:54

happen. He had a brought me down to such

41:56

a level of like. Get

41:58

yeah? Well I'd ask. the. Oh, opportunities

42:00

were coming and it was completely on

42:02

me to make something happen or not.

42:04

And reluctantly. I. Did.

42:07

I mean it is self produced your

42:09

comedy show which is impressive. Yeah. Thank you

42:11

thank you Yeah, both both of the first ones that

42:13

we're both both of them we did. He. Did.

42:15

You get in trouble for having only

42:17

sounds name. Know So what's funny

42:19

is I I thought the name only fans

42:22

of for marketing purposes obviously thank you for

42:24

it was also the it was also for

42:26

that because I've made it. For

42:28

my sands you may I like something on my

42:30

fans can't make it out to see my show.

42:32

That and I'd worked on this material for years.

42:35

I was tired of doing it away our want

42:37

to throw it away or stop doing it while

42:39

the I made it specifically for my fans and

42:41

it was also crowd funded. I haven't we raise

42:43

like twenty thousand dollars other to do it? May

42:45

I didn't expect any Sir Alex, Let's see they

42:47

really wants to support it. Yes, those made by

42:49

them and for them. So the title made sense.

42:51

Yeah, so it was on you tube for like.

42:54

Oh. God probably eight or nine months. I

42:56

get an email from only fans and I

42:58

just saw like bear like official email server

43:01

I thought for sure as you might see

43:03

Isis you had a change or said immediately

43:05

but instead the really hate we love the

43:07

special. We'd love to work with you in

43:09

some capacity yes and I don't own it

43:11

now I have one for like three months

43:13

and then I asked yeah I can't do

43:15

a solid. Gretel. Repulsive. And

43:18

like some surplus sausages like some gym teachers and

43:20

solve any right now. Girls were testing a

43:22

turtle tell you. I is. That.

43:27

He was being me. okay. See

43:31

was be me so I had

43:33

to be meaner. Okay treats do

43:35

concepts to least solar system. This

43:39

was the same woman who was being rude

43:41

about the thirty second coming of thirty seconds.

43:44

He was they mullah guys like me can't

43:46

please a woman who oversaw have club back

43:48

and I about. I may have said some

43:50

are since I love that I'm brilliant and

43:52

cause I say Adam. We're.

43:55

Talking about a year and only dance.

43:57

Oh yes, it was in women.

44:01

All. Gay men really And

44:03

I gotta say is. That.

44:06

Times I wish I had no prize or

44:08

I didn't want any kind of a professional

44:10

career I could have made. Yeah, so much.

44:13

Money if I did everything people

44:15

requested been a doorknob. That's my

44:17

plan B, just. Offering tens

44:19

of thousands of dollars for dictates. Lol

44:22

My, I just can't do it. What

44:24

is he didn't have Dick Marsha We

44:26

to do it? No, it's not that

44:29

other. I've got some good angle dostum

44:31

stock photo via Pm on the road

44:33

or soy yes but. I

44:36

just saw my i i want a family some

44:38

say he said I'd rather and now be other

44:40

I've already sent so many for free himself my

44:42

list not have our you it. Have you

44:44

ever seen And Big Daddy? The

44:47

movies? Yeah yeah. In only put on. There.

44:50

Like sunglasses And then they can say

44:52

whatever they want. See her. Oh

44:55

boy I that you like Harry

44:57

Potter movies have what everything will

45:00

slit every lot of poor for

45:02

physics. Dot

45:04

C, S. Do you like but says. What?

