0:01

I'm Julian

0:04

Field. I'm

0:17

Liv Ackar. And this is the

0:19

Perverts Podcast, where we venture into horny

0:21

online subcultures and take you along for

0:23

the ride. By nightfall,

0:25

a malaise had set in. I

0:27

had spent all day on sex

0:29

doll forums and perused online catalogs

0:32

of lifeless, sometimes dismembered female bodies.

0:34

I had read discussions of orifice

0:36

quality and cleaning techniques, dug into

0:38

internecine strife between doll lovers and

0:41

doll manufacturers, and read long, meandering

0:43

posts about companionship and loneliness. And,

0:46

I had learned of the existence of

0:48

the Vajankhel, a highly realistic human foot

0:50

with female genitalia built into its stump.

0:53

I went for a walk through the darkened neighborhood, attempting

0:55

to settle my mind. Occasionally, I

0:57

crossed a few realistic human beings,

0:59

fully articulated, clothed, and returning home

1:02

from a day at work. Could

1:04

they tell? Did they know? Avoiding

1:07

eye contact, I continued on my way.

1:10

The way of the pervert. Joining

1:13

us this week in the dollhouse,

1:15

we've got Alice Avezandam from The

1:17

Trash Future, Kill James Bond,

1:20

and Well There's Your Problem Podcasts.

1:22

Welcome Alice. Hi, thanks so much for

1:24

having me. Thank you for dragging

1:26

me in off the street, propping me

1:28

up in a chair, and I hope

1:30

to provide a kind of simulacrum of

1:33

a podcast guest. Yeah, we didn't have

1:35

to buy one of those stands because

1:37

you have one of those kind of

1:39

locking ankle formats with a hard metal

1:41

core to your feet. Exactly. I'm

1:44

often talking about my hard metal core, it's like a

1:46

big selling point for me. I

1:48

have one of those too, which is why I'm stopped

1:51

when I go through the airport scanner. Always.

1:54

Yeah, I mean, mine's because

1:56

of being transgender, but also the

1:58

metal core doesn't have... Yeah,

2:00

it's a double-wamming situation. When

2:04

they do the gender-selecting scan

2:06

thing, it's like male, female,

2:08

large metal core. You

2:11

have something like silicon in your

2:14

pelvis region? We're not really sure. That's

2:17

the large metal core, for fuck's sake. Entering

2:20

our doll era. The

2:22

modern sex doll, as will be appearing in this

2:24

episode, is surprisingly sophisticated. On the cheaper end, these

2:27

things cost $500 to $1,000, but the most lifelike

2:29

of them can go

2:32

for beyond $10,000. Offer

2:34

the purpose of replicating a

2:36

real human woman as accurately

2:38

as possible. They include customizable

2:40

faces and bodies, temperature regulation

2:42

mechanisms, removable inserts for the

2:44

mouth, vagina, and asshole for

2:46

cleaning. I

2:49

have to confess, I haven't thought about the

2:51

maintenance of a sex doll a great deal.

2:54

Because it's an investment,

2:57

right? You buy it

2:59

for a long time, you're going to

3:01

come in it a lot. Presumably you've

3:03

got to get the cum back out again. But,

3:06

God, just having to

3:08

visualize that. Because the real

3:11

ones, they clean themselves. That's

3:13

right, yeah. That's

3:16

the next part of sex doll

3:18

technology. They get out of bed,

3:20

they get the towel, they put

3:22

it up your mouth. Yeah,

3:24

they awkwardly ask you, okay, how are we

3:26

going to do this? And then they disappear

3:28

for a while. Great. You

3:30

took a perfectly good sex doll and you gave it anxiety. And

3:35

many more bizarrely specific features to ensure

3:37

that anyone with enough money can have

3:40

their perfect woman built according to their

3:42

exact desires. And these things have an

3:44

uncanny similarity to real women. Some

3:46

of the photos of these dolls took

3:48

me a second to register that they're

3:50

actually just intricate facsimiles made for sex

3:53

perverts. You can go

3:55

to Britain if you want to read this exact

3:57

sentence of a basim written about like living women.

