0:00

Rick Sanchez was fired by CNN.

0:02

So what did he do? He built a four billion

0:04

dollar company. How's that forgetting even?

0:06

Now he's got a podcast where pissed off,

0:08

Latinos called, Rick Sanchez

0:11

News. Check it out. Donna George.

0:13

Yeah, man. Yeah, we would yeah. We're pissed

0:16

off. We should be pissed off. If you think about it, we're

0:18

twenty percent of the population. of this country and

0:20

were less than two percent of the people that represented

0:22

on TV. I mean, we're the third fastest

0:24

growing economy in the entire world.

0:26

only behind China and India if

0:28

we were country ahead of the United States.

0:31

We're creating more jobs than anybody

0:33

in the United States. We're hiring

0:35

more people than any other cohort in the United

0:37

States. And what do they wanna do? They wanna get

0:39

rid of us. I

0:40

mean, give me a break And

0:42

every time we're cast by the way, it's always as a

0:44

criminals. Right? So yeah.

0:46

Yeah. These are things these are Latino truths that

0:48

we need to talk about. and they're really,

0:51

really important. So Rick sent

0:53

his news. It's on Agua Media.

0:55

You can listen to it on Apple, Spotify,

0:59

George, when I saw why you crying, I

1:01

saw my life. Mhmm. And I was

1:03

like, damn. And and you took me out of in living

1:05

room, my parents. Yeah. I saw somebody going

1:07

through what I complained about what I didn't

1:09

like and you made it funny. The man

1:12

get up bit -- Yeah. -- after tasting the same

1:14

man that had me die. I didn't I didn't

1:16

think we I had met somebody who

1:18

lived the life lived. Right. So when you came

1:20

up or when when that came out, it

1:22

changed everything. Mhmm. Everything

1:24

to be like, Oh, you know what? I

1:27

gotta be true to myself.

1:29

Hello,

1:30

everyone. Your listening

1:33

to, oh my god. Hi. With

1:37

me George's don't pay parking side of camp.

1:39

Let's do the show, Puka. I can think the dude

1:41

that I got over there. Directly, my kids fell

1:43

upset. They were like, I didn't hear about this. I'm a New

1:45

York sport sport sport and car.

1:48

You know George's? Oh, I'm sure. He's around

1:50

here somewhere. What's his name? George

1:53

Lopez. George Lopez. Oh

1:55

my god. OMG.

2:04

You know what? I I would like to say that.

2:06

I I'm gonna say that I

2:10

was in a place maybe

2:12

thirty years ago where I felt very

2:15

kind of, you know, like boxing.

2:17

Mhmm. You know, I I looked at comedy

2:20

from the beginning that's bi. I love boxing.

2:22

Mhmm. And a

2:24

lot of boxers have never fucking

2:26

liked each other. Some some do,

2:29

like like, Ollie and and

2:31

Fraser. And Ollie would, you

2:33

know, clown them and all that. So they really had a

2:35

lot of hate for each other. You know, very

2:38

homes and Ali because he was,

2:40

you know, kicked his ass and stuff and, you know,

2:42

in a business where it's a singular business like

2:44

comedy.

2:45

And

2:47

when dudes come up, nobody nobody there

2:49

was no social media. So nobody really

2:52

kind of open their arms to anyone.

2:54

It was just a very, you know, hey,

2:56

that guy is killing. Like, they they

2:58

they talk more about you when you're not around than

3:00

than when you were around. But it's hard to forge any

3:03

lasting friendships because -- That's right. --

3:05

it's like a war. It's like the war. When

3:07

what? Before go out and one dude

3:09

wraps it up. And you it's it's a

3:11

rap, and you never see him again. Never see him

3:13

again. Mhmm. You know, I had

3:15

this dude that used to be

3:17

of, like, one of those comedians that went into Tux,

3:20

you know. And he'd be out there. And he

3:22

had the pinky ring, and he goes, yeah. You know, it was

3:24

a mator d. He had some jokes with.

3:26

Alright. not not funny, but he's

3:28

trying comedy. Right. Yeah. And I went to

3:30

go see, I think, FastTime

3:32

is at Ridgemont High. Mhmm. And my friend

3:34

already walked the guy down He was in his tucks.

3:37

And I said, hey, what you what you doing, man? You got

3:39

a show. Man. And he fucking

3:42

took his flashlight out, anyway. No.

3:44

I work here. Being I wore

3:46

the theater, man. He worked in the theater. Yeah.

3:49

We're in the same tux. At least we're

3:51

out stage. And you're just

3:53

like, wow, man. It's like a survival of

3:56

the fittest. And -- Mhmm. -- you know, even if you're

3:58

fit, it doesn't mean you make it. That's

4:00

right. But to get to a place where you

4:02

can welcome Latino Expedis

4:04

into your show and

4:07

help guys and not have anything

4:09

in your heart that's bad for them

4:11

or towards them. I think I think they're all

4:13

great. And you know what, man? That wasn't

4:16

me about

4:16

forty, thirty years ago. I was like,

4:18

fuck those motherfuckers. Yeah. No.

4:20

I can see that. And that you almost have to.

4:22

Right? I guess you have to have them. And

4:24

because it's like when somebody would say,

4:27

didn't you help I said, IIII

4:29

had an opportunity that

4:32

I created. You helped them

4:34

because of that.

4:35

man. Like, without the George

4:38

Lopez show, it gave

4:40

somebody a template. You know, it gave somebody

4:42

an opportunity, but every week

4:44

that you're of there. And every week, you're a fucking

4:46

comedian.

4:47

Man,

4:48

you you fucking kidney could go out, you're

4:50

fucking leg, you could fall you could hurt yourself.

4:53

You're gonna fucking break your fucking elbow. It's a

4:55

fucking hard fucking business. Yeah.

4:57

But you have to be funny in that at fucking

5:00

time, man, no matter what goes on in your

5:02

life. Mhmm. So to

5:04

be able to, you know, Jesse, to see Jesse here

5:06

at and and have him on the show, man. It's

5:08

fucking is is great, man. Yeah.

5:10

We got one question. what

5:14

are the Yeah. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's

5:16

it's it's it's it's it's

5:18

it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's

5:20

it's it's it's That's soos no That's

5:23

alright. you. Thank you. Thank you not. What is the chance

5:25

to look at Jesse to be What are the chances

5:28

of somebody giving me me just fucked up

5:30

and being a comedian. What are the chances? No.

5:32

Bad. Bad. Bad. Yeah.

5:35

But welcome, man. Welcome. No. Thank you. Thank you. thing

5:37

you're saying is so true. Like, even when I first started,

5:39

I I had that little thing of, like, man, why isn't Georgia?

5:41

Why is it? But then learning and

5:44

being in the game -- Yep. -- I get it. No.

5:46

And I I understand why you were

5:48

closed because of everything you went through.

5:50

Because when I go through it, I'm going through it too, and I'm

5:52

just like, hey, I have no wonder you said fuck everybody.

5:54

Look at when I walk everybody talking shit, And

5:56

we were, like, cool. And then at first, everybody's

5:59

cool. And then everybody starts talking shit, a bunch of things.

6:01

Hey. So so we weren't cool. So that's how you really

6:03

feel. And then go my we're gonna

6:05

be like, damn. The better you drink the the

6:07

everywhere with NVIDIA. They said, Lambda. You

6:09

know what I mean? But that's like, you know, Valentinos were so

6:12

used to it because even when families, you know. You can And the and the

6:14

dudes that are fucking my mons like, hey, let's go to club

6:16

together. I pick your apartment. Yeah. Like, they yeah.

6:19

They had a the nice one or worse what you wanna

6:22

be around with, like, oh, you're whack. They're out. They

6:24

were fucking out. They were fucking they're out there

6:26

to fill more air. I was there, buddy.

6:28

No. No. No. No.

6:30

No more comedy. No. There has to be

6:32

a a level of well,

6:33

you're a fucking police officer, man. If

6:35

you're if you're like, hey, don't I have a partner

6:37

in the car but the fuckard. This is a fucking LAPD0

6:40

this is law enforcement. This is a sheriff.

6:42

Yeah. Right alone. What? Yeah.

6:45

Oh, and a fucking dude. At some point,

6:47

man, like, oh, we see. At some point, If

6:50

you're a boxer, you got eight people with you,

6:52

ten people. They feed you. They cook for you. And

6:54

the only time they can't fucking help you is when

6:56

you

6:56

at some point, you gotta I'm living fucking alone.

6:58

Yeah. That's right. And when you go in that room when that

7:00

door closes and it's ten guys and

7:03

you say to yourself, why

7:05

not me? Mhmm. Why can't why can't can

7:07

it be me? Mhmm. Not looking at them going,

7:09

oh, those are fucking better. I fucking those

7:11

those those. Yeah. That's right. Let me in there.

7:13

Let me in there. Why not me. Everybody's

7:16

asking why. I don't fucking love people. Why? Hey.

7:18

Go move your car, wife. I can't tell you. Go move your

7:20

fucking car again. That fucking wife. Go

7:22

move your fucking what we're ducking that.

7:24

You're not gonna tell me what move your car.

7:26

That's right. So -- Yeah. -- I was I was

7:28

jaded like that too in the beginning because I went to

7:30

the laugh factory, the promissory I saw

7:33

the politics and the kiss and ass and

7:35

that wasn't me. I was I didn't grow up like that.

7:37

So it was hard for me to work there. Yeah. So I

7:39

just say, you know what, fuck? I took a step back and

7:41

I I went to those little Mexican rooms, you know,

7:43

little fucking bar gigs, a little private

7:46

guy. learned how to grind it out on my own.

7:48

It says, you know, like, the the real

7:50

version of myself, not like this what

7:52

venturing to what they want. Remember Rocky and mister

7:54

t, mister t was in their pungus smell like koolin

7:57

there. They sound like little rope at the little

7:59

room. That's what that's that's you get better.

8:01

You get better when you go to a place where

8:04

nobody's really seen you -- Mhmm. -- like a gym.

8:06

It's all it's kinda kinda like the gym and you go to

8:08

the gym. And when you can go to those isn't

8:10

and do stand up and and not ever

8:13

be, like, right now dude, like, on your next

8:15

table. What? Okay. Wow. That's a thing.

8:17

That's well, he's saying it's so true because people don't

8:19

know that. That's what makes a real comic.

8:21

And you can tell who a real comic is because when

8:23

you go through all that, all that freaking

8:25

those gig and you gotta fight through the fucking dodge your

8:27

game on and you gotta get their attention and you

8:29

gotta, like, fight through a guy fighting right

8:31

now, like, all of that build

8:34

you as a strongcom because then when you go to the comedy

8:36

store, you do go to the left factory. These

8:38

other comics are sweating with

8:40

your neck. That's right. because you

8:42

you put in the fucking fear on them because you're like, yo,

8:44

I'm bringing jokes, like, real jokes.

8:47

Not just my minds of, like, one liners and Yeah.

8:49

-- good. We'll clever a common

8:51

at the fuck. I wanna make you laugh. You can't

8:53

hear the fucking laugh. You know, real shit. And and

8:55

and when you when you look at something and you

8:57

have to say, when I was

8:59

doing we had to do shows.

9:01

You're like, can can anybody do

9:03

this show?

9:05

Ask yourself, can anybody tell

9:07

these tell these jokes? Can

9:09

anybody do if if it wasn't

9:11

me, could somebody do this? Exactly. Yeah.

9:14

Yeah. And when they say yeah.

9:16

It doesn't have to be you. But when it

9:18

has to be you, then you're on the right

9:21

old. That's right. Then you play you paid your

9:23

dues, then you're in place here.

9:28

and That's not a a

9:32

You know,

9:35

I think you just now you're just, you know,

9:37

you you and then you fucking

9:40

you you you throw this out,

9:42

and then you got you got one coming in your

9:44

head you nose is great, and

9:46

you do that, and then you throw yours, and

9:48

they think you made it up on the spot, and they go fucking

9:50

crazy. And then you're you're nice

9:52

and nice and nice and nice and nice and beautiful. It's it's a grind. It's

9:54

a grind. It's a grind. It's like it takes it takes

9:56

a a strong person to go through that. Especially

9:59

after years after years, you're like, guys, what am I doing?

10:01

Everybody we get back home is, like, getting

10:04

jobs and getting houses and it just hit

10:06

her because they're like, wow, where everybody is. Everybody live

10:08

in their lives and shit. They're still looking at me. You're still telling

10:10

them, my really. You're

10:12

my family. You're like, you know? call

10:20

call that guy. Come on. You call that guy.

10:22

Yeah. My uncle always looking. Hey. They

10:25

don't construction. I mean, I your way.

10:27

Wow. I'm like,

10:29

good. Good comedy, man. Let me

10:31

do this. But it takes a took a long

10:33

while to stay focused. And and,

10:37

you know, it

10:39

depends on, like, the if you what

10:42

what eye you have, you know, a

10:45

a detective or a police officer, you

10:48

don't touch the area, you stay

10:50

back. Yeah. Yeah. When I bought house

10:52

and and to look like

10:54

I was

10:55

working all the time, so the guys that were coming

10:57

to work -- Yeah. -- or didn't see

10:59

me. They only saw and light skin. No.

11:02

Yes. And and I came out one day

11:04

with this thing under my arm with jeans

11:06

and the thing and and the and the guys the

11:09

the the little Mexican dude that was working there

11:11

with, Ben. He says, hey. I

11:13

said,

11:13

you're under the who's that when we used the bathroom

11:15

inside. And

11:25

I told and I was laughing, fucking laughing, man.

11:27

I mean, I loved it. And Anne's, like, which one was

11:29

it? I said, no. No. No. No. Look, that I I love it.

11:32

I love it. Yeah. You understand it.

11:35

It was was honest -- Sure.

11:36

-- it was a it was a real thing.

11:38

That's those are the real those are the real things,

11:41

man. Like like True, man. Our

11:43

family members, like, if it's your

11:45

it's your dad, it's your uncle, it's

11:48

your partner, it's

11:50

some, you know man, it was

11:52

fucking no one eat that dude, man. We used to play

11:54

this Sunday baseball league. Yeah. That's my fucking

11:57

portfolio. That's my favorite about this. Fingers.

11:59

You're fucking

11:59

kidding me. fucking bad like this. Like, you're fucking

12:02

bad. Like, I like a vice up bad news. Bear with

12:04

me. I'm fucking all the dark, you know.

12:06

But he'd be like this. And they go and

12:08

and you started hearing the

12:10

in the league talking about him. going

12:12

fucking money. Well, that fucking do it. You know, guess

12:15

what it's bad in averages, George. I go about

12:17

three hundred. Fuck it. Three hundred. Fuck it.

12:19

Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it.

12:21

Yeah. Really plays. He's been up a hundred

12:23

times. He has eighty eight hits.

12:25

Fuck you. Nobody has eighty eight hits.

12:27

He goes, and you can't strike him out. Yeah.

12:29

It's funny. And you're like bullshit. as

12:31

Vonage. And then we play for the championship.

12:34

And then you're looking around. Yeah. Yeah.

12:36

And you go, which one sport video? And

12:39

you look and you your your eyes go like, this is

12:41

really go down. And you're like, say, no. That's

12:43

him. Fucking

12:44

Mexican dude dark skinned, like, almost red.

12:46

It was a red. Fucking pants out.

