0:00

This is the Ross and Mokko

0:02

Retro Show. All

0:07

right, here we go. Back

0:10

at it again with another episode. With

0:12

those vans. With those vans. This

0:14

is another episode of the Ross and Mokko Retro podcast.

0:17

I'm Shem. That's Damon Morry. That's

0:19

Maria. Hi. And here

0:23

we go. I don't even know why I

0:25

was so formal. I know everybody. We're so

0:27

excited that you're here. You know what? Let's

0:29

why don't we why don't we make this

0:31

audition time? Morry, you're going to introduce this.

0:33

Come on. Right from the top. Here we

0:35

go. Hey, it's 17 degrees outside looking

0:38

like we're doing it to a high of 20. A

0:40

beautiful day. Beautiful, beautiful day. He just said he

0:42

was formal and you come in your heart with a weather

0:45

report. You want to

0:47

try it? No. OK. This

0:49

is the Ross and Mokko Retro podcast. This

0:51

is where we dig back into the archives

0:53

of the Ross and Mokko show. We relive

0:55

some of our favorite moments and who would

0:57

like to go first? I'll go

1:00

first. All right. OK, I

1:02

mean, all of us sleep insane hours, but

1:04

do you actually know how to fall asleep?

1:07

I have a mask. Yeah. Right.

1:09

Yeah. Shem is trying to survive

1:11

out there basically in his sleep.

1:13

Well, Ross and Mokko go through and Morry

1:16

at the time in 2015 go

1:19

through the steps on how to fall

1:21

asleep. And it's just quite interesting. Take

1:23

a note. Ross and Mokko Retro

1:26

2015. Hey,

1:28

let me try this right here. There's

1:32

apparently a trick that

1:34

will supposedly make you fall asleep in under

1:36

a minute. Yeah.

1:39

Yeah. I'm tired all the time. So

1:41

I don't fall asleep in under. Oh, do you and Morry want

1:43

to do this trick? OK, you guys get you guys get comfy.

1:45

Hold on. Let me just go through the rules here. OK. If

1:48

you're someone who can't fall asleep within

1:50

five minutes every night, if you're someone who can

1:52

fall asleep within five minutes every night, congratulations. If

1:55

you need help, this is for you. Wait, hold

1:57

it. People are driving. Should we say spoiler alert

1:59

more? Nobody's gonna do this while they're driving.

2:05

Okay, Morrie, are you seated? I think maybe you're supposed to be

2:07

laying down and everything else. Should I go lie on the floor?

2:09

I'm gonna lie on the floor. Just stay where I can see

2:11

you. I don't trust you when you're down that low. Okay,

2:14

so for the rest of us, check out something called

2:17

478. It's an

2:19

exercise. Supposedly it can help you fall

2:21

asleep in under a minute. Here

2:23

are the five steps you have to do.

2:26

Okay, so yeah, cut the tones

2:28

here. I'm on the floor. Morrie's

2:31

on the floor. Let's put your head down, sweetheart.

2:33

You're gonna sleep like that. Okay,

2:35

Moka, are you comfy? Can you hear me? We

2:38

can hear you. Okay, step

2:41

one, press the tip of your

2:43

tongue behind your top front

2:45

teeth and keep it there the

2:47

entire time. Close

2:50

your eyes. It's called a

2:52

yoga breathing trick. So take your tongue

2:55

and keep it there the whole time behind your front

2:57

teeth. Now, exhale through your

3:00

mouth and make a whooshing

3:02

sound while you do it. Close

3:07

your mouth and breathe in slowly

3:09

through your nose for

3:11

four seconds. Here we go, get ready to breathe in, guys.

3:15

One, two, three, four. Hold

3:19

your breath for seven seconds. One,

3:21

two, three, four, five, six,

3:23

seven. Slowly

3:29

exhale through your mouth for eight seconds.