45:07

Effect on on me or on them like

45:10

"see" like buzzers out how to live my

45:12

bottle been touched at all as that our

45:14

don't even go near. So the got at it

45:16

inspired me to as the said the that a

45:18

lot of guys that were ah. Yes I wondered

45:20

and dabbles are no to I but I

45:22

don't While at every girl fun I've ever

45:24

had is like to constantly trying to me

45:26

with her finger. really every girl that bad

45:29

ever dated delivery on there was no religion

45:31

orders as going to com so much harder

45:33

on my coming already feels so good he

45:35

i don't like the where we're at orange

45:37

the up the air and special needs it's

45:39

I don't need a suit of a hole

45:41

through the dry wall like I will you

45:43

walk for me I don't need as. I'm

45:47

okay. That

45:51

in yours sounds totally eyes

45:54

for we saw outer oh

45:56

yes. Studies.

46:02

That's what I do when I want to feel like

46:04

I could say something that I'd. Feel. Like

46:06

maybe look at league Glenda good zip.

46:09

See, I know there's no balls or

46:11

mommy bars on the loose. cannon. Rather

46:13

fire so that nobody works. With always

46:15

answer Laval bureau brett near new special know

46:17

me about it. Called Matthew Steven

46:19

Wright. And you Santa less. I had a million

46:21

views and like today's yeah. We're one point two

46:23

million had to to see sources in. You would

46:25

now never know the internet brass. I know, I

46:27

know, I know, but you know if I

46:29

could save the world? Mental health issues Lye

46:31

by I respect that of oh it's rated

46:33

Attacks on great was insane. I am. I'm

46:36

not a fan of the internet as as I'm

46:38

sure you can sell was just it's amazing how

46:41

much you're like me I guess is. As

46:44

the silicate know you were time for this, but

46:46

I feel you didn't feel two things at once.

46:48

It's one of my favorite things to talk about.

46:50

You can be grateful for the internet and hadn't

46:52

the same time. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, it's I'm

46:54

I'm incredibly grateful for it. But now

46:57

it's like I I hope to get

46:59

to the level of success. Why don't

47:01

need it anymore? He: unless. Yeah,

47:03

I mean your five year plan is. That.

47:06

Film and television for sure. I mean

47:08

comedy always put out of him a

47:10

you transition. Five and ten years yield? everyone should

47:12

just actually has to for me. Or maybe someone could

47:14

run it for you. Say you don't have to even

47:17

touch it? You know that? That is offered to

47:19

me to this day, but I'm still and

47:21

with a school that ring a perfectionist or

47:23

yeah probably I'd like things posted a certain

47:25

way of I had no other. You can

47:27

train somebody or teach them how you like

47:29

things. dumbass. Still not exactly you, you know.

47:32

Where can people find your. In this

47:34

is it's on you tube. Ah yeah, the

47:36

newest I swear this is Rising.

47:38

Andrew Netflix? Nope, Nothing. Nothing. Honestly.

47:40

You to the school. I'm just getting into the you

47:42

tube space and I see people are resulting in love

47:44

with you. To the. Yes Goods Pros

47:47

and cons I have the conn is

47:49

probably like they're they're cracking down more

47:51

like sensitive content with soft they are

47:53

yes or no a other his mind

47:55

this the will grow we live in

47:57

unfortunately without ever want to be all

48:00

that more britain that arm was like

48:02

a being like the rebellion towards that

48:04

you are make is like most of

48:06

the population doesn't give a. Threat

48:08

or not offended by everything in the entire

48:11

world and not worry about every other person's

48:13

feelings about was a real person. I mean

48:15

point allo allo one person the population here

48:17

and like that I want to hear that

48:19

market even though it might have may not

48:22

be the most like. Publicly.

