0:12

Hi, everybody, it's Rosy O'Donnell. Yes it

0:14

is, and this is onward my podcast,

0:17

this interview I jumped right in, so here

0:20

we go, Kaylee Schmidt. Take

0:22

a listen, okay,

0:34

everybody. So today's show is going

0:37

to be all about my experience

0:39

with Guide Dogs of America. I

0:42

can't even begin to put into

0:44

words just how

0:46

changed I am by the experience

0:49

of these people, what they do,

0:52

and what effect it has on the lives

0:54

of those people they are helping.

0:56

And so basically I'm

0:59

not an expert. I am just

1:01

a new mom of

1:03

an autism service dog. And

1:06

while I was there preparing

1:08

to go for my ten day lessons

1:12

at their dorms and their facility,

1:15

Guide Dogs of America And if

1:17

you want to go online now, if you're sitting home,

1:19

Guiddogsofamerica dot org, and

1:22

you can just get yourself familiar

1:25

with what it is that they do and what it is

1:27

that they offer. And so

1:30

they offer autism

1:32

service dogs for children

1:36

twelve and under. And

1:39

I did not know anything about this,

1:42

and I got involved and I

1:45

met someone who, to me,

1:47

should get Mother of the Year award every

1:49

year if they give them out. Kaylee,

1:52

I'm going to vote for you. She

1:55

is an autistic mom

1:57

married to an autistic man with

2:00

autistic children, and

2:02

she not only has a guide

2:04

dog that has changed her life and her family's

2:07

life. She took the time out while

2:09

I was going through this process with my

2:11

other autism mom at this place was

2:14

Laura, and she personally

2:16

got involved in helping us in Kay. I

2:18

got to tell you, it helped me so much

2:21

to have your support and to know another

2:24

autistic family that

2:26

had a service dog. Because

2:29

I don't know how you found out about it, but I

2:32

happened upon it randomly. I did

2:34

not know, as an autistic

2:36

mom for ten years that this was even

2:38

an option.

2:40

Yeah.

2:40

Yeah, I don't think it's commonly

2:42

known, you know, And

2:45

I think that people don't even

2:47

realize. For me, I didn't even know dogs

2:50

could do autism service work.

2:53

Me.

2:54

I knew about, you know, guide dogs for

2:57

seeing impaired people, but

3:00

that was the extent of my

3:02

knowledge. So when

3:05

my kids got their diagnosis, and then

3:07

subsequently my husband and I got our diagnosis,

3:11

I just decided that I was going to research

3:13

everything. It became my special interest. We

3:15

talk about special interests and autism all the

3:18

time, you know, and autism

3:20

is my special interest. So I

3:24

just started researching what could I do, How can

3:26

I help my kids, and

3:28

how can I help them exist in a world

3:31

that is not built for them,

3:33

you know, it's not built for

3:35

us, for the way our brains work.

3:37

And so.

3:39

Once I, once I found it, I

3:42

was like, this, this is it, Like, this

3:44

is the thing that we have to do. This is you

3:47

know, going to make a difference. And I had no idea

3:51

the impact it was going to have. And I

3:54

think you've already gotten to experience that a little

3:56

bit in the short time you've.

3:57

Had I'm in shock.

4:00

Yeah, yeah, I find myself brought

4:03

to tears almost every day, two or

4:05

three times a day, by the

4:07

change that I see in my child, by

4:10

the letters I'm getting from the teachers

4:12

and the counselors

4:15

in the school saying this was the greatest

4:17

week we've had. There's a

4:19

definite change in this child. And

4:23

you know, I wasn't so sure how

4:26

it was going to work, but you

4:29

really answered every question that Laura

4:31

and I had and made it so easy.

4:34

But before we get to that, can I ask

4:36

what ages were your children diagnosed

4:38

and did it go one at a time or did

4:41

you all three kids at once,

4:43

go there's something going on here.

4:45

Yeah, So so

4:47

that it's kind of a complicated answer, but I'll try

4:49

to make it as sorry as sweet

4:51

as I can.

4:52

But so for what.

4:54

Happened is I have my oldest is a girl,

4:57

and then I have two sons and

5:00

they're all five years apart, so right now they're

5:02

fourteen, nine and four.

5:04

And when my middle

5:07

guy was went.

5:08

Into kindergarten, so five years old, we

5:11

started noticing that he

5:13

was really struggling. He had a

5:16

really complicated entrance to life, a lot

5:18

of medically complex things, and so the things

5:20

we were seeing when he was a baby,

5:22

I think we dismissed because we thought they were

5:25

related to his medical care. And

5:27

of course he was afraid of people because

5:30

he had had so many procedures

5:33

that he was, you know, fearful, or

5:36

of course he struggled with some sensory

5:38

issues because he didn't eat my

5:40

mouth, he had a feeding tube, and so you

5:43

know, of course that would be related. And so

5:45

I think we kind of shoot off

5:47

some of the things that we were seeing. And

5:50

then at the same

5:52

time, our daughter was struggling,

5:55

but she was struggling so differently

5:58

than how typical may present

6:00

on the autism spectrum, and

6:03

so it wasn't even on my

6:05

radar, you know. And

6:07

so when my middle guy,

6:09

when the world shut down in twenty twenty, my

6:12

middle guy had a total crisis

6:14

and we were like, what do we do? You

6:16

know, there were no resources, the doctor's

6:18

offices were closed. Anywhere we could

6:21

go it was either virtual or with a mask

6:23

on, which really hit a lot of

6:25

the things that he was trying that we

6:27

were trying to, you know, get a doctor to see.

