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Apply. Visit figure.com for

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more information. For licensing information, go to

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www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. I

0:34

don't need no Y. The dialogue wants to

0:36

think high class. I spend

0:38

my nights at home room, it's in

0:41

the podcast. Take a deeper

0:43

dive into these movies that are trash.

0:46

I'll be one for the work

0:48

store and then we'll smash. Roll

0:50

call. Todd. Paige.

0:56

The other guy. Mikey. Mikey.

0:59

Thank you for tuning into Romancing the Pod. You had

1:02

us at hello. I'm Paige Wesley. I'm Mikey

1:04

Randolph. And I'm Todd Schlosser. And this

1:06

week Tabitha made us watch. Leap

1:08

Year! Although

1:11

can we just say it really should

1:13

be called Leap Day, right? It

1:15

shouldn't be called Leap Anything. They forget

1:17

about the leap part halfway through the

1:19

movie. Facts. That is true. I

1:22

do feel like this film feels like

1:24

a long year. So

1:27

you're saying you're not a huge

1:29

fan of it, Mikey. I'm saying

1:31

when you watch paint dry, it's

1:33

your thing that you painted. You

1:35

have an investment of

1:37

like, I hope that paint comes out okay. I did

1:39

not feel that for this. Okay.

1:42

It's a very strange metaphor, but okay. I'm

1:44

saying that watching paint dry at my house

1:46

is more, I'm more invested in that than

1:49

this. Well, because you own the house, Mikey.

1:51

Yeah. Which oddly enough, I now

1:53

own this movie. Well, yeah. Todd,

1:56

you told us in the chat that you liked

1:58

it. And we're like you traitor. It's all. It

2:00

is only 99 cents more than renting it. I

2:02

also own this film We're

2:06

holding screenings in your pool I'll

2:10

tell you guys I'll tell you I watch

2:13

this once before because I like remaining comedies

2:15

or whatever same Although I haven't seen this

2:17

one before. This is my first time absolutely

2:19

hated it the first time I watched it

2:22

really you hate this movie I hate this

2:24

movie. I love this movie. I feel like

2:26

this movie hits it hits a space You

2:29

know when Jesus said that like if

2:31

you're ice cold or you know warm,

2:33

but you're lukewarm so I spit you out of my

2:35

mouth Yes, I know what you're talking about film is

2:38

lukewarm. It's not bad enough to be good.

2:40

It's not good enough to be good It's

2:42

just in a level that is disgusting and

2:44

I hated it It is

2:46

what you would call like the uncanny valley

2:48

like it's a movie Yes,

2:50

but it's not great and it's not

2:53

bad. So it's this weird middle ground.

2:55

Yeah, I would argue that it's a weird It's

2:58

a weird travel slideshow of Ireland. I don't

3:00

know if I would call it Feels

3:02

like a pay should we reveal what

3:04

we both wrote in our notes? Not

3:07

yet? Let me finish and then we'll go let me

3:09

finish it feels like a like a

3:11

Netflix or Hallmark Irish

3:13

film. Yeah, it does but terrible,

3:15

but it's all I mean like

3:18

those are also terrible But

3:20

this is aggressively mediocre in

3:22

a way That you

3:24

know, I don't think Ireland deserves

3:26

independence because of this film I

3:29

honestly don't know much about Ireland's

3:31

politics that didn't also happen in

3:33

the Liam Neeson movie Michael Collins

3:36

So I don't think I'm qualified

3:38

to speak on their independence But

3:40

I sort of loved this movie

3:42

But like a lot of for

3:44

the similar reasons because it is

3:47

it is the same movie you've

3:49

seen a million Times it's

3:51

the trope of is it girl

3:53

has to go find her man

3:56

or man has to go find

3:58

his girl and then When they

4:00

are partnered with their preferred

4:03

sexual preference and they fall

4:05

in love with that person while going

4:07

to find their actual fiance or boyfriend

4:09

or girlfriend or whatever. Like there's a

4:12

bunch of those movies and

4:14

this is I think

4:16

a very fun lazy version

4:18

of that because

4:20

this director just wanted to go

4:23

see Ireland. So he

4:25

went to the blacklist and bought

4:27

the cheapest rom-com script he could

4:29

find and found and replaced the

4:31

setting to A Place in

4:33

Ireland and I love that

4:36

about this movie and honestly

4:38

it's beautiful. Like the scenery

4:40

is beautiful. Is it? Because

4:42

I feel like this movie is shot

4:44

so mediocrely that it

4:46

makes Ireland look ugly and

4:48

made Ireland look boring. Yes!

4:51

I thought it was beautiful. Y'all are crazy. Here's

4:54

the thing, I know Ireland is in

4:56

actuality beautiful. It is not beautiful in

4:58

this film. So the

5:00

reason I wrote the note we sort

5:02

of both wrote page was because of

5:05

like somewhat like the landscape shots are like

5:07

I thought they were great. Like I literally

5:09

thought to myself I gotta go to Ireland

5:11

at some point. You've been haven't you? No

5:14

I went to UK Scotland

5:16

not Ireland. I'm going to

5:18

Wales in April but gotta

5:20

go to Ireland. It's

5:23

just so bad. It's just so like

5:25

Amy Adams is so charismatic

5:28

but yet they drained it. It's

5:30

like she there's a gun to her head outside

5:32

the camera making her read the lines. Well

5:34

also her character is so

5:37

unlikable. She is very unlikable.

5:39

There's no chemistry between the leads.

5:41

Not at all. It's

5:43

just so mediocre in a way that

5:45

and like none of the jokes land

5:48

and they don't even land and like

5:50

this is so bad it makes me

5:52

uncomfortable and laughs a lot. It was

5:54

just like I so much have to

5:56

disagree with you on the jokes don't

5:58

land. joke in this

6:01

movie that if someone said that in

6:03

that context, I would

6:05

stand up and slow clap them out of the

6:07

room. Just because of like,

6:09

the presence of mind, it would

6:11

take someone who has just been

6:13

emotionally broken after flying 3000 miles

6:16

to make the worst decision in her

6:18

life. The presence

6:21

of mind for that to go so poorly

6:23

that she thinks the dude she wants to

6:25

be with just fucking walked out of the

6:27

room when she confessed her love. And

6:29

then having the presence of mind to be like, I

6:32

guess that's an Irish no. And

6:34

I was like, I booed. I

6:36

booed. I love it. I agree.

6:38

That was one of the things I thought of

6:40

when I was like, this is bad. It's so

6:43

fucking funny to me that she would say that

6:45

in that moment. That was one of the worst

6:47

jokes in this movie. I loved it.

6:50

It's so funny. Todd, because it

6:52

only works in the context of

6:54

a binary of the phrase that's

6:56

known. Right. Like it's

6:59

Irish goodbye is the phrase that

7:01

everyone's familiar with. I know. You

7:03

can't just be like Irish no. That

7:05

doesn't it would have to be Irish hello

7:07

or Irish goodbye. Irish no means

7:09

fucking nothing. Also it would be

7:12

insane to see that in the real work.

7:14

Like if I was in that restaurant, I

7:16

would be like just slowly eating and watching

7:18

the whole thing. It's

7:21

like the combination of I like,

7:23

I don't know the facts of the case or anything.

7:26

This is all headcanon for me. But

7:28

like the director just finding a rom

7:30

com and finding and replacing the setting

7:32

with Ireland and then also like trying

7:35

to build up to a moment that

7:37

is very formulaic in every rom com

7:39

like this. It's just like

7:41

a low energy putting

7:43

in a joke in that

7:45

moment to me was so

7:48

funny. It's not even a joke

7:50

Todd. It's not even a joke to call

7:52

that a joke is too much. I

7:55

thought it was awesome. If your

7:57

movie is going to be this bad.

8:00

sex scenes need to be

8:02

outrageous. What? Sex scenes? Exactly,

8:04

Todd. Mikey, they kiss

8:06

once in a situation where like, they sorta

8:09

had to, like I get it, but

8:11

they say that they kiss one other time at

8:13

the end, right, that's it. Yeah. Like

8:16

they don't have sex. But that's what I'm saying. I'm like,

8:18

I've never seen Amy Adams soaking

8:21

wet and been so unsexual. And

8:23

like, I've never, like there's just,

8:25

everything in this movie screams like

8:28

asexual. I don't like it. I don't even

8:30

know just like, I don't even know how

8:32

to describe it. I do sort of think

8:34

this movie is not interested in sex at

8:36

all. This, yeah, no, this movie is like

8:39

two friends who are really boring. You know

8:41

what I'm saying? I predicted the

8:43

movie from moments in and

8:45

I was never again surprised

8:47

or anything. Which I'm fine

8:49

with. I'm fine with that. I'm not

8:51

fine with that, but okay. But that is

8:53

like the formula of movie. That's what I

8:56

mean. Like they are, we are doing

8:58

that movie. Here is the Ireland version

9:00

of that, low, effortlessly written. And I

9:02

thought that shit was hilarious. I

9:05

could, it was driving me nuts. Cause I'm like,

9:07

look, if you're going to do planes, trains and

9:09

automobiles in a world where planes, trains and automobiles

9:12

fucking exist, they have

9:14

to either have so much chemistry that

9:16

you're like, why the fuck would she

9:18

even go to Dublin? Like of course stay with this

9:20

man that looks suspiciously like an owl. And once you

9:23

see it, you can't unsee it. But

9:25

no, there's no, right,

9:27

God? Are you talking

9:29

to Adam Scott? Holy shit, you broke

9:31

my mind. No, I'm talking about the

9:33

other guy, Matthew Goode. Look at

9:35

his face. All I see is owl.

9:38

He has owl ancestors. Hang on, Google

9:40

it. Anyway, if you're going to

9:42

do that, they have to have so much

9:44

chemistry that it overrides the fact that we

9:46

all know what's going to happen. Cause otherwise

9:49

I have no reason to watch this movie.

9:51

I'm like, this is no new information. They're

9:53

not interesting. Literally, it's almost like

9:55

nothing happens. That's why I felt like it was

9:57

a slideshow. It was just pictures of Irish.

10:00

In front of my face, and it was beautiful. I

10:02

know nothing about the main

10:04

characters except that he likes to

10:07

cook It's cuz they don't tell us anything exactly

10:09

they had no conversation. I didn't realize

10:11

he was a chef I thought he

10:13

just owned a bar slash in in

10:16

rural Ireland Well, I thought she made

10:18

a joke about it But he became

10:20

one while she was engaged and he killed

10:22

their pet in the process like that that's what they

10:24

set up He just

10:26

randomly killed a chicken without asking and you

10:28

have no idea what their relationship with that

10:31

kitten chicken was sorry I thought you

10:33

met 80 Amy Adams in his pet

10:35

you mean like the B&B owners pet

10:37

yes He does murder their pet I

10:39

was fully waiting for them to be like

10:42

go have this and then served it as

10:44

dinner page horrifying That

10:47

was my favorite part. It was the most action that

10:49

we saw on the film It wasn't actually found

10:51

itself, but here's the thing it's like

10:54

Literally and I know again I

10:57

know Ireland's beautiful But I didn't want to just

10:59

sit and look at pictures of Ireland for an

11:01

hour and a half Why would

11:03

I do that and especially not even

11:05

shot? Well? It's shot? Okay at best

11:07

in fact a huge

11:09

portion of his green screen and obviously

11:12

green screen to the point where it's

11:15

Distracting to watch and it's all color

11:17

corrected yellow for some reason and I'm

11:19

like why would you do that? I

11:22

don't know for being fucking green Whatever

11:26

when they're on the cliff edge yeah,

11:28

oh every shot like the fucking Shire

11:31

the whole thing No, cuz the Shire

11:33

looks better like that would be New

11:35

Zealand Yeah, although I Ireland

11:37

very Shire like yeah But like that

11:40

that color correct if you color corrected

11:42

this to look like a Lord of

11:44

the Rings It would look better because

11:46

right it's so weird And they're trying

11:49

to go for like every hour is

11:51

magic hour and trying to adjust the

11:53

lights to that no it just looks

11:55

Bunkers this whole movie. She's washed out

11:58

the entire time. She If

12:00

she's wearing a stitch of makeup, you

12:03

can't tell because it's just

12:05

all awash. When I tell you the production

12:07

budget, you're gonna be so mad. I'm gonna

12:09

be serious. Does it look like it was

12:12

shot on DSLRs? Yes, it does. At a

12:14

budget where they could have shot it on

12:16

film. Like they could have. Yes. Anyway, we'll

12:18

talk about it when we get to the

12:20

box office. Sorry, but yeah. What do y'all

12:23

think about her wild transatlantic accent, I think?

12:25

That doesn't bother me as much. I honestly

12:27

don't know how she normally sounds. Like, she's

12:30

like, hello, I'm here to look for someone

12:32

in Ireland. Yes. I mean, I just shocked

12:34

it up to her character being

12:36

real annoying. Like they give us nothing

12:38

to like about her. It's bonkers. I

12:40

love Amy Adams. This movie's got her super charming. She's

12:43

great. I love it. What is wrong with you?

12:45

She is actively almost a villain in this

12:47

movie, Tom. I know, but that's like... No,

12:49

she is a villain. In the trope that

12:51

we are watching be played out in Ireland,

12:53

she was always gonna be the villain. Adam

12:56

Scott, like I literally wrote in my notes,

12:58

Adam Scott seems kind of nice, but they're

13:00

together in the beginning. So he's probably a

13:02

dirtbag because that's the trope. Well, he was

13:04

a dirtbag at the end. They don't

13:06

make him enough of a dirtbag to make us

13:08

hate him and they do it at the wrong

13:11

time. So it's pace crazy. But also, if this

13:13

is plane trains and automobiles, she's

13:15

Steve Martin, who is not a

13:17

villain. He's just frustrated. And that's

13:20

what this movie completely misunderstands, where

13:22

they give her such unlikable trades

13:24

that you're like, no one should

13:27

want to travel with this woman.

