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com. Thanks

1:27

for watching! We'll see you next time! Bye!

1:58

I don't want to say it. Okay.

2:00

Poop, poop, pee, pee. Can we say poop, poop, pee,

2:02

pee? Poop, poop, pee, pee. YouTube, you mad at us for saying

2:05

poop, poop. Zins, zins. Come eat poops. Zins,

2:07

zins. Zins are no good. Yeah. You

2:10

shouldn't get them. The

2:12

only thing I'll eat is a zin out of Tucker

2:14

Carlson's, between his butt cheeks. Yeah.

2:23

Let us do that to you, Tucker Carlson.

2:25

I don't want cinnamon flavor. I want Tucker,

2:27

Tucker Carlson doesn't wipe his ass flavor. How

2:29

much money would it cost for this podcast

2:31

to just go full right wing? Oh

2:33

dude, $15. I'll

2:41

say I'll do anything for anyone who has money and is willing to

2:43

give to me right now.

2:46

I agree. I'll suck the money out of a hose if I have

2:48

to. In an alleyway. In an alleyway. Do

2:51

you think that if you like became a right

2:53

wing, like grifter, if you, if

2:55

you came back from it and

2:57

you were like, ha ha, like look at me. I

2:59

got this bag. Like I'm so smart by tricking all

3:01

these people. What do you mean? Come back from it.

3:03

They, you just, it's a one way trip. No, no.

3:06

I mean, do you think people would accept that you

3:08

like changed your mind? You know what you would do.

3:10

And then you would go back to the Democrats and

3:12

you would say like, yeah, I was so stupid for

3:14

being a Republican. Like, give me all your money. You

3:16

become like the, uh, the like, what

3:18

do they call that? Where you, you switch sides and

3:20

you become like, they're like not Messiah, but like, you're

3:23

sort of like the token. The

3:25

token transformed. Trans. Yeah.

3:28

Political. Political. Trans,

3:31

Optimus Prime. I think it

3:33

go, I think you could go left to right

3:35

way easier than you could go right. The left.

3:38

Like in terms of like ideology, Optimus

3:41

priming, Charlie, Kristen, Florida, did

3:43

it. Who's that? No,

3:45

no, not Charlie. These are Florida

3:47

politics. We don't know about these. No, Charlie.

3:49

Charlie. I don't

3:51

know. New Jersey governor like decided that he was

3:54

a Democrat and or something. Oh, he flipped the other way.

3:56

He flipped the other way. It didn't go

3:58

good for him. that

6:00

it's insane that people voluntarily. Well, it must

6:02

feel really good then. I don't

6:04

think it does. It must feel really

6:06

good. Like the people just do things that

6:08

feel good and like destroying

6:10

your body in certain ways feels good. Yeah.

6:13

I'm drinking a Coors right now. That's

6:15

different though. That's Coors light is safe.

6:17

It's basically water. It's

6:20

like, I should just call it La Croix at this point. La

6:22

Croix, wheat, rotten wheat flavor. I'm

6:26

a fan. They didn't even have to pay

6:28

us for, actually, no. I'm going to censor

6:30

Coors like beer. I actually, I do. I,

6:36

what's worse, Zins or Coors? Like

6:38

overall, like whole number impact a

6:40

society Coors for sure. Yeah. A

6:43

percentage base, probably Zins. You think so? Like

6:46

actual. What do you mean percentage base? If you

6:48

had to pick one to do regularly, would you

6:50

do Zins or Coors? I'm not answering this question.

6:53

That means it's Zins. Neither

6:55

of them are giving us enough money to

6:57

send. I'm not, yeah. When I say percentage

6:59

versus whole, I'm saying like, like whole

7:01

numbers versus percentage. Like I think a

7:04

higher percentage of Zins users get

7:06

harm. But even if a lower

7:08

percentage of Coors drinkers are harmed or

7:11

do harm, there's so much more of them.

7:13

That's the whole number. I would do nicotine batches.

7:16

Really? Would you stick them on

7:18

your body, you lunatic? Just like, yeah, I would. You have

7:20

cinnamon flavored, it sort of burns a little bit. Yeah, yeah.

7:22

Like you put it on your bottom of your foot and

7:24

you can taste it, like garlic. Have you heard that? Somebody

7:27

bought a thing of Zins once and

7:30

I like actually threw it in the

7:32

trash. You didn't try it? No,

7:34

they bought it for themselves and they're like, what do I do

7:36

with these? And I was like, here give them to me and

7:38

I threw them in the trash. Yeah, you wouldn't let them go

7:40

home with them. I would not let them go home. You gotta

7:42

flush them, they can dig them out of the trash. You gotta

7:44

flush those. If they want to dig them out of the trash,

7:46

it's absolutely. Wait, which trash can I sit in? Well, it's in

7:48

a landfill now. Wait. For

7:50

whatever like bacteria is like being killed by the Zins

7:52

currently. You think a rat would die if it ate

7:54

an entire Zins bag? A rat would die if it

7:56

ate a Zins. Even a single little Zin. I think

7:58

a rat would die. It's a pesto. I'm

8:00

surprised Tucker Carlson still like

8:04

I think that the fact is

8:06

is you cannot argue against millions

8:09

of people doing it. It must

8:11

feel good like they're not

8:13

going to do it just like if it felt bad,

8:15

nobody would do it. I mean, I felt bad. It's

8:17

bad for your body. No one would do it. Part

8:19

of me feels like I don't think it is as

8:21

addictive. No, I do not think so. I think that's

8:23

to me, that's the big criteria. Like I think nicotine

8:26

is I mean, I do want to look

8:28

at the subcord like how much more addictive is

8:30

nicotine? I think it's one of the most addictive

8:32

chemicals. It should be probably like a tier one

8:34

drug based on the tiers, the scheduling that they

8:36

have like a schedule one. Oh, OK. Like it

8:38

has to do with abuse and

8:40

like like potential for abuse and harm

8:42

to you and addiction. I think like

8:45

nicotine fits. I think tier one, tier two.

8:49

Is there anything useful on this page or is there some?

8:51

Yeah, it just looks like an anti tobacco propaganda. Is

8:53

there no medical use for nicotine? Makes me want to

8:55

do things. Yeah. I

9:00

really have. I should hear a list. Oh,

9:03

no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't get this for

9:05

free. We all get to do drugs and then

9:07

we have to rank them based on how addictive

9:09

they are. I personally think I think

9:11

that like vapes and everything legally should be required

9:13

to be like little dick shapes. Oh,

9:15

so you have to suck on a little bit to like you just

9:17

suck on the tip of a dick to vape. I

9:20

don't know. It might make us

9:22

it might make some people like really like

9:24

more into it. Then they're fine. That's fine.

9:26

But I think I think statistically will more

9:28

less people will want to do that than

9:30

the people that want to do. What if

9:32

what if like vapes are totally legal? It's

9:35

fine, but they all have to be poo

9:37

flavored vapes. Like that's the only flavor of

9:39

that you're allowed to do is who would

9:41

pee? Yeah, you actually have to taste really

9:43

bad. Yeah. Like that's like no candy, no

9:45

bubblegum only shit flavored. But you can you

9:47

can you know, anyone can do it if

9:49

you want to do it. If they sell

9:51

more vapes and zins because of the

9:53

candy flavors, they will absolutely sell less

9:55

of them because of the shit flavor.

9:57

Yeah, a hundred percent. It makes you

9:59

real. that the marketing is basically towards

10:01

like children or underdeveloped adults. Like seriously,

10:04

what grown ass adult is buying fruit

10:06

flavored vape because they like the nicotine?