12:48

You know, he's running, you know. you're

12:51

like, fuck it. This is my guy that is. I bet

12:53

you. High school. I fucking get some dues

12:55

from the college. Of that. And I'm

12:57

pitching. That by the part, because I pay like this

12:59

and fucking my first pitch. You fucking

13:02

get into the fucking double. Shit.

13:04

whales on it. I ran and fucking

13:07

get this all fucked up with. Well,

13:09

I really have the family to make. Put me in hell.

13:11

I fucking eat me out. And I fucking eat me out. And I fucking eat

13:15

me out. Like, all I was like, fuck

13:17

that and and and call them

13:19

immediately. And you're just, like, fuck it. And so you

13:21

gotta hit off your first pitch. Oh, humble

13:24

too. Like Is it good? You like That

13:26

was amazing. He's on shock line. He's okay. He's

13:28

okay. He's straight on second place

13:30

like that. My friend. My friend. Fuck it.

13:33

Fuck it. Run it. it

13:35

a third. Fuck it. Start with a curveball

13:37

that motherfucker. Fuck another

13:39

one. Fuck it. Fuck it, double. Fuck it. Fuck

13:41

this dude. That's true. And, yeah,

13:43

like, you know, rejection looked by his cover for sure.

13:45

We used to that. How come he's none other does not.

13:47

But Yeah. I need it.

13:50

Yeah. Fuck. He he we they

13:52

won. They one. No. I mean, did

13:54

you hit him? Did you hit the

13:56

side? struck through a little curve. Oh, man. But Listen,

13:59

man. How did you strike that one of the five? You couldn't

14:01

strike make them out, you know. Imagine a match

14:03

that you can't light. You're still fucking headed.

14:06

The lady about another fucking Well, you were a

14:08

pitcher. What? Yeah. A pitcher. I wish You're like

14:10

you're like, this fucking thingy.

14:12

The man You construct that motherfucker out.

14:14

That's funny. That's hilarious. That's what I mean.

14:17

wasn't a doctor's apartment. He's four eleven the fuckers.

14:19

He got me a doctor for love that. I'll be person.

14:21

But, I mean, he could he could not he was an incredible

14:24

fucking natural fucking talent. Right.

14:27

And

14:27

when you see those but you can make it up. Like,

14:29

you can't tell it, like, right now, you know, like,

14:31

you're telling a story and they laugh people, laugh, laugh,

14:33

laugh, laugh, and you can't

14:35

make

14:35

it lot of fucking my mouth. Like, the communities

14:37

are like, oh, you know, my a girlfriend. I said, she didn't like,

14:39

you know, when I smoke and bail on it. And

14:42

I told her, did I didn't know that you had a girlfriend?

14:44

No. I I don't. making

14:48

a rule. That's true to me. If if you're making it up,

14:50

then fuck her every night. That fucking talk about it. If

14:53

fucking sleeping in weather. Oh, boy. Yeah.

14:55

So through those are the things, man, like, you know,

14:57

you're not You hear a story. You'll know if he's if

15:00

it's coming from a real place or he's trying to cater

15:02

to the audience. You're like, now he's just coming from

15:04

a real fucking place. know, the sooner you

15:06

can see, like, you don't fucking magic in

15:08

La China. If I could do another rubber thromulator.

15:10

But, you know, it's like it's like, you know, it

15:12

fucking magician, he's like, you get me

15:14

the I would've fucking do it. Then

15:16

he takes his fucking thumb off. It's rubber

15:19

right here. He puts that scarf in there. Yeah.

15:21

Yeah. It'll And he's got makes it disappear, that

15:23

fucking bump. Fice side is bigger than than,

15:25

you know, like that. That that are. Yeah. If

15:27

you the thing about being comedian is

15:30

you can't see how the

15:32

magic is. Like, you have to see

15:34

the magician

15:36

not do the not

15:38

fucking do the the

15:39

show. see the joke coming. You

15:41

guys gotta surprise you. Yep. Right?

15:43

Yeah. I see what you're saying. you you have that. There's

15:46

Oh, you guys can watch it? Yeah. That was accurate.

15:48

Like, that's fucking now. Yeah.

15:50

That's dope. Yeah. I watched you for years. So for you to

15:52

watch me, he's like, hey. That's a joke. You know,

15:54

I don't know what that, you know Well,

15:57

clearly that, you know. Yeah. And you see guys

15:59

that that

15:59

saw you and in the wake of a man,

16:02

there they are, man. Yeah. And you know it's

16:04

not fucking easy for them. Not easy for me.

16:06

Wasn't easy for me? At all. Yeah. And it's not easy

16:08

for anybody. I don't even fuck what color you

16:10

are. It's not easy. Nah. But these dudes

16:12

man keep going coin, and they keep coming up,

16:14

and they keep going, and they're all different. Yeah.

16:18

Like

16:18

Willie Barcelon, like, I never sadly

16:20

Willie. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I

16:22

thought yeah, goes down. Yeah.

16:24

And what I and what I didn't know about him is

16:26

that he's more like a he

16:28

would've been a fucking great professor, man,

16:30

like, professor. Yeah. He's like that lender king.

16:32

Right? Just like comes in and just he's sharp.

16:35

Yeah. But when I when I first started, it was,

16:37

like, trying to find my voice. That's the thing about --

16:39

Yeah. -- like the other your your struggles the first couple

16:41

of five years trying to figure out who you are. I was

16:43

trying to be this white comment. Yeah.

16:45

And it just fucking No. I understand. if

16:48

you honey. You were the little. You were the Of course.

16:50

You're trying to, you know, trying to, like Like, what kind of friends

16:52

do you? Like, would you come in the vans? Will the vans

16:54

and type vans in the hood? a little string and

16:56

come a ride on there. See, I a I had a deer

16:58

don't even mean nothing in it. I had

17:01

Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. I had nothing in it,

17:03

man. Hey, man. Hey, man. I had nothing in it. I had nothing in feel like I saw you

17:05

white boys fucking looking at him, and I was like, oh, yeah. Me

17:07

too. I gotta go over my nose. Look at No.

17:10

Not really. Just to feel the turtle

17:12

with nothing. Whatever. gonna bring him

17:14

my fucking notes in there. And

17:17

then I just see them what I

17:19

go back to, like, prior hearing you and

17:22

and I just like the stories because the thing about

17:24

what I saw you and and actually

17:26

because I'm on here a bit of, like, when I saw why

17:28

you crying, I saw my life.

17:30

Mhmm. And I was like, damn. And and you took me

17:32

out of in living room, my parents. Yeah.

17:34

I saw somebody going through what I complained

17:36

about, what I didn't like, and you made it funny,

17:39

the man get up bit. Yeah. But they're tasting the

17:41

same man that had me dying.

17:43

I didn't I didn't think we I had

17:45

met some it who lived the life I lived. Right. So

17:47

when you came up or when when that came

17:50

out, it changed everything. Everything

17:52

to be like,

17:53

Oh, you know what? I

17:55

gotta be true to myself. So what you did,

17:57

would you open doors for people like me

17:59

to say my life -- Yeah. -- because

18:01

You made it universal. And that to me

18:03

was like, man, I'm always gonna be grateful to

18:05

your special because I'm happy, man. That that that why

18:08

are you crying? Change everything

18:10

from me. I was like, my whole like, blueprint

18:12

of what I thought comedy was. It's like, nah, it's

18:14

not trying to cater as being true

18:16

to who you are -- Right. -- and tell your own true stories

18:18

because no one would take that away. Right. Like,

18:21

yours. Yours no one can take that And, you know, when

18:23

they and when they tell you that they don't get it

18:25

because you're not they're not Latinos, it's

18:27

bullshit.

18:28

Yeah. Because when no what he knew me.

18:30

And was talking about not going to the doctor

18:32

or drinking seven up or taking the ice from inside

18:34

the freezer and making a fucking snow cone

18:36

out of whatever you know, root beer or,

18:39

you know, the the ice tastes like fish

18:42

or all the all the thing, you know. I

18:44

see right there. When he lived at

18:46

like that. Or if you can't make that up. Or the fact that

18:48

grandmother said, if you if you didn't drink a Pepsi,

18:51

she would put a new fucking towel

18:53

in there and she goes, you're not drinking another

18:55

one till you finish that one. fucking taste

18:57

like black olive juice. Yeah. All

18:59

the carbonation was done. I got all

19:01

you don't have Oh, boy. That thing you

19:03

guys don't have one of the refrigerator. It is a

19:06

with a bucket of pappelito to keep the combination,

19:09

because I have some fucking bullshit. Go have

19:11

up it. And -- I knew that. --

19:13

it's all of those things that when somebody

19:15

can, you know, paint the picture for you

19:17

and

19:17

then, you know, you start to be

19:20

able to to to see

19:22

the things that even if they even

19:24

if they hurt -- Yeah. that's

19:27

when you know they're on the on your when they fucking

19:29

when they hurt, when they, you know, when they

19:31

hurt you, and you can still make people

19:34

laugh. Yeah. I think I think I don't know if it's

19:36

a cocktail, but when we talk about. Like, we have

19:38

stories about, like, spanking stories that

19:40

makes us laugh. Man, like, if you're able to

19:42

play it, they didn't grab me. And when they hit my

19:44

brother, and it's like, it was a fucked up situation

19:46

for fuck is it funny? You start dying. You're

19:49

like, what happened? Dude,

19:50

he grabbed my mom and grabbed him. And he felt

19:52

he kicked them again. I

19:53

was like, we're dying. Why

19:55

do you oh my god. It's drama. Yeah. Yeah.

19:58

Is he okay? He's good. No. No. No.

19:59

He's not. That's the funny. He's not. He's

20:02

the watch on Twickers. Like, we love

20:04

that shit. up with us.

20:07

We we live next door with a guy, and he

20:09

goes, he goes, we gotta get out of here, man. go, how come he

20:11

goes? I fucking do drinks next door, and

20:13

then he comes out. And the

20:15

the the sun is chasing the dead with

20:17

a ballot developed. I hit him. I

20:20

run across the back. He's like, this is like,

20:22

Jared. I'm gonna point

20:24

ACH jerry in the back. I'm gonna see you.

20:30

die. Jerry. Not

20:33

a point of sale. Yeah. Fucking

20:35

the market guy. It was like, they're they're coming

20:37

up. Wow. Yeah. And I'm,

20:39

like, fucking Jay, call, please. Fuck. And

20:41

they fucking fight every day, man. Fuck you. Don't

20:43

go away. If fucking driving away, you look up. But,

20:46

Jay, and fucking I

20:48

said, no. No. No. He goes, no. I fucking mad.

20:51

They fight every day. Like, I said, jerry.

20:54

Call a police, not you, too. and

20:56

Jerry, man. Fuck. And they every

20:58

day like cuckoo clock, ten fifty Jerry.

21:02

I'm gonna put a step up. And the dash

21:04

chasing the the sun chasing the fucking kicking

21:06

the dead side even though fucking Yeah. You're fucking

21:08

there's my day fucking ripped together. You

21:10

know, let's check because I fuck it.

21:12

Yeah. Let's go cash and check. Fuck

21:14

me real quick.

21:16

But, you know, those are the things that if it

21:18

was like anybody, like, you think about

21:20

dudes like you know, where

21:22

they would be talking about the fucking airplane

21:24

too much. You know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

21:27

Like, the service came in the one liner, like,

21:29

four like and I would be a laughing

21:31

like just like how and why bored

21:34

and I'm just like, maybe it's not my style,

21:36

but I like truth. I like real

21:38

old place. I like comedy KKII

21:41

could I could I lived that. So I understand

21:43

that, you know. But that that's I know it's it's

21:45

just not for me. when you had when you got a When

21:47

you got your own rhythm -- Yeah.

21:49

-- you can make you can make your

21:52

own you know, what what

21:54

is about? Mayweather fights like side way behind

21:56

the on the aisle. When you do that fight

21:58

sideways, you see? And you see, like, that works,

22:00

you know. I saw

22:02

I mean, I'm I knew everybody. Yeah. I

22:05

know. It's great. And seen everybody. And,

22:07

you know, I saw George Carlin in the

22:09

Pasadena playhouse just amazing.

22:11

That's great. amazing. man. Yeah. But you were around

22:13

the greatest, like Yeah. The fact that was you were

22:15

the other film. Fuck as it. You were friends with

22:17

Richard, like, Richard -- Right. -- like, the fact that you even

22:19

got to, like, MENA was it's just amazing to me,

22:22

man. dude. That was the bin, like, if

22:24

I could reach your prior. I think you'll reach your prior.

22:26

Have you seen this I've seen this shit now. I still show

22:28

my brother, and he's still dying. on beach

22:30

one is amazing. That's the that's the We

22:33

just we sat there watching an infomercial

22:35

last night, the wife and myself. for

22:37

hundred bucks, all of Richard prior to history.

22:39

You know, if you want it on average?

22:42

Whatever. It's it's on DVD.

22:44

a lot of people don't even have DVD players anymore.

22:47

Yeah. He's got all shit. God, shit,

22:49

man. And now for a limited time

22:52

now, wanna go time magazine. The

22:54

best of George Gold ball. Yeah.

22:57

But these these assets

23:00

were gone forever. No. They're

23:02

not. know? Look, Richard, probably,

23:04

every one of them, every one of the ones that he showed

23:06

old stuff, new stuff. It was it was

23:08

killing Oh. What's your favorite Richard

23:10

bit? You know what? a joke. But you know what the this

23:12

what is coming out about Richard Pryor, which is which is

23:14

which is true is that the motherfucker

23:16

had, like, the bill facilitating stage

23:19

fright. Right. Deilitating

23:21

stage fright. Wow. And it's just coming out.

23:23

Like, we had the the same manager and

23:26

whenever he was gonna do any

23:28

show, but he did show in San Francisco, I

23:30

think it's something I said at

23:32

one of those. And in the afternoon, he

23:34

would say motherfucker, I can't do the

23:36

show. It's three o'clock Richard. You

23:38

gotta do the show. My motherfucker, I can't it.

23:40

I can't. I can't do it motherfucker. God,

23:43

we'll do it tomorrow. It's like, no. No. No.

23:45

No. So now you gotta stay from three

23:48

till nine with him. so

23:50

that you get him to do the show because

23:52

he doesn't want to. Why?

23:54

He's scared. That's nervous. And

23:56

he's like, I I stays bright. And

23:59

in one thing where he starts I hope

24:01

I'm fighting. He does that. Mhmm. And he says and

24:03

this guy is like, yeah motherfucker and somebody heckled

24:05

him and he clicks Dawn, and

24:07

then he became Richard Pryor. Wow.

24:09

But in the beginning of that

24:11

album, he says, I hope I'm funny.

24:14

And he said, yeah. a bug, you better be, better

24:16

be fun. That's sad. And he he

24:18

needed an adversary

24:21

moment. Like like the thing my legal journeys

24:23

that that guy said, hey, man. Nice nice game,

24:25

Mike. Mhmm. And and he's they

24:27

scorched the dude, but it was was made

24:29

up in his head like, he needed it to Oh, you

24:31

need that little spark to just go in. Yeah. You go

24:33

in the zone. Yeah. Would you get nervous? I

24:36

used

24:36

to get nervous. Yeah. I used to I get nervous.

24:38

Fuck, man. I still get nervous. Like,

24:40

but

24:41

when I'm on, I'm on, like, when I'm on chasing grid

24:43

of mic, it's like it's like a fight. Once you get hit,

24:45

like, alright, I know the strength, I know the feeling Alright.

24:47

Cool.

