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Fraud Fridays: The Stealing Starlets w/ Matt Rogers

Fraud Fridays: The Stealing Starlets w/ Matt Rogers

Released Friday, 14th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Fraud Fridays: The Stealing Starlets w/ Matt Rogers

Fraud Fridays: The Stealing Starlets w/ Matt Rogers

Fraud Fridays: The Stealing Starlets w/ Matt Rogers

Fraud Fridays: The Stealing Starlets w/ Matt Rogers

Friday, 14th June 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Y'all, hormones, it's

0:03

impossible not to have them. There's. Over

0:05

one thousand hormone disruptors in our food

0:07

or water, the air that close the

0:10

skincare, the dryer sheets. everything child is

0:12

a scam to the hormones. Okay, plus

0:14

we have natural hormonal changes that our

0:17

bodies go through. Like what's going on

0:19

my body? like. I.

0:21

Am now in my thirties and mosque

0:23

in his acting like a teenager was

0:26

born on the hormones which is why

0:28

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0:33

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0:39

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0:42

I work hello jobs or on. Harmony

0:44

is really help me like regulate especially

0:46

like sleep and just relaxation and calming

0:48

down and not panicking as much. They've

0:51

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0:53

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0:55

into it and for a limited time,

0:57

you can get fifty percent off your

1:00

entire order at Hormone mammoth.com Just use

1:02

the code. got his at check. House

1:05

of the Dragon is back for season

1:07

two, and so is the

1:09

official Game of Thrones podcast. After the

1:12

death of the king, the realm is

1:14

split in two, and the royal line

1:16

of secession is called into question. Join

1:18

hosts Greta Johnson and Jason Concepcion as

1:21

they go behind the scenes with the

1:23

show's cast and crew to unpack who

1:25

deserves to sit on the Iron Throne.

1:28

Guests this season include a medieval consultant

1:30

who unpacks what it would really be

1:32

like to live in Westeros, the sound

1:34

designer responsible for the dragon sound effects,

1:36

showrunner Ryan Cundell, who speaks to the

1:39

mistakes both sides made in season one,

1:41

and who you should pay close attention

1:43

to in season two, along with some

1:45

of your favorite cast members. First,

1:48

Jason and Greta recap season one. Then

1:50

they'll unpack season two after each episode

1:52

airs on Max. Watch the HBO series,

1:55

House of the Dragon, streaming exclusively on

1:57

Max, and listen to the official Game

1:59

of Thrones podcast. on Max wherever you

2:01

get your podcasts. What's

2:04

poppin' Congregation? It's your girl Lacey Moseley,

2:06

AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome

2:09

to an episode of Fraud

2:11

Fridays, where we release

2:13

older episodes from the Scam

2:15

Goddess Vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we

2:17

bring back your favorite episodes from

2:20

behind the paywall. Enjoy

2:22

this episode from behind the paywall

2:24

and as always, stay schemin'. Scam!

2:29

Cod! Robbery

2:32

and fraud!

2:37

Scam! Cod!

2:40

Robbery and

2:42

fraud! Scam

2:44

Goddess! What's poppin'

2:46

Congregation? It's your girl Lacey Moseley,

2:48

AKA Scam Goddess, and we are

2:50

back for another installment of Scam

2:52

Goddess, the part that's all about

2:54

fraud, okay? Listen, some

2:56

general housekeeping. I know I

2:58

talk about scams. I know I talk about

3:01

how y'all can scam. Stop tryin' to scam

3:03

me. Okay, I'm tired. Stop taggin' me on

3:05

Instagram on these YouTube can start makin' condoms.

3:07

Makin' condoms? How can I start makin'

3:09

condoms from home? Please

3:12

stop taggin' me in this kind of stuff,

3:14

y'all. Please respect me. Respect me. Anyways,

3:16

guys, what am I? Say it with me. One

3:18

time, excited, yes, I'm very excited for today's test.

3:20

And I am actually extremely excited because this is

3:23

a Booked and Busy guest. I don't know how

3:25

we got him. I really feel like I scammed

3:27

him. Like, he don't even know he on the

3:29

show yet. They told him this was... They

3:33

told him he was gonna be on MTV and... Actually,

3:36

he probably wouldn't even do MTV, but... Guys,

3:39

today we have... Booked

3:42

and Busy because I say yes to everything, girl. Same.

3:46

Literally. Same. Today, guys, we have... We've

3:49

already heard him. We have a cultural

3:51

icon. You've seen him on Shrill. Norco...

3:53

Nor... Nor in Queens. I

3:55

can't even talk. He's the co-host of

3:57

the legendary podcast, Las Culturistas. I'm

4:00

the star and host of Hooked Dog on

4:02

HBO Max, which that show is fun as

4:04

hell. Guys, we have Matt Rogers. This

4:06

is very exciting for me as well.