10:08

If Prime tasted like water, nobody would

10:10

drink it. Exactly, but instead they make

10:12

it taste like shit. Fuck, it's not

10:14

gonna work. I like that

10:16

argument. That really demolishes any kind of argument you

10:18

could have if they were like, no, no, no,

10:21

no, the flavor doesn't matter. Well,

10:23

then make it shit flavored. Make it shit flavored. Make it shit

10:25

flavored, pussies. Make it, it's like Tofungus. Make

10:27

it like Dwayne The Rock Johnson's fucking

10:30

in between his big toe and his little toe after

10:32

running 300 miles. It's

10:34

like the Harry Potter every flavor beans,

10:36

but all the bad flavors, earwax. Tuckerson's

10:38

sweaty butt cheek flavor. Some people

10:40

would buy that up though. Tucker Carlson would

10:42

buy it, I know that for sure. Do

10:45

you think he's listening to this? I hope so. I

10:47

hope he's a valued listener,

10:50

a patron of safety third. Does anybody not

10:52

hate Tucker Carlson? Like he just feels like

10:54

that guy that's like, he's like that kid.

10:56

A shit ton of people don't hate him.

10:58

Really? You have to know that

11:00

he's just like a grifter. Like he's literally just

11:03

like an entertainer. He doesn't even believe anything he

11:05

says. He's

11:07

like one of the most insane things I've ever

11:09

seen. Like it's actually like that uncle you have.

11:11

It's like that uncle, it's like he's that guy.

11:14

He just, it's like, it's so like un, everything

11:17

just comes out. It just like feels like a lie. I

11:20

think that's a huge issue though,

11:22

that like you can't imagine someone

11:24

who is a legitimate fan of

11:27

Tucker Carlson, but he

11:29

has like millions of fans, like

11:31

huge numbers of people actually really

11:33

legitimately, unironically like him. Did you

11:36

see the clip of him, like

11:38

talk about how Zins makes you better at sex? No,

11:40

it's worse than that. Wait, can we play that? He

11:42

like, he's on what part, it was like the send

11:44

it podcast. Yeah, it's like the third podcast. And

11:47

the guy asked him, like does it make you better in

11:49

bed? And Tucker just looks at him and just like says

11:51

yes. Yeah, he's like, it's

11:53

a work enhancer. It'll make you better in

11:55

bed or something. I think the other guy,

11:57

it was like, he didn't make the claim, but.

12:00

He like totally affirmed it. It

12:02

was it's it's actually like almost

12:04

like an SNL sketch. Like it's

12:06

so unhinged. What

12:09

is that? He's on Seltzer. Also, I love

12:11

dipping. Certain point turn 50, turn 50. I

12:14

was like, can't dip. The dentist is

12:16

against it. Girls don't like it. Even

12:20

if they do sometimes, you know, I've never met. I

12:22

actually I was on a fishing trip. What the? Trying

12:24

to read this out loud is like. Wait, is this

12:26

I don't think I don't think this is the episode.

12:28

Is it? I think they were like in a living

12:30

room or something. Yeah, I thought they were too. Well,

12:33

maybe was it through it? I

12:35

can't remember. I do. I bet.

12:37

Do you just trying to do a

12:39

straight reading of any of these transcripts is probably insane. Is

12:41

it is it recording the audio from this? Why is he

12:43

packing it like a can of dip? How did we ever

12:46

say this guy doesn't even do this? He just sells it

12:48

for money. Do you think you ever stick some of his

12:50

nose? Do you only

12:52

throw chance? Yes, Swedish people do. Oh,

12:55

oh my God. Actually, that must feel

12:57

amazing because it's gross. Sweden, it's so

12:59

yeah, Snus is so popular in Sweden.

13:02

Yeah, like I kind of gave

13:04

me a flashback when you said that because my uncle

13:06

like my whole family's from Sweden. Like my my uncle

13:08

would would do that. My dad had him for a

13:10

while. It was I think it was just Snus. Is

13:12

there another brand? I

13:14

think that's the style. I've never even heard of it.

13:16

It's like a little like a super fine. Oh, it's

13:19

a pouch. Yeah. And so I think they like instead

13:21

of it being like fibrous, it's like a little like

13:23

pillow of tobacco that you put in your mouth. And

13:25

it was like apparently better than just regular chewing tobacco.

13:27

Better. For you. Like it's like

13:29

inhaling gasoline versus drinking it. And

13:32

they can stick it up their nose. And

13:34

honestly, I think everyone's stuck everything everywhere.

13:36

Stick it up your fucking ass. You're

13:38

your cinnamon zins in my urethra. Traditionally,

13:40

see this Swedish Snus, they would like

13:43

literally put it in their nose. I

13:46

yeah, it was like a powder tobacco that

13:48

must throw those. Great. That must be I've

13:50

seen videos of like old guys doing it.

13:52

They have like a little hammer that they

13:54

hammered up their nose with. Oh, what? It's

13:57

like a tobacco lobotomy. A little Snus hair.

14:00

This that's actually insane. What did the hammer look like? I

14:02

think it was like a little wood hammer like you would

14:04

get with those like many Paleontologist

14:06

kits to like like the joke kids. Yeah the

14:08

fake dinosaur egg. I've come all the way around

14:10

on this I would totally try this for a

14:13

safety third extra. I would do snooze on camera

14:18

Pound snooze Can

14:22

we do can we do trying drugs from other

14:24

countries as a extra and I will definitely hammer

14:27

some snooze up my nose I

14:29

cannot imagine that's they're like advertising Putting

14:33

it in your like cheek. Yeah, no look up like

14:35

Swedish or something or like so good I might be

14:37

thinking of a different what I think I'm gonna do

14:39

is go to the type of nose put nose on

14:41

the I'm gonna go to my doctor or tattoo artist

14:43

and have cut a slit on my skin and so

14:45

I can shove them under my skin Your doctor or

14:47

your tattoo artist? Well, I'm just thinking with the doctor.

14:49

Why say no So I have to go to somebody

14:51

who's less doesn't give as much of a shit about

14:53

body modification Yeah

14:58

Where's the hammer dude it looks like where's

15:00

the little hammer? Yeah, Kevin. Where's the hammer?