24:48

That'll

24:49

I I do get I'm not gonna I do get nervous.

24:51

I'm not mad. How how was your let's

24:53

say, how did the how did the children or

24:55

what were with the children. Yeah. The

24:57

slick do I swear? I agree.

25:00

I mean, I IPS isn't funny. Wait.

25:02

I have one. Chorroir. Chorroir.

25:04

Chanel. You have I me as my bucket. Well,

25:06

you gotta buy my car. And

25:09

and it happened to me in an Ontario impromptu.

25:12

Look, the wings. Don't get to me. Connex.

25:14

Don't get the week. Like that. I'm gonna

25:16

be on that week. a fucking nerd nerd.

25:18

That part of the week. see yay.

25:20

That shit fucking started. Dri and

25:22

I'm, like, fuck out It had a

25:24

joke where I said, a little dance balloon. I'm like, oh, what's

25:26

happening right now? Oh, shit. Oh,

25:29

shit. Oh, shit. I'm waiting for that fucking light. I never got

25:31

a a sad ass. It's all night. I'm

25:33

loud. Man. I'm gonna say my name was,

25:35

like, good night. And how and how does it

25:37

how does it affect you? Does it matter to the show or

25:39

or it has to be a big show? Or In a way, it's

25:41

every show, every show because I I don't

25:44

know what it is, but I go in it. I'm in it.

25:46

I'm not giving you, like, a high class

25:48

routine. I'm I'm giving you my moment. I'm in

25:50

me as a child, me as a, like Right. Yeah.

25:52

Yeah. So I get lost and I'm in it and I have

25:54

to connect with you -- Yeah. -- the audience. Yeah.

25:56

And if I'm not connecting, that the

25:59

fears. Like, are we connected today? Like, that

26:01

don't know. I just when I said,

26:03

I wanna I wanna give you everything, but that's,

26:05

like, been act that's like being an actor too, like,

26:07

you know, comedians that they they would say

26:10

and III think it's true that that Yeah.

26:12

comedians can't act. And But

26:15

they're doing an act.

26:16

But an an actor, you

26:18

know, comedian are doing, you know, we're doing this.

26:20

A. And then the dude came in. AAAAAAA

26:24

you over here. Yeah. So but then when you're acting

26:27

and you do a you do a singer, you do a partner,

26:29

you do you even go up do do an audition, and

26:31

you have to be like this. But if they go,

26:33

yeah. And then Jim came in and says, hey, Jim.

26:35

Come on, Vas. And they're like, no. No. No. No.

26:37

No. You gotta be Yeah. You're you're you're

26:39

Yeah. -- you're a After my it's not you. It's the character.

26:42

I've got a speaker's hand. Yeah. Without

26:44

knowing it,

26:46

you're the you know how there's two sprinklers, one

26:48

that sprays straight, and then you for the

26:50

little button. Yeah. And then it

26:52

goes back. have to be both.

26:55

Yeah. You have to be this on stage.

26:57

And then when audition and you have to be another

27:00

fucking person. That's true. You have to be another person.

27:02

That's true. That's the one I saw though. Why are you crying?

27:04

You said at the you said, I didn't look at

27:06

any notes. This is all I'm just ready.

27:08

And I was like, you see, that's because I know

27:10

you're in it. And you can tell me you see it.

27:12

You're fucking in it. And I'm like, oh, this

27:14

was like not even here with us. He's in his fucking

27:17

world. That's true. And you're and we're we're

27:19

seeing your childhood as, like, full, like -- Yeah.

27:21

-- that to me was crazy to watch.

27:23

That? It's Yeah. Yeah. And I

27:26

watched the manga. I watched And Sandra Bullock

27:28

was there, like, we were we we had already done

27:30

the show. And she was and I said, can I bring

27:32

you out? And she's like, Yeah. Yeah.

27:35

And I wanted to. But I'm glad I didn't because,

27:37

you know, she was like, no. Don't breathe. This

27:39

about you. And

27:42

also, you have

27:44

to be able to see

27:47

you have to be able to see it. You know, if you have

27:49

you have to have instincts of good instincts of

27:51

of whatever of this, of that they But

27:53

as a comedian man, you can't

27:55

just think about yourself as a comedian.

27:58

You have to be able to think, I wanna do

28:00

this. and I wanna do that. And

28:02

I wanna do a special and I wanna do a

28:04

special in Texas. And I wanna

28:06

do a special in my hometown. And I wanna do a

28:08

special there. Anything that's out of

28:10

the the norm of your comfort. Like,

28:12

I did my special fuck it live. Fuck

28:15

it live, man. And the one in the as

28:17

it wasn't in Texas. Right? Fuck it. Eighty

28:19

five. Fuck it. Have you're fucking you need a stumbley.

28:22

Right? I'm fucking nervous because Yeah. This shit

28:24

is alive. You're alive. I mean, fuck. I remember

28:26

that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Life. So

28:28

in a tone you. So it's great. So it's like

28:31

Tolodirka, Chicago. That's right. And the name

28:33

and the name Tolodirka. So the name

28:35

a kid that goes to winter

28:38

Irvine called college, had a Chicago

28:40

study class in Irvine. First of all, I totally

28:42

do. First of all, what

28:44

you got to study, you're gonna learn and play

28:46

Irvine. And

28:54

and and the guy said to be the government, I

28:56

remember that college kids said that that his

28:58

professor said that Chicago was a derogatory

29:01

fucking term. Oh. And I said fuck him. That

29:03

motherfucker. That bullshit. Chicago I was

29:05

like, I I somebody that was born here --

29:07

Yeah. -- that's here. You know, I said,

29:09

this is what I did. When you come from Mexico

29:12

and you get here and you're drinking beer, take your

29:14

shirt off. And when you're born here, you

29:15

keep your shirt off. You can have So I I

29:18

saw a lot of things I like, a basketball

29:20

player. The shirts and the skin the

29:22

scans are from Mexico and the shirts I'm

29:24

gonna I never took my fucking shirt off. And the dude

29:26

is a guy. No shirt

29:28

off. people who have hair or other people that fuck

29:31

but I fuck their branch worker. Yeah.

29:33

You fucking get the hairy dick. Every

29:35

paz the hock. The paz rolled up when I fuck

29:37

a snake belt, but I'm a snake belt,

29:39

close the shoe. Financials. That's not the

29:41

fuck lot of shit. That the tire, they

29:43

fucking blew out their Big Sandoz. So

29:47

That's fucking true. That's fucking true. That's fucking fucking fucking

29:49

nigga. man, car more than shit. Like, man,

29:51

the cat and a spider, like, this is not a real sandal. Let's

29:53

look fucking tired. Cut the fucking

29:56

swing down a big shoes right there. So

29:59

Interesting. I said I told I told the guy

30:01

I told the kid. I said, hey, man. I'm gonna do a

30:04

a special show. And I'm gonna and

30:06

I'm not maybe I didn't try to put Tucano

30:08

in the thing you're somewhere. Right? And

30:10

then they

30:13

said,

30:14

tall, dark, and handsome. Yeah.

30:16

And I was like, who we can't Who we can't

30:18

say? Tall, darken. I said, man,

30:21

tall darkened she got no.

30:23

Fuck a title, man. Yeah. Fuck it. It's

30:25

a great The fucking title, man. fucking

30:28

fucking came to me as somebody said, tall, darkened,

30:31

and and handsome. You know what I

30:33

mean? Like, what I loved about you when you were fucking

30:35

when you did America's Mexican,

30:37

he said,

30:37

fuck that. boutle, the fuck.

30:40

That fuck, that bootle bit. May

30:42

my father, my dad was like, I

30:53

had. because

30:58

he he was a voice for us. And then we

31:00

were out from Arizona. on for two songs. So we all

31:02

wanted to say that to him. You said or 555

31:06

And in and two gigs. And you said

31:08

in front of that shit was so that was

31:10

like And that's the first time I said FTP. Oh,

31:12

that's special. So, you know, you hyped

31:14

everybody up on George Bush, Mark, fact

31:16

that with the way. My dad was like, k.

31:18

Weigh was bought. You got a part of the horse.

31:21

They're fucked. They're fucked up. They're

31:23

fucked up. because they're all because, like, you

31:25

know, image repairs Timid. Eric was surprised.

31:27

But you didn't when Eric was promised, he didn't

31:30

say double fuck that. No. Double fuck. Double damn

31:32

surprised. Well, you know that and they said always, you know, in

31:34

a frame, you give them a twenty, they give you a change for

31:36

ten year. Like, hey, you gave them a twenty. I don't know. No.

31:38

No. No. No. No. No. No. into

31:44

construction with my uncle. They they shot him a

31:46

little bit. He's like, no. I

31:48

They're

31:51

gonna fire me. They're gonna fire me.

31:54

You deserve your next twenty. Hey.

31:56

Come on. I don't know. I'll close your tools. Yeah.

31:58

I'll fuck him. But Yeah. And I'm aware

31:59

of telling him he's apologized man. Tony, this

32:02

guy, he don't know. He's like, he's

32:06

like, man. Dude, here's your twenty. So so

32:08

So Yeah. It's not a big deal. No. It's not a

32:10

big deal. The fuck you. So yeah.

32:13

HV would always come and see me like the week before.

32:15

Yeah. they would approve this stuff. So

32:19

then Tuesday, I call

32:21

HBO out to the lady next I

32:24

I have got a letter about this name, but

32:26

And they said, well, I had Aaron, like, you

32:28

know, all the people from

32:30

him. That's it. I said,

32:32

listen, I don't

32:34

I don't think I should I

32:36

don't think should say some that

32:39

photo to the president. I

32:41

just think it's little too much. I mean, it's right at

32:43

the beginning -- Yeah. -- and I

32:45

just think it's it's a weird set of tone.

32:47

I don't know. needed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then

32:49

the the fucking Nancy said to me, would Richard

32:52

Pryor -- Oh. -- would

32:54

Richard Pryor -- Yeah. --

32:56

that would a high real to, like, fuck

32:58

that put the Richard Fire Call and

33:00

say, I don't wanna do that. Damn. And

33:02

I said, I got you.

33:05

Thank you. You see? Mhmm. I wouldn't

33:07

hype me up too. That was double fucked up with

33:09

you. You know, I mean, it was special call fucked up

33:11

with them. Right. She And it's a but isn't

33:13

it a far man like we have? It's fucking it's

33:16

it's fucking nerve racking, man. Yeah. But

33:18

isn't it fucking fun? Oh, it's the best fucking

33:20

feeling. You know what it is? It's all that thing

33:22

I went through as a kid not getting the attention. I

33:25

needed. No. And it's like that center of attention is

33:27

what was looking for, and I just feel like

33:29

out here, I'm I'm trying to figure it out, but up

33:31

there, it's like I got it. I found what

33:34

it is that's filling that. Yep.

33:36

But outside, I'm still trying to be

33:38

a better me, but up there, it's like, I don't

33:40

know. It's like I just feel like I

33:42

have control. But you know what? And

33:44

and

33:45

in

33:47

and as far as as far as shows

33:49

go, like, I saw Drew

33:52

Carey lived I saw Drew Carey

33:54

in his car. Living in his car.

33:57

That guy. And I saw him do the tonight show

33:59

you guys fucking Johnny Carson called him over. He was

34:01

a fucking star the next day. The next

34:03

fucking day. Bruce Alfred. I

34:05

saw Tim Allen in Indianapolis before

34:08

home improvement, and he had a showtime special

34:10

called, like, more power and it was a little

34:12

too big. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

34:14

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. And from fucking a to z?

34:19

and show was there. Yeah. You just start

34:21

to see these guys, and they

34:23

had the show in them. Like,

34:25

they were creative show. Yeah. And I didn't

34:27

I didn't I was set it back as a man.

34:30

I don't I

34:31

don't have that. I don't have I'm

34:33

the only child. I'm the and then went

34:35

to Carolinas in the early nineties and

34:37

Dave Becky was one

34:40

of Chris Rock's managers of three yards, Michael

34:42

Rosenberg, now my manager thirty years

34:44

later. And Dave Becky came to see me.

34:46

DeBecker was the manager of the improv in San

34:48

Diego. He came to see me just

34:50

because was in town as a big manager. Chris Rauch's

34:52

manager. Yeah. He says, hey, after what you could say,

34:54

man, can I give you some constructive criticism.

34:57

I said, yeah. He goes, when

34:59

I see you, man, I don't know what you like. I don't know where

35:01

your politics are. I don't know you have a family. I don't know

35:03

if you're married. I don't know if there's gotta be somebody

35:05

in your family that was funny. Like, what is it?

35:07

Like I see, it's just kind of a lot of the

35:10

same stuff. And and I was

35:12

like, Wow,

35:14

man. Like, wow. And I

35:16

remember

35:16

thinking he's gonna be somebody in your family

35:19

that's funny, man. Like, it's it's like,

35:21

yeah, you know, I'd say, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then

35:23

I walked back to the and I said, my grandmother.

35:26

Oh. And and and when I started

35:28

when I started doing that, it was over,

35:30

man. Yeah. that tough person -- It was

35:32

over. -- will definitely bring out the

35:34

funny. And my dad was that that guy It wasn't that

35:37

strong, but, like, my dad was that where I

35:39

was trying to get a fucking

35:41

compliment with you. compliment. I

35:43

would tell him I wanna be an astronaut, astronaut. You

35:45

just be the biggest astronaut. But,

35:47

you know, you know, that's not being in the That's

35:51

the whole thing. It's like I can never

35:53

be that. 0I1I gotta

35:55

be in the spelling song I haven't

35:58

spelled this. And it's like, so big ass fucking we're

35:59

in practice that word, you know, you're fucking

36:02

my pencil. And

36:04

then Let's see.

36:06

You're like, dude. But but if

36:08

they're not fucking hard on you, man, it's like Oh,

36:10

what what would have been? We would have been what? They're

36:12

they're they're they're no fuck a good choice either. Yeah.

36:14

There's no choice. Yeah. That that that

36:17

this is due to Abraham's dad was a fucking rat

36:19

toy. He comes over there fighting the they system.

36:21

He goes, you wanna go big Donald Yeah.

36:23

Get a paper because I'm your ass. I'm not

36:26

taking you to McDonald's. You're not

36:28

taking that fucking McDonald's. My dad,

36:30

wait, the lohoo, my dad would take me out for

36:32

fucking. I would do sports. Congrats. I can

36:34

start my dad. Anyway, you want a burrito.

36:37

lemon. I'm like, oh, yeah. You will

36:40

drive up to the fucking drive through dog and just

36:42

pull out. because those are quicker

36:44

way to get out to the street. oh,

36:46

we wanted a fucking Hi, locals. Your mom

36:48

made beans. Mom. We took it out

36:50

of my mom. Dude, my mom's like, nicely cool. There's no

36:52

other one. Get one of that shit. You're

36:54

the inspector mom. a lot of pictures of the product

36:57

out on Google. But it's because that's

36:59

what it's funny to us, and other people are like,

37:01

that is true. That is so terrible. How

37:03

did you How why he do that? What about where they would

37:05

make beans and then they would get cold. The fuck.

37:07

The the the the fucking the lard on top of

37:09

the, like, a fucking skinny ring. skinny

37:12

I walk the brother center in the front of him.

37:14

Right? He's he's walking grease right there.

37:17

Okay. And then you and then you're gonna

37:19

go in there, my grandma's my fucking that much fuck

37:21

grease green. And she would turn the fire on and

37:23

just turn stir it back again. Yeah.

