0:00

Y'all, hormones, it's

0:03

impossible not to have them. There's. Over

0:05

one thousand hormone disruptors in our food

0:07

or water, the air that close the

0:10

skincare, the dryer sheets. everything child is

0:12

a scam to the hormones. Okay, plus

0:14

we have natural hormonal changes that our

0:17

bodies go through. Like what's going on

0:19

my body? like. I.

0:21

Am now in my thirties and mosque

0:23

in his acting like a teenager was

0:26

born on the hormones which is why

0:28

I love hormone Harmony. It contains science

0:30

backed herbal extracts caught adapt to genes.

0:33

Okay, so adapted and help the body

0:35

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0:37

It's perfect for women struggling with Pm

0:39

as menopause and more honey. Yeah no

0:42

I work hello jobs or on. Harmony

0:44

is really help me like regulate especially

0:46

like sleep and just relaxation and calming

0:49

down and not panicking as much. They've

0:51

got seventy doesn't review so you don't you out

0:53

of the listen to me. By get

0:55

into it and for a limited time,

0:58

you can get fifty percent off your

1:00

entire order at Hormone mammoth.com Just use

1:02

the code. got his at check. Watch

1:06

Queenie, the new original series on

1:08

Hulu. Who is Queenie? She's

1:11

in her 20s, she lives in

1:13

London, she's facing all the first.

1:15

First major heartbreak, first shitty apartment

1:17

and soul sucking job, first therapy

1:19

session to work through those mommy

1:21

issues. Can she turn her quarter

1:23

life crisis into a revolution? Maybe.

1:26

Will she make some questionable decisions on the way? Definitely.

1:31

The new series, Queenie, premieres June 7th,

1:33

streaming on Hulu. What's

1:37

poppin' Congregation? It's your girl Lacey

1:39

Moseley, aka Scam Goddess. Welcome to

1:41

an episode of Fraud Fridays, where

1:44

we release older episodes from the

1:46

Scam Goddess Vault. That's right, Fraud

1:49

Fridays is where we bring back

1:51

your favorite episodes from behind the

1:53

paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind

1:56

the paywall, and as always, stay

1:58

schemin'. Sky! Scam,

2:01

com, robbery,

2:05

and fraud. Scam,

2:10

com, robbery,

2:13

and fraud.

2:15

Scam Goddess!

2:18

Welcome back, congregation. It's time for

2:20

another installment of Scam Goddess Pod.

2:22

It's ya girl, Scam Goddess, and

2:24

I'm here to give y'all the

2:26

tea on all things robbery. And

2:29

I'm super excited. Say it

2:32

with me, guys. I'm super

2:34

excited for our guests

2:36

today. If you've been watching, bless

2:38

this mess. If you've been watching,

2:40

insecure. Why did I say insecure

2:42

like that? No

2:45

idea, but I love it. Say it like that

2:47

every time. That's so good. Insecure.

2:49

Well, you've already heard it now. Guys, we have Langston. Langston, how

2:52

you say it last time? I should have asked this before. Kermit.

2:54

It's very phonetic. Yeah, it's straight

2:56

up and down. Come

2:58

on. No, I'm

3:01

not Creole. There ain't no French in there. You

3:03

hella like it. So you know, you might have

3:05

been Creole. I didn't know. Oh, I wish I

3:07

was Creole. That should be my scam, is just

3:09

telling people I'm Creole from now on. That would

3:12

be. That's funny because that's going to

3:14

tie into what we talk about later today. So I

3:16

think you're going to enjoy this. I

3:18

love a good Cajun scam. Let's get

3:20

into it. Not a Cajun scam. It's

3:23

like, what is that? That seasoning sauce? That's,

3:26

uh, it's got that little, it's like

3:28

in a green. You

3:30

know what I'm talking about? Every black family has this

3:32

seasoning sauce. It's in a green bottle or not bottle,

3:34

but like a green container and it's got a little

3:36

chef on it. I can't remember what it's called. I

3:39

don't know. I feel

3:41

less black than I was the day

3:43

before. But that's crazy because you host

3:46

a very black podcast. I do

3:48

have the very black podcast. We just

3:50

talk about conspiracy theory and nonsense rooted

3:52

in conspiracy theory with black people. It's

3:54

a great time. Yes.

3:56

Well, wait. So do you have any

3:58

relationship with scams? I've

4:03

been scammed. I

4:06

have been the recipient of

4:09

scams, I guess, the victim of

4:11

scams, I think is the correct

4:13

word. I like the recipient. Maybe

4:16

this is – yeah, I was blessed

4:18

with someone else's scam in my life.

4:21

I like that. I remember

4:23

the only scam scam that I think

4:25

I ever tried to pull was in

4:28

fourth grade. Me and my friends collectively

4:30

decided that we were going to steal

4:32

a girl's purse in class. We

4:34

weren't going to steal it. We were just going to

4:37

hide it for the day. And then – Okay. And

4:39

hide the money in your pocket? We

4:42

didn't take the money. It was fourth

4:44

grade, so she was broke. Okay. She

4:47

was unemployed. Understandable. It wasn't

4:49

a big come-up for anybody, but it

4:52

was just like, oh, shit, we don't like

4:54

her, so we're going to hide her purse.

4:56

And then we all got suspended from school

4:58

because apparently you can't do that. That's

5:00

what the teacher and everyone involved

5:03

told us. Wow. That's so

5:05

gross. Were you all black? The

5:09

victims – I'm calling myself the

5:12

victim in this – the

5:15

people who were suspended, two out of three of us were black. But

5:17

we stole the white girl's purse, so we was fucking up.

5:19

Oh, you should have known better. Where did things come up

5:22

in? Where did your girl come up in? I'm

5:24

from the suburbs of Chicago. I was

5:26

learning blackness as I went. You know

5:28

what I mean? I

5:31

got a white father. He did his best

5:33

to introduce blackness to me as best he

5:35

could, but no, I had to learn as

5:37

I went along. Wow. Okay.

5:39

So I take it that you have a black mother. I have

5:42

a black mother, yes. She's been black this

5:44

whole time. That's correct. Okay, yes. You

5:46

know, there's a joke

5:48

that – I feel like I can say it

5:51

because enough people have co-signed it, but of

5:53

my mixed friends, they were like, you can always

5:55

tell when a black girl has a white mama

5:57

versus when she has a black mama. White

6:00

mom syndrome is very much a

6:03

thing. And I know a

6:05

few people who, you know,

6:07

you look at the heroes of America and quite

6:09

a few of them suffer from that. Where

6:11

it's just like, they do some cool shit, but then

6:14

you see that white mom shit come out real fast.

6:16

And hey, no shade to white mamas with black children.

6:18

We're not shading y'all. We just stand in the

6:21

corner. Oh, I am. I'm shading you. Okay,

6:23

when? I, consider this

6:25

a cloak of darkness over you

6:27

because it's lots of shade on

6:29

my end. Don't get me in

6:32

trouble. You know, my listeners are the Peloton

6:34

community. Okay, you go get me canceled. Okay.

6:37

I apologize. Enjoy your 30 minute rides

6:39

this morning and your 30 minute rides

6:41

this evening. I got you. Look,

6:44

I don't want to be a reductress headline. Okay. I'm

6:47

trying to keep my life together. So

6:50

let's get into it. Actually, hold on. I

6:52

have to take a petty pullover. I have

6:54

to pull over one moment for some pettiness.

6:57

This goes out to on

7:00

TikTok. I see you bitch. I

7:03

see you stealing my merch. I see

7:05

you scamming me. She

7:07

made a video with my audio

7:09

where she is designing merch for

7:11

the merch that I have merged

7:14

for leg 2020. I

7:16

mean, I don't really see any

7:18

coins from that. They were donating it to black lives

7:20

matter. And it's just like, there's a whole, you know, whatever. So

7:22

it's not like you're stealing my money per se, but

7:25

don't steal my things. Okay. I'm just being

7:27

tried. Okay. What's the name?

7:29

Fuck you. How dare you

7:31

steal her merch? This is a

7:33

petty moment. Cause it was like, it got like 1.2

7:36

million views. It's the most viewed videos she's had. People

7:38

just kept tagging me. And then she turned off the

7:40

comments and I was like, see

7:43

you know what you're doing. And

7:45

I don't know. I'm on one

7:47

hand. I respect you. I

7:50

fucks with you. I'm

7:53

mad. I don't know how

7:56

to feel. As a fan of scammers, you have to respect

7:58

the scammer at work. But on the other hand. you're

8:00

the victim now, much like me. You

8:02

have to weigh in. Are you just

8:04

receiving this scam, or are you truly

8:06

a victim here? Lacey, you're scamming because you

8:09

weren't the victim. You planned to steal a

8:11

little white woman's purse. Lacey, Lacey,

8:13

Lacey, I didn't come here

8:15

for semantics. I came here

8:17

to talk about scams. What

8:19

are we doing? I

8:21

love it. I love it. On that note,

8:24

let's get into it. All right, so

8:26

we've got a listener letter for what's

8:28

hot and fraud. This comes from someone

8:30

who wants to be named Nancy, aka

8:32

Nancy Drew. That's what she named herself.

8:34

I was like, okay, Nancy. That's a

8:36

bold choice. Nancy Drew was a hell

8:38

of a detective. You

8:41

coming in hot. Right.