3:32

One, two, three,

3:34

four, five, six, seven,

3:36

eight. Now

3:40

we're gonna repeat this two or three more

3:42

times. Again, this is a way to fall asleep in

3:45

another minute. Moka, Morrie's sleeping too.

3:47

Jeez. Okay, so

3:49

again, take your tongue and press it against your

3:51

top front teeth. Keep

3:53

it there the entire time we do this exercise. Now

3:56

exhale through your mouth and make a whooshing sound while

3:58

you do it. Now,

4:02

close your mouth and breathe in slowly through your

4:05

nose for four seconds. One,

4:07

two, three, four. Now

4:10

hold your breath for seven seconds. One,

4:14

two, three, four,

4:17

five, six, seven.

4:20

Now slowly exhale through your mouth for

4:22

eight seconds. One, two,

4:26

three, four, five,

4:29

six, seven, eight.

4:32

Now we're going to try this one more time. Stop!

4:35

One more time. Shh, my

4:37

God. Will you stop? What's the matter with you?

4:40

Obviously, you don't want to fall asleep. Take that tongue, put it behind your

4:42

top front teeth. This is a way, by the way,

4:45

to fall asleep, they say, in under a minute. If

4:47

you have trouble sleeping, take your tongue,

4:49

push it behind your top front teeth. Keep it

4:51

there the entire time we do this. Now exhale

4:53

through your mouth. Make a swooshing sound while you

4:56

do it, gently. Now

4:59

close your mouth and breathe in through your nose

5:01

for four seconds. One, two,

5:04

three, four. Hold

5:07

your breath for seven seconds. One,

5:10

two, three, four,

5:14

five, six, seven.

5:16

Now slowly exhale through your mouth for eight

5:18

seconds. One, two,

5:21

three, four, five,

5:24

six, seven, eight.

5:28

How you feeling? Sleepy.

5:32

Let me check on Maury. Maury

5:37

looks like somebody shot him. He's...

5:41

Who sleeps like that? Maury's lying on the

5:43

floor with his arms stretched out to the

5:45

sides. It does. It looks like Maury. It

5:47

doesn't look like you're sleeping. It looks like

5:49

you're injured, bro. I'm not thinking. Did

5:52

it work though? Did you feel a little sleepy at

5:54

all? More?

5:57

Did you feel a little sleepy? I was just trying to

5:59

count like one. And like the breath. I

6:01

was having trouble with the counting part. Ha

6:04

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

6:06

ha ha ha ha ha. I

6:13

think that the way, I

6:17

mean, for me, I

6:20

fall asleep differently now. I mean, we all fall asleep

6:22

lying down. Yeah. Ha ha

6:24

ha ha ha. Yes, unless you are standing.

6:26

But no, I resonate with that because I

6:28

feel like when I was younger, I

6:30

could just fall asleep with like

6:32

the TV on. Like I always had

6:35

to have the TV on. Whereas now

6:37

I have completely shut off like all

6:39

technology and I'll put like music

6:41

or something. Oh, you need that. See, that's

6:43

so weird. I need something in the back. Pure

6:46

silence actually scares me. See, I

6:48

now need gummies and chewables. And

6:53

drugs. Oh, okay. And sometimes I'll put

6:55

on like a documentary that I really

6:57

enjoy that I've seen a million times

6:59

about the fashion designer, Halston. And it

7:01

just put his voice, puts me to

7:03

sleep. And Shem, you

7:05

just click survive time. I

7:07

just pray and I say, please. You should

7:09

try Halston. Please wake up. Morrie,

7:12

why don't you go next, man? Okay, so

7:14

I want to take us back to 2013

7:16

to the time, sorry,

7:20

2014. I don't know who

7:22

cares. A date back in

7:24

time. Okay. I thought

7:26

that Roz and Mocha would completely forget that

7:28

it was my birthday. So I went to

7:31

the streets and talked to a whole bunch

7:33

of people about what happens if your coworkers

7:35

forget. Oh no. And it was

7:37

quite funny. And I think that it still works today. Oh

7:39

no. All right, let's listen. Roz

7:42

and Mocha, retro 2014. This

7:46

is the Roz and Mocha shell. Good morning. It's

7:50

also, damn it, Morrie's

7:52

birthday today. Happy birthday, damn

7:54

it, Morrie. At damn it, Morrie on Twitter,

7:56

by the way. Damn

7:59

it, Morrie was. Convinced that we

8:02

were gonna forget his birthday. So he made preparations.

