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March will make fantastic Christmas gifts

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but I am also going to

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go on tour Excuse

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me! Don't look! Look Dad, you

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have to be there! Pafide is not going to be

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there! With my can

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I have my ball back tour?

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It's my first stand-up show in

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six years. If you go to

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richtown.com/gigs or richtown.com/ball back slash tour

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you can see all the dates and all the

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links and from Friday at 10am you can book

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tickets to most of those gigs there are some

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that where the tickets won't be available for a

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little while Please do come

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some godforsaken places like

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Basingstoke and Barnard Castle

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I'm not going to do the joke and

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Skabra It's going to be a long

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cold night of the soul

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and very lonely for big swathes

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along So richtown.com/gigs would love to

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see you there. Please support me

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if you can. I'm so excited

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2:52

starts here. Hello

2:59

everyone, welcome to the Mac in Belfast.

3:01

Please welcome a man who's going to

3:03

kill you all with the deodorant he

3:05

bought full of poison. Got through

3:07

security. It's Richard Herring! Oh

3:17

wow, you're not quite as good as last week's audience, I

3:19

have to say. They were good. They were good. Yeah,

3:22

those... bad luck. I

3:24

hate those fuckers. From last week. Anyway,

3:28

welcome to Richard Herring's

3:30

Laughing Sandbank Mouths are

3:32

Twats podcast. The

3:35

mouth on the sandbank is the

3:38

translation of Belfast. The

3:44

people of Belfast didn't know that. Talking

3:46

of mouths on sandbanks, I

3:48

was hanging out with Fergal

3:50

Sharkie from the Undertones. He

3:53

was telling me all about the sewage in the UK. I

3:56

just wanted him to sing Teenage Kicks. The

10:00

your material travels. Because.

10:02

People assume that if you're a comedian

10:04

from here the when you travel you

10:06

just talk about hear the fifth fifth.

10:08

So you know people think I'm and

10:10

you know people thing I'm in Chicago

10:12

talking about classical shop and southern belle.

10:15

father. On I

10:17

am ah. They

10:19

know if you don't. Forget

10:23

it was just every time to answer those questions

10:25

of people have a both why at work when

10:27

you're away it a people asking hide the like

10:29

a nice was you know they're like how to

10:31

support what do. They like your dare do

10:33

they get it knocked anything So I'd

10:35

I'd done last year run issues of

10:38

the Operation Belfast and Sell and five

10:40

nights of it's Like Real professionally A

10:42

Great courses five homers a nice on

10:44

them how to that have my doubts

10:46

the special and then went to America

10:48

with two weeks later on on comedy

10:50

clubs there have multi camera setup and

10:52

my brother that you go with me

10:55

so we huddled issues cupboards on their

10:57

small venues to s when I started

10:59

do not a went in was less

11:01

is this. Is more interesting. Than.

11:04

You know if is is I do issue from Belfast.

11:06

You. Know. It's. Kind a like you know

11:08

yet if it's lobby on come on stuff. But

11:11

this is more of a. Is

11:13

Mort Sahl engines more. You.

11:15

Know it's me kind of a doing something

11:17

like totally different Yes, you're A or is

11:19

it is As as as I think that

11:22

I'm. Go. To America as

11:24

was was vague. I've toured the

11:26

Uk and that's enough of those

11:28

are my bosses Break every says

11:30

my my view as. He

11:33

catch phrases. In

11:35

I sometimes up to fight the Belfast

11:37

it's it's quite hard. Ah but how

11:39

does that compare to Raise A? They

11:41

just fly during the season. America's to

11:44

the project big been to a bus

11:46

driver to ignore the oh no no

11:48

no obsessed fly into gasoline I'm and

11:50

it's like people have an idea of

11:52

like are you doing this America to

11:54

so quite saw this is me sit

11:56

and like in airports you know do

11:58

like long flights. Sometimes on their

12:00

just by myself on I just I

12:03

get really into the Pc games obama

12:05

hundred am So like my wife, the

12:07

ring and me being like it is

12:09

with two young kids animals he missing

12:11

home to the highest there and I'm

12:13

like pretend than my aunt's He was

12:15

discovered travel. Secretly. On

12:17

Taken like Lincoln said each of those albums

12:19

are like I'm on the i'm under pressure

12:21

more plan football manager on armed robbery and

12:24

assault style with the show she's a high

12:26

walls of my things to talk about like

12:28

you know the play off final against Oxford

12:30

and I did you know fit as I

12:32

was just sit there playing football manager the

12:35

original one on my on my phone seven

12:37

tons of whom images on my phone on

12:39

the way he was York City when the

12:41

European cup the I think I'm came second

12:43

in they as the premises present. Pretty

12:47

good day Sir Andrew Luck A lot

12:49

of newer comedians do this but it's

12:51

a minor you say? It's been a

12:54

lot money filming the show and in

12:56

Belfast feel but any put the so

12:58

out for nothing yeah my with ads

13:00

that was not my first from our

13:03

fo fo what I saw was not

13:05

a like noble thing that I say

13:07

the right. I tried their dad at.

13:10

The place while the earn. A lot

13:12

of money on bay busy were like

13:14

no further ethics as they didn't wanna

13:16

have an idea. We did speak the

13:18

like a streaming service. who said and

13:20

you know maybe like sit on of

13:22

for a while and will see her.

13:24

The landscape changes as I live North

13:26

America. My pillow addresses fast as I

13:28

got out. He takes a long time

13:30

for landscape to which I hear about

13:32

I phones like of my beyond as

13:34

a few yawns there except the history

13:36

of Netflix ah ah but is still

13:39

having it's. it's it's It's a good

13:41

way to advertise. Your next? oh right, put

13:43

the hero up and then you hope you think

13:45

I will. goes the next. Oh yes. Say the

13:47

that that it does that work is that exists

13:49

a viable way to do it. Tiny? Yeah I

13:51

will mckenna get rid of the material birds were

13:53

to. Start. Doing like new material fear

13:55

of a bit annoyed their of force me to

13:58

just make sure of in new stuff there. And

14:00

but it is beat like I'm I'm a big fan

14:02

of Just Like. But. Still fight and.

14:05

To get as many people to see it as

14:07

possible and even with by to Nepal dozens of

14:09

an odd speed for mages don't feed back in

14:11

the stand up and. Also my number

14:13

one person so. Of. The more people

14:16

just come the that they're so the know

14:18

it's it's great It and maybe idea is

14:20

is really great is a very funny so

14:22

do just about. We haven't seen it already

14:24

so let you start a Big Guns Being

14:26

a stand up for a since Two Thousand

14:28

Eight is similar to things. yeah yeah. Yeah

14:31

have even. A thing of the

14:34

thing when I did my first gig. really

14:36

us area and you're working in a call

14:38

center before? he did number. Yeah. so. What?

14:41

What would what? this book? What were you doing in

14:43

the calls and. It was am

14:45

it was cool calm. Okay so

14:47

I bind cool Poland for a

14:49

shower day. Okay but I go

14:52

pace. Of Hiromi like so it

14:54

wasn't like he had Elvis and I was

14:56

a full time job. kind of on them.

14:58

You were just would read a script. Every

15:01

so I thought was the best job for Stand

15:03

up because my evenings were free death and are

15:05

pretty good. Well let me just go to gigs.

15:07

you get shifts covered. I would write

15:09

like stand up on the side when I'm he

15:12

been on the phones and of a nails like

15:14

this is perfect and then the more went on

15:16

the more as you start ripping nuts grip the

15:18

last of and right and on the side so

15:20

eventually like I just had the. I. Had

15:22

to quit but I know like. Know

15:24

work lined up. it wasn't your I

15:26

didn't quit because. There's too much

15:29

comedy going on on the side or was

15:31

being offered this or that. I was just

15:33

like I need to be in a position

15:36

where I can give this a go down.