48:24

Friendly thing to advertise. I think

48:26

this is love it. Exactly. Like those fans are

48:28

still. there are so many people who are tired, awoke

48:30

politically correct comedy. it's like can we just say some

48:33

goofy she without people getting offended all the time and

48:35

you to was always been good for that yeah that

48:37

they're still the best for like it. It's so accessible

48:39

you know like if we have our share something with

48:41

your new to i just had to the lake

48:43

the and else a lot of Netflix the com a

48:46

lot of stuff so it's it's the most accessible. stabbed

48:48

a really good algorithm you own all your own content

48:50

you commoditize off of in everything. Yeah so Missile has

48:52

way more pros and cons on and are I'm hoping

48:55

they catch on to be will be like come up

48:57

with. Wonder that Israel. As everything was smart tvs

48:59

to though the com or yes where they

49:01

can just pull it up on it's like

49:03

watching in selling you have to watch. Out

49:05

for now though you couple of only temporary yeah

49:07

and so many people watch suit to I'd know

49:09

I'd I never wanted you to me either and

49:12

never on their. That so we decided to decide

49:14

to start doing it because of life lock People

49:16

love it. Oh yeah I couldn't believe I

49:18

think we're at like to half a million

49:20

subscribers on there now and I said I've

49:22

hosted by I have two videos it's to

49:25

specials on Maryland where the only videos I

49:27

have on there when I posted the first

49:29

and only fans I think I had twelve

49:31

thousand subscribers in. Two tiny

49:34

videos up Syria. Think that says something

49:36

about been super like, authentic and true

49:38

to yourself with like not given but

49:40

what people think you should be as

49:42

a comedian these days. Was think.

49:44

That's. Just kind of the potential productivity that comes

49:46

out a film with your rock bottom a guy. Mentally,

49:49

I will. I was such a point of like. It

49:51

I'm not worried about offending people amount of

49:54

fear. I'm not worried about adhering to a

49:56

certain like network. the I entered sorry for

49:58

my better than one already doesn't. The

50:00

media square miles. What is Delilah Zane?

50:02

What's the worst that could happen and

50:04

luckily of people found me like that

50:06

idea of. Yeah, I love that hired.

50:08

it gets loud it it makes sense and

50:10

gives me a little to help because I

50:12

think. Idol I love when people

50:14

can just say get on with do what I love

50:16

island or I'm gonna do what the out of care

50:18

what other people think of they're going to council me

50:21

or whatever. Oh yeah, because I think you'd get successor.

50:23

I'm been that way. Oh yeah, be industry

50:25

convinces you that lives. They

50:27

need you to be a certain way. I

50:29

for them to be the gatekeepers the having

50:31

any cause success in show business Yeah and

50:33

that's not true at all the at the

50:35

Us for years I was like dude of

50:37

mine not talents and hostage again fans are

50:39

going on tv show or get a comedy

50:41

special cs and mobile. All it took was

50:44

just. Publicity. For

50:46

the access to me to figure out to us

50:48

to the i didn't get. Tremendously.

50:50

Funnier over the past two years and I

50:52

had just kicked in. Yeah, it is. You

50:55

know any to be accessibility and that ways

50:57

liberal Fire me the ass. Shoutout to social

50:59

media for that I guess say I are

51:01

all said sofa. I love that you hate

51:03

social media. Of his I was.

51:06

Confess. Or get guess the contest Something to

51:08

me. On the cell repressed and

51:10

and who was a mass. Email

51:13

got long as realized views about why

51:15

is by far the ones who confessed

51:18

to is there any like seem to

51:20

the can have a show. Like it

51:22

for me when I heard you say that you're

51:24

just scrolling hundreds of thousands of beautiful women. like

51:26

do you ever hook up a defence. Ah,

51:29

I'm no, not really now.

51:32

I want it some juicy where people only I swallow.

51:34

I didn't know that about. I'm. Oh.

51:39

Sorry with a couple. Concessions.

51:41

Could you. Will yell at me like the

51:44

level the wrong I don't wanna. Oh it's kinda

51:46

real dark like list as weird

51:48

as confession. we've ever lane is a

51:50

delay a blown us not bubble before of

51:52

shit my pants hit my recently i've murdered

51:54

loyalty. Yes, Oh

51:56

Shit. Like and. That's

51:59

why you. They're worried about guess. Is.

52:01

He murdered somebody. Not murder any

52:04

by amount of you crowds. Ah,

52:06

now last night was a nightmare.