8:04

I don't know it seems like something Ross would

8:06

do I did Okay,

8:11

go if mocha didn't tell you you'd never know idea

8:13

correct So technically

8:15

forgot, you know why no, I didn't

8:17

forget anything. I've never bothered to learn

8:20

which is insanely ignorant No, it's not

8:22

insanely as I said as I've said

8:24

you are not five You're

8:27

not turning 16. You're not turning 18. You're not turning

8:29

21 I'll even give somebody 21 that

8:31

you can make a big deal. I feel 30 your big

8:33

birthday 30 is you're

8:35

on your own 30 is a big deal for

8:37

you It's not a big deal for anybody else

8:39

in your life. Look, you know, I whole worker hold

8:41

on a second here I'm a co-worker you should not

8:44

in any way be Offended

8:46

or upset if I don't remember

8:48

when your birthday is no, can

8:51

I say something heartfelt? Yes, can

8:53

I say something heartfelt? Yeah, yeah,

8:55

give my heartfelt music. No, listen

8:59

Go for it. Say say your piece get ready for

9:01

the drama y'all. I Look

9:03

up to you. Okay, you know, like

9:06

this is like a dream job. Okay,

9:08

I live and breathe the show Okay,

9:11

Roz is my life and

9:13

when Roz doesn't remember your birthday. It's a

9:15

slap in the face Okay, but listen, no

9:17

take what I said there your

9:19

obsession with me I

9:21

you were not you were not hired to

9:24

be obsessed with me. No, it came naturally

9:27

That's not my problem though That's

9:29

not my problem But when somebody works so

9:31

hard for you the least you could do

9:33

the least tell you more you

9:36

did a great job That's all I that's

9:38

the least I can do and that's also

9:40

the most I can do. I'm not required

9:42

when Roz Weston Says hey,

9:44

happy birthday You have

9:47

no idea how far that I did say that

9:49

this morning. Yeah because Mocha told you of course

9:51

So it's not from you. Wait a minute. I

9:53

still say happy birthday you then Maury, you don't

9:55

feel the same way about me I said happy

9:57

breath. Well, you know, hang on a second When

10:00

you walked in here, when you walked in here this

10:02

morning, what did I do? I came up to you

10:04

and I said, as soon as

10:06

you said good morning, I said, happy birthday, Morrie, and

10:08

I gave you a big hug. Whoa. Yeah, no, hey,

10:10

no, we really knew. I'm not talking to you, though.

10:12

That's the guy's birthday. I'm not talking, Mocha, when I'm at

10:14

home, you're often like, you and Jenna, like,

10:17

I wish my relationship was like a mirrored

10:19

image of that. I'm just talking about Ron.

10:22

Okay, anyway, so Morrie made preparations

10:25

in anticipating that we would forget his birthday. Um,

10:28

and, uh, what did you do? You went out

10:30

and talked to people about- I talked to people

10:32

like, should a direct coworker remember your birthday? No,

10:34

is the answer. I can do that right now.

10:37

Sandy, do you think it's wrong that Roz and Mocha

10:39

forgot my birthday? Again? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of

10:42

all, Mocha's never forgotten your birthday. No, no, I'm just

10:44

prepared. I was prepared. Like, what if I was just-

10:46

But there's no precedent for that. Mocha has never once

10:48

forgot your birthday. No, but I was just prepared in

10:50

case it happened. I wanted

10:52

to do my homework. Okay. Bruh,

10:55

you failed. Sandy, do you think it's wrong

10:57

that Roz and Mocha forgot my birthday? Again?

