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savings and more inspiring flavors. I

0:57

showed up with about 2 pounds of hamburger. While

0:59

the guys cooked, I went swimming with all the

1:01

kids in our pond. Shane sat near the guys

1:03

on our phone. Around 5.30, the guys

1:05

called the kids up for food. Me and

1:07

my middle child, whose 9, weren't hungry yet,

1:09

so we kept swimming. We

1:11

spent a good 40 extra minutes in the pond

1:14

on our tubes. I wasn't paying attention to anything

1:16

that was going on near the grill. Around 6.15,

1:18

my husband said that he was going to go

1:20

on a beer run, so I tell my son

1:22

that we should probably go eat now. My

1:25

husband and his friend Matt are gone by the time that

1:27

we get to the grill, and so is Jane. Well,

1:29

we get up to the grill, and

1:32

all the food is gone. Literally

1:35

everything. I call my husband

1:37

and ask him, where's all the food, and

1:39

he said that it should be on the

1:41

grill. I tell him that everything is gone.

1:44

There was a long pause before my husband

1:46

said, Jane asked if she could take some

1:48

leftovers, but I didn't think that she would

1:50

take all of it. He tells me that

1:52

there were at least 8 burgers and 10

1:54

hot dogs left, as well as macaroni salad

1:56

when he left for the store 10 minutes

1:58

ago. I tell him that he was going to be a

2:00

good friend. to call Matt and see where the hell all

2:02

the food is. He does. He then

2:04

calls me back and says that Matt

2:06

claims that Jane only took a few

2:08

and that they'd already been eaten. But

2:11

my oldest son, who's 13, straight

2:13

up tells me that he saw

2:15

Jane walk off our property carrying

2:18

the entire dish. All of our

2:20

barbecue was in one of those

2:22

extra-large tin foil barbecue dishes. Anyways,

2:24

I'm pissed at this point. Me

2:26

and my son hadn't eaten anything.

2:29

My husband is also pissed, but he just

2:31

grabbed me and my son something from the

2:33

store instead of making a huge fuss. I

2:35

don't really blame him. Him and Matt work

2:37

together, so it is what

2:39

it is. But anyways, much to

2:41

my surprise, Jane and her kids

2:43

come back over 45 minutes

2:46

later and ask if they can have

2:49

some of my cake? What? I tell

2:51

Jane that her kids can have some

2:53

cake, but she can't. She asks why

2:56

and I said, I'm pretty sure you've

2:58

eaten plenty considering you took off with

3:00

my entire barbecue dinner before me and my

3:02

son could eat anything. She tried arguing that

3:05

my husband told her that she could have

3:07

it and that half of it was hers

3:09

because they brought two pounds of hamburger meat

3:12

and that she didn't realize that me and

3:14

my kids hadn't eaten. To be clear, she

3:16

was beside the grill the entire time. I

3:19

just shrugged my shoulders and walk away.

3:21

She tells her kids, let's go and

3:23

they leave without cake. Now I'm feeling

3:25

like I may be the butthole. No

3:28

one has said anything, but I know there's tension.

3:30

O.P. O.P. is

3:32

literally next door neighbors with the

3:34

hamburglar. Who steals birthday hot dogs

3:37

and hamburgers? This sounds like a

3:39

plot out of like Paw Patrol

3:41

or Dora the Explorer. Oh

3:43

no, the evil villain

3:46

monkey has stolen our

3:48

hamburgers. Honestly, O.P., I'm really surprised

3:50

that you and your kids, maybe even your

3:52

husband, didn't just walk over to their house

3:54

and take back the hamburgers and hot dogs.

3:56

Because your husband said there was eight burgers

3:58

and ten hot dogs left. Except there is

4:00

no way that a grown woman and three

4:02

kids could eat all that food in just

4:04

45 minutes. Also a

4:07

full bowl of macaroni salad, also your dish, I

4:09

have to point out, she stole the dish. Just

4:11

go get it back, eat your food! Man,

4:14

this woman's audacity is actually funny. You know,

4:16

honestly, now that I think about it, isn't

4:18

it weird that she left with the food

4:20

and came back? Who leaves a party and

4:23

then comes back later for cake? It kind

4:25

of makes me think that she intentionally left

4:27

just so that she can see all the

4:29

food, thinking, oh, I'll come back later

4:31

for cake? I guess that's the only

4:34

explanation I can think of. OP, I

4:36

am angry on your behalf. This is

4:38

ridiculous. OP, you get 0 out

4:40

of 5 buttholes. Jane gets 2 out of 5

4:42

buttholes. And honestly, I'm also giving your

4:44

husband 1 out of 5 buttholes because this is

4:46

his friend that he invited to your birthday party,

4:49

which already is a little bit of a jerk

4:51

thing to do because the birthday should be about

4:53

you instead of about him and his friends, but

4:55

I'm not going to dwell on that. He should

4:57

have at least stepped up and been like, don't

4:59

worry, wife, I will rescue your stolen hamburgers

5:01

and hot dogs so that you can eat your

5:03

birthday dinner and then just walked over there and

5:06

gotten the meat back. I mean, if you think

5:08

about it, that's one of the main responsibilities of

5:10

a husband, to give his wife some hot dog.