6:30

And so we

6:32

ended up getting him

6:34

diagnosed at Mayo Clinic. And

6:37

once I started doing the research

6:40

on that, I was like, this is

6:43

what is going on with my kids. So he was

6:45

six when he got his diagnosis,

6:48

and then my daughter got her diagnosis

6:50

at twelve. She was the second one to get it.

6:53

And then our youngest was

6:55

born in twenty nineteen, so he was just a

6:57

baby when we first heard about autos.

7:01

And I knew right away.

7:04

I'm quite certain he is on the spectrum

7:07

as well, given what we were seeing with his

7:10

century sensory issues from birth.

7:13

And then your you and your husband

7:16

get diagnosed. How did that occurs?

7:18

Wild and had you thought of it before

7:20

you saw no, okay, no,

7:22

never for yourself. You never felt like when

7:25

you hear about autism, that could be me a

7:27

little bit? I focus hypo. Never.

7:29

I I don't

7:32

think I ever thought about it for myself

7:36

realistically, because I was so hyper focused on

7:38

this being about my kids, you know, like I don't

7:40

know, I didn't. It was a

7:43

compartmentalize things in my brain when I'm

7:45

researching, and so I think I was so intensely

7:48

focused on helping them that

7:51

it didn't quite register until I

7:53

brought my daughter for her diagnosis

7:55

and I found someone that knew

7:58

autism and girls that was very importan

8:00

to me. So I found a diagnostician

8:02

who was she herself

8:05

is on the spectrum, and I

8:07

was like, this is awesome. My daughter can see someone

8:10

you know, in a great career

8:12

that is also autistic, and we can get

8:14

some really good insight. And as

8:17

she was testing

8:19

her, she starts bringing up all

8:21

these things, and in my head, I'm going,

8:25

that's not the universal human

8:27

experience, Like that

8:29

doesn't happen to neurotypical people.

8:31

Because I was answering, yes, yes.

8:34

Can you think of a question or a fan or

8:36

is it you know so lend.

8:39

Yeah, I think that like the one that I

8:41

think of the most, that is in all, like

8:43

all of the autism screeners,

8:46

is like, would you rather be at a party or

8:48

in a library? And I remember

8:50

thinking that is the dumbest question

8:53

because I need so many more other

8:55

qualifying factors to understand

8:58

how to answer that question. You know, is

9:00

it a library studying something I enjoy?

9:03

Or am I studying for a test I don't want to do?

9:06

Or am I at a party with people I like?

9:08

Or am I a.

9:09

Party with nobody? I know, you know, I

9:11

don't know which one I want. And my daughter

9:13

said the same exact thing. She's like, I don't

9:15

know how to answer that. I need more information. And

9:19

so, you know, that was

9:21

one, and then you know other

9:23

ones were you know, seeing patterns

9:26

and things which I had seen since

9:28

childhood, you know, and

9:31

really dismissed because

9:33

I just thought it was something that I enjoyed. So

9:36

it was, you know, very interesting to

9:38

sit in on her.

9:41

And think, gosh, this is me, this is

9:43

yeah. Yeah, and then your husband

9:46

as well. I mean, I think there's

9:48

a very very beautiful Amy

9:50

Schumer documentary about finding

9:52

out that her husband was on the spectrum,

9:54

and I was so

9:57

moved by it. I was so blown away

9:59

by the whole thing and adult

10:01

diagnosis of autism. How it reframes

10:04

everything that you lived before it, you

10:07

know, and it makes you uniquely

10:10

qualified to understand

10:12

your children in a way that neurotypical

10:15

people maybe wouldn't be able to.

10:17

Yeah, I always felt like I had this primal

10:21

connection to my children, like more

10:24

so than just like beyond

10:26

motherhood. Right Like, for some reason,

10:29

when I went into dealing

10:31

with my children's meltdowns, even before.

10:33

I knew what label to put on, that.

10:37

I knew, Okay, he needs this

10:39

right now, and I just thought, I'm a

10:41

deep feeler, you know, I'm a big feeler,

10:43

and so I feel their feels.

10:46

But it did reframe

10:48

everything, getting the diagnosis and realizing,

10:51

like I understand them so deeply

10:54

because they are me. I think

10:56

when I was researching autism, before I knew

10:58

I was autistic, I was so passionate

11:00

about finding autistic adults to

11:02

talk to, because that's who I wanted the information

11:05

from, not the doctor who was going to tell me fifty

11:07

five million things to do for my kids, right

11:09

I wanted to talk to somebody who

11:12

grew up autistic, and I

11:14

wanted them to tell me what helped you, what

11:17

made you feel more comfortable, and what

11:19

do you wish your parents didn't do, you know, what

11:21

was harmful?

11:22

Because I wanted to avoid those things.

11:25

And so then realizing that I

11:27

was that autistic person, was,

11:29

you know, an interesting experience for sure.

