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1:19

to learn more. Um,

1:33

yeah, I'm the first one. What do you mean

1:35

you're the first one? I was recording before anyone

1:37

else was. I was recording. I've

1:39

been recording for two minutes. I'm just listening. One

1:42

minute and seven. Editor,

1:45

I guess, two minutes recording time. When you

1:47

sync this up, can you let us know

1:49

who actually did in fact record first? It's

1:53

definitely Gavin because I started five seconds prior.

1:55

I didn't know he's recording two minutes. What's

2:00

your time? What's my timer right now? Give me a second.

2:02

Let me 32 seconds 42

2:05

44 45 3

2:08

you lose Good for

2:11

you. You know what they say

2:13

first the worst second the best just

2:15

throwing that out there. Think about that Here

2:20

in our playground What

2:22

an unfortunate transition of errors on paper

2:25

that does not look great. Oh

2:27

come into the playground No

2:31

All right, let me start here. Go ahead

2:33

Jeff Hello and

2:35

welcome to another episode of the

2:38

face podcast. This is episode 202

2:42

It is our 200 first episode and we

2:44

are so excited to be presenting our

2:46

special comedy and friendship to you My

2:49

name is Jeff Ramsey with me as

2:51

always Andrew pinton and Gavin free fellas

2:54

Start entertaining. Do you know what made me excited

2:56

the other day? What? I

2:59

was talking to Nick in real life and

3:01

I made him a lot and the real

3:03

life laugh hits different I'd

3:06

assume it's the exact same. I mean it

3:08

is But I just say wow I'm

3:10

witnessing it life Wow, it's different. It's

3:13

different in there. You feel it differently when you're in

3:15

the same room Interesting.

3:17

I've never made Nick laugh in person life

3:20

goals Okay,

3:23

never mind Nick said no Have

3:27

you ever been in a room with me? Come on We

3:29

were hanging out the the company's ending

3:31

party briefly There's

3:36

an ending party for the company I

3:38

don't know what it was. I got a calendar invite that

3:40

everyone was gonna be easy tiger. So I just went along

3:43

How was it? The

3:50

ending party nice it was the

3:52

same conversations You

3:54

know, like you see so I say how's it

3:56

going? It was like yeah dog shit the world's

3:58

ending dog shit who was Event organizer

4:00

David Duke like what? Sounds

4:04

like a terrible party interesting

4:06

choice for event organizer I

4:08

also met a bunch of people and I spoke

4:11

to the first time of that last day companies

4:13

do Who's David Duke

4:16

David Duke was a racist

4:18

politician from Louisiana? I know I

4:20

don't know why I

4:22

was I was like that head of there I think he

4:24

was the head of the Ku Klux Klan for a while.

4:26

Oh, yeah I don't know Jones

4:30

is who I meant right the fuck

4:32

is David Jones, baby Jones is from

4:34

the No,

4:36

or baby Joe's from the monkey who's the

4:38

Jones? The locker guy

4:41

the locker guy or the guy from the monkeys. What

4:44

was the Jones town guy's name? Jim

4:47

Jones Jim Jones. There we go.

4:49

That's what I meant But

4:52

you started it David Duke

4:54

I just I think that it would I went

4:56

into the evil man folder my brain and that's

4:59

what came out first So Sigourney

5:01

Weaver started a pie It's

5:03

the a literate thing right because it's David

5:06

Duke Jim Jones. He was getting caught up

5:08

on the same Yeah, same last name thing

5:10

maybe once we realized there's a

5:12

problem I went well, I know it's Jones town.

5:14

So it has to be a Jones last name

5:18

And then we carried on from there I

5:21

Wasn't that back. Let's do flukeface. So

5:24

you had an end party and it was

5:26

hosted by Jim Jones That's

5:29

perfect. Thanks Yeah,

5:33

I practiced as

5:35

I was talking about this a little bit in my

5:37

so alright podcast that I recorded today where It

5:40

just it's so it's it's so weird because

5:42

the company everything's ending and wrapping up but

5:44

for like two months So

5:46

it's like the most prolonged series of

5:48

goodbyes ever Is

5:52

anybody else feel that way oh, yeah, yeah every time I

5:55

every time I talk somebody I feel like it's just continuing the

5:57

same long conversation that's

5:59

just Kind of always

6:01

happening and I don't know it's the

6:03

weird It's like it's the weirdest thing that to sit in

6:05

and just like we have another like five weeks of it

6:07

or four weeks of It ahead of us, you know We've

6:10

already been doing it for three weeks Yeah,

6:13

I keep having like a really good time with people that I've never

6:15

met before I don't like man Where were they the whole time? But

6:18

it really was where I was I the whole time trying to hang out

6:20

with you, but you were with Man

6:24

death party I

6:27

Terrible it was just a happy hour like

6:29

it was just a thing to get together

6:31

to be like why did he

6:34

call it a death party? It's Gavin. That's

6:36

a I don't you're never gonna get that

6:38

answered. I don't know did I call it

6:40

a death pie? Definitely did

6:42

I think I did and by

6:45

that I'm once again established. I'm not a reliable

6:47

narrator when I say that But

6:52

you absolutely did roll you you called

6:54

it you called it an ending Lucy

6:57

this ending party and you brought in

7:00

cults and and Racist

7:02

politicians for some reason. Yeah, I

7:04

say this lovingly, but I think the British Jackal

7:06

is gonna have a clip next week And I'm

7:08

ready for it I'm

7:13

feeling the British the British Jackal. I just

7:15

called him the British Jackal. I don't know

7:17

why That's

7:20

so cool British

7:24

Jackal it makes them sound like he

7:26

wears sunglasses all the time. That's so

7:28

awesome Oh, I love the

7:31

British Jackal the British Jackal could be

7:33

a wrestler. He could be an international

7:35

man of mystery He could be a

7:37

spy it applies to a lot of

7:39

things. It's it's pretty wide open. I

7:42

I would jump on that if I were you guys Are

7:45

you talking about me? Names

7:57

for the last five days. I don't want you talking about

7:59

Well, Gracie the British Jackal.

8:02

Yep, that's it. I

8:04

don't know what day it is. When I

8:06

see that screenshot on this call, I think

8:08

British Jackal. They've done it again. It's

8:11

becoming clear to me in recording

8:14

these back-to-back episodes that

8:16

Andrew and Gavin are

8:18

diminishing around us. In

8:21

front of us. I'm starting to get

8:23

a little worried about you two, because we need to

8:25

start a new thing together, and you guys are twisting

8:27

in the wind right now. Well,

8:29

you gotta break the old thing. We got

8:31

the foundation is cracked, and we just gotta break

8:34

it more until we build it out. No,

8:36

I just got it jacked up in 1.14

8:38

inches or whatever. The

8:40

foundation's fine. Jacked up 1.4 inches.

8:42

Oh, God. Come, era.

8:45

Once again, 1.14. Wait, what? What?

8:47

That was a cum shoehorn. What? This

8:50

is... This

8:53

is gonna go down as our... We're gonna start

8:55

to an episode. It is so... Andrew,

8:57

are you okay? I said,

8:59

listen, we talked about a jizzle, and

9:01

you brought it to the cum era,

9:04

and Jeff's over here talking about Jack

9:06

and his 1.4, and that's a stretch

9:08

for cum. Get outta here. That

9:10

is a stretch for cum. No, it's

9:12

not. He's jacking away at his 1.4. It

9:16

was 1.4. I thought it

9:18

was 1.24. It's a stick of

9:20

the world. All right, it's my dick. You've seen

9:22

my dick, Gavin. You've seen

9:24

my dick a bunch. It's perfectly fine. It's

9:26

a totally fine dick. Stop,

9:29

stop. The British Jackal's here, and she's

9:32

gonna get mad. Gracie,

9:36

congratulations on being on the new nickname.

9:38

I'm jealous, honestly. I

9:42

wish somebody would call me the British Jackal. Weren't

9:45

you Metal Snake? Yeah.

9:47

Wow, Metal Snake to British Jackal?

9:50

Yeah, I've really elevated. Would

9:54

you even know how that came about, Gracie? Say

9:57

we were at the death party that just happened. Right.