13:30

She is a nightmare. And not just

13:32

like a fun quirky nightmare, like in

13:34

Romancing the Stone, which is also basically

13:36

this movie. That's a version that

13:38

works, right? Where it's like, Bad

13:40

situation, you're frustrated because of the bad situation.

13:42

This One, she first of all created her

13:45

own bonkers situation that she now has to

13:47

get out of. And She is a fucking

13:49

nightmare to every single person who tries to

13:51

help her. On Top of it, the whole

13:53

movie is based on this thing of like,

13:56

women can only ask people to marry them

13:58

one day out of the year. Let's

14:04

not go that far. Women agency?

14:06

I don't think so. Maids Blaze

14:09

this is Sue Thousands had my

14:11

own check. every store little. And

14:14

a point where you're right I do

14:16

think so. Like if that is an

14:18

actual Iris tradition. That's. Awesome. Love

14:20

it. Cool. I don't know that it

14:22

is, I've never heard of that, but

14:25

cool. I like it. I would even

14:27

like it's like if she actually did

14:29

that and like the movie as it

14:31

up with her proposing to someone on

14:33

leap. That's because they're playing up the

14:35

Trope at least. That. It is

14:37

a tradition or whatever, but they

14:39

them don't do that. It. Is it

14:42

is a real tradition and okay to

14:44

a historical event. Cool. And it's not

14:46

just that only day like in in

14:48

history or that only day but now

14:51

it's like you would do it like

14:53

symbolically on that day to honor see

14:55

Bridget of Kill Their but whatever. But

14:57

also. Like. To propose whatever the

14:59

fuck you want, like. Weather. Isn't

15:02

whatever Galaxy were born like? I don't think

15:04

the best the headers yeah anymore but like

15:06

yeah I did think the premises gotta get

15:08

out of they treat John Lithgow in the

15:11

coming for ten minutes dodd the fact that

15:13

they got Johnny Lithium in this movie for

15:15

like they literally were like john all your

15:17

seems are in a bar he was like

15:19

on there. Are you caesar A bargain

15:21

Or three lines and and later in the

15:23

movie we're going to find out via her

15:25

exposition dump in the middle of a chicken

15:27

coop. That. You are basically break dance

15:30

dad which is the new tic toc scandal

15:32

and then we're never going to come

15:34

back to it for your reference because

15:36

I'm the one who has been for

15:38

mighty and thought. About more tic tacs

15:40

get out. sorry I forgot that like

15:42

see totally six months suffer lived out

15:44

their efforts to see that's what at

15:46

all the bleed yes sell me about

15:49

step the a break their that or

15:51

whatever they would rate. Is break his

15:53

dad's homeroom. Also if you are a tix hackers

15:55

and you're listening just what I just letting you

15:57

know I already told them about recent he said

15:59

the day now. Break. The instead of the

16:02

new one. Break. The Of Dad came about

16:04

because this one girl posted a tick tock

16:06

in the like, intending to start a thread.

16:08

Basically, And was like hey

16:10

if you have trauma in your

16:12

life that's actually kind of funny.

16:14

Now the of distance from it

16:16

let me know. Here's mine: My

16:18

dad left my mom with four

16:20

kids with no legs. Basically he

16:23

didn't have any custody. He just

16:25

left their family to become a

16:27

semi professional. Briggs Dance Around is like

16:29

sixty years old. Has anything been on

16:31

Tv would say? Talk is. I saw

16:33

this a week ago on Reddit. That's.

16:35

Right? gather the for it like to

16:38

they pose they cross posted a w

16:40

not a rebuttal. So. Like he

16:42

brings his dad is like shows up in like

16:44

know. I mean I didn't leave them but whatever.

16:46

And he's in a full dress shirt with Bitcoin

16:49

logo on it in case you wonder. Who. Are

16:52

wondering what this con artist is up to

16:54

now with. And

16:56

and people are like Su Wei, you really left

16:58

your family to become a break. The answer Any

17:01

like a good M T V. Flights

17:04

but that sounds like. When. She's like

17:06

my mood go Tried to open

17:08

like a mobile. Hotel or as a

17:10

these different things I just wasted or. Money and

17:12

he was in a bubble hotel. And

17:14

I I want to remind you this

17:16

is two thousand and ten. She's probably

17:18

twenty five, right? So this was probably

17:20

ten years ago. In the year two

17:23

thousand you. Wouldn't when she was like

17:25

a teenager. Yeah, exactly that dude. Want

17:27

her dad wanted to start? or

17:29

mobile blockbuster? More or less like

17:31

they. They have little than what

17:33

it sees as a mobile video

17:35

rental store. Like I can't imagine

17:37

a worse business model and or

17:39

time for that business. And then she

17:41

had to support the family with her money. with

17:44

her to job i thought about that

17:46

today when i was reading this film

17:48

bit i was like hudler want to

17:50

give my money to the corporate overlords

17:53

as amazon or the corporate overlords at

17:55

microsoft or the corporate overlords at apple

17:57

and i would like in a lot

18:00

Maybe Blockbuster shouldn't have gone away. Well, I mean,

18:02

they should have. I don't think they were

18:04

ever caught up with like, you know who's getting the, who's

18:07

rewinding the cassette shapes? Child labor.

18:10

No, but there were other things. There's

18:12

some really interesting documentaries about it. About

18:14

Blockbuster? Did y'all not watch the Blockbuster

18:16

documentaries? Of course I did. I don't

18:18

know why we're talking about it. Oh,

18:20

okay. I was gonna say, I was

18:22

like, what, those are super interesting. They

18:24

are. Anyway, all this to

18:26

say, this movie had not enough of anything.

18:29

I agree with Mikey. It's not good enough

18:31

to be enjoyed because it's good. It's

18:33

not bad enough to be enjoyed in a

18:35

cringe way. And it made Ireland look

18:37

yellow. And Matthew Goode looks like an owl.

18:40

I'm not saying he's not attractive. He just

18:42

definitely looks part owl. Paige would fuck

18:44

that owl. Counterpoint to what Paige just said

18:46

though. Sort of loved the low effort nature

18:48

of this movie. And honestly would love to

18:50

see the director's slideshow when he got home.

18:54

I think we did. I think that's what this

18:56

was. I don't think he killer corrected

18:58

that. He was like, I saw Amy Adams on

19:00

vacation. Mikey, I heard what you said. I

19:02

don't think they color corrected anything in this movie.

19:05

No, they absolutely did. And they did

19:07

it badly. You tell me in fun facts

19:09

that they didn't film in Ireland. I would believe

19:11

you. They filmed on a green

19:13

set. I mean, that could be. Cause

19:15

there's some, there's a lot of screen in

19:17

this movie. There's a lot of green screen

19:19

in this movie. No, it's really bad. I

19:21

guess my point to the color correcting page

19:24

is there is no color palette to this

19:26

movie. There's not a cohesive color palette.

19:29

There isn't intentionality thought into the color

19:31

scheme of it, which you should if

19:33

you're gonna be showing off greenery. I

19:36

think they do, but it looks

19:38

like your friends posted a photo

19:40

on Facebook. It looks like my

19:42

grass outside. It looks bad. But

19:45

here's the thing. It

19:47

reminds me of in film school when people are

19:49

first learning how to edit and they just edit

19:51

each shot and they don't really think shot to

19:54

shot to try and make the shots match. And

19:56

so every shot looks okay

19:59

on its own. But

20:01

then together it all doesn't this

20:03

this movie absolutely did that they

20:05

did not have a cohesive color

20:07

palette to contrast to Rylane last

20:09

week that was like chef's choice

20:12

Beautifully shot this

20:15

it was not at all Rylane is a

20:17

fucking baller movie if you didn't listen to

20:19

that episode because you didn't remember didn't watch

20:21

the movie Watch the movie and then listen

20:23

to the episode because it's a great fucking

20:25

movie. Oh my god There's even

20:27

worse green screen than I thought Cuz

20:30

I just pulled up fun facts to double check and I was like

20:32

I thought they did Film in Ireland,

20:34

but I'm just gonna double check while Mikey's bringing

20:36

it up and That

20:38

castle they climb up to First

20:41

of all the one that they walk when they're

20:43

walking around it They just found a random ruin and

20:45

had them walk around but when it's on the hill

20:47

They just CGI that in only just cut and pasted

20:49

a picture of a castle onto that hill like

20:52

yeah It's it's pretty low effort

20:54

like yeah, okay How

20:57

this movie is shot with cameras

20:59

it looks like teletubby land That

21:12

the Sun does randomly it looks like it

21:14

oh my god, give me to the capital

21:16

of teletopia Oh via I've gotta be my

21:18

fiance. I Have a

21:21

very important question to ask you guys

21:23

that's like on track at least okay,

21:25

do you think Declan and Kaylee

21:28

the night that uh, Adam Scott

21:30

and Amy out of the Gini gauge

21:33

when he meets her at the bar And he gets the

21:35

ring back. Do you think he

21:37

also tore that up from the floor

21:39

up that night? I

21:42

that's a good question. I

21:44

think like the rest of this movie.

21:46

It was aggressively mediocre But

21:51

so but I guess the answer to my question

21:53

is yes, they did have sex I don't know

21:55

maybe I don't know you look like

21:57

she was down when she got to the bar She

22:00

did and she does come up like hey Declan. I

22:02

never thought I'd see you again So it does seem

22:04

that way and he does get the ring back and

22:06

unless she like had it on her Yeah,

22:10

I was thinking that too. Yeah, she might she might

22:12

have she was cute So what Mikey is saying

22:15

is he would have and listen Mikey you wouldn't

22:17

be in the wrong to the girl You just

22:19

had a connection with just got engaged and went

22:21

back to America I think I think there are

22:23

some partners who utterly destroy you that even when

22:25

they return the ring and offer it up You're

22:27

gonna be like no. Thanks. I think I don't

22:30

want to cry during sex today. Thank you. That

22:32

could be I always wait till after Um,

22:35

I think that they obviously both of them

22:37

make a terrible decision at the end of

22:40

this movie, but everyone does Yeah, yeah, but

22:42

maybe we should just go through it scene

22:44

by scene so we can like get there

22:46

cool We open on a

22:49

weird weird montage that seems solely

22:51

designed to make us hate Amy

22:53

Adams Because it's literally

22:55

her doing the bougiest rich bitch

22:58

shit possible and then nitpicking people

23:00

That's the entire montage her being

23:02

like I want this fancy apartment.

23:04

No do the hem, right? No,

23:06

I need that. No, don't talk

23:08

to me at the bar like

23:10

it's Absurd and

23:13

it goes on for ten whole minutes

23:15

Well, I mean because it's not all a montage

23:17

like we do get some Yeah,

23:20

but I mean all of those scenes

23:22

are just like longer sections of the

23:24

montage They just showed us yes is

23:26

an interesting choice I will say normally

23:28

you montage into scenes and then you

23:30

live in the scene Right don't like

23:32

montage a bunch of scenes that were

23:34

about to see later. It was wild

23:37

It was a real weird real real

23:39

weird choice again I didn't hate it But

23:42

you are just like finding out that

23:44

Amy Adams is like a Boston City

23:46

girl She is hoping to

23:48

get engaged and for some reason they

23:50

cast a bird as her best friend

23:54

Giant ostrich I Was

23:57

sad that she was only in this movie for two lines I

24:00

was like, no, D save us from

24:02

this movie. Me too. I

24:04

forget her real name. Hang on. Caitlyn.

24:06

Caitlyn Olsen, that's what it is. Yeah, Caitlyn Olsen.

24:09

If you don't understand what we're saying, Caitlyn

24:11

Olsen is in this movie and she's way

24:13

underutilized. But probably because they were like, Caitlyn,

24:15

we're gonna film in Philadelphia where you're already

24:17

gonna be for those two days that you're

24:20

needed on this movie. Here's a million dollars,

24:22

or whatever her salary was, I don't know.

24:24

There's no way it was that much. But I would

24:26

have killed if she would have just walked into that,

24:28

because she's like trying on a dress because she thinks

24:31

she's gonna get engaged that night. Yes. And

24:33

she's just like, what up, white stains? I would have

24:35

loved that. She's actually trying on the dress that she

24:37

wears later that night. Yep, well, she's

24:39

having it hemmed, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

24:41

Which is, I think, boojier than like, this

24:44

is gonna be my wedding dress. Of course,

24:46

I want it to fit perfectly. You know

24:48

what I'm saying? Like, I realize

24:50

it's a bit premature to have that four year

24:52

wedding dress not being engaged, but it felt boojie

24:55

to be like, hey, I have to go to

24:57

dinner tonight early because I have to stop by

24:59

my seamstress, or a seamster,

25:01

or whatever you call it, a guy version

25:03

of that. It's a tailor. This is why

25:06

we shouldn't start recording at 10 o'clock at

25:08

night. I don't care what his first name

25:10

is, Paige. I care about his profession. Thank

25:12

you, Mikey. But, I mean, here's the

25:14

thing. As a short person who frequently has

25:17

to have things altered, sometimes that's just a

25:19

part of it, but because the movie has

25:21

set her up as being so exacting,

25:24

and she kicks this Taylor twice.