8:43

Was Encyclopedia Brown a detective? I've never heard

8:45

of that show, but I saw that reference

8:48

recently. Encyclopedia Brown, I believe, was

8:50

a detective. I only knew it

8:52

as books. I think it

8:55

was like a series of books about a

8:57

young white man, young white boy who

9:00

was going to do Scooby-Doo

9:02

type detective work

9:04

on his just volunteer work,

9:06

which I don't trust that shit. Any little

9:09

kid who wants to play cop,

9:11

you're a bad dude. Fuck you. Right.

9:13

You're getting into cop too early. That's just how

9:16

they be choking cats, seeing

9:18

how much they can murder at a young age. You

9:21

like the police this much that

9:23

you want to pretend? Fuck you,

9:26

Encyclopedia Brown. For free? For free?

9:29

For no coins? Nancy

9:32

Drew says, I found your podcast completely

9:34

by accident two weeks ago, and

9:37

some really nice things about the show. I'm only reading

9:39

the thing about her finding the podcast two weeks ago

9:41

because this is the only reason I'm not going to

9:43

drag you, Nancy, because if you were a long time

9:46

listener, then I would have to really just drag you

9:48

for this. So I'm going to

9:50

be kinder to you. Maybe. I don't know. Langston

9:52

seems to like to drag people, so we might

9:54

end up having to just... Nancy, I want to

9:56

be... I'm sorry, Nancy. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry

9:58

as well because you... to get cussed

10:00

the fuck out. But go ahead, lazy, finish

10:02

the letter. I cussed out. I cussed out.

10:05

Anyways, getting straight to the point, I got

10:07

scammed a few days ago and I absolutely

10:09

don't mind if you laugh at my expense.

10:11

Well, thank you, Nancy. We was going to

10:13

do it anyway, but thank you. I'm glad

10:15

you would join it. That's what I like

10:17

to hear. A good sport. She says, I

10:19

was a damn fool. Come on, girl. She

10:21

said, oh yeah. And this is what she

10:23

told the caller, Nancy. Okay. So this is

10:25

a Twitter scam that I discovered a few

10:27

days ago and I thought I should share

10:29

this BS with Lacey. I want people to

10:32

be aware of the gross individuals out there

10:34

preying on people's desperation during these times. So

10:36

on the show, we always talk about the

10:38

despot meter. Yeah. So that's like, if

10:40

you think something is suspect, but you're like, I

10:43

don't know, I should try it. It's like this

10:45

moment where you think about how bad you want

10:47

it. But if you want something real bad, chances

10:50

are you're more desperate and you're more likely

10:52

to get scammed. And that goes for everything.

10:54

I mean, if you lonely, then yeah, you're

10:57

going to let the guy with a questionable

10:59

hygiene and you know, like, maybe he has

11:01

a place to live, come over to your

11:03

house and dick you down. You know,

11:05

it's like when you, uh, if you're horny

11:08

enough and you start getting those tabs

11:10

that open up when you go on websites

11:12

and it's like, it's some, uh, it's

11:14

some thick Asians near you. Wait

11:17

a minute. Oh, am I,

11:19

am I bold enough to click on this

11:21

picture of a thick Asian woman who may

11:23

in fact be near me? I got you.

11:25

Despo meter. I've made it. Yeah, you

11:28

did. It was a very specific reference.

11:30

We'll take it. Uh, but yes, if

11:32

you are clicking on singles near you, hot

11:34

horny milks, why do I, why can I rattle

11:36

off so many of these? I don't, anyway, we're

11:38

gonna, we're just talking about me, Nancy.

11:41

Um, so Nancy said

11:44

that I've been retweeting all of these

11:46

giveaways and quotes I've seen, like the

11:48

one saying giving away $5,000 must

11:51

be following me and blah, blah, blah. A

11:53

few days ago I had woken up to

11:56

a message that said I won. Whoa. way.

12:00

I'm like no way is

12:02

this real. Now see Nancy, you that could

12:04

have been you could have opened your phone,

12:07

closed your phone back and

12:11

this would have been over. That's all you

12:13

had to do was hit the home screen

12:15

sis. You knew. You didn't have to invest

12:17

further into this. You could have walked away

12:19

Nancy. But I'm glad that you

12:21

did. So they're literally using a

12:23

sweet face grandma as the profile pic. I'll

12:26

attach pics to this. Okay, but the sad

12:28

little part of my brain. Okay, sorry, but

12:30

this sad little part of my brain that

12:32

is just way too trusting and wants to

12:35

see the best of people was like, Hmm,

12:37

what if dude seriously fuck that voice in

12:39

your head because it fucked shit up. You

12:41

right. Nancy. It's like you say everything is

12:44

a scam. Yes. So you know, I can

12:46

drag you because you knew better. So she

12:48

says, I should have been out

12:50

here questioning everything. All right, let's get to it. So

12:53

there's a meat and potato. A

12:57

lot of her turmoil. I really let her get it

13:00

out. Just like I had to fight with who's

13:03

probably 15. But

13:06

listen,

13:10

that don't mean you can't get these hands 15 or

13:12

not. You can still get fist fought.

13:14

You give us back Lacey's March. It's

13:17

done. Your little scam is over. Continue.

13:19

Please tell me more. Right. Thank you.

13:21

You lucky. You lucky. Y'all guys zoom

13:23

University right now. Otherwise I'll be doing

13:25

up. Okay. To

13:27

a park near you. So here

13:29

we go. Jesus, I

13:32

messaged one of the people and they literally responded in

13:34

like three minutes. Yeah, because it was thirsty.

13:37

That was another red flag. And

13:39

she sent me this sketchy ass

13:41

message saying something about a Bitcoin

13:43

transfer some absolute fucking dog shit.

13:45

Okay, man. Now, he

13:48

said that basically she was telling me

13:50

that I had to send $50 and

13:52

receive the payment right away. And

13:54

some other BS about her paying off her mom's

13:56

medical bills. I'll send you the screenshot. This shit

13:59

is unreal. Anyways, Anyway,

14:01

so she's supposed to be winning $5,000. Right.

14:05

And then as soon as she gets

14:07

to the DM's, she's like, okay, hey,

14:09

give me the coins. And she's like,

14:11

actually, you know, my auntie broke her

14:13

leg and she got sciatica and we

14:15

need $50. And

14:19

that's the thing. I think that here's the

14:21

thing. The government, whenever

14:24

they give me my tax returns, they never

14:27

prefaced it by being like, hey, by the way, we,

14:30

the government hurt our ankle earlier. So just

14:32

keep that in mind as you receive this

14:34

money from us. That doesn't make sense. They're

14:36

not the, you don't get to tell me

14:38

about your problems if you're giving me a

14:40

gift. Right. And it's not

14:43

a gift. It's your own fucking money that they stole

14:45

for a tax free loan. Sure. The

14:47

government is right. Anyway. It's

14:50

the only scammers I believe in.

14:52

So anyway, I, listen, I don't

14:55

think the government has ever done

14:57

anything wrong to anybody. I

14:59

like their work. I feel like the money that

15:01

they give back to me is a sweet treat

15:03

that I didn't deserve. But

15:05

thank you, Papa government for, for giving it

15:07

back to me and you got them right.

15:10

I'll work to service you at all times

15:12

in all ways. Wow. Wow.

15:16

We got a real boot like on the show today. I

15:19

love you, Teddy government. Thank

15:23

you, uncle Sam. Anyway, okay. So

15:27

I'm still suspicious and yet I'm saying,

15:29

but what if, oh, come

15:31

on now, girl. Why are you still suspicious? This is

15:33

beyond suspicion. They told you they were robbing you. They

15:35

said, hey, we're here for robbery. Would

15:37

you like to sign up? We've got a robbery

15:39

on aisle three, please. Right.