15:05

Little snooze hammer, I'm not doing this without a

15:07

little hammer a little paleontologist These

15:09

pictures make drugs look so not cool, but

15:11

that's why it must feel amazing They just

15:14

all look like they have a little Hitler

15:16

must oh my god It

15:19

looks like Talking

15:21

about Hitler mustaches cuz I think it's fine

15:23

as long as we pivot to Okay,

15:29

that's Fox boy It looks like you had a bloody nose

15:31

and you left it in for two weeks and it like

15:33

dried and black Wait, is that the snooze hammer that way

15:35

it looks way too big. No, there's no

15:37

way that's the snooze hammer What is that

15:39

book on the left snuff 102? That is

15:41

not about tobacco That is not about nicotine

15:44

wait click on that. No, don't click on

15:46

that. Don't click on that. I changed my

15:48

mind I think snuff snuff films if

15:51

anyone's curious about snuff films Google. I've been snuff

15:53

No, no, I know no

15:56

people are over this already they don't wait is

15:58

that machine a snuff insertion contraption We're on Google

16:00

images right now for all the audio listeners and you're

16:02

really missing out. Oh, yeah, you definitely are. What is

16:04

this? Oh You're

16:07

this one you're getting more than people who watch

16:09

the video but not as much as the people

16:11

pay Like Daredevil his

16:14

senses are enhanced by not being able to

16:16

see you're getting a lot more out of

16:18

it Daredevil senses in his his what's the

16:20

poop sense? Oh The

16:22

anal sampling, you know, whatever you think his

16:25

anal sampling reflexes more sense Like

16:27

like it has to be all his senses

16:30

became better. Yeah, including so he doesn't chart

16:32

himself never I think I

16:34

think I think Like the

16:36

the if the theory that we were

16:38

talking about of the the anal sampling

16:40

reflex being like a pressure thing Yes,

16:43

I think that Daredevil probably has

16:45

like a higher resolution So if

16:47

there's chunks he may be

16:49

able to feel those out and he'll know that

16:51

I think he can probably just like echo Locate

16:53

them inside of his own body. Yeah, like an

16:56

ultrasound. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah,

17:00

cuz then you'd for sure be able to feel chunks

17:03

yeah, do you think you could build a anal

17:06

sampling Mechanism robot like do

17:08

you think you could build a robot that

17:10

can detect if it has solid or liquid

17:13

without really having any moving parts? I you

17:15

know what if you did the the Daredevil

17:17

thing you could maybe build like a sonogram

17:19

machine that is on a belt So you

17:21

always know. Yeah, like I think like Oh

17:24

physical so no, no I mean like so that

17:26

you'd never shart yourself like build a belt with

17:29

a sonogram built onto it so that you can

17:31

always tell if There's chunks in your shirt. That's

17:33

a great You're gonna shit

17:35

your pants. You look down if your belts like

17:37

green. Yeah It's

17:39

red. You don't let it out cuz it's

17:42

gonna be that comes out. That's an awesome

17:44

idea Yeah, you could probably do that with

17:46

ultrasound, right? Yeah. Yeah, cuz that's that's just

17:48

Daredevil Holy shit, he

17:50

could literally put his face up to people's stomachs scream

17:52

and tell if them if they have a diarrhea He

17:55

probably doesn't even have to scream. We actually oh,

17:57

oh dude do not Don't

18:00

let that one out. Don't let that one out. You're

18:02

good, Kevin. No, I don't think I am. Trust

18:05

me, bro. I got sonars or whatever.

18:09

How much how much is that? I told you. That's

18:12

a risky one. Did you shit your pants? They farted.

18:14

Don't worry. I wouldn't admit it if

18:16

I did. I wouldn't tell you. It was just

18:18

a little blood squirt. Don't worry. Is there a

18:20

hobby of sonogram machine? Is there like a sonogram

18:22

machine? You're overthinking this. All you need is a

18:24

momentary switch. Can we go back to Zinn? What

18:26

do you mean a momentary? What are you going

18:29

to measure with a momentary switch? I'm being pressed.

18:31

Don't. Don't. Who's

18:33

pressing the switch? A little elf in your colon? The

18:35

poop. I wish. I

18:37

wish I had a little elf in my colon, Alan. That

18:41

sounds like a Patreon video. Putting

18:45

elves in our colons. Elves on a shelf.

18:47

Extremely loud flash mails. The thumbnail is Legolas

18:49

from Lower the Rings. Brought to

18:51

you from the makers of Elf on a Shelf.

18:53

I can't wait for us to have sponsors. We're

18:55

going to have sponsors soon, right? This video is

18:57

sponsored by Zinn's. No

19:01

this video is sponsored by alcohol. If

19:03

you use Zinn's fucking stop. If

19:06

you smoke vape, fucking stop. Kord, do you

19:08

vape? I used to.

19:10

Then you stop. It probably feels great. To have

19:12

a little. Doesn't it feel good? It

19:15

was so good. Like you can't even

19:17

stop. Like if you drink Kord's light,

19:20

continue. King

19:22

or queen. Yes sir. Everything. I'm

19:24

just saying, if it doesn't make any sense, that means it

19:26

probably feels good. It feels way better than you imagine it

19:29

feels. I feel like you feel bad if you don't have

19:31

it. That's the problem. Oh the opposite. You like set your

19:33

bar for feeling good higher. I like

19:35

to set it lower. Does that reset Kord? How long

19:39

did it take to not feel bad? Two

19:41

months. Two months to stop feeling bad. Even

19:44

with patches. You still felt bad with. See

19:46

like you plateau. So you start vaping, you plateau.

19:48

You don't get any benefit from it. So

19:51

go. It starts. So

19:53

you started doing. You started vaping. Gave

19:55

you head rush. It kind of goes away. It's

19:57

just normal. And then you get the opposite of

19:59

the head rush. when you stop. I

20:02

bet I could quit smoking. Don't

20:06

you fucking dare. I'm going to do it. He could

20:08

get thin if he was fat. There's

20:11

a video for you, Kevin. Just get start

20:14

smoking, get addicted and then quit just

20:16

to prove that you can all your own week. Wasn't

20:18

there was it? I saw him like read it a

20:20

while. Wasn't there like some millionaire who like you want

20:22

to prove that like he could do it whenever and

20:24

so he like he like gave up all his money.

20:26

He went homeless and then over the course of a

20:28

year, he made like 60 grand at a normal job

20:30

and he quit and just

20:32

took all his millions of dollars back quit and

20:34

decided to be rich again. He was like, he

20:37

was like, I will make a million dollars in

20:39

the next year starting from homeless because I can

20:41

guarantee it was because of my own efforts and

20:43

then he got a normal job and then made

20:45

a normal amount of money. And then he quit.

20:47

What's most embarrassing about rich and you couldn't even

20:50

capitalize on those to become rich again. So

20:54

yeah, Kevin, you should you should start smoking about

20:57

two years ago. I went like completely

20:59

dry like totally abstinent from alcohol. They

21:01

say shower for all shower. They never

21:03

went to my pool. Sandpaper

21:06

only. Oh

21:08

God, it's exfoliating. Oh, I never tried that.

21:10

No, but I was like super sick. I

21:12

had freaking Ebola or something dude. It was

21:15

bad. So I'm like, I'm

21:17

not I'm like, yeah, just in bed for a week

21:19

like and I'm like, you know what? I'm just like

21:21

not going to drink for for a month. I'm already

21:24

a week in and I'm just going to see like

21:26

if I feel any better because like, you know, I

21:28

was like sometimes I'd wake up and I'm like, oh,

21:30

that's because I had like beer before I went to

21:32

bed or something or alcohol and so I just didn't

21:34

drink at all. And then by the end of the

21:36

month, I felt exactly the same. Nothing

21:39

got better. I was just sleeping like shit. I was

21:41

still stressed. Yeah, except you that you couldn't you were getting

21:43

drunk. My stomach ache would still hurt. I

21:45

need my medicine. I

21:48

personally it's tobacco

21:50

or nicotine makes you feel bad. If you

21:52

don't have it. I

21:54

think alcohol can do that. But

21:56

yeah, casual use of alcohol I think does not

21:58

put you in the same situation that casual use

22:01

of nicotine will put you in. I don't think

22:03

there is like one other is people smoke cigars

22:05

and stuff or not. Yeah, exactly. I mean, every

22:07

once in a while, like my dad always they

22:10

would, you know, they smoke cigars every couple months.

22:12

Yeah. Like we did the same thing. When I

22:14

say cigars, I also mean the swisher sweets that

22:16

people use to they don't even know the tobacco

22:19

replace it with other stuff. Oh, you know, it's

22:22

like shitty little thing. And it's like, you don't

22:24

inhale it. And it's like once every like three

22:26

months, I had a pack sitting in the house

22:28

for like over a year. Probably. We got little

22:30

little cigars from New Zealand when we were in

22:33

New Zealand. Me and Kevin and they they had

22:35

like the craziest warning labels on them. But

22:38

then I mean, I think a lot of the times when we

22:40

yeah, yeah, I think a lot of the times when we go

22:42

like on on 60, 30, we end up

22:44

getting cigars. And yeah, I

22:46

don't feel an air quote because anybody who actually smokes

22:48

cigars will get really mad. Honestly, it's probably half the

22:50

whole because they're like the little ones that are like,

22:53

I mean, what's a real cigar? Like a big meaty

22:55

thing. Something that you have, like your throat hurts,

22:57

your jaw hurts, unhinging to put in your mouth. Big

22:59

brown dick. Exactly. That's what we got in New Zealand.