25:27

The Taylor low-key hates her,

25:29

and telegraphs to us, we should hate

25:31

her, which is, this is the moment

25:33

I knew exactly what the plot of

25:36

the movie was, because all of these

25:38

movies start with a character

25:40

who needs something in her life

25:42

that they don't realize, right,

25:45

and that is to make

25:47

terrible decisions with someone you don't

25:50

really know. Okay, but like, let's

25:52

go through other characters in this kind of a

25:54

scenario, in this kind of movie, right? Steve Martin's

25:56

trying to get home to his family, and he

25:58

can't, because he spent... What? I

26:00

have a question. Do Steve Martin and

26:02

John Candy make out in that

26:04

movie? No, but they do have

26:06

more sexual chemistry. Yes. And

26:09

it's essentially, it's

26:11

the blueprint for this movie of Steve

26:13

Martin has been a workaholic and has not spent

26:16

enough time with his family and now he's desperately

26:18

trying to get back to them, right? Right, right.

26:20

John Candy upends all of it. But then of

26:22

course you find out that John Candy has no

26:24

family, so he values the connection that

26:27

Steve Martin has not. Because he's a family annihilator,

26:29

I forgot. Of course. But...

26:33

I'm so sorry, that's terrible. But

26:35

that's the flip, it happens in every one of

26:37

those movies, right? So like... Yeah, because Amy

26:39

Adams killed her entire family before she

26:41

came to Ireland. No, I mean, Amy

26:44

Adams is an unrepentant bitch for the

26:46

first, like, quarter of this movie and

26:48

then we later find out that Matthew

26:50

Goode also lost someone. I think romancing

26:52

the stone's a good analog because we

26:54

find out that Kathleen Turner is just

26:56

lonely and doesn't date and is sad

26:58

and doesn't get out of her own

27:00

way. But she is

27:02

likeable and compassionate in that way. I

27:05

would argue that in Romancing the Stone, which

27:07

I do think is the better version of

27:09

this type of trope, right? Yes. In Romancing

27:11

the Stone, the asshole who needs to find

27:13

something is not Kathleen Turner, it's Michael Douglas.

27:16

And I think that's better because

27:18

we're supposed to follow Kathleen Turner.

27:20

We're supposed to be following and

27:22

liking Amy Adams in this movie

27:24

and she's kicking tailors and being

27:26

like, Oh, I'll have

27:29

the more expensive engagement ring. Thank

27:31

you. Yes, we would like this

27:33

apartment that you actively exclude people

27:36

from renting. I literally, my

27:38

first notice, like, wow, this movie

27:40

starts off with like a super

27:42

racist, like, thing that actually exists

27:45

where, like, you have to be interviewed

27:47

by the co-op board of the apartment

27:49

building, which is hella gatekeeper-y. And you

27:52

know who commonly gets gatekept out? Yes,

27:54

people of color. They don't address any of those

27:56

issues. They use that like it's a status quo.

28:00

symbol of wouldn't you like to

28:02

live here because Because

28:05

I'm laughing because it's like truly terrible and

28:07

this movie does not even address it and

28:09

that to me is so funny It does

28:12

sort of feel like this movie was written

28:14

in like 92. Yes, because

28:16

it would be weirder for her team

28:22

I'm so sorry. I wasn't clear. You're right.

28:24

I was thinking late 80s like peak

28:27

Capitalism chic 80s is where this

28:30

character belongs because we also we

28:32

don't learn anything about her except

28:34

that she's a furniture Stager which

28:37

is a real and very valuable job by

28:39

the way like that's not bullshit They staged

28:41

my house before I bought it and

28:44

I have an entry table because I

28:46

really liked how that entry table looked

28:48

when they Staged that you know who

28:50

doesn't need a stager at all

28:53

the entire town of dingle where

28:55

they're gonna be living At the

28:57

end of this move. She is

28:59

mentally moving across the country or

29:01

world. They're they're famous for their

29:03

berries Have

29:07

you read dingleberry tea page

29:09

it's all the rage. No,

29:11

yes, that concludes the jokes I

29:13

have written for today Dingleberry

29:17

tea is the tea Ireland sells England

29:19

it sticks with you page That's

29:22

their marketing. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, you can

29:24

eat it with biscuits God

29:27

anyway for the famine here's some

29:29

dingleberry tea So all we see of

29:32

her is if you should have rotated crops.

29:34

Oh, maybe they shouldn't have systematically

29:36

killed It's

29:41

mine all we see is

29:43

her being mean to service workers

29:46

trying to get this bougie apartment

29:48

Lording her potential expensive engagement

29:51

ring over her other friend

29:53

and then kicking a tailor

29:55

It was and we're supposed

29:57

to be like that's right

30:00

All we learn about her is that she wants

30:02

to get married. We don't hear her being like,

30:04

I love him so much and I just can't

30:06

wait to plan my life with him. It is

30:08

fully a statuses. She just wants to, she wants

30:11

the ring to have the ring. That's it. It's

30:13

nuts. At the end of this movie when

30:15

she leaves Adam Scott for this dude, I

30:17

was like, good for Adam Scott. Not that

30:19

he's like a great dude or anything. I

30:21

do feel like he was a little disconnected

30:23

from their relationship on some level, but. He's

30:25

not a bad enough dude for this movie.

30:27

Right. He's not great, but not like at

30:29

the end of the movie, like I just

30:31

faked being engaged to get the apartment. I

30:33

was like, oh, that's kind of shitty. Yeah,

30:35

that is shitty. I will agree. I also

30:38

will say he doesn't say I

30:40

just faked being engaged to get this apartment.

30:42

He says it made me think, why aren't

30:44

we married? And then I know to

30:47

marry me. That's not terrible.

30:49

I mean, it could be way

30:51

worse. Consider that in these in

30:53

these scenes, the way I

30:55

thought this was going to go,

30:57

because if I was writing this

30:59

movie, this is what would happen.

31:01

Right. Her that bird she's friends

31:03

with. Caitlin, she's awesome. And

31:05

a lovely lady. It's just a it's

31:08

a funny Philadelphia reference. Sorry. She

31:10

tells her that she saw him at a very expensive

31:12

jewelry store with a bag. And that kind of brings

31:14

her to this like, oh, he's going to ask me

31:16

to marry me. I thought for sure they were going

31:18

to go to dinner and there was going to be

31:20

no jewelry because he was cheating on her and it

31:22

was for the mistress. That's what I thought

31:24

was going to happen. Way to

31:27

make Adam Scott a villain right up front.

31:29

And that's honestly what you need for me

31:31

to want her to fall in love with

31:33

this other dude. Yes, because then she goes on

31:35

an eat, pray, love journey of self

31:37

discovery and falls in love with an Irish guy. And

31:39

who hasn't done that? So like, of course. But

31:42

instead, it's like it's earrings. And

31:44

then she's like pissed off that

31:47

he bought her diamond earrings for

31:49

just because for just because

31:51

it's not her birthday. He just gave her

31:53

diamond earrings to be like, I love you.

31:55

Here's some diamond earrings. This is going to

31:57

sound insane. I thought this is an incredible.

32:00

Thoughtful gift because it was not her

32:02

birthday or Valentine's Day or whatever He

32:04

said you planned so much of our

32:06

life and I am so busy I

32:08

have a crazy schedule and I like

32:10

really appreciate that so I got you

32:12

this Yeah, and she of course thinks

32:15

it's gonna be a proposal So I

32:17

do understand emotionally why she's let down

32:19

by getting two diamonds in that one

32:21

But sure like that's a thoughtful gift if

32:23

you want to get married Let's communicate that

32:25

cuz like at the end of this movie

32:27

He who admittedly is like

32:30

disconnected cuz he's a surgeon and busy and

32:32

stuff and has a crazy schedule Sure, he

32:34

hadn't thought about that yet. But when he

32:36

did he was like, why the fuck are

32:38

we married? I love this way, right? So

32:40

like I think that one of the problems

32:42

I have about this movie But it makes

32:44

it laughable to me is that like he's

32:46

a pretty good guy like there's really not

32:48

that much wrong with him at all I

32:50

think he's gonna find someone Immediately

32:52

who's like not who's better for him.

32:55

I feel like I do think he's

32:57

boring Well sure I sure I think

32:59

he's busy Yeah But that's not

33:01

a reason to just completely leave and

33:03

cheat on somebody and be mad that

33:05

they bought you diamond earring Yeah,

33:09

I would be pissed if Natalie did that to

33:11

me too. Everyone in this film is unlikable though

33:13

So like I want to blame her but like

33:15

I think the guy is just as unlikable Oh,

33:17

you mean the guy she meets in Ireland? Yes,

33:19

he is also not likeable You're only saying

33:21

that because he was like an asshole the whole time. Yeah,

33:23

he's an asshole And

33:27

I just like once I saw it I couldn't see

33:30

it looks like an owl page Don't

33:32

you shake your head at me Mike? It's like when Mikey

33:34

saw the Jacob Elordi looks like the

33:36

Green Goblin This is my

33:39

green goblin is a Matthew Goode kind

33:41

of looks like an owl. We can't talk

33:43

about that anymore We got a cease and desist

33:45

from Goblin Corp. I Think

33:47

you mean off-corp if you I can't

33:49

even I can't even like deal with

33:51

this guy who taught. Yeah, who taught?

33:55

Him being an owl to turn to a person would make

33:57

sense as he doesn't know how to treat other human beings

34:00

and he's always coughing up bones. Well,

34:02

he does kill that. He kills the chicken. He

34:04

kills that chicken. And here's, I do wanna say,

34:06

look, I understand that

34:08

in order to eat chicken, you have to kill

34:10

them. I'm not dumb. I don't have to. Yeah,

34:13

I don't. Here's the thing. It is also

34:15

like a farm, so I understand that maybe

34:17

those would have been chickens for them to

34:19

eat. That is not established, though. That's not

34:22

established. At no point does he clarify that

34:24

with them. He doesn't ask them. That might've

34:26

been one of their lay-in chickens. And now

34:28

they come out and they're like, there's no

34:30

eggs. You're not gonna have no eggs for

34:33

the winter. He just picked up a random

34:35

one and killed it. I was like, you should have

34:37

checked first. That would be like me

34:39

walking next door. My neighbor has five chickens,

34:42

and I just snatched one up, broke

34:44

its neck, and served them their chicken

34:46

page. Yeah, that was bonkers

34:48

to me. I would never do that to

34:50

my neighbors. I barely know them. I

34:52

think they probably had that conversation off

34:54

camera, which is a poor choice. But

34:58

they had that conversation. They should've just included that

35:00

part. We have chickens out back. Yeah, if

35:02

they had just said we have chickens out back, then

35:05

I would've been like, of course. She's gonna

35:07

be grossed out, but that's how you get chicken.

35:09

Anyway, I was more worried that they were gonna

35:11

be like, Mr. Kluckers on the table.

35:14

That would've been hilarious, and I would've

35:16

loved it. I also don't think

35:18

Paige knows where you get chicken. From

35:21

the freezer section? I

35:23

actually did sort of think that was funny, because that's

35:25

where I get my chicken, because I

35:27

have a grocery store. But don't chickens

35:30

come from eggs, Paige? They do, well,

35:32

which came first? Doesn't a

35:34

mama chicken lay the egg, and

35:36

then the rooster comes in and

35:38

gives that egg the business? I

35:41

don't know. Life finds a way.

35:43

Think that. That's how it happens, right?

35:45

I don't know enough to know about

35:48

that. Is that how it happens? I

35:50

think they're fertilized inside the chicken. 100%,

35:53

it is just the rooster coming up next

35:56

to it. Like, bop, bop, bop, bop. No,

35:59

no, no. I've been feeling

36:01

fried baby Fried

36:04

chicken thighs and a

36:06

breast meat And

36:08

if you want biscuits baby

36:13

Ow! I'm a fuck that egg! Weird,

36:16

weird. Anyway Mikey you were saying? Now

36:18

all I'm doing is picturing the rooster

36:21

from Robin Hood the cartoon singing this

36:23

song right before he enters an egg

36:25

You can't enter an egg it would

36:27

crack- okay this whole conversation Robin Hood

36:29

and Little John- what if it was

36:31

rock-a-doodle? Is

36:34

that a musical? He does have a guitar page Cock-a-doodle

36:37

sunny day you big old little

36:39

rain cloud Not cry out loud

36:41

with his voice of mine How

36:44

are you not gonna fuck that rooster if you're an egg?

36:46

You know what I'm saying? That's a sexy rooster! Oh

36:49

my god. Mikey you know that's how

36:51

eggs happen or chickens happen. I'm like

36:53

really confident that's not how they happen

36:56

Oh are you a farmer all of

36:58

a sudden? Did you go to school

37:00

for animal husbandry? It's called husbandry bro

37:03

I think basic critical thinking has led

37:05

me in this path of saying that

37:07

you can't fuck an egg I

37:10

will fuck an egg tonight! I'ma

37:13

prove you wrong Gwyneth Paltrow has tried to

37:15

sell me many jade ones But

37:17

I'm pretty sure that I'm supposed to like pop

37:19

them up in there I can't. Now all

37:21

I want to see is someone like animate that

37:23

The rooster from the- I don't want to see

37:26

that No I mean like as

37:28

a bit like having the rooster from Robin

37:30

Hood who already plays guitar like serenading an

37:32

egg! Anyway it's just a ridiculous

37:34

thought and in truth I don't fucking know

37:36

when they fuck them It's

37:39

a weird intrusive egg thought It's kind of like

37:41

that I think you should leave sketch where he

37:43

plays the egg video game and he's like Does

37:45

this egg have a bush? Inappropriate

37:47

to watch pornography at work You

37:50

can watch a little pornography

37:52

at work You can't though,

37:54

don't Hehehe you can't, you can't.

37:56

You're looking at a nude egg

37:59

Anyway so Amy Adams seems

38:01

materialistic and not great for most

38:03

of the movie. It's kind of

38:05

weird. Anyway, but so she talks

38:07

to her dad before dinner, John

38:09

Lithgow, Johnny Lithies, and he's like,

38:12

I'm an alien, but I'm a

38:14

human. Like, you know, the full third rock.