15:38

It was a dick but the first six

15:40

months nothing really happened and then I tried

15:42

to go back to get my first job

15:45

which was a dishwasher, new restaurants and it's

15:47

own I'm from and they would. They did

15:49

give me the job a subset of this

15:51

is a so bad writing jokes on the

15:54

side effects as well as a citizen sources

15:56

that is an eye on them and. Lawfully

15:58

like one thing here. Right at the

16:00

time works like only to move on

16:03

and kinda snowballed we the from from

16:05

their go away you know he has

16:07

he been I'm in a if I

16:09

get sued to America or whatever scale

16:11

is pretty unusual there are many you

16:13

even when we been think of effective

16:15

to be does a man it's maybe

16:17

Jimmy gone like Sarah Millican sometimes those

16:19

Uk to this is very few people

16:21

yeah so you've you've become very says

16:23

he playing big big veggies in Ireland

16:25

as wizards are these as well. As

16:27

though some very, very well by like that

16:29

is that Vince begin that big, a lot

16:32

people in the in in England and Scotland

16:34

Wales My. Not. Heard of Yeah

16:36

yeah, definitely am in. Wales.

16:38

Of the things he are richer were like. We.

16:40

Can never like agree that would do well

16:42

especially when your sanity things I can't be

16:45

the gathers other radical well as it's just

16:47

and thing for me to be like on

16:49

on the moon and affiliate them say that

16:51

that I'm gonna happen. But.

16:53

Yeah, it's it's. a mean. It's

16:56

and sell I can sell like a load of

16:58

tickets and Belfast but then. There's. Parts

17:00

even of Ireland where I wouldn't so many

17:02

tickets at. all his friends on the it

17:04

seems to be like. Working. Class

17:06

cities that are hobbies, thrive in comedy seems

17:08

where. I'm Selma To

17:10

Intellect Belfast, Liverpool, Glasgow Death,

17:13

and Newcastle Manchester Places like

17:15

that am. But. Yeah, I mean it's

17:17

gone like. Is good grip but I don't

17:19

really like the. Think about other too

17:21

much at all right? just can lucky my head

17:23

and just keep doing it and just don't don't

17:26

think about a real advantage of stuff your best

17:28

but i try not to them and easy do

17:30

after that you press the goblins and and doing

17:32

it. Division. Of as he

17:34

got a podcast the developers are tomorrow as

17:37

well have your own podcast a school that

17:39

t with. Me: A.

17:41

Question Mark abandoned her had a roommate

17:44

is a limit This and you've been

17:46

enough Says Drivel Yes yes is that

17:48

may that made these that was going

17:50

to. Be American soldiers that is.

17:52

It's sort of worldwide successful enough before document

17:54

says you give me a moat backstage Cs

17:56

which is new from his. Arms.

18:00

Grid. I told you have

18:02

a degree of size of Mulcaire. Really

18:04

appreciated the mug. it slightly bigger than

18:06

a standard size but not like Sports

18:08

direct big as I s with Sports

18:10

Direct mode in what I would use

18:12

were soon. As. Here so really a

18:14

team of be cool by the time we get the

18:17

end up A great for super You'd never think to

18:19

be enough the threat of ago. Says

18:21

it's. Like if you're starving

18:24

I would have to sports direct mode. So

18:26

far as a damn. Was.

18:28

Was a fat ice accounts think the

18:30

message number hungry either moments of us

18:32

have been the best. I like. You.

18:35

Know I know recess it is Mary we're but

18:37

I don't like him soup and public the price

18:39

of a like vulnerable than or some such a

18:41

baby. The things I do what makes you more

18:43

vulnerable this is not as on a show about

18:46

it but if you eat a yoga in a

18:48

in public. Figures to

18:50

something to listed to live, disprove

18:52

your life to? Well when we

18:54

did y one of our first

18:56

Tv jobs. There. Was direct and we

18:58

did number of well he did with would have a

19:00

little bit and then we got a friend's is gone

19:02

the tree for the directors West's me with your yoga

19:05

on the to Me last over there. Is

19:08

no says I were. You could do

19:11

violence or feel like there's certain processing

19:13

disorder get away with yeah but if

19:15

he getting porn and they're pretty full

19:17

or half a ton of bricks all

19:19

work together as a weakness. This is

19:21

the weakness the list or having to

19:23

listen we have the respect of on

19:26

corner the earth in of your powerful.

19:28

Enough to sit on a tube and just you

19:30

know fall on their mix it all up in

19:32

a top of the i must have to that

19:34

of a par move the adverse effects outs of

19:37

respect our didn't have a spoon and the using

19:39

the. Lives. Of.

19:41

View passive into a lead. Novices:

19:44

The hands. Of

19:47

Melanoma I had Sovereign Citizen were

19:49

my wife yesterday and we bought

19:51

a boon. Like oppressive Monday salads

19:53

like the falafel when I'm a

19:56

salad as I wasn't terrible. Cinematic

19:58

as a Half was. The summarize:

20:00

I hadn't picked up a fork. I

20:03

know as I have very a falafel

20:05

and I'm a salad with my hands

20:07

in the.assad I. Am

20:10

I recommend bit assess assess because you don't know

20:12

was coming on that even if you can fail

20:14

or is it at home as a oh this

20:17

is i've this is a black berry be sure

20:19

of is the falafel are under arrest of it

20:21

is a. Festival.

20:23

Quite nice luckily. so I'm a

20:26

begin with I. Mean

20:29

up a legacy small, the like, a homeless

20:31

of lawful solid in the cinema. Belfast

20:33

the like Athens illegal ssssss

20:35

know what like zone compete

20:37

as. Well I was conscious

20:39

no one was a with a cinema.

20:41

In the days of we go to

20:44

see we would see the of the

20:46

Agatha Christie haunting in Venice. Is

20:48

my wife wanted to see because she's doing it.

20:51

He says he has them from. women's of a crime is

20:53

a great focus their lives With these Augustus and eleven. And

20:57

some is just one example.

20:59

easy. On. Her book does. Of

21:02

was very sure but then we went to a said we

21:04

are we having day Sunday. Which. Arrived

21:06

years in a relationship and you don't

21:08

have a job as a high risk

21:11

as is. Really recommend going to have

21:13

a guy no one saw is really

21:15

going out. We went out to London

21:17

for the afternoon. We. watched of the

21:19

when I went home looked up because as he went

21:21

with my mom. So no

21:23

one was is a little bit seats and for the

21:25

moto no one was going to be them. I thought

21:27

I might be a with. That

21:32

are already tied with as well. They

21:35

get through the mood for the not

21:37

help assess assess spread two or three

21:39

good run sun right and medium sized

21:41

unless they sat right behind us and

21:44

right in front of us so noisy

21:46

my him his bluff above us the

21:48

him. This. Is probably quite annoying for

21:50

how with. My my

21:52

my first day when I went to the

21:55

cinema. Cinema is Belfast here, as is apparent

21:57

from. Eyes the girl

21:59

that I. Gorman day with. At.

22:01

Judas move broader meet. Okay

22:04

such as me the freedom and I had

22:06

brought five pounds because it was able to

22:08

quit in so I'm gonna pay me in

22:10

a be a young gentleman a pay her

22:12

into and then have a pine for like

22:14

sweets to share. Fear. But. Then or

22:17

meatless, soft, us. So much.

22:19

Oh my God right. The system

22:21

says this. My. As

22:24

like dwells. On

22:27

the critics she was like a year younger.

22:29

Woods and weird but it. Does

22:32

it is so bad. but. Then.

22:36

I was in what we call first born. As

22:39

here's a p seven but we would

22:41

seem kind of his. Price.

