Episode Transcript
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0:00
This is the Roz and Mocha
0:03
Retro Show. Roz Party Lookout. All
0:06
right, we are back with another episode of the Roz
0:09
and Mocha Retro Podcast. This is where we dig into
0:11
the archives of the Roz and Mocha Show and relive
0:13
some of our favorite moments and your favorite moments. I'm
0:15
Shem, that's Dammit, Maury, that's Maria. Who would like to
0:17
go first? I'll go first. Go ahead, Maria. Okay.
0:21
So if you had one wish, okay?
0:24
But your partner's one
0:26
wish was to change something about
0:29
you. What would you do? Would
0:31
you be happy about it or would you be sad about
0:33
it? I think it depends on what the wish was, right?
0:36
Yeah. Like if the thing to change about
0:38
me was like a physical feature
0:41
or something, then I don't know. Like
0:43
if it just changed my wardrobe, I'd be like, okay, cool. See,
0:45
I don't... The way I look
0:48
at it is that like they shouldn't be
0:50
wishing to change anything about you. What
0:52
if they're given that wish though? Like yeah, this is yours,
0:54
you're saying you would pass it. No, you pick the
0:56
wish. You have one wish. Your partner says,
0:59
I want to change this about Shem. Would
1:01
you be happy or upset? I would hope
1:03
that they would decline, but... But
1:07
if it's for the better. Better for
1:09
who though? What if it's not better for me? What if they're
1:11
like, I want a smaller you, Shem, but
1:13
I like the way that I look. You
1:15
know? Well then, I mean, then
1:17
that's a whole other problem. I mean, if it's just
1:19
like, I want to change about you, Snore, like
1:22
you're a, you know... Like
1:24
sleeping shoes. Yeah, totally fair. Totally fair.
1:27
Totally fair. All right, so when is... So they
1:29
debate, Roz and Mocha debate about this and I
1:31
don't know, it's quite interesting. All right, let's listen. Roz
1:34
and Mocha, Retro 2015. It's
1:39
also World Wish Day. So
1:42
let me ask you this question. Yes. Am
1:44
I the only one? You know some people sit around. Yes.
1:47
Hashtag blessed. Hashtag grateful. You know, some people sit
1:49
around, they wonder like what they would do if
1:51
they won the lottery and all this stuff, right?
1:53
You secretly spend that money in your head. Yeah.
1:56
When you're alone, you just do things like this. I always wonder
1:58
what I would do if I had... Wishes, which
2:00
is weird Like if I
2:02
had like wishes like I could wish for I could
2:05
wish for something. So here's the question I'll pose it
2:07
to the two of you. Good morning. Morrie. Yeah, hashtag
2:09
blessed hashtag grateful It's four one
2:12
six eight seven. Oh eighty eight eighty eight if
2:14
you had one wish, huh, right? Yeah, if
2:16
you had one wish And
2:21
you used it to change a Part
2:26
of your partner Okay
2:31
Use it to change if you
2:33
wish like physically if you yes
2:35
if you wished a physical change
2:37
on your partner would they be?
2:40
Happy about it or would they be pissed at
2:42
you for it? I'll give you
2:44
an example if I wished Katherine was six inches
2:47
taller She'd probably be very happy about it. If
2:49
I wish Katherine had bigger boobs. She'd be pissed
2:51
at me for it, right? It's
2:54
a very selfish thing if I use my one wish to give
2:56
her bigger boobs Maybe she
2:58
don't want right, you know exactly that's what I'm
3:00
saying. Yeah. Yeah, right if you had one wish
3:03
One wish and you used
3:06
it to physically alter your partner Would they
3:08
be happy for it or would they be
3:10
pissed at you for it? This is a
3:12
very tricky question Anyways
3:15
four one six eight seven. Oh eighty eight eighty eight Maury
3:18
if you had one wish to physically
3:20
alter your partner would Matthew be happy
3:22
about it or would he be pissed
3:24
about it before you answer I'm gonna
3:26
say that I have a feeling that
3:30
Maury and his fiancee dammit Matthew
3:32
spoke about this already before after they have
3:35
I keep it clean Maury I
3:37
would wish that he would stop bothering me
3:39
about my belly. No, that's not that's not
3:41
physical When
3:45
I repeated the question to you looked at me like I
3:47
was treating you like an idiot Okay,
3:50
I will repeat the question to you
3:52
again I Listen
3:55
I get the question you don't
3:57
get the question Because
4:00
the answer you gave was not
4:02
in relation to the actual question.