15:42

Yeah. So she goes, the fuck I don't have

15:44

$50 to throw away, but maybe I'll send 10. So

15:47

she responds saying she would then only be able to send

15:49

me back 2000 LMFAO. I

15:52

dead ass went into my cash app. Oh,

15:54

you black. I did. I said

15:57

her 20. $25

16:00

and this is where you have the

16:03

full right to laugh at me the

16:05

payment fucking Decline so she went into

16:07

cash app, which is the shadiest of

16:09

all the apps. It is for crime

16:13

That's what the C stands for it Well, can

16:15

you break down the the hierarchy for

16:17

me because I do agree that I

16:19

think cash app is the the lesser

16:21

of the transfer Where's the top where

16:23

are we adding? I'm a Venmo

16:25

man. I like Venmo. Is that a good one? Venmo

16:28

is in the middle class. Okay

16:30

for sure. I feel like the

16:33

top is PayPal. Oh Yeah,

16:36

cuz you know PayPal really like it

16:39

feels like almost like a bank like they'll stop

16:41

transfers I'll be like this for shady paper. I'll

16:43

be like we beat this nigga up for you

16:47

They feel like number one in protection

16:49

is security Then you

16:52

got Venmo, which is like, you know colloquial. It's

16:54

like hey send me money for the wine or

16:56

let's split those apps That's

16:58

cute. It's your everyday Everyday,

17:01

I got you trustworthy then

17:04

you got cash app, which

17:06

is definitely for crime It's

17:08

where you go and you pay your weed

17:10

man, but you say like dog walking services

17:13

or whatever Cuz

17:15

I feel like Venmo checks on that too much because I

17:17

used to have friends who got kicked off Venmo because

17:19

they were jokingly Like then mommy and be like for drugs

17:21

and then Vemo was like Oh, then mo

17:24

can kick you off They can kick

17:26

you off. They say oh wait on mark

17:28

Zuckerberg's app. That's crazy because

17:30

I be sending prostitution to

17:32

my mom all the time She'll

17:34

like ask me for some money. I'll send

17:37

her some wild like prostitution and she they've

17:39

never said anything to me They must know

17:41

that that there

17:43

must be fine with me being a prostitute. I guess that's

17:45

really yeah Listen

17:48

ain't no business like whole business

17:50

and you and then more I Mean

17:54

was like look we're not sending all of our workers to

17:57

only fans Okay, so if y'all want to get jobs been

17:59

most for these feet, pigs, y'all go

18:01

right ahead. Listen, drugs, no deal,

18:03

but prostitution, go crazy. We

18:05

know what you're doing, go ahead. Sex work

18:08

should be legal, so I actually fucked with

18:10

Venmo for not stopping you for that. So,

18:12

let's go Venmo, I'm down. But

18:15

then after that, I think it's Western Union, because

18:17

that's really where you go when you're like, when

18:20

you gotta show up in person for the most part, Western

18:23

Union is time for crime. You go

18:25

in there, you know what you're doing,

18:27

it's seedy, everybody knows. There's bulletproof glass,

18:30

it ain't nothing good happening in a

18:32

Western Union, that ain't. Even

18:34

where you go where there's bulletproof glass

18:36

to protect the workers, it's just, I

18:39

remember there was a KSC like that in

18:41

Pittsburgh or somewhere where like, if you went,

18:44

then you had to like open up a

18:46

drawer. Yeah, the old skinny

18:48

drawer. Yeah, the drawer opened to the other

18:50

side and that's how they sent you your food, and it

18:52

was like five inches of bulletproof glass.

18:55

Yeah, that's because five inches of niggas

18:57

got shot in there and they needed

19:00

to make up for what had happened in the past,

19:02

I get it. Good

19:04

for you KFC, for protecting that

19:06

moist chicken that you keep serving

19:09

out. Oh

19:12

gosh, so back to this letter,

19:14

because we have made a departure. So,

19:17

remember she tries to hackle, she's like, okay, I

19:19

can't send you 50, I can send you 10. She's like,

19:21

okay, Betwif, you're not gonna send me 50, I can't send

19:23

you 500, so I'm gonna send you 2000. So

19:26

then she's like, you know what, okay, I'll up it to $25, what

19:28

can I get for 25? How much money will

19:30

you give me for $25? Because

19:33

you know how money works, you know how

19:35

it works. What's the ratio here, hook me

19:37

up, I'm trying to get paid. I

19:41

bought some money with some other money, I bought $2,000 with $25. So,

19:45

she tries to send the payment and Cash App's

19:47

shady ass is like, we don't trust it, which

19:50

means that it's very, very bad, because Cash App

19:52

is like, we'll let it slide. They're

19:54

like, oh, this seems

19:57

shady, but we'll let it go, it's none of our business,

19:59

they mostly turn the other. cheat. So

20:01

they blocked the payment because it was in

20:03

a sketchy account, right? Then I go,

20:06

Oh, I have

20:08

PayPal too. God damn

20:11

lady. What are you doing? Nancy?

20:13

Come on. Why the

20:16

fuck am I like this? She

20:18

said that. Oh, good for her. Okay.

20:20

She knows. Yeah. So I

20:25

sent them the money. I ultimately thought, okay, if

20:27

I lose this $25, I will gain the information

20:31

I needed to fully understand. I

20:33

love that. If I pay this person $25,

20:35

I will learn

20:42

I'm dumb as hell. Officially. I

20:46

will learn just how goofy I am. Uh,

20:49

and it will be documented for all

20:51

of time. Listen,

20:53

they don't teach you how dumb you are

20:55

in school. They don't. That's the fact. That's

20:57

the problem. They teach us that we're more

20:59

capable than we actually are. They tell us

21:02

we have all the potential in the world

21:04

when in fact they should be like, Hey

21:06

dog, you don't read as well

21:08

as you think that you do. And so

21:10

you should enter every reading situation with less

21:12

confidence and see where that gets you as

21:15

a person. Like maybe caution

21:17

or like, you know, it's not even about

21:19

being bad. It's just that in America, we're

21:21

always trying to teach our kids that like

21:24

you can be anything. And it's like, no,

21:26

I couldn't have been a statistician. Like I,

21:28

you know, I can get the basics of

21:30

numbers. I pass calc somehow, but I couldn't

21:33

have done that job. I couldn't be a

21:35

NASA scientist. No, I think you're gonna be

21:37

like, you know what? You will be great

21:39

with a wrench. Here's the wrench.

21:42

You need to tighten them desks

21:44

up during recess. Listen, I'll

21:46

crush that interview. I'm good at being sociable

21:48

and present, but once it comes to the

21:50

real work, no, I'm gonna fuck that up.

21:53

So maybe somebody should tell me that early.

21:55

Right. So I don't waste my time trying

21:58

to be an astronaut engineer or my favorite

22:00

scam job that the children, I

22:02

don't even know where kids learn

22:04

about this, but we all did.

22:06

A marine biologist. Every little thing

22:08

that was eight years old wanted

22:11

to be a marine biologist.

22:13

I remember, speaking of

22:15

scams, I remember in college, I had

22:19

come to my final semester and realized that I

22:21

had 20 credits that still needed

22:23

to be filled. And so I was like, it's

22:26

a lot. And I was in desperation

22:28

mode to try to take whatever class

22:31

was going to, I had to take

22:33

like six or seven classes that semester

22:35

to make it all work. And one

22:37

of the classes I signed up for

22:39

was biology, because I was like, man,

22:41

I love fish. I love whales. This

22:43

is going to be easy. And it

22:45

turns out it's actually a lot more

22:47

complicated than fish and whales and not

22:49

at all an easy science. So yeah,

22:51

we were all dumb for thinking marine

22:54

biology was like some casual thing that

22:56

we could sign up for. Because

22:58

it absolutely was not. I want to show

23:00

you this old lady, but I don't know if you're going to be

23:02

able to see her from my phone. This is Rogetto. I don't

23:04

know if you're going to be able to see this. Can you

23:07

see the lady? I was there. She got some glasses. I

23:09

see you. Yeah. This is the lady

23:11

that homegirl said, this is the photo

23:13

and her name is on

23:16

Twitter guys. So it's doing

23:18

a giveaway. She's not really

23:20

doing it. And I'm gonna give you

23:22

her whole handle because I'm petty. This

23:27

is all allegedly, unless she ran a

23:29

scam on somebody. We only have

23:31

the fact that we have, but you can't sue us

23:33

because we said allegedly. But

23:36

yes, this is

23:38

messy. So when they're

23:40

talking, she's like, she

23:44

goes, it's needed for Bitcoin verification. You have

23:46

to okay, so this is what she goes.

23:49

I hope you have the $50 for the

23:51

Bitcoin verification, just like she said before we

23:53

proceed. And she was like $50 for what?

23:55

I don't have an extra $50 lying around.

23:57

This is Nancy. This is definitely black. That's

24:00

just a black way to say that. I don't got to

24:02

ask if $50 is lying right now. This

24:05

is how we talk. So she said,

24:07

it's needed for the Bitcoin verification. You have

24:09

to put in $50 on your cash app

24:11

balance, so it'll send you a tag to

24:14

send it to, so I can

24:16

receive the Bitcoin and get the payment

24:19

completed. This way you'll know that

24:21

it's real and legit. Will you? So

24:23

I see how she phrased it. Like

24:28

the steps to Manousha got you caught up, Nancy, because she

24:30

was like, okay, so this is what you got to do.

24:33

First of all, Mark Zuckerberg is

24:36

going to get started

24:38

way too far away from the $5,000. It

24:42

just all sounds like, you

24:44

remember Die Hard 3 where he

24:47

had to go from like mailbox

24:49

to fucking phone booth. It's

24:52

just too many steps. Just give me my goddamn

24:54

money. What are we talking about?

24:57

No, you got to go to the mailbox and then

24:59

you got to go to the phone booth and then the fire

25:01

station. Yes, that's too much

25:04

shit. Just give me my cash.

25:06

You said $5,000. Give

25:08

me the ratio of whatever my $25 is going

25:11

to get me and let's move on. But

25:15

so guys, this is another reminder that

25:17

we are this desperate. Look, the universe

25:19

came through for Nancy. Cash app blocked

25:22

it. God actually cash app the devil,

25:24

the devil blocked it. The

25:26

devil said, hey, this too much.

25:29

I'm on. I'm off.

25:31

All right. As for me, I'm out.

25:33

I can't do it. That's too much. The

25:35

devil said 2020 has been a great year for me. I

25:39

really came up. We're talking about

25:41

this like evil and souls.

25:44

You know, we're, we're in the red. We're in

25:46

the red. I don't need it. I don't need

25:48

this one. You know what, Nancy? You could chill.

25:50

I'll be right back for you real quick. And

25:52

Nancy said, no, no, I've

25:54

got a better app. I've got a different

25:57

way of contacting you that won't block my

25:59

blessing. Please. The

26:01

devil said $25 ain't even enough for them

26:03

to bother. They said, we don't get out of

26:06

bed for less than 10,000 days. We're

26:09

giving brown people hysterectomies in Texas. You

26:11

think I give a damn about your

26:13

$25 Nancy, but no, Nancy

26:16

was like, you're going to take my 25. Yet

26:19

she persisted. She said, like, honestly, Nancy, I don't

26:21

know if you got scammed. It seems like you

26:23

were like, no, who wants to take me? Oh,

26:29

it's like you went outside and were like, I'm trying

26:31

to get jumped. I don't care

26:33

who I don't care where

26:36

somebody jumped me, please. Beat

26:39

me up. Yeah. Um,

26:42

Nancy, you really beyond asking for this,

26:44

you got a bag for it. Yeah.

