0:00

The podcast in front of you

0:02

rattles unsettlingly. Something skitters inside. The

0:04

label shifts into view. Warning. Adult

0:07

content. Pseudopod,

0:12

episode 896 for December 8th, 2023. Duen

0:18

by Susan Palumbo. Narrated

0:20

by Mercedes Modeste. Hosted

0:22

by Amanda Weiss. Audio by

0:25

Chelsea Davis. Hey

0:27

everyone, welcome to a new episode of Pseudopod. My

0:30

name is Amanda Weiss and I am Associate

0:32

Professor of Japanese at Georgia Tech and editor

0:34

of Hivemind Magazine. I'm also very happy

0:36

to be your host this week. Our

0:38

story is Duen by Susan Palumbo. This

0:41

story was originally published in The Dark Magazine

0:43

and reprinted in the 2023 collection, Skin Thief.

0:48

Susan Palumbo is a Trinidadian,

0:50

Canadian, speculative fiction writer and

0:52

editor. Her short fiction has

0:55

been nominated for the Nebula, Aurora, and

0:57

World Fantasy Awards. She also

0:59

co-founded the Ignite Awards with L.D. Lewis

1:01

and edited the Strange Horizons Caribbean issue

1:03

with Marika Bailey. Her

1:06

dark fantasy horror collection, Skin Thief

1:08

Stories, was published by Neon Hemlock

1:10

in 2023. Her

1:12

novella, Countess, will be published by ECW

1:15

Press in 2024. Her

1:18

work has been featured in The

1:20

Dark Magazine, Lightspeed, Nightmare, and Pseudopod.

1:23

When she isn't writing, she can be

1:25

found listening to New Wave, sketching, or

1:27

wandering in her local misty forest. Find

1:30

her on Instagram at Gothic Syntax

1:33

and on her website at susanpalumbo.wordpress.com.

1:37

She is officially represented by Michael Curry

1:40

of the Donald Mass Literary Agency. Mercedes

1:44

Modeste is not the well-known

1:46

Benz. However, she is driven

1:48

by creativity. This young

1:50

woman from the beautiful Caribbean is a

1:53

finance student by day, storyteller and poet

1:56

by night. She adores art,

1:58

dance, music, volunteering. and

2:00

baking. With the

2:02

belief that any art form is the

2:04

best medicine, she enjoys utilizing her talents

2:07

to inspire and share with others. And

2:10

now we have a story for you and we promise

2:12

you it's true. Sweens

2:19

by Suzanne Paloumi. Nerese

2:22

by Mercedes-M She

2:32

was crying so hard. She was

2:34

shiggin' like when grandma died and

2:36

fancy. Mama's aunt had to

2:39

hold mama up tight tight to

2:41

keep mama from falling down. At

2:44

grandma's funeral, fantasy, juru

2:47

shalini, you have to hold

2:49

up yourself. You have your dosa

2:52

salmanza to bring up. You

2:54

must be strong, but she... Mama,

2:57

while she owned his and stopped

2:59

crying then, but she

3:02

smiled with spoil. I

3:05

tried to come to this school and eat

3:07

all the rice and provision I hate when

3:09

she cooked them for dinner. But

3:11

mama see she heart was

3:14

broken. But true,

3:16

she eyes didn't shine full happy like

3:18

they did before. This

3:21

time in the cemetery, fancy

3:23

didn't see anything because

3:26

even she was bawling like

3:28

a howl. With everybody else,

3:31

mama was the loudest. She

3:34

voice was like a cut lash chopping

3:37

straight through the noise. Daddy

3:39

stand up stiff next to she

3:42

and was silent like a

3:44

story. I know

3:46

why nobody tell mama to hold up sheselv

3:48

this time. It was

3:50

because it was me, dead

3:53

in the casket, in the bottom

3:55

of the hole. It was my

3:57

funeral, except... I

4:00

wasn't in the box. I

4:02

was standing behind one of the concrete

4:05

headstool watching Mama and all my

4:07

aunties and uncles bowl. I

4:10

cried too, because I didn't

4:12

remember how I get there and I didn't want to be

4:15

there. I

4:17

remember I was playing in the yard. I

4:19

run to get my bowl and then bam,

4:22

something hit me. Pain,

4:25

pain so sharp in my chest like

4:27

a knife when I breathe in. Mama

4:30

was freemen, but she voiced them get

4:33

farther and farther away. Come

4:36

back, Mama, I thought.

4:39

Where you going? Then everything

4:41

gone black and I wake up

4:44

in this dead people place. I

4:46

received no more pain. No

4:49

freemen. I put my hand

4:51

on my chest to check what happened. I

4:54

wasn't wearing the pink furled dress that I'd

4:56

been there for months as a baby. I

5:00

was naked from a belly up, wearing

5:03

a long grass suit and

5:05

a hat shaped like a cone. I

5:08

tried to pull the hat off,

5:11

but it was soft on my

5:13

head. My

5:15

whole body was wrong. From

5:17

my ankles, my feet was twisted with

5:20

my toes pointing behind. I

5:23

sat on the grass and tried to swim

5:25

right foot around to see the correct way,

5:28

but it wouldn't go straight.

