Podchaser Logo
Home
Bloodbeam Badlands, Episode One

Bloodbeam Badlands, Episode One

Released Monday, 24th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Bloodbeam Badlands, Episode One

Bloodbeam Badlands, Episode One

Bloodbeam Badlands, Episode One

Bloodbeam Badlands, Episode One

Monday, 24th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

0:00

Host the ultimate backyard barbecue with

0:02

Whole Foods Market. It's the hot

0:04

grill summer event through July 16th

0:06

with sizzling sales on no antibiotics

0:08

ever, boneless beef ribeye steak and

0:11

beef New York strip steak. Plus

0:13

check out sales on sustainable wild-caught

0:15

Alaska sockeye salmon, organic strawberries and

0:17

more. In a hurry, choose grab

0:19

and go favorites like picnic salads

0:22

and sushi. Plus plenty of cooler

0:24

friendly beverages. Make it a

0:26

hot grill summer at Whole Foods Market. What's

0:39

up heroes? Welcome back to another

0:41

episode and a brand new series on

0:43

OneShot. I'm your host, GM Dillion, and

0:45

I'm absolutely delighted to bring you this

0:47

new cast and game. Because

0:50

starting this week we're playing

0:52

Bloodbeam Badlands, a game of

0:54

gunslinging vampires in the unsetting

0:56

apocalypse. It's vampires in

0:58

a world plagued by toxic,

1:00

never-setting sun and I'm obsessed

1:03

with its vibe. Vidica

1:05

Valetti, the game designer and my friend,

1:07

joined us for this series and we

1:09

had just playtested some of the rules

1:11

that were still being finalized for the upcoming

1:14

final version of this game. So you'll

1:16

notice that we do a few rule

1:18

check-ins while playing and there will be a

1:20

final version of this game coming out

1:22

soon. I will keep you posted on that.

1:25

When Vidica first described this game to me, he

1:28

mentioned Mad Max Fury Road and

1:30

the Night Market from Hellboy. So

1:33

that is the vibe that I ran with

1:35

for this series. Now I'm

1:37

very excited to say let's get into

1:39

the shadows and meet some

1:41

vampires. Oh

1:58

goodness! Hi, welcome

2:01

to One Shot, the podcast

2:03

that studio that you've all

2:05

been driven to a very

2:07

real place in space and

2:09

time, where I have invited

2:11

you to come play some

2:13

games. I

2:16

am Dylan and I am your host and

2:18

game master. The people listening to this show

2:20

already know who I am because I killed

2:23

James DeMato several

2:26

months ago and took his job.

2:30

I'm being joined by

2:32

some absolutely amazing people

2:36

this month on One Shot

2:39

to play a brand new game as the

2:41

show goes. I would like them to introduce

2:43

themselves to you so that you know who

2:45

they are and how absolutely amazing they are.

2:48

I would like Laura, would you go first

2:50

and tell everybody where they could

2:52

find you, what kind of things you do

2:54

and just brag about yourself,

2:56

please? Absolutely. Hi, you can

2:59

call me Laura or Tutu or Laura Tutu, my

3:01

pronouns are she, they. I'm all

3:03

over the Internet, usually in some iteration of

3:05

Laura underscore Tutu. You might just have to

3:07

throw an underscore at the beginning and the

3:09

end of that, depending on where you're looking

3:11

for me, because well, somebody else took the

3:14

damn handle. That was the easiest. There

3:16

they are. I

3:20

aggressively play

3:23

TTRPGs in vampire

3:25

form a lot. So like

3:27

Vampire the Masquerade and basically

3:31

anything else that has a bloodsucker

3:33

archetype handed to me, I will

3:35

roll dice and I'll be happy. Usually

3:38

with the fine folks over at Queens Court Games, when

3:40

I'm not at Queens Court Games, you can find me

3:42

with Obsidian Brews, the all black tabletop collective. Amazing,

3:45

thank you so much. And

3:47

Laura, I have an icebreaker question for

3:50

you that is related to the game

3:52

that we're about to play. Shoot. And

3:54

that question is, if you had to

3:56

choose between day forever and night forever,

3:59

which would you? choose and why. Night

4:01

forever. Without question, I

4:03

hate being sweaty and it is sweaty

4:05

and hot in the sun. Screw that. Yeah.

4:08

Wait, do you want to swear? Yes,

4:12

yes, yes. Fuck that. Then fuck

4:14

that. I have not. Fuck

4:16

that. Very

4:19

good. But

4:22

do you, my love, would you

4:24

please introduce yourself? How amazing and

4:26

cool you are and answer that

4:29

same very question. Of course. Hey,

4:31

everyone. I'm Vaditya Valetti. I

4:33

am my pronouns are he him. I'm

4:36

an interactive artist, game designer

4:38

and educator. I

4:41

make games. That's all I do. That's all

4:43

I love doing. You

4:47

can find me online at Vaditya

4:49

Valetti because I have very

4:51

good SEO. And

4:56

and you can find my games at

4:58

Vaditya Valetti.h.io like

5:02

the one that we're playing today

5:04

and other ones like Long Sword,

5:07

Space Goblins, Space Between

5:09

Stars. I don't know. I got

5:11

a I got a wide range of them. Absolutely.

5:14

And day forever or

5:16

night forever. So I. You

5:20

know, it's like one of those things where you're like for

5:23

several years, like so many years in my life,

5:25

I'm like, oh, I'm like a night person. I'm

5:27

like a late night. I stay up late. I

5:29

sleep in. I don't like the morning. Yeah,

5:32

I realize that that's probably

5:35

because of depression. Mornings

5:38

are actually pretty great.