10:00

And you're like, hey, I'm British Jacko. I'd be like, oh, how'd you

10:02

get that name? No, I know.

10:05

What are you talking about? What

10:08

are you saying? What do you say?

10:12

What is the point? No, what was

10:14

the point of your story? The

10:16

story was a scenario where I was like, can you

10:18

even explain that back to its origin? No.

10:22

OK. I mean, it did just happen

10:24

in front of you right now, Gracie. Right.

10:26

But like, talking to a third party,

10:28

no. Wouldn't even bother. He's

10:36

like, how does anybody get a nickname? Well, I don't know.

10:38

Exactly. Why is it your business? Hmm?

10:45

I'll tell you the first thing a British

10:47

Jackal doesn't do, it's justify their

10:49

name to you. Never

10:51

going to explain himself. I felt like

10:53

the British part really narrowed it into

10:55

who I was talking about. What

10:58

am I, the only British person? On

11:00

the show, yes! Yeah, you're kind

11:03

of the British park. He's the

11:05

Canadian. I'm the American. You're the Brit. It's kind of our

11:07

thing for 202, 221 episodes. Yeah,

11:10

but you talked about other British people? Yeah,

11:12

but I said, I think the British Jackal's going

11:14

to have a clip for next week. You're always

11:16

bringing clips up. No one else is doing

11:18

the clips. You're a clips man. Oh,

11:21

OK. You got a lot of clips. So

11:25

we had almost 201 episodes of material in

11:27

us, is

11:30

what I'm learning. God damn it, we're

11:32

just so goddamn stupid. Turns

11:36

out watermallows do what they were doing. It was the

11:38

same. They

11:40

timed it almost perfectly. I'll be honest

11:42

with you, I had the weirdest night sleep of my

11:44

entire life. I woke

11:46

up from a nightmare

11:48

exactly every hour from like 11

11:50

until 4. Same

11:53

nightmare? It

11:55

was always like the time and 50 minutes.

11:57

And I somehow pissed like a full bladder every day.

12:00

single time. I don't know where the So

12:03

how how many hours or how many times did

12:05

you wake up then do you sleep for eight

12:07

hours or eight hours of pee and nightmares what

12:10

took me a while to get about to sleep each time so I'd

12:12

say it was maybe combined

12:14

it was like five or six hours. Did

12:18

the five or six nightmares could

12:21

you string them together into some sort of a narrative

12:23

or were they all completely separate?

12:28

That was a question for you Gavin just so

12:30

you know. My computer cut out. Hang on.

12:33

Let me answer on his behalf. Can

12:35

you not hear me now? Yeah we can

12:37

hear you. I can hear you. Well Dassie

12:39

is a blank white screen. Oh

12:43

who's recording for a smell

12:45

motherfucker? Eat my

12:48

dust. Hang on is it

12:50

gonna pull through? Is it gonna

12:52

pull through? Come on. Oh please. Come

12:54

on now. Stop saying that. How does

12:56

this happen? Don't you have like the most

12:58

powerful equipment of all of us? Test.

13:03

Oh he can't even. I'm talking to no one.

13:05

No no no I was just trying to get

13:07

my waveform. Yeah I guess I could

13:09

have just answered the question instead of

13:11

saying that. But

13:13

then the waveform wouldn't have known you were testing.

13:15

I think we're good. I think

13:17

there may be some slippage there in the

13:19

edit. Where's your waveform right now? What timer?

13:23

Oh that's a good question. Where you at?

13:25

13 minutes. Fuck! You've

13:28

gotten further ahead somehow. How? I'm at 12

13:30

15. He was a minute

13:32

and a half ahead of me before. Fuck I'm

13:34

slowing down! What is happening? I

13:37

think we're all experiencing time drift. I

13:40

think it's possible. Dude speaking of that. Uh

13:42

they're onto me with the backwards robo calls. Haven't

13:45

had another one. I think they were

13:48

worried I was gonna record one. And

13:50

they stopped doing it. Interesting. Really? Yeah.

13:52

Stop those. I

13:54

still haven't gotten anything like that. I've been

13:56

anticipating a weird call of

13:59

some kind because Both I'm getting I'm

14:02

I all my fun is over nobody has

14:04

called me to try to sell me anything So

14:06

I like that three or four which I'm a little

14:09

bummed about Well,

14:11

I'm a very odd question, but it's tight

14:13

to sleep. I had a

14:16

I had a weird dream Recently

14:18

that involved Eric Eric was part of

14:20

the dream And I

14:22

was it a come dream. I Not

14:25

doing British Jackal says no more come on.

14:27

Okay, go ahead and don't say the word

14:32

My dream you was What

14:35

do you mean what word Eric is going

14:37

you're fine. Ignore Jeff what we're No,

14:40

keep going Eric said come on.

14:42

So let's come on. Okay I'm

14:46

jacking my 1.1 Andrew

14:49

Andrew, please come on. I

14:52

was dreaming that I I ended up

14:54

Somehow back in 2015 and I was

14:56

trying to get back home I

14:59

was in the states was in a different state

15:01

But I didn't know which state and I

15:03

was in 2015 and I

15:05

encountered Eric at a mall And

15:08

I remembered that we had all agreed

15:10

to have a code word to indicate if

15:12

any of us had ever gone back in

15:14

time But then I couldn't

15:16

remember the code word and then I realized

15:18

it also hasn't happened in this timeline yet.

15:21

So it's a useless code word But

15:24

I was trying to convince Eric that we

15:26

actually were friends and work together in the

15:28

future and he was having none of it

15:30

It was not a convincing Conversation

15:33

with him. Did he not know who you are in

15:35

2015? Had no idea

15:37

and also still don't really know what

15:39

he looks like. So You

15:42

know Like none of this is gonna

15:44

help. I knew what Eric looks like but

15:46

I There's actually

15:48

a certain not concerned about it going

15:50

that way. It's just sort of the

15:52

reciprocation There's a funny story of Jeff

15:54

explaining the chicken dinner challenge on an

15:56

episode of sports ball that Eric is

15:58

on and Eric has I have no idea who

16:00

I am. It's funny to

16:02

watch none in this context. But

16:05

my question is, is there any

16:08

thing a person could say that could

16:10

convince you that they were a time

16:12

traveler? Yeah. They just approached you. Interesting.

16:16

And also, can I just say really

16:18

weirdly, it just kind of

16:21

freaked me out. When you were relaying your dream just

16:23

now, I got so much deja vu,

16:25

it felt so familiar, like I've had a very,

16:27

like maybe not the same dream, but a very

16:29

similar dream. It really creeped me out for a

16:31

second. Oh. That

16:33

was really weird. So you're saying we can only have a code

16:36

word for if we go back in

16:38

time to after this point? Yeah.

16:40

Like a code word would only work through

16:42

that point. And I was before that

16:44

point. So we need to settle on the code word?

16:47

Well I think, I was just curious if we

16:49

had something, and I'd assume it would have to

16:52

be from your childhood, like a word or like

16:54

a phrase that would be like, oh wow. Oklahoma

16:56

person. Now, it's got to

16:58

be more Rattlesnake shampoo. It's

17:02

got to be something that doesn't make any sense. Apocalypse

17:08

Hoboken. I like that. I

17:11

mean, it would be British Jackal, but I feel

17:13

like we've said so many times that we can't

17:16

be British Jackal. Well,

17:18

also Gracie's assumed the identity now too.

17:20

It's true. Yeah. The

17:23

problem would be I'd say British Jackal and then

17:25

nine years later, Eric would be like, that guy,

17:27

that guy in the mall was. Oh

17:29

my god. What the fuck? At the mall. The

17:32

British Jackal. Speaking

17:35

of the mall, you

17:38

remember a while back, I

17:40

came up with the idea for us to do that mall game. And we

17:42

were just like, we were starting to get into a bit of a mall

17:44

era. I feel like we put our

17:46

toes in it, but we never fully dove in yet.

17:50

I say yet because the future is obviously unwritten.