52:09

That last bachelor homies around the earth.

52:11

Videos I saw of you know it's like. Ellie

52:14

she was like yeah I've been telling you about

52:16

this guy forever and it was reduce the i

52:18

always talk about it it's when you are like.

52:20

Talking. About those and new are like. Yeah

52:23

that. I died from too

52:26

much poor. Third, All now all I got all

52:28

the Obama was taught me about as low Dose

52:30

in the Mirror, our blog or the a mercy

52:32

the mirror is in the Mirrors is. A

52:35

of them out do it goes to

52:37

someone who doesn't have too much Posey

52:39

yeah so stupid saw that was in

52:41

like yet but i medical or by

52:43

your. Side of humor is exactly aligned with

52:45

are a type of humor. Of God it.

52:47

Is right up our alley and I'm freaking love

52:49

it of here has oh yeah no came here

52:51

to think of a message isn't if one doesn't

52:54

come to eat and thing about it because i

52:56

one more game to play of the and then

52:58

that's it. And farm And it.

53:00

At my house I'm saying okay saying I'm

53:03

playing with dolls for the three hours. That

53:05

was a reverse psychology I dislike of yeah

53:07

human up your weather. Other

53:09

that would I use My God.

53:14

Suitably than that, No, I do not have

53:16

the ability to home and I'm seven as

53:18

they. Live

53:21

a life That concession. I'm.

53:25

Like. Something that you're like. Wow. This method.

53:27

I can't believe I'm about to tell us.

53:32

Okay, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go light

53:34

of amateur like know some a juicy or

53:36

them at their ah I'm. My

53:41

ex girlfriend broke the news to me and

53:43

non porn. this was nice girl from boobs

53:45

that's who happen to break them up until

53:48

last year. I

53:51

thought your finger nails grew from the

53:53

tips. It's

53:57

like when about your grow with i saw nails and like it.

54:00

Like riding up on the hugo that always be like

54:02

what it wanted to get along the way down under

54:04

like they grow and like yeah but like from the

54:06

thick. It

54:08

still makes sense to me. I'll get to

54:10

give it to the average. You brought this

54:12

to me. I go I was I was

54:14

not like hairs as your tears the same

54:16

way. I don't know as soon another through

54:18

that doesn't make sense. You'd eat dinner girls

54:20

in the ends. Yeah. I

54:23

see my. Is

54:26

scientifically. for a big event like

54:28

this. Okay so the hair on your arm

54:30

right? Yeah so it only grows to a

54:32

certain like the right and if you cut

54:34

in half it's only gonna go back. Gonna

54:36

grow back to that length right? So makes

54:38

more sense to me that it would know

54:40

to rejuvenate that amount on the top of

54:42

from the top rather than pushing through your

54:44

skin Ww to make up for lost grounds

54:46

as the bottom of it know how much

54:48

to recoup on the spot assist assist with

54:50

can be say you make a fair point.

54:54

But you're also very wrong. Yeah,

54:58

down, as well as pretty embarrassing when I found that out.

55:00

Yeah, that that's a bad one. Sorrento

55:03

to Brimstone. Is that most handsome?

55:06

Thank you. Could do little bit.

55:08

Steep manicures, I don't I

55:10

was little over soft hands which is crazy.

55:12

Uma another lotion I know. That.

55:16

Dry. Easily slip is

55:19

not really now. Are

55:21

they want us foreign? That kind of

55:23

weird move. A dry rub. Canada healer

55:26

some ago Buffalo always like a west

55:28

saw some Obama dry rubs off from

55:30

ammo. I'm a lemon pepper masturbate for

55:32

separate. Driver up

55:34

the idea of other after I'd round

55:36

five or six us of his original

55:38

and bay. Fans? Are

55:40

you? What's your record? Oh. It's

55:43

probably. Two or three. In. A day?

55:45

Yeah, I

55:47

was about. What's yours?

