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And now, a sneak preview

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of our latest Patreon episode. Kiss

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the Bride! Log.

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Space Date

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2389547.f Log,

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it seems my time aboard the

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CSS Cavalier is fated to be

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filled with terrible trials. Such

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is my lot. Case in point. I

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learned that in agreeing to serve

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as Meredith Chesterfield's maid of honor,

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I am also required to plan

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what she calls a Bachelorette party.

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Trust me, Log, in Astro-Soviet Collective, no

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one was requiring me to plan

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any parties. That I can

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promise you. Nevertheless, I have

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done my best to plan an enriching

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and worthwhile weekend away from the ship.

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We will be traveling to the

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world of Amethystal, the Crystal Moon,

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to undertake a grueling and challenging

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two-night hike in the garnet caverns

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of the Glistening River. The

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difficult climb will give Meredith a chance

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to reflect on the end of a

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life unencumbered by Gail Meyer Lysander. I

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have invited along her best friends on

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the ship, myself and

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Gail Meyer Lysander. I

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thought it was odd too, but I asked Meredith and

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she said Gail Meyer was her best friend, so I

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had to invite him to the party, Log. Gasping

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in front of you is Meredith

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Chesterfield and she's wearing

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a black leather cropped

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tube top that says,

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cool bride and part of the

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B is made from a star

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bike made out of sequins. And

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then she's also wearing black leather pants. They

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look really good. Wow!

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your Lysander, tall, 24, with a

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scar across his face. He is

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wearing a full tuxedo in the

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style of James Bond, the Earth

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diplomat. Wait, so I'm here... I thought I

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was here just to go

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over like a different bachelor party. I thought you

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were organizing, like, my

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guys going there, then her gals going where

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you all are going, but this is just

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the... this is it. Babe!

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No, I'm just curious. I'm

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just curious. This one's about me.

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That's what I'm saying, baby. That's the thing.

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I want you to have a time of

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your life, man. Traditionally, the groom

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is not going along with the bathroom. What's

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traditional about us? Stop

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it. Name literally one thing. Name

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one thing that's traditional about

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us. You are both

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cisgenders and heterosexual. Name

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the second thing. Literally, you can't. Our

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heights. I'm a little bit taller than

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you. Dang it. Looking at

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the porthole of this shuttlecraft is

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Katya Bushnakova, her angular face

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full of deep regret, her

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hair blonde, choppy. She's

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wearing her vanguard uniform

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and is sporting very

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practical climbing and hiking

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gear. Gelmar, I would

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have nothing to do with your bachelor

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party, okay? I would not touch such

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a thing. I would barely have been

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touching this thing if it weren't for

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the fact that I was somehow suckered

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into being made of honor for Meredith.

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Yeah! Gelmar, have you not

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chosen a groom of honor? Wait, wait. What's

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it called? A boy of honor? It's boy

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of all names. It's boy of all names.

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Best man. Best man. I'm the groom of

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honor, huh? Boy, I will be good. You're

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my group of honor. Oh, stop it. I

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am your groom. I should

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have invited at least one more person I am

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seeing now. I think you should have done

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that to be perfect. No! My besties! That

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would ruin everything for me. and this is

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all about me! I'm really

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happy, and that's what matters, when the

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bride is happy. Gelmner looks

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at Meredith, looks at Katya, and looks

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back at Meredith's beaming smile. Alright,

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if you're happy with this, then... I

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guess I'll be a little... bachelorette with you tonight.

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Yay! I love it when he caves! This

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is so cute! It is funny you

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mentioned caves, because we have in store for you gorgeous

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and dangerous death-defying trails

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in the Garnet Cavern. Ooh,

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to like a party?

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This is a party. It is activity, yes?

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You wanted activity? Yeah. Yes.

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Okay, now are there drinks or

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cameras that we can take funny

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pictures of? Or sort of riding

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around in a small town, or riding

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around in a mid-sized city that's got

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a lot of character music? I

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have freeze-dried water, and

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I have... How do you... I

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have jerky that came from Grunda,

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and he would not specify the meat. I

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think it might be Grunda. Okay,

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so like a fun meal? Yes,

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you will have... You

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know, extensive, probably. You

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will have sufficient electrolytes and hydration for your trip.

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Okay, okay. Electrolytes are like

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confetti for the blood, so

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let's do this thing. There it

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is. That's a cool way to look

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at things, yeah. I heard about it

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from hydrate your hustle on Starstagram. I told

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you, I like that they will engage you.

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I like that you're interested in them. I

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don't want to hear about any of that sort

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of like social media stuff, because like that's your

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stuff. And when I hear about it, it makes

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me feel... frankly, it makes me

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feel... I just don't really... I kind of

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send to it, and I don't want to put you in that situation.

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I have a question. Yes? Are

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you... I have not thought have you

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given to this marriage. Hmm.

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Well, it's so funny you ask. It like happens

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sort of out of nowhere. We weren't even dating

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when we got engaged. And I

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sort of proposed without meeting to, and she

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sort of said yes without meeting to. And

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since then we've just sort of been building it step

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by step. And sure, it may be a little untraditional,

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but we live in a

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pretty untraditional ship. And so far it's

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been working pretty well. Yeah. I

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mean, marriage? Have

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I given it thought? I

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plan to after the big fun wedding.

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I'm more wedding, eyes on the wedding

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prize, because that'll be fun. Since

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you are mentioning dates, I'm wondering

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if you have yet set one, because

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I have, as you instructed, blocked out

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the entirety of the next two years.

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Yes. We did send out Save the Year.

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Yes. So

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we had a date in October, but that didn't

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work because I hurt my finger. I did not

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want to be going – I did

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not want to be in front of all my friends and family

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with a little splint on my finger.

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I find that unmanly. I would never want

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to go to that. So we changed the

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date to a time in December. But then

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Meredith didn't want to compete with the Christian

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holidays. She's not Christian. I'm not Christian, but

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she is aware that there is an optics

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thing there. And I give my

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baby what she wants. Then we decided to

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do one in February. Same thing.

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We don't believe in Valentine's Day.

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Other people do. We don't want to live the rest of

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our lives being like, oh my god, you got married in

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a Valentine's Day month? That would fucking kill me. I was

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bombing every day. So then we have blocked out a Save

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the Year. Oh,

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look what you see. We are approaching the planet.