22:46

We started to notice that we're sort

22:48

of when I when I was a

22:50

Be Seven series Peace expertise very old

22:53

for her age as various. I'm

22:55

very young for my year, right? so

22:57

those only literally couple of months between

22:59

us. When I would

23:01

beat her up to school which he was a

23:03

be seven I look like a miniature businessman. I

23:06

like the certain times you've just been

23:09

silver geopolitical. Make some four foot thought

23:11

we were you. For

23:15

your decisively spades destroy your career

23:17

on. have a. Nice

23:20

thanks to my my dad drove

23:22

me to defeat. And she

23:24

was down and outside vibes already bitchy resorting to

23:26

run. she's download side with her meat and I

23:29

realize what of help with. A my

23:31

dodge annually as a result in there my.for

23:33

about the ones as only one your again.

23:41

I never married. Fab

23:43

those. This was my first it them. As

23:47

nice as an Isis the of like

23:49

have the parent trap make but better

23:51

with Ibiza your five thousand or three

23:53

of ya just my visit the to

23:55

them go in and uses mean you

23:57

sweets and by the idea of one.

24:00

It could have been good

24:02

their could work out with

24:04

Alfred nested the guests. Had

24:09

to go prizes all. I mean. Why

24:12

us? that? he's sick people? Delivers

24:18

was a great big video special.

24:20

Dog was interested in talking to

24:22

Bell. Circumcision.

24:26

I've. Had a part of my

24:28

genitals removed. Oh you bomb em.

24:34

Other at the very that's what I'll

24:36

do next year ago said you can

24:38

get along with here alive As you

24:40

know with all these they have an

24:42

adult circumcision. Know. I got a size

24:44

or from Saudi Arabia has a half as as

24:46

a so yeah I gotta I gotta novel sentences

24:48

me about say that as a coin. Is.

24:51

Quite unusual to be to visit with

24:53

local and of i disagree about the

24:56

necessity. Of yeah

24:58

on a set to sit on Ramos

25:00

Local Anesthetic Of those of it like

25:02

that we use we were weights would

25:04

have happened long ago when we like

25:06

but i was no below the with

25:08

yeah be me where i visit gonna

25:10

numbers i would hope about of helps

25:12

know from the that emphasis is fine

25:14

as as they offered me local a

25:16

general anesthetic fab my ball removed yeah

25:18

who the fuck is taken Local Anesthetic

25:20

the last. But did you did it?

25:23

Were you watching Will My problem is

25:25

I don't know the difference between logo

25:27

on several on earth has so I

25:29

said yes the whenever they offer other

25:31

opera or am I was a week and

25:33

i of course that looks but they

25:35

weirdly on us I i got a call

25:37

last few months ago was why they offered

25:39

you the option as of said you

25:41

to the T v know. I. Got

25:44

them from their homes on the hummer

25:46

as I pointed out and nice distraction

25:48

on the my whole. Process.

25:52

So i was I knew what they were do

25:54

but i'm are advised to for the answer isn't

25:56

but they have like us they have like a

25:58

thing of you know to me. I'm

26:00

I'm not so much for. A

26:04

developmental good as they are like a little

26:07

bit of a or not. they were talking

26:09

the meteors and can I say this so

26:11

we'll see the the Full Bore school. You

26:13

know the worst thing about it was the

26:16

objections to the number. And

26:19

I got an Italian comprised

26:21

of the author. And. I

26:23

gotta talk with the up with the

26:25

o'clock yes yes sir Fifty six The

26:27

last thing you want our feel vulnerable

26:29

from circumcision the honor of yoga the

26:32

Belfast toxic Mississippi. They are not subtle

26:34

but I thought am from like this

26:36

like. You. Know low key

26:38

hospital. Clearly. Like hobbled in the

26:41

car. Why does the Seagulls pamphlets and will with

26:43

me to the i've been through some place on

26:45

the driver went well. what did you get almost

26:47

like this as such as it as circumcised on

26:50

the I see generally like the hallway home for

26:52

speed bumps always I got probably are you know

26:54

that. He

26:57

wouldn't shut up about the whole well it

26:59

was more painful the miss the most of

27:02

the surgery be I got a bomb on

27:04

them. You know what results would be like

27:06

you for for skyn them. It's

27:10

way better. Reckon it's ot it's

27:12

it's miles better. It is

27:14

miles better. looks weird sort of.

27:16

Then it starts us look good.

27:20

With it for the it for the

27:22

American south of most of them are

27:24

circumcised my usual to fit in with

27:26

emergence of yeah race and know i

27:28

as a very tight for google can

27:30

have a know what about premises above

27:32

in a book about previous is a

27:34

reasonable to bubbles death Also missed the.

27:37

Call comes of about what would your

27:40

perfect the system. Via

27:42

the computer. but it's it's.

27:45

A barrel many people we can talk to.

27:47

My emphasis on the buttons and it is.

27:49

It's one of those things, well, the dark

27:51

and mind of a comedian. whenever. I

27:54

found on of them opiates or from says my

27:56

first thought is yet but I'm with you Mr

27:58

Material that through their. means of It

28:00

is kind of okay. Yeah. Well,

28:04

when I went to the GP, like I had

28:06

a big ball, I went to the

28:08

GP said, don't worry 99% sure this isn't cancer. Good

28:11

to get a figure. And

28:15

I left feeling quite happy that I didn't have cancer.

28:17

He was wrong. Spoiler alert. But

28:20

I was slightly disappointed because I thought

28:22

I can't do any material about nearly

28:24

having tested cancer. But

28:26

now luckily I had to stick in a cancer. There's

28:29

a book. Stand up show.

28:31

It's fantastic. So comedians look at the world

28:34

in a different way. Yeah. Yeah. And then

28:36

there has to be said that any normal

28:38

person, most people can craft

28:40

their missing foreskin into money

28:43

making material. I crafted mine literally into a bridge.

28:49

They must aren't they? Don't they use them

28:51

to, don't they use them in

28:54

like making big

28:56

beauty products or something? What

28:59

do they do with the kids to sell where they

29:01

could they use the skin? They use the cells in

29:04

foreskin. Is that what it is to

29:07

kids? Little babies foreskins.

29:10

They take the cells and they use them

29:12

to rejuvenate old people like

29:16

a sort of vampiric, a cock

29:18

vampiric. What is it? Some

29:21

woman that knows what I'm talking about. Then she went

29:23

no when I said that they'd make them. They

29:29

make a beauty cream. Thank you doctor. So

29:35

there you go. So you know, I hope you didn't just

29:37

throw it away. Well, no, they didn't offer me because that

29:39

was the thing I have. Like the next day I was

29:41

like, Oh, I should have gone it. You know what I

29:43

mean? And done something with it. But they,

29:46

I don't know what they did with

29:48

it. I don't know what they did.

29:51

Probably put in a bin or. Can

29:53

you reuse it like a rubber band or something? Yeah,

29:56

no, I don't know. You go back there. They got some pain. I would like

29:58

to have had the. the option to

30:00

donkolga. Yeah, they don't give me the ball back

30:02

either. They're

30:05

not? No. That's what the book's largely about, my

30:08

anger. It's still, they keep it, they hold on to it. They

30:11

shall, you know they definitely do. My donkolga just told me

30:13

it says there'll be somewhere in case they need it again.

30:16

For, you know, just table

30:19

telling. LAUGHTER MUSIC

30:24

CHEERING Today's

30:26

episode of Rihalasappa is brought to you by

30:29

the National Lottery. They've tasked

30:31

us with delving into a question that we've all day dreamt

30:33

about at one point or another, haven't we? What

30:35

would we do if we won the jackpot

30:37

on the National Lottery? And I'm

30:40

not doing this alone, here with me are

30:42

the brilliant minds, it says here, behind your

30:44

favourite true prime price card. I'm

30:47

married to one of them, I can't remember which one. It's

30:49

Hannah Church, Taylor Glen and

30:52

Katie Wilkins, that one seems the most familiar. It's

30:54

the drunk women solving crime. Yay! Hello!