5:42

I was like, I was like, what the

5:44

fuck if I wake up in the morning,

5:46

like and the first first thing I get

5:48

is like beautiful morning sunshine in my face,

5:50

like things are good

5:52

and nice. Are you going to

5:54

tell me that walking actually is good for

5:57

my mental health? Because I really don't want to

5:59

hear. I know. who's

10:02

with us here today and is

10:04

a game about vampires a

10:07

little bit different than a lot of the vampire

10:09

games that we are more

10:11

well known in the tabletop

10:13

space. But right here,

10:15

Laura is someone I

10:18

just instantly think of any time that

10:20

I think of vampires. And

10:23

just because I

10:25

love your portrayal of

10:27

vampires and also one of your

10:29

biggest projects that I am enamored

10:32

with is your project on

10:34

Queensport Gaming. And Josephine,

10:36

you also are someone that I

10:39

think of when I think vampires.

10:42

I am so happy. I

10:44

have so many gifts of you about to bite someone. There

10:51

are so many. Good,

10:56

good, good, good. Yeah, that's great. Working

11:00

as intended, actually. Yeah,

11:02

and Vidalia is actually

11:04

a vampire. There,

11:08

I don't know if you, the audience

11:10

of this podcast can't see him, but

11:12

he is the most vampire looking dude

11:14

I've ever seen. You

11:16

do look like you were frozen

11:18

in time. I'm giving

11:20

Armand. Yeah,

11:23

he's giving Armand. I'm like, am I

11:25

going to be a weirdo? Josephine,

11:29

I'll do it for you. Thank you. Thank

11:32

you. I

11:35

will. That is an incredible government, yeah. You

11:39

did just text me the other day

11:41

a picture of like some old, old

11:43

painting in a museum that looked exactly

11:46

like you. If

11:48

you go to the Metropolitan Museum of

11:50

Art in New York City, right, and

11:52

you go to the Egyptian section, like

11:55

you walk into the entrance of the

11:57

Egyptian section, you make a left. There

11:59

is a series of few. Funeral portraits,

12:01

this is like a quest I'm giving

12:03

somebody. Do this. If you're listening to

12:06

this and you go to the Met,

12:08

take a selfie with my funeral portrait,

12:10

Jeff Stormer. There's

12:14

Roman era Egyptian funeral portraits

12:17

and one of them looks exactly like me.

12:19

It's uncanny, it's ridiculous. It's proof that

12:21

I think- Are you going to get in

12:23

trouble for outing yourself like this? I think that's a

12:26

mass grade, Rachel, I did. I

12:30

don't think anybody's going to listen to this.

12:35

That's fine. No

12:39

worries. I

12:43

spot it. When

12:49

this comes out, if I've mysteriously disappeared, this

12:51

is what- Well, no. Yeah.

12:54

We're going to blame it on Jeff Stormer. It's fine. So

12:57

we had started to

12:59

build our characters. This game,

13:01

Bloodbeam Badlands, is a game

13:03

about vampires in a apocalypse

13:06

wherein the sun is both

13:08

toxic and never setting. So

13:11

the vampires that exist in this world are

13:14

a little bit wrong and

13:17

have these very special and unique

13:20

types of abilities that they have.

13:23

Vidya, can you tell me the type

13:25

of vampire you are and just a

13:27

couple of little facts about you and

13:29

your vampire? Yeah.

13:33

So my vampire is a phantom

13:36

blood. That means that they

13:39

kind of house ghosts in their

13:41

heart and they have a cool

13:43

thing called a phantasm, which is

13:46

like a ghost that

13:48

they can summon and kind

13:50

of does cool things

13:55

for them. And

13:57

I think like my vampire- only

14:00

knows the apocalypse. I think

14:03

they turned afterwards.

14:06

I'm leaning into a gunslingery

14:08

vampire thing. They look

14:11

like a cool outlaw cowboy. Sick.

14:18

You said that they

14:20

are like a gunslingery

14:22

vibe. I'm picturing a

14:24

pretty standard cowboy. How

14:26

does your cowboy vampire

14:28

protect himself from the

14:30

sun? I

14:32

want to go just

14:34

classic big brimmed hat.

14:38

Oh, hell yeah. Really big.

14:40

Really big. Really big.

14:43

Really big hat. I

14:46

think there's bullet holes in it. Which

14:50

is kind of like some like

14:52

kind of goes through, but it's

14:54

cool. It's aesthetically cool. Yeah, it's

14:56

placed just so that the

14:58

light that comes in just

15:01

misses me. Just misses me. Yeah,

15:03

perfect. I don't think there's also a

15:05

big star on the side of it.

15:08

Oh, I don't know if he was the sheriff at some point.

15:12

Like self-appointed. Yeah. Yeah.

15:17

That's it. I'm picturing

15:19

like stars as like

15:22

an aesthetic. I got,

15:24

you know, Spurs that jingle

15:26

jangle jingle. Nice. I'm

15:29

imagining like glitter stars at this point,

15:31

but this is great. We could

15:33

do glitter stars, you know? Love

15:35

glitter stars. I'm not opposed to a glitter

15:37

star or two. Laura,

15:41

can you tell me what kind of

15:43

vampire you are? A little bit about

15:45

this vampire. Some of the things that

15:47

they can do. What

15:51

they look like. So I

15:53

have taken the Umbral shift

15:56

vampire, which means that

15:58

they are attuned to the demiplane of. which

16:00

is also known as the Deep Umbra,

16:02

which is just too

16:05

cool to not go

16:07

with. Oh

16:09

my God, oh my God. I didn't

16:11

read the entire titling on this. So

16:14

connected to the Deep Umbra, your soul

16:17

is an unstable void connecting you to

16:19

it. Because of this

16:21

attachment, you do not cast a shadow.