11:00

Again, but that's awful because, you know, these

11:02

are people you work every day with. Like,

11:04

you know, they're almost like your work family.

11:06

So they should remember your birthday and appreciate

11:08

you and celebrate you. So it's really

11:10

sad that they forgot your birthday. Happy

11:12

birthday! Yes, it's very wrong too, because

11:15

work with him, you had to support

11:17

him. Boo. It

11:20

sounds drunk. If you

11:23

have given that specific coworker some sort

11:25

of gratification for their own birthday, then

11:27

I feel that it is very,

11:29

very much so justified that they

11:32

reciprocate such actions. So

11:35

tell me, is it wrong for a direct coworker to

11:37

forget your birthday? Yes, I forget all

11:39

the time. But why? I

11:43

work on the emergency room and it's not

11:45

important. So should a

11:47

coworker remember your birthday? No. Not?

11:51

No, yes. Why? Because

11:53

you are in the highest stress environment and

11:55

the patients are their first priority. They

11:58

don't know, either our friends are... You work directly

12:01

with them No, it's just a birthday

12:04

People thought I want them to remember my birthday Well,

12:06

remind them the day before I

12:11

never thought I'd say this but I agree

12:13

with the drunk doctor Yo,

12:18

hang on a second, I gotta go back and listen to this

12:21

I don't know who you were lady, but

12:23

man No

12:29

Not? Hang on a second Yes,

12:31

I forget all the time So

12:34

tell me, is it wrong for a direct co-worker

12:36

to forget your birthday? Yes, I

12:38

forget all the time Well, why?

12:42

I work on the emergency room and it's

12:44

not important No, wait, so should

12:46

a co-worker remember your birthday? No

12:49

Not? No, yes Why?

12:53

Because you work in the highest stress environment and

12:55

the patients are their first priority See?

12:59

The patients are their priority guys

13:01

It's totally true The

13:03

patients are their priority Anyway,

13:07

after today of course I will forget when your

13:09

birthday is morning But the patients

13:11

are their priority? So

13:14

in the meantime, happy birthday David Morrie Oh,

13:18

but I'm not done, I have another clip Oh,

13:20

a double whammy This

13:22

is the time that on my birthday

13:24

I had Roz's mom calling to wish

13:26

me a happy birthday You asked

13:29

her to call you to wish you a happy birthday? Yeah

13:31

Oh, okay Well, I mean, I can't be

13:34

that surprised But it took Roz a while

13:36

to figure out it was his mom Oh

13:38

no, alright, let's listen Roz

13:41

and Mocha, Retro 2015 Let's

13:45

go with line 6, you've been waiting a while, good

13:47

morning Oh hi, good morning How are ya?

13:49

I'm fine, how are you? Good Good,

13:52

I'm just calling, I heard it was

13:54

Morrie's birthday You heard correct And

13:56

I thought I would just give him a quick call

13:58

and say hi guys, happy birthday Thank

14:00

you, Diana Diana say good morning

14:02

to them, Maury. Oh, that's my

14:04

Diana stop it. I don't know is it

14:06

my Mom

14:09

do you have more than one mom? Yeah,

14:12

it's your mom Hey,

14:14

baby. How are you? Stop it Maury? How

14:18

are you? Oh this made my day? Roz's

14:21

mom called to wish me a happy birthday.