11:32

More with Kayleie after this, you're

11:56

told when your kid is autistic that there's

11:58

really nothing you can do besides a Really

12:01

there's no help, there's no you know. Oh,

12:03

you can get them evaluated

12:06

if they need meds to help their anxiety,

12:08

you know, but there really isn't any And

12:10

this is a therapeutic

12:13

choice for your family.

12:15

And at Guide Dogs

12:17

of America it is completely

12:20

free of charge. It

12:23

always has been and it always

12:25

will be. It's like the Saint Jude's

12:27

of Service and Guide Dogs for

12:30

people with disabilities in their family.

12:33

And I am in

12:35

awe of the place, as I'm sure you are

12:37

too. But how did you first come

12:40

to read and find out about this dog

12:42

experience?

12:44

Yeah?

12:44

So I had noticed that my son

12:46

when he had he has pretty intense

12:49

smeltdowns, I'll use that describer,

12:51

and I wanted so desperately

12:54

for him to have something that would calm him.

12:56

But I couldn't find the thing,

12:59

you know, And I started noticing

13:01

that when we were at my parents' house,

13:03

actually they had a dog, and

13:06

when he laid with her, he was

13:08

calmer. And I was like, oh

13:11

my gosh, there has to be something about

13:13

the connection between autistic

13:15

children and animals. Because

13:17

there's animal therapy, there's hippotherapy.

13:19

We had done echoine therapy, which is horse

13:22

therapy for a while, and

13:25

so I was.

13:25

Like, what about a dog? What about a dog? And

13:27

so I start researching, like how to train

13:30

your dog? Right, like if I got a dog

13:32

and got training for it.

13:34

And then I saw these you know,

13:36

things come up about autism service

13:38

dogs, and so I went to some

13:42

friends who in the autistic

13:44

community near live where I live, and

13:47

I asked them, do you know anybody who has

13:49

autism service dog? And

13:52

I got connected to somebody and I started talking to her

13:54

and I was like, oh my gosh, like this

13:57

is the thing I know, this is what I want

13:59

to do.

14:00

So when I.

14:00

Started researching, you

14:02

know, me be me, I couldn't

14:05

just research the ones that were close to me. I had

14:07

to research all of them in the USA, and

14:11

I kept coming back to guide Dogs of America.

14:13

Something about the way that

14:15

they do things and the people

14:18

I talked to and their connection to

14:20

the families is so unique,

14:22

even beyond other service

14:24

dog organizations.

14:26

I think that they know what

14:29

they're doing in in

14:32

such it's so natural for them.

14:35

And then I loved that they

14:38

wanted to know from us

14:41

what would be the most helpful and they

14:43

took that advice like they

14:45

didn't just ask the question to check off

14:47

a survey or to you know, complete

14:50

some metric, Like they really wanted

14:52

to know what was it about

14:54

my child that I wanted support

14:57

for and not to fix my

14:59

child to because it was

15:01

so difficult, Rosie, and I know you know

15:04

this, to find things that

15:06

weren't trying to eliminate what was unique

15:08

about my children and about myself.

15:10

I completely agree, even though

15:12

I understand that there are kids

15:15

with autism and it's so

15:17

so difficult and hard for the family,

15:20

and I'm not trying to take anything

15:22

away from anyone on the same journey

15:25

that we're on in

15:27

varying degrees. But you know,

15:30

there is no cure, or there really

15:32

is no

15:34

no need for a cure. There's a

15:37

need for acceptance, there's

15:39

a need for acceptance of people

15:41

who have a different operating system

15:44

in their brain. They don't have you know, Apple,

15:47

and they don't have Microsoft. They got something

15:49

else, and everyone

15:52

is different. You can't just get the autism

15:54

brain and think it's going to be the same,

15:56

you know. I mean, I have a kid

15:58

who goes very much inward. You

16:01

know, there haven't been many at all. Maybe

16:03

I can count on one hand in eleven years

16:06

meltdowns, sure, you know, and

16:09

that doesn't make her in any

16:11

way unique. There's all different

16:14

ways that autism

16:16

manifests and expresses itself.

16:18

Yes, And so you

16:21

decided you were going to get one, and then you started

16:23

the application process, and I got to tell people

16:26

it is it's like a college application,

16:28

you know.

16:29

I think it's more intense than a college application.

16:32

It was, you know, it was quite a It

16:35

wasn't a deterrent, right, but it.

16:37

Was more a commitment.

16:40

Yeah, it was a commitment. And I think I appreciated

16:42

that. I think all along and I

16:44

hope you feel this way too. But they

16:47

were very real about what I was

16:50

taking on, you know, like they weren't

16:52

sugarcoating what this experience was going

16:54

to be. Like we talk about how incredible

16:56

the experiences, but it is a

16:59

challenge. I think, something new you're

17:01

taking on another family member, you

17:03

are you know, learning a whole new

17:05

way of existing and working in the world.

17:08

That's not an easy task.

17:10

And so I really appreciated the

17:12

fact that the even the

17:15

application was really real about

17:17

what we were taking on and what we were

17:20

you know, to expect.

17:22

Yes, I made a joke when I got there, when

17:24

I saw Russ, I was like, you know, you took

17:26

my blood, you gave you paps me or what

17:28

else do you need for this?