55:50

Are devices such as sick as often

55:52

as stupid as have like the waves

55:54

of of like morning as had to

55:57

algo ago and months sometimes running as

55:59

think about. Mm for like

56:01

two weeks straight. Unlike all day on

56:03

my i just I scratch. That's

56:05

more related by feel like men in general are

56:08

horn your them women though. I've.

56:10

Heard opposite from women that

56:12

fascinating to. Are obviously some of I

56:14

didn't agree or what? I disagree. Localized at

56:16

there's no way women are is more newsmakers

56:18

includes We'd your trust in our cars like.

56:21

You've. as i just had a to get it out it's

56:23

like as same. Yeah I'm pretty much

56:25

every morning really have as like my

56:27

coffee every morning freshly teeth mere thought

56:30

the same time we hit the have

56:32

not lived up to what is the

56:34

players As the professors of Matsuyama forward

56:36

is. Oh

56:39

no. Hooked up. To

56:42

them for girl comes over as well

56:44

I was he meant he fresh said

56:46

i excessive alcohol or throw. Okay,

56:49

that's good, that's this is good material again. Plane

56:52

one day with you. Before I let you go

56:54

run it called map. Makers

56:56

Lucky Left or race. Why

57:00

he was the bombers. You know what? I did

57:02

and then I was like I said it's just like let that

57:04

roll off the tongue and said to be like. Swipe.

57:08

Lamb. To mourn. right?

57:10

I should just let it flow.

57:13

I'd like to take the as are

57:15

married at the i mean it way

57:17

worse the hospital a her lover of

57:19

your who are who were messing with okay

57:21

are you dating apps now? I think

57:23

I'm on riot but I'm I haven't

57:25

been on for ever, will have an

57:27

account leaves a subscription. I read about

57:29

the year. I think another thing against

57:31

Fats are people like I've heard so many

57:33

girls that come up the bachelor or

57:35

that where the bachelorette the can't get

57:37

on that up Really? yeah Interesting. Say.

57:41

Like I would invite Everybody already

57:43

has. Yeah exactly. You and your

57:45

knives. And okay, so I have a

57:48

list of hypothetical dating profile situations. And

57:50

guys are made up people. Yeah, August. And

57:52

is that answer if you swipe left or

57:54

if they could be Mrs. Rice. Suicide.

57:57

Rate is rife right? Yeah, I got a

57:59

guy. Given a social media. Not.

58:03

Even a little red fly for you. Know

58:05

Lhasa, she's nineteen less

58:08

said. As he looks exactly like your

58:10

ex. Oh. Rice

58:13

and. Her profile says

58:15

she doesn't want children. Were.

58:20

She looks what was expected

58:23

to be foot of of

58:25

that U S. Ah oh.

58:28

Probably lead own kids some day as

58:30

pressure I'm pretty sure of. okay for

58:32

out of her five picks are her

58:34

with horses? Thrice.

58:37

And will forces four, five. Six have heard

58:39

talking about those. Plus oh. Says

58:42

that grammar. Hargrove.

58:46

Really dumb. yeah I loved it. until now

58:49

dynamically successfully could use that a contract Euros

58:51

massage. You know they don't like to joke.

58:53

kidding kidding me? Say it explained. I now

58:55

I get in trouble all the hard My

58:57

listeners are the have really good sense of

59:00

humor I have so am I recommend you

59:02

Louisville. Look at me, assume I can't read

59:04

the like I'd as I get a fair

59:06

assumption seventies. You think you're hot? Now of the

59:09

other people would say that larger

59:11

me to give really not me

59:13

bad grammar as I don't My

59:15

bad grammar is she can't talk

59:17

in tic tacs. He. Can be

59:19

a be giving anything it's he gave

59:21

me of the me up. And.

59:24

Had a see how get. I don't want to

59:26

hear a single tic toc slang go out your

59:28

mouth. I keep your bag Ramrod I can teach

59:30

you is it's there near. Effects. And

59:32

see someone your friend of talk to casual

59:34

in the past. But.