4:04
It's my physicality that I'm wishing
4:06
that he wouldn't make fun of.
4:10
No! Okay. Uh-huh.
4:12
Ask again. If you had one wish, and
4:15
you had to use that wish to
4:17
physically change something about your
4:19
partner, would they be grateful
4:21
for the change you gave them, or would they
4:24
be pissed at the change you gave them? Pissed?
4:28
Pissed? What would that
4:30
change be? Keep
4:32
it clean. Well, then I
4:34
can't say it. Oh, Jesus. No, I
4:36
wish that Matthew did not
4:38
have the ability to eat everything and
4:41
stay skinny. Ah, well, that's no, that
4:43
doesn't count. Physically
4:46
change something about your partner. Physically
4:49
change something about your partner. So
4:51
you would make Matthew fatter. Yes. Okay,
4:54
that's what we're looking for now. Alright.
4:56
And in turn, it wouldn't matter how
4:58
I looked. Okay,
5:00
so you would put like, you would wish, that's
5:02
a terrible wish. Oh my God. Are
5:05
we talking like a couple pounds, or are we talking like 10, 15? Oh,
5:08
like 30 pounds. Okay, so. 30
5:11
pounds? He only weighs 120. This is why we
5:13
asked this question. So, Maury's wish, if you had
5:15
one wish, and you had to physically alter your
5:17
partner, the question is, would they be grateful for
5:20
it, or would they be pissed for it? Maury
5:22
is so self-conscious about his own body, does not
5:24
like the way Matthew talks to Maury about his
5:26
body, so Maury would use his wish to even
5:28
it out, and he would put 30 pounds on
5:31
Matthew. Yeah, that is
5:33
a terrible wish. That is
5:35
horrible. That is a terrible,
5:37
terrible wish. It is, and that's why
5:39
I asked the question, could you
5:41
imagine, Matthew just wakes up one day,
5:43
all of a sudden he's stuck, he's
5:46
starting to wear Maury's clothes. All
5:49
those striped shirts. So,
5:53
what would... Mine, I think... Then my
5:55
other dream would come true, where I'm
5:57
dating myself. So
6:00
would uh would your wife be grateful or would
6:02
she be or would she be I think she
6:04
would be grateful because
6:07
my wish would be For
6:11
her to have The
6:13
perfect hair that she didn't have to go
6:15
to the salon Go get it
6:18
done all you wish that she would just always have just
6:20
perfect hair I think she would be grateful okay, you're like
6:22
yo my hair looks bomb I don't gotta write I don't
6:24
gotta do nothing to it I don't ever have to go
6:26
to the salon again right, but she would also never be
6:28
able to change it though I'm
6:31
sure she's fine with that yeah, you would give your wife
6:33
the same hairstyle for the rest of her life Oh, yeah,
6:36
maybe not I think at some point she might be
6:38
pissed at that See
6:41
it's a very difficult question I
6:43
know bro. I know without having
6:46
the consequence of answering Yes,
6:53
yes, I want to answer the question. I just
6:55
don't want to have to answer for the question
6:57
right right So
7:01
far clear none blowing up yet
7:03
hashtag grateful You
7:11
have anything that you guys would change about your
7:14
partners or ex-partners how long
7:16
you have Other
7:20
next this goes back to 2015 and So
7:24
Maury has a pretty healthy beard Mocha
7:27
Roz all have very healthy beards, but there was
7:29
a pride but beard as in physical beard Yes,
7:31
not a woman that's pretending to be my partner
7:33
so that no one knows I'm gay is that
7:36
what a beard is you didn't know that No,
7:38
I didn't know Yeah,
7:42
yeah like you like your yeah, oh, it's like
7:44
a cover yeah, okay well a beard We're talking
7:46
about the physical sense the physical beard hair on
7:48
your face There was a time believe
7:51
it or not rosa mocha did not have beards
7:53
And they this goes back to 2015
7:56
when they were finally starting to grow
7:58
their beards in ridiculous conversation Take
8:00
a listen to this. It's
8:04
the kind of winter
8:06
day where you know
8:09
when you breathe in through your nose and
8:12
stuff just starts to stick. Oh
8:14
yeah because your inside nose hairs
8:16
freeze instantly. Yeah it's that
8:18
kind of day. So grow a beard
8:20
if you can before you leave the house. Oh my face
8:22
was so warm this morning. Moka
8:25
and I both grew, well Moka's beard is
8:27
much stronger than mine by the way. Oh yeah. And
8:30
by the way there is only one way to describe a man's beard.