30:57

Hello. Last

31:00

year when Richard had this conversation on

31:02

his podcast, he said... So,

31:05

what, A would be the first

31:07

person you'd tell if you won the National Lottery. I

31:09

suppose it would probably be Mum, tell me Mum everything.

31:11

She's the first person I call, I don't think I'd

31:14

tell her, I wouldn't even tell my wife. Imagine winning

31:16

the National Lottery. You

31:18

could put out your own back accounts. Wow,

31:20

unbelievable. I stand by it,

31:22

I stand by everything I said. Katie,

31:25

how do you respond? Would you tell Richard if you

31:27

won the National Lottery? See,

31:29

I... Well, now, I put

31:31

it to you this, challenge

31:33

accepted, because I propose we

31:35

play a game. How long

31:38

would it take me to spot that we've won the

31:40

lottery? How

31:43

many gold shoes would Richard have to have

31:45

lying around the house before I'm like, hey,

31:48

what's up? Well, how long did it take

31:50

for you to notice that I'd lost one of my

31:52

testicles, Katie? A long time, it was a couple of

31:54

years. It

31:57

didn't used to be two, so I think I'd get

31:59

away with it. with it. Given one

32:01

of the first things I would do is build

32:03

an extension on the house and have a hygienist

32:06

in there who works for me every day cleaning

32:08

my teeth, you might notice quite quickly. That's what

32:10

I'm going to do with the money. I'm glad

32:12

you said teeth actually. I was thinking what? We've

32:15

come straight from a bollocks to

32:17

a hygienist. I didn't know you could have testicle

32:19

hygienists. Wait, you

32:22

hate going to the hygienist. Why do you want to show him an end

32:24

to a hygienist? Exactly. Because then I won't have

32:26

the horrible thing where they have to carve

32:29

plaque off your teeth every six months. They

32:31

would do it every day. When my husband

32:33

went to the dentist last, apparently the dentist

32:35

opened his mouth and she just went, oh,

32:38

small teeth. Oh

32:41

my gosh. I know. What a thing

32:43

to say to somebody. Although when your

32:45

gynecologist says that, you're like, whoo, thanks.

32:50

You could pay for him to have big teeth put

32:52

in, Hannah. Oh, I could

32:54

do. You could get that. You could have massive

32:56

rabbit teeth. Yeah, I've got

32:59

a kind of Ken Dodd thing sort of

33:01

like. I mean, get him a tickle sick.

33:03

I think we're going to. All right. What

33:06

would what would you guys get? What would

33:08

what would what were your first purchases? Oh,

33:10

wow. First purchases. Lobster.

33:14

That's for myself. Just a big lobster for

33:16

myself. And can I say that I would

33:18

buy a ticket to watch Taylor eat a

33:20

lobster? It's quite a spectacle. We've seen

33:22

it before. What about you guys?

33:25

Is there any is there any case that

33:27

you would like to investigate with millions

33:29

of pounds behind you? Oh, I really like we

33:32

did this case called the Somerton man, which was

33:34

about a guy that was found. It was like

33:36

in the 40s. He was just found

33:38

on a beach in Australia and they never worked out who they

33:40

were. They say they've worked out now, but

33:42

I only ever read headlines and never actually read any

33:45

articles. So I don't know if they've actually found out. But

33:47

I would go into I put

33:50

the money into finding out who he was. I don't

33:52

want to take things too low

33:55

brow. But what if we were to be

33:57

very, very petty with

33:59

our new sound? five

36:00

quid for a never ending five quid

36:02

trip. So

36:07

just like any of us, when it

36:09

comes to the National Lottery, it could

36:11

be you. If you were

36:13

to play tonight, where would you keep your

36:15

ticket whilst you wait to find out if

36:17

your numbers come up? Do you have a

36:19

safekeeping spot? We have like,

36:21

we call it our Jason Bourne box, which is just a

36:23

really sexy way of saying the box we keep our passports

36:25

in. So I'd keep it in the

36:27

Jason Bourne box. I

36:30

think, you know, it's a game of chance and

36:32

I think you have to increase the peril. So

36:35

I keep my lost ticket

36:37

over an open flame that

36:39

just is just high enough. But

36:42

just so that it could just if the wind blew,

36:44

it could just burn up and I could lose everything.

36:46

So I'd just like the extra, I could win, but

36:49

also I could lose everything. It makes

36:51

it more much more exciting for me

36:54

as a fun thing to do. So your safekeeping

36:56

space is an elaborate James

36:58

Bond style ruse that's

37:01

going to end terribly. I'm going

37:03

to keep mine dipped in some

37:05

flame proof materials.

37:09

You bet. When Richard puts it on

37:11

flame, we're still fine. I

37:15

would keep it in Toby's mouth because there's so much room

37:17

with us. Well,

37:25

thanks to the National Lottery for allowing us

37:28

to live out a life full of new

37:30

found riches. I know my next move is

37:32

to get a ticket in store or by

37:34

the app, punch in my lucky numbers and

37:37

make all of this a reality. So remember,

37:39

the National Lottery, it's where your numbers make

37:41

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That's aura.com/safety to learn more and

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activate the 14-day trial period. Right,

38:54

look, we've gone off script anyway. Let's

38:56

go and ask you, I'm gonna ask you a

38:58

would you rather question from would you rather available in

39:00

the foyer. It's gonna be random. And I don't remember,

39:02

right, I wrote this book pretty fast. After

39:07

I just had a testicle removed. So

39:09

let's see how we go. If you could make one

39:11

part of your body or one of your senses 50

39:14

times more sensitive than it currently

39:16

is, which body part or which part of your

39:18

body would you rather

39:20

have? If you could make one part of

39:23

your body or one of your senses 50 times

39:25

more sensitive than it currently is, which body part

39:27

or sense would get a

39:29

50 times increase in sensitivity? I can answer

39:31

that through experience. My foreskin

39:33

is now 50 times more sensitive. If

39:36

the wind changes, I'm like, ah. So

39:38

make something 50 times more sensitive. Not

39:44

the hardback, but with the foreskin, you're

39:46

either gonna be a lot more sensitive or the

39:48

complete opposite. Right. I would have thought less, just

39:50

expose now to the elements. Well, no,

39:52

I do wear a short- I thought, wouldn't it, over time, Wouldn't

39:56

it, doesn't the sheath protect it, and then

39:58

over time it gets battered around? Then

40:00

loses some of us. And

40:02

or three there will find that could you could

40:04

email me in a few years. Let me know

40:07

of an hour ago a thought it will body

40:09

part level to be more sense of yeah because

40:11

they could be something that's not very sensitive against.

40:13

Don't some the sense to be more thirty? the

40:16

want anything really anything to sense of like a

40:18

sense I went to be. but if our sense

40:20

of a sense of smell. Know

40:23

because. Is no No.

40:26

Sense. Of hearing the load well over

40:28

the women in Kanto in the things

40:30

I'm Ottaway. A thing that must

40:33

be like the worst with us in in

40:35

Kanto. it's not real source of i've under

40:37

the saddled with in Kanto. I watch all

40:39

the time and actually my favorite How with

40:42

Rise I love it. I think it's pretty

40:44

I'm a bit has this is Laura and

40:46

hidden so chorus a mile away. I

40:50

madison not. I've heard

40:52

lots. Maybe like maybe I said

40:54

or something. Yeah I say

40:56

because yeah it does. I'm starting to like

40:59

I have very I have good vision is

41:01

what I if I had even better of

41:03

it like. Will. Collide C. C

41:07

yam More things, I don't think

41:09

I think I'm up the level

41:12

of sensitivity physically and emotionally that

41:14

I'd. Uncomfortable with

41:17

that? That's. A

41:19

thing. About

41:23

that was rumpus. Yes it

41:25

all go physical go up.