17:53

One of the ideas I had when bouncing around was

17:55

that we could all get mall jobs for a month

17:57

or so and just and then hang out. and

18:00

take our breaks together and stuff? Well,

18:03

my calendar just cleared up. I was

18:06

thinking, what's the stop-and-fall from

18:08

working at the mall now? We really could. I

18:10

wanted to live in a mall. I

18:12

wanted to find a place where

18:15

you could live. Because

18:17

there's restrictions in most states and

18:20

or provinces for zoning laws.

18:23

I'd love to find one where it would be legal to live

18:25

in a mall, just rent out a

18:27

mall space. There have been a lot of those stories

18:29

on Reddit lately where I read two

18:31

different ones. One where this group of friends

18:33

built an apartment on top

18:36

of a parking garage for years. They

18:38

got away with it in Philadelphia or somewhere. And

18:41

then the other one was this dude. I think he

18:43

was a criminal. He ended up going to jail for

18:45

stuff. But he built an apartment

18:47

behind a stairwell in a mall and

18:50

lived there for a couple years and

18:52

would come out at night and fuck around and then

18:54

go back in in the daytime. Got away with it

18:56

for years. Yeah, I've heard of people living in fully

18:59

boxed off rooms between rooms at the mall.

19:02

Yeah. There's just no doors to them.

19:04

You have to cut your way in. You have like eight malls in

19:06

a row, right Andrew? So you got to take your pick. Oh

19:08

yeah, they're in a line. Um,

19:12

I could do that like a low stakes

19:14

inside man. I'm just between

19:16

a subway and

19:18

a Japanese fast food place

19:21

in the food court. I

19:23

could do that. Why is Jeff living

19:25

the wall? I like Edo

19:27

Japan for Canada. Like the

19:29

mall Japanese place. Oh

19:31

yeah. We used to have a place called Zen

19:34

that advertised itself as Japanese fast food on South

19:36

Congress. It was okay. It was like

19:39

bull. I feel like every mall cafeteria has that Asian

19:42

place in it. I feel like that's part of the experience.

19:46

Man, when I was at our mall the other day walking

19:48

around, which by the way, still

19:50

back, still kicking it, really looking

19:53

forward to us all working there soon. Um,

19:56

I saw that there's a new Philly cheesesteak place in our mall. I

19:58

don't remember what it was called, but I got pretty excited. excited

20:00

about it. Do you think you want to eat

20:02

there or work there? Both? Why

20:05

not? No, I feel like I

20:07

would work at like the Hallmark store. That seems

20:09

like my speed. Do you think you would struggle

20:11

with a food service job

20:13

in the same way that you did in the past? Yeah,

20:16

I would have a real problem with it. I

20:18

worked fast food in high school. I was

20:21

a dishwasher at a fried, at Sydney's Fried

20:23

Chicken, right? Sure, I've talked about that a

20:25

million times, but I got promoted to front

20:28

of house where I could take orders and

20:30

then I got demoted. I did

20:32

that three times in the year

20:34

and a half I worked there because every

20:36

time I'd get promoted, I would

20:39

make the customers uncomfortable. So

20:41

they would make me go back and watch dishes. And I

20:43

was like the... You were crazy that

20:45

way, but what were you actually doing? What was making

20:47

them uncomfortable? I was just fucking with

20:49

them. I was just having fun. I was just

20:51

being me at 17. But

20:54

it kept being like, yeah,

20:56

the customers aren't getting it. You can't do it anymore. You

20:59

got to go back. I would argue with

21:01

them or I'd fuck with them or I don't know. I

21:03

would just be me. And it

21:06

was too awkward to the people that are trying

21:08

to buy fried chicken. And so

21:10

every time they would give me like a week

21:12

and they'd go, yeah, you're still back. I was

21:14

the lowest man on the totem pole for a

21:17

year and a half. I got three of my

21:19

friends hired at that fast food restaurant. They all

21:21

went on to be paid more and have more

21:23

responsibility than I did the entire time I was

21:25

voting. They ended up just doing

21:28

you. Yeah, I was like permanently

21:30

bottom rung at that fast. I'd still be

21:32

washing dishes at that fast food restaurant today

21:35

if I was trying to climb that ladder. I'd

21:38

say the bottom rung is the coolest. It's

21:40

always the one that the hero is hanging off in the

21:43

end of the movie. What

21:50

do you think your biggest childhood

21:52

disappointment was? Like something like an ad you

21:54

saw on TV and then you tried it

21:57

and it was just gack. I've

21:59

got mine. I think I have

22:01

one. I'm

22:04

thinking, when you guys go ahead of me. Gaff?

22:07

Sunny delight. A sunny day I guess. I

22:10

remember thinking those ads were so cool. I remember when it

22:13

came to the UK everything was like so

22:16

cool and sunny and basketball and

22:18

shit and it looked delicious. I

22:21

had some it just tastes like war.

22:24

Like orangey thin war rank. Mine's

22:27

not a product. It's a movie. But

22:30

they sold me an idea that was

22:32

turned out to be utter bullshit. And

22:35

for me it was there was this movie that came out

22:37

when I was a real young kid called The Explorers. I

22:39

don't know if y'all ever saw it or remember it. It

22:42

had River Phoenix in it. And it was

22:44

about a bunch of kids my exact age because we were about

22:46

the same age and in

22:48

their backyard they kept getting ideas or like

22:51

dreams or something about building a spaceship and

22:53

so out of it like a trash can

22:55

and a bunch of garbage around their neighborhood

22:57

they built a spaceship that worked and went

22:59

to space. And

23:01

I thought I will I will

23:03

be able to do this in my lifetime and

23:06

I figured out really quickly that that was a

23:08

complete nutter bullshit and trash cans are just trash

23:10

cans and I was so fucking that was like

23:12

one of those moments in my life where I

23:14

went like you get a dose of reality and

23:16

you realize the world isn't magic. I

23:19

got mine and I was

23:21

a kid. This is all within. This

23:23

is me being persuaded by advertising and

23:26

then being greatly disappointed at it is what it

23:28

was. You found out the house hippo

23:30

wasn't real? The house

23:32

hippo was not first of all it is real. How

23:34

dare you? Second of all no. And as if anything

23:37

this would be a house hippo delight. I am

23:40

not a big cheese person just because growing

23:42

up milk allergy and whatnot. But

23:45

I would see ads for cheese strings all

23:47

the time and I'd see

23:49

kids eating them in fun ways. And

23:52

I was convinced at one

23:54

point that these were fucking awesome. Oh,

23:56

I remember I've seen the cover for these floors. I

23:58

didn't know it's interesting. She

24:00

look at how cool that she looks He's

24:06

got wacky hair He

24:08

looks fucking awesome. Yeah, and

24:11

then I got one finally and I did the

24:13

wacky hair thing But then you keep pulling and

24:15

eventually you just got a whole bunch of strands

24:17

of cheese and it really loses its appeal And

24:19

it's also for me not something I really eat.

24:21

It's cool cheese strings though Yeah No It is

24:24

what it is, but I was convinced by the

24:26

marketing that it was a lot cooler and have

24:28

a lot more fun with it Then I did

24:31

I just noticed that no E at the end of

24:33

cheese because it has to spell strings and that's really

24:35

pissing me off Yeah, I

24:38

agree But

24:43

I guess I see the strings wouldn't look

24:45

that good my wife and my kid eat

24:47

those things all day long I can't I

24:49

like cheese, but I can't eat it in

24:51

that format Just I can't I

24:53

was never into them and people who eat them

24:56

all cheesy string like you see their tongue a

24:58

lot Is there like yeah dangle it down the

25:00

mouth hole? It's like trying to give a it's

25:02

like trying to give a cheese Stick a blowjob

25:04

all day long. I don't get it Did

25:09

they ever do like a soft cheese interior Oh Like

25:13

what's that like three on the inside

25:15

or reklette? Oh, yeah, like really Straight,

25:18

I guess it's all stringy It

25:22

is all stringy sort of a point you

25:25

like hollow it out and fill it with ricotta and then close I

25:32

Gracie said has his Heelys or moon shoes

25:34

what moon shoes again? Oh They

25:36

were like the shoes that were supposed to make you

25:38

bounce like twice as high But they

25:40

were when they just didn't clunkers. No They

25:44

were loud And

25:46

I think you probably jumped less

25:48

high with them. Yeah those those Yeah,

25:51

those look awesome They didn't work.