14:23

Hi ma. Hi. How

14:25

are you? I'm good Are

14:27

you doing you killing me today with this? So

14:30

I made his day, but I ruined yours well, so

14:32

that also made my day Which

14:35

I think is the best birthday present Maury could ever get from

14:38

you I love you. How

14:40

you doing? I'm good. Oh

14:42

and and and I have a question. Oh,

14:44

no. Yes You're like me. You know, what are you two

14:46

are friends? I will not do I

14:48

will not do anything unless I'm allowed to ask

14:51

a question What's your what's

14:53

your question, ma? I want

14:55

to know how in God's name He got the

14:57

name Nick name gamut before his name. Listen, we've

14:59

been over this a million times Tell

15:03

you the honest truth, okay,

15:05

we call him damn it Maury simply because

15:08

we're not allowed to say Maybe

15:21

he's gonna talk to me and tell me why

15:24

Okay, okay Ma Maury this is my

15:26

moment. Oh my god. Thanks mom You're

15:29

the best friend anyone could ever have you have

15:31

a wonderful day. Oh, you're the best. I can't

15:33

wait to see you soon Treat

15:36

yourself do something fun. Oh my

15:38

goodness. Absolutely She's

15:40

on you too. Bye you too. I

15:42

swear So When

15:49

is your birthday again tomorrow, oh it's tomorrow.

15:51

Yeah. Oh Their

15:57

buddy All

16:00

right, I'm next. Let's go back 10 years. Oh,

16:02

you know what? This is actually perfect. Speaking

16:05

of birthdays, how many here have done birthday

16:07

shots before? Oh, who hasn't? Right. When's the

16:09

last time Maria like last week? Last night.

16:11

Last night. Yeah, literally birthday shots

16:13

for my friend's birthday. It was like two weeks

16:15

ago. But you know, I've never done I've never done

16:17

a shot off a hot guy's chest. Well, weird. Oh,

16:19

my God, Maria has. I'm

16:22

not seeing. Oh, wow.

16:26

Good question about that. Anything I didn't say, I didn't

16:28

say yes or no. But can I ask a question

16:30

about that? Yeah, actually, no. Do

16:34

you run the shot down his chest and lick

16:36

the shot as it's running down or

16:38

is it all just in the belly button? No,

16:42

your mom and dad are listening. No, I

16:45

just know. No, no.

16:47

All right. Well, 10 years ago,

16:50

Mocha talked about doing shots. Ross thinks he's too

16:52

old for that. This is what this is how

16:54

that played out. Ross and

16:56

Mocha. Retro 2014. So,

16:59

Ron's Moka show World Cup action

17:02

today. Twelve o'clock Australia,

17:05

Netherlands, Spain and

17:07

Chile and three this

17:09

afternoon and then Cameroon and Croatia at

17:12

six. There you go. Yes,

17:15

it was a tough day. Brazil and

17:17

Mexico. Mm hmm. That

17:20

Mexican goalie is like. He's

17:23

going to become president, that guy. What

17:27

a hero. What's that? It's

17:30

at 19 degrees right now. Where are we? I

17:32

can't find my weather. Steve Sanders talking to him.

17:34

I was. All

17:38

flustered. Why? I

17:41

just love nine to one. Oh, so much. I

17:44

really do. By the way, if you missed our interview

17:47

with I and zeroing, it was

17:49

going to be in Sharknado two on sci

17:51

fi July 30th. We're

17:55

going to get that posted for you at kiss. I need

17:57

to find out after nine. It's at 19 right now. It's

18:00

gonna feel like 32 more rain and thunderstorms for later

18:02

on this afternoon. Not nearly as

18:05

devastating as they were yesterday

18:08

with the tornadoes. And then for tonight down to

18:10

16 Thursday, mix us on a cloud way less

18:13

humid 24 Friday mix us

18:15

on a cloud 24 Saturday summer arrives at

18:17

651 am. At

18:20

what time? 651 am. I'm

18:22

gonna set my alarm for

18:24

650 run downstairs, grab

18:26

a beer. And then as

18:29

soon as 651 hits chug chug

18:31

chug chug chug. When's

18:34

the last time you chug the beer? When

18:36

is the last time I chug the beer?

18:38

When's the last time you did a shot?