41:27

they. Would.

41:30

You rather have headlights on

41:32

your forehead or indicates is

41:34

on your bottom? Ah yes,

41:36

Yep. You.

41:39

Could cut holes in your trousers. Oscars

41:41

said the indicators could be seen I

41:43

add. Is the

41:45

case you're wondering very wouldn't be useless

41:47

indicators. I think the indicators

41:49

would be would be form we're not

41:52

resuming what this piece of other people's

41:54

miss A useful. When.

41:56

Stasi Bull. What? That. Means

41:58

the people bumping into. You're at

42:00

yeah, we're like in the gym

42:02

shores. Whatever it, you know, I

42:05

always as a backwards okay anyway so

42:07

be hobby for other people's the normal

42:09

way. I was gonna hear your little

42:11

beep America when you go back to

42:13

be be idea. And

42:15

headlights. And come on headlights.

42:18

I Am. I've done

42:20

a gig. if you it's new and Belfast in

42:22

the city centre on I've reversed in do a

42:24

parked car. I left a

42:26

note on the windscreen on the phone number

42:28

and the guy run into doing. So

42:31

I know. but I think of something more

42:33

to see this because he goes, there's no

42:35

damage, almost like they're let's have a go

42:37

photos of your car. Those diamonds don't and

42:39

he wouldn't he? He was like nah nah

42:41

nah leave. We. Know what the some to

42:43

me. That. That that

42:45

I got my computer got no avail

42:48

himself. But I was in weight so

42:50

isn't Hitchin Oliver? Been a grassy live?

42:52

I live an amazing life. Ah my

42:54

came out and I didn't spoil anything

42:56

night. and then as I was driving

42:58

home I saw a little bit paper

43:00

flustering on the windscreen. It could easily

43:02

have flown. And. To get

43:05

out on it was like something. so he has

43:07

been the special com yet. the back and I

43:09

went to the was there was a bit surprised.

43:15

Like to take him he now and go

43:17

through the stuff and and relieved if they

43:19

paid for it. Yeah. A bit. Also,

43:21

as I was looking I noticed there was a

43:23

thorn in my. Tire. Which.

43:26

I don't think I would have noticed and I

43:28

don't think of have posted this accident. Forgot how

43:30

to get the today so quiet place I've never

43:32

met the same think a big role socrates level

43:35

of the numbers. I think that person sitting there

43:37

thinking god I didn't different the group of note

43:39

i'm gonna have a criminal I'm going to get

43:41

caught at any second is all right. But.

43:44

He for me on on on new numbers that's why

43:46

thing it's a bit daughter gave. It

43:49

and give anything away anyway. at least that says so.

43:51

in my hand on like is he may

43:53

be an assassin's yeah we will drive in

43:55

a polo so maybe okay so right is

43:57

the color choice for the soccer but as

43:59

a The Euro-Satan would do that. They would? Yeah.

44:03

I think just driving a pole, you think,

44:05

fuck it. Yeah. It's probably made it a

44:07

bit slightly better. It's made it a slightly

44:09

more interesting car as a result. Good. You

44:12

know, we got some stuff out of that. And

44:14

that's all, it's content, that's all we're here

44:17

for. Yep. Right,

44:19

the other thing I wanted to, well look, I don't, you won't

44:21

want to talk about this too

44:23

much because I think it's a big part of this show.

44:26

But there's a very

44:28

funny story about Kevin Hart, but you

44:30

supported Kevin Hart when he came here.

44:33

I hear you're talking

44:35

about Richard. Mind me if

44:37

I have 41 now. I

44:39

mean, how did this happen?

44:41

How did you end up? Blackmail.

44:43

Yeah. How did you end up

44:46

supporting him? So we have the same agent, and

44:48

I'm going to get it at different levels of

44:50

priority. I'm nervous, right? So

44:53

I have an American agent who

44:56

is his agent now, and

44:58

they said, oh, he's going to come

45:00

over for a few months to

45:02

shoot a movie in Belfast, Netflix, because they

45:04

film everything over here now. Yeah. And

45:07

they said, we would love you and Kevin. Kevin

45:09

will want to do some shows. What if you guys do

45:11

shows together? And I was like, this

45:13

sounds amazing. I'm a fan. Yes, I would love to

45:15

do that. And I

45:18

quickly realized, they were like, you

45:20

do, it's going to be Bill Deschien, Tom Spryze guest.

45:23

I was like, happy days. But you just do 10

45:25

minutes at the start, and then the Spryze guest does

45:27

an hour. So I realized, I'm

45:29

open and formal tour, and I was like, you know

45:31

what? Let him have

45:33

it. It's

45:36

like a co-headline tour. But

45:40

he was here shooting films, and in my

45:42

head, I'm going, he's going to be

45:44

my best mate. I was like,

45:46

this is unreal. Like, you know, we're going to

45:48

be like, running the Belfast together, getting into all

45:51

sorts of things. And

45:53

You know, if it goes well, we talk about Battle

45:55

of the Bone 2. There's a role there for him,

45:57

I'm sure. The.

46:00

Way the shoes would work is. The.

46:02

Wanted to do Anthem at their

46:04

in Belfast small venues because he

46:06

was working on his new are

46:08

long show to then. But.

46:10

I just a special pm on them. I

46:13

was like this is great Good to see

46:15

it being crafted know like anything. So.

46:17

They want me to do fifty minutes and like

46:19

a hundred seat or venues and then there would

46:21

be a brick and then come home for dinner.

46:24

So. As a great one hundred bucks

46:26

feed I'm not even like doc and guy ride

46:28

black people to do it of the won't

46:30

backstage not bother them on as a comes

46:32

up and or gallantly but as a skunk

46:34

month so. For. What happened is

46:37

a specific vote often as I

46:39

would go on stage. And.

46:42

He wouldn't be there yet. But

46:44

as I was on the edge do some twenty

46:46

minutes at the start. They. Would arrive in

46:49

a different door. Him and his entourage so.