38:16

Just a little after third rock from the sun,

38:18

but like, you know. Not too long after,

38:20

but he's like, hey, there's this weird

38:22

tradition in Ireland where if you ask,

38:24

like, you as a lady can ask

38:26

a man, a manly man

38:28

who normally gets to make all the decisions

38:31

to marry you on leap day. Did we mention

38:33

this movie was written in 1892 originally? Yeah,

38:36

yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he is,

38:38

like, that is what he's

38:41

saying. And he's like, grandma did it or

38:43

whatever. Like, she popped the question on a

38:45

grandad, and she sorted it out all on

38:47

leap day. Which I think, okay. And

38:49

they got married. I think, yeah, exactly. I

38:51

think that it's a super cute premise for

38:54

a movie. I think that it goes without

38:56

saying that you should be able to propose

38:58

at any point, no matter your gender, or

39:00

whatever. But if, like, your grandma did it,

39:02

and like, you wanted to get married, and

39:04

you were like, well, fuck it. He's gonna

39:06

be in Ireland. I'm gonna honor Granny, and

39:09

I'm gonna go propose. Like, that's all I

39:11

need for the movie. I don't need two

39:13

minutes of Jonathan Lithgow saying, it's the one

39:15

day of the year that women are allowed

39:17

to do this. Because everyone

39:20

focuses on, like, women are allowed that

39:22

day. And here's the thing, we

39:24

established that her grandma did it, right? How much

39:26

better would this movie be if she was just,

39:29

like, I'm gonna take life by the horns, I'm

39:31

gonna do what my grandma did. I'm asking,

39:34

right? Like, I'm gonna do it. And

39:36

she's kind of following in her grandmother's

39:38

footsteps, so it realizes she wants something

39:40

different. And that's actually a part of

39:42

it. I would have been way

39:44

more into that movie instead of her being like,

39:46

this is the one day I'm allowed. And what

39:48

do you mean there's a storm in a place

39:50

that rains all the time? I was just

39:52

like, girl, it's Ireland. It's like one of

39:55

the wettest places there is. Oh,

39:58

besides Todd's mom. Boom! Help!

40:00

Boop! Boop! Your mom is

40:02

pleasured and sexually aroused! I

40:05

think you're making a joke, but like,

40:07

those sound like good things as long

40:10

as I'm not around, and it's consensual.

40:12

Your mom's needs are met! Okay, I do

40:14

want to point out, they kiss in this movie

40:16

out of the dinner table, and that's like, oh

40:18

my god, they have so much chemistry. Save it!

40:20

Save it for the scene! Yes, we gotta save

40:22

it for the scene, because we're gonna talk about

40:25

chewies when we get there. Let me

40:27

just say this then, because it's related. Once

40:29

they kiss, the next line of dialogue is,

40:31

it's really wet. It is. Because it cuts

40:33

to them in the bedroom, and he's back

40:35

in the shower. Right. And I thought that

40:38

was a funny transition. Anyway, I didn't, because

40:40

I was disgusted about how that kiss looked.

40:42

They looked like siblings, like they were terrible,

40:44

like the maybe the worst kiss I've ever

40:46

seen on screen. There was no

40:49

queso on that table, and

40:51

so it was inappropriate. Do

40:53

you get it, Todd? I mean, not only do I get

40:55

it, I saw the meme you sent us, and

40:58

it did look a little like that.

41:00

Like, I was taking a shit, and

41:02

it rolled up to that reel, and

41:04

then that camera turned back to that

41:06

guy. I've got my Instagram algorithm, like

41:08

right where I want it. You're just

41:10

so much better than Chris's. The shit

41:12

Chris sends me is like, I

41:14

get you hate your job. Like, the

41:16

shit that you send me is like,

41:19

man, Mikey's in some dark places, and

41:21

they are funny algorithms. Like,

41:24

are you all right? Shit, like, it

41:26

started sending me these like long reels, and you

41:29

cut this out, Natalie, it's whatever. Just like long

41:31

reels, and then like 45 seconds later, it's

41:33

like a 9-11 joke, and I lose my shit

41:35

every time. Dude, the

41:38

one you sent me of

41:40

like, video kit? Video

41:42

kit? No, no, this is a

41:44

long time ago, Mikey. That one was nuts too,

41:46

though. The, it was like two kids in a

41:48

car, obviously on like a first date. They probably

41:51

were like 16, 17, and they like kiss, and

41:55

they have this sweet moment, and then it

41:57

just cuts to some guy out the car.

42:00

The shooting both of their. That

42:05

fit. Like that's true. That's

42:07

a whole thing. Thought I was

42:09

like. Your odds of that

42:11

is george. I'm so glad that

42:13

mind is just adds were bases and

42:16

Jackie Brown hidden. I just knew about

42:18

how from couple to through up will

42:20

have visited so cold we need to

42:22

washroom coupled with rubble by the way

42:24

I've never. Heard of that, but I need to

42:26

know everything a million. Dollars. He thought it is

42:29

exactly what you think it. Is. Hard

42:31

but sober stuff like I go the synod,

42:33

the people and I just pause. Cause.

42:35

I'm like. Who. Could say

42:37

either. Israelites,

42:40

they will. I'm not disturbing

42:42

ruff I'd sending them this

42:44

cause I'm like or that

42:46

group said know that group

42:48

said no to the gym

42:50

group chat. I haven't

42:52

quite felt that out yet, but Leds.

42:55

I feel like my dark humor does not

42:57

get along with everyone could like our the

42:59

the dog park was over my gym friends.

43:01

They have a very elderly dog. And.

43:03

They're like he tries to pretend to be fifteen

43:05

years of the have a dog. A middle sized

43:07

dog is fifteen years old. And. It like

43:09

try to jump off a ledge. And.

43:11

Us. And. They're like always. He just wants

43:14

to proceed to be young and was like we got a rule

43:16

of suicide. I

43:21

was on my lap. Era

43:25

of what it is. I would have

43:27

walked away and laughed. At that

43:29

job. Mighty. A virus and next you I

43:31

would have doubled down and just under my breath.

43:33

Him: I wish you could set. Of

43:35

America as my aura. You

43:38

can say all the Burmese

43:40

rises. And charges on your paw

43:43

suffer as if you do not

43:45

want to be lisa again. I

43:48

would. Say.

43:52

And. Hell. Yeah Birds the

43:54

lead singer for Third Eye Blind for the

43:56

had sex with my girlfriend not my current

43:58

girlfriend. Rider succeed. This is back

44:00

when we were in college. The funny thing about

44:02

his third eye is that it's on his penis.

44:05

Mikey, he said that. He's

44:09

my new favorite singer. I should be

44:12

famous. Okay, this is a true story.

44:14

It was my college girlfriend and

44:17

they were at the stage where they were

44:20

on their way back down and they were

44:22

touring college campuses or whatever. She

44:24

ran into him at the local bar, like

44:26

college bar, and he was

44:28

trying to pick everybody up. But

44:30

he was honestly really

44:33

nice, very funny, and respectful.

44:36

She was like, when I told him I had a boyfriend, we just

44:38

chatted and he let me alone. More or less. Anyway,

44:40

it made me like his music more. Bet

44:43

he tried to have sex with my girlfriend. He's

44:46

just walking around with a semi-charm

44:48

kind of line. Baby, baby. I

44:50

actually really like Third Eye Blind.

44:53

Me too. Dude, that specific

44:55

album is so good. It's

44:57

so good. It's so good. You

44:59

want to fuck me. That's all

45:01

I would be singing if I was that guy in that bar that

45:04

night. He licked Charlize Farron's whole

45:06

face once. Who wouldn't? I

45:08

know, right? I can't even blame him for

45:10

that. I'm like, you had your opening and you took

45:12

it. Who licked her face? The least

45:14

of your Third Eye Blind licked up

45:16

her face. There's

45:19

pictures of it, I'm pretty sure. I'm good.

45:21

Yeah, all right. Unless she's dressed like

45:23

Eileen Warnos, I'm out. Oh,

45:27

you mean the only movie where

45:29

Charlize Farron's been attractive, Paige? Yeah,

45:32

Monster? Late Night

45:34

Energy. Yeah, none of

45:37

this should make any episode and all of

45:39

it will, I guarantee it. But then I

45:41

was having a weird thought, like any trucker

45:43

could become Charlize Farron if they tried hard

45:45

enough and that's not a good logic way

45:48

to go down, you know? The logic there

45:50

is a little sound though, Paige. No,

45:52

but the fact that Mike is like,

45:54

if we could make you that ugly, any of the ones that

45:59

ugly. If I took the female

46:01

trucker to prom and got her a makeover,

46:03

would she look like Charlize Theron? Paige,

46:06

here's the pitch. It's

46:09

similar to those competition reality

46:11

shows, like The Voice,

46:13

but it's just you and I,

46:15

and we pick six

46:17

truckers each, and we

46:19

get to make them over, and

46:22

then Mikey has to pick one

46:24

to marry. And then

46:26

whoever he picks, whatever team, they

46:29

get a million dollars. It's

46:31

90 Mile Fiance. Hell

46:33

yeah! What do I get? A

46:35

fiance, you ungrateful bitch. Yeah, you get a

46:37

family, Mikey, which is what you've

46:39

always wanted. You're welcome. I want a

46:42

million dollars as well, though. Would you

46:44

rather have a million dollars or a

46:46

trucker wife, Mikey? A

46:48

million dollars or a truckasaurus. How dare you

46:50

bring her up? Your

46:53

brother's murderer. Sorry, no,

46:55

wait, that was trucksecution. Oh, it is

46:57

trucksecution, sorry. Truckasaurus

46:59

is his wife. Truckasaurus

47:01

was my dad's name. Mr.

47:04

Truckasaurus, to you. Anyway, I'd take the

47:07

million dollars. I

47:09

know, we should get back into this movie, at

47:12

least until Netflix calls, and they're like, hey, the

47:14

Lacheys want a word. That's not fucked up enough

47:16

for them. Where do you even

47:18

drive a truckasaurus, right? Like it can't

47:20

be on regular roads. All I'm saying is

47:22

he should have killed me when he had the chance, because I'm

47:25

coming. We

47:27

should not be allowed to start recording at

47:29

10 p.m. This is why I delay all

47:31

recordings till then, because I'm like, make

47:33

truckasaurus be stupid until 10 o'clock, and

47:35

then we're all stupid, and then they

47:37

can't judge me anymore. Mikey,

47:40

if you think I believed that

47:42

you had to wait 40 minutes

47:45

to get that haircut, you're

47:47

insane. Well,

47:49

believe it, because you were like, I'm

47:52

so sorry, and I was like, so can I cancel without

47:54

a fee now? At least once, do I get to bank

47:56

one? Yeah. Oh, man. Anyway,

47:59

so Amy. After hearing her

48:01

dad be like, women are allowed to do

48:03

this on one day and not getting proposed

48:05

to, she's like, I have

48:07

a great idea. I'm gonna spend thousands of

48:10

dollars on last-minute airfare to fly across the

48:12

Atlantic Oceania. I hope they can't ever get

48:14

the right to vote, you know? Fuck you. Vote

48:17

you out of our island. We don't need you.

48:19

I mean, this movie was written in

48:21

1890, so they didn't for like another 30 years. Yeah.

48:26

Bummer, really. Well, technically, they really most only, you

48:28

know, most people only vote every four years, so

48:30

it makes sense. I vote in local

48:32

elections. I'm one of those assholes. I

48:34

know, Paige, and you have suffered enough. Thank you.

48:37

I suffered. It's just a suffrage joke. It's a joke. Women

48:39

should be allowed to vote. I suffer

48:41

like every year. Yeah. Statistically,

48:44

when they vote, better people win.

48:46

Anyway. She flies across to

48:48

Ireland. Yes. Or rather, she ends

48:50

up in Wales first. Because there's weather. She

48:52

lands in, like, Cardiff. Yes. Which,

48:54

I'll be in Cardiff in April.

48:56

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so

48:59

she makes her way over. She can't get

49:01

all the way there. She's in Cardiff in

49:03

Wales, and she's like, well, I gotta get

49:05

to Ireland. And they're like, good luck. There's

49:07

no way to do that. And so she

49:09

gets on a very dangerous looking boat, which

49:11

leaves her in Dingle. It looks like

49:13

a tugboat. Yes. And Dingle may be

49:16

a real Irish place or a name

49:18

that an American made up because they

49:20

thought it sounded like a weird Irish

49:22

place. Paige, I looked all

49:24

this shit up because I'm a fucking nerd. So

49:26

let me hit you with some facts. Is Dingle

49:28

real? It is. So, but- You

49:31

fucking Irish nerd! I'm not

49:33

an Irish nerd. I looked it up because I was

49:35

interested. Largely because I was at this

49:38

point already trying to prove to myself that this

49:40

is a low effort movie. And

49:42

maybe this is why I liked it.

49:44

Because I, like, learned things like this.

49:46

If you were in Cardiff and you

49:48

wanted to take a boat to Cork,

49:50

you'd have to go about an hour

49:53

longer around Ireland to get to

49:55

Dingle. So they overshot it. Oh,

49:57

yeah. By like a lot. By like-

50:00

A lot. Cork is more on

50:02

the west coast which is closer to

50:04

Dublin. Okay. Dingle is like all the

50:06

way on the east coast of, like

50:08

the southeast coast of Ireland. So

50:11

they are like way off course. Well

50:13

there was a storm, so I'll give them that

50:15

one. You're not gonna miss, like

50:17

they are off course longer or

50:19

further than from Cardiff to Cork.

50:21

Like it is insane. For

50:24

them the three hour, two hour, they

50:26

do look like. It is insane that

50:28

they would end up in Dingle. Skipper

50:30

and Marryat. Like that's how bad it

50:32

is. Okay. Alright. It's insane.