23:01

They look like a little like a like

23:04

a mini cigarette, like a cigarette. But it was

23:06

a cigar. And it was $45 for 10 of

23:08

them. Yeah, that's

23:11

crazy. That's how much that's how much it costs over

23:13

there. A lot of taxes. Yeah. And each of them

23:15

had a picture. And they're like, what flavor do you

23:17

want? It was like a picture of

23:20

like gum disease and like a kid in a hospital

23:22

ward. Yeah, I want the hospital kid flavor. Literally had

23:24

to like say it like that because we didn't know

23:26

what it was. We didn't know anything. We're like, we

23:28

have the cancer kid flavor. Oh

23:32

my God. I think those were the smaller ones too. So

23:34

it was almost like, oh, these are, yeah, these are like

23:36

the littler ones. So it's like, got the picture of the

23:39

kid in the, because it was like, oh, secondhand smoke will

23:41

give your kids cancer. And so I think that's what the

23:43

picture was. Cigarettes are like anyone

23:45

who like regularly smokes and it's like in their car,

23:47

in their house. It's like one of the most vile

23:50

smells ever. Like, like an old, it

23:52

just makes me feel like it's like death. You

23:54

walk into like a casino, like an old shitty

23:56

casino and it just smells like death. Yeah. Maybe

23:58

it's just like. connection to old people because I

24:00

knew smoke you go into like their house after

24:02

they're dead and it smells like yeah, it's like

24:04

Oh who's to live here? It's like a cigarette

24:06

smoker. Yeah used to live here Not now cuz

24:08

they're dead and it's just like that It's such

24:10

a core memory that you you like everywhere you

24:12

go that you smell it like that's all you

24:14

think that's all I think about It's just like

24:16

grandpa dying. He was in use an asshole and

24:18

he smoked and he's dead dead And that's

24:20

what you think about when you walk in action. I'm like

24:23

grandpa stop smoking He's like don't tell me what you to

24:25

do you little shit And then

24:27

and then he fucking died just think about

24:29

it think about it I

24:31

I think that you know, we're all gonna die

24:34

eventually and you definitely should have your vice Don't

24:36

be don't I think people who are like, you

24:38

know, I don't know You're like

24:40

abstinent against everything is kind of silly. Yeah,

24:42

whatever don't like sure do whatever do whatever

24:44

you want Really is the reality but don't

24:46

do like super stupid shit. I Gotta

24:49

say Love

24:51

we do I think people would consider to be the

24:53

super stupid shit Like I think it's you all have

24:56

our fingers look at your fingers. Everyone's got our fingers

24:58

for now I got to be clear though. My grandpa

25:00

did have stage four lung cancer when he said that

25:04

What that point Start

25:08

smoking if I had stage four lung cancer

25:11

eating cigarettes, I know but

25:14

like you think about when you turn like

25:16

80 and What

25:18

your life expectancy is like what 85 night what's

25:20

our life expectancy like I think it's way in

25:23

America in the US No, no, we're like 70

25:25

70 We're

25:30

halfway dead did you not know that we

25:33

don't know that long I didn't know that

25:35

I told you middle-aged Yeah, people people have

25:37

kind of lived for about as long for

25:39

like ever I mean people people make that

25:41

joke about like oh like, you know at

25:43

the back in the day You made the

25:45

30 you're an old man, but that was

25:47

just counting like infant mortality throughout human history

25:49

We've basically lived to like 70 so that's

25:51

pretty much it. Oh Man,

25:54

dude, I gotta change my plan 100

25:58

what retirement age this

26:01

again looks like this is an average

26:03

average What's below

26:05

average? What does that put me? Where's

26:08

the Belk there's a really good chance will probably 67

26:12

you have less than 10 years to live after you retire

26:15

10 less than 10 years of

26:17

10 years of your life Yeah, best 10 years. Yeah,

26:19

you're too old to do anything. So you're like you're

26:21

you're 70 years old, right? You're like

26:23

basically six years away from by biting my average

26:25

biting the bucket where they say. Yeah Um, yeah,

26:28

fucking the bucket. I'm thinking the but yeah

26:30

kicking the dog. Yeah, I'm yeah fucking the

26:33

puppy Why can't you do drugs then? Oh

26:36

like legally? Well, you're already like dad cuz

26:38

you're gonna get in a car And you're

26:40

gonna kill 12 people. Okay, I didn't say

26:42

you have to drive. You're gonna do that

26:44

Anyway, you're gonna literally have dementia and getting

26:46

a car and kill people I'd rather get

26:48

killed by somebody on drugs and someone has

26:50

dementia They had to take away my cool

26:52

grandpa's driver's license somebody driving man Somebody driving

26:54

on dementia is like a bigger systematic failure

26:56

than somebody driving on drugs Cuz

26:58

like the person who has dementia has had

27:00

dementia the person who's on drugs just fucking

27:02

sometimes not on drugs Yeah, so

27:04

you think 70 you should be allowed just

27:07

anything every no, I don't think you should

27:09

I'm just saying I'm turning your driver's license.

27:11

Oh And they give it

27:13

back to you once you come back sober. Yeah, exactly I'd

27:16

like to rent some heroin like like cash like a

27:18

cash for guns program one for keys. Yeah I'm

27:22

just saying that like like as a thought

27:24

experiment you don't want to You

27:27

don't want people to do drugs, you know, you don't

27:29

want them drinking You don't want them smoking because

27:31

it will shorten their life expectancy Yeah, but when you're

27:33

70 years old, you could eat

27:36

asbestos for breakfast It

27:38

will not do anything So why when you're beyond the

27:41

age of drugs killing you because you'll be dead before

27:43

the drugs kill you Why can't you do drugs like

27:45

really what's so dangerous about drugs other than reducing your

27:47

lifespan? It doesn't exist I mean it I think then

27:49

you'd have a bunch of old drug dealers. You'd have

27:52

a bunch of old people getting drugs from the government

27:54

They do that with Viagra. Yeah, they exactly and

27:56

it's a problem No

28:00

drugs that make you feel good, but you can have a drug that makes

28:02

your dick hard. Yeah That's okay

28:04

And then you gotta do the feel-good part yourself, but all

28:06

your friends are dead You don't

28:08

get addicted to Viagra to the point where

28:10

like you're addicted was that a pun addicted

28:12

I don't think you get a cock did

28:14

to Viagra the same way that you get

28:16

a penis did to heroin I

28:18

I'm just saying if you're like, let's say you're

28:21

six months away from dying Yeah, is there anything

28:23

wrong with sitting in a bed high on heroin

28:25

all day? I don't think so, but I think

28:27

the problem will just discovered hospice

28:30

Yeah, I guess what they charge you a

28:32

shit ton of money for it. I Maybe

28:34

I don't know. I think there's a lot

28:36

of free ones. Oh free ones. Oh shit. Well, maybe they

28:38

think it better Maybe they get fentanyl at the ones you

28:41

have to pay for it. Good stuff What

28:44

about like other other stuff that like, you know

28:46

isn't like what would you call

28:48

heroin? like it turns into just like a puddle

28:50

of jello, what about like McDonald's like like what's

28:56

The Distortion vision

28:58

ones we call that psychedelics. Yeah. Yeah.