4:00

subconscious cannot help but speak on this one. Yeah,

4:02

I really look forward to the

4:06

the next book in the Harry

4:08

Potter series, Harry Potter and the

4:10

intricate facsimiles for sex perverts. But

4:15

these sort of sex dolls have only been on the

4:17

market for the past 27 years and

4:19

so they're far from the beginning of

4:21

people's perverted relationship to these facsimiles. In

4:24

the ancient Roman playwright Ovid's poem Metamorphoses,

4:26

a character named Pygmalion who is unsatisfied

4:28

with the many flaws he finds in

4:30

real women, carves the statue of a

4:32

woman out of ivory. He then finds

4:34

this statue so perfect that he falls

4:36

in love with it. Yeah, Galatea, also

4:39

the name of an early interactive fiction

4:41

game. We love to be so good

4:43

at sculpting that we're like, this is

4:45

better than women because women are gross

4:48

and this is like, like

4:50

Pygmalion he detests beyond measure the

4:52

faults which nature gives to women,

4:54

which interesting. Mm-hmm. Yeah,

4:57

ivory seems a little rough on the on the cock

4:59

but who am I to say? Oh, I

5:01

mean you smooth that shit down and then

5:04

you have a sort of an

5:06

experience, I guess. Personally I would I would

5:08

I'm like an open-minded guy so I would

5:10

I would make it out of ebony but

5:13

ivory's fine too. To

5:15

fuck the the stone woman specifically

5:17

I think you would get it

5:19

would get like moss or something

5:21

you know like you would

5:23

have some kind of like pubic

5:26

lichen develop over time I

5:28

have to imagine. Yeah, that would

5:30

be cool it's like a chia

5:33

pet and the pubes grow in.

5:35

Well this story is obviously fictional. It seems

5:37

to have been based upon some actual events within

5:40

the ancient world. As it turns out a

5:42

lot of guys wanted to fuck the statues back

5:44

then. It's like a normie kink in the

5:47

in the like Hellenic world. It's like being

5:49

a fuck guy. Yeah. Guy who wants to

5:51

fuck the statues. Yeah. One of the reasons

5:53

for this is because to quote Alex Coby

5:55

and Tony Taylor from an article by Jesse

5:58

Behring. The early civilizations provided in the abundance

6:00

of sculptured human figures with which people

6:02

could identify and these were representational in

6:05

appearance, coloring and size. The statues were

6:07

placed on street level rather than high

6:09

up on pedestals. Hence the statues were

6:12

life-size, life-like and so conveniently accessible as

6:14

to enable the populace to form personal

6:16

relationships with them. Wait so now

6:18

I'm imagining a guy sneaking out in the night and

6:20

just fucking statues. That's that rule.

6:22

That, that's when being a pervert took some

6:25

fucking effort. You had to go and like

6:27

sodomize a public piece of art. Julian, you

6:29

don't have to imagine. Okay. They

6:32

had, they had, you know, the

6:34

Herms, you know, the statues that are just

6:36

like sculptural head and shoulders and then it's

6:38

a column with a dick on it. Yeah.

6:42

And yeah, Alcibiades got in trouble in ancient Athens

6:44

for like running around snapping the dicks off all

6:46

of them before going to war in Sicily, which...

6:49

I'm a postmodern man so I only have

6:52

sex with the Jeff Koons inflatable

6:54

like dogs. But

6:57

that's just me. A new stereotype of white

6:59

women is that we want to fuck the

7:02

Jeff Koons inflatable dogs. I

7:04

guess it's a balloon dog. I don't know why

7:06

I said inflatable. Balloons are inflatable. That's fine. Because

7:08

we're talking about sex dolls. Yeah. Inflatable

7:11

is a word. It's right there.

7:13

That's that really important like market business

7:15

idea for like white women that

7:17

hasn't been really taken advantage of yet,

7:19

I think. Putting a, putting

7:21

a mouth on the dogs. One

7:25

of the examples of these statue fuckers that

7:27

Jesse Bering provides in their article Hearts of

7:29

Stone is an account written by a Greek

7:31

writer named Athanas in the second century. Clay

7:33

Sophos of Salimbria fell in love with the

7:36

statue and parry and marble at Samos, locked

7:38

himself up in the temple thinking he should

7:40

be able to have intercourse with it. And

7:42

since he found that impossible on account of

7:44

the frigidity and resistance of the stone, he

7:47

then and there desisted from that desire and

7:49

placing before him a small piece of flesh,

7:52

he satisfied his desire with that. Ew,

7:54

gross. I don't know what that means. I tried to say, what

7:56

the fuck does that mean? He fucked his steak. He had like

7:59

a, like a a stake and he fucked

8:01

it. You've been listening to

8:03

a sample of the Perverts Podcast.

8:05

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8:07

as well as previous QAA miniseries

8:09

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8:14

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8:16

Thank you, beautiful gooners. And goonettes.