5:12

Am I the butthole for ignoring my injured mom

5:14

after she cut me out of her will? I'm

5:17

a 50-year-old woman and I'm the oldest

5:19

child of divorced parents. My father is

5:21

happily remarried with more kids, but my

5:23

mother stayed single and relies on me

5:26

and my younger brother, who's 45, to

5:28

come help her out in her retirement village

5:31

regularly. It takes a flight and a rental

5:33

car to get to her, so it's kind

5:35

of a pain for me. What makes it

5:37

worse is that my younger brother, who's single

5:39

with no kids, will never go down when

5:41

she needs something. He only visits

5:44

her when it aligns with his schedule,

5:46

so he'll go down during his summer

5:48

vacation and then help with things like

5:50

moving furniture or taking her car in

5:52

to be serviced. However, if it's an

5:54

emergency of any kind, it's all on

5:56

me. I'm married with kids in school

5:58

and I have a deal. decent career and

6:01

a side gig. But all hell

6:03

breaks loose if I don't go.

6:05

I'll get passive aggressive texts, my

6:07

relatives will pester me, etc. When

6:10

I ask if anyone else could step

6:12

in, the answer is always, but you're

6:14

the one that she wants. You might

6:16

be thinking, how big of a deal

6:19

can this be? This woman is the

6:21

most accident and illness-prone human you'll ever

6:23

meet. In the past few years, she's

6:25

been in a hit-on-car collision, she's had

6:28

cancer twice, she got t-boned in another

6:30

car accident, and she had

6:32

pneumonia. She wasn't like this growing up,

6:34

it's only since she retired. So

6:37

even staying the least amount of

6:39

days possible, I have to burn

6:41

through paid time off, cash and

6:43

savings, and leave my kids behind

6:45

to have milestones without me. And

6:47

usually, whenever I'm with my mother,

6:49

she goes on and on about

6:51

my perfect brother. See how he

6:53

hung that new picture when he

6:55

was here? He's so handy. It's

6:57

annoying as hell, but I've had a lifetime

7:00

to get used to it. Some months ago,

7:02

I found out by accident that with the

7:04

exception of a small amount of money for

7:07

my kids, my mom is leaving everything to

7:09

my brother. It'll be a decent amount, over

7:11

$250,000. I was so perplexed

7:16

and admittedly hurt. She refused to talk

7:18

to me about it, she hung up

7:20

on me at Ignored Texts, so I

7:22

was stuck trying to figure out what

7:24

I did to make her decide to

7:27

do this. Eventually, one of her siblings

7:29

told me that it was to ensure

7:31

that my brother can retire comfortably. He's

7:33

always worked low-wage jobs. However, he has

7:35

few expenses because he lives completely free

7:37

with a wealthy relative who has a

7:39

large home that he will also be

7:41

inheriting. Recently, my mom had another accident

7:43

and called me to help. I got

7:45

the call from the hospital and then

7:47

from her rehab center. Because even though

7:49

my brother is her medical power of

7:51

attorney, I am always the name and

7:54

number that she gives out. When I

7:56

didn't say that I'd be coming, I

7:58

was not. she started sending texts complaining

8:00

about how hard life is for her.

8:02

My love for her and care for

8:04

her was never based on money. She's

8:06

my mom. But I ended up telling

8:08

her that I couldn't come down. I

8:10

just couldn't bring myself to do it.

8:12

I know that she's in pain and

8:14

struggling. I know that her siblings and

8:16

friends are too old and too far

8:18

away to be much help. But in

8:20

a moment of spite, I told her

8:22

to get my brother to do it.