17:29

You know?

17:30

But they're very thorough and they should be. You

17:32

know that many many years and

17:34

many hours and and

17:36

uh training that these dogs,

17:38

and that these people, the amount of people

17:41

that put time and effort into

17:44

these dogs. It's not a casual

17:47

thing. You don't casually get one of

17:49

these dogs. And and you know casually

17:52

uh you know included or

17:55

embrace it into You have to be all in

17:58

in order to do this and how it's

18:00

going to change your life. And what I first

18:02

asked you when we first spoke, Kayley, was

18:07

how has it changed your child?

18:09

You got this for your your middle

18:11

son, and how did you decide that that would

18:14

be the dog's primary

18:16

focus, or that your son was the one

18:18

of the three that would best respond

18:21

to this.

18:21

Yeah, so I think he was the one

18:24

that struggled to get

18:26

out in the community the most. I saw

18:28

this tendency in him to

18:30

self isolate, and he's

18:33

so incredible, Like, I

18:35

just don't want to miss the opportunity

18:38

to talk about how incredible my children

18:40

are, Like I am in awe of them every day,

18:42

And so I hated

18:45

the thought of him not getting

18:47

to experience the things he wanted to experience

18:50

because of this fear.

18:51

You know.

18:52

And so I

18:54

was like, if I have to choose one, I

18:56

think he's the one that would need

18:59

the support to get out so that all

19:01

of us that is a family could have the experiences

19:04

we want to have right collectively

19:06

as a family. And the

19:09

amazing thing though, is that

19:12

since then, in talking

19:14

with the trainers and working on everything,

19:17

Hadley, our dog, now

19:19

works for all three of my kids. So

19:22

she has taken

19:24

on the role of autism service

19:26

dog and then just got

19:30

above and beyond, Like she came home and

19:32

bonded with my middle

19:34

son so well, and then she

19:37

just was.

19:38

Like, oh, this one also needs me. Cool,

19:40

I know what to do and she did.

19:42

She did. She just innately knows them.

19:45

They do.

19:45

They come home and they're like, this is what I've been

19:47

training for, Like I know what to do,

19:49

and I'm so good at this exactly

19:52

they are.

19:53

How long have you had your dog?

19:56

Hadley's been home with us? It'll be a year in

19:58

March.

19:59

And if you can would say, like

20:01

what what what would you say? The difference

20:03

before the dog and the difference now

20:05

almost a year out.

20:08

I mean night and day. Really, it

20:11

makes me super emotional because we

20:15

weren't going anywhere, like, we weren't doing

20:17

anything.

20:18

I'm here that we have the same problem here.

20:21

We were so isolated.

20:23

Yes, I understand, and I don't think I realized

20:26

how lonely I felt and how.

20:31

How isolated I felt.

20:32

You know, I think COVID gave

20:35

everyone a little taste of what

20:37

it's like to feel isolated,

20:39

and so everyone has a connection

20:42

to that feeling, and it's just not natural

20:44

as human beings, autism or not. We

20:47

don't do life alone. And

20:50

so when I started

20:52

to feel like the

20:56

struggles were preventing us from

20:59

from having a commune and from

21:01

feeling like we could do the things that my

21:04

children wanted to do and accomplish.

21:06

Then you know, that's when we started being like,

21:08

Okay, we got to fix this or we got to do something

21:10

about this. And so when she

21:12

came home, I was just hoping,

21:15

like maybe he can go to swimming

21:18

lessons or like maybe we

21:20

could go back to school in person, like

21:23

really small dreams, you know,

21:25

like the when

21:27

you think about it.

21:30

Was getting to go go out to dinner, which we

21:32

haven't diet, but we're braiding up right,

21:35

but like.

21:35

To a typical family, Rosie, like

21:37

that would be such a small thing, like we did that last

21:39

tuesday.

21:40

Who cares to us? That

21:42

is a huge.

21:43

Hurdle, right, Like, that is a big deal

21:45

for our kids, and we don't want to do

21:47

it to their detriment. We want to do it

21:49

and have them enjoy it and have them be able

21:52

to you know, access it.

21:53

And so and now to feel safe. You

21:56

know that they feel safe enough and that

21:58

the fear can be a baited enough

22:01

that they can enjoy

22:03

eating you know, pasta with butter, but

22:05

still in a restaurant, getting

22:08

a dessert or that they like. And you

22:10

know, I mean it's a big, big

22:12

deal. And if you go years without

22:14

doing that, you know

22:17

what does that do to the development of

22:19

a child's social like you

22:22

you know.

22:23

Yeah, And I think there's this big

22:25

misconception about autistic

22:27

individuals that we are not social,

22:30

or that we don't have a desire

22:33

to have relationships

22:35

or to be with people, or that we're completely fine

22:37

being alone. And like, I think that

22:39

came out of the fact that, yes, we do need

22:41

to isolate sometimes to

22:44

recover and recoup and to kind

22:46

of recharge for the next experience.

22:50

But I greatly want to be social.

22:52

My children greatly want to be social. They

22:54

want relationships, they

22:56

want interactions with other people.