29:00

Oh, yeah Like

29:03

why can't you do that when you're 50? How about like every year

29:05

like the US Yeah, you

29:08

unlock a schedule like the older you get

29:10

you go higher into the drug schedule tier

29:12

Uh-huh think the logistics alone would be a

29:14

nightmare like like trying to although Canada has

29:17

all of their all of their alcohol is

29:20

like government CVS

29:22

hasn't figured out with regular drugs. Yeah,

29:24

I mean I figured out

29:26

with kids toys and mailing lists. Just make it a prescription

29:30

We co can do it. They have the logistics Every

29:33

month you get a new system is there Alan imagine

29:35

get it You're doing an ad we do an ad

29:37

read for like how it CVS is mushrooms make you

29:39

trip way harder than Ralph's

29:41

is the Ralph's a CVS. What's another

29:43

pharmacy Walgreens? I mean, okay The

29:48

real heroin doesn't contain any hyper like

29:50

toast corn Real shit the

29:52

real real real shit like the shit

29:54

that like they don't like want to

29:56

talk like most people who try drugs

29:59

Don't get it I

34:00

wrote down two more drugs. Yeah, he he

34:02

was he was like really well known for

34:04

like like anti drug. No,

34:06

no. Playing around with like psychedelics and drugs. And like

34:08

one of the last things he did was he just

34:11

wrote like on a piece of

34:13

paper, like an insane amount of acid to do.

34:15

And they gave it to him and that he

34:17

died. So he like he had

34:19

like like he went out on like the biggest

34:21

fucking possible trip a human being could do. Didn't

34:24

exist. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually how you get out

34:26

of the matrix. Dude,

34:28

it's like an insane dose of acid right

34:30

before you die. It's like you're ripping sheets

34:32

of it out of a notebook or you

34:34

know, like. That's actually interesting because like you

34:36

wouldn't even. You

34:39

wouldn't even die. You would just like

34:41

the acid doesn't kill you. But dying

34:43

kills you. Yeah, but you would like

34:45

you would have no perception probably right.

34:48

I don't I don't know what the fuck that

34:50

he might have been like looking down on himself,

34:52

watching himself die is worse. He

34:55

might have been like in the

34:58

watching the neurons shut down one by one. I'm

35:00

not looking forward to that because I think I

35:02

think what happens when you die is

35:05

like all of your neurons do

35:07

the equivalent of shitting themselves like

35:09

because like electrical, you're almost yeah,

35:11

because like electrical activity is

35:13

your neurons actually holding back electrical

35:16

potential in the form of ions like sodium

35:18

ions or potassium ions. So it's like they

35:20

have a way of holding that back and

35:22

that creates voltage wash. When they release it,

35:25

the synapse fires and like information is conveyed.

35:27

When you die, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty

35:29

sure the last thing that happens when you

35:31

have brain death is all of your fucking

35:34

synapses, just shit themselves by all five are

35:36

at once. And I don't really know that

35:38

creates voltage and when they release it the

35:40

synapse fires and like information's conveyed. When you

35:43

die, I'm pretty sure yeah, I'm pretty sure

35:45

the last Log Y. Happens when you have

35:47

brain death is all of your fucking synapses

35:49

just shit themselves. They all fire at once.

35:52

And I don't really look forward to that

35:54

happens to everyone when you die. Unless your

35:56

head explodes from a that sounds pretty good.

36:00

I feel like it might be bad. I feel like it

36:02

might be bad. I mean, what is a seizure? I

36:04

think I might yeah, I think it's like kind of in there. Have

36:06

you seen videos of uh, Um,

36:08

like what is it like

36:11

octopus and and iguanas? No, not iguanas

36:13

chameleons like dying. Oh, yeah Yeah,

36:16

their colors like freaking out. Yeah, that's probably

36:18

your brain time. Just like chagone sickle mode

36:20

up there Yeah, I guess it might not

36:22

be anything you might because if you have

36:24

a seizure you you don't remember that Have

36:26

you have you like passed out before? Uh

36:30

I don't think so one time I was sick and

36:32

I was so dehydrated I passed out and I don't

36:34

I just kind of remember falling over and then I

36:36

woke up. I've never passed. There was nothing I've never

36:38

passed out from I think the only time that's like

36:40

your brain turning off It's always been on purpose like

36:42

like being at the dentist or whatever and take your

36:44

wisdom teeth It's probably like that countdown from I remember

36:46

thinking I was like, all right, i'm gonna beat this

36:49

I'm gonna beat the count. I'm gonna get all the way down to zero.

36:51

All right. All right doc. Give it to me. All right 99

36:53

98 you're like, I don't know how

36:55

I Could

36:57

beat it and then you wake up like oh, that's what

37:00

dying's like that wasn't so bad. You wake up and you

37:02

wake up and you're like Oh,

37:04

I feel fucking bad Welcome

37:07

to hell I

37:11

don't think i've ever passed out. I don't think

37:13

so. I don't think I have I think i've

37:16

basically been conscious my entire life And unless I

37:18

chose not to be wow Like

37:20

actually like i've never really even been blackout drunk like

37:23

I can't drink them. Oh, no, i've been blackout drunk

37:25

Fuck I don't know how I forgot that well Yeah,

37:29

no, I've i've been blackout drunk a lot

37:31

actually that's that's the only other time it's

37:33

never been like Well, i've never

37:35

gotten like gotten like like hit in the head

37:38

or dehydrated. It was just like always self-inflicted.

37:41

Yeah. No, okay. Yeah, that's

37:44

I think my my my favorite part about drugs

37:47

overall is how much all the adults when your

37:49

kid hate them and tell you how Bad they

37:51

are like I think if there's anything that like

37:53

vividly sticks out It just feels like a bunch

37:56

of people trying their best to get you to

37:58

do the exact opposite of what No,

44:01

I can I catch what you're doing down. Okay. Thank

44:03

you. People were probably into some freaky stuff back then

44:05

too, but it was probably just Kings, you

44:07

know, like the rich people. I saw this. I

44:11

saw this museum post. It was like a Reddit

44:14

post of this picture in a museum of like this,

44:16

like sex chair. This King had. Yeah. Yeah. So that

44:18

he could, he could like bang two people at once,

44:20

right? Because he was apparently really fat or something. And

44:22

so they had to make a special chair. I know

44:24

I've heard some stories like this before. I just can't

44:26

think of any. And I was like, I was thinking

44:29

about that. And, um,

44:31

I'm like, that's, that's insane. Royal sex chair

44:33

from 1890. I cannot for the life

44:35

of me figure out how that works. And I, uh,

44:37

I mean, it looks for the audio listeners. It kind

44:39

of looks like, um, it looks like a coffee table

44:42

with a shelf, but it's upside down. There's like stirrups

44:44

on it though. Almost like a, like a, like a

44:46

gynecologist chair. I don't like that. Like for the guy,

44:48

you see where he stands. There's like something that's going

44:50

to hold his feet. So he won't slip, slip out.

44:53

That looks like something I get this. A couple of

44:55

wheels on it. You would have

44:59

seen that on like a Nickelodeon commercial when you were a

45:01

kid. This, this man was an

45:03

engineer. Is

45:05

immaculate craftsmanship, honestly. Yeah. And like it

45:07

only happens because it's, it's a King

45:09

who like, what else is he going

45:11

to do on the weekends? He's

45:14

got nothing else going on. Literally. He

45:16

doesn't have any real problems. No actual responsibility. And

45:18

so he just, he gets a sex chair and

45:20

he's fat. I think that's where

45:22

it all comes from. The peasants were, they were thinking

45:25

about not starving to death. And

45:27

then somebody had to make it for

45:29

him. I think the peasants were happy

45:31

with just regular sex, regular, just normal,

45:33

whatever, because they had a lot of

45:35

stuff going on. Yeah. That's how

45:38

Patriot, Patriot ship used to work. They

45:40

didn't have the luxury of having weird,

45:42

freaky fetish. I don't know who we

45:44

offended. I guarantee we've offended a large

45:46

swath of people. Honestly, it's always the

45:48

opposite. I think we might've offended the

45:50

perverts on this episode. So if

45:53

you're a pervert and we offended you, leave a comment

45:55

down below. Yeah. And jerk off in this whole, this

45:57

whole pot. I love now that anybody that commented is

45:59

going to. think that they're acknowledging that they're a

46:01

pervert. How many people do you think have ever

46:03

edged to our podcast just for hours on end,

46:05

just listening to it and just waiting? There's a

46:07

couple of people that always leave kind of little

46:09

freaky comments. So yeah, I think there's definitely more

46:11

than one. I don't know if we should encourage

46:13

them or encourage them. No, I think you should.