8:25

And of course, she defended him and

8:27

added that he couldn't, as a guy,

8:29

help with some things. My spouse says

8:31

that I'm in the right, that

8:33

I've prioritized her needs all my

8:35

life, and even if it's because

8:37

of the will, it was past

8:39

time for me to stop doing

8:41

everything. But others, especially my family,

8:43

can't understand why I haven't gone

8:45

down yet, and I end up

8:47

feeling so disappointed in myself. My

8:49

mom sends me woe is me

8:51

text messages about how she'll manage

8:53

without me even though everything's a

8:55

struggle. Admittedly, the injuries she has

8:57

are difficult. And now she's sending

8:59

texts about how she understands that I'm too

9:01

busy, and she'll call the youngest of her siblings,

9:04

who's 67 if she has to. So am I

9:06

the butthole for leaving my injured mom on her

9:08

own because she cut me out of her will?

9:10

I don't see the problem, OP. If she's that

9:12

desperate for help, then why doesn't she take some

9:15

of that 250k and pay for a nurse or

9:17

a caretaker or a maid or

9:21

something? This is solidly not your problem,

9:24

OP. OP, I'm giving you 0 out

9:26

of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your mom

9:28

2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am

9:30

I the butthole for taking all the clothes

9:33

in my size off the rack so that

9:35

resellers couldn't grab everything before I looked? Last

9:37

week, I stopped into a thrift store, and

9:39

they were just putting out stuff from their

9:41

truck. I'm never so lucky to be there

9:44

when that happens. The shops are always very

9:46

picked over with just old navy or target

9:48

clothes left over whenever I go, so I

9:50

was happy that I might find something good.

9:53

I started browsing normally, and I was finding

9:55

some good stuff for once. Then I saw

9:57

a group of 3 women come in. One

10:00

had a little computer for scanning books,

10:02

the other two had iPads or something.

10:04

I assumed to check resale prices. Either

10:07

way, they were clearly resellers and started

10:09

grabbing stuff and checking labels. I felt

10:11

a sense of dread because I wouldn't

10:13

be fast enough to check the clothes

10:15

that I wanted. So I just swooped

10:17

everything off the rack that was my

10:19

size into my cart. When the two

10:21

got to me, they started staring. I

10:24

said, what? And one was like, we'd

10:26

like to be able to see what's

10:28

on the rack too. I said

10:30

that they could as soon as I was

10:32

done. She scoffed at me and said, that's

10:34

rude. We'd like a chance to shop these

10:37

clothes too. I just ignored her and started

10:39

looking at things one by one, taking my

10:41

time, then putting them right back on the

10:43

rack. The women were getting mad and snatching

10:46

things basically out of my hand. I held

10:48

up a nice top and one of them

10:50

tried grabbing it out of my hand and

10:53

I said, excuse you and turn my back

10:55

to her. They got all pissy and one

10:57

stomped away to get a worker. The worker

10:59

came over and asked what was going on.

11:02

I said that I was looking at the items

11:04

from the rack, same as anyone else. They said

11:06

that I was hoarding everything so they couldn't get

11:08

a chance to look. The worker said that I

11:11

wasn't doing anything wrong and then said to me,

11:13

thank you for putting everything back when you're done.

11:15

I finished what I was doing with the women

11:17

breathing down my neck and I took my clothes

11:20

to go try on. One of them

11:22

kept following me and asked me what the hell

11:24

my problem was, why was I being such a

11:26

B word, etc. I said, sorry

11:28

that you're having a bad day, but

11:30

it's really not my problem. Am I

11:32

the butthole? I just wanted the chance

11:34

to be able to find nice clothes

11:37

for once. Down in the comments, everyone

11:39

is complaining about how resellers are destroying

11:41

the thrift industry so apparently this is

11:43

a pretty big problem. So based on

11:45

that, sounds like you're in the clear,

11:47

OP. Am I the butthole for

11:49

telling my son that I have no plans to

11:52

motivate or support him after he's an

11:54

adult? My oldest kid is a good

11:56

kid, but kinda lazy. His

11:58

mom has always- protected him. She

12:00

has her reasons. Her first husband and

12:03

child passed away about 20 years ago.

12:05

Two years after that, we met, fell

12:07

in love, got married, and had a

12:09

kid. Unfortunately for me, our son's birth

12:11

was a catalyst for my wife's regression.

12:13

Our son could do no wrong. If

12:16

I tried to punish or even just

12:18

correct him, she would get upset and

12:20

start crying or fight with me. If

12:22

he found something difficult and I wanted

12:24

him to work through it or just

12:26

try harder, she would step in and

12:29

tell me to back off or actually

12:31

just do it for him. This led

12:33

to our divorce, as I wanted to

12:35

be a father and not a spectator.

12:37

She fought so that I wouldn't get

12:40

custody. I ended up with visitation. My

12:42

kid wouldn't do anything, though. He wouldn't

12:44

bring his homework over to my house

12:47

and all he wanted to do was

12:49

play video games. If I didn't let

12:51

him, he had tantrums. It was exhausting.