16:25

Yeah, yeah. So that's baller.

16:28

But yeah, I'm thinking like we're going

16:31

for the vibe of

16:37

Mily Jovovich and I think it

16:39

was like the third, oh

16:43

God, what's the damn movie? The

16:46

zombie movies that never die. There's

16:48

on like number eight right now. Resident Evil, that's

16:50

it. Resident Evil, yay.

16:53

With the like cowl

16:55

and hood and like fully,

16:58

clothed to survive the wasted

17:00

desert of Las Vegas. Amazing,

17:06

beautiful. Love that, love that.

17:09

Do you have a name

17:11

in mind? I

17:13

do, I'm thinking of

17:15

Jude Wyatt. Love

17:18

Jude Wyatt, oh that's a great

17:20

name. Pronouns? Pronouns

17:22

would be they them. And

17:25

as far as their age, don't worry about it. Great,

17:30

love that. Don't

17:32

worry about it, it's fine, I'm sure it's fine. Yeah,

17:34

no, apparently I can throw things in and out of

17:36

the shadow realm. So that's gonna be fun to screw

17:38

with. I'm sure that won't have

17:40

any consequences down the line. No, not

17:43

at all. I'm sure this is the same

17:45

thing. And then how are you protecting yourself

17:47

from the sun, the ever present toxic sun?

17:52

Yeah, I think like I said, it's very much like

17:55

someone who is used to wandering

17:57

more of a desert climate. me

17:59

a lot of linen and cotton

18:03

and a cowl and

18:05

a hood combo that basically keeps

18:07

everything but the eyes covered. Yeah.

18:10

Mm-hmm. Cool. Yeah,

18:12

yeah, yeah. Awesome. Love

18:14

that. Josephine, can you tell us a little bit

18:17

about your vampire? Yes.

18:20

I'm playing a haemoturge. I'm just

18:23

going to read the little blurb that's under it. It

18:26

was for you, everything changed when you

18:28

were inflicted with the vampiric curse. Your

18:30

blood became a potent arcane

18:33

conduit allowing you greater magical

18:35

heights unheard of before. I

18:37

just want to like anyone that is over here

18:39

because of LA by night, I know that I've

18:41

played a blood witch for

18:44

a long time. This is nothing

18:46

like her. It's different. It's different.

18:48

It's totally different. It's different blood magic. That

18:51

is not why I chose it. So

18:54

I have a spell book that contains

18:56

arcane secrets. My grimoire

18:58

has the Aegis spell domain,

19:01

which is a domain of

19:03

protection. My

19:05

incantations are shield, mend,

19:07

and inspire. My

19:10

name is just

19:14

Doc. Doc

19:17

and the she they pronouns. They're

19:20

going to be 224. I've

19:23

amended this. 294 years old. Basically,

19:26

they just got through medical school. The

19:29

apocalypse. The apocalypse happened.

19:34

That's even worse. At

19:39

least you don't have to pay off the student loan

19:41

debt. Yeah, exactly. Oh, there

19:43

you go. Loan forgiveness. There

19:45

you go. Yeah, the apocalypse is loan

19:47

forgiveness. You heard it here. They

19:52

look like a Celine bartender, a white.

20:00

button up that's rolled up over

20:03

rippling muscles and suspenders

20:06

and has tattoos and

20:08

scars all over their

20:10

arms. Just very worn

20:12

and gruff. The

20:14

same with the shirt has old

20:17

blood stains and dirt and nothing is

20:19

clean. Skin is grayish

20:21

in pallor. I don't know why. It's

20:24

just that's just what it is.

20:28

And let's say red

20:31

eyes, I don't know, blood magic. And

20:34

some very, we're

20:36

going to say like pale

20:38

long hair, but it's never down. It's always

20:40

like braided up and out of the way. But

20:44

yeah, strong and very tall, like burly.

20:49

Yeah. Hell yeah. How

20:52

is she protecting herself

20:54

from the sun? I

20:57

think this is so not

20:59

cool. You guys are very cool. I

21:02

think that she has this really

21:04

large bag that she travels with

21:06

and it has a big awning

21:08

that protrudes above

21:10

and over. I

21:13

love that. Just kind of always this

21:15

little. And I feel like it can almost

21:17

extend into a little tent situation to

21:19

do a little triage and treatment of people

21:22

on the go. Oh,

21:24

cool. That's fun. I like that.

21:27

Vadiea Valedi, tell me your

21:30

vampire's name. I can't. Violence

21:36

immediately. This

21:39

is an audio medium. I pointed my fingers

21:41

at him like a gun. Yes, it was

21:44

terrifying. Very

21:46

apt, actually. I'm going to name my vampire.

21:49

Gun. Bang. Bang.

21:53

Bang. OK. So

21:55

not much different. Not much different at all.

21:57

I don't think I'm doing like she. She

22:00

pronouns. He, yeah.

22:02

Love that so much. Do

22:05

you have an age or age

22:07

range in mind? Younger.

22:10

So like. Young ish. Yeah. Yeah.

22:12

Okay. Perfect. Love

22:15

that. So big. So big.

22:18

I think it's like. I love it. Younger.

22:21

We have exactly 224 years old. We

22:24

have age, don't worry about it and

22:27

young kind of. Those

22:29

are where we are at in the

22:31

time spectrum. Like

22:36

younger than what? Exactly.