59:36

Not up with. Hooked. Up

59:39

now left. She

59:41

has a pack with one of the your. Mercy

59:43

shirts on rice we're going on

59:45

fan. There is something to look

59:48

at my furnace and as a

59:50

Sonic. Linked up with. A

59:53

su partido. I got up early

59:55

to photo of me and were

59:57

done.it's not like God. And this was

59:59

fun! This was what made you for reminding me

1:00:01

in your home and have me on the bike and

1:00:03

yet you're welcome. Think it would fail miserably? Get him

1:00:05

get a great this. I'm curious. I don't think

1:00:08

he will. Happen so I will be

1:00:10

okay. I feel like everyone is really stoked

1:00:12

when I said you're from now on the

1:00:14

podcast other listening or like why does the

1:00:16

he's my favorite and I mr i think

1:00:18

I'm. Slid.

1:00:21

Off her chair and she was like

1:00:23

a mean all the cheerleader. My nieces

1:00:25

cheerleader you know the Chairman's are obsessed

1:00:27

with him. And

1:00:29

as a killer you are like and

1:00:31

forty side stop. Rice and fibrous. So

1:00:35

shout out all the chairman's and. Ledoux helps at all

1:00:37

this your mom's and will do. Yeah. That

1:00:39

are. Certain. After only found. A.

1:00:45

Glider subscribe. I. Was the

1:00:47

Aussies also have a pro to like

1:00:49

the social media and seeing like to

1:00:51

somebody hot girls there are as like

1:00:53

you think all of them live in

1:00:55

Miami or L A and are certain

1:00:58

type of like bougie a shallow girl

1:01:00

but he still is hot girls on

1:01:02

tix algorithm or whatever may be and

1:01:04

later in places like Vancouver or Nashville

1:01:06

as easy these beautiful women with light

1:01:08

of thousand followers of them and their

1:01:10

dogs and they work if he had

1:01:12

and are prophecies your wife's those hills

1:01:14

some beautiful be brother know give a

1:01:16

shit. About this shallow stars last that's going

1:01:18

to be my wife with Russia. That's

1:01:20

it as going to ask because everyone that

1:01:23

was I stopped scrolling through the questions for

1:01:25

you because everyone is just like is he

1:01:27

single like assessed on all this effect several

1:01:29

months know what your type would be. Or

1:01:32

if you have us, ah, like

1:01:34

physically or as a person. but

1:01:36

ah, I'm like who was a

1:01:39

celebrity press. For. The have a Hayley

1:01:41

Williams. Of. Shot

1:01:44

ah progress on her Ever her mom

1:01:46

came the shows lessons. You know that.

1:01:49

It's everywhere in here. Marscher ah, stick is when

1:01:51

you were very nettles like that's so funny Pet.

1:01:53

Her mom sent me that march box Wow that will

1:01:55

have to wear for the show. She's of course I.

1:01:57

Have been of Hayley Williams fan.

1:02:00

I. Don't even know when I started loving her

1:02:03

when I was like twenty three ethic and I'm

1:02:05

thirty seven and I'm obsessed with her and

1:02:07

her voice. She's the reason that I started doing

1:02:09

voice lessons. Really? Yes, Avenues Essilor so insanely

1:02:11

talented. Unlike anything you would be a threat

1:02:13

like besides her being just absolutely beautifully and

1:02:16

givers be attracted to someone talent you like,

1:02:18

your so skillful like this are so attractive

1:02:20

to me. Yes, that's exactly what it like

1:02:22

I'm in love with other she's fantastic pls

1:02:25

probably have i have a celebrity crushes was

1:02:27

probably her that her answer. I was here

1:02:29

in November yelling a one nighter. Here's a

1:02:31

nice. And or mom's him

1:02:33

a show where do the me even when I

1:02:36

could meet everybody at the time and she knows

1:02:38

she was like all you'd have any more pair

1:02:40

if you need a new pair. More shirts. Why?