5:33

When I woke around the grooves, my

5:36

heels went in front of me, but

5:38

my feet looked backwards. When

5:43

my cousin, Shivani,

5:45

and David, and them used

5:48

to see dead children's birds,

5:50

twins have backwards foot. When

5:52

I asked Mama if what either tell me

5:55

was true, she said, I

5:57

can't tell you that child. I

6:00

wanted to show my mom the seat when

6:02

I see she in front of the grave

6:04

until she dwells was real and I was

6:06

frightened. But

6:09

no one could see me and it had

6:11

too many people around my momma's seat and

6:13

she was going to be alright. Everything

6:16

happened for a reason. Am

6:19

I alright? I asked. My

6:22

voice came out as a whistle and I

6:24

couldn't stretch my mouth open. My

6:27

backwards feet pull and I run to

6:29

daddy's kindly parking lot and watch my

6:31

face in the tinted window. A

6:34

sharp pain hit my chest again

6:37

because when I look at my face, my

6:40

mouth was a tiny hole the size of a

6:42

black tamarind seed and I

6:44

had no nose nor eyes. My

6:47

face was smooth like amnago skin. How

6:50

could I see with no eyes? I

6:52

had a jummy face. I screamed.

6:54

I screamed but it came out

6:57

as an angry whistle

6:59

on the wind. I'm

7:02

sorry, Sam. It was

7:04

an accident. Uncle

7:06

Ram was seen by my grave. He

7:09

choked up crying and going back to sitting

7:11

in Havana alone after. Everybody

7:14

else was watching me, Ram. Nobody

7:17

spoke for a long time. And

7:20

then daddy who all mama by her

7:22

shoulders turned around and walks

7:24

you to the car. I

7:28

didn't know if I could follow them. Didn't

7:31

call my succumb. Didn't even

7:34

look back for my son in the cemetery

7:36

beside him. I

7:38

was frozen where I was

7:40

while I watched every car

7:43

and van drive away. That

7:46

was quiet except for

7:49

the sound of the shush, shush

7:52

of the waves from the sea

7:54

nearby. I like

7:56

when we whole farm used to go to the

7:58

beach. We used to play. crickets

8:00

and eat hot fried rice.

8:03

Now the sound of the sea fill up

8:05

my ears and head like it was inside

8:07

of my skull. I didn't

8:09

dare go near it. I

8:11

didn't trust my backwards feet not to run

8:14

on the ool. What if

8:16

they walked me into the ocean and

8:18

kept walking until I was covered? Later,

8:22

two men drive up in a noisy

8:24

baku, so loud and strong

8:27

now the ocean is fine. They

8:30

start to fill up the hole I was supposed

8:32

to be in with my casket. All

8:34

that did would have been dumped

8:36

on me. I

8:39

would have never climbed on the rocks. They

8:42

were almost finished cleaning up the hole but

8:44

I didn't want them to leave. So

8:47

when did the noisy baku engine and

8:50

get through shovel to smooth over the days on

8:52

the grave? I went and

8:54

stand behind the man who looked younger

8:56

and didn't have a game. Excuse

9:01

me mister. I whistle.

9:04

He shake up at my voice

9:06

like a cold breeze touchy. Hey

9:08

boy! He

9:11

trust himself and say to the next man, shall

9:14

we hurry up and don't eat? I

9:17

don't like to stay by child's reach. Where

9:20

you think? Jigga, I want one dear.

9:23

The older man laugh. You

9:25

think I joking? The young

9:28

man suck his teeth. You

9:30

go see. Okay, okay. I

9:33

want to don't do the

9:35

older man say. He went

9:37

back in the baku with his shovel and

9:39

turn on the engine. Rest

9:42

child. The young man whispered

9:44

to my grave with his eyes closed.

9:48

Then he went in the machine next to the

9:50

old man and they drive

9:52

away like mama and daddy. I

9:55

sit back on the grave and cry. I

9:58

cry so loud the whole time. the truth

10:00

to love with a ringing whistle. People

10:03

who were visiting or degrees covered the

10:05

ears and run back to the guards.

10:08

I was sure mama would hear me back

10:10

home in the house and she would come

10:12

and get me and hug me

10:14

up and give my fruits

10:17

and sour prunes like she did when

10:19

she used to collect my from food.

10:22

Mama never ever used to let

10:24

me pray. She didn't

10:26

come back. Then it

10:29

started to get dark. I

10:31

watched this swallow of the sun, the

10:34

air change, it touched my skin

10:36

like a bunch of cool hands and

10:38

fingers all over my chest. I

10:41

wanted my white and pink then and a

10:43

couple nooks. I

10:45

wanted to be inside. It's

10:50

when was real. Then

10:52

the sukmya and lukars

10:55

and zombies that come out at night

10:57

of pixie and take a full watch

10:59

through too. I didn't

11:01

want them in that kind of zombie. I

11:04

stay a week and watch them

11:06

make sure none of them come from

11:08

me. In

11:10

the middle of the night, a lady

11:12

tribe of 30th century, she

11:15

had long straight hair

11:18

and was wearing a black dress that

11:21

reached her foot and a

11:23

black feel that covered she face.