22:41

I just younger than you. I'll be like I'm younger than you.

22:44

That's what the adventure is going to be

22:46

is figure out how. I'm age. Is

22:49

the youngest. Do

22:52

you, I would like

22:54

to imagine that you all at least

22:57

know each other. Somehow you

22:59

don't have to be best friends. You don't have to

23:01

be super super close, but I would

23:03

like everybody to know of at least each other

23:05

or know each other in some way. So

23:09

if anybody has any ideas that

23:12

are sparking forward, otherwise, I'll try

23:14

to try to tie

23:16

some lines. I'm like

23:18

99.9% sure

23:21

that Jude would have tried to pick someone's pocket at

23:23

some point. They've got

23:25

sticky sticky fingers. Yeah.

23:28

What's our society status of this wasteland?

23:36

Are there little pockets of societies?

23:38

Oh. Sorry.

23:41

That was the weirdest way for me

23:44

to ask. No, no, no. That's a

23:46

good question. So there is society. It

23:49

is it's very much

23:51

like outlaws

23:54

and I think

23:56

there is like the wasteland where things

23:58

are a little more. times

26:00

dude stop

26:02

doing it you know like or

26:05

be better stop letting me like

26:07

when you get away with it

26:09

i'll be happy but you keep

26:11

getting caught and that's what

26:13

pisses me off do you think i like stepped

26:15

into like mediate for

26:18

sure yeah yeah 100 i think you know we can even just

26:20

i think i shot jude

26:25

and you picture up

26:28

yeah yeah there

26:32

it is there it is

26:34

okay so jude pickpocketed bang

26:37

bang shot jude and then

26:39

they both hobbled over to

26:41

duck who patched

26:44

up jude yeah

26:46

we we gotta work together to

26:48

survive in this place you know it's like can't

26:51

be doing this shit i

26:53

know what do you keep trying

26:55

to steal i feel like

26:58

you've stolen something from you've attempted

27:00

to steal from bang twice at

27:03

least what is the thing you're

27:05

trying to steal i don't know if

27:07

it's anything in particular is the thing

27:09

it's definitely like a compulsion like

27:11

just because i can like

27:14

most of the time stealing for profit

27:16

and or because i'm getting like kind

27:19

of a treasure hunter vibe like wants

27:21

to find the greatest treasure that is

27:23

left in these horrid wastes and sometimes

27:26

i get bored and take

27:28

shit they're trying to steal a sense

27:30

of purpose that's

27:34

that's that's the character there it is

27:37

there it is that's it

27:39

stealing a sense of purpose

27:42

is amazing um

27:46

okay so we all we all know each

27:48

other we've got a little bit of a

27:50

backstory oh i think

27:52

that my costs for my services are usually

27:55

like these sort of like moral

27:57

challenges where i'm like you all have to

28:00

You all need to work together. I

28:02

won't treat you unless you show

28:04

me that you can work together

28:06

and help us survive because we

28:08

are already limited in our. Have

28:11

we already had a small adventure together?

28:14

Where it's like, you have to work together. It's like

28:16

a bar fight kind of broke

28:18

out and

28:20

you're like, I won't patch you up until

28:22

you help these poor folks or something, right?

28:25

That just happened to have a job for

28:27

me. Yeah. Yeah.

28:31

Awesome. Awesome. All

28:34

right. I think.

28:38

I think we're ready to go to the wasteland.

28:41

Let's do it. Let's

28:43

do it. Let's do it. You

28:45

have survived the apocalypse and

28:48

your worst nightmare has come true. The

28:51

sun burns redder, brighter and

28:53

hotter, never setting the forever

28:56

dawn. The land

28:58

has been irradiated and kissed by

29:00

its strange sanguine rays, warping the

29:02

world into a carnival for the

29:05

strange and the supernatural. Today

29:08

is the

29:11

day of a more literal carnival.

29:14

Usually that is a

29:17

convenient terminology we use

29:19

to describe this hell

29:21

we now reside within.

29:25

But we do find some

29:27

moments for fun and

29:30

in our own new way tonight,

29:33

today, as it is always day,

29:36

is the dark carnival. You

29:39

would be there because who wouldn't be? It

29:44

is a spectacular

29:47

and sensational event where all

29:50

of the supernatural creatures from

29:52

near and far

29:55

travel to see old

29:58

friends to play a weird. games

30:00

and to find

30:03

out new news,

30:06

gossip, things that

30:08

may benefit us

30:10

here in the wasteland once

30:12

the carnival itself is over.

30:16

Inside, or actually I should say

30:18

from just outside of where the

30:20

dark carnival is propped

30:22

up, there are

30:26

these sort of tattered

30:30

sheets that are levitating

30:32

magically in the sky

30:35

above where the carnival takes

30:38

place and from the outside

30:40

where it is glaringly, horrifically

30:42

day. Once

30:46

you peer inside,

30:48

there is inexplicable

30:50

darkness. You

30:53

would know that this darkness is

30:55

simply a magical illusion meant

30:57

to mimic the night. It

30:59

will not protect you. So

31:02

you must not let your guard

31:04

down and forget that the sun's

31:06

rays really are still here. But

31:10

for the sake of pretend, you

31:12

get to have one

31:14

evening of night. It's

31:27

a mid-roll gang. I have some new things

31:29

that I would like to share with you.