8:33
It's full. No, strong. Oh
8:35
okay. That's it. That's the only word that should
8:37
ever be used to describe a man's beard and if a man does not have
8:39
a strong beard nothing should be said about his beard. Hahahaha.
8:42
Right? Like Moka right now,
8:44
very strong beard. Yeah. Very
8:46
strong. I'm going for the Rick Ross logo. You
8:48
have and your hairline on your beard. I'm
8:53
trying not to describe this. Your
8:55
hair starts right underneath your bottom
8:57
lip. Oh yeah easily. Like
8:59
you don't have the two little patches under your
9:01
lip. Like you have full hair. Like
9:04
you know. People wish they could get a beard. A
9:07
beard hairline like that. Your beard hairline is
9:09
very strong and you have some grays in
9:11
it too. I do. How did that
9:13
make you feel when that came in? Uh a little
9:16
uncomfortable. Did it? But then I
9:18
embraced it. Cause you don't have gray on
9:20
your head right? No none. Do you have
9:22
gray on your chest? Oh dude I found
9:24
one. Hahahaha. Just the other night. Hahahaha. Just
9:26
the other night. Yeah. I
9:28
was going to text you but I thought that would be weird. But
9:31
I found one. You found a gray
9:34
on your chest. Just one. One lonely gray.
9:36
Yeah. One less lonely gray. Yeah. And
9:39
I was like WTF. Yeah. That's not supposed
9:42
to happen. No did you leave it or did you like did you
9:44
let it party with all the other ones or did you get rid
9:46
of it? Yeah still there. Still there. Yeah man
9:48
you gotta leave that. Yeah. I got lots of
9:50
grays on my chest now. I got lots of grays on my beard too. Yeah. Yeah.
9:53
What's. Good morning Morrie.
9:55
Good morning. Hot.
9:58
Delicious. No,
18:00
I like baggy pants. You like baggy
18:02
pants, okay. Sometimes when the- More room for
18:04
the hair to grow. I know, that's why. That's why the
18:06
hair on my legs is very short. I
18:08
think maybe sometimes when your knee rubs up
18:11
against denim, do you spend a lot of
18:13
time on your knees? I just put soap
18:15
on it and that's it. Not really, I
18:17
don't usually look at my knees. Okay, but
18:19
you spend a lot of time on your
18:21
knees though. By clean, if you mean by
18:23
cleaning it, then yes. No, I don't mean,
18:26
do you pay a lot of attention to
18:28
your knees? No, I don't mean like- Like
18:31
a shower. Like when you see somebody, you know, who made
18:33
a beautiful dinner and you know, I say, did you spend
18:35
a lot of time on that? That's not what I mean.
18:39
When I say, do you spend a lot of
18:41
time on your knees, I mean, are you physically
18:43
on your knees a lot? Oh yes, yes, yes.
18:45
Oh, of course you are. Yes, well that will
18:47
explain it then, because sometimes the rubbing and the
18:49
pressure and everything else, you will get like a
18:51
built up, you know, hair in there. And then
18:53
eventually that skin maybe just opens up and then
18:55
you get this giant hair that comes out of
18:57
it. Oh, that makes sense.
19:00
Yeah, it's like me, I spend a ton of time on
19:02
my chest and next thing I know I have four inch nipple hair.
19:05
That's a thought. Oh yeah, I
19:07
also have a nipple hair too.
19:10
Yeah. It's maybe an inch long.
19:12
Hey dude, I'm gonna be honest with you,
19:14
I gotta stop this conversation. All right. Okay.
19:16
Thanks for the call. I
19:20
mean, I don't know where to go from that, but
19:22
gross. What else can you
19:25
say? Hey listen, thank you for listening to
19:27
another episode of the Ross Mocha Retro Podcast,
19:29
where we relive some fun moments and awkward
19:31
and weird, nasty moments sometimes from the Ross
19:33
Mocha Show. If you have a moment that
19:35
you'd like for us to relive, just let us know about it,
19:37
okay? And we'll do that. Have a good one. Bye. Thanks
19:40
for listening to the Ross and Mocha Show
19:42
Podcast. Catch the guys live. Weekday mornings from
19:44
six to 10. On Kiss 92.5. Kiss92.5.com.
19:48
Or download the Kiss 92.5 app.
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