11:26

Fancy did explain after grandma funeral

11:28

that if you go to the

11:31

cemetery at night, your

11:33

mouth will through the front door

11:35

of your own house backwards. When

11:38

you go back home or the ghosts

11:40

and them go for the inside. This

11:43

lady didn't look like she was scared of

11:45

ghosts at night or when she inside she

11:47

else. When I

11:50

get closer, she

11:52

smells like the sandal wooden

11:54

sand from where you stylized when she

11:56

says she prays. I

12:00

creep up quiet, you findy lady. I

12:03

could kill them for left

12:05

you dead, she was

12:07

spot. I

12:10

did tell them doctor, I

12:13

did tell them, it wasn't

12:16

well. And they insist,

12:19

and insist I was crazy.

12:22

I was what they say, overprotective.

12:27

The lady's voice that she

12:30

ate like mama's atmoscenerals, but

12:32

softer. I'd be sound

12:34

of slippers on the wood floor,

12:37

but I knew someone

12:40

gave you a bad eye.

12:43

Them kusia, that's

12:45

why I get sick. The

12:47

lady wipes, she sees. Come

12:50

back, and see my Alisa,

12:53

she sees. She

12:55

take out a bottle of liquid, and pour

12:58

it on the grease. Don't

13:00

be sad, Ansi, I

13:03

was so softly. She

13:05

turned, she had slowly and stay

13:08

at many tasks. You

13:10

know, Alisa, you could

13:12

hear me, I jump back.

13:15

Yes, Dwen, I could

13:17

hear you. What is your name? Someone's

13:21

asked, she knows. You

13:24

see my daughter, Alisa Rongik, she

13:27

was four, smaller than

13:29

you. So, so,

13:32

so she was. No

13:34

Ansi, I guess yesterday, and

13:37

nobody else here like me. The

13:39

lady's shoulders drop. Do

13:43

you miss your mama? She

13:46

was looking at me, but her voice changed

13:48

like she was talking to her baby. Yes,

13:51

I do. I want to go,

13:54

but my mama can't see me, see me

13:56

like you. She

13:59

rubs. She arms and shivers like the man

14:02

in me. Pa-pa-co-glia

14:04

that day. Where

14:06

family livin'? You know the address?

14:10

I go drop it by the yard. So

14:12

it wouldn't be lonely. I

14:15

think for a minute. I go

14:17

get to see Mama and nod in the head.

14:20

Okay, here we go. She

14:22

touch her daughter's grave soon. Mommy

14:26

loves her plenty, other song.

14:29

Lady let me set up in the car

14:32

next to she while she drives.

14:36

I guess she's madress. She

14:38

said it wasn't too far dry

14:40

from where she lives. Didn't

14:44

talk much, but I

14:46

could see tales of what's enough she sees. She

14:49

car was full with little

14:52

colorful crosses and charms on the dash

14:54

and hung in from the mirror. I

14:58

tried to be his and be quiet, like

15:00

I used to do for Mama, but I

15:02

had so many questions. How

15:04

come you can see on him and no one

15:07

else can't see? When

15:11

he is a child, you can

15:13

see everything she sees. And

15:16

when people get big, some

15:18

of them still see

15:20

spurts and energy, but others

15:22

lose that forever. I

15:25

didn't actually hear anything else after that because

15:28

she sees get hard like she was finished talking.

15:31

When she turned the car into the

15:33

tree where my house was, she stopped

15:35

and turned off the headlights. You

15:38

can walk the rest of the way. I

15:40

don't want to drive up any people yet and

15:42

make them. Yes, Auntie, I

15:45

can walk, thank you. Good

15:48

luck, little man. Sorry,

15:51

sorry I never get a chance to live

15:53

and grow up and experience life. I

15:57

didn't know what to see, so I

15:59

thought she sang. you again

16:01

and watch it in Chicago

16:05

and drive away. Then

16:08

my back was equally method was the

16:11

just only hell and a wrong

16:13

it is and I will reach home. When

16:17

I reached the yard of we big

16:20

old house on the roof, Lenny the

16:22

dog started back hard at me. He

16:25

rushed up like he was going to bite me. Lenny

16:28

doodoo is me Samantha puppy.

16:31

I whistle and pass him on the head. Mama

16:34

never let Lenny in the house

16:37

but everybody knew he

16:39

was my best friend next

16:41

to my cousin Shavani. He

16:44

calmed down when he hear my voice on Nick Masease.

16:47

I laugh because it tickled the

16:49

same as before I died. All

16:53

the lights in the house was off except

16:56

for the one in Mama and

16:58

Daddy's bedroom. I

17:01

tried to climb up the concrete steps in the

17:03

gallery but the thoughts stopped

17:05

and I bounced back on me wrong

17:08

and fall on the backside like when I get

17:10

hit before I died. I tried

17:13

but the back step and the backside

17:15

again. I can't even see on

17:17

the house and he hung on. Daddy hung on for me.