31:32

This first one is a bit of an

31:34

impulsive one, but if there are any Dragon

31:36

Age fans in the studio tonight, my best

31:38

friend Robin and I are playing through the

31:40

trilogy and discussing it book club style on

31:43

our new podcast Dorkspawn aiming to finish the

31:45

series before Vale Guard comes out, which is

31:48

allegedly in the fall sometime? I

31:50

don't know. Also in

31:52

other big news, I have a new

31:54

game coming to Kickstarter that I have

31:56

created with Megan Cross called Hunt. A

31:59

fast-paced game. paced game for two players about

32:01

what it means to be a monster.

32:03

The Kickstarter page is open for you

32:06

to save right now, but the campaign

32:08

is launching on July 15th. Now

32:10

let's hear some ads and get back to

32:12

the wasteland. Host

32:14

the ultimate backyard barbecue with Whole

32:16

Foods Market. It's the hot grill

32:18

summer event through July 16th with

32:21

sizzling sales on no antibiotics ever,

32:23

boneless beef ribeye steak and beef

32:25

New York strip steak. Plus check

32:27

out sales on sustainable wild cod

32:29

Alaska sockeye salmon, organic strawberries and

32:31

more. In a hurry, choose grab

32:33

and go favorites like picnic salads

32:36

and sushi, plus plenty of cooler

32:38

friendly beverages. Make it a hot

32:40

grill summer at Whole Foods Market.

32:52

Stepping inside the dark carnival,

32:55

some of the things that

32:57

you see, you see a

32:59

big display, a big metal

33:01

case. It's like one of

33:03

those old world fortune

33:05

telling machines where you would put a

33:07

quarter in and get like a pre-written

33:09

piece of paper, except

33:12

inside of it, there

33:14

is a slightly humanoid

33:16

bat that is slamming

33:18

on the inside of the glass

33:22

angrily until someone comes along

33:25

and puts in a quarter

33:27

and you see the bat

33:29

grab a piece of paper

33:31

and angrily scribble something down

33:33

and then flies up out

33:35

of the cage and throws

33:38

it at them. It goes

33:40

back inside and continues to

33:42

slip them on the glass,

33:44

beckoning more customers over to

33:46

get their fortune read. I

33:49

was like, did you say humanoid looking

33:52

bat? Yeah, it's got

33:54

bat wings, but tiny human

33:56

body, like an angry old.

34:00

It's a very angry pixie is

34:02

what I'm picturing. It's a very

34:04

angry pixie for sure. Incredible.

34:08

Thank you so much. I

34:10

love it. I

34:12

love it. I love

34:14

it. I love it. I

34:18

love it. I love it. I

34:22

love it. I

34:24

love it. I love

34:26

it. I love it. I

34:30

would like everyone to just say

34:34

something that you see at this market. Could

34:37

be something about the decor in here.

34:39

Could be something about a

34:41

person walking around or a display or

34:43

something. Anything that comes to your

34:45

mind. There's like a, how

34:47

about, this is so stupid.

34:50

There's like a stall that's

34:52

like, it just says

34:54

like, remember your roots. And

34:57

inside there's like little

35:00

footholds where you can just hang

35:02

upside down from and

35:05

just spend time in

35:09

like a sort of cave

35:11

like setting. And there's like little

35:14

fruits as well, like for you to

35:17

nibble on. This

35:20

makes zero sense. I can't explain it. This

35:23

is for bat people. This

35:25

is for not just vampires,

35:28

but anybody who is a

35:30

bat descended monster. Yeah.

35:34

I mean, we clearly know some of them already work here. So

35:37

clearly. I want

35:39

there to be a family essentially that runs this carnival.

35:42

This is a family run joint. Yeah.

35:45

And so everyone can feel what it's like to

35:47

be a little more bat like for a bit.

35:51

Yeah. I like that. It's

35:53

called remember your roots. I think that

35:55

the bat folk that run

35:58

the dark carnival have forgotten. that

36:00

some people aren't bats. And

36:03

they're just like, this is what everyone needs.

36:06

Is they need to hang upside down and chew

36:08

on some fruit. Yeah. I

36:12

know what bats do clearly. We

36:17

all do. This

36:20

podcast is scientific for

36:22

sure. It is completely.

36:24

Some reputable stars. I

36:27

love that. I wish I could

36:29

see videos of bats hanging upside down eating fruit,

36:31

but they definitely don't do that, do they? We're

36:35

in real world. They do. They

36:37

for sure at least do both of those things. And

36:42

I think, you know, we're

36:44

on limited time here. Yeah, there

36:46

we go. You got

36:49

to do it at the same time in this world.

36:55

I'm picturing like there's definitely

36:57

a section of this carnival

36:59

that's just like Barker's Row.

37:02

So just like stall after stall after

37:04

stall after stall. And some people

37:06

are like hawking whatever

37:08

food they can ground together in these arid wastes.

37:12

And then people are like selling

37:14

crap that obviously doesn't belong to

37:16

them. Oh, for sure. And then like

37:19

everything from like defunct car

37:21

parts to like weird

37:24

scraps together clothing, just like

37:26

everything you could possibly want in the middle of

37:28

this God's forsaken irradiated place.

37:30

Yeah. Yeah,

37:34

absolutely. I

37:37

want a roller coaster. Yeah,

37:39

I think there's I want like

37:42

carnival games. We're

37:45

not like not just the boots, but like

37:48

there's a like a tilt a whirl or

37:50

something. Yeah, a roller

37:53

coaster. And a tilt a

37:55

whirl and a roller coaster for sure. I

37:57

think I think it would be really funny in. in

38:00

the in the post

38:03

apocalypse that we've created here for there to

38:05

be one of those centrifugal

38:07

force rides where you just

38:10

like because I feel like

38:13

all the people in those as you're

38:15

spinning around always make the worst facial

38:17

expressions. And I'm just picturing like like

38:19

a werewolf with like his like cheeks

38:22

laughing in the wind and like.