37:25

I can understand. This is the one that look like

37:27

The one that everybody fucking died y'all.

37:30

Oh, wow. your how was your grandfather waiting

37:32

day twenty ninth? Yeah. Hey.

37:35

Those are the best beans, though. Oh,

37:38

jeez. I have to talk above the fucking bacon

37:40

grease and the Folgers can with the bacon

37:42

grease in there. And on

37:44

the on the stove, they would have a you know,

37:46

they would have a not

37:47

chalk full of nuts because that was a high

37:49

profile chef. Oh, Drew. Yeah.

37:52

You know, not like the Cubas Okay.

37:56

Hey. Then I went to Cayocho,

37:58

you know, the the cuban, they

37:59

they go Okay. a

38:02

little fucking Allison wondered like

38:04

Allison wondered the little fucking thing.

38:06

Oh, that's so kind of the little fucking sport oil.

38:08

I wonder like There's a fucking mad, mad fucking

38:12

rabbit. And then I fucking stir it. I

38:14

drink it at the water when I talk to everyone

38:17

at John Roy. You too.

38:19

For the for the special went to New York, and it's

38:21

like my mom and dad, and my dad's not used to

38:24

being anywhere. You know? But we went to

38:26

an Italian restaurant. to be there anywhere. You

38:28

know, you should see that guy. Fuck. I'll tell you

38:30

the that move. With the Italian restaurants are a nice

38:32

one. I see. like, I'm a pay. I'm a fucking and

38:35

he wanted coffee. He's like, I'm gonna pay. They

38:37

probably have an espresso. and

38:39

grab the guy for, you know, touch the waiters.

38:41

Yeah. Hey, sir. There's no game. Like,

38:43

I want coffee, Colorado. And I don't want this.

38:45

Got them. Got you have vultures you have.

38:48

And the guys like, oh, we have a latte. I

38:54

wanna eat coke. Get them get them. Go, man.

38:56

Then they brought the portions that were all fucking in there.

38:59

Yeah. I definitely see. Got the portions.

39:01

I wanna eat come on anyway. No.

39:03

No. Don't ever bring me here again. And

39:06

he's so much like paid and he's like for that.

39:08

No. The whole day, dude, he was talking

39:10

about, look at it Ninety nine cents pizza.

39:13

That's all I want. I said, yeah. That's the

39:15

one. I'm like, fuck your life. Be like,

39:17

I'm trying to show you something nice. Yeah.

39:19

He's like, how the whole day. He's talking about,

39:21

like, oh, you could've done with that hundred and fifty.

39:24

You could've done this for hundred and fifty for a hundred and

39:26

fifty. Not me or not you the grace period.

39:28

Fuck it. Oh, yeah. You

39:31

said seen in the whole trip, bro. He was fucking

39:33

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jobs dot com slash shift.

40:02

Make the shift. Make a difference. Did

40:04

you do the the the what was that in New York? In New

40:06

York, in the Chelsea hall. The Chelsea

40:08

hall. Yeah.

40:09

was a it was scary because I I got there

40:12

on Sunday. We're filming on Thursday, and they wanted

40:14

me to do some, like, spots. Yeah. I never

40:16

been in New York. And I brought my two check

40:18

this one out here. I brought my family, I brought

40:20

my girlfriend, my mom, my dad, I flew them out.

40:22

They're with me. We land. They got the

40:24

camera crew, and we're gonna hit up a spot. They're following

40:26

me around. I'm nervous. I'm like, hey, chill with the camera.

40:29

Now we're gonna show you the grind

40:31

and -- Yeah. -- and I'll go to the first comedy club, New

40:33

York executed like, hey, what's all the way? What's

40:35

going on? What's all this? And it's like, oh, he's doing

40:37

this special for who? HBO? Or

40:39

what? I I didn't go see

40:41

what's up. I let me say my name. It's just

40:43

your next. Everybody in the green room goes

40:46

to watch me. But

40:47

I'm sweat. I'm fucking

40:48

nervous. They got the guy in the with

40:50

the camera. Yeah. I go up, dude. My

40:52

dad is watching my girl. Everybody. H.

40:54

P. was there. I bombed so

40:56

hard. because the pressure, I could in

40:59

real I could in the small stage. I tried to do my

41:01

act up. I'm fucking talking fast.

41:03

And then do you I knew I fucked up with camera group,

41:05

but the camera guy was, like, he fucked this. It's

41:15

it's okay. It's okay. And I was like embarrassed.

41:18

And then my dad my dad getting in my head

41:20

too. He's like, hey, sir, are you sure? You know,

41:22

I you

41:25

sure? because they bought the hotel, they're gonna make

41:27

us pick them on. They

41:30

took us out to dinner, and they're gonna make me put

41:32

the last bill. And I'm like, oh,

41:35

fuck, dude. And it took me two

41:37

days to kind of snap at it. It's like, I'm in my

41:39

head and it's because of New York and the whole

41:41

and I I saw David tell, and I

41:43

was in my I gotta be like, damn it.

41:45

No. I'm myself. I'm myself. So

41:47

You know what? think it's probably a good thing that

41:50

that happened. Okay. Because

41:52

you'd rather have it happen there

41:54

than than to go and kill

41:56

and be like, oh, man. got it. And then take

41:59

it for granted, like No. That's what I've never

42:01

done. I always have that in my head too. I'm always like, when

42:03

it's too good, I'm like, something bad. It's

42:05

around the corner. I don't know if that's Yeah. don't

42:07

know, but I'm always like, that's

42:09

like something bad is gonna happen. I'm I

42:12

always have that. Like And it's so good to

42:14

be true. and it's sort of fucking like

42:17

it's never easy. Mhmm. But

42:20

when it's going your weight It's like it's like

42:22

gambling do. When it's going your way, everything

42:25

goes your way. Like, it's all it's

42:28

all good. And then you can hit a fucking

42:30

stretch of shit where you're just like, man, fuck

42:32

this, man. Like -- Yeah. -- like, but, you

42:34

know, when I, like, being an

42:36

only child and then my grand my grandparents not

42:38

given a fuck about that about me

42:40

and, you know, and wanting to perform, you

42:43

know, and then I they they were they were going

42:45

door to door with a fucking accordion to give a

42:47

in less than eleven. You're gonna get a cordip. And

42:49

I said I said I said I said, grab a I wanna put

42:51

a cordip. I'll

42:54

be up. And so I got a yard

42:56

you should clean. La Paine de accordion. It was

42:58

about fucking thirty ten

43:01

lessons -- Yeah. -- for, like, thirty

43:03

dollars. Oh, shit. And

43:07

I went to two of the ten. And the

43:11

rest of my life, I either listen about

43:13

the fucking accordion. Yeah. I've heard

43:16

thirty year old man grandma love to our senior.

43:18

And are you sure You get into the

43:20

accordion. You're gonna

43:22

play the fucking accordion on hold. That's right

43:24

here and take the fucking man. Oh, you see

43:26

how to let that go? Fuck wasn't been

43:28

a tough mess. Puerto Rico fucking

43:30

accordion. Right. And then

43:33

and then fuck.

43:36

That's of, like, a lot of programming to,

43:38

like I never remember. She

43:40

sounds so funny. What did she say when

43:42

told her you wanted to be a comedian, George. Oh.

43:45

Yeah. What did you say? I'm funny that you're taking

43:48

it. It's my director too.

43:52

The night of pilot, you know, that wasn't an actor,

43:54

you know, that'd take a little bit longer. That took a long

43:56

time. And, you know, with Bruce,

43:58

you know, for Sandra there,

43:59

but there.

44:01

Shook for Mike. Fucking forever. I wanna make

44:03

sure you got the the moments, you know, sit there. Let

44:05

the audience go. Grandma's there. Fucking

44:07

drive home at two third in the morning. My grandma's just

44:09

looking right ahead. And

44:10

I'm driving her and get close to her.

44:12

I'll ramp right there on the five freeway Central Mission.

44:15

I said, what I said, what'd you say,

44:17

grandma? And without

44:19

even at. You wanna know? Yes. And

44:24

I and I said, yeah. And she's never

44:26

looked at me. She's looking straight at she goes, if

44:28

I were to know I was gonna take that long, I wanna

44:30

stay home. Oh, fuck

44:34

it. That's fucking up. And I'm looked at

44:37

her and she never looked at me. Yeah. And

44:40

I said,

44:41

wow, man. Wow. And

44:43

I and I said, wow. And

44:46

and I told the Ali I told the

44:48

New York Times that and then and

44:51

then the New York Times did a calendar thing

44:53

on me in the front page of the calendar in the New

44:55

York Times, and it said, a life so

44:57

sad. It had to be funny.

45:00

And I and I thought, wow,

45:02

man. It was a that fucking bad,

45:04

like and then I got

45:06

him time magazine. And

45:09

the guy wrote George Lopez talks

45:11

about his grandmother. He should thank

45:13

her because that's

45:15

the mews to his entertainment

45:18

-- Yeah. -- his his grandmother. And

45:20

and I said,

45:23

What do

45:24

you think of the character on the show grandma?

45:26

You know what mean? She says,

45:28

you made me nice. Fucking salesman. You made me

45:30

nice. girl. It's a tough one right here.

45:33

The woman, I was, like, trip out when a when

45:35

a relative's like that. I was at first, I

45:37

was very like, judge you and my dad, but then I realized

45:39

how he grew up, and I'm like, I was a little bit more understanding

45:42

of why he

45:43

became Can you imagine, man? Like like, what would your

45:45

what would your dad do when he was fucking like, he had a young

45:47

he was fucking working. And, fuck. He will tell me

45:49

every day. He's like, look. Look. Look. Look. Look.

45:51

Look. I already had a job. I couldn't have a wife gonna.

45:53

I couldn't have had kids because they wanna be a fucking

45:56

community he he tells

45:58

me no. He's like, shit, I've been a comedian. I'm funny

45:59

to hear the doctor. I'm a guy. I

46:02

I every year when when I wasn't like,

46:05

getting anything done. I was getting paid when I first started.

46:07

If I was I'm gonna go to show you his

46:09

his passing way. Do you know what he did to me?

46:11

You know what he did to me? He fucking took me to pair my

46:13

pictures to he says, I'm gonna take you

46:15

somewhere. Trevor, I'm gonna pick because he got that.

46:17

I didn't have the balls to go tell him a ball.

46:19

He doesn't look like that. I just have to go and tell

46:21

him, hey. Come on, you're very nice. I was like,

46:23

hey. And it we walked in there and it was a writer strike.

46:26

It was during the writer strike. Yeah. It was like the I

46:28

don't know. But it was like, yeah. fire or something like

46:30

that. But do it up. And the fucking writers

46:32

were a fucking marching to white, but doesn't want,

46:34

you know Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're they're fucking insurance.

46:36

They're not getting rights. And my dad's

46:38

like, He kept one. got a sir. Yeah.

46:41

If I can. He is ready. He's ready.

46:43

He's like, for whatever. He's ready. He's

46:45

a comedian. He's fine. He's ready. He wants to -- Oh,

46:47

I'm ready. And I'm that. It's not a whole word.

46:49

So process, like, you

46:52

need to go tell them. Yeah. Where? Dude,

46:54

I'm like, it's not that easy. He literally took me

46:56

to Paramount Pictures Group outside. Fuck.

46:58

It was fucking I couldn't believe it. The people

47:01

were laughing. They knew what my dad was trying to

47:03

do. So they were like, it's fine. Here's our car. Just

47:05

Get you to act You're that this is a pro. I appreciate

47:08

it. What's up? You know, you're always traveling.

47:10

You're unlocking. I had stopped go

47:13

in there, come on. Going there. And I fucking

47:15

He did tell me one thing that made sense and I did

47:17

do was I became a at the

47:20

Hollywood and probably became washer to

47:22

get in, you know. Oh, wow. Yeah. Dude, I

47:24

came in as a dishwasher. Oh, shit. I didn't know that.

47:27

Yeah. Yeah. I walked I walked in. I was with I was

47:29

working with people and the manager and

47:31

that, you know, was very timid because everybody wanted

47:33

stage time. And I saw how Rita was very nice.

47:35

But you know what? The best how they fucking did it, man.

47:37

Like, that's how he did it. Yeah. Like, back in New York

47:39

and then it was like, you know?

47:41

Yeah. My dad said, hey, don't I

47:43

don't think about my dad doing, like, he's tough and all,

47:46

but

47:46

he was

47:47

he he made it. He made it here in America. Like, he

47:49

he knows how to work the system. He's like, be in

47:51

there. Be in. If you're the hell

47:53

fuck it. You're the hell, but then show there's

47:55

gonna be an opportunity. And oh,

47:58

a lot of people, dude, that opportunity came. They needed

48:00

a comment, and I said, I can go up. They threw

48:02

me up five minutes. And after that, they kept

48:04

throwing me up every now. And if I fired fucking dishwasher,

48:07

like, my cats are wet, dude. I'm

48:09

doing the fucking chores. Wow. That's the first time I

48:11

saw Trevor Noah. And he he gave me

48:13

props. He's like, oh, he did too. Yeah. But

48:15

but yeah. I mean, it was, you know, hard. It is the fucking

48:17

grind. You know? I didn't like to talk. We don't let because

48:20

don't talk. Yeah. So we keep it timid, and

48:22

we're just ready for the opportunity gonna comps,

48:24

you better just bring it, you know. And that's

48:27

what it's been through all my career. It's been, like,

48:29

just waiting for the door to crack

48:31

in, for me to just I'm gonna run-in there when

48:33

I can. And and what do you wanna do, man? I

48:35

get are you acting? Or you want do you wanna

48:37

have a show? I want a yes. Yes. I

48:39

want the show. I want the fucking I want my

48:41

life. I want the because I think you hold your dad.

48:43

Right? You're having your dad? My mom and dad's still

48:45

married. Yeah. They're still married. They're together. My mom's the

48:47

quiet high, you know, with my dad. She complains

48:49

to me about my dad. when I stick up for her, she's like, I

48:52

didn't say that. No no no no no no no no

48:54

no. I'm your fucking stick it up for you then my dad. Like, Kandi

48:56

who who said that? It's like I'm like

48:58

my mom did and then bring my mom to

49:00

my mom to my mom. But you know, I think you

49:02

should look at you should look at your

49:05

clear mean, of course. I'm gonna fucking

49:07

advise. Yeah. Right now, once

49:10

you look at your life and see how

49:12

it it applies to a TV show.

49:15

Well, right now, working with with the

49:17

that I'm looking for, like, writers instead helping

49:19

me, like, create this because, you know, I'm very I'm trying

49:21

to write, but it's, like, I won't go all over

49:23

the place. I can go deep and they're like, oh, I need

49:25

the structures. You know, like, I'm

49:27

looking for someone who's put in time that I do a

49:29

stand up for them with the writing. Right. Just

49:32

be honest, you know. The the it's

49:35

crazy, man. I mean, when I used

49:37

to watch Drew Carey, and I was

49:39

in the nineties. I was early nineties. I was living

49:41

in Sherman Oaks, you know, and and

49:43

doing the clubs and stuff. And at the end,

49:45

it would say, created by I

49:48

drew base up drug you

49:50

carry and and Bruce Helfort.

49:52

And I would tell, Anne, where's my Bruce Helfort?