17:21

He must be went inside the house backwards

17:23

to keep mom. I see.

17:26

I sit on the way

17:28

from the yard. Okay that's a

17:30

jumpy with commas or the cocoa bushes behind

17:32

me. I cry

17:34

that Mama didn't want me in the house

17:37

like the dog but Lenny come

17:39

and cuddle up next summer and I

17:41

get nice and warm. I close

17:44

my eyes and went to sleep. The

17:48

next morning Tanti come to

17:50

the house early with Uncle Ram

17:52

and Shavani. Shavani was

17:55

in Satna's funeral. Today

17:57

she had on a new blue dress.

20:00

He thought to go to work. He

20:02

looked even more serious than before. Tanti

20:05

come by in the afternoons and stay with

20:07

Mama. The whole time

20:09

I sit in the same place watching

20:12

Mama's window, wishing

20:14

she would come to it and see me. I

20:17

wanted she to tell me a rhyme or a

20:19

story like she used to when she brushed my

20:21

hair. Would

20:24

she know me if she see me? She

20:28

used to tell me she would never

20:30

ever let anything happen to her. The

20:34

days were so lonely and long.

20:37

I woke up and dug the trees,

20:41

scared the cats and the neighbors'

20:43

groups. Other animals

20:45

could see me just like many.

20:49

My next neighbor, Mr. Knox, comes

20:51

to quarrel with Daddy when often about

20:53

how Daddy didn't cut the grass, coming

20:56

off the trees for a long time. He

20:59

said he rode look amiss. Daddy

21:01

didn't leave any elbac as he

21:04

liked I see before. He

21:06

just said okay and went

21:08

to cut the grass. The

21:10

next night, I went

21:12

to Mr. Knox's house and finally got my

21:15

raps ready hard. He always

21:17

used to brag about how he

21:19

tree had the sweetest fruit. I

21:22

went and I bite each

21:25

and every hoamer rack

21:28

so they all toyed and he

21:30

would have none. Then

21:33

I chased the two dogs round and

21:35

round he housed until they bark and

21:37

wake everybody and he housed up

21:39

and his wife starts screaming, call

21:42

the police. I

21:44

run back to the house to the plum

21:47

tree and laugh and laugh. Daddy

21:50

was happy too and he looked nice. Mommy

21:54

comes to the window and mostly

21:56

crizzens. She look out

21:58

almost like was looking out. I came right at

22:00

me and then Closie drew the

22:03

stars. I closed my eyes and dream

22:05

of she singing must've sleep. The

22:07

next morning, Mama

22:10

came down the front step. She

22:13

didn't look like her mama. She

22:15

was so thin and now

22:17

she eyes was dark like

22:20

holes. She

22:22

clothes was hanging or she like, she

22:24

was a stick and she

22:26

had some gray hair. Mama,

22:29

it's me. I weave

22:31

and whistle. She shakes

22:34

her head and gets in she

22:36

coughs and drives away fast. When

22:39

she come back home, she was

22:41

wearing a red string tie around

22:43

she rests. She

22:45

didn't look at the tree where I was at

22:48

four. How weakly

22:50

so, Uncle Ron

22:52

come over with Shavani by themselves.

22:56

I want to play with Lenny daddy. Shavani

22:59

said Uncle Ron while

23:01

he was speaking some bags out of the van.

23:04

Okay, Shavani stay in the yard. You

23:07

see and went on the steps. Yes

23:10

daddy, Shavani wept weeks

23:12

until he was inside and walked

23:14

straight up to her. What

23:17

she doing on to she in the yard she asked

23:20

and why she just find us. Do

23:22

you have any proper clues? Shavani

23:26

is me Samantha. I

23:29

say happy she could see

23:31

me. But this time my

23:33

voice wasn't a whistle. It's

23:35

come out exactly like Uncle Ron's voice

23:38

seems. Shavani, Shavani,

23:40

Shavani. Moover

23:42

and moover. There

23:45

was no voice, who whistled.

23:48

I come on a tiny motor

23:50

and back away from Shavani. No,

23:52

no, go away. But

23:55

again it come out and Shavani,

23:58

Shavani. and she

24:00

was fooling me. I couldn't

24:03

control my backwards feet. They

24:06

keep walking towards the cuckoo bush, leading

24:09

Shivani away from the house. My

24:12

chest went hot and

24:14

hard. Why Shivani

24:17

couldn't hear me properly? Shivani

24:21

could talk to Mama and wear

24:23

pretty dresses. I was cute

24:26

and I have to sit outside half naked

24:28

on the tree when she found her on

24:30

the ground with no digger. I

24:33

focus and call the Shivani louder

24:36

backing up into the edge of

24:38

cuckoo bushes. Shivani,

24:41

Shivani, Shivani,

24:44

Shivani, where going

24:46

y'all? On the ground

24:49

called from the top of the steps. Shivani

24:52

stop and stare at me. No

24:55

way, Daddy. She's there and run back to the

24:57

house. Lucky, I

25:01

scream, scaring a

25:04

cuckoo in her nearby tree. Shivani

25:06

looked back at me but on go

25:08

around didn't when they went inside the

25:11

house. I

25:13

sit down under my palm tree

25:16

and stare at Mama's window. So

25:19

vexed, I was shaken. That

25:22

evening, Daddy come over the house, scaring past

25:24

on the bed with Uncle Ram. We

25:28

hold a tick in my bed. I shout.