38:27

Yeah. And then the roller

38:29

coaster in particular, I

38:32

want to I want to say that we got to

38:34

it can't just be a regular roller coaster. It can't

38:36

just be a regular coaster. Yeah, something's got to

38:39

be weird about it. Oh, yeah.

38:41

Oh, for sure. So what

38:43

if it is a roller coaster that's

38:46

called like heaven and hell

38:48

and it just goes like

38:50

up into the stratosphere and

38:52

then all the way down below the crust of the

38:54

earth and like it's

38:57

into like and like just skirts over

38:59

like a little bit of lava. And

39:01

yeah, like just on the edge of

39:04

where you would die. Yeah,

39:06

actually there. Yeah. Yeah, it

39:09

only runs once this whole

39:11

evening because it takes so

39:13

long. Yeah, right. It's

39:17

got to be really difficult to get a ticket

39:19

to it's like yeah, yeah,

39:22

highly coveted. It's like getting on

39:24

the Titanic. It's so are

39:27

you maybe invited? Oh,

39:29

I like that. Yeah, it's like really

39:31

it's it's special to be on

39:33

that roller coaster. When you win a ride, you

39:39

get invited. You know,

39:41

yeah, I will

39:43

say none of you were

39:46

privileged enough to get a

39:48

ticket to the heaven and

39:51

hell roller coaster. That's funny.

39:53

Yeah, I'm unhappy about it. But

39:55

yeah, yeah, of course. I

39:57

did put my name on watery, but it's funny. Oh,

40:00

with the lottery. Well, that could be like seven years

40:02

from now. Who knows? You

40:07

do, however, know

40:09

that there are probably people here who have

40:12

tickets who are just walking around or

40:15

could be swindled out of them somehow.

40:19

That's definitely true. What? One

40:25

other booth that you know is always

40:27

here is

40:30

that the person responsible for

40:32

this delightful, nighttime

40:34

illusion, a very powerful

40:37

witch called She. And

40:40

she has a booth here

40:43

somewhere in the center of

40:46

the carnival itself. You

40:49

would know of her. Her attention

40:51

is very coveted because she often

40:53

has, what

40:56

a lot of people come here for is news

40:59

that might make this life on the

41:01

apocalypse a little bit better or more

41:03

fun or easier. You

41:06

can find out things here like

41:08

about trains with coveted items

41:11

coming through town or gangs

41:14

that are supposed to be rolling

41:17

through that might be intercepted. Things

41:19

like that that you can always hear

41:21

rumors about here at the

41:24

dark carnival. Can I

41:26

ask? So we've got

41:28

other supernatural beings here. What's

41:31

the human situation? There

41:36

are very few humans here

41:38

who are not human plus. And

41:45

I think that if you do see them,

41:48

like you might watch

41:50

out because they're sort of like angler fish.

41:52

Like if there's a human that is not

41:54

like a... supernatural

42:00

thing like it's either

42:03

not yet and it's about to

42:05

be or

42:09

or it's a trap. So I would say

42:11

there's not much. Yeah. Are they antagonistic towards

42:13

the supernatural? Like, is it is it not

42:15

a no, I think

42:17

they're pretty exclusively prey in

42:20

this. The supernatural are are

42:22

the dominant thing here in

42:24

the wasteland. Mm hmm. It's

42:27

not fun for anybody, but they

42:29

they will. We're not for

42:32

them. Yeah, definitely not. Yeah. For

42:34

humans, at least. No,

42:36

for sure. But

42:38

they are the tastiest, presumably. For

42:40

sure. I think so. Yeah,

42:42

because definitely the test is. I guess

42:45

the humans that are not humans plus means

42:48

they don't have like irradiated blood. So

42:51

they everything alive here

42:53

has irradiated blood. OK.

42:57

Yeah, sadly, it's pretty much

42:59

all spoiled. It's still, you

43:01

know, sometimes you got to drink it, but

43:04

yeah, it's pretty poison. Yeah.

43:07

There is a kerfuffle

43:10

that starts to erupt

43:12

over by the fortune

43:14

telling bat baby, who

43:17

has just thrown a fortune

43:20

at a bi-pedal

43:23

shark man. Who

43:27

whose gills are just

43:29

like spraying water

43:32

everywhere as he screams

43:35

and bangs back on the glass at this

43:37

bat baby, presumably that he

43:40

didn't like his fortune. But they are going

43:42

at it and a couple of his

43:44

friends who are who

43:46

are also, of course, sharks, yeah, yeah,

43:49

are pulling him back. And the bat

43:51

baby does not seem worried, but it is

43:53

causing a bit of a commotion over there.

43:56

This commotion could be considered

43:58

a good distraction. if

44:01

you were looking for one, but it

44:03

could also be, but

44:07

it could also be a fun

44:09

thing to watch play out. What would you

44:11

like to do? I definitely like to

44:13

approach. I think I'm nosy. Obviously I can't

44:15

keep my business out of kerfaffles.

44:19

Sure, sure, sure. You have a good heart. Does that

44:21

mean you see a problem? You

44:24

mean well? Yeah, for

44:26

sure. I will

44:28

sidle up on the

44:31

side of the baby bat. Like

44:33

I kind of want to get close to

44:36

that container. And maybe if we're all together,

44:38

I will say like y'all

44:40

want to get your fortunes read. There's

44:44

a baby bat over there. I hear they're real

44:47

good at that. The one that's

44:49

currently being harangued.