50:35

Do you think they just picked fun sounding names? No.

50:38

I think that they legit were like no

50:40

one's gonna look it up and let's pick

50:42

a place that's like far enough away and

50:44

rural enough that it would be believable that

50:46

this insane stuff from 1890 still happens. Okay.

50:51

Because Dingle is, it's only four like ish

50:53

hours away from Dublin but it's in a,

50:55

it's really rural. This is

50:57

about as interesting as the film. Well

51:00

it's rural. That's how they have

51:02

their robust berry population making. It's

51:05

those Dingle Berries. We're gonna have to make

51:07

some better jokes for him to re-engage Paige.

51:09

He's just looking at his phone. Anyway,

51:11

at this point in my notes I just have,

51:13

is this hot girl playing streams and automobiles? And

51:15

in fact it was. Yeah. So

51:18

she gets to Dingle. She walks in heels because

51:20

she's in heels this entire movie for no reason

51:23

other than I'm sure they think her legs look

51:25

nice but like, that's mean. Don't

51:27

make her walk around in heels that much. You

51:29

don't have one pair of flats or

51:31

like tennis shoes. In your suitcase? Yeah.

51:34

When you're traveling for multiple days. Like

51:36

I get if she was just gonna

51:38

fly in on the day, propose, stay

51:40

there overnight and fly back. But like

51:42

she's gonna be there for days. She's

51:44

in heels at the fucking airport. Yeah. She

51:46

is the heel of the movie. She is. That's

51:48

true. Okay. I get it. I

51:50

liked when she gave him the chair. Anyway,

51:53

she walks into a pub and is

51:56

just like, hey, is anyone here? Can I

51:58

call a taxi service? My black bear. is

52:00

dying and eventually it will fry the blackberry

52:02

so they get rid of their phone problem.

52:04

Yeah, but the bartender's like yeah, here's

52:06

the taxi service and you know, there's a

52:08

pay phone in the back. She calls and

52:10

of course he answers because he's the taxi

52:13

service and the only hotel slash in and

52:15

the only restaurant around. Yeah. So

52:17

he's like the only shop in town more or less.

52:19

Right. So she's going to stay

52:22

there. It reminds you of either of you watch the documentary

52:24

Last Stop Laramah? No, I did. Oh,

52:26

very engaging. Yes, but they have something

52:28

like this where it was like a hotel that's also the

52:30

pub and it's like the only thing in town and there's

52:32

only like 11 people that live there. Wow. And

52:35

who killed one of the residents? Yeah, it's

52:37

a good documentary Todd. You would like it.

52:40

I love ducks. Yeah. So

52:42

she's like, well, you drive me to Dublin and

52:44

he's like, no Dublin is terrible. And he's like,

52:46

I wouldn't drive you there for 500 euros. And

52:49

so she's like, okay, would anyone else know?

52:52

No one's going to go. It's late. And

52:54

he's staying there and he does bring her a sandwich.

52:57

Now in this scene when she finally gets

52:59

to her room, she's trying to plug in

53:01

her Blackberry. They didn't do something that was

53:03

so much easier than what they did. And

53:06

that was she has proven to not

53:08

have planned any of this voyage at all.

53:10

Like she didn't plan well to begin with.

53:12

And now she's so far off that she

53:15

definitely can't plan it now. She goes to

53:17

plug in the phone and I was like,

53:19

did she not remember the plug? She

53:21

did. And like, and that's the thing is I was like,

53:23

all you had to do is have her try to jam the

53:25

wrong plug in there. Right. You

53:28

could have cut 10 minutes out of it. It's just

53:30

the right plug and it does it anyway, which I

53:32

found annoying. They truly blame her for something that is

53:34

not her fault. Yep. But I

53:36

mean, she does also sort of destroy the

53:38

room to try and plug it in. So

53:41

like inexplicably, by the way. Yes. Well,

53:43

the prophecy in Dingle, she is the

53:45

only woman who comes there in a

53:47

very long time. There's no women in

53:49

this film besides her and Kaylee. There

53:52

are at the end that come to the bar. Yeah. Like

53:55

there later there's a crowd and there there are women.

53:57

But she wrecks this room like the Incredible Hulk. Yeah.

54:00

You know, like she ripped out of her shorts

54:02

and became a werewolf. Like, that's how quickly all

54:04

that furniture is destroyed. I can't judge. I

54:06

am that clumsy. This has happened to me

54:09

before. So, like, I have accidentally destroyed a

54:11

room like this. It's very embarrassing. Ugh, you

54:13

can't come over anymore. I know. I tried

54:15

very carefully not to do that today. I

54:18

was like, don't. Like, one time I got,

54:20

like, a counter, like a filing cabinet caught

54:22

in my pants pocket at work and just

54:25

dragged the whole filing cabinet all the way

54:27

down. Like, just knocked the whole thing over.

54:30

How does this happen to you? How do

54:32

you end up with too many crumbs on your shirt and dragging

54:35

around file cabinets? I just moved

54:37

forward. Anyway, she

54:39

does, in destroying this hotel room, find a

54:41

picture of him and two other people. And

54:43

he's like, give me that. That's mine. And

54:45

I was like, aha, the girlfriend, because this

54:47

movie is very basic. Yeah. So, we cut

54:49

to the next day. She's trying to call

54:52

for a cab. And she calls her fiancé

54:54

from that payphone and was like, hey,

54:56

I'm here in Ireland. I'm here to see you. I'll be there

54:58

in a couple days. It's been kind of

55:00

a pain in the ass to try and get to you. As

55:02

she's doing that, she overhears that the

55:04

bartender, Declan, owes money

55:06

to some unsavory types in a blue van.

55:08

Because, notice, they only had two cars for

55:11

this movie. One's a red one, one's a

55:13

blue van that gets used twice for

55:15

multiple different groups of people. That's funny.

55:17

So, he comes in and she

55:20

goes up to pack, get dressed. He

55:22

walks in on her while she's getting

55:24

dressed. He's like, fine, I'll drive you

55:27

to Dublin. For the 500-year-old, she's like,

55:29

okay, fine. She goes to get in

55:31

the car and a black cat crosses

55:33

her path. And the movie depicts every

55:35

single Irish person that they encounter as

55:37

so wildly superstitious that they can't even

55:39

keep track of their own superstitions.

55:41

That's one of my favorite things

55:43

about every local. Their thing as

55:45

a person, their personality trait is

55:47

superstitious. Yes. Like, they don't give

55:49

any quote local in this movie

55:51

any character trait other than that.

55:54

That's it. It's not the worst.

55:56

At least they're not all, like,

55:58

alcoholics. I think they might. to

56:00

also been that? It's

56:02

not a

56:04

documentary Mikey.

56:06

I have a question. I don't

56:08

understand why Ireland is famous for

56:10

whiskey but also potatoes and they're

56:12

not famous for vodka. That's a

56:15

good question. So there was this

56:17

blight that killed the potatoes. Yeah

56:19

I mean I don't know. But

56:22

that's at one point like potatoes aside

56:24

from the blight were one of their

56:26

big major crops yes? That's why it

56:28

was such a big deal when they lost them all right? So

56:30

yeah why didn't they come up with vodka? I

56:32

think you need the cold brutal winners

56:34

of Russia to create vodka. I don't

56:36

know. I don't drink. I have no

56:39

fucking idea. Well just vodka is made

56:41

of potatoes so like what? I mean it seems

56:43

like the easier one anyway. Who

56:45

knows maybe you do need the cold.

56:47

I don't know. Anyway he goes to

56:49

load her Louis Vuitton suitcase into his

56:51

Renault 4 and I like that they

56:53

made him seem dumb enough to not

56:55

understand that Louis Vuitton was a designer

56:57

like he's lived on earth for a

56:59

number of years. It's a very and

57:01

he's like she named the suitcase Louis

57:03

and I'm like it literally says it

57:05

on the suitcase. Like clearly it's a

57:08

fancy suitcase. One could just infer from

57:10

context clues. Oh yeah yeah that

57:12

had been my first interaction with that brand

57:14

I would have been like oh this is

57:16

just like a bougie brand. Okay cool. Exactly.

57:19

But I also like sort of love that

57:21

they call her suitcase Louis throughout the movie.

57:24

So like I'm fine with it. I do

57:26

too. That's the one thing in this movie I

57:28

was like it's cute. It was cute.

57:30

But they get on the road and the locals

57:33

are like they're gonna kill each other. The little

57:35

like Statler and Waldorf of this pub are like

57:37

they're gonna kill each other. So they get on

57:39

the road he's eating a sandwich she tells him

57:42

why she's going to Dublin and I do love

57:44

that he's like tell me about your fiance and

57:46

she says oh he's a

57:48

cardiologist and that's the only thing she

57:50

can tell anyone about him. She doesn't

57:53

know this man. The reason she can't

57:55

say anything else about him is because he's

57:57

involved in many lawsuits and the podcast doctor

58:00

is about to do with season on him

58:02

because he is a cardiologist and he when

58:04

he was his buddy calls him at dinner

58:06

who is also a doctor and says hey

58:08

I need like a consult can you have

58:10

a look at this and he says oh

58:12

you're gonna have to go in through the

58:15

spine I don't believe there's a heart surgery

58:17

where you have to go in through the

58:19

spine so like he's killing people out here

58:21

I mean I'm more worried about the

58:23

guy who was putting like plastic tubes in people's

58:25

throats that's the new doctor death or the new

58:27

TV one I know the podcast did other ones

58:30

my theory is that in Teletubby world

58:32

you can only describe people with one

58:34

adjective so there's the pink

58:36

one there's the doctor there's the superstitious

58:39

one and then there is the bitchy

58:41

one and then the single one and

58:43

they all go to the machine to

58:45

get tubby custard it's pink and adjectives

58:47

yes it's a color colors are can

58:50

be adjectives yeah I never

58:52

saw Teletubbies I babysat when

58:54

Teletubbies was popular yeah this is an

58:56

older sibling kind of conversation yeah

58:59

that's how I saw it was I was babysitting

59:01

for people who were watching it as infants that

59:04

are now in college anyway

59:06

so in the car they're having conversation she

59:09

throws his sandwich out because he laughs about

59:11

her leap day tradition and this is some

59:13

of the worst green screen I've seen in

59:15

modern times like a

59:17

back projected sketch from Monty

59:19

Python in the 60s looks

59:21

better than this it's

59:24

wild I mean this was 14 years

59:27

ago and when I tell you the budget you're

59:29

gonna be so mad he was so mad it's

59:31

so ridiculous somebody stole money yeah

59:34

yes oh yeah this was an embezzlement movie a

59:36

hundred percent you 100% could have hired

59:38

a trailer and mounted a camera for this you

59:41

know I'm saying like a hundred they had that

59:43

budget well there you could even do green screen

59:45

better than this like that's the thing that's

59:47

driving me nuts he's doing green screen

59:49

better than this would be cheaper than

59:51

hiring like yes absolutely they but they

59:54

had budget for the more expensive off

59:56

they had money to do the craziest version of

59:58

this yes or what I would say probably

1:00:00

the right version of this. Like that's how you're

1:00:02

going to capture reality is to do it in

1:00:04

the moment. Yeah. But like they just didn't. And

1:00:06

I'm fine with it. So crazy.

1:00:08

Anyway, there's a bunch of cows in the road, so

1:00:10

they have to stop and they get out and argue

1:00:12

and she's like, well, can you move the cows? Like

1:00:14

I'm trying, I'm on a schedule here. Move the

1:00:17

cows. Bitch,

1:00:19

get out the way. It's curds

1:00:21

and whey. So like I

1:00:23

sort of sided with Amy Adams in this

1:00:25

one situation because we could just like shoe

1:00:28

them out of the way and then get

1:00:30

back on our journey. Right. Except

1:00:32

that if, I mean cows

1:00:34

could hurt you technically, they're

1:00:36

large. Like they are big. Cows

1:00:39

could hurt you. Heard.

1:00:42

But like she does herd them off

1:00:45

of the road. Sure. They also usually will

1:00:47

just pass in their own time. And then

1:00:49

she steps in a huge pile of shit. Yeah. She steps

1:00:51

in a huge pile of shit. And as she

1:00:53

leans against the car to kind of try and

1:00:55

get it off her shoe, the car rolls down

1:00:58

the hill and into a tiny bog. Yeah.

1:01:00

So the car is now out of it

1:01:02

because they started in Dingle, right? And it's

1:01:04

only like four ish hours from Dublin. So

1:01:06

they had to get rid of that car

1:01:08

quick. Right. Cause Ireland, not very

1:01:11

big. Yeah. It's not, it's not huge.

1:01:13

See here's, this is, this is why

1:01:15

planes, trains and automobiles works. The United

1:01:17

States, pretty big. Yeah. And you know,

1:01:20

why romancing the stone works. Jungle, also

1:01:22

big. Yeah. Ireland, could she just like walk

1:01:24

to the other side of it or whatever? Is

1:01:26

it like Dublin only like two neighborhoods down or

1:01:28

whatever? Mikey

1:01:31

it's four hours away. So it would

1:01:33

be like us driving to Atlanta. Or

1:01:35

me driving home to see my parents. Yeah. Which

1:01:38

is LA to San Francisco for the listeners. Yeah.

1:01:40

If I was on a four hour trip and

1:01:42

it took three days, I would murder

1:01:45

someone. Mikey, imagine me and you driving

1:01:47

to Atlanta. We get stuck on Mount

1:01:49

Eagle because it snowed that night or

1:01:51

whatever. And then we have

1:01:53

to like fucking planes, trains and

1:01:55

automobile it. So you get to

1:01:57

Atlantis before, before your long lost.