4:08

I'm very happy to be here, Lacey.

4:10

Thank you. And I'm so,

4:12

I really identify because when the, we call

4:15

our podcast listeners the readers, when the students

4:17

become the teacher, it is

4:19

a moment. Like when they come to you

4:21

and are like, I didn't like this cultural

4:23

take you did, and they act like they

4:25

can tell you, you're out here trying

4:27

to scam Lacey? I

4:30

don't think so, honey, as we say. Right,

4:32

we're called the congregation. So the

4:35

congregation is part of

4:37

the church. Unbelievable, unbelievable. And they be out

4:39

here trying to steal from the collection plates.

4:41

And I'm like, y'all. Know your place,

4:43

you listen. And

4:47

they run me and they know they run me. So

4:49

I don't know what to do. Cause I've listened too

4:51

many times. So now they're like, no girl, we run

4:53

you. Like I remember when the hilarious Baldwin situation happened,

4:55

I got tagged so many times to learn, we want

4:57

the episode. And so I did the episode and they're

4:59

like, thanks girl, we really appreciate it. I

5:02

mean, the scam of the year,

5:04

I would imagine. Oh, what

5:06

a beautiful scam. I love that woman so

5:09

much. I could talk about her forever. Men,

5:11

canta, me esposa, buena. When she didn't know

5:13

how to say cucumber, How

5:15

you say? That was a moment. That was a

5:17

moment for me. Also, this is like the first year.

5:20

It's a good time for me to come on

5:22

the pod because this is the first year where I

5:24

had like, I'm usually a really bad shopper for

5:26

Christmas and like online shopping. I am too.

5:28

So, but this year, I don't know how

5:30

you feel, but I had the time, obviously

5:33

because of quarantine, the coronavirus pandemic. If

5:35

you're listening to this years in the future,

5:37

we are currently experiencing the pandemic.

5:40

So now I'm like sitting around having time to

5:42

like go on Etsy and like buy cute stuff

5:44

or whatever. The way I got

5:46

scammed on so many things I tried to buy.

5:48

Like when I'll go on there and try to

5:50

buy like cute ornaments and they show up and

5:52

they're laminated plastic, girl. That's

5:55

the issue with Etsy is like, sometimes it's like

5:57

an artist who's really good and it's a great

5:59

platform. Other times it's

6:02

robbery. It is

6:04

robbery. It is felony robbery. It

6:07

comes to the point where it's like, you really, I

6:09

really paid $9 for a

6:11

little laminated piece of plastic. And then you

6:13

could pay the same price for like an

6:15

artisanal like cool ass clock I have

6:17

up there. I'm like, come on. Oh, and a clock

6:19

is cool. It's roll the dice. At

6:21

sea, it's like, we gonna see, you know? You

6:24

might, come on, you gonna see when you get it

6:26

in the mail. We're gonna see it. And

6:29

then we're gonna judge that. Right. Don't

6:31

get too excited yet. You won't see.

6:33

You need to see. The hidden meaning of the name, we

6:35

see. And then I use Red Bubble too, which is like

6:38

more like Red Alert. Ooh, I

6:40

haven't seen, Red Bubble don't sound like someplace I

6:42

should be making purchases. I feel like my card

6:44

would turn off. You know I can't even pay

6:46

for OnlyFans. I tried to get to support one

6:49

of my homegirls who has OnlyFans and Bank of

6:51

America called me and was like, uh-uh girl. And

6:54

then it's been what? Because Bank of America was

6:56

saying, we're not letting you do OnlyFans. They

6:58

need to relax. They said they wouldn't let

7:00

me look at hot girl shit. I was

7:02

just trying to support my hot friends and

7:04

they said that not over here at Miss

7:06

America's banking institution FDIC. And I was like,

7:08

okay. No, girl, they need to step in.

7:10

Chase needs to call me and be like, hey,

7:13

you're paying for too much OnlyFans. Cause I be

7:15

spending money on OnlyFans. Like I have like three

7:17

or four people that I'm like a fan of.

7:19

OnlyFans has really become the moment this year. It

7:21

has. And I want to get on OnlyScams

7:24

where I- You

7:27

could literally start that. But maybe I

7:29

put on like a little teddy, a little lingerie,

7:32

a little lingerie for the girls. Why absolutely not?

7:34

Could you imagine? I

7:36

mean, listen, if you

7:38

got the goods, make the coin.