22:59

It is absolutely not true

23:01

that they are incapable of love

23:03

or human emotions or this multrum

23:06

of human experiences. They

23:08

are human beings that deserve

23:11

to have every experience that they want to have,

23:13

just like anyone who is neurotypical does. So

23:17

to go back to your question of how life has changed,

23:20

Hadley has he's.

23:23

My middle guy.

23:24

Is leaving the house on a regular basis, We are

23:26

going out in the community. But the

23:29

best part is we

23:33

have been able to get through life

23:36

with such joy

23:39

along the way. And I

23:42

don't know that we were fully experiencing

23:44

joy for a while there. You know, we were really

23:46

struggling, and so we

23:48

had a lot of life.

23:49

I think because people don't understand

23:52

how it incrementally decreases,

23:55

like all of a sudden, you're like, oh, it's another

23:57

weekend and I'm by myself

24:00

and they're in their zone.

24:02

And you know, you go into that zone as often

24:04

as they'll let you, you know. But

24:07

but the choice of isolation

24:10

is always their choice, and

24:12

for my kiddo, you know, because

24:15

it's.

24:15

Safe, and they're going to choose safety

24:18

over doing something that is

24:20

going to literally light their their sensory

24:24

sloop on.

24:24

Fire right right exactly.

24:26

So if they don't feel like they can

24:28

recharge and support themselves enough,

24:31

then they're not going to choose to do the thing that's

24:34

really hard. And I think that's

24:36

what the service dog does is provide,

24:38

like one,

24:40

the reassurance that

24:43

this the tool that I need is

24:45

right next to me at all times,

24:48

and they're watching me to

24:50

help me know when I need that tool, right,

24:52

because sometimes the hard part

24:55

is knowing like Okay, I know that I

24:57

can ask for help or use a fidget or

25:00

for deep pressure, whatever the thing is,

25:03

but maybe they can't be verbal

25:05

in that moment to say that I need that thing,

25:07

or maybe they're not even.

25:09

Able to recognize in

25:12

their body that it's coming.

25:14

And so the dogs become

25:17

so in tune, like

25:20

I know right now, you just brought Kuma home, so you're

25:22

cueing her a lot cues, the word you know,

25:24

we use for giving the dog a command

25:27

to do the thing that we our

25:30

child needs, you know, whether that

25:32

be deep pressure or you

25:34

know, some getting close

25:36

so that they can be touched or whatever.

25:39

It is a nudge to disrupt

25:41

maybe some stemming behavior

25:44

or behavior that you know, maybe is hurtful

25:46

to themselves, you know.

25:47

Right right.

25:49

But now a year in, I'm

25:52

cuing her less and less. She's just naturally

25:54

doing it like she knows,

25:57

oh mom, And she'll look at me like you're

26:00

not going to cue me right now, like fine, I'll do it myself,

26:02

but I better get a kibble for it, you know.

26:06

So she is so incredibly

26:09

intelligent.

26:10

And I saw that from the moment that we brought

26:12

her home that this

26:15

connection was going to be so intense because

26:18

I hadn't gotten my diagnosis yet when I brought

26:20

her home and she

26:24

I was flying and I'm a nervous fire, never

26:26

been good at it. And she

26:28

was at my feet and the

26:33

landing was happening. There was a little bit of turbulence,

26:35

and I could feel my heart rate picking up, like, oh

26:37

man, I hate this part, you know. And she

26:39

jumped up and got on my lap. And they're not supposed

26:42

to get out of the que that you put

26:44

them in. And I was like, what are you doing, Like we

26:46

are landing, there are people around me. Get back down,

26:48

and so I accuted her to go back down, and she got back down,

26:50

but I.

26:51

Could tell she didn't want What

26:53

are you doing? You know? And

26:55

so as we land it was a bumpy

26:57

landing.

26:58

And as the first time hit, she popped

27:01

back up and she stayed on my lap and I could tell I

27:03

could not get her down.

27:04

Yeah, but she knew, like

27:06

she knew what I needed. And we had only

27:08

been together for ten days.

27:10

Wait right, you know, and that's

27:12

had a thing that makes me cry three

27:14

times a day. Yeah, because I see

27:17

that the dog is sensing

27:22

what my child is doing and

27:25

trying to figure out how to best

27:28

deal with it. Right, So it was

27:30

interesting that, you know, we stayed

27:32

home today because we had a COVID exposure,

27:34

So we stayed home from school today.

27:36

And it's the first day

27:39

that she just really

27:41

gets to hang out. And she was

27:43

on the couch and we put the blankets

27:46

on the couch so that she can cuddle

27:48

with her, because that's what we want, that connection. And

27:52

the dog jumps up and puts

27:55

herself like in the way of

27:57

Dakota's iPad right

28:00

and does a lap and I

28:02

call her down, and Dakota said, no,

28:04

no, I liked it, you know.

28:07

Yeah, So I was like, Wow, the dog

28:09

knew, you know. I thought, Oh, it's going to

28:11

interrupt what she's doing and it's going to annoy her.

28:13

No, no, I liked it. I liked it. So

28:16

I queued back, and of course Kumba

28:18

went and did the whole thing war

28:20

with Kaylee after this. It's

28:44

pretty much like a huge

28:46

event in your life, you know, when

28:48

you were going to the ten days and

28:50

you realized, but you did all the research

28:52

that you had to go live there in

28:54

Silmar for ten days in a dorm.