49:55

Here's the guy that's gonna help me. I'm like

49:57

that. And I've been And you know who it is. Fucking

49:59

Bruce Helfords. Bruce Helfords. Did the first one in

50:01

Bruce Helfords. I saw him today. We did the run through

50:03

the with the with show with the daughter. Yeah.

50:05

Oh. And Bruce Alford, man. By the way, I auditioned

50:08

for that. No. didn't get that. I

50:10

didn't get that. Oh, you get something else? Yeah. I

50:12

was a big company. We're a moving company. were

50:15

there. They were they were good. Yeah. I'll put you

50:17

on there. No. No. But I know what you're saying.

50:19

Like, I I've always thought about that too. But I

50:21

again, I was just like happens. Just be ready. My

50:23

thing is like, just be ready. Just be undeniable.

50:26

Kill it every time I go on that stage. Like, let

50:28

them know why. And my dad every time I hang up the phone

50:30

with him, he's always like, hey, Let

50:33

them know why. Why are you such? That's right. You miss

50:35

birthdays. Why you miss, like, you

50:37

know, upper being with the family. Every

50:39

time I go back home, I see my dad hair

50:41

getting grayer and grayer. So that

50:43

shit does to me something to me that when

50:45

I go on stage is like, I'm not like these guys, oh, I'm

50:47

gonna try this out. I gotta kill it.

50:49

Yep. I I didn't come here to try. Yep.

50:52

I came here to, like, I gotta execute. This is

50:54

what you this is what you need. And this is

50:56

what this is what found and

50:58

it and it worked. The first show they would say,

51:00

because you know that would say, well, how would you describe

51:02

the show, George? And I would

51:04

be like, how would I describe so I said, I

51:08

wanna prove to my wife, I'm a man.

51:10

And I wanna prove to my mom, I'm not

51:12

a boy. Yeah. That's it. Yeah.

51:14

That's a show. That's And that was it.

51:17

Do that. That was it. I told him you see that. And it made

51:19

it was fast. That's

51:20

good. You know, I try to prove to my wife

51:23

and to I never had a I never had a father

51:25

that I could be father to my kids.

51:27

And a a husband, to

51:30

my wife, and and my mom

51:32

wouldn't think I the fucking boy. And

51:34

it was and everything revolved

51:36

around around that fucking small

51:39

description. That's true. That's a fucking Oh,

51:41

but I of of that. You know what I'm saying? Watches.

51:43

And when you find it and you can tell somebody like

51:45

that, they go, oh, yeah.

51:47

That's interesting. wouldn't

51:57

hear pain. Like, oh, that's awesome. That's fucking

51:59

beautiful.

51:59

Oh, man. more pain the better. Because

52:02

the less they have to think, the fucking bear

52:04

the better it is. Yeah. I'm sure. When I when

52:06

I went in there with Bruce and and Robert though the guy,

52:08

we would tell stories, you know, and I would tell him about

52:10

my grandmother, and I would tell him about my grandfather

52:13

and my at this, you know, at the time

52:15

when the science Fuck it.

52:17

There. Fuck the fucking dress in. No teller.

52:19

That's fine. No teller. Everybody, my fucking dress.

52:21

Tuck the back a bucket song, AAA

52:23

sideways. I like the vazydays to me. Like,

52:26

hey, like, you see all fucking rocks.

52:28

I like the bird. I'm not when I get bird.

52:32

And when we started to write all those things

52:34

down, Bruce had already done fucking Drew Carey, then

52:36

Roseanne. And

52:38

they didn't they didn't make first time

52:42

actors or comedian's creators

52:44

of a show because because you're giving away fucking

52:46

millions dollars. Yeah. So they would say

52:49

if it was Bruce and Robert, then

52:51

Warner Bros. makes more money.

52:53

So when we started get the pilot tour, I had

52:55

to fire my mom, and we had to do a work together at

52:57

the airport factory. Oh, yeah. How's it going?

52:59

That Bruce came to me and he said, hey, man, they

53:01

don't wanna make you a creator of the show, but and

53:04

I and I even know what it meant. And he goes,

53:06

but I'm gonna go over there, and I'm gonna tell

53:08

them that without

53:10

you, there's no show. Yeah. There's

53:12

not me. It's you. Like, we're

53:14

listening to your stories, and we're writing him down.

53:16

But I can't and he that's what he said.

53:19

He told Peter rub the president. I can't

53:21

write these stories. That's right.

53:23

Like George is writing the the show. George

53:25

has to be a creator, you

53:27

know, because without him, we don't have

53:29

a show. Yeah. What's the show guys? And

53:31

that's how they fucking can't say no to you.

53:33

Mister president If you do a show, I fucking sell ice

53:35

cream in the fucking fucking fucking bullshit.

53:38

You gotta have your dad is like, you open

53:40

at a restaurant and he's like, hey, I can't

53:42

put them back back up for this. Like,

53:44

you gotta start somewhere. Right? That's

53:46

true, man. That's why your job is here is so hard.

53:48

Every episode you still see to this day, it's

53:50

like it's so honest and real that it was

53:52

undeniable. Let me tell you something. Yeah. But

53:54

I mean, I think I may have. I told the story. I got a

53:57

DUI that turned to missus Lopez thing. I told

53:59

the story. Oh, I had to do that. Thank you.

54:01

I think you have, but Okay. Gail is, like, the -- Right. --

54:03

the good one's barely repeating. No. No.

54:05

But shit that what people would say to

54:07

me, I put

54:08

I put in the I put in the show.

54:10

Yeah. That

54:11

things that real people said Right.

54:14

I put in the show. Mhmm.

54:15

Look, I have Rudy Moreno fucking in the show.

54:17

son. Hey. You know, if you can't fucking Rudy Moreno

54:20

Show, you're not getting canceled. You're doing good. get

54:22

I gotta assume tonight, eventually. But I've fucking

54:24

with his fucking little pile. Fuckin'

54:26

burden his burden admit them.

54:29

Look, if if you fall in

54:31

five and you can't create a fucking show

54:33

out of falling and fire. With that

54:36

little fucking I used to call my guys.

54:38

Alrighty. Is that what to call boots

54:40

or mittens or tennis. I was

54:42

supposed to go. He's been after me

54:44

to go tonight. Are

54:47

you doing a fucking fundraise every week. Every

54:49

week. No. For every week.

54:52

What's that? What's that? What's that? that? Like, the fucking watergate? You've

54:55

been following the money back fucking backdoor

54:57

channel. That's funny. That's funny.

54:59

That I felt like my own like that, a little

55:01

kid, I had a spot on his lungs. Yeah. Yeah. Rudy's like,

55:03

I'm literally sure. Like, I put something from right here.

55:05

You're walking. It's so funny. Once I paid for the

55:07

first one for, I felt like I was responsible. Hey,

55:09

don't just those are drinking, Doug. I already paid nothing.

55:12

Like, I invest it's saying, hey, don't be just smoking

55:14

or drinking, like, what you put money in.

55:16

I'm not doing another one, dude. Sure, Malabir. That's

55:18

okay. Yeah. fucking dumb. remember. The world's good.

55:21

seventy 18I was hopeful, well, you want

55:23

me to go to you want me to go I know. But at what point

55:25

you already become the the fucking Jerry

55:27

Lewis, a fundraiser, are they gonna raise it. Yes.

55:30

Where's all that money going? we're

55:36

we're taking alcohol. No. It's my break. Don't bother me.

55:38

I never see what you say. At the beginning, you're like,

55:40

okay. Yeah. I I and they

55:42

started to use pictures of yakuza and

55:44

people. It's fucking coming out. And you're like,

55:46

and and it shows up in your email. You're like, hey. What

55:48

the fuck is this? She's supposed to be fucking

55:50

blown out by tonight. I I know. Model

55:54

model will not be at the at at the

55:56

event, but The button was,

55:58

like, putting shrimp on a fucking

55:59

hook. You wanted me to go to

56:02

the show tonight. I was supposed to leave San Diego tonight. Oh,

56:04

no way. But I was but I was too the

56:06

day has gone on. I've been a busy day. And

56:08

then this area this came

56:11

on Thursday, the show. So

56:13

now I've decided I'm too fucking tired. I'll go

56:15

to the Oh, fucking Gillette. This is up to the man. You're

56:17

gonna say I don't know a city of the fucking

56:20

ports. I'll go and partner. Yeah.

56:22

With the partner And

56:25

the man in life. You're the man anyways. I

56:28

used to call out. I'm talking Richard Rich church.

56:31

You know, Georgia paid for one episode in the state.

56:33

He's like, hey, hey, you know, I ain't got nothing to do tomorrow. I'll be getting

56:35

alone. Jeez, I feel it. I feel

56:37

it. I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. It's like, oh,

56:40

I'll be giving me the cover. Like, hey, well, fuck it.

56:42

I'm gonna give

56:44

you guys. This week, I've had call from Texas

56:46

a and m and ASU Hey, you got To go back

56:48

there and do some stuff from but the most

56:50

exciting thing I'm doing is the guy that was

56:52

gonna bring in here, the guy that called

56:54

me up and said, I

56:56

heard your name on on radio, George

56:58

Lopez, I called in.

57:00

So I called in. Yeah. His son has a

57:03

limousine company serviced out in

57:05

Temecula. Yeah. But he serviced in San

57:07

Diego and everything. talking

57:09

about doing a taking

57:12

me out on a little wine tour.

57:15

Tour. What? for another one.

57:17

when I when they starve, when they come to my

57:19

new home life, you know, you can spend a

57:21

night deal, and we can just talk about

57:23

it. That's when they starve. Great. Down.

57:26

I send those shows on the album. You'll

57:30

be bleeding for your fucking Yo. You're physiqueers

57:32

or Yeah. I'm seventy two years old.

57:34

That shit doesn't hit me now. But what's the

57:37

fucking problem with your fucking Yeah. That's totally exactly.

57:39

You're gonna be taking it out. Hey. Where am I at?

57:42

You're in a nice place, man. Doing my coaching

57:44

your country now is doing a wine tour

57:46

-- Yeah. -- with Gill and the bus

57:48

with people -- What? -- and talk about

57:51

the stalker. I'm gonna

57:54

want to wait. I want to I want to turn and

57:56

and to make it just for the

57:57

for the fun of it. I'm gonna use them

57:59

because I

57:59

five couples is gonna go on a wine tour.

58:02

But for

58:02

him, go out and get some people up there

58:04

and just talk about it. national

58:07

treasure food. There's nothing documentary. Net

58:10

that when I saw that he was met, I was like, that's

58:12

what I was up here. I was fucking honestly

58:15

proud I'm like, that's what song do. Like, he the way

58:17

he explained his life, everything

58:18

is not playing in. We are related. We're

58:20

about starts with the with the little PSA that

58:22

I'm I'm talking like a little trendy. Like, he's trying to

58:24

be a lady My

58:28

wife asked me if I had him in

58:30

me that day. you were,

58:32

like, maybe poke you know, you wanted to be a

58:35

a little bit, but you're not going to, like, I I know

58:37

the beginning when I released this up. I don't

58:39

see what I think because then your sure got right

58:41

now. It's

58:47

been on the hand. How are we doing? kill your lucky.

58:50

Fuck buildings. And then

58:54

They're nice for lucky. Oh, my god. Because

58:58

you're basic. How

59:02

did you catch that, sir? We we saw that.

59:06

I grabbed them. How

59:09

can I help? If

59:12

I had nails, I would have scratched them.

59:18

I'll fuck a high duty up. Get

59:20

out. With the number of the bottle. Fucking

59:22

six numbers of your partner. A4A7

59:25

number seven. You

59:27

guys talk shit now. You're shit in your pants

59:29

back. other

59:32

thought, I was like, no miles, never the fact that

59:34

your family laughed at shit, I was like, damn,

59:36

that's what was doing. Why

59:38

the high school bully I was running away from it.

59:40

Hey. I I still feel the fan. didn't go to

59:42

the fucking basketball courts because that motherfucker. I

59:44

Hey. I still know my wife. We got the guy

59:47

just to get her to move out one over a weekend.

59:49

There's a lot of time. Well, like, I I went

59:51

into my high school bullhead, a fucking head at Walmart.

59:53

I never gone at Walmart. He's

59:56

so upset. Like, I'm almost

59:58

like Walmart. No. I'm good.

59:59

He

1:00:03

wants He's not fucking hilarious dude.

1:00:05

That's not fucking hilarious. No. Tell me

1:00:07

your dog. You know what, man? There's is

1:00:09

that been around? That's fucking brilliant right there.

1:00:12

because I live there fully fucking close to fucking

1:00:14

away. You're like, hey. Look, I'm probably fucking

1:00:16

I'm out. I'm I'm out. Hey. That's it.

1:00:18

I've been I've been a Walmart since. Here's

1:00:21

the Arizona. I'm in California. I'm in California. I'm in Target.

1:00:23

I'm my

1:00:26

god, bad friend. That's fucking hilarious.

1:00:28

You weren't lactating what your head comes on this guy

1:00:30

guy. Oh, you know. A hundred percent. Yeah.

1:00:33

That's fucking ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. Arizona.

1:00:35

He's right. Tucson. He's on Arizona.

1:00:37

Gary Stanley. Yeah. That's right. I

1:00:39

fucked up. When I saw his dog, I was like,

1:00:41

kid the fuck out of you. Yeah. I thought the only

1:00:43

one. I was gonna rap it on my own. Man, I

1:00:45

know you fucking Gary Stanley. Gary was a trip,

1:00:48

man. I knew Gary a lot of big Gary in nineteen seventy

1:00:50

nine. That's crazy. And he drove a he drove

1:00:52

I think he was riding on San Francisco sun

1:00:54

or shows that he had a two eighty

1:00:56

z. That's a two eighty z. Nice. And

1:00:59

and he'd pull in and he'd park right down Westwood

1:01:01

Boulevard that comes from Westwood Ernie would be over

1:01:03

there. And he had the fucking purple windbreaker,

1:01:05

and he put

1:01:06

it on him. It was all fucking wrinkled for that head

1:01:08

and that shoulder bag with it. That guy is a

1:01:10

right later. And he would say, how does how

1:01:12

does my hair look George? And I said, that's correct.

1:01:14

How did he say swear to God? I would

1:01:16

say swear to God. That's what again. How you would

1:01:18

go, how does my ass look? And I'm like Even

1:01:20

better. You know, you go, say, swear

1:01:24

to god. But his hair never gonna do

1:01:26

it. Yeah. It's all never serious.

1:01:28

Yeah. You know what's funny about those fucking comments?

1:01:31

I tripped out and I see their documentaries and, like,

1:01:33

how they didn't they just got the job They're like,

1:01:35

I rode and I'm I don't know what I was doing here. Just

1:01:37

thought I'm like, fuck it. Let me try my hardest

1:01:39

out here. And I don't get shit. Like, these

1:01:41

fools are like, like a

1:01:43

a bunch of dogs, all those So in two thousand

1:01:46

five, I hadn't seen I hadn't seen him in

1:01:48

forever. Yeah. But two thousand five, we're all hosting

1:01:50

them. He's me, Conan O'Brien, Ray

1:01:52

Romano, Brad Garrett, Gary Shannon,

1:01:54

mean, a

1:01:55

bunch of guys, I wanted to size

1:01:57

everybody. That one's like Yes. Our

1:01:59

man.

