Like Cnut commanding the tides to recede, Sting brings his band to his new manor house and says "I command thee to make hits!" — only when Sting does it, it actually works. Therefore, Sting > Cnut. Songs discussed include "If I Ever Lose My Fai

9: The Oedipus Cages

May 20th, 2019 49m 2s

The elder Mr. Sumner was kind enough to die, thus breaking Sting’s writer’s block (or did it?), and the daddy-issues tunes came flowing out like so many single tears across a stoic, chiseled face. It’s peak #jazzdadsships. Songs discussed inclu

8: ...Nothing Like the Police

May 13th, 2019 53m 52s

As the length of Sting's hair peaks, so does his career as a solo artist, and the people of central America are forever grateful to him for mining their trauma like so much Aztec gold. Songs discussed include "The Lazarus Heart," "Fragile," The

7: The Dream of the Green Revenues

May 6th, 2019 1h 24m

Sting goes looking for more people to exploit for authenticity and comes up with a crew of American jazz session players whose brilliance he does not deserve. Songs discussed include "Fortress Around Your Heart," "Russians," "If You Love Somebo

6: SynchroNOcity

Apr 29th, 2019 58m 39s

Like a lover who wants to show their soon-to-be-ex what they'll be missing, Sting turns in his finest creative performances to date before promptly giving Stewart and Andy the ol' Irish goodbye. Using our crack forensic team of Claire and Bruce

5: Ghost in the Drum Machine

Apr 22nd, 2019 48m 42s

Donning the shortest men's running shorts that scientists of the time could produce, Sting and the boys headed to the sunny island of Montserrat to produce a feel-good summertime album about . . . Descartes, or something? Shortly thereafter, Mo

4: Zenyatta Da AT-ATs R ATTACKING!!

Apr 15th, 2019 54m 49s

For "Zenyatta Mondatta," Sting and boys head into the studio with a killer sound and yet, sadly, almost no actual songs to record. In our studio, we have a slight hiccup with Meg's mic, but if we were to re-record the ep, what's the chance we'd

3: Appropriation de Blanc

Apr 8th, 2019 1h 5m

Meg nods politely while Adam goes full-on music dork explaining why "Regatta de Blanc" is peak Police. He even dusts off the ol' guitar next to the fireplace for analysis of the "Message in a Bottle" riff. Meg continues to nod politely. Songs d

2: Metal Speedos d'Amour

Mar 13th, 2019 50m 10s

The Police's TOTALLY AUTHENTIC™ punk rock debut album "Outlandos d'Amour" hits big, and Sting finally makes it into the Queen Mother's limo with a little help from his buddies Stewart and Ol' Granny Andy. Songs discussed include "Roxanne," "Can

1: Local Geordie Gordy Makes Good

Mar 13th, 2019 44m 13s

We recount the epic tale of Gordon Sumner's birth to a shipwright (or was he a milkman?) in Ye Olde Kingdom of Northumbria, Anno Domini 1951 (and, possibly, how he was murdered by MI6 so that Sting could adopt Gordy's hardscrabble backstory to

Rate