1:02:00

gets married. I just wrote a better movie

1:02:02

than this. You did. It's a buddy comedy

1:02:04

but I'm here for it. I'm not interrupting

1:02:06

I'm married. Here's the thing, if you're

1:02:08

her fiance and she has called to say,

1:02:10

hey I'm in Ireland I'll be in Dublin

1:02:12

in just a few hours and then you

1:02:14

don't hear from her for a day and

1:02:16

a half when do you call

1:02:18

the search party? Paige when she calls

1:02:20

him and like says I should be there

1:02:23

in like eight hours or whatever I'd be

1:02:25

like I run into a car I am

1:02:27

on my way. I don't understand why he

1:02:29

is like so committed to this medical conference

1:02:36

that he doesn't have to fucking

1:02:38

be an active participant in. He

1:02:41

is there to have a good time

1:02:43

and get schmoozed by like equipment distributors

1:02:45

and shit like I used to go

1:02:47

to those conferences he definitely

1:02:50

could not have been there for

1:02:52

four hours to go get his

1:02:54

stranded fiance. They're also aggressively rich

1:02:56

why didn't he send a car? Like

1:02:58

even if he's not going send a

1:03:00

car like what are we doing? And

1:03:03

she doesn't get a chance to call

1:03:05

him until they're gone for two days

1:03:07

and he's like man where the hell

1:03:10

have you been? I'm like you didn't

1:03:12

call the police. She's in

1:03:14

a strange country. You're not

1:03:16

looking for her. Call the

1:03:18

American Embassy. Yes! That was

1:03:21

crazy. Yeah. If you haven't heard from her in

1:03:23

like two days she did. Statistically and

1:03:25

you did it. Yes. You

1:03:28

don't want to call before three days and seem

1:03:30

desperate though. Anyway so as they're walking the same

1:03:36

blue van from earlier pulls up but with

1:03:39

different people because apparently people were

1:03:41

embezzling money when they made this movie and they

1:03:43

steal her suitcase because they act like they're gonna

1:03:46

give her a ride. Actually okay so to

1:03:48

address that one thing I do

1:03:50

think it is the same blue

1:03:52

van because he does say you

1:03:54

don't want to talk to those

1:03:56

people or something like that because

1:03:59

he knows Who owns that van

1:04:01

and I do think that this ends

1:04:03

up being like the teenage kids of

1:04:05

the of the guy he owns

1:04:07

money to That's possible. Yeah, so like

1:04:09

that made sense to me. It's weird

1:04:12

that we don't see any other cars

1:04:15

But like the fact that we see this car twice

1:04:17

made sense to me They act like

1:04:19

no one in Ireland owns a car.

1:04:22

Yeah period in this movie. It's bonkers

1:04:24

They only own hold on let me google

1:04:26

so I don't fuck this joke up you

1:04:29

ready page It's gonna be awesome. This

1:04:31

joke's gonna fucking crush in

1:04:33

the meantime. What do you call something? That's

1:04:35

Irish and sits outside dad patio

1:04:38

furniture All right,

1:04:40

so it's because in Ireland they

1:04:43

don't own cars. They only have

1:04:45

heart stars horseshoes clovers Positive

1:04:49

golden rainbows and the red balloon

1:04:52

these hasty red balloons plus crunchy

1:04:54

oat cereal pieces, too Actually

1:04:57

Say what are you the

1:04:59

leprechaun from Lucky Charms actually

1:05:01

in the calcium? Oh, yeah

1:05:04

Yeah, but what if he's the other leprechaun

1:05:06

and it's me go that I'm after and

1:05:08

I'm here to speak in limericks and shine

1:05:10

your shoes Well, then when she stepped in shit,

1:05:12

he would have hopped to it to shine that

1:05:14

shit off her shoe Yes, if I was Irish,

1:05:16

I would only use one pickup line. I'd be

1:05:18

like you want to see the last snake left

1:05:20

in Ireland Now

1:05:27

Mikey say it again with an Irish accent.

1:05:29

Oh, good luck. Do you want to see

1:05:31

the last snake left in Ireland? Me

1:05:48

jaw and the land Yeah, it's like

1:05:50

far and away all over again And

1:05:52

then Mikey pays me to stand outside her

1:05:54

house with a recorder so she can be

1:05:56

like oh, it's pied pipe But I got

1:05:59

to go They're driving

1:06:01

me snake out, I'm sorry, I'd

1:06:03

say it's a koot, but it's

1:06:05

the flute, it calls. Anyway... You

1:06:09

ever seen the movie Bangs of New York? My

1:06:11

buddy, I don't know if that's the porn parody

1:06:13

version of Gangs of New York. It's

1:06:15

definitely Gang Bangs of New York,

1:06:17

come on. That also could be

1:06:19

it. Be better at porn titles!

1:06:21

I don't know man, score Sazy Porn titles

1:06:23

like he gets real artsy with them. In

1:06:26

a porn redirect under his

1:06:29

pseudonym? Fartan score Shady?

1:06:31

No, it's just Martin score

1:06:33

GAY-Z! I'm here for that.

1:06:36

You guys think Ireland's overrated? I think so.

1:06:39

No, I bet Ireland is super

1:06:41

dope. I think Ireland's beautiful and I

1:06:43

really fucking want to go. Yeah, it

1:06:45

is on my list of places to still

1:06:47

go, because I have been to England. Mikey,

1:06:50

you need to get off this continent. You

1:06:52

need to see more of the fucking world.

1:06:55

I've been out of the country, I'll tell you

1:06:57

what. That's why I said you need to get

1:06:59

off this continent. White people are white people, don't

1:07:02

matter where you go. It's just... White

1:07:04

people are white people, but some of them

1:07:06

are French, unfortunately. She

1:07:09

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active so they feel her

1:08:40

suitcase they continue walking they make it

1:08:42

to another pub where she's about

1:08:44

to make a call to try and get somebody else

1:08:46

to drive her the rest of the way because they

1:08:48

obviously don't have a car anymore and

1:08:50

Declan's been kind of an asshole this whole

1:08:52

time and who does she happen upon but

1:08:55

the guys that stole her suitcase going through

1:08:57

her unmentionables

1:08:59

yeah and she like busts in

1:09:01

on these criminals and she's like

1:09:03

thanks for giving me my shit

1:09:05

back like of course that doesn't

1:09:07

go well what are we doing

1:09:09

yeah I'm like girl you need you like you

1:09:11

should have like rounded up a couple dudes and

1:09:13

then like those guys stole my shit go hit

1:09:16

them cuz you're Amy Adams and you're gorgeous like

1:09:18

you make it work for you but

1:09:20

Declan comes to her rescue basically well

1:09:23

I mean he comes in there and tries

1:09:25

to like talk them into giving Louie back

1:09:27

to her and then they start throwing punches

1:09:29

so like he kicks their ass page well

1:09:32

sort of they both kick enough ass that

1:09:34

the bartender is alerted and he's like get

1:09:36

out but at least she has her stuff

1:09:38

back yeah everybody get out she has her

1:09:41

stuff back they walk to a train station

1:09:43

and I love that the train conductor guy

1:09:45

or the engineer I don't know but he's

1:09:47

like oh you're just in time for the

1:09:49

train to Dublin it leaves in two hours

1:09:52

and 43 minutes but the funny

1:09:54

thing is it really leaves in like

1:09:56

11 minutes 20 minutes yeah They

1:10:00

set her up here so bad and it's

1:10:02

so funny to me. So bad. But it's

1:10:05

fine, to pay her back they make her

1:10:07

slide down a hill in her pencil skirt

1:10:09

and blouse. Yeah, hey, she probably

1:10:11

got hurt. This is Rocky

1:10:13

Hill. Man, and she does, I think

1:10:15

she did that stunt quote-unquote, and she

1:10:17

also has a scene where she like

1:10:19

is supposed to be checking him out.

1:10:22

It's actually in a little bit. Yeah.

1:10:24

But she like walks her head into the wall.

1:10:26

Yeah. And she does it.

1:10:28

Like you see her head hit the wall

1:10:31

pretty hard. Like I have a lot of

1:10:33

respect for like actors who will do that

1:10:35

kind of shit. Even though that wall

1:10:37

is probably styrofoam. No, I mean that's

1:10:39

like an actual house they're in, right? Like I

1:10:41

don't know. Oh, in the house as opposed to the castle. Yeah,

1:10:43

yeah, no, it's not the castle. It's back when they're,

1:10:45

it's like when they clean up after they both get

1:10:47

like muddy here. Yeah, that castle was

1:10:49

one or two steps above

1:10:52

the ruins where Inigo Montoya

1:10:54

and the Dred Empire Robert

1:10:56

sword fight in Princess Bride.

1:10:58

Over the cliffs of insanity! The

1:11:01

cliffs of insanity! If

1:11:03

you ever watched the old BBC

1:11:05

versions of the Chronicles of Narnia,

1:11:08

it looks how every castle looks

1:11:10

in those ones. Yeah. Especially

1:11:12

when they climb up to the quote

1:11:15

top. Yes. Like that shot

1:11:17

where all you see is like one little

1:11:19

pillar. Yes. And then just like

1:11:21

fake ass sky. Yeah. I have some rub

1:11:23

up here, but I do not think you would

1:11:25

have set my help. Cause I'm only waiting around to kill

1:11:27

you. I watched it recently. I love that movie. Paige,

1:11:29

we all should. We all should. It

1:11:32

holds up. Anyway, so he's like, oh hey, there's a super

1:11:34

famous castle. It's only like 15 minutes to get up there.

1:11:36

You want to walk over or do you want to sit

1:11:38

here for like two hours? And she's like,

1:11:40

okay, fine. Degrudgingly walks up there with him. And

1:11:42

then he tells this like fun Irish story that's

1:11:45

a rip off of Helen of Troy. And then

1:11:47

like. I literally wrote that in my notes

1:11:49

too. I was like, this is basically like Helen

1:11:51

of Troy, right? Except there's no

1:11:53

war, but like. Right. It's

1:11:55

basically that. Yeah. And I was

1:11:58

just like, all right, this is, you know, but it's. One

1:12:00

of the things where it's like other than her

1:12:02

kind of like oh like the night before her

1:12:04

engagement Because that story went in one ear and

1:12:06

out the other for me I'm like this

1:12:08

is not even an interestingly shot monologue

1:12:10

and there's no chemistry So out of

1:12:12

like a certain point he goes through

1:12:14

like two or three arches of this

1:12:16

air quotes castle And I was like

1:12:18

oh I tuned out was he telling

1:12:21

her the story of hell of Troy?

1:12:23

No, it's shot like spy kids No

1:12:26

spy kids is a delight It

1:12:30

does not hold up, but may have had

1:12:32

a similar budget to this movie Oh good

1:12:34

night anyway, but yeah, I mean the story

1:12:36

is so we can get it on paper

1:12:38

Yes There is a like young

1:12:40

woman who was promised to marry this like

1:12:42

warlord because it's like a long time ago

1:12:44

or whatever Sure, who is like her granddad's

1:12:46

age the night. She's supposed to get married

1:12:48

She falls in love with someone who's like

1:12:50

more age appropriate And

1:12:52

she like puts everybody to sleep and

1:12:54

then they go off together or whatever.