25:53

Let's know like I remember in my

25:55

garage. I would be banging around in there and

25:58

nothing worked I Kind

26:04

of want to test it. I'll kind of see if you can yeah,

26:06

I want to get some moon shoes now. No you don't They're

26:09

terrible. Well now I definitely right.

26:12

Oh, you're not good Well while I

26:14

still have the card off. I'll buy them Okay,

26:17

thank you. Okay. Use our cards a

26:19

pair for each of us. I'm gonna until it's taken away

26:22

Yeah, get a couple of we'll get a couple of moon shoes for us.

26:24

That'd be good. Yeah, I'll get everyone up here Yeah But

26:27

for real for content. Why

26:30

not? Yeah What

26:33

are they uh Take

26:35

our moon boots. I don't know I Think

26:38

so Along

26:41

the way hard, but we'll still have our boots that

26:46

President I could get behind. Yeah,

26:48

Gracie. I like the idea Good

26:51

platform shoes going through the company though and

26:53

being like bar coded as It's

26:58

easier to ask for forgiveness than moon shoe

27:00

permission Exactly. It's

27:02

like that scene in movies where a character goes bankrupt

27:04

and the movers are like moving the things in their

27:06

office while They're standing there but with like shoes. I

27:10

Always I always visualize out of

27:12

the sound with diving onto the couch and happy Gilores. They're

27:14

taking it away I Take

27:18

it away his grandmother's shit, you

27:20

know, you know who was taking that catch away. That was

27:22

Will Sasso. Oh It

27:25

was wasn't it? Yeah, and then they they

27:27

watch him drive the board to the house

27:29

opposite. Yeah The

27:31

fucking the only dude we ever tried

27:33

to pay money for As

27:36

a she-mother didn't want anything to do with us. You

27:38

remember that we tried to contact his agent when we

27:40

did the first Really live. Yeah, we

27:42

did the first let's play live at the what

27:45

is the Man's Chinese theater

27:47

called now Gromins theater. It's not even

27:49

that it's uh, I mean why did what

27:51

we what? What are they just where they do the

27:53

Academy Awards? What is that place called? Anybody

27:57

Dolby theater don't be fair. Yeah, we

28:01

We did that show there live, right? And

28:04

we wanted to have Will Sasso

28:06

come out and do his Dibby

28:08

Brothers bit singing in the shower. We

28:11

wanted to just have him do that, which

28:14

was a big thing in Achievement Hunter than singing that

28:16

song. You know, the, we're back

28:18

in, we're back in, we're back in.

28:20

And we would always fucking, we would

28:22

just brutalize it over and over and

28:24

over in videos singing it. And

28:27

lampooning him, lampooning it. And

28:30

yeah, we got to his manager, I

28:33

think, and pitched him and had money and

28:35

everything. And he was like, nah, no, thank

28:37

you. It's

28:39

two minutes of work. And he's like, I

28:42

mean, no way we had enough money for him to go.

28:44

Probably not. We had a little bit of money, not

28:46

a lot of money. That was probably my

28:49

favorite vine. Yeah,

28:51

me too. That's the only, might be the only

28:53

vine I liked. He also has an

28:55

appearance in the 1996 Doctor Who movie. Where

29:00

the doctor dies, and he's working

29:02

at the hospital, and then he regenerates and come

29:05

back to life. The

29:08

doctor in Doctor Who has had so many

29:10

different deaths. Like he's been killed

29:13

by electricity or something in space. In

29:15

the movie, the doctor

29:17

lands the TARDIS in LA and gets gunned

29:20

down by some guy in an alley. It's

29:22

like so out of place. He just gets

29:24

shot with an oozy. And then

29:27

Will Sasso watches him come back to life. That's

29:30

fantastic. But I just like the first

29:32

thing that he does in the USA is get

29:34

shot to death. Ha ha

29:36

ha ha ha ha. See, a

29:38

quintessential American experience. I

29:41

recently watched, I've been watching D-coms because they're

29:43

just things I missed growing up, a lot

29:46

of them. And I watched You

29:48

Lucky Dog, which has one of

29:50

those, they go bankrupt and they're taking a whole

29:52

thing. This is You Lucky Dog, per Cameron movie,

29:55

1998, I want to say. It's

29:59

really bad. It's about a guy that

30:02

can like talk to his dog

30:04

telepathically as a teenager and

30:06

so he's a dog therapist But he lost

30:08

the ability so he's just conning people But

30:11

then he meets a million like a

30:13

billionaire type figure And he reconnects

30:15

with that dog and then that guy dies

30:17

and he inherits all of his money because

30:19

I guess the dog gets it But

30:22

a highlight is they tried to do

30:24

like they show flashbacks of him as a

30:26

high school like teenager And

30:29

they did not try hard to make him look

30:31

like a high school teenager That

30:33

is that is their attempt at Kirk

30:35

Cameron who's very clearly in his late

30:37

20s trying to be like 12 There's

30:40

all much needs Highly

30:43

recommend it though great ending one

30:45

of the worst endings to any

30:47

movie I've seen It

30:50

has the dad from Fresh Prince in it. He's

30:52

great But spoil it.

30:54

It's a whole court the final act of the movie

30:57

Them trying to prove that he's not psychotic and

30:59

that he can actually talk to this dog and

31:02

he mimics the dog and Then

31:04

he realizes that the dog witnessed the

31:06

villains poisoning the guy and murdering him

31:08

And then he's like I see what

31:10

you did and the dude pulls out

31:12

a fucking gun. It's a shootout. It's

31:14

dumb It's a really dumb movie, but

31:16

just when we're talking about Move

31:19

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31:21

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31:27

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31:30

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31:32

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34:00

You son of a bitch. You son of

34:02

a bitch. Sucks you into a great movie, right?

34:04

Well, no, I couldn't see it. But

34:06

I went through a lot of effort to try. I looked

34:09

it up. In Canada,

34:11

it was only apparently available on a

34:14

platform called like YouDo or

34:16

something like that. Fluboo? Flubo?

34:20

Fuboo do? Nah,

34:24

it's a thing where you need a library card. Fubo

34:27

do you need? No, I don't think it was

34:29

Fubo. I think it was like Voodoo. Okay.

34:33

Like V-U-D-U. Like V-D-U. Anyway.

34:36

Anyway, you go onto the site and

34:38

I went to register and it said

34:40

you need your library card. And I went, oh fuck,

34:42

I don't have a library card. I guess

34:44

I'll have to sign up for one. And then

34:46

my local library didn't have one, so I had

34:48

to lie about which library I'm local

34:50

to. And I got

34:52

a temporary online card and I had

34:55

to go through like several levels of

34:57

verification. And then I submitted everything and it

34:59

said, ah, you gotta put your birthday in. And

35:02

so I did that and then the button

35:04

that was lit up was clear all info,

35:06

which deleted everything. And I had to do

35:08

it again. It was a whole

35:10

fucking process. And then I

35:13

finally get there and I tried to rent it and

35:15

it just said, not available.

35:19

Sorry, but no copies

35:21

of this digital works are there.

35:23

So it's just lying to me.

35:26

Do they have like a finite amount of

35:28

digital rentals? I don't know. So

35:31

I tried renting a different film and it said

35:33

that, and that reminds me, I need to watch

35:35

it, I guess, by tomorrow. It

35:37

expires Thursday night and it returns

35:40

itself. So I don't know

35:42

if they were out of copies or if they

35:44

just never had copies or why it's there, but

35:46

I tried. They're clearly

35:48

out of copies because my talking about it

35:50

has created a run on the woman with

35:52

the red lipstick globally and everybody's getting in

35:54

line to watch it. I'm

35:56

sure you mentioned it at the time, but

35:59

it's based on it. true story? That's

36:02

what they said in the opening credits. I

36:05

don't know how true that is. I

36:07

would love to see it. I

36:09

thought Picnic and Hanging Rock, which is one of my favorite

36:11

movies of all time, Australian film from the Peter Weir

36:13

movie from the late 70s, early 80s. If

36:16

you've never seen it, you should absolutely watch it. It

36:18

begins by saying this is based on a true story and I

36:20

spent my entire life thinking it was a true story and then

36:22

I read like four years ago. Yeah, no, we just put that

36:24

in because we thought it'd make it look cool.