44:51

Accosted in some way, yeah. I mean, we

44:53

could probably sort that out. And then we

44:56

might get one on the house. As

44:58

entire with the hospital. See

45:00

what the issue is. Let's

45:04

do a little cowboy walkover. We

45:07

got a cowboy walkover. Yeah, of

45:10

course, in unison I imagine. And

45:13

you saddle up next to the glass

45:15

cage and you see this shark

45:18

man just. I'm telling

45:20

you, you got to give me a different

45:22

fortune. I want a different one. I want

45:24

a better one. Or you're going to be

45:27

on the roller coaster over there. And

45:29

it's never going to stop. How

45:34

is the bat taking this, right? You said that

45:36

the bat's not worried. I cannot wait

45:38

to hear. It's just like, and

45:41

like sticking its bat tongue

45:43

out and like, taunting this

45:47

man. So

45:50

the bat does not look like it's in

45:52

a lot of danger. Excuse

45:56

me, sir. I mean, what was so

45:59

bad about the fortune? that you got. Well,

46:02

first things first, the

46:04

fortune said that I'm ugly. And

46:09

I am ugly. I

46:11

am a very handsome

46:13

shark. Yeah,

46:17

right. Well,

46:20

you know, beauty is in the eye of

46:22

the beholder and you can't expect baby,

46:26

well, I'm sorry. What is your

46:28

name? And it asked lean

46:30

towards the baby that baby

46:33

that takes out a fully lit cigar

46:35

from behind his back and takes

46:38

a big puff of it and says the

46:41

name's Frank and this

46:45

is my booth. And

46:47

I just give the fortunes as I see them.

46:54

Yeah, yeah. I mean, see

46:57

what Frank said, Frank, maybe

47:00

doesn't find you attractive. And that wasn't a very

47:02

nice thing for Frank to say to you, but

47:04

do you think that if you get another fortune

47:06

from Frank that it was gonna get any better

47:08

for you, sir? Yeah, I

47:11

mean, I saw a

47:13

fellow got a fortune that said that they

47:15

were gonna be rich. I

47:17

want a fortune like that one. I

47:19

want a fortune that says I'm gonna

47:21

be rich now that I am ugly.

47:23

That's not even a fortune. Yes, honey.

47:26

Bang something glass again. That

47:28

is not a fortune. All right. Josephine,

47:33

would you like to try the

47:35

first role of this game? I

47:38

think if you're trying to calm

47:41

the energies here between

47:45

these two, I think

47:47

depending on what you're going with,

47:49

we could argue for either Guile

47:51

or guys. If you're

47:53

just trying to kind of outsmart

47:56

them, or

47:59

if you're trying. to sort of

48:01

charm your way into calming things

48:03

down. What do you think is

48:05

more your speed

48:07

here? Actually,

48:09

could I can I use a

48:11

spell? You sure can. What spell

48:13

would you like to use? Well, I yeah,

48:17

I don't know if these are defined somewhere, but

48:19

I was just going to interpret what I thought they

48:22

might be. But

48:24

there is an inspire spell. And

48:28

I feel like I just want to like, hmm.

48:30

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you

48:32

want me to explain the way

48:35

it works is like it is it is

48:37

very loose. So you're OK. You

48:39

basically like pick like an

48:41

anchor. So it's like one

48:43

or two words that can either be a target,

48:45

a modifier range or a new aspect of the

48:47

scene. And then like

48:50

you speak the so it's like it's

48:52

almost like power words. So you're like

48:54

inspire, like inspire

48:57

friendship. Right. And then

48:59

friendship would be your like anchor to

49:01

the crowd of people or something. OK.

49:05

And then we're like shield. Jude,

49:07

and then that would be like the spell

49:10

that you cast. Right. Yeah.

49:12

OK. So it's like powerful.

49:15

You got to keep things kind of tight. Yeah.

49:17

So can I do like I think

49:19

I got to spend a blood point, I think.

49:23

And I want to put put

49:26

my hand on this shark man's

49:28

shoulder. I shoulder. Yeah,

49:30

they have shoulders. It's a

49:32

shoulder fin. It's like sort of, you know,

49:35

where does one shark on top? Legs

49:38

on the bottom. No, full

49:41

shark. The fins are just sort

49:44

of wiggling. Oh, my. As

49:46

he walks. His tail. Yeah,

49:49

his tail is like his feet

49:52

like a like a cartoon. Like a Hanna

49:54

Barbera shark. Yeah.

49:57

Yeah. It's like he's

49:59

wearing a pair. of shorts that still

50:01

do have two legs, but his

50:03

tail is just through one of them and the

50:05

other is just sort of hanging

50:08

loose at the side. Yeah, okay.

50:10

So I touched

50:13

this shark man's shoulder and

50:16

I'll say inspire

50:18

perspective. I

50:21

was saying, look man, I

50:23

don't know you, but you

50:25

can make your own fortune. You don't

50:27

need Frank to tell you what you

50:29

can or can't do or what awaits

50:32

you in these lands. You gotta claim

50:34

that for yourself. You gotta believe, you

50:36

gotta see that within yourself. Look around

50:38

you and look at all your, look

50:40

at your shark friends here with you.

50:44

You're not alone. Like sure, this

50:46

may be, you may be the

50:48

worst off as

50:50

a water-dwelling creature that got

50:52

into an endless sun, invested

50:56

wasteland in the desert, but

50:58

not a drip of water

51:00

inside, but you

51:03

are still here. You're still

51:05

surviving. Look at

51:07

you. You got so much to be proud

51:09

of and you got so much to

51:11

look forward to. Keep that

51:13

chin up. That's right. Keep that.

