Pop Punk the Aughts Episode 6: Original Prankster

After taking turns vomiting in the bar bathroom, Cameron, Memphis and John headed to the exit as the bartender cackled behind them.

"Holy fuck, that Malort was nasty," John said, wiping his tongue off with his sock. "This actually tastes slightly better."

"Yeah, I think I've had enough of Chicago." Memphis said. "I'm craving that SoCal vibe."

"Wasn't the knob on the other side?" Cameron asked with his face screwed up in confusion. "I don't think this is the same door."

The boys looked at each other and shrugged and opened the door. Instead of the colorful hallway, they entered a spacious although dimly-lit gymnasium and were met with the echoes of a basketball dribble.

"The fuck? Hey wait isn't that Mug--I mean Frederick over there shooting free throws?" Cameron said, pointing.

John and Memphis followed his gaze to the other end of the court where they saw Frederick in full Charlotte Hornets garb. They watched him miss shot after shot and each time he missed he yelled "AWW BUTT!"

The boys approached Frederick and he spun around when he heard their footsteps. He looked embarrassed.

"He-hey guys! Just getting some practice in." Frederick said with an uneasy smile. "You all enjoying yourselves?"

"Not really," John said, staring hungrily at the ball in Frederick's hands. "Also you should really move your elbows in when you shoot. Trust me. I played basketball. Here let me show you."

Frederick backed away. "No, that's okay." He laughed uncomfortably. "I'm just having an off day."

"Do you have any ACTUAL pop punk bands here?" Memphis asked. "Like maybe...oh I don't know... THE OFFSPRING?"

"What a coincidence!" Frederick exclaimed. "Dexter Holland is actually on his way here for a one-on-one match. In fact, I think I hear him."

Just then the opening to "Original Prankster" began blaring over the loudspeakers. There was a loud CHUNK as all the gym lights turned on at once and the boys turned to see a figure walking out of the locker room in a Toon Squad jersey.

"Holy shit! That IS Dexter" Memphis yelled.

"I don't know...he looks kinda weird." John said, his eyes darting from the figure to the basketball.

"Wait a minute...is that fucking Jake Busey?!" Cameron yelled.

What will happen next? Stay tuned.

Highlights include: Shasta La Vista; Those breadsticks though; Noodles Ca-booze-les; Vincent Priceless; WCW Nitro; Spanish for Dummies; Taking a Napster; Dexter's Lab; Hot Sauce for Sissies; Flying without dying; OP not OG; Shit eaters; Reno 411; Rob Schneider is...a gimmick; Wait, Redman smokes weed?; Serious lyrics; The tip smells like shit; Chocolate diaper