25:32

I run up to the van and try

25:34

to grab Daddy's arm. But he didn't

25:36

feel me. Stop. Don't

25:39

give it away. Don't let Shivani have

25:41

it. They went

25:43

back in and come out with more

25:46

pieces. I stumbled back

25:48

to my tree and hug up Lenny.

25:50

It was dark and the back

25:53

of the truck was full of my tings. Mama

25:57

come out. She looked so

25:59

pretty. I'm not so tired

26:01

anymore. I

26:03

hope you like the bed sets," she

26:05

says. Mama hugged Shivani

26:08

up tight. I

26:12

don't know if I had a heart anymore,

26:15

but as soon as it breaks, that

26:18

hug was for me before

26:20

she gets any back feet. Shivani

26:23

looked back at me. I

26:26

give she the wolf-cothole I could

26:28

from under the shoppid

26:30

hats. Then

26:32

Mama threw their own and went back inside.

26:36

How could you give Shivani my bed? I

26:39

asked before I cry all night.

26:43

These days, Mama puts

26:45

on the black, long-sleeved dress

26:47

she had on her funeral and gets

26:49

in she car. The

26:52

air feels heavy and I get

26:54

pulled to the car. Before

26:56

she starts to drive away, I

26:59

climb up on the trunk and sit down.

27:02

I wasn't scared of falling off. What

27:04

could happen to Mama? I

27:07

was already dead. The

27:09

road she took went through the whole

27:11

town. Past the market

27:14

and the chemist, she was

27:16

going back to the cemetery. When

27:18

she reached, she parked the car and

27:21

sits in it for a long,

27:23

long time. I

27:25

see she threw the back window. She

27:29

shoulders were shaken. What

27:31

change she needs, my sad. I

27:34

jump off the car and went on

27:36

a grave. It was

27:39

different now. Grass did grow

27:41

over the hole. You

27:43

would never know my body should be under the ground.

27:47

Hi, a little voicey.

27:50

A kid dressed like me with a

27:52

hat and grass I

28:01

actually touch and she shoulder.

28:03

How you know my name? She

28:06

say bouncing on one backwards foot.

28:09

Your mama has my get back home. She

28:11

was looking fair. Where was the

28:13

night she come to look fair? I

28:16

doesn't stay here during the night. It's

28:18

a scary bad old man zombie with

28:21

bright red eyes. If you

28:23

see her, he take off the top

28:25

of his head and acts it as touchy brain.

28:28

True. Then I

28:31

was lucky your mama bring my back home. I

28:34

see all kind of way people here. Is

28:36

that your mama coming? No.

28:39

She point towards the car park. Mama

28:42

was walking over some of the trees. Rain

28:44

she had. When she was

28:46

in front of it, she sit down and

28:49

put she hands flat on the grass. She

28:52

didn't move or say anything. I

28:57

want to see my mama too. Alyssa

29:00

say, eh, you can

29:02

wait till she come back to see you here

29:04

or you could get right with me back to

29:06

the tongue and look for she. She

29:09

say all you live in all you live in close

29:11

by week. Alyssa

29:14

clap. I want to come

29:16

with all you. Mama

29:19

look at me direction, but she

29:21

she had and look away. Okay

29:24

then. Who answers on me. I

29:27

tell her this is the first

29:29

time I get to sit with my mama since I

29:31

did. Alyssa run off

29:33

on she used towards the car. I

29:36

sit right next to mom. She

29:38

wasn't crying. Samantha.

29:42

She say in she's nice. So

29:45

boys, she's when

29:47

she week for school. I

29:52

hope you know. I love you so much.

29:55

I couldn't ever

29:57

be the same. She

29:59

stopped. like something catching she doot. I

30:03

know you're not that rusty. Me

30:06

too. But

30:09

things is going to start to change.

30:13

She wipes her face. I

30:15

want to tell you that. So

30:17

you know that. I love you. Then

30:21

she was quiet a long time.

30:23

The whole time she

30:25

told me it did feel like pieces

30:27

inside my chest was breaking apart. It

30:31

wasn't a sharpie not old. It

30:33

was a deep ache. And

30:35

she blew my grave a kiss

30:38

and started. I

30:40

follow she back to the car and sit next

30:42

to Alisa on the trunk. Alisa

30:45

put she on her own. That

30:47

was nice because I don't know when

30:49

was the last time somebody hugged me.

30:54

When we reached the village Alisa says

30:56

she has to jump off the trunk by the

30:58

cat. How you

31:00

gonna find your mama house if you don't know where address.