46:15

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46:17

still be ashamed. Start your summer road trip at

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midas.com. I

46:51

like that. That feels very

46:53

American to me. You should still be embarrassed, but do

46:55

it anyways. Yeah. Fucking weirdos. Yeah,

46:57

I like that. That's almost

46:59

positive. I like that. If you do that shit and

47:01

don't support us on Patreon, I'll know that you can

47:03

kiss my ass. Seriously,

47:06

though, could you imagine somebody watches this podcast and gets

47:08

a sexual satisfaction out of it and does not support

47:10

us on Patreon? That's fucked up. That's actually fucked up.

47:12

That's actually fucked up. That's super fucked up. Yeah, if

47:14

you've ever gotten a boner while listening to the podcast,

47:16

even just incidentally, then I think you owe us some

47:18

money. What if they like being shamed, too? What if

47:21

we just- Then we're doing it. We're

47:23

doing it. Now you really have to support us on Patreon.

47:25

Yeah, what if they like being financially dominated? Oh, that's great.

47:27

Can we get some Fin Dom's in the page? Can we

47:29

get a level- Yeah, if there's any Fin Dom's. Yeah,

47:32

what Alan said. Fin

47:34

Dom's? Yeah, financial domination. How do you know

47:36

all this? Oh, you just look stuff

47:38

up. It just kind

47:40

of runs stuff. You guys just Google AI,

47:43

suggest some things. I searched for the closest

47:45

coffee shop and it told me about domination.

47:48

I searched for CPA and it took me to like some

47:50

brothel. I hate

47:52

it when that happens. Could they do

47:54

your taxes, though? Yeah, they

47:57

could, but only taxes. Are

48:00

you sure you were reading the name of the

48:02

establishment? Wait, maybe that was his last name Brothon

48:08

mr. James brothel I I

48:14

I'm trying to like remember back like they always

48:16

had the the meme on shows of like the

48:18

cops showing up to school and like Showing you

48:20

all these drugs right did that what was your

48:23

like like elementary school with dare dare? Yeah Yeah,

48:25

I still remember the dare song. We were on

48:27

the eye. You're a little older What two years

48:29

old in this like barely one year older

48:31

barely? Yeah, it's like one We

48:35

were like on the tail tail end of

48:37

dare so I think that like must have

48:39

been early elementary school they kind of stopped

48:42

Doing it did they stop doing dare

48:44

is there not a thing there's not really a

48:46

thing anymore. That's good I feel like I was

48:49

not a long time There didn't do anything. I

48:51

know I think 100% made it worse Yeah,

48:53

cuz you just it's like, you know

48:55

marketing any any good publicity is or

48:58

any publicity And you're just telling kids

49:00

about all these drugs. Yeah, I think it

49:02

looks like they went crazy Still

49:04

around I see the nine like independent

49:06

groups with with like dare shirts I

49:09

dare standing outside of crack is that like a real dare shirt

49:11

though? Are they wearing it like to cuz it's kind of ironic

49:13

now. I dare you to do hair now What

49:16

was it called? What's it called drugs are really

49:18

expensive No, it's

49:21

D. I want drugs a won't have

49:23

an attitude Or I

49:25

will respect myself e Educate

49:28

me now that's been in my head for like

49:31

25 years and I can't fucking understand why you're

49:33

the only thing that could call Me enough to

49:35

sit through that thing drugs

49:39

What does it stand for drug? Remember, I

49:41

can't remember the fucking equation for like

49:43

resident frequency in a secondary or primary

49:45

call for a Tesla coil But I

49:47

can remember the dare theme song drug

49:49

abuse resistance education National

49:52

Institute of so you can still do drugs. You just

49:54

can't abuse them. Yeah. Yeah,

49:57

that's easy Yeah, I

49:59

think most Like the truth is most

50:01

people could probably do drugs without abusing

50:03

them like once. Yeah. Like

50:06

that's actual truth. It's also like the

50:08

kind of like

50:11

the statistics on, like even with tobacco use,

50:13

like it's really, really, really bad sort

50:16

of for you in a public sense.

50:19

Like the majority of people who smoke

50:21

cigarettes will not get cancer. Mm. But

50:24

it's only cause it's a majority. It

50:26

doesn't mean that it's- Statistically. Yeah, it doesn't mean that it's

50:28

good for you individuals. But if

50:30

you smoke cigarettes, you as

50:32

an individual person will probably not get cancer

50:35

from it. But it still literally means that

50:37

like one in four people get cancer from

50:39

it, which means you have like a- Yeah,

50:41

from a societal scale, it's fucking terrible. It's

50:43

one of the worst things that's ever happened

50:45

on an individual scale, you're probably gonna be

50:47

okay. It's also like a horrible way to

50:49

die. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, no, but that's like

50:52

to say that like- And your whole family tells

50:54

you you shouldn't have done it. Yeah, and then you get

50:56

lung cancer and you die. But they're stupid, so. You

50:59

little brat. That's like, it's

51:02

probably fine, it's probably fine.

51:04

How much money do cigarettes cost? Like

51:07

a pack of zins right now. How much money do zins cost? It's

51:09

quite a lot because of the taxes. What is it

51:12

in California? What does a zin have at cost, like

51:14

on average? I didn't

51:16

even hear about zins until just now, so I'd

51:18

have no idea. $3.99, that can't be right. Oh

51:20

my God, okay. For what? For

51:23

like a single zin's pouch? No, it's

51:26

just a can. A can

51:28

of zins? A

51:30

can of zins cost. Oh

51:33

my God, it's really just trying to. I

51:36

just don't like the fact that it's a big company selling

51:38

you an addictive chemical. No, I can't

51:40

believe it's legal, like the sort of pharmaceutical level. Would

51:42

you be okay if there was a mom and pop

51:44

operation? I would, government would. If

51:46

you want to grow your own tobacco and smoke it

51:48

or buy some unknown nicotine brand. What if the Girl

51:51

Scout sold zins instead of cookies? The

51:53

government should sell it to you. The Girl Scout came to

51:56

your door and said, I'm selling Thin Mint Zins, would you

51:58

buy them? Or

52:01

I'm sorry, what if it was the peanut butter ones

52:03

doesn't the girl Scouts already isn't the whole girl Scout

52:05

cookie thing already? Kind of like a sham like don't

52:07

they get money from yeah, they

52:09

should just go full tilt Yeah, just

52:11

sells in so imagine cookies that you literally have

52:14

to buy cuz you get I mean, they're already

52:16

shows for big oil They're already shows for Philip

52:18

Morris. They're already scouts. Yeah, let's just chill for

52:20

big oil. No, I just made that up I

52:23

bet they would though. Yeah, I believed it because I

52:25

believe they would the boy Scouts. They don't do anything

52:28

like that. They just They

52:30

do other things just be careful. Be

52:32

careful what you say next well, what

52:35

I mean uniform Scout. Oh, hey The

52:41

boy Scouts Wearing

52:45

for that uniform when I was

52:47

in fifth grade We had

52:49

this like big awesome dare assembly actually is

52:52

like in the class was my ceramics class

52:54

or something and we had to They gave us like some

52:56

you know, like I don't feel like we did a lot

52:58

of water So you could literally make a crack pipe there

53:01

We did a lot of dare stuff and I just remember this

53:03

one time they asked us to like Draw

53:05

like a draw a scene Draw

53:08

like what it's like to be on drugs or something like draw

53:10

the Consequences of being on drugs

53:12

and how it'll destroy your life I may so

53:14

I get I get my paper I get my

53:16

crayons I start scribbling down some stuff and I

53:18

do I drew such a sick car going so

53:21

fast down the road Skidding down

53:23

the road a guy hanging out of it

53:25

like blood coming out of him like decapitated

53:27

There was like heroin needles kind of like

53:29

stars in the sky. There was there was

53:31

like I'm so has this picture That's it.