46:51

As I guess the word on then I realized. I

46:54

was I'm like to human before assess to

46:56

start to show get everyone look at me

46:58

and then they're gone in run in other

47:01

ways that doesn't get bothered. So they were

47:03

he was still I'm like seventy and seven

47:05

pm every day a man com do stand

47:07

up so I do work ethic. he talks

47:09

about. Always look for them. thought

47:12

maybe I should but for show it isn't

47:14

clear so. I. Would do my said

47:16

it was always roughly fifty minutes but

47:18

they would shine a torch when he

47:20

was reading is so sometimes just fifty

47:22

minutes sometimes and sometimes forty minutes a

47:24

mock anything. So me it was always

47:26

to support items usually meme money com

47:28

gathers rights. we would. We. Would

47:30

fill time and usually was made It was

47:33

on just before I'm so I I never

47:35

knew along the do and you get a

47:37

flash are not meant he's walk into the

47:39

stage to wrap it up and bring them

47:41

all So. I'd usually I'd be

47:43

like of an issue moon of this on their center

47:46

has ever said up. As

47:48

a web or mister pip months. But the interesting thing

47:50

is. There's. is if you been

47:52

to the limelight belfast you know the far

47:54

door right beside the stage to just to

47:56

be and is said they would open as

47:59

far to receive I

50:00

said, like, you

50:04

know I'm in here. When

50:06

I said that, but bear in mind, they

50:08

had never met me. Even

50:11

though we'd done 24 shows, I was like, they'll turn around

50:13

and go, actually, I'm tall, what do you like, come on

50:15

for a pint? They didn't know who I

50:17

was. So they all turned to me

50:19

and were like, he didn't say it, but two of the guys were like,

50:21

yeah, man, you need to get the fuck out of the car. They

50:24

were spooked. And then when I got out of the

50:26

car, lots of people clearly

50:28

saw this happen. And

50:31

it was just, it was like,

50:33

it was very embarrassing. I talk about it in

50:36

special, but then what wasn't in the

50:38

special was when we did the arena show, we

50:40

did three arena in Belfast, three

50:42

arena in Dublin, SSE in Belfast. And

50:45

when we did three arena in Dublin, it

50:47

was the same thing, me and my mate

50:49

Colin to warm up and then I bring Kevin Hart

50:52

on. And this is like 11,000 people, which

50:54

is one of the biggest show I'd ever done in my life. Thank

50:57

you. And, was that

50:59

care? I

51:04

would be surprised if he wasn't here tonight to support

51:06

me. But

51:08

at three arena in Dublin, I

51:10

did, I was to do 20 minutes. And

51:13

you yourself, I'd done 19, finished

51:16

on a punch line and thought, you

51:18

know, that's a good time to bring

51:20

them. I'm not gonna start and do new bit for another

51:22

minute. And there's huge backstage area there, so they'll be good

51:24

to go. So I'd hit 19, a bit

51:27

over 19 minutes and then I start getting the crowd ready

51:29

and all to bring them on. But it

51:31

was a different crew, a production company on this. So

51:33

we didn't have the light system. So

51:36

when I looked over, there's nobody there. So I'm like, he's

51:38

good to go. Normally if I looked over, there'd be someone

51:40

being like filled time or flash the torch, but

51:42

there was nobody there. So I was like

51:45

Dublin, are you guys ready for the man you're here

51:47

to see? I go, ladies

51:49

and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, the

51:51

one and only Kevin Hart. His

51:53

music hits, everyone goes mental, 11,000

51:56

people. I

51:59

go, Well

56:00

that's brilliant. I can read off the book.

56:06

So I went in and was like, you know the

56:08

start, you do that like, hey Shane Todd, you lie

56:10

about your height, you know you give your height and

56:12

all that kind of thing. And you say who your

56:15

agent is, and then they're like, yep, go ahead. And

56:17

I'm like, I'll be there. And I just started like reading

56:19

it with my head down. And

56:22

they go, okay, now you want to put the script aside

56:24

and give it to us. And I was like, well

56:27

no, you said I can be off

56:29

the book. And they went, that

56:31

means you're off book, you know. And

56:33

I went, that makes sense. So

56:38

to be fair to them, they're like

56:40

the loveliest casting directors in the world

56:42

and have done unsuccessful auditions with them

56:44

since. They

56:46

said, they knew I was nervous

56:48

and I've never done one before. They went, go

56:50

to the Starbucks across the road and

56:52

look at it for an hour and we'll get you back

56:54

in. We'll work out some space for you and

56:57

we'll get you back in. And it's

56:59

like, I imagine if you have like a rectile dysfunction

57:01

problem, someone going, no, just get it

57:03

hard. It's all

57:05

well in tenor, but I couldn't do it. You've got

57:08

to be honest for an hour. Get it hard. So

57:12

I just came back and was like, I tried it,

57:15

but I just couldn't learn it in that time. And

57:17

I didn't, I didn't get

57:19

the rule. They said, this

57:22

isn't the job for you. So

57:24

if you can't learn things at an hour. But

57:26

for series three, let me audition again.

57:29

I did not get it. Yeah.

57:35

I think if I had of that series, it

57:37

would have been very successful. I think it could

57:39

have been, it could have done well. That show

57:41

would have done really well. What could have been,

57:43

Lisa's probably thinking. You're

57:47

quite a sporty guy. You like sport.

57:50

And I saw you taking part in some

57:52

boxing. With the comedians, charity

57:54

boxing. Yeah. I took away

57:56

seriously. I like it in the

57:58

weigh in and everyone. in the press conference

58:00

you were all... Yeah, yeah. He looked a bit like, when

58:02

you were dressed up in the glasses and stuff, for some

58:05

reason you really reminded me of Limmy, the

58:07

Scottish comedian. You looked very like Limmy. He

58:10

had a sort of boss thing on him. You know,

58:12

I don't know why. Full length leather jacket on, just

58:14

really getting in my opponent's head. Yeah, it didn't work.

58:16

Because backstage, because we're all comedians, he was like, what

58:18

are you supposed to be? And I just didn't say,

58:20

I just stared at him. And

58:23

it was brilliant. We did it at the Ulster Hall, which

58:25

is like a historic boxing venue as well, like a live

58:27

venue for everything. And it was

58:29

unbelievable. It was so... But

58:32

it took over everyone's life. And the week

58:34

before it, me and my wife were in

58:36

New York. I was doing like a one-off

58:39

show, but it was

58:41

supposed to be like a bit of a romantic getaway.

58:43

And then I was like, every day I have a

58:45

boxing class booked. So I would just like run

58:47

the Brooklyn Bridge and go to a boxing gym

58:49

every single day. But

58:51

it wasn't, it was just in like a friend of

58:53

a comedian knew a boxing trainer out there, and just

58:55

like a regular team. But we were staying right beside

58:58

this really famous gym in Brooklyn. So

59:00

I kept taking photos outside of it. I'm

59:02

sending it to Johnny, who owns Boston. Me

59:04

and like hard work never stops, but I was not actually in

59:06

that gym. And

59:08

we might do it again, but it just,

59:11

it really did become like all encompassing. But it

59:13

was great. It was a really fun

59:15

experience. It was really good. And were

59:17

you really going for the boxing series-ish?

59:22

The whole training, I was taking it really seriously.

59:25

And then on the night, I

59:27

realized it's like, it's fun,

59:29

the whole thing, but it's not really that

59:31

fun, like puns and something. No. It

59:34

was good. It was a

59:36

good night. And I know.

59:39

I knocked the guys tooth out, but it was a screw in, so

59:41

it doesn't really come. I've

59:44

knocked out someone's teeth and they weren't real teeth.

59:46

Oh yeah? Yeah, when I was playing hockey

59:48

at school, I was quite good at hockey, but

59:51

we just sometimes played boys hockey and like

59:53

instead of- A

59:55

luckyie contact. And a lot

59:58

of girls upped it. Boy's hockey! And I, you know. I

1:00:00

raised my stick too high and smashed this guy

1:00:02

in his front teeth and knocked out all of

1:00:04

his front teeth. And he was one

1:00:06

of the toughest guys in school. He'd

1:00:09

been, he'd been, he played hockey. He was slightly, well

1:00:11

you had to, it was like in the lesson, he

1:00:14

wasn't like, so it was in the

1:00:16

lesson. He'd slightly, he'd

1:00:18

once, not funny, he'd

1:00:20

once had a bonfire and thrown some

1:00:22

petrol on to see what would happen.

1:00:27

And so he sort of had some burns on his

1:00:29

front teeth. Not

1:00:32

funny. But I knocked

1:00:35

out his teeth and I

1:00:37

thought I was going to be killed, but it turned

1:00:39

out they were already false teeth because they'd already been

1:00:41

knocked out. And he was only

1:00:43

like 13. He'd already

1:00:45

lost his front teeth. He'd had his

1:00:47

two front teeth knocked out twice, at

1:00:50

least twice. Yeah,

1:00:53

he let me off. Hi

1:00:55

Anthony, so all the few of you listening seems

1:00:58

unlikely. It's unlikely

1:01:00

he's alive. It's really unlikely. It's

1:01:03

unlikely anyone who was in school with me alive, it was

1:01:05

so long ago, but there we go. Good,

1:01:09

let's try another, we'll try another, oh I want

1:01:11

to ask you this, my new, my new old

1:01:14

emergency question. Who's the most famous person you've

1:01:16

ever been in a lift with that

1:01:19

you didn't get into the lift with? Do

1:01:21

you understand that question? Yes. Thank you.