36:27

So I don't buy based on a true story

36:29

anytime. What's that? They

36:32

Fargo to you. They far good me. Yeah, that's

36:34

the only one I could think of where they did that. Was

36:38

it Fargo based on a true story? I mean, it was based

36:40

on the, oh no, I'm thinking of

36:42

the movie that the Zoner brothers made that

36:45

was based on the Wukumiko that was based

36:47

on the woman who sought Farg the Fargo

36:50

was a true story. Yeah. Yes. You

36:52

just Amelia air hearted yourself. I

36:55

love Fisher in the

36:57

one. Yes. Um,

37:01

I hope you get to see it though. It's a really

37:03

great movie. Yeah, I'm trying. It's tough. It's

37:05

only available one place I'd rental, but

37:09

it's not even streaming in Canada yet. It

37:11

was the worst comes to worst. I can stream

37:13

it here and FaceTime you. Oh, that's

37:16

a great idea. My phone. What have anybody's ever

37:18

done that? Oh, definitely. A

37:20

hundred percent. I've seen my favorite. One

37:22

of those was the guy that was

37:24

illegally Twitch streaming a UFC event, but

37:27

just holding a controller, pretending that

37:29

he was playing the UFC game. It's so

37:31

blatantly not that it's so funny. What? Kirk

37:42

Cameron though, right? Kirk

37:44

Cameron. When I was a kid,

37:46

I'm a little older than y'all. You might not remember

37:48

this, but when I was a kid, Kirk Cameron was

37:51

like the coolest kid. He

37:54

was like, he was TV famous. He was the,

37:56

like, he was the cool teenage guy that, you

37:58

know, we all looked. Like looked up to

38:00

as in the right word, but he was like the cool guy on

38:02

TV that everybody wanted to be like And then he

38:05

like he went like super Christian. I think Yes,

38:07

it's weird cuz he was like he was like

38:11

teen heartthrob everybody loved

38:13

him height of fame and then it's one of those things

38:15

where you just like He that

38:17

show disappeared and he never

38:20

translated into the next thing and then

38:22

they just wasn't anymore What

38:24

are you laughing at? This is a picture that He

38:37

was an Oz I think Kurt Cameron and he

38:39

played like a priest in that or maybe a

38:41

mistaking No, you might be you

38:43

might be right He had that

38:45

movie right there the you lucky doglin and then I

38:47

remember when that came out And then he also had

38:50

one with I want to say Dudley Moore Where

38:53

it was like freaky Friday, but with

38:55

people Not

38:57

the dog Dudley more Kirk

38:59

Cameron was Kirk Cameron not an

39:02

Oz like father like son Yeah,

39:04

I don't think Kirk Cameron's enough like father

39:06

like son where Dudley Moore and Kirk Cameron

39:09

switched roles and then Kirk

39:12

Cameron talked to a dog in Maybe

39:14

it was the roles he was getting after Who

39:20

the fuck was the priest in Oz Why

39:23

did you know who anyone is today? I don't

39:25

know Jeremiah clute

39:27

who is he Lou Perry?

39:30

It was Lou Perry wasn't

39:32

fuck They're

39:36

kind of the same Don't

39:39

try to justify it Jesus random thing already sunk

39:41

you this is this is just another nail in

39:43

your coffin, but Another

39:45

name I will get wrong in my coffin I

39:50

Have similar energy I'm

39:52

I don't feel bad about that one. Do

39:55

you think they have similar energy? I Mean

39:58

they look kind of the same They're both

40:00

hearts are on. This is such

40:02

a song and dance. Uh, Gavin,

40:05

Gavin, can I rewind a little bit

40:07

to you? You

40:09

started, you started talking about nightmares

40:12

and then your computer fucked up. What

40:14

were you talking about? What was up

40:16

with the nightmares? Oh, one

40:18

of them, some woman was chasing me down

40:21

a dark street, but for some reason I

40:23

couldn't shift cucumbers. No,

40:25

it wasn't a, but I couldn't turn around.

40:27

I could only run backwards and then I couldn't even look around

40:29

and I was like, Oh, I'm going to run into

40:32

something. And she was gaining on me and,

40:34

uh, she got real close. Like, I woke

40:37

up. You didn't, you scared, you were

40:39

going to have to kick her. Was she small? No,

40:44

she was kind of attractive too. I don't really know why I was

40:46

so scared. No, I just

40:48

remember I just had to get out of there. She

40:51

wearing open footage shoes. Was

40:56

she menacing to you? Like, did you feel

40:58

like you were in danger physically? Yeah,

41:01

I think she'd been like hunting me

41:03

for most of the dream. Then

41:05

she found me. Huh.

41:09

I'm surprised it wakes you. What you got woken

41:11

up every time. It's very rare that

41:13

a nightmare will wake me up. And

41:15

then see, and you woke up and you immediately had a

41:18

full bladder and had to pee and then Dan, I've

41:20

done a lot of dream interpretation and I don't

41:22

want to get into it too deeply, but, uh,

41:24

you're fucked. Pretty good. It'd be, yeah, that's

41:26

not good. You're sweating a lot.

41:29

And then your body was absorbing that

41:31

liquid and then refilling the bladder.

41:34

I don't know. I have been really hot in the night. Oh

41:37

no, that too sounds like I'm right. Sounds

41:40

like I nailed it. I woke up the other

41:43

day and I took the ugliest picture of myself because

41:45

I realized my sleep mask could slip down

41:47

my face. And when I pulled it back

41:49

off, it pushed all of my, it pushed

41:53

all of my pistachio up my nose. Imagine

42:03

what his asshole looked like when

42:05

it got waxed. It looks like

42:07

you're just breathing, you're breathing beer.

42:10

It looks like I've got severe

42:12

nose hair problem. That doesn't

42:15

make you create, like you don't trim

42:17

the length of your mustache

42:19

part. Like I can't

42:21

stand that. What do you mean? If a mustache hair

42:23

like tickles my nose, I like cut it. I

42:27

have to keep it short.

42:29

Well that wouldn't be anything on my lip. Like

42:31

if I push up on all that hair, of

42:33

course it's going to go in my nose. Wouldn't

42:35

it for anyone? No. I

42:37

mean there's some smaller noses out there I guess. Yeah

42:40

I'll be honest, I'm having trouble getting the hair

42:42

up to the... Right, I need

42:44

to. You can't just like push from your

42:46

lip, just push it into your nostrils. Not

42:48

in a way that it would come even

42:50

close to staying. Not like that. No. Wow.

42:53

No. I think it's a you thing. It

42:58

looks like a spigot somebody turned on and it's

43:00

hair coming out instead of water. It

43:02

looks like it's dispensing my beard. Yeah.

43:08

It's a horror show. Gracie

43:10

says that is so disgusting. It is. You

43:16

look like a generating... And

43:18

this is coming from the British jackal who sent

43:20

us that tub photo. But

43:22

that is like 99% just

43:24

my normal face, Gracie. Your nose looks

43:27

like it's generating the walkie-talkie man video.

43:31

Yeah it is your normal face but you don't normally

43:33

have that faucet of hair going. Okay

43:38

Gavin, how long does it take for you to fill a

43:40

beard with that nostril flow? I got

43:42

a four minute face. You got a four minute

43:44

face? You got a four minute beard. Do

43:47

you have a lot of nightmares, Gavin, or is this a new

43:49

thing? It's pretty new. Do

43:51

you often remember them when you have them?

43:54

Yes, they wake me up. I feel like they typically do

43:57

wake me up because it's always as I'm getting pounced on

43:59

or murdered. What? You say

44:01

not sure that you to sit there and get bird

44:03

is a don't have enough. Headroom.

44:06

it is dream. His ankle hurts. Insane

44:09

hours. A day go

44:11

your as I typically just reset the

44:13

dream. after that happens. I.

44:16

Don't have any. Maybe because there's people say if

44:18

you die in a dream you don't realize maybe

44:20

you're just for it. May be that you dies

44:23

in the dream is is just go fast timeline.