1:01:59

Yeah. It's not political. Yeah. We

1:02:04

don't on channel. You

1:02:07

didn't you didn't even the sour one, didn't even

1:02:09

bounce out. We don't have enough

1:02:11

hands out the ice cold you need it out. I'll take

1:02:13

out. I'll kill it. It's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

1:02:19

Hi, biz. I

1:02:41

got hope for worth talking. It's gonna give

1:02:43

you a base ass voice. Well,

1:02:45

God damn you. I

1:02:55

threw an IP in the freezer this. No. No. It's all good. Alright.

1:02:57

So Gary Shally, you know, I see him, man. He's like,

1:02:59

hey, you know, after so many years, you're gonna have to fucking

1:03:01

stand in backstage. And he goes, so how do

1:03:03

you have that Matt having your own show and

1:03:05

you're fucking this and all that. I said, it's great.

1:03:08

He looked at me and he goes, fuck

1:03:10

her. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck

1:03:12

her. like, a big monitor monitor. Son

1:03:15

of You wanted me to say, like, I'm fucking

1:03:17

kidding me. Tearing me apart, you're

1:03:19

scared. I've got a man. He's like, well,

1:03:21

motherfucker. Motherfucker.

1:03:24

Let me tell you, man. Like that, I wrote I

1:03:26

wrote those the jokes there for the

1:03:28

for my I gave away the first

1:03:30

Emmy to reality show.

1:03:32

Oh, really? And I wrote all this shit, like,

1:03:35

extreme makeover in an are you you're

1:03:38

you're you're beautiful. I said, does it that's not what a

1:03:40

drop back does? No. You can't talk

1:03:42

to all that shit. Love it. Yeah. And

1:03:46

Anne was like, you don't fucking answer. Oh my,

1:03:49

you're not gonna tell these jokes. Sorry. Yeah,

1:03:51

too. That's fine. And I said, you know what? Give

1:03:53

me the papers back. go go over there.

1:03:55

That's why you don't let anybody see your shit man -- Mhmm.

1:03:57

-- day before, but working on them upstairs. Yeah.

1:03:59

And I think I talked to so I'm sitting

1:04:02

there all the Sopranos, William Grace, everybody

1:04:04

fucking every oh, Raybrile's Raybrile's Raybrile. They're all there.

1:04:06

Mhmm. And

1:04:07

they come and get me. And she

1:04:09

gets up and I said, don't know. I'm going

1:04:11

to stay here. I'm

1:04:13

going backstage. No. No. No. I

1:04:15

said to her, you burned your backstage pass

1:04:17

yesterday, You

1:04:21

want somebody with you that Yeah.

1:04:25

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna and and

1:04:27

I'm fucking on the side of the stage and they're going to the

1:04:29

commercial. It's life. Yeah. And I go to commercial

1:04:33

and I fucking lean around the corner and

1:04:35

I see with Dan Laffini

1:04:37

and fucking Will and Grace in my head

1:04:40

and in the middle of it. And the first

1:04:42

row is Robin Williams. If

1:04:44

he looks at me and he goes like this. No.

1:04:47

There you go. Yes. And

1:04:50

I said fucking You don't even

1:04:52

have a real It's not a speed. Yeah. That's

1:04:54

a voramas right there. I fucking comedian. That's

1:04:56

a natural ass. And that was it, man. Yes.

1:04:58

It's comedian. That was it. And I fucking

1:05:00

nailed it, man. He was happy, man. Like I did, scarface,

1:05:02

I I don't have to say that. But you don't want? You

1:05:04

read me all those Jews that were in there. You know that fucking

1:05:07

shit. Yeah. I love that one. Oh, okay.

1:05:09

That's not my brother. Donald, let me go.

1:05:11

for you to get the money that you get the votes here

1:05:13

at the Pollo who said that first. Rosie O'Donnell.

1:05:16

Yeah. Timing is like, fuck man.

1:05:18

And I went up. And and you know man like

1:05:20

Alpacino said, you know, they call me to go, Alpacino

1:05:23

wants you to do scarface for his AFI.

1:05:25

I said, no. What? I said, fucking.

1:05:27

No. Remember rocky, where he goes, hey, Rocky, how would you

1:05:29

like to fight for the world championship

1:05:32

of the war? Hey, hey, world to you. Hey,

1:05:34

he goes, no. No. I thought I was gonna

1:05:36

be a a aspiring part. Like, he said no

1:05:38

--

1:05:39

Wow. -- in

1:05:39

a movie. Why'd you say no?

1:05:41

He was afraid. No.

1:05:43

You why'd you say no? because I the praise.

1:05:45

You know, my man. You were free. Yeah. Fuck you,

1:05:47

man. because I I didn't have I didn't

1:05:49

have that. I was good. Just go out there

1:05:52

and he goes, Al wants you to do scarface stuff,

1:05:54

and I said, no. no. No. No.

1:05:56

Fuck. No. I'm not gonna do it. He goes, were you want

1:05:58

me to tell him no? That's

1:06:00

it.

1:06:01

said, come me back and have

1:06:03

an That's how we put

1:06:05

it around on these stairs. And I was just like,

1:06:07

what do you I said.

1:06:08

the And

1:06:10

I said, only way do it is to do it as

1:06:12

twenty Montana. Yeah. So,

1:06:14

fuck it. And again, I'm the day of

1:06:17

I go down and I guess I'm flour and I put it in the

1:06:19

bag. She goes, what are you doing? I

1:06:20

go at the I'm gonna put my face in the

1:06:22

powder. I'm gonna look up and I'm gonna have that's

1:06:24

cheap. That's a cheap laugh. Your

1:06:27

pocket ass. And

1:06:30

I did it in the fucking and I did it in

1:06:32

the fucking ass ending fucking. I don't

1:06:34

know that big. Those are the cheap blacks. A

1:06:36

cheap blacks. fucking best. I put my face

1:06:38

in there, man. Even how pacino was like, you need

1:06:40

fucking man. Dude, it was great. I watched

1:06:43

this shit over to us. It was you know,

1:06:45

you know, I love to laugh and good joke makes

1:06:47

me laugh. Yeah. I worked on the movie,

1:06:49

eat without Oh. And

1:06:52

so were you in the movie? No. with

1:06:54

that I made the cutting big

1:06:56

boy. I made the cutting room floor. I

1:06:59

made the cutting room floor. No. It's Kevin. I

1:07:01

was a technical adviser. I

1:07:07

made the cutting room floor. I was consulting

1:07:09

advising on the movie. So we

1:07:11

we you have a part in it or not? No.

1:07:13

He was saying what's real and what's not. Right? Like, give

1:07:15

him a let let's give the people

1:07:17

that hope -- Yeah. -- give a fuck at home with that. Yeah.

1:07:20

What The people left Hold on. Hold on. Hello.

1:07:23

Give an example of what a consultant does.

1:07:25

Yeah. And advisers, they they will let

1:07:27

me do interviews with

1:07:29

the actors. I was supposed to be the cops so I could

1:07:31

learn what a

1:07:32

a real detective would be like, you

1:07:34

know, hey, cops wouldn't do this, cops wouldn't do

1:07:36

that. So that that that's what I'm doing

1:07:39

on a set while they wanted to see how cops

1:07:41

interacted. So we went out to a place

1:07:43

in Santa Monica, a nice restaurant. Do you

1:07:45

remember which one it was? No. No.

1:07:47

I just know they had a private room in the back. We're

1:07:49

back there eating and They

1:07:52

wanted to see how inter

1:07:54

interactive. How actors and and and

1:07:56

and now how cops talk to each other

1:07:59

and what they do. I got you. And

1:08:01

so We're and jokes. Mhmm.

1:08:03

And I remember Michael t told the joke

1:08:06

the fuck it off. You know, and

1:08:08

it was it was a great fucking joke.

1:08:10

And then Alpacino wanted to get involved that he told

1:08:12

a joke and the chick I'm sorry.

1:08:14

Vlog. No. You know, but the

1:08:16

guy that I was with from homicide, he laughed. He

1:08:19

laughed his ass. He handed it with a whoa. So

1:08:21

we we got the car in the room. We got the car in the

1:08:23

room. I said, hey, did you get that fucking junkie? because

1:08:25

I didn't think it was funny. He said, need to die.

1:08:27

I said, you'd have to ask. He said, that was a courtesy

1:08:29

laugh. Hey, Fuck

1:08:33

it. So the next day we're out there, we're talking.

1:08:35

And I and I was gonna give it another

1:08:38

try. Say, before you do Let me tell you. That

1:08:40

joke you tried last night, it didn't fucking

1:08:42

go. He's in terms of courtesy. He told him -- Yeah.

1:08:44

-- I know what I think is funny how like a

1:08:46

hot out of fucking clubbing. Now now was a

1:08:48

great now was hugging me. He's a great guy.

1:08:51

Nice guy. Yeah. I mean, we're just bullshitting you wanna

1:08:53

see what comps like. Hey. That was that was a

1:08:55

truth. Michael T. He

1:08:58

says when they're on the

1:09:00

set for Forrest

1:09:03

Gull. He says, we're filming it out in

1:09:05

Georgia. He says, we're break for the night. We're

1:09:07

done. He says, like, see one of the extras out

1:09:09

there. having trouble with his car. He

1:09:11

says, and and everybody's leaving.

1:09:14

And I felt bad. I left him on side, got out of

1:09:16

his name. You need to write. You haven't heard me in your car. The guy

1:09:18

said, yeah. He said, would you give me write in time?

1:09:20

He said, sure. Come on. Get you let's go.

1:09:22

He says, so the guy starts for my car. He says, oh,

1:09:24

wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Whoes and gets a bag

1:09:26

that was inside his car. Comes and he gets inside

1:09:29

my car. We're driving down the road.

1:09:31

Oh. And he says as we're driving down the road,

1:09:33

I noticed that the guy keep looking inside

1:09:35

that bag and then close it back up. And

1:09:38

just conversation, I finally said, hey, you must have

1:09:40

something really important in that bag. What

1:09:42

do you got in the bag? And he said, none

1:09:44

of your business motherfucker. Right. So

1:09:47

Michael, since I slammed on my fucking

1:09:50

brakes. He says, get the fuck

1:09:52

out. As soon as he stepped out of the car, before

1:09:54

he could do anything, I fucking punched at my up

1:09:56

and down. I kept the bag. He

1:09:58

says, I never saw that motherfucker

1:09:59

again. And

1:10:01

I said, really, I said, what was in the egg.

1:10:03

He said, none of your business motherfuckers.

1:10:07

Oh, boy. There you go. Doctor

1:10:09

Matt, professor. He's gonna hit

1:10:11

you with that kid. didn't

1:10:20

see your puppy in it. What was none of your

1:10:22

bid in the motherfucker? The same thing the guy had

1:10:24

allegedly had told him. Yeah. Wow. That's fucking

1:10:26

great. oh, it was funniest fucking

1:10:29

joke he were here. The dude that that that wrong person

1:10:31

that does the warms up see, I I make him do this joke.

1:10:33

He goes, like, guys pass him by a mental

1:10:35

hospital and he hears thirteen

1:10:37

thirteen. Thirteen. And there's

1:10:39

a little hole in the wall. He looks in there that fucking

1:10:42

poke him with the eye. You're fourteen. That's

1:10:56

a great warm up. Maybe. That's a

1:10:58

great warm up guy you have. Yeah. I do

1:11:00

everything that will be right tell it I

1:11:02

mean, he's a fucking great I

1:11:04

love that fucking joke. Ron Pearson.

1:11:06

Oh, okay. Okay. Do eight. But doing you know

1:11:08

what? Like like, guys like us that talk about fan

1:11:10

only. Yeah. We can't do fucking audience warm

1:11:13

up. We can't. Oh, I can't. I only

1:11:15

have one -- Yeah. No. -- talk about fucking

1:11:17

we're going down the street for fucking hour.

1:11:21

Well, Shady can juggle. A certain skill for

1:11:23

certain people, bro. Like, this is not for me. It's

1:11:25

the fucking hardest thing to do. because when I do corporate

1:11:27

gigs, they're we gotta get like, man, I

1:11:29

got this. You want this or not? No,

1:11:31

man. I'm not gonna cater to your fucking company.

1:11:33

Hey, fucking. This is what I got. That's true. That

1:11:35

guy out wrong way, you know? That guy is a

1:11:37

fucking juggle that I gotta go.

1:11:39

He's amazing. Wow. That's amazing.

1:11:42

Wow. Somebody said to me that one of

1:11:44

the that the executives said, you I had a friend

1:11:46

there. He was very rude to her. I said,

1:11:48

listen. This

1:11:49

motherfucker is the best guy that's

1:11:51

out there and you want the best I said,

1:11:53

if you want me talk and tell them to go

1:11:56

easy on people, I will. But it's

1:11:58

not it's not in my nature. As a comedian, I

1:12:00

would never tell another guy to go eat and now.

1:12:02

He knows where he is. Mhmm. And if

1:12:04

it becomes too much, then

1:12:07

we'll deal with that. But you hire a guy

1:12:09

to do something. Let him do it. they

1:12:11

met that person since it whatever. But

1:12:13

when

1:12:14

you walk out there and you don't know if you're gonna do

1:12:16

five minutes or fifty five minutes

1:12:18

walk back. Yeah. This guy was

1:12:21

amazing. Really? You couldn't have asked for a minimum.

1:12:23

so good, man. Yeah. I think the math worked with

1:12:25

him. My fucking joke was a fucking ladder. What's

1:12:27

check your ladder out of that chair. We

1:12:30

copy all. with our fucking tools,

1:12:32

fuck her. Yeah. Yeah. Never mind. Hey.

1:12:34

He's got the fat his head for that fucking

1:12:36

slapback. The guy was he was

1:12:38

fucking dead for money. He doesn't think that where he

1:12:41

fucking puts a hand on top of that

1:12:43

slap Like, I snap your hands. Oh, he just dabbled.

1:12:45

Yeah. And he's good. He's he's good. I

1:12:47

got later. The girl was like, let's play this game.

1:12:51

I wait, and I can you. I'm

1:13:06

gonna go, like, we want one more chance, bitch.

1:13:08

Oh, I'm fucking hilarious. I thought the fucking you

1:13:11

know, the nails and I was like, I was in. Hey.

1:13:13

So so So you have a girlfriend. Right? Yeah.

1:13:15

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And is

1:13:18

do you have any issues in the relationship

1:13:21

that are like Well, we're so different.

1:13:23

Yeah. What what what did you mean though? No. No. I mean,

1:13:25

from your childhood that came up with Well, you

1:13:27

see it every time you tell me this is special. Right? Yeah.

1:13:29

Very, like, oh my god. Like, I tell you story.

1:13:31

I'm like, this. I and her her mom

1:13:33

were like, oh my god. That

1:13:35

is terrible. And I'm like, no. No. No. That's that's

1:13:38

how he is. He's looking at my dad. And

1:13:40

then, oh, this is so yeah. There's

1:13:42

a little and look, what she said about the joke. I

1:13:44

told her joke. Yeah. And she's like, raunchy, and and

1:13:46

she's just like, that's not I wouldn't do that if I

1:13:48

were you. I wouldn't go but then I go on stage and

1:13:50

it kills like, you see, you don't know you don't know my my

1:13:52

voice. You don't know my shit, but she is

1:13:54

helpful with certain shit. Like, she doesn't know how to

1:13:56

organize stuff. Yeah. And she's like, this

1:13:58

not not in the industry, but she's

1:13:59

like, she

1:14:00

works for the Dodgers. He does, like, the inside

1:14:02

host. And she's Oh, so that she's a great lady.