1:01:24

It's a very simple question. You've been in

1:01:26

a lift with a famous person. I've

1:01:28

been in a lift with a famous person. Yeah. That

1:01:31

you didn't get in with. Well Kev might be the

1:01:33

answer. No, did you get in with him?

1:01:35

No, I didn't because I like gave him

1:01:37

that respect. Yeah. He

1:01:39

had a close circle and I

1:01:41

just gave him his respect and they told me I couldn't

1:01:44

get in the lift. Right. There

1:01:47

was a thing, like they have an elevator in there, but I used

1:01:49

to stare because I was like, you know, give them a man a

1:01:51

space. That doesn't sound like you're

1:01:53

getting in a lift with Kevin Hart. Yeah. Who

1:01:56

Have I nearly got in a lift with? I haven't nearly got in

1:01:58

a lift with. I don't. Understand

1:02:02

the question thermal why real most

1:02:04

famous vs you ever been in

1:02:06

the list with right for he

1:02:09

didn't games have a list with

1:02:11

the best so there. Is

1:02:15

a summary of island the mean this

1:02:17

as as as some different. For

1:02:22

a little leery. Oh yeah, the a

1:02:24

little leery year. And a did a

1:02:26

we've said. Not analysts on

1:02:28

a minute. And

1:02:30

A Hotel Zola As the story though be

1:02:33

described as. A.

1:02:37

Way to bring them is like Alex

1:02:39

very tight as a society we finally

1:02:41

been is how was that was the

1:02:43

would be the Avalon when you haven't

1:02:45

moved we did you check out the

1:02:47

and the news to report we can

1:02:49

talk with him as the hell. Do

1:02:53

you want them? And my one is. A

1:02:56

recipe it's favorable for them. Again, we bet

1:02:58

is is a bit of your family member

1:03:00

banquet. remember been like that. Business is bus.

1:03:05

Every this off the top talent

1:03:07

stay. On top and

1:03:09

messes with the recent arrests. Africa.

1:03:14

Gonna say what? I was pretty old

1:03:17

assess assess as I have to we

1:03:19

with interaction. you shouldn't really be out

1:03:21

to do some who could do it.

1:03:24

I. Don't know that hey this is there's a

1:03:26

second, is a significant threat is a fit. His

1:03:28

eventual vowed that closes up when you brother race

1:03:30

and dystopia run game in. There

1:03:32

isn't any of them but it

1:03:34

involves starting a little bit further

1:03:36

box. gotta trust yourself on as

1:03:39

the Usda we goes on. The

1:03:41

other whoop who don't assume slowly

1:03:43

creep olympics was is whether. Or

1:03:46

not you're going to can be done. or

1:03:49

to to take any chances to

1:03:51

walk into disowned via wait wait

1:03:53

for the have gone press meme

1:03:56

of us to the government. Of

1:03:59

the. Was in a to wait up to. You

1:04:04

take it down before you go. He should

1:04:06

have gone before you got the arrests and

1:04:08

know if you've either way it goes. the

1:04:10

other I guess I have a zipper gone

1:04:13

before you, a mess wherever they. Ever

1:04:17

analysts. This.

1:04:19

Isn't. All right, let

1:04:21

me see some events in my real

1:04:23

mother, my diligent research. About

1:04:27

you and your life on a quote from.

1:04:30

A bad banana. Is. Better than

1:04:32

most of the front. And

1:04:35

silly. Nonsense.

1:04:39

Defend yourself right. I'll say

1:04:41

this. I'm not talking about.

1:04:45

On ripe bananas know. Several.

1:04:47

conversations. I mean. A.

1:04:50

Banana: A standard bananas. It's yellow.

1:04:54

He is better. Than. Pretty much

1:04:56

any for to the people who. All. This.

1:04:58

Is the these are really nice bomb as

1:05:00

I think I see Bonanza we that overripe

1:05:03

or maybe the best if you will take

1:05:05

the risk like to some other devices but

1:05:07

this spot at what i'm sayin is usually

1:05:09

have a banana your think him as isn't

1:05:11

like a grip on on the news they

1:05:13

be too hard or whatever. It's.

1:05:15

Still better. Than. Like

1:05:17

a any green apple or anything you

1:05:19

know to mean. I

1:05:22

guess is if. You

1:05:26

may I just mean a bar banana is still

1:05:29

have had a bad the honor his fucking horrible

1:05:31

As far as they when I say about been

1:05:33

on I think there's even a little bit. After

1:05:36

you're not a viable doing well

1:05:38

advised to my god So lonely

1:05:40

A perfect banana So said. like

1:05:42

the last night. The.

1:05:45

Whole the banana the bad as the they be

1:05:48

at the back know someone on as a nice

1:05:50

when they're just as a right level that's a

1:05:52

nice been on as a good been honest advice

1:05:54

if is any brown on it just say the

1:05:56

top of my don't do as they will not

1:05:58

be on. The browns are just handed

1:06:01

back. Now I have to eat a could always that

1:06:03

is good. I. Three the most of their. Animals

1:06:06

Animals are harder at the

1:06:09

I synthesis. Factory

1:06:11

by you pay I just i might

1:06:13

have a stripper ha ha ha survey

1:06:15

for not yet been on his own

1:06:17

real t we would be will myself

1:06:20

for it but three as our been.

1:06:22

Guess. You

1:06:25

don't worry about the potassium overload

1:06:27

of are out of the honorary

1:06:29

of s skills like they could

1:06:31

see his theory but with. In.

1:06:33

One that comes to look for the used

1:06:35

to be the right and you see three

1:06:37

been and then I realized that.miss the like.

1:06:40

The. Government will be like if you

1:06:42

eat bananas in a day. Started out

1:06:44

for guests even have you ever made?

1:06:47

Since then I have no and where

1:06:49

we don't know it's true. Get the

1:06:51

my other. Braille

1:06:55

never done. This

1:06:57

slightly bad around in an alley.

1:06:59

some green apple saw happily some

1:07:02

green apples and everything will be.

1:07:06

Goods. Are you ever

1:07:08

mistake him for same towards the American

1:07:10

engineer who died in Singapore him unusual

1:07:12

symptoms and. I

1:07:15

think it's been an incentive to

1:07:17

me. Really liked. you know, to

1:07:19

bigger schools? Yeah, reach a bigger

1:07:21

audience so that I. Tired

1:07:26

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And it is. When. You do like to

1:08:47

do this or to twitter search so fifty

1:08:50

fifty between. I'm his best so I'm really

1:08:52

trying to overtake him via while little bit

1:08:54

would overtake of guy. He. Died in

1:08:56

the Series. Yeah, I don't have any

1:08:59

such theories about. Why

1:09:01

I asked him to know a bit about the

1:09:03

Gallegos. You know he had the audacity to have

1:09:05

my disappear on be older than me and the

1:09:08

you Don't Get murdered them as mysterious as it's

1:09:10

necessary. Yeah. I do.

1:09:12

I do get mistaken for him. But.

1:09:15

In day to day life. I get

1:09:17

mistaken for everybody because I have

1:09:19

to slick. Dogs. The Lemmy.

1:09:21

Your Enemies Ellen

1:09:24

Degeneres Assess. I

1:09:26

would get quite a bit the

1:09:29

singer Robin, if you know her

1:09:31

yes, yes, and go from stream

1:09:33

for thing is always go assess

1:09:35

assess assess. I do I

1:09:37

just a woman's bases I do hang on her

1:09:39

instagram hostile not involved with people send me a

1:09:42

like all the zooms into the as an eye

1:09:44

on so many of them. Are. Just

1:09:46

how between the legs starter packs These

1:09:48

Vienna is like I'm not saying you

1:09:50

bit like him but like Russell claimed

1:09:52

as that Russell fame as a lot

1:09:55

of people over there exactly what are

1:09:57

you but exact of humor feedback. And

1:10:00

sometimes you have to break people's for like

1:10:03

some guy I'll send you a beer with

1:10:05

a trembling all my me at say look

1:10:07

like junior next and you don't ssssss you

1:10:09

do when i get a lot about embark

1:10:12

the will have been out by now

1:10:14

are still goes with brought his postman. With.