1:12:56

That's like the story Right, there's no war,

1:12:59

but it's like the hell in a Troy story. Yeah

1:13:01

Yeah, it's you know She doesn't want

1:13:03

to marry Agamemnon and Brad Pitt pulled

1:13:05

into it somehow anyway So

1:13:08

while they're up there and the movie is

1:13:10

desperately trying to make us feel like they

1:13:12

have chemistry in this moment. They don't But

1:13:15

they hear the train and so they're like oh

1:13:17

no So they run down to the tracks and

1:13:20

they just miss the train Unfortunate

1:13:22

yeah, and she rolls down the last like

1:13:24

half of that hill covered in mud She slides

1:13:26

like on her back for a while in

1:13:28

some in one shot I was like yeah, damn

1:13:31

it cuz it looks like she's doing that

1:13:33

like that that had to suck Yep

1:13:35

But the the guy who works in the train

1:13:37

station takes them to a little bed and breakfast

1:13:40

Where the owners of bed and breakfast are

1:13:42

like, oh good. We actually do a room

1:13:44

We just had to turn two backpackers away

1:13:46

because they weren't married. So and they then

1:13:49

do two romantic book

1:13:51

movie tropes in one where

1:13:53

they're like fake dating But

1:13:55

also sharing a bed forced

1:13:57

to share a bed. It's

1:14:00

the one bed trope a favorite it

1:14:02

is I do like this trope it is a

1:14:04

fun trope it is one of my favorites it

1:14:06

is always contrived it never makes it 100% it is the

1:14:11

most usually the biggest reach

1:14:13

of the trope it's my this hospital

1:14:15

is abandoned while I'm admitted to it

1:14:17

in a horror movie trope for romantic

1:14:19

comedy yeah anytime a horror movie goes

1:14:21

to a hospital I know one I'm

1:14:23

gonna hate this next scene and it's

1:14:25

gonna be impossible but I'm here for

1:14:27

it thank you sharing a bed why does

1:14:29

that feel impossible to you because if

1:14:31

you go to a hospital there's so many people

1:14:34

there all the time okay okay but like

1:14:36

what about a zombie movie where clearly all

1:14:38

it had they had to abandon the hospital

1:14:40

that's all I'm talking about like Halloween

1:14:42

2 where it was like Lord he's

1:14:44

like in the they're like someone page

1:14:46

the one nurse on this fourth floor

1:14:48

hospital and you're like sir that hospital

1:14:50

has been abandoned for 30 years

1:14:55

I feel like my favorite in that is people

1:14:57

sleeping in the hospital because I don't know if

1:14:59

you ever been in the hospital long enough to

1:15:01

need to sleep there oh yeah it's impossible to

1:15:04

do so they wake you up every hour it's

1:15:06

so terrible don't do it

1:15:09

don't go I mean sometimes

1:15:11

you don't have a choice sometimes

1:15:13

you got a zombie apocalypse and

1:15:16

you got to find a cure anyway

1:15:18

so they they start to get settled

1:15:20

and she takes a shower and

1:15:22

he watches her through the curtain

1:15:25

and you're like then

1:15:27

they argue over the bed and he takes a shower

1:15:29

while he's in the shower the lady that owns

1:15:31

the Airbnb is just like or just

1:15:33

B&B I guess yeah she's like oh

1:15:35

we're having tripe for dinner and she's

1:15:37

like tripe for dinner great he honed

1:15:39

tripe is Cal stomach yeah it's usually

1:15:42

left over after all the other cuts

1:15:44

of meat have been taken yeah

1:15:46

I mean I wouldn't start eating a cow

1:15:48

from the stomach so I believe that not

1:15:50

unless I was trying to eat my way

1:15:52

out because it swallows me there you go

1:15:54

right because it's dangerous think about it because

1:15:56

that's where you would be my grandfather

1:15:58

used to eat And

1:16:00

sometimes like in soups and stuff

1:16:02

they'll use it. I try it. I want

1:16:05

to sample the local cuisine I try pit

1:16:07

you may have you ever had pho that's kind

1:16:09

of like beef pho Sometimes

1:16:11

it's similar cuts depending on where

1:16:13

you got your pho. I like fruit tripe

1:16:15

gum so Alright, that's

1:16:18

how you that's that is how you pronounce that

1:16:20

yes Yeah, that's also how why it loses its

1:16:22

flavor so fast because it's been digested already already

1:16:24

by the four stomachs of the cow That makes

1:16:26

sense exactly But so she's like

1:16:28

oh, you know what? You should have my

1:16:31

husband cook He's an amazing cook and this

1:16:33

is when they go murder one of that

1:16:35

woman's pets when she said my husband cook

1:16:37

Which I understood why I said that because like

1:16:39

they're playing the ruse so they can keep the

1:16:41

room But like that was the first time I

1:16:43

remembered hearing that he could cook at all Yes,

1:16:46

well, he made her that sandwich but

1:16:48

a sandwich and coco-vah are two very

1:16:51

different things I make sandwiches every

1:16:53

day page. I know cook, you

1:16:55

know, I make coco-vah every day

1:16:58

I mean hey don't think that's true.

1:17:00

Oh does factor have a cocoa bomb

1:17:03

option? they should cocoa is

1:17:05

delicious and Mikey if you

1:17:07

would bought that Dutch oven like I told you

1:17:09

to you could make cocoa as much as you

1:17:11

want Mikey doesn't need to buy

1:17:13

a Dutch oven. He provides one nightly.

1:17:15

I don't fart ladies Here's

1:17:18

and this is pages fucking cookware corner because

1:17:20

they go out into the yard and they're

1:17:22

like pulling carrots And this is where she

1:17:24

just like out of nowhere trauma dumps about

1:17:26

John Leskow And she's just like two jobs

1:17:28

after school and you're like, oh so it's

1:17:30

trauma Okay, where did this

1:17:33

come from? But then they take everything inside

1:17:35

to prepare it and this is just personal

1:17:37

pet peeve They definitely did

1:17:39

this so that it would look

1:17:41

pretty in the movie But

1:17:44

he puts the cocoa in the

1:17:46

oven in a glass dish Nothing

1:17:48

wrong with glass dishes for casseroles

1:17:51

But you make cocoa in a Dutch oven so that

1:17:53

you can start it on the stove and then

1:17:55

move it to The

1:17:57

actual oven after now, maybe you're

1:17:59

thinking Well, they didn't know and

1:18:01

they didn't have a Dutch oven except there

1:18:03

are multiple Dutch ovens in the kitchen They

1:18:06

are cooking in visible on the screen. It

1:18:08

drove me nuts I know won't drive anyone

1:18:10

else nuts, but it drove me

1:18:12

nuts But doesn't it feel like the

1:18:14

movies trying to be lazy on

1:18:16

purpose at a certain point? Yeah, I

1:18:19

really loved it and I'll be honest

1:18:21

with you I cried twice in

1:18:23

this movie, but I also feel like

1:18:25

it is a very low effort

1:18:27

Do you cried in this movie Mikey

1:18:30

twice? I also feel like

1:18:32

that this is a very like

1:18:34

it's a monument to low effortness

1:18:36

Whatever therapy you're going to it's

1:18:38

not working. It totally is I

1:18:41

literally have more access to my emotions

1:18:44

than I've ever had in my life

1:18:46

since the accident You should not be

1:18:48

crying at this film. This is something

1:18:51

is wrong Mikey Mikey Remember that

1:18:53

Todd has problems with feeling emotions.

1:18:55

That's why he needs the wheel

1:18:57

So really Todd is crying that

1:18:59

maybe is better. Let's spin the

1:19:01

wheel and find out What

1:19:04

emotions you have today I feel horny

1:19:07

but also Inquisitive.

1:19:09

Yeah, we were talking about roosters and egg part

1:19:13

of a balanced breath I can't believe

1:19:15

you even felt emotion in this film

1:19:17

like it's I did not either cuz

1:19:19

it did not seem like real people The first time

1:19:21

I cried was actually when it's about to

1:19:24

happen when they go into that wedding

1:19:26

and we hear the other couple Exchanging

1:19:28

vows her vows made me cry. Jeez.

1:19:30

It was fucking sweet. Okay, but those

1:19:33

vows are a well-known I know it's

1:19:36

a well-known poem that I've heard multiple times.

1:19:38

So I was like that is sweet. That's

1:19:40

nice I did not cry straight up cry.

1:19:42

This movie is the beige

1:19:44

of movies That's

1:19:46

fair. There's a reason I like

1:19:48

pumpkin spice lattes guys I'd like

1:19:51

pumpkin spice lattes cuz they're delicious that

1:19:53

what does that have to do with any of

1:19:55

this? It's basic I like I like

1:19:57

it, but it is a basic. They're

1:19:59

way more Exciting than this film. There's

1:20:01

spice in them. This movie is

1:20:03

not basic. This movie is boring. Yes

1:20:05

two different things Oh disagree pop

1:20:08

quiz shit I'm not ready for the

1:20:10

name for facts about the main character

1:20:12

of this film Todd go she has

1:20:14

red hair She only wears heels that

1:20:16

that you learn about her personality that

1:20:18

you learn about her personality Jonathan

1:20:21

list gals seems like a great dad, but

1:20:23

turns out to be a fucking douche. That's

1:20:25

a Jonathan list gal fact shit

1:20:27

She's got red hair I'm

1:20:31

not saying it's a good movie. In

1:20:34

fact, like I think it's great in

1:20:36

its laziness I the laziness bothers

1:20:38

me so much especially with a big budget

1:20:40

that just makes me angrier I mean the

1:20:42

blood is not like nuts, but it is

1:20:44

inexcusable But you could have

1:20:46

made three Ry lanes for the amount of it

1:20:48

couldn't you you could have made way more Ry lanes Well,

1:20:53

let me look I forget what Ry Lane cost

1:20:55

but I don't remember it was like 5 million No,

1:20:59

it was a little bit more than that but not much the

1:21:01

budget for Ry Lane was 3.8 million I'll

1:21:03

just tell you right now the

1:21:05

budget for this movie is 19

1:21:07

million dollars It's

1:21:13

not on the screen wait till I

1:21:16

ingest it for a inflation page it's gonna

1:21:18

make you so mad Let me a 38 million because

1:21:20

this is like 2010

1:21:24

page yeah, so 19 million

1:21:26

dollars today is 26.8

1:21:30

million dollars. Okay, that's actually not as bad as I thought

1:21:32

it was still bad because it's down on the screen Bad

1:21:34

for how this movie looks and the

1:21:36

scripts and yeah and the green screen

1:21:38

work and the all of it Yeah, all

1:21:40

I'm saying this is why I get mad about

1:21:43

laziness in movies because there are people for 3.8

1:21:45

million Making movies

1:21:47

that ain't lazy that are great that are not

1:21:49

going to be seen and this movie is gonna

1:21:51

get a wide release And that's fucked up.

1:21:53

I could make this movie with that camera

1:21:56

right there that I'm you can see on

1:21:58

my It

1:22:00

would probably look about the same TBH because

1:22:03

these are DSLRs too, but like sure Like

1:22:06

I could shot I could have done this movie

1:22:08

for three point for three million dollars You

1:22:10

you could absolutely make this movie for

1:22:12

three. The problem is it wouldn't have Amy

1:22:14

Adams in it It wouldn't have like some

1:22:17

of these names. Here's the thing. Are

1:22:19

they adding anything to it? The biggest

1:22:21

name is only in it for three minutes. This

1:22:23

is her worst film. Yeah, cuz here's the thing

1:22:25

No shade to Amy Adams. I have loved her and other

1:22:27

things. She is a good actor She's amazing and like

1:22:29

arrival and shit like she's great. This

1:22:31

movie gives her nothing So

1:22:34

like it could have been anybody

1:22:36

like it really could have been

1:22:38

yeah, cuz it's like it is

1:22:40

just the formula Yeah, it is just that

1:22:42

like when you go to Amy Adams IMDB

1:22:45

This is not one of her top four

1:22:47

movies is all we're saying. Of course not

1:22:50

This isn't a top four movie for a

1:22:52

person who's only seen four movies I

1:22:55

don't think Mikey knows what

1:22:58

the four movies I'm talking about are

1:23:00

an IMDB like no I know what

1:23:02

you're talking about the top four movies

1:23:05

on IMDB are the actors top four

1:23:07

movies not their favorite four movies

1:23:09

No, no, he knows but he's saying

1:23:11

not only would this not be in her

1:23:13

top four of the things that she made

1:23:15

People who have only seen four movies and

1:23:17

were asked to pick four would never pick.

1:23:19

Thank you That is the premise

1:23:21

of the of the last where it's

1:23:24

like I'd rather have no movie I've

1:23:27

always seen three movies. It's something else. I'd

1:23:29

rather pick last starfighter twice First

1:23:33

off I will aggressively defend the

1:23:35

last starfighter. It's good for its time

1:23:37

It was it was ahead of its time Frankly

1:23:39

possibly when they hit that button and just

1:23:41

start spinning and shooting I cried a little

1:23:43

bit Those are my favorite episodes of Mystery

1:23:45

Science Theatre Anyway, so they

1:23:48

feed everybody their cocova including the Italian

1:23:50

tourists who proceed to have a Todd

1:23:52

and Natalie at Shoei's moment It's

1:23:54

not their fault though They sort of get

1:23:56

kind of awkwardly forced into it because the

1:23:58

purveyors of the beat and be like

1:24:01

kiss and they're like that's how they... No, it's causing

1:24:03

them to like lick the back of each other's

1:24:05

throats from the inside. Yeah, like no,

1:24:07

I think they're like way overdoing it

1:24:10

with... And the mouth sounds.

1:24:12

The mouth sounds. This kiss

1:24:14

is terrible. It's weird, it's

1:24:17

awkward, it's so

1:24:19

bizarre. I know Mikey right now is

1:24:21

talking about the kiss between our two

1:24:23

main leads, but what he's saying also

1:24:25

applies to what we were actually talking

1:24:27

about, which is the two Italians kissing,

1:24:29

so I'm gonna allow the interruption. No,

1:24:31

no, no, he was talking about the Italians, but he

1:24:33

was gonna say that the kiss that was really gross

1:24:36

was the one you had at Chili's. Chewy's? Chewy's.

1:24:38

It was definitely Chewy's.

1:24:41

I wouldn't be caught dead at a Chili's

1:24:43

unless it was the one downtown by Vanderbilt.

1:24:45

Well, there was more tongue at Chewy's. Anyway,

1:24:48

so they practically have sex at

1:24:50

the table. Like she's definitely jerking them off

1:24:52

underneath. A hundred. I mean, it was that kind

1:24:54

of Airbnb, you know what I'm saying? It

1:24:56

was an Air HJ. It

1:24:59

was. The B&B is for boobs

1:25:01

and butts, but so the people that own

1:25:03

the B&B have kissed. Is that what it

1:25:05

stands for? Bed and breakfast is what it

1:25:07

stands for. No, I know. I was just

1:25:09

hopeful. The Italians have violated

1:25:11

all of our eyes, and

1:25:14

then they're like, now you guys have to

1:25:16

kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,

1:25:18

kiss. Kiss her on the mouth, kiss.

1:25:21

It's real awkward. It does have like

1:25:23

the whole energy of the scene has

1:25:25

a very like frat boy energy. Yep.

1:25:27

But it's like old couples just trying

1:25:30

to like make this younger couple kiss

1:25:33

because that's what the Italian guy

1:25:35

really needs to finish it off. You know

1:25:37

what I'm saying? He likes to watch. I

1:25:39

mean, that's the poly community and that's what

1:25:41

it's like. I think that's what I've read,

1:25:43

you know, he thinks wink. All I know

1:25:45

are the poly friends that I have and the wildness

1:25:48

that I have seen on from couple to throttle.

1:25:50

I have to see this show based on the name

1:25:53

alone. I had no idea they could show that

1:25:55

kind of shit on Peacock. I got through the first

1:25:57

episode and I was like, I need a break. enjoying

1:26:00

that show. It's nuts. So they kiss

1:26:02

and she clearly is like, oh my god,

1:26:04

that was kind of a good kiss, which

1:26:06

we never really saw her kiss Adam Scott.

1:26:09

So like the movie's throwing shade already and

1:26:11

he ain't even had a chance to demonstrate

1:26:13

his skills. Adam Scott's like, just he's

1:26:15

a, he's a pretty good

1:26:17

guy. He's just a busy surgeon.