31:03

I asked she before she jump off at

31:05

the main junction. I go

31:08

go to the market and wait for she did. Okay

31:11

bye. I go as

31:14

the car driver fast and left little

31:17

Alisa behind in the dark. People

31:21

start to come last to the house. Mama

31:23

would sit on the gallery steps every day and

31:25

talk on the phone to Tanti or she cousins.

31:29

I threw she voice was heavy heavy

31:31

and she didn't talk much but

31:33

slowly she started to move.

31:36

She's on better and that make me

31:38

happy. One day on

31:41

the phone she laugh and

31:43

it makes me jump. It was

31:45

a quick bubbling thing that she ate

31:47

my chest. I

31:50

laugh with she and that

31:52

make Lenny starts a whole

31:54

and whole. Mama

31:56

laugh at him whole and the

31:58

song fell off the air. and film

32:00

up too. Mama's

32:03

clothes start to get tight. She

32:06

fears get around her. See

32:08

my shibali. One

32:11

day, Ongeram's ramp drop, turned

32:14

to Anshivani by the house.

32:17

Shivani was holding a burden

32:19

in shehand at sea. Beevi,

32:22

on it. Then all

32:24

the aunties and cousins come. The

32:27

aunties was laughing and talking and

32:30

dancing to Soka while the kids stay

32:32

with Lenny below the house. Lenny

32:35

puppy! I called but

32:37

he wouldn't come. He was

32:39

busy jumping with Shivani and David and

32:41

the other cousins haven't fun. Lenny!

32:43

I scream at him. All

32:46

the kids look at me under the tree. Lenny

32:50

didn't move and Shivani grabbed

32:52

the collar. No, no, Lenny!

32:54

Don't go by she. That

32:56

is our Jumbie. The other

32:58

little kids scream when she says Jumbie

33:01

and run up the gallery steps. That

33:04

is her twin. Look at her dress and look

33:06

at his foot. David

33:08

picks up her spoon and tells the satin

33:10

there. He missed and

33:12

I laughed so hard all the kids had

33:15

to cover their ears. Then

33:17

David threw another rock. This time it

33:19

hit me right in the center of

33:22

my chest. It

33:24

hit me. On the

33:26

same way like when I was alive was more

33:29

inside like a boon.

33:33

Then the other cousins all started to

33:35

rock sadness, hit in my every way

33:37

and I had to run in the gopo bush to

33:39

hide. What happened to all of

33:41

you? I hear Tanti voice

33:43

from a hiding spot. It's

33:46

a what went fancy. Shivani says

33:49

everybody was quiet. All

33:51

the comments are the hosts. Tanti says I

33:54

stay in the bush with the bugs and lizard

33:56

and rooms until I reach night and everybody

33:59

born home. Lenny,

34:01

Lenny puppy come, he

34:04

come over and wimp on like Mufis.

34:08

Now you're on men, before when

34:10

Siobhan was dead and want to come by me. Mufis

34:13

get hot like a flambeau,

34:17

I stand up and whistle like Lenny's

34:19

accounts. Then I

34:21

lead Lenny into the bush, walk

34:23

and walk in the dark, deep,

34:26

deep into the forest. I

34:29

whistle and whistle and soon I

34:32

could hear wild dogs barking so

34:34

crisp and vexed. Puppies

34:38

come, I call as I

34:40

climb up a tree, I look away

34:42

when Lenny crawl and the wild dogs

34:44

tear him apart. I

34:47

wasn't so bad, that I

34:49

could watch that. Two

34:52

days later, Daddy and Uncle

34:54

Ran went in the bush to look for

34:56

Lenny. I could hear them call

34:58

me all day, Siobhan cry,

35:01

when they come back and tell she Lenny was gone.

35:04

I cry too, because I shouldn't have killed

35:06

my puppy. Mama

35:10

had the baby, my brother. Daddy

35:13

was happy, he smiled and

35:15

laughed when people come to

35:17

visit. Siobhan and

35:19

Dizir and all had the little

35:21

cousins came to see the baby. They

35:25

call him Rajeev, so

35:27

Rajeev. Sometimes,

35:30

Mommy would put Rajeev

35:32

in the basket and

35:35

on the gallery and so can Siobhan.

35:38

I would listen and pretend she

35:40

was singing, so meek. But

35:43

then she would take Rajeev inside

35:45

and I'd be all alone again, with

35:47

no one. Not

35:50

even Lenny. Soon,

35:54

Rajeev was talking all kinds of

35:56

silly words and trying to walk.