1:10:18

A C same of four days. He

1:10:20

did quite like the idea a pair

1:10:22

of it. He was the right high

1:10:24

and everything and you have a celebrity

1:10:26

double then I Charlie woman? Yes Yes

1:10:28

yes. The. Sites. Have been

1:10:30

mistaken for cyber when the seasons for on the

1:10:32

Broil the hell we could be you Mcgregor family

1:10:34

said I like I'm gonna tell the story for

1:10:36

but I got. I was sitting in a club

1:10:38

and someone came up to me like is that

1:10:41

like one of his lead replace those are my

1:10:43

own a guy said. Why? Don't Weldon

1:10:45

on the long way round and I

1:10:47

didn't know what it was talking about.

1:10:49

I've never seen it so much easier

1:10:51

said than on women. Said.

1:10:53

You know in the a Motorcycle

1:10:55

around the World with the Mcgregor

1:10:57

Olea Europaea as now that rings

1:10:59

a bell. Forgotten

1:11:03

about I. Say

1:11:05

every syllable with as he hasn't been totally

1:11:07

woman. Also. One.

1:11:09

Testicles at the stick with them. Oh. Yes,

1:11:15

I am also. The.

1:11:17

Some of the film director John Boorman

1:11:19

with it. Was

1:11:22

Sam expenses Goodwin said there's there's quite

1:11:24

a few similar. Since we may I

1:11:27

get the Isle of Motor Cyclists Eve

1:11:29

of months. My dad

1:11:31

was more but Mister Professor more like was

1:11:33

a If breweries look leads to things to

1:11:35

do they do that a room they just

1:11:37

really like they're on the street in. Like.

1:11:40

On the normal roads vs. As

1:11:42

in like if they fall off. Their

1:11:45

like on the it All mean the rather and

1:11:47

over on the radio. Mouth

1:11:49

the really three hundred or my mom is

1:11:51

a crazy thing. On my

1:11:54

dog wants to be owed on a bike

1:11:56

Rosewood Thirteen. On. Them. As

1:11:58

me as bike monkeys. Robert I to

1:12:00

me I'd say when are they had a

1:12:03

hundred only be roots like country roads and

1:12:05

our country roads are not fair on them

1:12:07

as on the back and I was physically

1:12:09

like cry and also please stop on showed

1:12:11

me on my dad's like fully like and

1:12:13

dimes the corners and stuff went overboard twenty

1:12:15

minutes he brought me back of she can

1:12:18

and he goes ah the scurry off the

1:12:20

bike. I'd never thought about a guide our

1:12:22

i've never so I don't like. bikes are

1:12:24

like this was never gonna be an option

1:12:26

for me like you're not be a motorbike

1:12:28

refer other I never forgot. About. The

1:12:31

was silva. Well, yeah, wouldn't. Would.

1:12:35

Not enjoy the most. Something.

1:12:38

Terrible because they are some I'd always tells me

1:12:40

was so good out of it like early was

1:12:42

like you will notice of put. It

1:12:44

like broke his back, his neck. Thirty six

1:12:46

Booms In real one The companies like a

1:12:49

really good in the west. Side

1:12:51

Like you know, he fell off a lot

1:12:53

of a thing as far. Vitali bomb. As

1:12:56

one of his legs is shown me other

1:12:58

leg he speaks com of points quite seriously

1:13:00

three or four times bread. Or.

1:13:02

Yapping upon the did you fill out when he

1:13:04

bit when I trust her. Father

1:13:07

Peter Css Civic Center or wishes Aggies

1:13:09

a review. We will become the same

1:13:11

height as when I look, wait wait

1:13:13

nearly as a can't believe how quickly

1:13:16

the has gone by. I'll let you

1:13:18

on so maybe not by the time

1:13:20

is go that way that we just

1:13:22

usually eat and ten for hims homes

1:13:25

that so impressive. I mean I've done

1:13:27

a forty five very else death affecting

1:13:29

my respond ios eight sleep the book

1:13:31

winds come. And take him as one

1:13:33

a year by sentiment henri area you

1:13:36

soon after year because small blaze summer

1:13:38

like to. To. Ruin your vs

1:13:40

are you don't do the same shoes or but

1:13:42

I think if it's there comes a time where

1:13:45

I is not common easily or anything I'll let

1:13:47

park and for a year you know when to

1:13:49

still do the club gigs but not to be

1:13:51

a you're not scared of up but admitted it's

1:13:53

as human jointed are you bow and if you

1:13:56

can do nothing else will emerge. I did, I

1:13:58

did mine consecutively a back rub rub. The couple

1:14:00

of years ago do them is T V days. Ah,

1:14:03

But sent from years ago. But yeah it's kind

1:14:05

of does Once again to the think their mother stopped

1:14:07

and then. It's been for five years since

1:14:09

of them. on site is the sort of a dangerous.

1:14:12

The. Up and began as Gates is sort of

1:14:14

good to go. Follow every man again I think

1:14:16

as a comedian yeah. But. Then in

1:14:18

on I'm com coming back and

1:14:20

hopefully I'll be back In Belfast

1:14:22

existing know that they add some

1:14:24

of us can admirable back and

1:14:27

not and stand up. for

1:14:30

the time when I am. But yes

1:14:32

Britain so you'd be are just as

1:14:35

a good mummy. Ah and. Yes

1:14:38

and I'm sure they'll be another one out

1:14:40

if is this because the with this after

1:14:42

that So so far as I can see

1:14:44

a special know each a result the other

1:14:46

bad soothing is great because it just. Because.

1:14:48

You want people to come move like the right

1:14:51

for if he repeats and guess go online and

1:14:53

go. Oh yeah I love this guy all of

1:14:55

them out of me I wanna see this guy

1:14:57

like this is a great big that the new

1:14:59

get a building see make the isn't gonna like

1:15:01

you young and they get to say as i

1:15:03

like those is fantastic and I'm. Is

1:15:06

incredibly impressive or what you've done. And

1:15:08

the pumpkins? Every girl's. Ass.

1:15:11

I hadn't day and that is such a

1:15:14

funny guy so do check him out. Thanks

1:15:16

so much for coming on such Romero Britto

1:15:18

great severe legs and give it up as

1:15:20

a thumbs up. So

1:15:22

much living under. Not mad

1:15:24

at same topic. Thank you. Well. I

1:15:27

say I'd. Rather

1:15:38

have I would be retiring am I

1:15:40

guess same time? second some regard as

1:15:42

always thank you and seven the hot

1:15:44

one friend will tell us president for

1:15:47

fun or those in good faith have

1:15:49

one of them are very welcome and

1:15:51

since I have one in Belfast of

1:15:53

my i drive a gym he was

1:15:55

quite the character ah and that that

1:15:57

this is a private data about and.

1:16:00

I've got the stripe.com production! Thanks

1:16:12

for listening richardharing.com/Rahulistaba for the Rahulistaba

1:16:14

tour richardharing.com/gigs or richardharing.com/ballback slash tour

1:16:16

for the tour gigs all make

1:16:18

wonderful Christmas gifts for the Richard

1:16:20

Herring fan in your family which

1:16:22

is probably just you so just

1:16:24

tell all your friends and family

1:16:26

to buy them for you and

1:16:29

then get 100 tickets to each

1:16:31

show and then just sit on

1:16:33

your own watch me on your

1:16:35

own. Okay thanks for listening bye!