1:02:42

The videos on take either went viral. How I

1:02:44

was wary of harmless. How's about like banter? I

1:02:47

love the band's you're like. You. Know

1:02:49

I am. I was like. Mario

1:02:51

is she was on Haley's Mom or the Get

1:02:53

Us. Out as as of A. My daughter

1:02:55

and I love you like we always sharing your take,

1:02:58

talks of stuff back and forth with. this was your

1:03:00

special together I was like to have. As

1:03:02

yet off season of the cause unarmed

1:03:04

want to see them are embassy paramour

1:03:06

at the of for room and ole

1:03:08

the summer of last. Last year I love

1:03:11

I know all of her music and she's seems

1:03:13

like just such a bad as I've seen her

1:03:15

live twice as you like, hockey movies on stage,

1:03:17

between like screen. The no way the access

1:03:19

so hot I know mess up your

1:03:21

sales others as you like. Ah

1:03:26

of of Thera. More about

1:03:28

our thera? more. Of

1:03:31

a sexist us but an area so I'm

1:03:33

of us that live that's like the one

1:03:35

I will of America we know. That

1:03:38

stuff here. but personality wise.

1:03:42

Like. Would you be she would ever be viral on to talk.

1:03:45

Now. I just we don't want to date somebody

1:03:47

who's like and influencer I really don't wanna do.

1:03:49

I get me depends on whether cards and as

1:03:51

like dozen people who'd like to fashion a like

1:03:53

make him to tours with thus of not as

1:03:56

bad to be Vesuvius. You're dancing

1:03:58

or dislike being overly. Sexually

1:04:00

provocative in a video for like. The

1:04:02

a Day. It's. So amateur to

1:04:04

me, the very unattractive. That what if he

1:04:06

won The mere bolland you like dancing. Far

1:04:09

as I said, I thought about such

1:04:11

the of I if I ah yes.

1:04:14

Yes, This is

1:04:16

a male and applied to the gala kind of

1:04:18

set a rock star at know influencer. Good sense

1:04:21

of humor Shirley I love a good roasting relationship

1:04:23

like a solicitor might seize assets as it that

1:04:25

once dated a girl who was like stingray by

1:04:27

the up and see know it as use you'd

1:04:30

you'd have sex with her but as you like

1:04:32

literally get the mirrors like torque the herself from

1:04:34

the in the mirror and the whole to i

1:04:36

would be so overtly is a girl I did

1:04:38

have sex with what's going on very try to

1:04:41

do but he became so annoying to me the

1:04:43

other times You would do it every time she

1:04:45

would work in. A mere I'll go. As

1:04:50

to stop him. How to be succeed on like

1:04:52

with not okay so childish Oh my god I

1:04:54

can't imagine a lot of a Malibu a good

1:04:56

roasting relationship out to me like I'm I'm not

1:04:59

going to play in the are insecure is unless

1:05:01

you feel insecure and I'm a girl is Why

1:05:03

do they still have fan as album? Ah yeah

1:05:05

you have. A look in don't we this

1:05:07

room you know you are more about the he. I

1:05:09

like Zach the I Live I love the bats are

1:05:11

going to give it back and forth. yeah no sense

1:05:13

of humor obviously would be be a comedian. My bay

1:05:15

has to be. In. A dark suit and some

1:05:17

dark see if you can see where

1:05:20

my onstage Imagine what I don't know

1:05:22

arms a sense of humor is obviously

1:05:24

a big one. not I'm influenced or

1:05:26

preferably and just a nice person. Yes

1:05:28

it's become a as a thing recently

1:05:31

that I have met a few girls

1:05:33

that like. Being. A

1:05:35

mean girl is like their way

1:05:37

of flirting and might not. Find

1:05:40

my roasting is fun. like.