51:16

Frank, I'm gonna make my own fortune. Fang

51:19

up that fin up, you know what I

51:21

mean. Mm-hmm. You're

51:24

a good, you're a good person. That's

51:27

really cool. That's really

51:29

cool. Yeah. All right.

51:31

Well, I'm just gonna take this fortune

51:34

and I'm gonna give it right back

51:36

to you, Frank. And he throws it

51:38

at the cave. And

51:41

he says, I'm gonna go make my own

51:43

fortune and I'm gonna make it so that

51:45

I'm handsome. And then he

51:47

starts to wiggle away and

51:50

his shark buddies, they all

51:52

wiggle away on their tails

51:54

toward. You know what I think? I think it's

51:56

like one of those little

51:59

kitty roller coasters. is where the cars

52:01

that you all sit in are all show

52:03

the charts. This

52:12

episode of One Shot uses music from

52:14

the following artists. Salt

52:17

and the Wound by Ender. We

52:19

Ascend by Michael Bruguglio.

52:23

Wicked Curiosities by Dresden Loflamingo. A

52:26

Wizard's World by Wicked Cinema. Strange

52:29

Visitors by Andy Ellison. And

52:32

Devil's Doorstep by Wastelandr. This

52:35

episode of One Shot was edited and

52:37

sound designed by Tracy Barnett. You can

52:39

find more of their work online anywhere

52:41

at TheOtherTracy. There

52:54

you have it, that is part one

52:56

of Bloodbeam Badlands. I am so hyped

52:58

about this game and I can't wait

53:00

to have the full version in my

53:02

little mitts. Vatiguaviletti is such

53:04

a genius to me, I am so

53:06

starry eyed about him and he knows

53:08

this. And then on top

53:10

of that to be joined by such

53:12

quintessential vampire players as Laura and Josephine

53:14

is just a dream to me. I

53:17

was really blessed, toe to toe, by this

53:19

entire series. And before I go,

53:21

I want to say since this is going to be One

53:23

Shot's last episode that's going to air during

53:26

Pride this year, I

53:28

wanted to say how much I love

53:30

being a queer person, how much I

53:32

love the way games have intersected and

53:34

contributed to that journey for me, and

53:36

how much my journey through

53:39

the world of games and through

53:41

queer identity and through my relationship

53:43

to activism are all so deeply

53:45

interconnected. I feel

53:47

so lucky for my life and I am so

53:50

thankful for all the communities that I get to

53:52

share it with and that includes you. So I

53:54

wanted to say thank you and happy

53:56

Pride. As always, thank you

53:58

to the wonderfully generous. people who support OneShot

54:01

on Patreon. But if you want to support

54:03

the show in a non-monetary way, it is

54:05

as simple as just talking about the show.

54:08

Tell your friends about the show, rate, or

54:10

leave a review, or tag

54:12

us on socials and tell

54:14

us your thoughts. For updates

54:16

and OneShot news, please follow

54:18

me on Twitter, Instagram, or

54:20

TikTok at Superdylan, that's S-U-P-E-R,

54:22

D-I-L-L-I-N, or check for

54:24

updates on our website at oneshotpodcast.com.

54:28

For information about ad rates,

54:30

live appearances, commissioning episodes, or

54:32

a general comment, please message

54:35

me at dylan at oneshotpodcast.com.

54:37

Again, that's D-I-L-L-I-N. Finally,

54:40

the music creeping up behind me

54:42

is Adventure by Be Your Own

54:44

Pet, courtesy of Infinity Cap Records.

54:46

I can't wait to have you

54:48

back for our next adventure, heroes.

54:50

Moments will be my biggest surprise. Hello,

54:52

friends. Welcome back to our live network. We have

54:55

a little hidden space around

54:57

here. I've never mentioned this before

54:59

too, but we can see the

55:01

path ofsnscest. We long to

55:25

in the universe of Starwall Odyssey

55:27

space is made out of the

55:30

collective imaginations of all the thinking

55:32

beings who live on various planets.

55:34

These worlds are connected to each

55:36

other through imagination. Common themes and

55:38

ideas are strings between universes and

55:40

to get between them people fly

55:43

wooden ships that look like animals,

55:45

which are powered by emotions. Also,

55:48

people communicate with each other by contemplating orbs.

55:50

The only way you can take pictures is getting stared at

55:53

by a big psychic bug and people

55:55

have already declared victory in a war over the very

55:57

concept of evil. But I'm getting

55:59

ahead of myself. Starwall Odyssey follows

56:01

the adventures of the hapless inhabitants

56:03

of the Lucky Finn Tenement Building,

56:05

who suddenly find that their apartment

56:07

is actually a spaceship, and that

56:10

they're lost in a sea of

56:12

boundless imagination. It's an actual play

56:14

starring me, James D'Amato, Mel D'Amato,

56:16

Ali Grower, and Drew Merzieski as

56:18

we playtest the No Kings system,

56:20

which will hopefully one day be

56:22

the Skyjacks role-playing system. It toes

56:25

the line between weird and wonderful

56:27

slice of life and high-flying space

56:29

fantasy. You can sample the first

56:31

five episodes by searching for Starwall

56:33

Odyssey on your favorite podcast app,

56:35

or get the whole thing by

56:37

heading to patreon.com/one-shot podcast and signing

56:39

up for $5 a month or

56:42

more.

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features