44:26

Maybe. That. Might be

44:28

the best people's ever heard people say.

44:30

If you die than. They

44:33

do. What people? The

44:36

people that say those things. I've heard if

44:38

you die in the game, you die for Real. Have

44:40

heard that too was they haven't heard is dying.

44:42

the dream. Market Will Bear Was ready

44:45

for her in Iraq. New right as I was,

44:47

so it made sense. If you die in the

44:49

Matrix you died in your chair Plugged into the

44:51

Matrix by I never understood how he got like

44:53

a bloody with. People

44:55

he bumps on Sultan. Thrashing

44:59

around. Maybe. Been

45:01

it. Because. But it

45:03

I guess. There. Is easy as footage

45:05

of when they shut down The Matrix

45:07

Mm out. What? Happened with

45:09

all the people. Now may

45:11

I run? I remember that. Miles of

45:14

an aim? Yeah! Yeah. View

45:16

There's a great clip of when they sit

45:18

down the servers they had everybody die within

45:20

the universe and they like fooled into. Themselves.

45:24

They. Like crumble. They like the village ball

45:26

up. Treadmill. But a lot of

45:29

a bunch of people Kiwi over? yes. If.

45:31

It is like they're didn't buy their own ass holes

45:33

kind of thing. Pussies I can find. On

45:36

you tube. I've gotta hang on. Who.

45:38

It's insane. It is very disturbing that

45:41

should be time stamped as well that

45:43

he four seconds and a hit play

45:45

look at and play some of our

45:47

lord that is how have spent how

45:49

that game ended. On everyone

45:51

had forced into that this loss.

45:53

oh. Was that and and

45:55

they made it to do that or that says how

45:57

it happened. That's how they i think program I. And

46:00

was intentional. And one

46:02

of the exclamation points for those people still live. No,

46:06

no, just twisted and. To.

46:08

Her I can does that even in the Matrix right?

46:10

Like does Not a thing that happens in any of

46:12

those movies are now another those boat they they turn

46:14

those people in a pretzels. The Matrix games

46:17

did some weird shit. Ignorant.

46:20

My me of the Sims when people go in a fight.

46:23

Yeah. Like delete the cloud that was covering them

46:25

and they would call it whether. I. Seem

46:27

like it's who. People still alive stand there

46:29

looking. another dead friends. I

46:31

think it's the past the Neo game. Or

46:34

when you get to the last boss fight.

46:37

It just stops the site and a

46:39

blue and pink you come out representing

46:41

the would south east and they just

46:43

say to you yeah this is not

46:45

at all how the stories gonna go

46:48

in the movie but the movie ending

46:50

would be boring for a game. so

46:52

we've just design this fight for the

46:54

game specifically. They. Explain the narrative

46:56

of it and then they resume you

46:58

back into the Matrix. Very. Weird.

47:03

The Matrix those unpredictable outside of movie

47:05

stuff. That you fight a

47:07

giant. A. Giant Agent Smith

47:09

made out of the buildings and

47:11

cars and stuff. It's

47:14

so dumb and I think it's right that

47:16

they just went onto a fuck about that

47:18

as a matter. Of I

47:20

ranked as it tom it is a go well as

47:22

a game with. Ah, we roll around

47:24

a ball and pick stuff up. Cat.

47:27

Kind of on our have kind of. I'd

47:29

say that ah have to like a category

47:31

agent smith. It's

47:34

yeah. such delays. Ah, That's.

47:37

What They interpret it as what video game people

47:39

would want. And I think that a

47:41

great A. As I say we're honest about it. And.

47:43

Then. It's the only game that

47:45

I've ever played where they stop the game to

47:48

explain to you wire about the do the saying

47:50

like in a in a way of of talking

47:52

to use the player. Or those

47:54

and soccer began yourself. You also

47:56

fight giant fire ants. Yeah,

47:59

it's not like a good. It's just sort of like

48:01

they went yeah, this is fucking stupid. Let's just do

48:03

this I feel like this is a game Eric remembers

48:05

very well No I just remember

48:07

it's stuff like that and like the fight club

48:09

video game where you can be like Fred Durst

48:11

and a blinking and stuff Like you know it

48:13

like just weird video game shit is a lot

48:16

of fun. What was the matrix game where you

48:18

played is like? Ghost

48:20

and Niobe and there was like a hacking thing It

48:24

was like a parallel to the

48:26

second revolution so I want to say

48:28

or revolution That was

48:31

a third movie. It's something. I was a

48:33

Assassin's Creed game revolution revelations

48:37

Are you are you thinking about it in Screed maybe

48:39

and were you wearing a tape matrix? Into

48:43

the matrix yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember liking

48:45

that yeah, it's just all bullet time.

48:48

Yeah Yeah, exactly which is cool. You know it's

48:50

all the cool things But it also they like

48:52

shot they shot stuff for it at the same

48:54

time. They shot the movie which must have been so expensive Maybe

48:59

someday if we ever are

49:01

in a company that plays video games We could go

49:03

back and visit those games and run through them. I

49:06

have zero memory of that They're great

49:08

games. You play it. I probably did at that

49:10

time It was like there were so

49:12

many video games And we had access to so many

49:14

video games and you're playing everything for like an hour

49:16

back in those days I feel like I

49:18

just a lot of stuff didn't stick with me because we're

49:20

burning through so much shit Uh

49:24

I don't know that this is a super rich vein

49:27

to tap here as we're getting kind of like close

49:29

to time and everything But Gracie said that she's never

49:31

had deja vu, and it pisses

49:33

her off What you've

49:35

never had a job ooh? No,

49:38

never it is not alive actually

49:40

drives me crazy. I don't I Looked

49:47

up why some people don't have it And

49:50

it says that my brain is actually functioning

49:52

more normally than everyone else's for a longer. Yeah.

49:55

Yeah Yeah, yeah, do you know the shared common

49:57

experience that we all have that you don't yeah?

49:59

Yeah, you're right More male than us

50:01

the by any chance have difficulty

50:03

with captures. Now

50:06

for Your roboticists. Ssds.

50:10

What is the youngest that he once had? Days of

50:12

you. I mean,

50:14

I had it as a kid. Yeah, I

50:17

remember and I remember having it at like

50:19

nine years olds and thinking it was like

50:21

the craziest feeling in the world. Like

50:24

I don't even I I don't even know what the

50:26

feeling as everyone tries to describe it to me. And

50:29

I I can't wrap my mind around with this, has

50:31

never had it. Maybe you do have a bit of

50:33

feels differently to you and you just don't recognize it

50:35

as that. You think it's something else would you like.

50:38

I'm hungry again but it's really does have you. Are

50:40

you know when we never figured out. How

50:44

Long Graces tub sells for? Oh yeah, yeah

50:46

yeah yeah, we should do that. Oh

50:48

that's your call as he's an

50:50

Iowan trying to do said ah

50:53

ha ha ha ha ha by

50:55

I see that's what it was

50:57

real Us sees definitely a robot.

51:00

Or that is the most normal one of us all say.

51:02

you were supposed to. See

51:05

as the bridge exactly where to send her.

51:09

On the it's. It's you're something mad

51:11

about it. Assess. It's like everybody

51:13

started and photos of their hair

51:15

gone up their nose to the.

51:20

We've known as Can Do That. It

51:23

can't be true. I

51:26

just sold you. Specifically, I trim my

51:29

moustache so it doesn't do that either.

51:31

That's why you trim it. Yes,

51:34

I've never had that happen to my life or

51:36

that like a hair go up my nose one

51:38

time and it tickles your. go get rid of

51:40

that but I've never had a problem. Where.

51:42

All my hair's get sucked up into

51:45

my note nostrils and then stayed there.

51:47

Long. Enough! Oh my. That's never happened before, just

51:49

I just happened to push it up there by

51:51

accident with them. I mosque. I.