26:46

So, um, and that's okay.

26:49

That's okay. I hope you felt something because

26:51

right now in quarantine, it's just good to

26:53

feel. You know, I had

26:56

some flies get into my house

26:58

because I left. This

27:02

is terrifying. I didn't know this. I didn't know this

27:04

was this kind of podcast, but go ahead. Bottleneck

27:10

flies and, um, or bottle

27:12

flies and one got into my house and then

27:15

I like left town for the weekend and it

27:17

like went in my trash. It wasn't a lot

27:19

of trash. Why less it? Cause it was just

27:21

like, I think there was like a couple of

27:24

things on the bottom. It like fucking made a

27:26

home in there and then had all these fly

27:28

kids. And I woke up

27:30

and I didn't know where these flies were coming

27:32

from and I keep my house clean, so I'm

27:34

like bleaching everything again. I'm like, where the fuck

27:36

are these flies coming from? Then I had to

27:38

murder them all. And so,

27:41

yeah, yeah. Gang

27:44

gang. So I had this like, um,

27:46

eco-friendly like spray that didn't harm me,

27:48

but killed these flies so quick. And

27:50

when I tell you at a certain

27:52

point, I was having fun. I

27:55

felt like I was playing call of duty and

27:58

when they were all dead, I. I was like, damn,

28:01

now what do I do? Yeah. You

28:03

know, that was the thing, as a

28:05

kid, I remember they used to always

28:07

say, video games are addictive. And then

28:09

people like fought back and they were

28:11

like, it's not addictive. The culture

28:14

in America creates a system where we

28:16

would believe in violence or lean towards

28:18

violence. Video games are not the root

28:20

of it. But a part of me

28:22

was always like, I don't

28:24

know, dawg, beating up prostitutes on Grand

28:26

Theft Auto. That's just

28:28

pretty addictive. It's pretty, I

28:30

don't know. I'm not saying it's the

28:33

source, but it ain't not a part of

28:35

it. Right, I wish that they would

28:37

take that out, especially because it's just the stigma

28:39

of sex work. Like I really hate that that's

28:41

still a feature. Now I can't say that when

28:43

I was 11, I wasn't doing it.

28:46

And then an 11 year old should not

28:48

be doing that. No, and that's what I

28:50

mean. I don't know, it certainly isn't a

28:52

good thing. And I don't know that it's

28:54

like the core of our problems as a

28:57

society, but it definitely ain't helping. You're not

28:59

creating a positive, healthy narrative around this thing,

29:01

much in the way that you murdering these

29:03

flies didn't make you a more peaceful person

29:06

out in the world. It may not have

29:08

made you a monster. You're probably not gonna

29:10

kill a human being, but you thought about

29:12

it. Now that some flies are dead, you've

29:15

considered it. Look, I did

29:17

consider like, I don't know, letting a fly

29:19

in just to kill it. Yeah, come

29:21

on in, big dog. Look,

29:25

I tried to let some freak. I was

29:27

trying to take them fries to freedom. I

29:30

was the hairy tummy of the fly. Okay. And

29:33

I just wanna be canceled. And

29:38

then it just didn't work out, because if

29:41

we're allowed to come back for the rest

29:43

of this podcast, we'll be right

29:45

back after some non-scam advertisements. Scam!

29:50

Ooh, do you feel that in the

29:53

air? Yes, that is

29:55

summertime. It's in the

29:57

breeze. It's in the trees.

30:00

Y'all know when the sky comes out,

30:02

the thighs come out. And as the

30:04

weather gets hotter, it's time to say

30:06

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32:44

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32:46

Historic Hoodwinks and this is where

32:48

I will regale Langston with a

32:50

famous or infamous or

32:52

old-school con or hoodwink and just get his

32:55

opinions all throughout. And I feel like Langston,

32:57

like you might be a little clairvoyant. Okay.

32:59

Because earlier when you said you'd be pretending

33:01

to be Creole or that you would like

33:04

to. I'd like to. I don't have that

33:06

much confidence but I would like to and

33:08

someday I'll earn that chance. I

33:11

think this is your time. But speaking

33:13

of pretending to be people, today

33:16

we're talking about Jessica Ann Krug,

33:18

the former associate professor at George

33:21

Washington University who claimed various identities

33:23

within blackness to further her career

33:25

as a black historian even though

33:28

she is a white

33:30

person. I've

33:33

heard about this lady. I'm excited. They're

33:35

calling her Poser Parks. The

33:40

internet always finds a new way

33:43

to make things exciting. And this

33:45

could have been a very hurtful

33:47

story that devastated a lot of

33:49

people because black people were overlooked

33:52

for work. This lady was able to

33:54

scam her way into a lot of

33:56

positions of power and success. But then

33:58

we get some funny... shit on the

34:00

back end so I don't know maybe it's worth it.

34:02

Let her shine. Right. Times are

34:04

dark. If you're giving black people a laugh,

34:06

I mean okay yeah you stole jobs from

34:08

us but we also got that laugh. I

34:10

don't know. Hey you're silly Billie. Keep going.

34:12

I love it. So we

34:15

actually have footage of her as

34:17

Jess La Bomba-Leria, a self-given

34:20

nickname with at best a petty

34:22

accent doing a Zoom in the

34:24

New York City Council testimony as

34:27

she speaks about gentrification and shouts

34:29

out her black and brown siblings.

34:33

Oh and there's some fun comments so

34:35

maybe we'll see some of those too. I

34:37

love it. Okay let's look at this. Oh

34:40

y'all gonna hear it. That's all you need anyway.

34:42

I'm Jess La Bomba-Leria. I'm here in Navario,

34:44

East Harlem. You probably know this neighborhood because

34:47

the whole sign of Melissa Marci-Verido who used

34:49

to be the speaker of your city council

34:52

sold my fucking neighborhood to developers in

34:54

gentrification. So I got a couple

34:56

things to say and when y'all come on and tell

34:58

me my time stops, fuck out of here. It's been

35:00

seven hours. Not only did I have to listen to

35:03

these cops and not just the

35:05

cops but to be honest with y'all city

35:07

council members, you posing like you're opposing them

35:09

for your down bites, for your social media,

35:12

for your re-election campaigns, fuck out

35:14

of here. You've been supporting the cops in the

35:16

pandemic when the MTA was strapped and you supported

35:18

putting more cops on the MTA, fuck out of

35:20

here. We know where you're coming from and we

35:22

know what these little photo opportunities bullshit.

35:25

I also want to call out all the

35:27

white New Yorkers who waited four hours with

35:29

us to be able to speak

35:32

and that did not yield their time to

35:34

black and brown addiction in New

35:36

York. I thought cops was here to

35:38

protect us but I guess they're not.

35:41

Boy, you think that this sort

35:43

of shocking, interesting thing is the move. Okay,

35:46

so a couple of things. Okay, I just sit up.

35:48

I just sit up. Oh

35:51

my God. I

35:53

love a Bronx girl being kid's bop.

35:55

That was great. She's just kid's bop

35:57

in the Bronx. It's amazing. Fuck

36:00

outta here. Fuck outta here. You know

36:02

she just sat at home in her mirror like,

36:04

fuck outta here. Fuck outta here. Boy. Boy.

36:08

Boy. Boy. Boy.

36:10

No, that's flavor of love. Oh

36:13

man, that's great. Good for her. Because

36:16

she really thought she was saying something. Like

36:18

she felt like, oh okay, I'm about to

36:20

sauce on y'all real quick by putting on

36:22

this weird accent and on a roof

36:24

for some reason. You didn't think she was saying? You didn't have to take

36:26

your headphones off for a moment there and just let the

36:28

steam come out from just like the fire. I mean

36:30

I ain't gonna say she wasn't spitting. It

36:32

just, it wasn't a spit I like. But

36:34

you know, she was going off I guess.

36:39

Here's the thing, the accent is so bad. It's

36:42

not even close to good. And like

36:45

I guess white people would look at that

36:47

and be like, I don't know, I guess

36:49

that's probably an accent from

36:51

somewhere. Well here's the thing that I

36:53

think all of these people figure out

36:55

in a, that ends up being very

36:58

effective is that black people would have

37:00

called her out if she went and

37:02

worked at a bank, right? If she

37:04

went and did some like regular like

37:06

capitalist anti-black shit, but instead her Rachel

37:09

Dolezal, what they figure out is I'm

37:12

going to put myself in a position

37:14

where I'm aligning with black and brown

37:16

people. So when they hear my bullshit

37:18

accent, they're already like rooting for me

37:21

so they don't really want to call it

37:23

out. It's like they were on the same team.

37:25

So I know you, you sound weird

37:27

to me lady, but fuck. All right.