28:57

You have two other autistic children

29:00

and maybe not known yet but autistic

29:02

husband. And I

29:05

don't assume you had ever done that before,

29:07

taken ten days off to go do something

29:09

by yourself.

29:11

No, no, I had never left them for that

29:13

long, and honestly, that was

29:15

the one piece that I was like, I don't know if we.

29:17

Can do this.

29:18

That's what I thought too.

29:19

I rallied our community and

29:22

made it happen piece together with the childcare

29:25

that I needed to make

29:27

it happen, and it

29:29

was the best time investment I've

29:31

ever made, because you

29:33

truly do need the ten days to

29:39

fully immerse yourself in the experience,

29:42

and they are so intentional

29:44

with the way that they do the training. They

29:47

know their stuff, and so I feel like once

29:49

I got to know the trainers, I was like, Okay, I trust

29:52

that they are having me there for ten days

29:54

for a reason, and you absolutely

29:56

use every minute of those ten days

30:00

to learn what you need

30:02

to learn and allow the dog

30:04

and handler bond to begin and

30:08

solidify enough that you feel comfortable

30:10

to go home and continue that journey. So

30:14

it looking back

30:16

now, I can tell you that

30:19

that was the best foundation

30:22

to what I needed to know to make sure that

30:24

that bond happened for my children, and

30:26

it absolutely has.

30:27

That's exactly what I felt. I was like, I

30:29

don't think I can do this ten days

30:31

away, and then the day I was driving

30:34

there, I was like, maybe I should just cancel.

30:36

And you know, I had all these things in

30:38

my head and I

30:41

went there and I found it to be exceeded

30:44

my expectations in any way possible.

30:46

I didn't know dogs could

30:48

do this. I didn't understand you're getting

30:51

a real dog that is

30:53

going to have real dog playtime

30:55

stuff in your house while also

30:57

working sometimes in the house without the

31:00

vest, right because you're sitting watching

31:02

TV. And I can cue her without

31:04

a leash and tell her what to do

31:06

and she will go and do it. A

31:08

lot of people have asked me, and I've said it so

31:11

many times, but maybe you can explain why

31:13

a little better than I have been able to. Everyone's

31:15

going is the dolla going to go to school with

31:17

Clay? And I'm like, that's an impossible

31:20

thing to do because I am the handler.

31:22

So maybe you can explain that.

31:24

Yeah, So you know, autism

31:27

service dogs are a unique experience

31:30

because it's a three man team, right. You have

31:32

the handler, the

31:34

service dog, and then the child who is the recipient

31:37

is the term we use, but basically

31:40

the child that benefits from the dog.

31:42

And so.

31:45

If we were to separate the

31:47

dog from the handler, which is the person they know

31:50

holds the treats, but also is

31:52

the one who has been cuing them and knows them

31:55

and knows what to expect from them. Then

31:57

we're asking a child who is in a

32:00

time of need, a time of

32:02

discomfort, to then recall

32:05

cues and recall.

32:06

What they need to do to cue the dog for what they

32:08

need.

32:09

It's just it's an impossible

32:12

and very very difficult thing

32:14

to put on top of a situation that's

32:16

already very hard for them. So to

32:19

ask an autistic individual

32:22

in the middle of a meltdown or even

32:25

on their way to a meltdown, it doesn't even have to

32:27

get to that peak of a meltdown, but in a

32:29

time of discomfort, to ask

32:31

them then to do something

32:33

else would not be fair.

32:35

In that moment.

32:36

Right, it's too much

32:39

and so too much, And that the handler

32:41

is the grown up. The handler is the

32:43

grown up, and the child is sort of the

32:45

charge or the recipient of the

32:48

dog of the dog's training.

32:50

Right, It's not that for

32:52

me that I'm getting the dog too, although

32:54

I do get the dog to sit on my lap, so how am I

32:57

getting? But it is for me too, Like

32:59

that's another thing I realized, Like you

33:02

know how emotionally defended. I

33:04

was because this kind of broke

33:06

down all those walls, you know, I

33:08

found like once I started crying, and it

33:11

was hard not to cry there because

33:14

did you happen to have visually impaired students

33:17

as well at the school the time you

33:19

were there.

33:20

No, we had.

33:22

Several facility dogs and several

33:25

veteran or mobility dogs, but

33:27

we didn't have any visually

33:29

impaired teams.

33:31

Yeah, because we had six visually impaired

33:34

people, and then we had six service

33:37

dog people, two with veterans

33:39

with mobility, and two facility

33:41

dogs and then two autism dogs, which

33:44

was a wonderful kind of balance,

33:46

you know. But to see

33:49

the blind people

33:53

making their way learning

33:55

what they need to learn without the ability

33:58

to see and a

34:01

walking stick, and they

34:04

get through their life, and it

34:07

was a beautiful thing. Like, you know, I

34:09

have never been around that many visually

34:12

impaired people in my life at one time.