36:00

uncle Ram and Shivani was an anti-com

36:02

mover. They did blow kisses and

36:04

laugh at every noise he makes. He

36:07

was cute. Maybe

36:09

he looks like me. But then

36:11

Shivani started the call. Rajiv,

36:14

brother. One day

36:16

on the gallery, mama said, that's right. He

36:18

is your brother. My

36:20

chest went red hot and hard

36:22

again. I wanted to drag

36:24

Shivani in the bush by she here, but

36:26

I couldn't because she never came near the clumsy

36:28

anymore. I wasn't

36:31

going to get bigger. Nobody

36:33

spoke to me and anyone who gets

36:35

see my last mile pelts in my

36:37

wood rocks like Shivani or David. Mama

36:40

never let Rajiv come on the

36:43

grass. Daddy was busy with

36:45

Luke and all right

36:47

in front of my Shivani was

36:49

calling Rajiv, brother. He

36:52

is not a brother yet, chuckass.

36:55

I scream. My voice come

36:57

out like the crow that he meet before

36:59

he dies. Everyone look

37:02

up at the clumsy. Even

37:04

Rajiv and mama. Mama

37:06

scrunched up she faced like she was

37:08

willing to cry. Now

37:10

we were inside everybody. She said, pick up

37:12

Rajiv from the garden. The

37:15

next day a familiar car come up in

37:17

the yard. It

37:19

was Alisa's mother, the auntie

37:21

who brought me home from the cemetery.

37:24

Auntie went inside the house. Alisa

37:27

slip out the car and comes to sit with

37:29

me under the tree. I

37:31

put my arm around she and she had mama's

37:33

window. How come all

37:35

day I ask she? You don't

37:38

know? Alisa see picking up

37:40

one of the almost yellow plums that

37:42

had fallen off the tree. My

37:46

mother is a vallajobian woman. Her

37:48

true? Yes, she not.

37:51

And your mother calls she and says have a

37:53

bad spirit in the plum tree. And

37:55

ask the mother to get rid of it. Mama

37:59

asked she. She took care of her. I

38:02

held myself back from screaming. This

38:05

was worse than when mama left

38:08

my anti-semitry. I

38:11

hock up Alyssa so tight

38:14

I would have crushed she wounds if she was

38:16

alive. She didn't complain. Then

38:19

Alyssa's mother come down the steps and woke up

38:21

to us under the tree. She

38:26

was pretty and had beautiful

38:28

dark skin. All

38:31

the earrings she smelled like sandalwood again.

38:34

This was when she said your mother asked me

38:36

to get rid of the bad spirit right

38:38

in the street. I don't

38:40

know all what she could see on here but

38:42

she says to have anything to do with you

38:45

to put up protection spells to keep

38:47

you from muting yourself and the utter

38:50

assurance. She

38:52

mouthed in dung after she turned around.

38:55

What you go to auntie is

38:57

actually still hock up

38:59

Alyssa. It's me who bring

39:01

her hair and I won't do anything to suit you.

39:04

I woke up a forecast alone so

39:07

you can't come in the yard at all but

39:09

I cannot control English and

39:11

you could have free reign of that. She

39:14

nudged she had asthma. I

39:16

was quiet for a long time. She

39:49

had so hard all the

39:52

animals' names runaway died. Auntie's

39:55

splash was there on the yard

39:58

and shunt quietly. I

40:00

hear she gets in she care. I

40:03

was so hot and relaxed. I thought I

40:05

would set the whole forest on fire. How

40:08

could Mama do this? How

40:10

she could forget me? I

40:13

banged my sister against her tree, but

40:15

it wasn't Mama's fault. It

40:17

was Shivani showing off that

40:20

getting her upset on purpose made

40:22

Mama scared for she sells energy.

40:27

I was so loud to the trees in Iraq. I

40:31

waved patient until I hear Uncle Ram's call

40:33

one day. I

40:36

complained, yeah, daddy? She

40:38

said, Shivani asked. I

40:41

stayed quiet until I

40:43

was sure Uncle Ram was inside the

40:45

house and I could hear Shivani's bones

40:47

in our bowls. My

40:51

old one. I

40:53

whimper like Lenny as loud

40:55

as I could from the bush. The

40:58

bones didn't stop. Then,

41:00

stop again. I

41:03

remember all the times I held daddy, see Lenny?

41:06

I whine so hard it's

41:08

echo in the head and

41:10

Shivani stopped again. Lenny,

41:13

Shivani called and

41:15

says she with Lenny is excited. Yup,

41:18

yup. A few

41:20

minutes later, I

41:23

had footsteps in the dead

41:25

leaves and the edge of the bush. I

41:28

did bark like Lenny when

41:30

Shivani and me used a truer bowl to

41:32

eat a fetch. Then,

41:36

I heard Lenny, Shivani called again,

41:39

into the jungle father,

41:41

backing up over fallen

41:43

trees and through

41:45

branches I whimper like Lenny's

41:48

root. I miss

41:50

him, poor puppy. It

41:52

wasn't he false either, right mama? It

41:55

was Shivani. It was always

41:57

Shivani. She made my whole life a

41:59

better place. Lenny wasn't being again and

42:02

again. Shivani starts to

42:04

run and crash through the trees.

42:06

Lenny, Lenny, where are you, Poppy?

42:09

She's free. She

42:12

was scared. Good. She

42:17

trips over the rocks and starts a

42:20

cry about bugs and tears. She drags.