18:43

Last... many

18:45

two weeks ago? Oh my god. You're

18:47

way too old to be doing shots dude. Why? You

18:50

are way too old to be doing shots. How do

18:52

you figure? Way too old. That

18:54

is there's an age that you need to stop

18:56

doing shots. Yeah when you're dead. No no no

18:58

no no no no no no no no no

19:01

no no. What'd you do a shot of? It

19:06

wasn't to keel. Oh vodka. Vodka. You're

19:09

way too old to be doing vodka shots bro. Why? No

19:11

I'm not. What are you? What

19:13

are you a college? A boss that's what I am. I'm a boss. Doing

19:16

a shot. Why would you do a shot? Why not have

19:18

a drink? I had a drink as

19:20

well. I know but why? What do you what is

19:22

this like why do a

19:25

shot? I don't understand doing a shot. It

19:28

makes no sense to me doing a shot. Why

19:30

not just have a drink? Like

19:32

then you have nothing. You do a shot and then

19:34

you have nothing. No. You have nothing.

19:36

You're sitting there with nothing and then you have

19:38

to busy yourself with

19:41

something else. Like why are you

19:43

doing a shot or another drink? You are son

19:45

you are too old to be doing shots. No

19:48

way. You are too old to be doing shots. You

19:51

are 100 percent. 100

19:54

percent too old to be doing shots. If there's

19:57

any day Roz. Any day. This

20:00

show mm-hmm where you sound like

20:02

an old man. I sound like an old

20:04

man today No, no, I may sound like an

20:06

old man, but I'm not the old man. That's

20:08

trying to hang on to something that ain't there

20:11

No, I can't do shots with some no

20:13

why would you know no no no no No

20:19

No no you're hanging on to something that

20:21

ain't there no mo bro. It

20:23

ain't there no more There

20:30

is a cutoff. I don't know what that cutoff is, but I

20:32

know you're on the other side of it That's all I know

20:34

about you and shots stop doing shots when I'm dead All

20:37

right shots for life shots

20:39

for life All

20:42

right here. Let's just oh my god somebody's here for

20:44

me to drink On

20:50

the show do you guys think could handle

20:52

the most amount of shots? It's

20:55

between Maury and Maria. Are you crazy? No?

20:58

No, I think it would be you were

21:00

do you not remember Jamaica? I

21:02

still here to live and talk about yes, but you

21:05

were like as for you no I

21:07

was not I was actually I had a very

21:09

light buzz, but more you haven't even seen me

21:11

throw it back Trust me I can hold my

21:13

liquor I think Ross would put up a really

21:15

big competition with me really

21:17

see you guys think I'm an ala light drama lightweight

21:20

You're a boring drunk I've

21:23

drank with you at moku's wedding and it's

21:25

boring no, but cuz you just keep drinking

21:27

and nothing happens That's what I'm saying. I

21:29

think I think I think I'd handle it

21:31

actually that you know what I just I

21:35

could handle my alcohol Wait

21:37

like way more than I can now I think the older

21:39

I've gotten the less I can drink Mmm.

21:41

Oh my god is somebody here with drinks. No, I

21:43

know I mean, you know, I would love one Yeah,

21:45

there's no alcohol and hopefully you don't need a girth

21:52

Alright well we're done for today Thanks for listening for another

21:54

episode of the rosmo Happy

22:00

early birthday goes out to Dammit Maury once again.

22:02

Yes. And yeah, that's it.

22:04

Tomorrow, tomorrow. Maury, I hope you do get to take

22:06

a shot off someone's chest for your birthday. I mean,

22:08

I guess, sure, my husband. Yeah, that would be great.

22:10

Wow. I mean, I think he'd like that.

22:12

Wow. Thanks for

22:15

listening to the Roz and Mocha Show podcast.

22:17

Catch the guys live. Weekday mornings from 6

22:19

to 10 on Kiss 92.5. Kiss92.5.com.

22:23

Or download the Kiss 92.5 app.