37:29

Just keep talking. I don't

37:31

know. I think that's it. Like

37:33

that's what we talked about with Sean King where it's

37:36

like we, we are trying to get to freedom. So

37:38

nobody's trying to really interrupt the freedom trying to be

37:40

like, hold on. Does everybody got their tickets? Like,

37:42

you know what I mean? Like, we're kind of like,

37:44

if you snuck on here, but you like on the

37:46

train to freedom, we like to ride. Like

37:49

that's fine. Right. You,

37:51

you know the words to the black

37:53

birthday song. All right, man. Keep, keep singing

37:56

it. I don't know. It ain't how

37:58

I like to sing it, but go ahead. Like,

38:00

come on, boy. I

38:05

love this so much, but this is when she was

38:07

just to love with Malera, which

38:09

I think like you said, if you were ever going

38:12

to like pretend to be another race, it

38:14

might be Creole. Mine would definitely be

38:16

like Afro-Cuan. I was

38:19

definitely, yo a la payon. Okay,

38:21

I got enough key phrases. I'll be

38:24

like, ya tusares. You know, like, they'd

38:26

be like, where are you from?

38:28

I'm like, my father is from Cuba. Hey, there you

38:30

go. So that's Cuba. You know what

38:32

I mean? Like, I could get pretty close to getting

38:34

away with that. You know what I mean? I saw

38:36

guys. Anyways. You're skipping over that

38:39

B in a way that they like. You know

38:41

what I mean? You go to that bitch. They

38:43

don't call it the B, they call it the bitch. Yeah, you

38:45

got it. I used to live in Miami. Okay. And

38:47

I'm studying in the shadows. I

38:51

was sitting outside of houses just listening

38:53

to Cubans, gaining knowledge.

38:56

And that's very easy in Miami because everybody in Miami

38:58

loves to, at least when I was a kid, they

39:01

put their flags up places. So it was very

39:03

easy to spot a Puerto Rican flag and just

39:05

like go listen now. Like that was

39:07

not hard. Shout

39:10

out to anybody in Miami who ever had one of those

39:12

necklaces. It's like a little boy holding a flag. Everyone

39:14

used to have them in school when I was 13 and

39:17

like there was like Jamaican ones, one from

39:19

Trinidad, one from Puerto Rico. And I didn't

39:22

have one. So people

39:24

would always ask me like where I was from and

39:26

I was like, Oh, I'm from Texas. They're like, no,

39:28

but where are you from? And I was like, Texas?

39:30

They're like, no, like where are you from? Like what

39:32

country? I was like, Western

39:34

Africa. You know what's

39:37

sad? I would guess is

39:39

what you're describing is the best that

39:41

Florida has to offer. That

39:45

Miami is the

39:47

best thing in Florida. And that's all

39:49

they had was necklaces with flags on

39:51

them as identifiers. Listen, I

39:53

love it. You guys, if you know your culture, if

39:55

you're lucky enough to know exactly where you come from,

39:57

like you got a flag. Like I got a flag.

40:00

with a fist on it but that ain't really don't

40:02

give me like a geolocation. I

40:04

got a quest love pen is that where I'm

40:06

from? From uh Philadelphia

40:08

I think wherever quest love is

40:11

from. Y'all

40:14

know the motherland off of um

40:16

African street. That's

40:18

where I'm from. So so

40:21

just love Ombarara uh does

40:23

this crazy accent um she

40:25

ended up confessing this whole

40:27

thing right um by

40:30

publishing on a platform medium a

40:32

few days after some people made

40:34

waves uh like Adele by sporting

40:37

bantu knots and a Jamaican flag

40:39

bikini at carnival. I

40:41

didn't think that was bad. The Jamaicans told me that

40:43

they like it and I was like if y'all like

40:45

it I love it. I I think

40:48

the real bad person in that

40:50

Adele story is the girl who

40:52

posted that picture like

40:54

who did it no but you know

40:56

what I mean like Adele posted it

40:58

but there was somebody who took the

41:00

picture knowing Adele was like being set

41:03

up to look dumb and it's like

41:05

she was having fun with her homies

41:07

she was having a good time dancing

41:09

doing Jamaican shit whatever that was and

41:11

her friend was like Adele we should

41:13

capture this moment and the bitch don't

41:15

even like taking pictures like that she

41:17

don't be posting that often and so

41:19

then she got caught up in like a

41:21

bad look when in fact it was just

41:23

like oh be cool like just it's

41:26

Beyonce shit like yeah let her have

41:28

her bantu knots in peace but it's

41:30

like being quiet that's that's

41:32

what she's supposed to be so

41:34

silly yeah I think you're

41:36

right it does feel like a setup a little bit you

41:39

know if Adele want to roll pom the deep you know

41:41

then we got to let her

41:43

do that I'm not mad at it um

41:47

so crew post that came kind of out of

41:49

nowhere to us but I'll let you know how

41:51

it ended up starting uh was

41:53

to escalating a degree over my adult

41:55

life I have eschewed my lived experience

41:58

as a white jewish child in

42:00

a suburban Kansas City neighborhood under

42:02

various assumed identities with blackness that

42:05

I had no right to claim.

42:07

First, North African blackness, then

42:10

US rooted blackness,

42:12

then Caribbean rooted Bronx

42:15

blackness. Jesus Christ. She went

42:17

on the world tour. That's

42:20

nuts. That's some full

42:22

Drake shit. That's wild. Yeah. She

42:27

went from regular old Canada Drake

42:29

to London Drake, to Caribbean

42:31

Drake. That's fucking nuts.

42:33

Right. And not a hit song in

42:35

there. And not a hit song in there,

42:37

Jessica. You could at least give it some bops. At

42:39

least when Drake's like, I take

42:42

it all for granted. Oh, I'm too good

42:44

to you. We get a hit. We get Rihanna

42:46

on it. Except for when he went and

42:48

tried to do that London rap.

42:50

I hate UK rap. I'm sorry if you're a

42:52

UK listener, but that's, Skibbity pop pop,

42:54

me got some tea. Me go inside my

42:56

friend's three. I'm sorry, that's

42:59

the end of the week. I will say

43:01

that if what you're listening to says, Skibbity

43:03

pop pop, you're probably, I understand why you

43:05

don't like it. It doesn't

43:08

sound good to me either. It

43:10

all sounds like your man's not hot to me. They're

43:14

like, pull up with the Willy, before we

43:16

get out with the pitta-pitta-lait. I don't mind

43:18

British rap until British rap

43:21

starts talking like

43:24

gangster shit. And then I

43:26

can't do it. And I'm sure y'all

43:28

are mean and tough and murder people

43:31

and all that, but you sound silly

43:33

to me. So just talk about having

43:35

sex with girls and I'll make peace

43:37

with your British rap or whatever this

43:40

is. Yeah,

43:42

you can talk about activism. We

43:44

would love, give us some

43:46

Craig David. Talk about soccer. Y'all boys

43:48

sound good in soccer, but

43:51

don't talk about murder. It sounds

43:53

goofy as fuck. I know real hard. That's

43:55

my favorite British rap song, Red Card. So

43:58

good. My

44:01

favorite! So.

44:03

Do this was like sorry yeah

44:05

I was presented to be every

44:07

badges that I'm every negroes needs

44:10

all in me and so from

44:12

smog. Failed to provide actual details

44:14

but she wrote the see assume

44:16

that mental health issues based in

44:18

her childhood trauma. Where the root cause

44:21

of her behavior? I

44:23

live with people. Blame them as a how

44:25

community for fucks sake Has a lot of

44:27

people have mental health issues and they're nice

44:29

people. And they don't go around pretending to

44:31

be identities and take up space that's not.

44:33

There's no that. In the even that

44:35

has literally nothing to do with

44:37

with like you couldn't Maybe maybe

44:40

maybe there's a claim that you

44:42

could say that like my mental

44:44

health had some sort of like.

44:47

Cause some version of an identity crisis

44:49

within me at certain points in my

44:52

life, but it didn't make you do

44:54

all that work to actually like. Take

44:56

one the new identity-when as you and

44:58

your sick that ain't got shit to

45:01

do with like any you know. Your

45:03

mental illness was like let's go

45:05

to the Queen collection at Wal

45:08

Mine. are our allies know you

45:10

did there now. On you the other

45:12

under versa you. Don't blame outside factors

45:14

for that. Ah so this out started

45:16

some of crude students were interviewed by

45:18

the cut the kids always as dragon

45:20

people newman and like can we might

45:23

as like a messy petty bit Scotland.

45:25

Them with her drama so i

45:27

guess we can't is hop but

45:29

ah we the so to transfer

45:31

him an upscale trash. So they

45:34

remember we're calling a

45:36

very heavy accent. And

45:39

affected brown girl cool and Rebecca

45:41

A mighty classes for nineteen Said

45:43

the things as he taught me

45:45

could have been done without this

45:47

whole minstrel show of a persona.

45:49

So maybe know that sleep at

45:51

the matter. But. Massoud.

45:54

Flipping the terrorists, Your. a

45:57

sincere really ac slater in our

45:59

glasses just like I

46:01

want to get down and honest with y'all.

46:04

Come on y'all. Let's dig deep boy. We're

46:07

like Sam y'all

46:11

trying to get to black liberation home

46:13

dog. Or not. Why are

46:15

you talking like this? It's also the emphasis

46:17

on everything that she knows is slang. Whenever

46:20

the slang word comes up, she's like, fuck

46:22

outta here. Yeah, she is. It's

46:24

music for her and she's trying to hit them

46:26

notes. She learned all of

46:29

this from Deaf Poetry Jam. I

46:31

miss Deaf Poetry Jam. People talking Cade

46:33

and Cis. Yeah, I love it.

46:36

I wanted to be on that show so bad. I

46:39

did too. I remember trying to write some poems.

46:41

I was trash, but I had the cadence down,

46:43

so I was like, I could probably fool somebody.