53:33

That's like that's exactly the pick. I knew

53:35

what I knew exactly right now. I nailed

53:37

it Yeah, this guy was like

53:39

doing drugs and he his car crashed. There's like

53:41

booze like, you know like bottles with like Yeah,

53:45

okay, I could even draw pot leaf in

53:47

fifth grade Wow Yeah,

53:50

that's really impressive like

53:52

this I learned they're like, how do you know so

53:54

much younger? I'm so wise Tell

53:57

us your ways teach us your ways show us show

53:59

us That's where that car came from. The car looks

54:01

awesome. Ceramics class? Yeah, yeah. I just remember

54:03

it was in the art room. Did you ever make ashtrays?

54:06

That was my favorite. No, that was

54:08

in elementary school. Oh my God. Did

54:10

you actually make an ashtray in elementary school? No.

54:13

Okay. I feel like that is something- I never

54:15

got to be in ceramics in high school for some reason. I

54:17

just missed it. But I know all the kids would always

54:19

try to make pipes and bongs and stuff and disguise it.

54:22

It's a vase with a weird hole here. Yeah.

54:27

Yeah, I

54:29

don't really remember too much. I

54:32

think the most core memory I have is

54:34

we had this obese woman

54:37

health teacher who was telling

54:39

us about the reason she's

54:41

fat is because she smoked

54:43

cigarettes. Whoa. And then when

54:45

she quit cigarettes, she would

54:47

eat peanuts instead. And

54:50

she ate so many peanuts that she got

54:52

fat. That's calorically dense. And I actually feel

54:54

like that was probably the most effective

54:57

anti-smoking campaign I've ever gotten

55:00

because it was someone's actual

55:02

experience. And it wasn't exaggerated

55:04

at all. This was also

55:06

the same person that did sex ed in that grade

55:08

and talked about crabs and how you can

55:11

get rid of them by shaving. But she's not sure why anybody

55:13

would shave. Yeah,

55:16

looking back on it, teachers are messed

55:18

up. They're just

55:20

people. You look back, they're really just people. They

55:24

absolutely are way less, I think,

55:27

responsible and adult than they wanted

55:29

you to believe back then. I

55:33

really love the idea of being an

55:35

obese teacher and then just using it

55:38

for like any number of life lessons

55:40

because you don't know for sure that

55:42

that was actually why she was obese.

55:45

I feel like she wasn't clever enough to

55:47

have like come up with

55:50

that story. She was like, you

55:52

could be teaching like pre-calc and

55:54

being like, oh yeah, when I

55:56

was your age, I failed my pre-calc

55:58

class and it made me fat. I had to

56:00

be fat and I smoked cigarettes and

56:03

I did drugs and I sucked dick

56:05

under a bridge for drugs. Yeah, and like all of

56:07

that's gonna happen if you don't pass this class this

56:09

year. Anyways, that's just my personal

56:11

anecdote. Hope it doesn't happen to you, kid.

56:14

You're like sitting there like quaking and you

56:16

like pissed yourself. I think that's a very

56:19

effective teaching tool. Cause I love how they

56:21

just tell you like, oh, you do drugs

56:23

and you'll like, you'll die. Drugs are bad,

56:25

okay? Drugs are bad. Can you imagine if

56:27

it was like a really fit, physically attractive

56:29

teacher saying like, they tried drugs once and

56:31

it wasn't for them. You'd be like, wow, I'm

56:33

gonna do drugs. Dude, I would probably

56:35

not do drugs. If they actually said they did drugs

56:38

once and they didn't like it, that

56:40

would probably be like, like

56:42

just the honesty. Cause kids are

56:45

smart, dude. I

56:47

had an English teacher who was like

56:49

legitimately one of those like, you know,

56:51

inspirational high school English teachers. And

56:53

he did something that worked on

56:56

me for like years back

56:58

massages. No, it was, it was,

57:01

he literally would just, he

57:03

said like, like, okay, like all

57:05

those drugs, just wait until

57:08

you're at least 25 years old. Cause

57:10

right now you're in high school, your brain is developing.

57:12

If you do any drugs right now, it's gonna fuck

57:14

up your brain. Wait until it's done and then you

57:17

can do whatever you want. That's so smart. Like

57:19

you don't tell them, no, you just tell them that

57:22

there's a time and a place to do it. And they'll

57:24

be like, oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. It actually

57:26

worked like that. I think that message a lot more recently.

57:28

It, it, like, there's a time and place for everything and

57:30

it's college. It became a brain worm for me. Like I

57:33

literally, there are times where I actually would

57:35

like say no to things based on that

57:37

logic until like, like a little bit into

57:39

college when people are like, like, you're like

57:41

21. You're like, I'm close. Yeah. Basically

57:44

people are like, or like, well, I mean, do you

57:46

actually believe that? I'll snort some Benadryl. But

57:49

for years it had a lasting effect on

57:51

me for years. Spriting what? Whatever. It

57:54

was so like logically set, like it made sense.

57:56

It wasn't to know. It was like a

57:58

just wait until you're done. There's

58:00

I think unfortunately a lot of like actually

58:02

sort of stupid teachers who

58:05

are maybe socially inept like they don't

58:07

understand how to communicate with anything other

58:09

than like absolutes. Right. And

58:11

so instead of having a relationship with students they try

58:13

to have rules with students and then they tell them

58:15

not to do drugs and the students are like well

58:17

I don't follow any of your other rules. So

58:20

you bet you're tired to ask I'm going to go smoke some

58:22

crack after class. Seriously

58:26

though like make your kids rebel against you

58:28

like they're going to do the exact opposite

58:30

of what you asked them to write. But

58:32

telling them like giving them a warning almost

58:34

like a personal anecdote you're like wait like

58:36

that that's like trustworthy. You know. Mm hmm.

58:38

Did you guys ever have this experience in

58:40

college like no any friends that like were

58:42

super straight edge their whole life and then

58:45

like once they get to college and there's

58:47

like nothing holding them back. They they go

58:49

crazy. They start they start doing like way

58:51

too many drugs start drinking way too much.

58:53

Yeah. Yeah. It's like that's definitely it's a

58:55

thing. It's definitely a thing. It's like

58:58

your parents force you to not do

59:00

something. They're like they're literally like winding

59:02

a garage door spring up. Yeah. And

59:04

then they're like OK go to college

59:06

like garage door spring that's been tightened

59:08

tend to turn too many. And

59:11

the kid comes back a frickin crack addict

59:13

and they're like what did we do wrong.

59:16

Oh it's like you set your kid up to go into the

59:18

real world and explore all the things that you told them were

59:20

bad and then realize well they weren't that bad and then they

59:22

figured out how to make it bad by doing way too many.

59:24

Well yeah. No I know

59:27

it's bad. It's like religious kids too. Mostly I

59:29

think it's a lot. I mean like soaking is

59:31

only is a thing for only one reason because

59:35

a religion because it feels good. People

59:38

people don't soak for fun. They soak for Jesus.

59:40

I don't know. It's like the more the merrier

59:42

right. You get your friend involved. It's like you

59:44

know that's even more people like Mario Party. Yeah.