1:14:04

Yeah. Especially the Dodgers. She's doing cool,

1:14:07

though. Like, she could take a joke, like, real quick,

1:14:09

and she also, like Well, she's the whole

1:14:11

host. She is the host. Yeah. Yeah. She's the whole

1:14:13

inside the host. The inside stadium service. Jessica

1:14:15

Rosehouse. Yeah. don't know her name.

1:14:18

Yeah. But Even the name. surprised

1:14:23

you didn't ask a big question. Yeah. You got

1:14:25

big delta. Yeah. Good name. Hi there. You

1:14:28

just I'm

1:14:31

used to remember my girlfriend said, like, oh, hell no.

1:14:33

I don't want Even my daughter's license.

1:14:35

This was

1:14:38

even my kids, my son. Well, I'm not

1:14:40

I'm not ten breakfast of

1:14:42

my wife -- Yeah. -- my son -- Yeah. -- and

1:14:44

myself. And he says, dad, go looked down, but I'm Jerry

1:14:47

Hershey. She's got big bed thoughts. So they said,

1:14:49

I'm gonna take that down the time On the time

1:14:51

we're eleven years early. Could they go

1:14:53

Hey. The nurse wants to talk to you. Does she have big that

1:14:55

time? Well, that time. the question

1:14:57

to you forever. And so when did my wife have a

1:14:59

little eating at breast on the

1:15:02

other show somebody's time, oh, there was a lady that

1:15:04

was a detective there. She had picked that up. Yeah. He had

1:15:07

to answer know. And and as

1:15:09

I do it all the time, I do it all the time. And

1:15:11

even my wife who I affectionately

1:15:13

call sister Mary Clarence because she's

1:15:16

she she's the religious good one. Ah,

1:15:18

right. Even she knows that George's gonna

1:15:20

say this year, picked that up. Oh, I got

1:15:22

that down. Alright. I'm gonna understand that. That's what I do

1:15:24

now. The guy Matt Williams who's like

1:15:26

a button that he he did

1:15:28

a home raid in the marrow -- Yeah. -- for for

1:15:30

Tim Out. Right. Free guy. And

1:15:32

I would we were working on St. George

1:15:34

and a accent. And, you know, we great writer,

1:15:37

you know. And I would say, does she have big cities?

1:15:39

And he would be like, what's that? And then he said that

1:15:41

he said that. So so we were in Santa

1:15:43

Clarita? We're on the show and we're

1:15:45

writing the things up on the board. Yeah. And the

1:15:47

girl comes in. He goes, the acting coaches here.

1:15:49

She has a one o'clock meeting, and then Matt goes

1:15:51

to Shepbig cities. last

1:15:56

person. I

1:15:58

guess It would be like if the

1:15:59

pope was out there that goes, oh, the the nuns

1:16:02

are here to bigger thing. Yeah.

1:16:07

When I were thinking of trucks, it was a black makes

1:16:09

them look bigger. Yeah. When I in construction,

1:16:11

there was this Bison, North Carolina. There was this Bison do that.

1:16:14

Well, he was like, and there was this, like, slutty head of slutty.

1:16:16

The guy that owned the company had a slutty

1:16:18

assistant. She was slutty. You can tell

1:16:20

us like

1:16:23

like for a girl to be a horror because she had

1:16:25

that fuck it. And I can tell it. It's almost

1:16:27

like I would get her there, come here and I'll grab her

1:16:29

and say, how So I told the vises, the vises

1:16:32

were like, hey, how are you saying? You're

1:16:36

out of pocket the tip. How are you saying? like

1:16:39

-- -- cities.

1:16:41

-- cities. Like, you you mispronounce

1:16:44

it on purpose. You should say it again. This city I

1:16:46

mean, how does it feel? He's

1:16:48

just like Yeah.

1:16:51

It's too. What's going on in here? Let's see.

1:16:53

I mean, it's too easy. Go by the way.

1:16:55

Yeah. a

1:16:58

whole fucking thing. She was, like, pointing

1:17:00

them out. I think it might be maybe they if they don't breastfeed

1:17:02

you, like, and do so. I think it is for

1:17:04

the foundation of Oh, yeah. Maybe.

1:17:06

That is the thing. You know, that fucking

1:17:08

impressive. I got a phone call the other day at my

1:17:10

house, you know, the department saying, hey, there's this

1:17:12

guy. What's

1:17:15

the name? The the one phone number. I

1:17:17

said, I'll greg time. Here's his phone number. You

1:17:19

call him if you want to. Uh-huh. So I called the

1:17:21

guy up and I said, well, if

1:17:24

Leroy and he said, yeah. This is Leroy. Who's

1:17:26

this? I said, this is Gil Carrillo. Listen, I got called

1:17:28

by the department. They said you wanted to talk to me

1:17:31

and you were a long time old friend and I said,

1:17:33

he says, yeah. I said, I

1:17:35

apologize, you know, Leroy, I

1:17:37

don't remember you. Oh, wow. And

1:17:39

he says, give it. Give

1:17:41

a listen to this. Hey. Come

1:17:44

and see yama mama and

1:17:47

I started laughing. He was the

1:17:49

he was the black back elevator operator. Oh,

1:17:51

there's slick, smooth, talk,

1:17:55

and shit all the time. on the weekends

1:17:58

at the hall of justice, we used to have jail visits

1:18:00

up there. So ladies would come in there, and

1:18:02

he said, in one day, he says, hey, give her watches.

1:18:04

Young, good looking but he goes up

1:18:06

to me. He says, can I help you, man?

1:18:09

And she looks at him and she says, no

1:18:11

ob ambulance. And he turns back and

1:18:13

looks at me. He says, yo ob ambulance.

1:18:20

This is back at one of my apartment where I was growing

1:18:22

up, and he was just on my cousin. Hey, my man. Hey.

1:18:25

It's your cousin. It's a bad bitch right

1:18:27

now. It's like, oh, this is too

1:18:29

Yeah. Yeah. They check it. She is. Yeah.

1:18:31

Oh, god. It should be like that all the time.

1:18:33

god. Man, man. Oh my

1:18:35

man. Like, you give me problems with my cousin, like

1:18:38

Yeah. My cousin has a fat ass again. If

1:18:40

you're liking the fact that she has a fat ass. I just

1:18:42

never forgot her name. on. And I remembered

1:18:44

Leroy, and we went and had lunch together yesterday.

1:18:46

You did. Oh, wow. He he joined us.

1:18:49

He's a cool. Oh, yeah. He was

1:18:51

cool. He's a good man. What did you do he did

1:18:53

retire? Oh, yeah. He's old. He retired now.

1:18:55

Still looks good. Still looks the same. Well,

1:18:58

the bunker looks thin too. Father. Anybody

1:19:00

looks thin when they retired and bothered me.

1:19:02

He looks dead. He's good. And it was a

1:19:05

he was a funny, funny man and worked every

1:19:08

moment. When it didn't matter, he was an elevator

1:19:10

operator. You know, he was one of us. Litruvino,

1:19:12

you know, and I were, like, we're, like, family. So

1:19:14

Litruvino, the golfer. Oh, he

1:19:17

says that he had the he had his big catty

1:19:19

Hermann. So Hermann, African American

1:19:21

do big do. Three times bigger than than

1:19:23

than Lee. And Lee and Herman were like Batman

1:19:25

and Robin fucking beautiful relationship. No.

1:19:27

and he

1:19:30

goes he goes man. He goes a

1:19:32

Herman Man. He got diabetes man. He couldn't

1:19:34

walk around the course. Yeah. Sorry. We did I retired

1:19:36

them. I said, hey, you're man,

1:19:39

you can't make it, man. You know, I make it around.

1:19:41

You know, I'll tell you what, I'll get you a car,

1:19:43

I'll get your apartment, and I'll give you money

1:19:45

so you can live, you

1:19:47

know, and and he goes, that motherfucker

1:19:49

lived twenty five more years. be

1:19:53

dead in the year. him. He's tired.

1:19:55

No way. He said, I thought he'd be dead in the

1:19:57

year. He goes, he lived twenty five board years.

1:19:59

I had

1:19:59

a fucking bad question. it. They

1:20:02

were they it was a beautiful soul. I

1:20:04

was at I was at his house and

1:20:06

Herman was But he and he called

1:20:08

him man, I got a chance to talk to them. Then they were

1:20:10

just, like, just so, you know,

1:20:12

Augusta at the Masters, it's like,

1:20:15

oh, you know, very white, and and they're walking

1:20:17

up the ninth hole and and the beach arena

1:20:19

goes to her minute. Amen. When

1:20:20

we get up to men, give me a hotdog,

1:20:22

man. Hotdog. Give me a hotdog. Hi. So

1:20:26

he goes, we're on the tenth hold and all

1:20:28

the people are around like this. And I see

1:20:30

herman and all the people and he's

1:20:33

holding a hot out, and he's got

1:20:35

the foil out of his own foot and he goes, bring

1:20:37

it out here and he's like this. No. Why not?

1:20:39

He goes, bring it out here, man. Wow.

1:20:42

out there, and he's holding the the

1:20:44

hotdog. So it's a big African American guy

1:20:46

in at Augusta, Georgia holding

1:20:48

a hotdog out for a Mexican golfer.

1:20:50

and lead your video goes. Did you tell

1:20:53

those for me or did you tell those for you?

1:20:59

Well, that's shit. So When was that? When

1:21:01

was that? In the in

1:21:03

the late sixties, man. Well, I was that that's

1:21:05

why that's why all unpaired to go back

1:21:07

to Vietnam on nineteen sixty nine.

1:21:10

They sent me to Georgia, and there

1:21:12

was still segregation back there. Pop that

1:21:14

he said did you tell me it was for me? Or did

1:21:16

you tell me it was for me? Fuck

1:21:19

it. And he and he goes, man, I didn't need it. Although

1:21:21

I just did it together. You fucking come out and fucking

1:21:23

Hold it. I can't answer. So so literally,

1:21:25

you know, again, seventy one, he wins the British

1:21:28

open, and the guy that he's playing Tony Jacqueline.

1:21:30

And this is this is the power of the fucking Chicago

1:21:32

mess. So literally, Trivino is already master

1:21:34

chapter. I already talked about Tiger woods, Trivino

1:21:37

was doing I was doing it. Well, there were no Mexicans

1:21:39

but so he's

1:21:42

playing at Mirfield and Tony Jacqueline

1:21:44

is a European offer. Mhmm.

1:21:46

And our European golfer hadn't won the

1:21:48

British open in forever. And

1:21:50

they're playing together. And Lee Trevino

1:21:53

says, man, I'm on this part five minute. I'm struggling

1:21:55

man. You know, get it out there and that fucking

1:21:57

Tony Jacqueline says to him, Aileen,

1:22:01

finish up in a way, like,

1:22:03

Hurry up. Hurry up. You finish

1:22:05

so that I could I could hit. Okay. And

1:22:07

he got in the sand trap, and he's like,

1:22:09

this won't fuck it. And he and it went

1:22:11

in on the from the center. And

1:22:14

he chipped in six times over the weekend,

1:22:17

and they played on Sunday, and it was

1:22:19

close, and he was gonna win. And the people

1:22:21

come into the middle of the fairway and leave you being to

1:22:23

walk past him, and then he turned around.

1:22:25

Now they're walking towards him, but he's walking

1:22:28

back where he goes, hey man, Mexico is gonna

1:22:30

win your tournament. confidence.

1:22:33

In Europe. A Mexican is gonna win your

1:22:35

game. And they

1:22:37

all wanted that and all wanted that do the win.

1:22:40

I mean, it cleared I mean, you didn't see Tony Jack.

1:22:42

Yeah. And if fucking each of you didn't show one

1:22:44

over there to see. Nobody chipped in fucking

1:22:46

chipped in to see that. No. thought say

1:22:48

You can see it. Yes, you may find it off. It's

1:22:50

all bad. You wouldn't holy. Fuck.

1:22:52

I'm fucking It's hard, harder. You're fucking childhood.

1:22:55

Oh, hell yeah. That's what I love you. You get a good

1:22:57

roundy thing. I can matter

1:23:08

about You know what? You have a fucking big

1:23:10

deal. So you play golf. He's like, no. Fuck

1:23:12

that. Look. You have nice bet, brother. Right? I I can't

1:23:14

I can't get the bet. I can't get the ball pistol

1:23:16

with me. I ain't gonna go with them with the big boys. But

1:23:19

I love it, man. I love it. I love it. ask you, man.

1:23:21

Yeah. You did. During the pandemic, ever matter

1:23:23

of fact, I still haven't I told her a set

1:23:25

of golf clubs that don't put up in the yard sale. I didn't hear

1:23:27

you. He said, no. No. No. No. No. No.

1:23:31

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. play

1:23:35

golf. Nah. Fuck. No. I'm like, I never wanted to play golf. He's

1:23:37

a soccer. I was soccer. That's why, like 000

1:23:39

because there might say it's not actually what just I

1:23:41

would

1:23:41

Look off one computer. We back to the mail.

1:23:43

That's all. Yeah. Yeah. That's

1:23:45

Tony Jackson right there. Yeah. You gotta wait.

1:23:48

You look at that. Watch this. Nice

1:23:50

and easy.

1:23:53

What's this? Look at that. It

1:23:58

went on from a hop. It went on from a hop. Who going, oh, my

1:23:59

goodness. Dramatically He

1:24:02

said if it didn't go in, that thing

1:24:04

was going a hundred feet bike. Look at that. Yeah. You

1:24:06

see how fast it was when it when it hit? Yeah. Harold put

1:24:08

up. Or it was get another There's some other ones. There's some other

1:24:10

ones too. Look at that thing, man. One hop.

1:24:12

Boom. Boom. And that bull fucking save

1:24:14

his life. Well, so there's another one I go with at,

1:24:16

like, man. Yeah. No. There's a couple. Look

1:24:19

at that fool. Look at the I love this dude,

1:24:21

man. Look at that. Look at this. Look

1:24:24

at at this. No. no

1:24:28

way. That's the worst. Isn't it? Will

1:24:30

you get it right there? And then I think that's is that to is

1:24:32

that to win? Wait. Go ahead. Is that to win, Moe?

1:24:34

Okay. I don't think so. There's still more time. For the Huntington

1:24:37

home, we're watching some golf clubs from the nineteen seventy

1:24:39

two brace open. Yes.

1:24:42

Look at that. Seventy home. Apple

1:24:44

does look nicer. I

1:24:46

think that's And where did they go to the oh, are they

1:24:48

tied? Look, at this.

1:24:51

Here we go. Here we go. Watch this. Here we

1:24:53

go. Watch this. Oh my god. Pluto

1:24:56

shit that don't match brown and fucking blue.

1:24:58

Mhmm. For me, I would have to check that shit right there.

1:25:00

Watch this.

1:25:04

Watch

1:25:05

this.

1:25:08

moment

1:25:08

for that. Oh, mom. Look

1:25:11

at them. Look at them. Look at them. Look at them.

1:25:13

Look at them. Look at

1:25:15

him. Oh, fucking kidding. That fucking

1:25:17

dude. Look at him, man. We think he used that

1:25:19

seven in, like, a putt or what. Look at that.

1:25:23

The man this is okay. I'll tell

1:25:25

you what. Yeah. Yeah. The the

1:25:28

the time that we the times that

1:25:30

we kick in -- Mhmm. -- into a fucking

1:25:32

gear that no he has is when motherfuckers don't

1:25:35

expect you to be as good as

1:25:37

somebody else would be normally for sure. You

1:25:39

know what I mean? Yeah. What you said hey, it's

1:25:41

the same guy, and then I fuck that.