46:47

So before she had come out, her ratings on Rate My

46:49

Professor were a 2.6 out of 5. God

46:52

damn. That's low. And it included a reviewer

46:55

who rated her as awful and said, if

46:57

you ask her the history about World War

46:59

II, Nazi Germany, Cold War or something like

47:01

those, she will only answer you with the

47:04

history about the Caribbean and Africa.

47:06

Damn. So, okay, that's trash because

47:09

she's a Jewish lady and

47:11

she ain't even up on World War II.

47:13

Like, that's, you

47:16

should know that one. That one's

47:19

pretty important in Jewish

47:21

history. Like, culturally, that's like

47:23

us not knowing about slavery. Like, we

47:25

know quite a bit. Yeah,

47:28

I know when to tag in and tag out. That's

47:30

one that you should have been in on. But

47:33

she was like, look, I studied these

47:35

things. So like, how do you even

47:37

reroute something like that if someone's like,

47:40

so when the Blitzkrieg happened and you're

47:42

like, well, when you say Blitzkrieg, that

47:44

makes me think of Blitzkriegs.

47:48

No, what she did. What she did,

47:51

they said when the Blitzkrieg happened, she

47:53

went Blitzkrieg! And

47:56

then they were like, hey, that ain't

47:58

teaching, dog. You got it. Stop doing that.

48:00

Please stop. Pretend

48:03

shooting guns up in the air while

48:05

I'm talking to you about important stuff.

48:08

That's how she got all the way back to the

48:11

Caribbean culture. She just went, that's

48:18

beautiful. Oh goodness. So

48:21

another student rated her average and said,

48:23

Cruz class is definitely not your white

48:26

man's history class. You're

48:28

a white man. Yeah.

48:31

No, it's probably a white lady. They'd be

48:34

turning on their people. As

48:37

they should, as they should. White women, we need

48:39

you to, we need you to turn your backs

48:41

on your husbands. If they're voting Republican this year,

48:43

you need to cheat on them. Okay. We

48:46

can't count on them. They'd be acting up

48:48

on us too. They just, they like turning

48:50

on people. I know just anybody. Will

48:52

you get in the booth and nobody knows what you're

48:55

doing there, but you girl, and that's why

48:57

I want to change it so that at any

48:59

point some, a black lady could just rip open

49:01

the curtain and go, what you doing? What

49:04

you doing? Put it back, put it

49:06

back in there. And then you got to like

49:08

be held accountable that way. What

49:11

if black women have to do all the leg work? All

49:14

these extra black women at the polls. Oh yeah. They just work

49:16

in college management. They rip, they rip open

49:18

the curtain. That's all rip over the curtain

49:20

lady. Her name's Cheryl. She do good work.

49:24

Look, she don't tell you who to vote for. She

49:27

just say, what'd you doing? And look at you real

49:29

mean. And you know what to do. You know the

49:32

right choice. Right. She doesn't think you

49:34

can do what you know you should do anyway. Uh,

49:36

yes. That's my volunteer position at the polls. Don't

49:42

think that's illegal at all. Uh,

49:45

what are laws? So Krug

49:47

latched onto the myth of her

49:49

light skin presentation. According to

49:51

the junior professor during grad school, crew

49:54

called herself high yellow and

49:56

playfully derogatory term for fair African Americans.

50:00

that. Has anyone ever called you high yellow?

50:02

All my life. Yeah. You know what's devastating.

50:04

I was thinking about this the other day

50:06

is all these people

50:08

who come forward, these Jessica

50:10

Cruz, these Rachel Dolezal. I'm

50:13

the same goddamn skin color they be pretending to

50:15

be. And it hurts my

50:17

feelings every time. I've

50:20

been a black person my whole life.

50:22

And then I know that's

50:25

what scares me is maybe I'm not

50:27

supposed to be. Maybe I'm just, I

50:29

just think I am. And here I am

50:31

matching a falsifier

50:34

trickster. One

50:37

thing I will say too, that this

50:39

does play into colorism. Like I've noticed

50:41

that these types, at least with Dolezal

50:43

and Krug, they both have kind of

50:45

have a similar thing with their features,

50:47

but they have larger noses and like,

50:49

you know, some features that you see

50:51

on black women more readily and are

50:53

more appreciated on black women, because unfortunately

50:56

with Eurocentric beauty standards, like it's like

50:58

the thin pointy nose that all of

51:00

them, you know, white folks aspire to

51:02

have. But if you have a wider

51:04

nose and you're black, it's looked at

51:06

more as like favorable, especially if your skin

51:08

is fair. So they're pretending to be like

51:10

the type of woman that every white woman

51:12

is pretending to be right now. Anyway, Kim

51:14

Kardashian is pretending to be a light skinned

51:16

black woman. Carly Jenner is pretending to be a light skinned black

51:18

woman. They call it tanning. Yeah, that's called

51:20

light skin defying. There's a new

51:23

Chloe picture out where she looks

51:25

identical to like 2004 Beyonce,

51:29

because that's just what they've been shifting

51:31

their faces and bodies to try to

51:33

be for the past like decade. Yeah,

51:36

I think, I think so much

51:38

of it to your point is about rejection,

51:41

right? That like you felt in

51:43

some way rejected from the white

51:46

community from for the way

51:48

that you looked or the way that you felt

51:50

like you looked in the world. And so you

51:52

figured, all right, well, I'll just like rub some

51:54

tanner on and make myself a

51:56

part of a community that might appreciate it

51:58

more. Right. It's like more accepting,

52:00

even though obviously there's colorism within the black

52:02

community, you're putting yourself on the highest end

52:05

of the spectrum of colorism in a black

52:07

community. Like as a dark skinned black woman,

52:09

that's been my life my entire life. Oh,

52:11

you're pretty for a dark skinned girl. Oh,

52:13

you know, or like going places,

52:15

you see my biggest scam. I

52:17

used to hang out with like a bunch of

52:19

professional athletes all the time in college and they

52:21

would take the places and buy us stuff, whatever.

52:23

And because I had dark skin, no one ever

52:25

tried to like push up on me or try

52:27

to like have sex with me. And

52:30

just go places and be invisible and just

52:32

be like, yeah, charge us in a room. Wow.

52:36

It was the one time that colorism was a real benefit

52:39

because I was not trying to fuck with none of them.

52:42

So I was like, first of all,

52:44

it's beautiful, but it's also devastating. It's

52:46

like, no, you should have been sexually

52:50

made uncomfortable the same way all the light

52:52

skinned girls were. You're a pretty girl.

52:54

You should have, you deserve the same

52:57

opportunities to get a me to case

52:59

against some professional athlete, just like every

53:01

other light skin girl and white girl

53:04

that was hanging around in these areas.

53:06

Oh, I'm weak. This

53:09

episode is wild. Like

53:12

when I knew the moment I met you, I was like, this is going

53:14

to be crazy. And

53:17

I love it. So according

53:19

to the junior professor during grad school, we said that

53:21

she's calling us up high yellow. Afro

53:23

Latinx junior professor who worked in Krug's field

53:25

anonymously said that she had been following her

53:28

transformation for a while. This is what happened.

53:30

You got a hater on your tail. You

53:32

got a hater on your tail. It's

53:35

like catch me if you can. This is

53:37

this your Tom Hanks. He's coming for you.

53:39

Right. Like she's going to get you

53:41

being white at some point. So so

53:44

she noted that the first time that they

53:47

spoke, Krug would talk about us and we

53:49

and I would scratch my head like us.

54:00

You, you, I'm me. Right, when you

54:02

say it, we a lie. Oh, you speak French now?

54:04

Like, what? Shout

54:06

out to Drake. Yeah, Drizzy. You

54:08

never lets us down. He's the king

54:10

of appropriation, but he never lets us

54:12

down. Right, and he knows how far he

54:15

can take it, okay? He started out appropriating, like

54:17

they used to call him, this is so fucked

54:19

up, and this is not me saying anything negative

54:21

to the ADA community. But people used to call

54:23

him Wheelchair Jimmy. Yes, they did call him Wheelchair

54:25

Jimmy. For a long time because he played a role under

54:27

grassy that he was in a wheelchair, and it was like,

54:29

what is? So

54:32

she's got somebody on her tail who's like, why are you

54:34

saying us and we? And then she goes, oh, and

54:36

then I realized she meant black. So

54:39

Krug initially claimed to be born of an

54:41

immigrant mother from Algeria and a white father

54:43

of German descent. Whoa, she was cooking it

54:45

up. This is spicy. Back then, Krug talked

54:47

about herself as a product of a severe

54:49

family trauma. So this scholar and other Latinx

54:51

friends had doubts about Krug's claims, but didn't

54:54

want to push the subject because she was

54:56

like, no, but this is not trauma though.

54:59

Like, I don't like to talk about anything

55:01

about me factually because that's my traumatic experience.

55:03

Mama, I'm sick. We can't talk

55:05

about this no more. I can't.

55:08

Okay, the trauma is too much. Now send me the $50

55:10

so I can save you the 5,000. All

55:13

right. Like,

55:16

what? So she

55:19

said it came to a point when

55:21

they were just like, this is bullshit.