59:46

You don't want to play Mario Party with just

59:48

two people. It works with even the powers out

59:50

though. Four people maybe even you get

59:52

two people. Court can you look at how

59:54

many people are required. Yeah. Are they allowed to do more

59:56

than three. I feel like if there was you know eight

59:58

people jumping up and down. Do you have to

1:00:00

be Mormon to soak? You could

1:00:03

probably be whatever you want to be Came

1:00:05

up with this shit, and then how did everybody go along with

1:00:07

it like it's okay? It's got to be at

1:00:09

least partially a meme because it's so funny Yeah,

1:00:12

I know that it's like I feel like it's

1:00:14

something like two people did and then it just

1:00:16

became a meme All right, if you're if you're

1:00:18

listening this new more man. There's an article Mormon

1:00:20

soaking factor fish it fiction That's got that must

1:00:22

be gotta be fat. I feel like a lot

1:00:25

of these guys It's funny like I don't know.

1:00:27

It's closeted about it. You're like that Dude,

1:00:30

I think that's smart. I think people

1:00:32

are when they're not starving like Alan

1:00:34

said They're

1:00:38

like fetish is sex and

1:00:40

then they figure out how to like do it without breaking the

1:00:42

rules And then they they

1:00:44

do whatever soaking it if there is a

1:00:47

God and and he's like why are you

1:00:49

asking chat? You go to heaven and he

1:00:51

pulls up like a screenshot of you soaking

1:00:55

How are you gonna explain that I remember

1:00:57

that that was awesome. Yeah, you're like technically

1:00:59

Technically, you're like, thanks God for

1:01:01

giving me all the facilities and friends. I needed to soak

1:01:07

If you're able to do it then it's

1:01:09

good by definition God's will right you can't

1:01:11

defy God There you go, right? If you

1:01:13

were able to do anything. It must be

1:01:15

God's will you could never defeat God I

1:01:17

am a strong proponent of that. I feel

1:01:19

like I feel like if

1:01:21

you're allowed to do it Then

1:01:24

you're allowed to do it You're

1:01:27

allowed to God won't let us time travel won't let us

1:01:29

time travel He won't let us

1:01:31

have cold fusion. He won't let us have

1:01:33

sex before marriage He won't let us have

1:01:35

what he went on you so fucking

1:01:37

cheeseburgers McDonald's anymore. Oh God

1:01:41

you remember that I do when they would they would

1:01:43

be like that like what like every quarter or whatever

1:01:45

They'd have like the 20 cent burger all the old

1:01:47

meat They hadn't sold a favor people

1:01:49

would like like people I knew when I

1:01:52

was a kid Like they would go through the

1:01:54

drive through like multiple times at once and then

1:01:56

they would take like 30 burgers

1:01:58

home and put them in the freezer is

1:20:01

two thirds of the power that my car

1:20:03

charges at. No, I'm

1:20:05

telling you, it'll take like a fully frozen sandwich

1:20:07

and make it crispy on the outside. And like

1:20:10

the chicken will be like soft and

1:20:12

warm on the inside. 30

1:20:15

seconds. Whoa. Yeah, it's nuts.

1:20:18

That's actually amazing. It's like you can't put

1:20:20

any more microwaves into it or you'll probably

1:20:22

open it. spooling up like.

1:20:26

It's like, it's like just rushing air through it. Yeah.

1:20:29

I bet you could make a shitty version of

1:20:31

that for an order of magnitude less. If you

1:20:33

had $700, you could definitely make a shitty version

1:20:35

of that that worked maybe like a third as

1:20:37

good. Done in like a minute instead of 20

1:20:39

seconds. How do you stop the microwaves from fucking

1:20:41

everything up though? I

1:20:44

don't know how to use the microwave as the base. Well,

1:20:46

if you have the hot air coming through holes

1:20:49

that are smaller than the wave, what are the

1:20:51

IR though? I think it recirculates inside of there.

1:20:54

It's like a closed loop. Oh, like just like a fan.

1:20:56

What about the infrared? What about the

1:20:58

infrared? Like elements on the top. And

1:21:00

they heat up like this ceramic thing on the bottom.

1:21:02

The convection elements? Like it's just like rods?

1:21:06

Yeah, like the rod kind. How does microwaves

1:21:08

affect stuff that's wired to 110 or

1:21:11

to power? Like if you're heating moments or wired to. Or

1:21:13

look on Facebook Marketplace. I know we don't have that. We're

1:21:16

just like desperately trying to let us know that the

1:21:18

podcast is done. We're going

1:21:20

on about that turbo stuff. We're just getting started. I

1:21:22

want to find a turbo chef. We

1:21:25

just got a microwave. I haven't installed it yet.

1:21:27

That's like an actual variable magnetron.

1:21:29

Oh, that's fancy. So you can control the

1:21:31

actual. Oh, the inverter. Yeah, the inverting one.

1:21:33

Yeah, it was like a hundred bucks, but

1:21:36

we got a discount. Do

1:21:40

we have to log in? Three

1:21:42

grand. Six years ago. Used

1:21:44

and still like. Listed six years ago.

1:21:48

Flash convection oven. That

1:21:51

looks cool too. Looks like some 1950s. My

1:21:55

name Turbo Chef. Turbo Chef

1:21:57

Tornado Oven. What's that one for 950? Amazon.

1:26:00

I really don't like that they force you to log

1:26:02

into the account. Like, I mean, I guess

1:26:04

they're not here. 40

1:26:07

volts. Tool only and you need, do you actually need

1:26:09

four batteries? I think you need four batteries for a

1:26:11

top. Those batteries have to, like when I put the

1:26:13

D-walt batteries I have. Two batteries. I think I've seen

1:26:15

the one with four though. That's big. Is this a

1:26:17

new one? This looks like a new one. Could

1:26:20

you imagine, that's like the manliest man thing you put

1:26:22

in the back of your like monster truck you take

1:26:24

to your job site. Throw a Jimmy, Jimmy Dean breakfast

1:26:26

bowl. Yeah. A single hot pocket. Hungry man, a single

1:26:28

hot pocket. It's

1:26:31

tiny too. It's like a little microwave. It's to

1:26:33

cut your hot pocket in half. Like, look at

1:26:35

the, look at that picture. It's a guy's hand

1:26:37

is almost the entire size of that. You have

1:26:39

to first you put your Makita battery into your

1:26:41

sawzall so you can cut your hot pocket in

1:26:43

half. And then

1:26:45

you put your battery back on and cook one half at a time. Dude

1:26:49

those batteries are probably like a hundred fifty dollars each

1:26:51

or more. I think some of my D-walt batteries. Oh, a

1:26:53

coffee maker. There's a Makita

1:26:55

coffee maker! A hundred and fifty

1:26:57

dollars ships from Japan. Of

1:27:00

course. I don't know why that makes sense, but it does. And

1:27:03

you can brew a cup of hot coffee on the,

1:27:06

in the workplace. Out in

1:27:08

the field. Do they not have electricity on construction

1:27:10

sites? Dude. Not for

1:27:12

coffee. Not. What

1:27:14

happened to a thermos? I, I'm

1:27:17

on, I'm on team Kevin here. No, I want

1:27:19

to make the coffee with the power tool better.

1:27:22

I'm the old boomer now. Okay. Cause that's dumb.

1:27:24

You ever see the, there was like, I think

1:27:26

Makita made like a shot back to like a

1:27:29

Roomba. No. It was like a robot.

1:27:31

Yeah. I think Simone had one. It was just like,

1:27:34

you know, what's the worst place in the world for a

1:27:36

shot back is like a messy shot. Like,

1:27:38

oh, I cut off a sliver of a

1:27:41

two by four. That's like just too big

1:27:43

for the robot to get over. Now it's

1:27:45

completely crippled and laid, like lathe shavings. No,

1:27:49

it sucks up basically metal pubes and like,

1:27:54

but that like, like that is dust gets all in the,

1:27:56

in the motor windings. The

1:27:58

batteries though, for your microwave.