34:15

And they had been together for two weeks before

34:17

we showed up for our ten days, and they were

34:19

rip roaringly funny and playing

34:22

Uno and screaming all night and keeping

34:24

us awake. And they were the funniest,

34:27

most heartwarmingly inspiring

34:30

group of people to have next to you when you

34:32

know you always you always

34:35

think that you know life

34:38

is greener somewhere else, but your

34:40

own life is what you have to deal

34:42

with. And to see people do it with

34:45

grace, to see those veterans who

34:47

have mobility issue walking the

34:49

five miles a day that we walk sometime

34:51

in the mall and at the beach, and to

34:53

try to get these these dogs

34:55

ready for their permanent home. I

34:59

was moved by the dedication

35:01

of the trainers and the

35:03

puppy raisers. And it's like magical

35:06

when you see them do it. It feels like magic.

35:08

You know it is.

35:09

It is, And those puppy raisers

35:12

are such an important part of that journey

35:15

because they are there the puppies first

35:17

experience with a family or with

35:19

kids, or with going out in the community

35:21

or just learning to be you

35:24

know, around the house hanging out

35:26

like you said.

35:26

And so.

35:28

They are so so so important and

35:32

such a vital part of

35:34

the program for them.

35:35

And there's a big need in Silmour in southern

35:37

California. If you're in southern California

35:40

and you feel as though you have the heart

35:42

to raise a puppy, usually a lab

35:44

or a lab golden mix from

35:48

ten weeks to sixteen months, and

35:50

then you give the puppy back to Guide

35:52

Dogs of America and they choose

35:54

what track the dog goes on to

35:56

be a service dog

35:59

for AUTUS, for vets

36:01

with mobility or PTSD, or

36:04

for visually impaired people. Those are the

36:06

three groups that they help

36:08

at Guide Dogs Offamerica dot

36:10

org. You have been so

36:13

helpful to me and I know to Laura, and

36:16

I think you're a wonderful speaker. I think

36:18

you should write a book without a doubt about

36:21

you know, your life with autism

36:23

and with three autistic kids. You're like,

36:25

you know, as Laura looked over

36:28

to me when you were speaking one time, she says,

36:30

autistic mom goals. I'm like, totally

36:32

right, autistic mom goals,

36:35

Right.

36:36

I love that. I love that. Well, thank

36:38

you, I appreciate it.

36:39

I think you know, on

36:41

this journey, we talk about how lonely it

36:43

can be, and so I know

36:45

that I learned the most from people who are

36:47

a little bit ahead of me in that journey, and we're willing

36:49

to turn back and offer their hand and say,

36:51

yeah, I know the way.

36:52

Let's go. Let's do this thing.

36:54

You know, exactly.

36:55

It's such a rewarding part of

36:57

this journey to be able to help someone else

36:59

along the way.

37:00

Well, I hope to be to someone what you were

37:02

to me. And oh, Kayleie, thank

37:04

you so much.

37:05

You are so welcome.

37:07

And remember for.

37:07

More information Guide Dogs of America,

37:10

Guide Doogs of America dot org. Tell

37:12

them Rosie and Kaylee sent you. We'll be

37:14

back right after this. I'm going. And

37:29

by the way, everybody, Kaylee volunteers

37:31

as an autism handler coach. That's,

37:34

you know, really what she did for me. And

37:36

it's amazing how everyone involved at that

37:39

organization is just fantastic.

37:41

Check them out Guiddogs

37:43

of America dot org. All

37:45

right, hope you enjoyed that. We got some questions

37:48

and comments for today. Number one

37:50

is somebody named Garth.

37:51

Hit it Garth Hi, Rosies

37:54

garethea. I'm calling from the

37:56

city of Wrexham in the United

37:58

Kingdom. It's where

38:00

Ryan Reynolds had just purchased the

38:03

football stadium, so

38:05

he's here quite a lot at the moment. I

38:10

obviously didn't really see your shows

38:12

because I'm in the UK, so I don't think we received

38:14

your shows in the nineties and noughties,

38:17

but I remember you from the film

38:20

A League of their Own, and I

38:22

found clips of you on YouTube on

38:25

the view, which also we don't get, and

38:29

so I became a fan really from

38:31

that across the pond.

38:36

My question is to do with your love of Barbara

38:38

streisand and streisand

38:41

I should say it correctly because

38:45

I have that same kind of love for Shanaia

38:47

Twain. And the reason why is because

38:50

my mother, who has

38:52

now passed away about twelve years ago,

38:55

was a big fan of his. But she didn't leave the house

38:57

very much. I think she was depressed. And

39:00

twenty years ago, Shania Twain did a

39:02

tour called Up Tour, and

39:05

I managed to get her to the concert because

39:08

I said, you really love Shanaia and I'd

39:11

really love to take you, and took a

39:13

bit of persuasion, but I did get her there and

39:15

she managed to shake Shania Twain's hand. She went

39:18

to the stage. I don't know how she got so bold, but she

39:20

went to the stage and she shook her hand and

39:22

she was over the moon. So it was

39:24

a memory that I'm so grateful

39:26

for that I managed to get her to this concert.