12:53

And my ex-wife would always back him

12:55

up. It was always my fault. I

12:58

then remarried to my wife, Diane. We

13:00

have two kids and we're doing our

13:02

best to raise them right. My son

13:04

stopped coming over to my place when

13:06

he was 14. I

13:09

still invite him, but he rarely

13:11

responds. I also stopped paying child support.

13:13

His mom had been giving the child

13:15

support to him to do whatever he

13:17

wanted with for the last three years.

13:19

Whatever, not my problem. Recently, my son

13:21

called me to see if I could

13:23

help him with money. I asked what

13:25

for. He said that his mom can't

13:27

give him the allowance that he's used

13:29

to. I asked him if he was

13:31

going to school or college. He said

13:33

no. I told him to

13:35

get a job. His mom has lost

13:37

her mind. She said that she'll take

13:40

me back to court so that her

13:42

poor baby can live his life his way.

13:44

I said that I wish for the odds

13:46

to be ever in her favor and hung

13:48

up. Now that my son is an adult,

13:51

I never have to talk to her again.

13:53

It's too bad because I loved her very

13:55

much, but not anymore. My son asked me

13:57

to help him find a job. I

13:59

said I would and I told him to

14:02

send me his resume. I've been waiting three

14:04

weeks for it. He called me yesterday to

14:06

see if I had made any progress on

14:08

finding him a job. I said that he

14:10

never sent me a resume. He got upset

14:12

that I didn't remind him, but it was

14:14

one thing. I told him that I wasn't

14:16

going to motivate him to do anything, that

14:18

I would be here if he needed help,

14:21

but that I would never give him money

14:23

again. I let him come over and I

14:25

helped him with a resume. I also talked

14:27

to him about the trades or community college.

14:29

He's beginning to understand how messed up

14:31

his future is now that his mom can't

14:33

do everything for him. He's upset with his

14:36

mother now because he doesn't have any life

14:38

skills. She's mad at me for showing him

14:40

the truth. While I can

14:42

kind of sympathize with the mom

14:44

because she clearly went through something

14:46

super traumatic, she basically ruined her

14:48

son's life and for what? Just

14:50

to be indulgent? And her trying

14:52

to sue OP to give their

14:54

son a what? An infinite allowance?

14:57

Allowance every week for the rest of his life,

14:59

even when he's 30, 40, 50 years

15:02

old getting an allowance? That's just nuts,

15:04

man. She is completely detached from reality.

15:06

Anyways, OP, I'm giving you zero out

15:08

of five buttholes. I'm giving the mom

15:11

two out of five buttholes and I

15:13

think I'll give the son zero out

15:15

of five buttholes maybe because it's not

15:17

exactly his fault that he was raised

15:20

incorrectly. Am I the butthole for telling

15:22

my daughter that life isn't

15:24

high school and if it was, she

15:26

would be the loser now? My older

15:28

daughter Kelly is 24 and my younger

15:31

daughter Sarah is 23. They both

15:33

had very different high school experiences.

15:36

Kelly was very social and in

15:38

different sports. Sarah was very academic

15:40

and had a small group of

15:42

friends. Kelly got a sports scholarship

15:44

for college but soon dropped out

15:46

of college after she failed multiple

15:48

classes. She basically just partied, did

15:51

her sport, and nothing else. Sarah

15:53

went on to finish her degree and is

15:55

doing well in life. Kelly has a jealousy

15:57

issue and I've talked with her before. about

16:00

it. She is never happy whenever

16:02

Sarah has an accomplishment. Today, Sarah told us

16:04

that she's going on a cruise for her

16:06

vacation this year. Kelly has always wanted to

16:09

go on a cruise and couldn't afford it

16:11

with her waiter job. In the car, Kelly

16:13

blew up saying that Sarah was a loser

16:16

in high school so it isn't fair that

16:18

she has all this now. She went

16:20

on for a bit and I had

16:22

enough. I told her that life isn't

16:24

like high school and if it was,

16:27

then she would be the loser now.

16:29

This started an argument and she called

16:31

me a B word. Eh, I mean,

16:33

it's not super great to kick your

16:35

kid when she's down, but your kid

16:37

does need a reality check because she's

16:39

being bitter and negative and blaming other

16:41

people for her own problems so I

16:43

think this was some necessary tough love.

16:45

I'm giving you 0 out of 5

16:47

buttholes, I'm giving Kelly 1 out of

16:49

5 buttholes. That was our slash

16:52

am I the butthole and if you like this

16:54

content, be sure to follow my podcast because I

16:56

put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.