55:23

You know, I love that. And she

55:25

quietly broke all ties with Krug. Years

55:27

later, Krug came back into her life

55:29

with some mutual Facebook friends. Facebook messy

55:31

posted articles that Krug had written for

55:33

Race Bader, a platform whose focus was

55:35

race forward news and criticism. Krug later

55:37

wrote articles for Essence. Wow, come

55:39

on Essence. Y'all gotta do some

55:42

kind of fact checking. Some

55:44

kind of just have some, make them show

55:46

credentials at the door at least. Like, what

55:48

do you do? That's

55:51

our most elite black magazine.

55:53

Come on now. I

55:55

can see if she got into Jet. Like, if

55:57

she started writing for hair. Make

56:01

her the thick lady on page 57 of Jet, but like

56:03

you can't. Why

56:05

is she writing articles for

56:08

your publication? These

56:10

articles are now deleted, but included

56:13

pieces like, on Puerto Rico, blackness,

56:15

and being when nations aren't enough.

56:18

What does that even mean? And,

56:20

somos más inotene nos medo. Medio.

56:24

I don't know why I said that wrong. Somos más

56:26

inotio medio. What the

56:28

Puerto Rican uprising means

56:30

for black political imagination.

56:33

Wow. Wow. Listen,

56:35

she was a forward thinker. And

56:38

I bet those articles said a lot of important

56:41

things from that Jewish lady who was pretending to

56:43

be. So her old friend. Something

56:45

completely different than she is.

56:48

Her old friend, okay, so she also

56:50

wrote an essence that she was boricua,

56:53

apparently abandoning her Algerian roots in favor of

56:55

Spanish Harlem. So by the time she got

56:57

to essence, she was like, I'm boricua. Boricua,

57:00

morena. And they were like, you're

57:03

just singing a song. So

57:06

then her old friend, the anonymous junior

57:08

professor, responded saying, I just sat quietly

57:11

with it because who was going to

57:13

believe me? It is a wild

57:15

thing to try to come out and be like, this lady white. It's

57:19

weird. So this is how she got caught. We're wrapping

57:21

this all up. A moment of

57:23

synchronicity happened when revered Cuban American

57:26

author H.T. Carrillo died

57:28

and was revealed that he had

57:30

been a fraud too. Holy shit. All

57:33

the light skin coming down. God

57:36

damn. I might, I got to do

57:38

some research. I might be lying. I

57:40

don't know what I am no more.

57:42

I'm really unpacking a lot of shit

57:44

emotionally. Believing this was an identity crisis.

57:46

Hell yeah. So he

57:48

was originally born in Michigan,

57:51

not Cuba, to black American

57:53

parents with no Latino heritage.

57:55

So this would be my step. Holy shit. This

57:58

is right. Ah porque yora. I

58:00

don't know. They're like, Lacey, this whole time you were just from

58:02

Texas and black. No, no, no, no, no.

58:04

No, no, no, no. Okay, yo, that. Okay, you

58:06

hear me. You see how I

58:09

pronounced it? No. You heard that. I'm

58:13

rolling my R. If I'm rolling my R,

58:15

then I'm legit. What are we talking about?

58:18

If I'm saying fuck out of here. You

58:23

know what time it is. So this

58:26

guy comes out. The anonymous junior professor caught

58:28

the wave and hinted on Twitter that Carrillo

58:30

may not be who she may not be

58:32

the only person whose identity is fake. One

58:35

of the people to catch this text was

58:37

associate professor Afro diaspora studies at MS. Oh

58:39

my God, so many titles. Anyway, your Mara

58:41

caught this tweet and

58:44

with the help of another scholar Figaro

58:47

Vasquez was able to research crew's past

58:49

and ultimately found the truth of her

58:51

identity through the obituaries of crew's parents. Damn

58:53

y'all went into a suburbia so these words.

58:56

Y'all want to open. Oh my

58:58

God. They were proud of her. With

59:01

that information ready to share. Damn.

59:04

They said we were not trying to ruin her life.

59:06

We were really thinking as black Latino women, how do

59:08

we do this ethically? See, why are we like this?

59:10

Like even at the end of the day when wife

59:12

would be doing this so dirty, we'd be like, okay,

59:15

but what's the right thing to do? I

59:17

think on Twitter, I think

59:20

where she fucked up was

59:22

she changed identities too many times.

59:25

She could have gotten away with

59:27

this if it weren't obviously for

59:30

those damn kids, but also because

59:33

meddling kids, but I think she

59:35

also wanted to be

59:37

too many things too many times. You

59:40

just got to pick one, stay in

59:42

that, keep doing more research, lock

59:44

in. But she wanted, every

59:46

new wave she wanted to add to

59:49

her diaspora to her new voice and

59:51

it's like now people getting upset. You

59:53

upsetting some people. I

59:55

think she was also trying to find the easiest race to

59:57

pretend to be. She's like, okay, you know what? I don't

59:59

know why. Now I gotta know a whole bunch

1:00:01

of stuff about Africa. She's like, let me bring

1:00:03

it back to the Bronx. She was like, then

1:00:05

I just gotta be like a J-Lo amount. A

1:00:07

nigga from New York, that's a easy idea. You

1:00:11

just gotta be grumpy and talk

1:00:13

about trains. Ain't

1:00:15

no studying required.

1:00:18

Owned Tims. Some

1:00:21

door knocker earrings and talk about the

1:00:23

two train. You'll figure it out. Right,

1:00:26

she was like, this is much easier when I was

1:00:28

pretending to be from Algeria. People

1:00:31

were asking less questions. So they

1:00:34

tried to gather information from colleagues of

1:00:37

Crews, but Crew got tipped off because

1:00:39

within eight days of their first conversation

1:00:41

about Crews, the Medium post had drizzled

1:00:44

up. She was like, oh, y'all about

1:00:46

to come out. I'ma beat you to

1:00:48

the point. And I

1:00:50

love it. And she said in

1:00:53

her blog post, this is the final thoughts from

1:00:55

Ms. Crews. I am

1:00:57

not a culture butcher. I

1:00:59

am a culture leech. And

1:01:02

you should absolutely cancel me,

1:01:04

boy. And

1:01:06

I absolutely cancel myself.

1:01:09

Fuck outta here. Within

1:01:16

24 hours, the blog obviously blew

1:01:18

up and colleagues called for her

1:01:20

resignation. She was tenured. So

1:01:22

she was also in a very good spot where she was

1:01:24

never gonna be fired. She had

1:01:27

a tenure. She shortly after decided

1:01:29

to resign, but I'm sure now she gonna

1:01:31

get the Rachel Dozall doc. She'll get a

1:01:34

documentary. She probably got a cool parachute package.

1:01:36

Just legally they have to give her something

1:01:38

to walk away from whatever that is. Right,

1:01:41

technically what she did wasn't illegal. Or I

1:01:43

don't know if the university has policies that

1:01:45

are like, you can't tell us you're black when you're

1:01:47

not. Did they write that down?

1:01:49

Yeah, that's wild. That's like that air bud

1:01:51

shit. You know what I mean? There's

1:01:54

no rule that says that you

1:01:56

can't put a dog in

1:01:58

a basketball game. in the same way, there's

1:02:01

no rule that says that you can't be fake

1:02:03

black and apply for jobs in

1:02:06

African-American studies or Caribbean, whatever

1:02:08

she was doing. I

1:02:10

wanna support the whole fake black movement, but the

1:02:12

only way I can get behind it is if

1:02:14

I can be fake white. Like I told y'all

1:02:16

at some point I need to ascend into being

1:02:19

a white lady and then into a white man.

1:02:21

And I need everybody to believe it. And I

1:02:23

need to have all the privileges. So we can

1:02:25

work that out. Then God can

1:02:27

continue to be Langston's cousins. First

1:02:30

of all, how dare you? Second

1:02:32

of all, I'm cool

1:02:34

with you being a part of the

1:02:37

fake black movement, but you got to

1:02:39

deal with whatever the worst thing is

1:02:41

that happened to niggas that week at

1:02:43

the day that you joined. So if

1:02:45

somebody got shot, you gotta take some

1:02:47

bullets just to be a

1:02:49

part of, you gotta get jumped in basically

1:02:51

to whatever this black experience that you want

1:02:54

to have. The sad thing is once

1:02:56

you get jumped into the black experience, you just keep

1:02:59

getting jumped because that's the black experience. I

1:03:01

love that. Yeah, welcome, come on in.

1:03:06

I mean, the way I do. Listen,

1:03:09

the bottom of these shoes are fine. Take a

1:03:11

dip. All right, guys.

1:03:15

We will be right back for the end of the show. Robbery.

1:03:19

Do you have an unemployed roommate

1:03:22

at home? You know

1:03:24

what I'm talking about. Children. Yes, Whitney

1:03:26

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1:03:30

you wanna set your children up for

1:03:33

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1:03:35

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1:03:37

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1:03:39

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1:03:55

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1:03:57

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1:04:00

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1:04:02

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1:04:04

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1:05:05

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brought. All

1:05:35

right, and we're back. And this is the saddest

1:05:37

part of the show because this is where I

1:05:39

have to let nice and go, fam. You know

1:05:42

what I mean? Um, I can't even

1:05:44

do a bad one. You're killing it. It's

1:05:46

very good. Okay. Oh,

1:05:48

you know when y'all was posing? Okay,

1:05:51

anyway. You're posing the posers. Like

1:05:55

where is this accesses? I love it.

1:05:57

The flavor, the lack of flavor, giving

1:05:59

us nothing. Give us nothing,

1:06:01

Jessica. Yes. Yeah. I

1:06:03

love these all pretending to be Lowry's.