39:29

So fast forward twenty years so last year,

39:32

Shania Twain was doing a concert

39:34

in the United Kingdom in September

39:37

and I went along with some friends and

39:39

I got to shake Shanaiawain's hand. She managed

39:42

to just come past me, and

39:46

I was quite moved by the moment because

39:48

it felt like I was shaking hands with my mother,

39:51

even though Shanaia has no idea who I

39:53

am or my story or anything

39:55

like that, but she

39:58

just I'll send you the clippers. Well, because

40:01

my friend was filmingu ites, I'll send that via

40:03

email if I can. So,

40:06

yeah, my questions to do with that and your love of Barbara

40:09

streisand so can

40:11

you just tell me a little bit of can

40:13

you see some similarities with my love

40:15

of Shneia and your love of Barbara?

40:19

Take care? Thank you for listening, Hi, Garth.

40:22

I love your voice. I could listen

40:24

to you all day. I love your

40:27

accent, I love the lilt of your voice.

40:29

I just think it's You're

40:31

delightful. And yes, that is exactly

40:34

how my love of Barbara started. By

40:37

my mother's love of Barbara. And

40:40

I could always tell if my mom was in a

40:42

good mood, if she was playing streisand

40:45

you know, and if she was in a

40:47

bad mood. It was the sound

40:49

of silence, Hello darkness, my

40:51

old friend. You know, I

40:54

understand completely when when Barbara streisand

40:57

walked through those doors and I hadn't seen her

41:00

yet at that day at the show, it

41:03

totally felt like my mom

41:05

was walking through those doors the curtains,

41:07

and you know, it was very,

41:10

very emotional. In fact, it's

41:12

hard for me to watch

41:15

the clip because it's

41:17

so much bigger and

41:19

the feeling is like goes so deep.

41:22

And I think she's one

41:25

of a kind. And it has

41:27

been the greatest joy to

41:30

get to be in her orbit. And

41:33

I'm in the middle of the book. I'm loving it.

41:36

I waited till I had some real time

41:39

off to myself, and I

41:41

can't wait to talk about it with our

41:43

guest next week, which

41:46

is Linda Richmond. Linda

41:48

Richmond, you all know coffee Talk from

41:50

Saturday Night Live with Mike

41:52

Mayas he would do Linda.

41:56

It's Linda that he was doing, and

41:58

so she and I are the original

42:01

Barber streisand lovers, and we will

42:03

be discussing Barbara and many other things.

42:05

But thank you, Garth, thank you so

42:07

much. We have one more

42:12

question comment from Luri hit it.

42:14

Hi, Rosie, my name is Lori. I'm

42:16

calling from northern California. Huge

42:19

fan of your podcasts. The

42:22

other day I was listening to SmartLess

42:25

and Mark Ruffalo was on there and he was

42:27

talking about some mini

42:29

series he did called I Know This Much is

42:32

True, and I was like, what Wally

42:34

Lamb? Could that be the same story?

42:38

So I start I found it and I started

42:40

watching it. I finished watching it all

42:42

in one day. I gotta say,

42:45

Rosie O'donald's in it. Are you kidding

42:47

me? You were outstanding

42:49

in that role. Oh my god,

42:52

I'm so proud of you. We share

42:54

the same birthday, which is neither here nor there,

42:57

but you where's the Emmy?

42:59

Where's the Emmy that Rosie o'donald? Anyway,

43:02

good luck with a new puppy. I

43:04

hope you're great. Thanks

43:06

for listening. Sorry for the ramble.

43:09

It's the wine hour, you know. Anyway,

43:11

Thank you.

43:12

I

43:15

thank you, Laurie, Thank you so much. That's

43:18

so, you know. It is definitely

43:22

the best experience I had acting

43:24

on a movie was the set with

43:27

Mark Ruffalo and Derek

43:30

cian Franz, who is the director who

43:32

is extraordinary and google

43:35

his movies and listen

43:37

to the scores,

43:39

and he's a genius

43:42

I think, and so is Mark Ruffalo. So to

43:44

get to be working with the

43:46

two of them was just the greatest

43:48

thrill of my career, truthfully, really

43:51

was. And I thank you for all the nice comments.

43:53

And Mark did win the Emmy for

43:55

that, and I was very proud of him. I

43:57

didn't get nominated, but that's okay. You know, there

44:00

were a lot of great performances and you

44:02

can't ever really compare art. It's

44:05

nice when you get noticed, but it's nice when

44:07

people just come up to you and say,

44:09

hey, I think you did well in that,

44:11

you know, like you just did, Lurie, So thank

44:13

you for that. Thank you very much.

44:15

And happy almost birthday to us, either

44:18

you the same year as me or just March twenty

44:21

one, because are you going to turn sixty

44:23

two and you were born in sixty two,

44:25

because that's pretty wild. I

44:28

think it means it's the golden birthday,

44:30

which means what people have to give

44:33

you gold. I don't really know. I'll

44:35

have to google that before next week. All

44:37

right, Laurie, thank you, thank

44:39

you all for listening

44:42

to hear this whole podcast

44:44

thing we do. We got

44:46

Linda Richmond next week. Really,

44:49

no one like it. Really, Barber

44:52

Streis that she's like butter.

44:54

You know.

44:55

That's Linda Richmond and I

44:58

talk to her every day, and he's she's

45:02

my mom here in a Los Angeles

45:04

and in my heart. So Linda

45:06

Richmond next week, see you. Then people

45:08

peace out,