42:22

Woof woof! Where

42:25

are you, Lenny? You can't be far.

42:27

She stops moving. Where

42:30

am I? She asks,

42:32

crying. I laugh

42:36

and she screams a lot because she hears us. Shivani!

42:40

Uncle Ramgold. They come

42:43

from the house that looks as she. I

42:45

copy he voiced. Shivani! I yell,

42:48

Shivani? She footsteps back

42:50

and forth. She

42:53

wasn't sure which direction to go. Shivani!

42:56

I call again and

42:58

she moves towards me. I start

43:01

to back away towards the place

43:03

where the wild dogs kill Lenny.

43:06

I wouldn't look away this time. It

43:09

should have been she instead of a Poppy.

43:12

Samantha! Her footsteps stop.

43:15

Samantha! It

43:18

was Mama's voice. It

43:21

hock into me like a sight. While

43:25

she was out here, she must

43:28

be looking for Shivani. She

43:30

didn't need me anymore. I

43:32

wanted to back away, but I

43:34

couldn't. She spoke on the

43:37

seat when towards her voice. Samantha!

43:41

She called like when she woke many

43:43

mornings of school. Samantha! She

43:45

said like when she laughed at the jokes. Samantha!

43:50

She sang like when she put me

43:52

to bed when I was little. Samantha!

43:56

She cried like the dears. She laughed

43:58

at the sentry. I

44:01

couldn't stop myself from going to sheath. I

44:04

pass Shivani's scratch up and bloody,

44:07

sittin' on an old rotten tree.

44:11

She get up and follow my

44:13

back the way I lead she towards

44:15

the house. When

44:18

she could see the yard, she run past

44:20

me out of the bush. Shivani?"

44:24

I hear Uncle Ramsay. He

44:27

was choke up again, cryin'. Mama's

44:30

waist up. "'Daddy?"

44:33

Shivani saw. I

44:36

sit down and I wish I'd never

44:38

come back here because all they want

44:41

was Shivani and not me anymore. I

44:45

belong with the dad, not with my

44:47

loved one, Mama. They

44:49

would call the auntie to do something, Samana again

44:51

for sure. I stand

44:53

up to go back deeper into the bush. Samanta?"

44:59

I hear Mama again through the stomach.

45:02

I turn around. She was standing

45:04

there, in front of me. Tears

45:07

on she sees. The

45:09

red string from she rests was gone.

45:13

And I could see Alyssa's mother, the

45:15

auntie behind she. There

45:18

she, the auntie see.

45:21

Mama come towards me and put she hand

45:23

on the neck. She

45:26

stare at me tiny mouth and

45:28

no eyesease and smile as

45:30

she tears. She

45:33

was shook when

45:35

she took. I

45:38

can see her now, Samanta really.

45:42

She hug me up, tight,

45:44

tight, tight. She's

45:47

a good girl. Well

45:53

done. You survived another story. What did

45:56

you think of Dwen by Susan Palumbo?

45:59

If you're a Patreon subscriber, please subscribe. subscriber, we encourage you to

46:01

pop over to our Discord channel and tell us.

46:04

Susan shared this about her heartbreaking

46:06

tale. This story is set

46:08

at my grandmother's house in Trinidad. The

46:11

story itself is written in dialect the way I

46:13

would have spoken it. It poured out of my

46:15

head that way fully completed. Because

46:17

I'm part of the diaspora, it is really reflective

46:19

of how my parents spoke to me as a

46:21

child, and it is the most unfiltered story I've

46:24

ever written. On

46:26

a personal note, as a great fan

46:28

of short fiction, I was immersed in

46:30

Samantha's story from the beginning. The sheer

46:32

tragedy of her death, the unfairness of

46:34

her afterlife, her jealousy and fear of

46:36

being forgotten and replaced. All of this

46:38

made her tale both deeply heartbreaking and

46:41

uncomfortably understandable. We often hear

46:43

tales of vengeful spirits who attack the ones

46:45

they love, but it is rare to read

46:47

a story that so beautifully communicates how human

46:49

our supernatural creatures truly are. Samantha's

46:52

transition from confusion to sadness to

46:54

anger to wrath is impactful

46:56

because, after hearing her story, after

46:58

following along, we understand how easily

47:01

we too could transform in this

47:03

way. This story is

47:05

not only brilliant in terms of

47:07

voice and perspective, but Susan Palumbo's

47:10

use of bubbles throughout two mothers,

47:12

two daughters, two Dwen was both

47:14

emotionally impactful and brilliant formally. Finally,

47:16

I just want to say that I really love

47:19

the ending. Many horror stories end in tragedy. You

47:21

might think that Shivani's death was the

47:23

logical progression and logical result

47:26

of Samantha's change, but we

47:28

have Alyssa's mother, the auntie, who sees the child

47:30

within the Dwen throughout. It is

47:32

the auntie who reunites Samantha with her

47:34

mother, and with that, she ends a

47:36

tragic story with hope. Finally,

47:40

Pseudopod is funded by you, our

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See you soon, folks. Take care. Stay

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