51:54

Can't push my up like. I'd

51:57

much rather be on your side window. Tracy

52:00

had to leave early and she said, okay, I have

52:02

to leave don't talk about cum I

52:05

don't know how we have to I mean that's Yeah,

52:09

oh shit guys. Uh, it's

52:11

raining. Oh Yeah, there's supposed

52:13

to be there's thunderstorms coming for like the next

52:15

like two hours Yeah, I just I just heard

52:17

one roll through if you hear your dog afraid

52:20

of thunder or not. I don't

52:22

think so My dog thing my dog gives a shit. My

52:24

dog's pretty pretty chill Would

52:26

you rather rain syrup or cum? Dude

52:31

syrup, I love syrup. Hang on.

52:34

Hang on. Hang on Gavin Gavin

52:39

make your choice syrup will

52:41

come Yeah

52:46

What do you mean? Well, I think

52:48

it's gonna rain you're already fucked Gavin. It took way

52:50

too long for you to answer The answer was quick

52:52

and easy Sir for

52:54

color syrup, right? No, no, no, it's too late.

52:56

Yeah. No, you like Right,

52:59

right. What do you mean, right?

53:05

What do you have your pancakes, oh

53:07

you don't want to know Cloudy

53:17

with With

53:23

a chance of my balls Raindrops

53:30

keep falling on my head We've

53:39

got pay The

53:49

next line is coming down Oh my

53:53

god, yeah, we

53:55

need it. Yeah, great. He has to be here all the time

53:57

more often cuz this is not good I

54:02

still can't go over that picture. That's the weirdest choice.

54:06

We should talk about it some more.

54:08

Why did she do that? There was

54:10

an easy way to do this whole

54:12

thing. There's an easy way to do

54:14

this whole thing. It's the weirdest photo.

54:17

Why is she so troubled? It's like

54:19

aggressively troubled. I

54:24

want to put it on a shirt, but we

54:26

don't. We can't. We don't have... We can't. There's

54:28

no shirt to put it on. Because by the time this

54:31

is all out and done or whatever, we

54:33

can't do this. There's nothing. There's no shop

54:35

to put it in. Here's

54:37

what we do. When we start the new

54:40

thing, at some point, there'll be merch, right?

54:43

We'll tailor Swift this photo. I

54:48

think we got to put the British

54:50

Jackal in the regulation vault. Oh,

54:53

yeah, absolutely. 100%. It's got to get locked. I

54:56

mean, we've turned around some print on

54:58

demands pretty fast. Yeah, but

55:00

the last... But the... I think that the...

55:02

Like our last sale at the time

55:05

of the recording... Oh,

55:09

it's the 27th. The 29th

55:12

is our last sale ever, and they're

55:14

shutting down... I think they're fire sailing

55:16

everything on the 1st. I think

55:19

April 1st, they're stopping print on demand stuff.

55:21

Yeah, yeah. So by the time

55:23

this is out, which will be, what, two weeks?

55:25

Like that April 10th or whatever when this comes

55:27

out? You know? Like it'll be long

55:29

done. Sorry. What happened to all them clocks? I

55:33

think they got put back in the store and then bought

55:35

by other people. I got about 600 of them propping up

55:37

the left side of my house right now. Okay,

55:44

remember that line, Jeff, and then say it next time

55:46

you see Nick in person. That

55:49

was a good one. That got a

55:51

good reaction. All

55:57

right. Everybody excited about it?

56:00

I'm gonna date this recording, but is everybody excited

56:02

about the baseball season starting tomorrow? Yeah,

56:06

baseball season starting tomorrow Interesting

56:09

response from Nick. Uh, yeah. Yeah

56:11

opening this opening day is tomorrow. The Phillies

56:13

game was already delayed Jeff Was

56:15

it really? Why? Yeah, the

56:18

every team was supposed to play tomorrow It

56:21

was gonna be like what a big kickoff for pay. Yeah,

56:23

and they had to delay some games. Yep For

56:26

whether or what? I think so. I

56:28

think so. Yeah What

56:30

was on the weather report? You don't

56:32

want to know it's coming down.

56:35

It's They

56:38

don't look up oh My

56:44

god trying to catch a

56:46

coming with my tongue Well,

56:51

I'm gonna be making hot dogs

56:53

and watching baseball the American pastime

56:55

I Brought

56:58

us the likes of Pedro Martinez and Don

57:00

Zimmer I'm gonna

57:03

continue in the pastiche the rich

57:05

tradition of the all-american

57:07

sport of baseball hot

57:10

dogs and Cracker Jacks the

57:12

old ball game What

57:15

up peanuts? Peanuts have to be

57:17

in the mix, right? Awesome peanuts. I Any

57:21

other things in that song? Don't

57:26

try to gamify everything. Yeah, I was gonna say

57:28

yeah I know I think Gavin Gavin just trying

57:30

to run out the clock here. It's smart Nick

57:36

is losing it in this episode. I Have

57:40

a question for everybody. Yeah I was

57:43

thinking about you know how like you

57:45

have Subscription everything's a subscription service now

57:48

and you have subscription services you forget that you're

57:50

even paying for sometimes Yeah, you

57:52

had Xbox five for like a year on the wrong account Three

57:55

years, but years. Yeah Listen

57:58

I was trying to do you a favor Um, if

58:02

you viewed every part of your body,

58:04

if it was every part was a

58:07

subscription service. Are there things

58:09

you would unsubscribe to? Oh, yeah.

58:12

What are you unsubscribing to, Jack?

58:14

My bunhole. So you would just

58:16

continue to fill with weight? So you

58:18

just store shit? I just wouldn't poop anymore

58:20

because you wouldn't eat it. You

58:22

don't gotta eat. You

58:26

don't eat because of your butt. In

58:29

this magic world where I can opt out

58:31

of having parts of my body, I'm opting

58:33

out of collecting waste at the same time.

58:35

The world is not that magical. I would

58:37

opt out of like my ring finger maybe

58:39

on one hand, if it was expensive, but

58:41

I could do without it. I'm

58:43

getting rid of my pinkies.

58:46

I'm not paying for those. Don't need them. Oh, you need a

58:48

pinky. Why do I need a pinky? It's,

58:51

you need the end ones. You'll find out real fast. They're

58:53

like bookends for the rest of your figures. You

58:55

think the pinky is more important than the other? Where are

58:57

you going to grow a cocaine nail? Yeah.

59:00

How are you going to dig a little tiny bit of earwax

59:02

out of your ear? I

59:04

got small hands. I can use any finger for that. That's, I'm

59:07

all good. How are you going to count to

59:09

five? Oh fuck. Well,

59:11

I got two hands. It's really, ten

59:13

would be the problem. Yeah. How are you

59:15

going to type an L? I

59:18

think, I don't think I use, no, I

59:20

don't, I know. How about, how are you going to

59:22

tab or shift? I

59:25

don't do shift already. How

59:27

do you run in a video game? I, my

59:29

thumbs. What do you mean? Well, he

59:31

claws it. He's, he's a weird

59:33

claw. Well, I mean, you use

59:35

your pinky to hit all your buttons on the

59:37

right side. No, I don't. What

59:40

do you use? I use my middle finger.

59:43

My middle finger covers my bumper and my right trigger.

59:45

You're right. You're right. And then my next.

59:47

So how much money would you

59:50

have to save to a warrant losing

59:52

the little fingers? Honestly, $3 each. They're

59:55

gone. They're both gone. So you

59:57

would make six bucks a month and not have

59:59

fingers? Well, okay

1:00:02

that one even buy you an extra value meal

1:00:04

of McDonald's pointless no no no give me I'll

1:00:06

give you $300 let's chop them

1:00:08

off man. You know you can resubscribe in

1:00:10

this world I'm saying that I

1:00:13

think I would be willing to drop the

1:00:15

subscription for that if I'm wrong I'll unsubscribe

1:00:17

from everything below my neck at night While

1:00:21

you die Those

1:00:24

are vital organs Okay,

1:00:26

can I can I be like the

1:00:28

Robo cup remake? I'm just like a

1:00:30

fine and like one wrong Yes,

1:00:36

if you go the other way could you subscribe

1:00:38

to extra shit like can I have extra? Talk

1:00:42

in I'm into this I'm putting a

1:00:44

cock on my back like yeah Can

1:00:46

I pay like an extra $13 to

1:00:48

have two three elbows

1:00:50

or something sure? Why not

1:00:53

want more elbows? I want

1:00:55

a prehensile tail I? Would

1:00:57

want more elbows that's gonna be like a UFC

1:00:59

fighter would it go on like the forearm side

1:01:01

on the bicep side I? Think

1:01:03

it would go on top of the other elbow What

1:01:07

what like elbow stacking on both

1:01:09

sides? So you just have like

1:01:11

a growth on your elbow. They

1:01:13

wouldn't it wouldn't hinge anything It would be

1:01:16

so strong and hard you could fucking whack

1:01:18

people with it, so it'd be awesome About

1:01:21

upgrade you're not talking about like an addition. No.