1:26:19

Yeah. Yeah. With a catering side

1:26:21

business where he's having sex with the girl

1:26:23

from Mean Girls. Uh, no, I'm kidding. Lizzie

1:26:25

Bourdain. What's her name? Lizzie Kaplan. Lizzie Kaplan,

1:26:28

not Lizzie Bourdain. That's the one who gave

1:26:30

her mother 40 wax. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so

1:26:32

they go upstairs and they, and he's like,

1:26:34

it's wet in the shower. Can I sleep

1:26:36

in the bed? And he's like, okay. And

1:26:38

they like toss and turn, toss and turn,

1:26:40

toss and turn. But the movie tries to

1:26:42

make us think that it's romantic and we

1:26:45

know this because they score it to Cass

1:26:47

Elliot's dream a little dream. Yeah. Arguably the

1:26:49

best version ever of that song. Uh, but

1:26:51

it is not romantic except that they wake

1:26:53

up the next morning kind of spooning. Sure.

1:26:56

It's a small bed. He's super asleep, but

1:26:58

it's like a full bed. He's just resting his

1:27:00

hand like on her shoulder. Yeah. It's not even

1:27:02

real good spooning. It's not good spooning. It's

1:27:04

like silverware drawer spooning, you know, where it's like,

1:27:06

they're in their own compartments. I mean, based on the

1:27:08

spooning we're seeing, we know there ain't gonna be no fork in

1:27:10

this movie. You know what I'm saying? I thought it was weird.

1:27:12

He was jerking off though. And

1:27:15

by he, Mikey means the Italian man who

1:27:18

had snuck into the room. Who's like, yeah.

1:27:21

They're spooning harder. Using

1:27:24

a bigger wooden spoon. Mosolini.

1:27:27

What? That's the only Italian word

1:27:29

Mikey knows. My favorite pasta. It's

1:27:32

real fascist. It's sort of

1:27:34

sound like a pasta. I

1:27:37

like the joke because I was like, fuck

1:27:39

man. I bet that's a really nice cut

1:27:41

of noodles. The key to preparing

1:27:43

your mosellini is you have to

1:27:46

hang the noodles first before you

1:27:48

cook them, before they get a

1:27:50

strong foothold. I finished off

1:27:52

the last of our ravioli lasagna that I

1:27:54

made the other day, and now I just

1:27:56

want more. I'm not answering any lasagna questions,

1:27:58

Todd. Don't you fucking dare. No, Paige,

1:28:00

I'm not gonna bring up the stupid-

1:28:03

If you stack lasagna, is it

1:28:05

one lasagna or two lasagnas? We

1:28:07

all know the answer to that.

1:28:09

It's two lasagnas. Sure, that's an

1:28:11

opinion. My question is very different.

1:28:14

When you stack one ravioli on

1:28:16

another ravioli, does that make it

1:28:18

lasagna? So, no, they just

1:28:20

call it lasagna because that's the easier way to

1:28:22

say, I put a bunch of ravioli in a

1:28:24

casserole dish with sauce and cheeses and baked it.

1:28:27

God damn it, that sounds so

1:28:29

good though. It's really- Well, you

1:28:31

have to get the good ravioli from the refrigerated

1:28:33

section so you don't have to cook it. It

1:28:35

cooks in the sauce as you bake it. It's

1:28:38

fucking delicious, man. Easy too. I'm

1:28:40

fucked with pasta stuffed with

1:28:42

cheese. That is my jam. And

1:28:45

I added some of my homemade ricotta to it

1:28:47

and fresh mozzarella on the top so it was

1:28:49

all burbling. Yeah, damn you bitch.

1:28:51

Your facial expression was like you were

1:28:53

hearing a good riff in church. A

1:28:55

good riff? Why is Jimi Hendrix

1:28:58

at church? So

1:29:00

Jesus walked into a bar. Oh,

1:29:02

I love this riff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What

1:29:05

happened next? Yes, and? He should

1:29:07

have been looking out. None of the 12 disciples

1:29:09

told him it was there. Like, you're supposed to

1:29:11

help the guy. He can walk on water, but

1:29:13

he can't see everything. He ordered one loaf

1:29:15

of bread and one

1:29:18

fish and then fed the whole restaurant,

1:29:20

really pissed the manager off. But you

1:29:22

know what? We all ate. You

1:29:25

know what sucks is like when Jesus went to

1:29:27

the bathroom and the bartender was looking for like,

1:29:29

who's gonna pay Jesus's tab? Peter was like, I

1:29:31

don't know that guy. I don't know him. He told, he

1:29:33

said three times. He was like, I don't know him. Yeah, three

1:29:36

times, he's like, I don't fucking know Jesus. Get away from

1:29:38

me, barkeep. Judas picked it up. He had some money on

1:29:40

it. Well, Judas was a priest. But he also had the

1:29:42

three pieces of silver. He tipped too.

1:29:44

Uh-huh. He tipped too. He just

1:29:46

peeking my leg. He speaks to my key.

1:29:49

Do you think you'd sell out the Lord and

1:29:51

Savior for 30 pieces of silver? Cause like, that's

1:29:53

probably worth some money now. No. No.

1:29:56

Probably not the literal Lord Jesus. Can I make

1:29:58

an argument? Sure. Absolutely do it

1:30:01

because it has to happen

1:30:03

for him to become what he becomes.

1:30:05

That's fair It's a part of the process.

1:30:07

You're like, no, I'm stealing to help you

1:30:12

You're welcome Everybody

1:30:14

for allowing Jesus to die for

1:30:16

your sins. Good Lord. Oh, Judas

1:30:18

is a terrible guy for giving

1:30:20

me salvation You're

1:30:23

welcome for heaven Everybody loves

1:30:25

John the Baptist because he

1:30:27

baptized Jesus Nobody gives

1:30:30

Judas credit for like literally being

1:30:32

a key player in your own

1:30:34

salvation Most important snitch

1:30:36

in history. Hell yeah You

1:30:39

know what? Your argument sounds. I would snitch

1:30:41

on y'all much less Jesus Christ.

1:30:43

I mean my God Literally

1:30:46

your God. Yes, my God You

1:30:49

go How

1:30:51

dare you bring up my favorite breakdancer

1:30:53

or whatever that guy does serving night?

1:30:56

I don't report my neighbors for smoking

1:30:58

pot. I'm not gonna report Jesus for

1:31:00

being to Jesus You know as long

1:31:02

as Jesus puffs off pass. Why would you

1:31:04

pass the Bible on the left hand side?

1:31:06

I can't believe you didn't go with burning

1:31:08

bush. Well, no one wrote a song

1:31:10

about passing weed back and forth. Oh

1:31:12

my god How you pull

1:31:14

the mickey Todd broke his mic Eat

1:31:19

it for the record. I did not break my mic.

1:31:21

I broke my mic stand and yes, it

1:31:23

is broken So I'm gonna have to hold this Gave

1:31:31

me so much shit when I broke my mic

1:31:33

stand recording I just want to I just want

1:31:35

to sit here and enjoy this moment Well in

1:31:38

his defense you've done it twice and put

1:31:40

your computer on top of a car And

1:31:43

spilled water on your computer and broke

1:31:45

your headset and the new headset still

1:31:47

cuts in Well, I am

1:31:49

a clumsy person. Well, I broke that

1:31:52

computer was I destroyed that computer I'll

1:31:55

see that computer in the square and circle

1:31:57

having to fucking hold my microphone like it's

1:32:00

2018 in the pod law. Okay,

1:32:04

so she calls her fiance the next

1:32:06

morning and he's not like, there's a

1:32:09

surge party. He's just like, oh yeah,

1:32:11

you, I remember you. He's

1:32:13

like, you're so stranded, weird. Weird,

1:32:15

you're so here. I gotta go

1:32:17

be taken to dinner by a

1:32:20

striker or whatever medical manufacturer is

1:32:22

putting on this conference so they

1:32:24

can literally bribe surgeons to sign

1:32:27

million dollar contracts. That's an industry

1:32:29

I've had some familiarity in. Look,

1:32:32

look, Abbott Lyon is giving out

1:32:34

free sphingnomamameters and I gotta be

1:32:36

there for that. Sphingnomamameters.

1:32:38

Is that a thing? I probably

1:32:40

butchered it. Yes,

1:32:43

sphing-mamam-sphing-mamam-mam- sphing-mamamameter.

1:32:48

Nailed it. Which is how

1:32:50

they measure your blood pressure.

1:32:52

Sphingnomamameter. Okay. It's

1:32:54

the squeezy thing. Anyway, Declan overhears it and is

1:32:56

just like, oh, after one day

1:32:59

of knowing me, she's not ready to break

1:33:01

up with her fiance. Right? Yeah.

1:33:04

But it's Sunday, which means there's no trains and so they have

1:33:06

to try and get to a bus. So as

1:33:08

they're walking with their suitcases, it starts hailing and they

1:33:10

duck into what they think is an empty church to

1:33:12

get away from the hail, but it's the middle of

1:33:14

a wedding. So they just crash a wedding for no

1:33:16

reason in the middle of this movie. Well, it is

1:33:19

hailing outside. I mean, like, it's hailing outside. But

1:33:21

then they go outside for the reception. Like, I

1:33:23

understand the initial like, oh, no, I'm so sorry.

1:33:26

But then they stay for like five hours. Yeah.

1:33:29

I think Paige's issue rightfully so is

1:33:31

that they stay and crash the wedding.

1:33:33

Yeah. It's not that they

1:33:35

seek shelter during a hail storm. That makes sense. Correct.

1:33:39

Sanctuary even. But like to then hang

1:33:41

out at their wedding, although the couple

1:33:43

does seem super cool about it, but

1:33:45

like that's a weird move. I mean,

1:33:47

that's very generous of them. Exactly.

1:33:49

And depending on what your wedding

1:33:51

costs, that could be a couple

1:33:53

of hundo bucks for those people

1:33:55

to be there. Unless they

1:33:58

have people who didn't show up and, you know, Whatever

1:34:00

doesn't matter. It's still cuz she moments ago was

1:34:02

like I gotta get to Dublin I gotta get

1:34:04

out of this place. Oh, but no we could

1:34:06

hang out here for like five hours, right? She

1:34:09

could have walked to Dublin by now guys. Yeah,

1:34:12

anyway She accidentally kicks her shoe

1:34:14

at the bride's face and spills

1:34:16

red wine on her dress and

1:34:18

then goes and gets drunk Just

1:34:20

outside in the wet grass and

1:34:23

they have the cringe Engiest moment

1:34:25

on the grass where she's like

1:34:27

by the little real beast whatever lake grass

1:34:29

is it shot so bad You can't tell

1:34:31

I think it's grass by the lake page.

1:34:33

I think you're right who can tell you

1:34:35

can't even see it I thought they were

1:34:37

at the two towers. Wait, what if it's shot like

1:34:40

Lord of the Rings? Oh, I

1:34:42

was like no dog. This is this is way post 9-11

1:34:44

This looks like it was shot like in the

1:34:46

nighttime and they didn't know how to light it

1:34:49

So they're like shadowed in the

1:34:51

foreground page You're only saying that

1:34:53

because you can't really see either of

1:34:55

them at all outside of their silhouette

1:34:57

That's on the lake. Do I

1:34:59

think that that's a strong choice for this moment?

1:35:02

Yeah, it's also a weird choice Real

1:35:04

weird choice I felt like they had 30

1:35:07

minutes to capture this scene before they

1:35:09

went back to their like hotel and

1:35:11

just enjoyed their Irish vacation

1:35:14

that they were on Clearly that

1:35:16

they had embezzled all this money to make this

1:35:18

film to have a really nice Irish vacation Because

1:35:21

this whole the dialogue of this scene

1:35:23

makes me it's weird She's like with

1:35:25

your beastiness and then she barfs on

1:35:27

him and he's like, okay Well, they get

1:35:29

really close to having an actual unforced.

1:35:32

I'll say kiss sure but she throws

1:35:34

up on his shoes Right and so

1:35:36

he carries her to town. Yeah,

1:35:38

where is town? How far is town? We have

1:35:40

no idea moments ago. We were nowhere near town

1:35:42

and then they wake up on a bench in

1:35:44

town Yeah for the record, they're not

1:35:46

like all the way in Dublin He just

1:35:49

took her into the local bus depot or

1:35:51

whatever whatever the local town Yeah, but like

1:35:53

she wakes up on him like laying down

1:35:55

on him and like in his lap and

1:35:57

he is like asleep on the bench supposed

1:36:00

to be asleep on the bench, but like

1:36:02

he is sitting straight up like his head's

1:36:04

not even that far down. Like a

1:36:06

scarecrow. Yeah. It looks honestly

1:36:09

like he was murdered in stage.

1:36:11

Yes. He does not look asleep. Agreed.

1:36:15

Anyway, she gets up and doesn't wake him and

1:36:17

then leaves. We don't see exactly where. And

1:36:20

then he wakes up, realizes she's gone and

1:36:22

sees a bus driving away. And

1:36:24

then she, we see over his shoulder, comes

1:36:26

up with coffee behind them. And

1:36:28

then she has this like sweet moment where

1:36:30

she sees his disappointment and like not no

1:36:33

longer being with her. I thought that that

1:36:35

was kind of a sweet little moment. So

1:36:37

I would have, if they had

1:36:40

not shot the moments where they

1:36:42

are like maybe realizing their feelings

1:36:44

for each other. So strange because

1:36:46

they're just wild closeups with no

1:36:48

background other than the sky. Yeah.

1:36:51

Lit like the opening credits to

1:36:53

a telenovela. No, it looks like good and

1:36:55

the bad and the ugly when they're like in a standoff. Because