1:05:42

That a those is a difference though. They

1:05:44

don't get into a i don't bid is now

1:05:46

not light hot to me and my sisters us

1:05:48

who like you seem we're cool girl and my

1:05:51

you're you're stunning but i'd your son a

1:05:53

means to me yes ah i'm see others of

1:05:55

there's a fine line but like is funny you

1:05:57

should read it in and mean or birds. The

1:06:00

little where he has enough study is

1:06:02

be be nice be able to laugh.

1:06:05

And. Have some

1:06:07

kind of success success. Of.

1:06:30

Time for a quick break to talk

1:06:32

about Mcdonalds mornings or for mixing and

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mix and match to have your favorite

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1:06:45

iced coffee with Mcdonalds mix and match,

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other. offer a combo meal single item

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at regular price. See

1:06:56

what screaming month long during Pluto

1:06:58

Tv is. Haunting

1:07:02

and movies like Evil Dead,

1:07:04

Thirty Days of Night, and

1:07:06

Bram Stoker Dracula. Water

1:07:09

Exorcism of Emily Rose Last Lulu

1:07:11

Tv has and was a channels

1:07:13

with thousands of movies and Tv

1:07:16

shows. I'm a little more and

1:07:18

on demand download The Fleet Tv

1:07:20

Yeah but we're we were devices

1:07:22

and start screaming. I mean streaming

1:07:25

now. So.

1:07:27

Kelly. Do you really think any of

1:07:29

your girls are going to surpass Matthew

1:07:31

Stafford? Superbowl tab as an athlete? Any

1:07:33

I would have thought sale and I watched him by that.

1:07:35

So now. For hours. Kelly be. I. Feel

1:07:37

like I just tell them what they can do better? You know?

1:07:39

When you're talking in these adorable little girls at

1:07:41

night, I hope you're not reminding them that they have

1:07:43

a very limited future. Advertise The Zinc That's

1:07:46

honesty and that's me. Okay, so you're

1:07:48

harsh. I'm definitely the sweet The Floss if

1:07:50

you will. And if you listen to this

1:07:52

podcast the Morning After with you Kelly Stafford

1:07:54

in me hate Winchester or on on fluff

1:07:56

like like marshmallow fluff. You get a girl

1:07:58

you know, sweet, smooth, you spray. That a

1:08:00

sandwich. Delicious. Within a year that what the

1:08:02

hell am I. You are toss You are

1:08:05

tough old rotten. Suffer through the process.

1:08:07

Wow hands wow. Listen I'm just saying

1:08:09

this podcast said some real hard truths

1:08:11

are going to have to deal with

1:08:13

it but overall were pretty sweet and

1:08:16

enjoyable to surgery and. Let's face it,

1:08:18

every once in the outside looking in things,

1:08:20

I have my stuff together. I'm just like

1:08:22

everyone else. I struggle with kerosene. I struggle

1:08:24

with married. I struggle. With car full of

1:08:26

all of a you're just carpool him in a

1:08:29

much nicer car than all of a sophomore. Her.

1:08:31

The The Thomas. Last of us listen

1:08:33

to the Morning After podcast with me,

1:08:35

Kelly Safford and Hank Winchester available wherever

1:08:37

he gets your podcasts. To

1:08:41

be getting antsy? allow read and I'm Lindsay

1:08:43

First lady comes when I for coffee combos

1:08:45

every Thursday. It's theory that assassin about mother

1:08:48

had friends and family and life and the

1:08:50

public eye as we share a real life

1:08:52

experiences trying to balance it all the issues

1:08:54

that we face daily. We don't always agree

1:08:56

with how was he eats, handle it and

1:08:58

we definitely read about the frustration, but we

1:09:00

always have a great congo and hopefully learn

1:09:02

something by the end of it. So listen

1:09:05

to an. Awful

1:09:07

lot like noncompliant or wherever you

1:09:09

get your partner.