1:01:24

I it is an addition It's two and it's stacked

1:01:26

on top of each other take me off a 200% yeah get them

1:01:28

off 200% I

1:01:31

wish I could I wish I could rent extra fingers right now

1:01:33

to fuck you off If

1:01:37

I wouldn't recognize is the middle finger yeah, you would

1:01:39

you what how did how would that work? You

1:01:41

would act like fingers. It would have to be one

1:01:43

middle finger coming out of your forehead, and that would

1:01:46

that would probably do it I still in this I

1:01:49

think you would have to have all the five

1:01:51

fingers that they are and then I'm and then

1:01:53

like where your Middle finger is a finger on

1:01:55

your palm and then a finger on the back

1:01:57

of your hand and so when you bend

1:01:59

the They are. You have one true middle

1:02:02

finger it it's very powerful. I could do

1:02:04

that, but I could also put it on

1:02:06

my forehead and it could be my foot

1:02:08

unicorn. Would

1:02:13

you think is the least. Like. The

1:02:15

the party's you get rid of a not noticed most.

1:02:18

Appendix. Old.

1:02:21

Leicester as like a second blood.

1:02:24

Second, Blood. Like.

1:02:27

Imagine a pouch on my back,

1:02:29

the containers as human bodies worth

1:02:31

of blood. The. I kinda sabean

1:02:33

a blood bag on your back. Here

1:02:36

so I can just give myself a trend season if I

1:02:38

need it. Just and the rare

1:02:40

case he needed or is it so you can

1:02:42

do like drugs and then pass a test? Nice.

1:02:45

It would be. A be

1:02:47

like a. Backup. Fuel tanks,

1:02:50

Ah like I can just switch the thing and just

1:02:52

start pumping and if my book goes bad. I

1:02:54

thought I'd rather instead of that,

1:02:56

I'd rather have a backup bladder.

1:02:59

All. My back. South. I get caught

1:03:01

out somewhere. That's why I can't piss. I could just

1:03:03

dump all the p into the back a bladder and

1:03:05

than squirrel my first bladder. It

1:03:07

sucks to be took a baseball to the

1:03:09

backbone of bladders was we are with what

1:03:12

would? I don't worry, really recovered and your

1:03:14

old tests are getting covered in your extra

1:03:16

blood. Save your blood bag popped be gross.

1:03:18

Either way. I'd rather be covered

1:03:20

in blood test. Against

1:03:23

my my blood allows the way I read like

1:03:25

a layer of us covered in my blood. Tests

1:03:29

this this. this is supposed to be on the outside

1:03:31

Bloods was we are the inside of the I can

1:03:33

I can be smuggled, take a shower and get a

1:03:35

piss off putting a surrogate blood of a like don't

1:03:37

got other drivers to be the blood. Or

1:03:40

you could read remake you generate new blood.

1:03:42

you could just start reflect where he slowly

1:03:44

huge in or a blow way slower. The

1:03:47

degenerate. This. Now. Week way I'd have

1:03:49

a full blood bags as you try to. It's. Now

1:03:52

two weeks out of the you to out of good dinner

1:03:54

in Nablus blood that that quickly. So.

1:03:56

Long does it take to generate a bodies were the

1:03:58

blood hold on? second. No one

1:04:00

ever generates Zero Was that's really need

1:04:02

blood budget or in blood Answer That

1:04:04

got a mass A Are you tell

1:04:07

me that Mark Harmon? It didn't have

1:04:09

a human Toma he was storing a

1:04:11

bloodbath. Get a second blood bag ready

1:04:13

to go. Oh My. God. Far as

1:04:15

I thought about the how long does

1:04:17

it take for the body to make

1:04:19

new blood if you donate a pint

1:04:21

of blood, it takes about four to

1:04:23

six weeks to complete replacement all night

1:04:25

and I. Didn't.

1:04:27

Know was it? Do is it George?

1:04:30

Washington. They dislike. Sucks.

1:04:32

For my visual, I want out with them. And

1:04:37

they like let a bunch of blood and seconds each

1:04:39

up at a cherry tree. right There was a punishment.

1:04:42

On a bike? Who can remember American

1:04:44

history or it. Can season. I.

1:04:47

Just remember, like doctors used to kill president's a lot.

1:04:52

Ah but one hundred he got shot other they

1:04:54

killed a violent rummaging around with their bare

1:04:56

hands in his gut are going to wasn't just

1:04:58

present those was a good doctors by the

1:05:00

way. dogs are killed a lot of people a

1:05:02

lot back in the also it was a

1:05:04

lot alike at alone. let's see what this does.

1:05:07

Not. Always thing about the the drunk history

1:05:10

for when the on the one about

1:05:12

the president who had the least like

1:05:14

longest run like he died twenty eight

1:05:16

days. Biggest. Six. Yeah

1:05:18

like a cold and like pneumonia and

1:05:20

the Clintons him just going in. the

1:05:22

doctors didn't know anything as the latest

1:05:24

through lead Susan snakes on. I'm. The.

1:05:27

Little bite you make you feel better. As

1:05:29

that is my my head the

1:05:31

old timey doctor. Is thrown

1:05:34

snakes some people are either way and they also

1:05:36

didn't believe in anything that was like it visible

1:05:38

at. Microbes. Of

1:05:40

bacteria. Yams,

1:05:42

William here hinders if I am ill. In

1:05:45

the solution is for a snake to

1:05:47

bite me better. I.

1:05:49

Need you guys to kill me in the room

1:05:51

on the spot. What?

1:05:53

if the snake is in my mouth and i buy

1:05:55

you and then while i'm buying you the snake bites

1:05:58

you seen of a see the snake whole like No,

1:06:00

no, I I appreciate

1:06:02

the sentiment, but I can't I the

1:06:05

knowledge alone of even the idea of

1:06:07

a snake The idea

1:06:09

that a snake exists is

1:06:11

bad enough. I just I couldn't do

1:06:13

it. I just couldn't do it What if Gavin

1:06:15

subscribes to? The life-saving thing

1:06:18

the snake has and then

1:06:20

he bites you snake. I'll also that way

1:06:22

subscribe to some glands and a fan Yeah,

1:06:25

I can do that. I can do that. You can

1:06:27

do that Okay, I can Gavin snake is if it's

1:06:29

Gavin biting me and not a snake mouth. I can

1:06:31

do it Where am I biting you there? Yeah,

1:06:34

it's gonna have to be a wiener. It's the

1:06:36

only way I would say it's the

1:06:38

ass Cuz it's so fleshy, but I mean it's up

1:06:40

to you. Yeah, it's either the ass or the wiener Have

1:06:44

you guys thought about that? No, we have to end

1:06:46

up. We have to go If

1:06:49

you didn't interrupt, I don't I don't believe that

1:06:57

Fucking shot. Here's your final six words. Take

1:06:59

us out Andrew. Don't

1:07:02

fuck yourself Eric Five

1:07:06

words, we'll see you next time Bye.

1:07:09

Hey guys Major League fan Jack here with

1:07:11

a look at next week's episode of face

1:07:13

And once again, the boys are behind schedule.

1:07:15

So with only a few episodes left here

1:07:17

are more predictions Jeff had secrets

1:07:20

in the store. We have our first

1:07:22

graded pen Jim mint 10 Gavin made

1:07:24

a Gracie meme We have a new

1:07:26

favorite sport did Nick wear the monkey

1:07:28

mask who didn't survive the eclipse and

1:07:30

once again Andrew does not eat the

1:07:32

pencil all that and more on next

1:07:34

week's episode of face