1:25:43

I always bring it up. That's the same guy.

1:25:45

Yes. So I fuck that. So I say, hey. It's the motorbike,

1:25:47

and then they talk to later. Have you used talking

1:25:49

shit about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a guy in my

1:25:51

car yesterday that told me he says, you know, I gotta

1:25:53

I gotta be honest with you. He's a normal guy's

1:25:56

ninety years old now. Eighty nine years old.

1:25:58

And I picked him up take

1:26:07

them up to take them to this homicide luncheon. You know,

1:26:09

the seasonal timer retired and been

1:26:11

retired thirty five years now. And

1:26:13

so he's sitting and telling me he says,

1:26:15

you know, I remember when you were working the case. He said, I

1:26:17

remember when guys were laughing behind your back.

1:26:20

He says, you saying it was one guy,

1:26:22

he says,

1:26:23

and it wasn't you

1:26:25

were right. He says, I remember them doing

1:26:27

that to you.

1:26:28

Pacman. Sorry. No. I And

1:26:30

you know what, man, in a case like that, you want it to fucking

1:26:32

be right once. So Yeah. I mean, how

1:26:34

about that? Like, you only have to be right once. Like,

1:26:36

you fucking said, hey, this is a this is not

1:26:39

this is one dude. Yeah. And they're like,

1:26:41

oh, this motherfucker. Of course, they're gonna underestimate

1:26:43

you because of the color of your skin. because

1:26:45

I was young and and plus

1:26:47

nobody in hit criminal history had ever done what

1:26:49

I was alleging

1:26:50

originally. Yep. And still today. Nobody's

1:26:53

re there hasn't been a copycat.

1:26:56

That's

1:26:56

a thing. I don't know what it is. And what did he do,

1:26:58

man? He did shit that nobody knows. He Right. Right.

1:27:00

Right. Use account cable. Right? No. No no cannibalism,

1:27:03

but he was a pedophile. Probably pedophile. He's

1:27:05

a pedophile. He never take a pussy.

1:27:07

He looks like a pedophile. He's not first

1:27:11

I'm sorry. The Magenas were shooting off. He

1:27:13

he didn't he didn't There were no cannibalism. He

1:27:15

there was pedophiles, girls, and boys.

1:27:18

Yeah. He was raping and

1:27:20

sexual assault on on women. He

1:27:22

was killing men. The

1:27:25

weapons he used were every thing from

1:27:27

guns, knives, the cheddar's, blunt force

1:27:29

trauma, manual strangulation, ligature

1:27:31

strangulation. So it's just different. And

1:27:34

what what that in somebody that does that? It's

1:27:36

it's it's what is their thing that It's

1:27:38

like a They're just all sexual. They're

1:27:40

just all sexual. Yeah. Something's off.

1:27:42

Like, they when they get off off of, like, the sexualness

1:27:44

of killing somebody's taco. There's a

1:27:47

lot of sexuality. It goes in there. Everyone's

1:27:49

sexual vehicle. Mine honors. and

1:27:51

I've been rolling a lot. And then when I saw your shit, it kinda

1:27:53

made sense when they talk about the trophy. They keep A little

1:27:55

confused. I know they only went two seasons, man. They

1:27:57

fucking They're fucking good. And we're

1:27:59

fucking great, man. All the way. We're good, man.

1:28:02

But but but we've been watching your your your guys'

1:28:04

doctor, like, met that, like, just seeing you went through

1:28:06

and everything and just like a child. I'll come back and

1:28:08

ask you to do another one, like another one. That was

1:28:10

the best dog man. Right. Right. Right. Right. It

1:28:12

was shot the greatest initially.

1:28:15

Oh, It was Initially,

1:28:17

it was trending number one for about

1:28:19

a week and a half. And then It

1:28:24

was number six in the world. Netflix

1:28:26

was extremely happy. I've been told,

1:28:28

and they wanted to shoot another. They want, hey, let's

1:28:30

do a follow-up. And then they finally came to

1:28:32

the decision, well, what do you that one was so good.

1:28:35

What more could there be after

1:28:37

that right now? And then they went into

1:28:39

some other Syria killing. Yeah. But

1:28:42

right now. Yeah. I

1:28:44

have a Zoom call tomorrow morning.

1:28:46

What do you know? Netflix. Mister busy

1:28:48

tomorrow. I don't know. We're gonna the episode Georgia.

1:28:50

I got it. No. No. No. George is not my

1:28:52

wife knows I'll do it from number one. George's number

1:28:55

one. No. I like I like the the that

1:28:57

I do look like he was taught. That fucking nice soccer

1:28:59

then when he talk, hey, Satan. I'm like, get

1:29:01

the fuck out of it. He is not that scary. But,

1:29:03

like, he said that that that fucking book, hey,

1:29:06

Satan. Whatever is, like, oh my

1:29:08

god. This is my mowey. That fucking bitch. I

1:29:10

tell you what, he had some good looking pictures after

1:29:12

him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What the people

1:29:14

I inside of said, they were saying, if I can have

1:29:16

gotten the product. But you saw him, like, you

1:29:18

know, you fucking saw you fucking saw him in

1:29:20

the car with a bag. That's him. they were

1:29:22

the most notorious fucking people in the world.

1:29:24

Oh, man. more another human brother. That's all he has.

1:29:26

Oh, man. I don't know. That would have been fucking

1:29:29

crazy. You know? At one time, he's doing this.

1:29:31

on the table. We're talking to him. He's going like this.

1:29:33

Oh, no. I guess, Gary. And and

1:29:35

I just look at my and he's looking at me, and he's going like

1:29:38

this. And I said, go ahead and fill it in. He

1:29:40

said, fill one in. I said, the pentagram. I

1:29:42

said, that's what you're doing. And

1:29:43

he says, you know about that shit? I said, yeah.

1:29:46

He went. He

1:29:47

raced it all.

1:29:49

was that he was gonna draw the Pentagon.

1:29:51

Pentagon gave him power, which is a symbol of

1:29:53

Satan. And so I just said,

1:29:55

that shit doesn't bother me, Rich. You do what

1:29:57

you gotta do. That's stuff stuff. Yeah. Why

1:29:59

is it looking? I watch a lot of fucking ghost

1:30:02

stuff. Right? Like, the ghost stuff in my house. Here's

1:30:04

the fucking they they start doing Mexico. They're

1:30:06

not even going to Mexico. They go a whole hospital

1:30:09

when they go.

1:30:10

And

1:30:16

a fuck a thing hello. Hi,

1:30:18

mate.

1:30:22

They're talking they're talking

1:30:24

out there. moment,

1:30:42

call that spirit. But when I first

1:30:44

met mama, he was like, hold on. Wait a minute. Get

1:30:46

the fucking headband.

1:30:49

I already made it. Tits are hard. Something

1:30:51

happened in your life. Things really III

1:30:54

told Momo, we went to see your show.

1:30:57

when they were taping the first one. First episode.

1:31:00

So I told Molen that I said, hey, by the way,

1:31:02

if you listened to the episode the other day, I said, I'm

1:31:04

laughing my ass off. I'm almost or

1:31:06

George is talking by you're saying, hey, did

1:31:08

you get Momo and you said, if you did,

1:31:11

that's a killer. He's gonna the show's gonna

1:31:13

fucking die. Don't let him know. And

1:31:16

I said, said, and the shit was funny and I

1:31:18

couldn't stop laughing more. But I I

1:31:20

was not laughing at you, Momo. I was laughing at George.

1:31:22

That's some good stuff. Okay. Thank you.

1:31:24

Take your big boy. I'll tell you,

1:31:26

man. I'll tell you, man. I'll tell you, I

1:31:28

I wish for you that you would that you would have an

1:31:30

opportunity to create a show

1:31:32

that. Hope so, man. Because it's it's the fuck. It it's

1:31:35

it's I hope so. It changed my life. I mean

1:31:37

I mean, the senator well, maybe you're my senator.

1:31:39

don't know. Maybe I am. Yeah. Yeah.

1:31:41

Yeah. Yeah. it really it really, man. It

1:31:44

really fucking does mean so much,

1:31:46

man. Like,

1:31:47

the

1:31:48

this episode that we're doing right now is

1:31:50

a is a every Lopez,

1:31:53

Lopez versus Lopez. So every episode is Lopez

1:31:55

versus anxiety Lopez

1:31:57

versus Christmas. Christmas.

1:32:00

So in this episode, the

1:32:04

my original cast comes back.

1:32:06

Showman. How's that? And

1:32:08

does the showman. How's that? How's that?

1:32:10

And So

1:32:12

at the table read, the woman that

1:32:14

played my mom and the guy

1:32:16

that played the best Valente were at the table

1:32:18

read. Well, I wrote the script And

1:32:21

at the end, the the

1:32:23

the the the people that are

1:32:25

on the show right now, mine And I

1:32:27

said, tell me, and I said, Doris said, oh, you know,

1:32:30

my you know, the ex wife doesn't believe it's a real,

1:32:32

you know, Christmas and this is like, you know, ten

1:32:34

people out of the park -- Yeah. -- the door I said.

1:32:37

And the line was a Hello

1:32:39

family and started crying.

1:32:41

Did you really Good. No. That's nice.

1:32:43

Yes. I couldn't say it. You couldn't

1:32:45

say it? No. Turn the

1:32:48

page, It's right

1:32:50

there and you're just like, shit.

1:32:53

They're all looking at me. I'm just like,

1:32:57

Wow. That's that's heavy George. Man. That's

1:32:59

heavy. With only two of them there. Man.

1:33:02

And I just mad. It's like and

1:33:04

I told Bruce I say, hey, I'll come, man. He goes,

1:33:07

things are so different now, man. It's like, nobody

1:33:10

knew you. We're, you know, we're trying to do

1:33:12

something and then you are, man. Like and

1:33:14

twenty years later, here they come

1:33:16

back. And

1:33:17

there you are again, you know. What

1:33:19

was their reaction? They

1:33:23

Same thing. Oh, yeah. To me to me, like,

1:33:25

you did to me, you did the impossible.

1:33:28

Like That's true. Like, you did the impossible. Like,

1:33:30

when especially now when I going

1:33:32

through what I'm going through. I'm like, looking, I just think

1:33:34

back of you and I'm just like, damn, like, how? I'm

1:33:36

like, how? And then, like, seeing

1:33:38

how far you've gone, like

1:33:40

I just like, damn like, you're one of us and you fucking

1:33:42

did it. Like, you like, just as honest and you went

1:33:44

for it and you got it.

1:33:46

And, you know, I was your stories and I was afraid

1:33:48

of me was afraid of me too, to be honest with

1:33:50

you because I'm like, I look up to you so high,

1:33:52

and I'm like, I don't want to get a bad moment

1:33:55

and be like, oh, fuck that. Like But

1:33:58

it's

1:33:58

just like, there's no way because

1:33:59

I feel like we grow up the same. Yep. Maybe

1:34:02

not exactly, but the same of feeling

1:34:04

like we weren't looked at. And we

1:34:06

weren't like and and we also

1:34:08

were the same as far as, like, were at these comedy

1:34:10

clubs and we're like, you know what? Alright. Well, I know how

1:34:12

this works. Fuck it then. Do guys wanna

1:34:14

see me go home and go hard? That way you won't

1:34:16

ever forget about this. Right? And fuck

1:34:19

it then. That's it. That's what it felt

1:34:21

like because it's like, oh, yeah. You want me to bring people

1:34:23

to the and it's like you getting these guys because they're kissing

1:34:25

your ass and it's like, that's not me. I mean, because

1:34:27

III have something to say. And they say, alright.

1:34:29

Alright. That's what it is. Okay. We're gonna play your game.

1:34:31

But when I come back, I'm gonna

1:34:33

come back on denial. Well, you you won't be able to follow

1:34:35

him. In the comedy store and fucking sunset in

1:34:38

the early eighties. I was back there. And

1:34:40

I wasn't even I was in the middle of a conversation

1:34:43

who were guys who were better than me. And the

1:34:45

one guy comes in I

1:34:47

can't remember what it was. And he and he said to the other guy,

1:34:50

those guys are regulars there. And he said, is

1:34:52

this guy any good? And the dude went like this?

1:34:55

And they said you hear any laughter? I saw

1:34:57

you. Deep motherfuckers just went like this.

1:34:59

Yeah.

1:34:59

He walked in,

1:35:01

stood in the back of the hallway, who was just kinda

1:35:03

good, and the dude just went like this.

1:35:06

And nobody was laughing. And he

1:35:08

he

1:35:08

was like, alright. That's

1:35:10

you need -- That's what I thought you need. -- pointed.

1:35:12

Very good. Didn't

1:35:14

bend the spear. And it's like

1:35:17

You see That's what I said. I've I've I've

1:35:19

had those moments when I'm, like, auto lift flip, though. When I

1:35:21

come back, I wanna see, like, when I see you, you're gonna

1:35:24

be fucking walking back and forth because you're

1:35:26

you don't wanna go up. Just go chasing

1:35:28

anybody down the street. Yeah. Down the fucking

1:35:30

place for me. Yeah. But

1:35:32

but it's But you know, III think, you know,

1:35:34

in all of this, like, in stuff

1:35:36

that There's a there's a there's

1:35:38

a society that we should create for a

1:35:40

blockino comedian. Yeah. Watch you this.

1:35:43

I'll tell you this. Like, one thing that I do

1:35:45

I wish that would

1:35:46

have when I went through to the laughingfactant conference.

1:35:49

There's a lot of white faces not saying that I'm not

1:35:51

saying that it's anything bad, but I'm saying, like, I

1:35:53

saw how they saw themselves, like, Jerry

1:35:55

Sanfilippo, the writers are, oh, that's good. I'm a take you on

1:35:57

with me. And I was like, I was like, man, I missed a big I

1:35:59

want a big brother

1:35:59

like George to see me. I won't give

1:36:02

her to see me, but it no, Stan, I can't fuck

1:36:04

it. They have their reasons. Yeah. At first, I was

1:36:06

angry. I said, but as, like, gone

1:36:08

through this, and saw how this works and saw how people

1:36:10

are. I'm understanding why you're hesitant.

1:36:13

Yeah. But I'll tell you what we miss you.

1:36:15

The comedy fucking we talk about

1:36:18

you. No.

1:36:18

I'm telling you right now, we talk about you,

1:36:21

like, you're you're the gold. Right. You are the

1:36:23

gold, the greatest of all time. You

1:36:25

know one can touch you when it comes to your material.

1:36:27

You the way you speak your truth, that's best

1:36:29

of all, like, and we miss you, and we just wanna

1:36:32

see you, bro. We just wanna see you. I'm listening.

1:36:34

We have have a show called Brownish that

1:36:36

it's like one of the top notch, Eric Rivera

1:36:38

has his show that he's opening opportunities for

1:36:40

everybody. But just to show your face,

1:36:42

all these comments like that we I hear like

1:36:44

-- Yeah. -- I gotta do a show face to go

1:36:47

with. He's good unless he makes fun of me. Hey,

1:36:49

that's right. Right. Now, Blake, for

1:36:51

real, you're right. It's like, we miss you there. Yeah.

1:36:53

I I mean, I my life is but

1:36:55

I'm still I mean, you see me here. You can't