1:06:05

Let's do it. This is great. So

1:06:08

this is kind of sad,

1:06:10

but also kind of beautiful. There's

1:06:13

a place called Vernon,

1:06:15

Florida that was re nicknamed

1:06:18

nub city. No,

1:06:21

nub city. Okay. Because

1:06:23

it became and I don't I don't fuck with

1:06:25

that name. I'm not really like big on the

1:06:28

ableist shit. Like, you know, but there's

1:06:30

a reason that they're calling it that. So

1:06:32

nub city became responsible for the

1:06:34

panhandling claiming of two. I'm sorry.

1:06:37

Yeah. For the panhandle claiming

1:06:39

two thirds of all loss of limb

1:06:41

accidents in all of the United States

1:06:45

due to a widespread insurance scam

1:06:47

where individuals would get money for

1:06:49

cutting off a part of their body. Whoa.

1:06:53

Wait. So

1:06:55

you you telling me that these

1:06:57

people, everybody in this neighborhood, in

1:06:59

this city got tricked into cutting off

1:07:01

a part of the whole. They

1:07:04

get tricked. They were like, let's

1:07:06

do this. Oh, they collectively

1:07:08

were like, we about to get this

1:07:10

money. Cut them fingers off.

1:07:14

It's nub town. That's crazy. So

1:07:18

in the mid 20th century, the town

1:07:20

was in a deep economic struggle as

1:07:22

the sawmill, which provided many people's jobs

1:07:24

closed down. A sawmill is

1:07:26

like a lumber mill where they like

1:07:28

cut the logs into the lumber that

1:07:30

we use. It's unknown how the scam

1:07:32

officially started, but rumor has it that

1:07:34

someone legitimately lost a limb and got

1:07:36

a nice payout for their life insurance

1:07:38

policy. After word got out,

1:07:40

there's some nub club members saw

1:07:43

and hacked off their own limbs, though

1:07:45

most took an easier route with a

1:07:47

shotgun. Fuck me. How

1:07:49

is that easier? Well,

1:07:52

it's all you got it. You got to

1:07:54

keep cutting. You got to. Damn. They

1:07:57

have no big. I can't. That's.

1:08:00

Oh man, that's crazy. Cause also if

1:08:02

you hack wrong and you gotta keep going, oh,

1:08:04

I can't, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for this

1:08:06

image you guys. We're gonna push

1:08:08

through this. So the justifications

1:08:10

were sometimes completely absurd. This is what I

1:08:13

love. One man told the insurance company that

1:08:15

he shot his hand while aiming for a

1:08:17

hawk, okay? Another man

1:08:19

claimed that he shot his own foot because

1:08:21

he thought it was a squirrel. Oh,

1:08:24

right. You ain't never thought that foot

1:08:26

was a squirrel? Oh

1:08:28

no. And I had on some fuzzy slippers.

1:08:30

That motherfucker was moving. I shot, I don't

1:08:32

know. Here I am. Where's

1:08:34

my money? Right, here I am

1:08:36

with my duffel bag ready to get my

1:08:39

cash. Thanks so much. And

1:08:42

then the preferred technique was to lose an

1:08:44

arm and a leg on the opposite side

1:08:46

of the body so that you can still

1:08:48

use a crutch. I know. Wait,

1:08:51

so they're, hold on. They're taking the

1:08:53

good parts. I

1:08:55

thought they would like, you lose like a

1:08:58

finger. My mother's father,

1:09:00

who I never knew, but

1:09:02

apparently was a hell

1:09:04

of an alcoholic, the best. But

1:09:07

he- Number one. Number one,

1:09:09

he was the champ. He won. But

1:09:12

so he worked in Detroit.

1:09:14

He worked in one of the auto factories

1:09:16

and he lost his fingers to the point

1:09:18

where he basically just had like this. Like

1:09:21

this was all he had. I can't even remember

1:09:23

if it was just the pinky or just the

1:09:25

pointer, but everything else got cut off in

1:09:27

like a fucking thing. And he didn't

1:09:29

get any money and it made him

1:09:31

real sad. But the idea of taking

1:09:33

an entire limb, that's crazy.

1:09:36

And it's kind of a risk too, because

1:09:39

it's not like you know you're gonna get

1:09:41

the money. Like, I mean, whoever the last

1:09:43

person was in this scam, you know, like

1:09:45

they probably didn't get the bag. Or survive

1:09:48

it. Like you're literally, you're cutting off

1:09:50

a limb. You're gonna, you

1:09:52

might die. There's a high chance that you're

1:09:54

gonna die. Right, which just speaks

1:09:56

to the desperation in this country that's always

1:09:58

been here of like. making money and

1:10:01

when people are ready to be like you know what

1:10:03

this is how we get the bag that's like it's

1:10:05

so disheartening but at the same time none of these

1:10:07

people are gonna get caught and that's what I love

1:10:09

about this so the common payouts

1:10:12

were between five thousand and ten thousand

1:10:14

dollars which is it nothing

1:10:16

nothing I

1:10:19

thought you were gonna say a hundred thousand

1:10:21

dollars but this is like the 60s the

1:10:23

50s what so now you

1:10:25

can afford an old smoke deal get the fuck

1:10:33

out of here this is terrible so

1:10:37

one farmer claimed to have lost a foot and

1:10:39

was awarded nearly a million dollars even though there

1:10:41

was evidence that suggested some reputation so come on

1:10:43

now that foot that was worth it yeah I

1:10:45

think it's like what kind of policy you could

1:10:48

afford to take out because you've got to take

1:10:50

the policy on pay on it for a little

1:10:52

bit so the farmer probably had some coin it

1:10:56

was almost impossible to convict the scammers

1:10:58

of fraud because it was so difficult

1:11:01

to convince jury members that people would

1:11:03

willingly self amputate the scam ended in

1:11:05

the late 1960s because premium rates became

1:11:07

too high and insurers halted businesses in

1:11:09

the Florida panhandle all together there

1:11:12

was just like we're not even gonna ensure any of

1:11:14

you because we know what damn

1:11:16

so there are families in that same area

1:11:19

now who can't get insurance because their grandfather

1:11:21

was like I'm gonna shoot my foot off

1:11:23

and get paid real quick yes

1:11:26

and at one point somebody was trying to make

1:11:28

a documentary about it called

1:11:30

a nub city but when the guy

1:11:33

went there to start filming all of

1:11:35

the town's people like started beating him

1:11:37

up and suffer threatened him

1:11:41

they beat the shit out of him

1:11:43

with them nubs the way ain't telling

1:11:45

you goddamn thing here in

1:11:47

nub city so he did

1:11:50

end up not making a documentary about that

1:11:52

I love that good for

1:11:54

them they they listen they pulled

1:11:56

off a scam albeit not

1:11:58

a lot of money and And certainly

1:12:00

not a choice that I would have

1:12:02

made, but I respectfully, they made the

1:12:04

scam happen and they stayed loyal. They

1:12:06

were a town of down-ass bitches that

1:12:09

didn't turn on each other when it

1:12:11

came to somebody showing up and offering

1:12:13

like some chump change for a documentary

1:12:15

about what they had done. Right.

1:12:18

Because they were trying to sell out. That's how you know they're

1:12:20

true to the game. They were really about that life. And

1:12:23

I just want to give an update since we're talking about this.

1:12:25

The woman who saw it off her hand with a circular saw

1:12:27

for a $1.2 million insurance scam.

1:12:30

Unfortunately, she was sentenced to two years in jail.

1:12:34

That breaks my heart because I wanted

1:12:36

her to be free and

1:12:39

frolic and also $1.2 million. I

1:12:41

was about to say they took that money too, if she

1:12:43

went to jail for it. Yup.

1:12:46

So, you know, hate to see it, but I'm

1:12:48

glad to hear there's a whole town that robbed

1:12:50

the insurance industry for decades. So

1:12:52

yes. Good for y'all. Oh,

1:12:55

that reaches the conclusion of the show. Langston,

1:12:58

we always ask people where do you want

1:13:00

to be found? Anything you want to plug?

1:13:02

Oh, yeah. Do you want

1:13:04

people to participate in? Well, the

1:13:06

greatest scam of all time. Listen

1:13:08

to my podcast. It's

1:13:10

called My Mama Told Me. It's

1:13:12

about black conspiracy theories and black people

1:13:15

making up conspiracy theories and the ones

1:13:17

we grew up with. And it's very

1:13:19

funny. And Lacey is going

1:13:21

to be on an episode soon. Yes. It's

1:13:24

a great time. And you can follow me at

1:13:27

Langston Kerman on all platforms.

1:13:30

Nobody else has my name and nobody else would

1:13:32

want to. So it's easy. It's

1:13:35

a shit name. It's a great name.

1:13:38

No, it's fine. Yeah, that's it. All right. Wonderful.

1:13:41

As always, Scam got his

1:13:44

pod@gmail.com. Email us in

1:13:46

and snitch on your friends and family. Just

1:13:48

make sure that the scam is retired. And

1:13:51

if you want to follow me, you can follow me at

1:13:53

D.I.V.A. L.A. C.I.D. Valacey

1:13:55

on all platforms. You can follow Scam got us on all

1:13:58

platforms. Oh, yeah. I'm

1:14:00

gonna be on TV talking about scams

1:14:03

soon. November 4th, check out ABC's The

1:14:05

Con. I'm gonna be on there talking

1:14:07

about scams as an expert. What?

1:14:09

Uh, that's a scam in itself.

1:14:13

All right, y'all, convocation, sex

1:14:15

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