7:41

It's not even about that. It's about the

7:43

effort. That's why I be trying to pay

7:45

my homegirls. Cause like, bitch, you put in

7:48

on makeup, in the Ponderosa, you put in

7:50

on hair and clothes. Couldn't be

7:52

me. Like I'm working right now. Full

7:54

time, but they put the clothes on me and they put the hair

7:56

in the face on me. I don't do that shit. Yeah.

7:59

Well. Listen, we could always

8:01

like, I've been trying to think

8:03

like, let me learn how to like put myself

8:05

together in a new way for the Zoom. And

8:08

cause like you gotta show up for Zoom because of

8:10

what else are you showing up for. So it is

8:12

interesting, like this has been a time where like, usually

8:16

when I'm doing this, I don't have to look at myself. So I

8:18

feel like if I'm gonna have to look at myself for a while,

8:20

I might as well do the hair. I might as well put on

8:22

my little sweater that I bought. Like cause I

8:24

don't want to look at myself, I'm gonna mess. Yes,

8:28

so wait, Matt, get it to know you a little bit before we hop

8:30

in. Have you ever been

8:32

scammed? Have I ever

8:34

been scammed? I would say I went to NYU. Okay,

8:38

okay, we'll take that. So I think that

8:40

counts. I mean, honestly, like I

8:43

don't foresee a reality

8:46

where it made sense to pay over $200,000

8:49

to have a degree in television

8:51

writing. I do think

8:54

that some of these private universities are way

8:56

too expensive. And if I have one,

8:58

like, not my mission in life,

9:00

but something I want to do is just be

9:02

like, to kids that are in high school, be

9:05

like, you know you don't have to go to

9:07

college right after you graduate, right? Like take your

9:09

time, figure out what you want to do, because

9:11

I do think that the system of

9:13

like, well, you graduate high school and

9:16

then you're supposed to go to college, right?

9:18

Like that's such a common place thing where

9:20

it's like so many people that

9:22

I knew did not know what they wanted to

9:24

do when they were getting

9:26

ready to leave for school. And then even at

9:29

the end, I have close friends

9:31

that at the end of college, like had an education

9:33

major and realized they didn't want to be around kids.

9:36

Oh, yeah. It's like, that's something we

9:38

should have known. Meanwhile, it's like, you went

9:40

to Towson University, the whole thing. And so

9:42

meanwhile, now you have all this debt and

9:44

no career plan and no interest in the

9:46

degree that you have. So I do think

9:48

that like, just like, you

9:51

know, nationwide, like the way

9:53

that America does education

9:56

and then like college education needs to be

9:59

looked at. the way that they do in Europe where it's

10:01

like, I would wait tables with

10:03

girls who had come over from like Scotland

10:05

and Ireland and England because they, it was

10:07

part of their culture that they come over

10:09

here and like experience America for a while

10:11

or like do something else, like take a

10:13

gap right now. Experience America, the black girl.

10:15

I mean, at the time it didn't seem

10:17

so bad, Go hop

10:19

in the garbage real quick before you, just so

10:21

you can really accept your blessings. That's like when

10:23

you have to go and you know, do volunteer

10:26

work when you're forced to. I love doing volunteer

10:28

work, but like, when they're like, go see how

10:30

the other half works. Like yes,

10:32

Your Honor, I love doing volunteer work. Yes,

10:35

go pick up trash next to the side of

10:37

the road, AKA America, go there. This

10:39

was like back in like 2012, 13, where

10:42

we were still, we're having, the president was

10:44

Barack Obama and it was like, I guess

10:46

America was still aspirational. This is right before

10:48

the shit storm that was, or at least

10:50

like when it was finally revealed to everyone

10:53

that it was a shit storm Right,

10:55

because we knew, the girls, the black girls knew, but

10:58

I will say, we all

11:00

were living a little better in that time

11:02

when like the biggest scandal was like our

11:04

sexy ass president in a cream suit. So.

11:06

Exactly. Oh, can you remember when they wrote

11:08

him so hard for like his suit not

11:10

being the color they wanted? He was so

11:12

hot. Yeah, he was the hottest. I mean,

11:15

there's some pictures of him, I won't lie.

11:17

Like I've definitely Googled Barack Obama beach photos

11:19

and the man, it has it together. I mean,

11:22

like, it's just like, he is a gorgeous specimen

11:24

and Michelle looks better every day of her

11:26

life. When she showed up at

11:28

the inauguration, I was like, oof. Right, and

11:31

walked all over the girls, just said, put your

11:33

neck down here. Put it on the curb. Yeah,

11:35

there you go. RIP

11:37

all necks. Right, but I

11:39

get what you're saying though, of like the

11:41

culture of America very much being like, if

11:43

you don't go to college, you're a loser.

11:45

It's in our television. Like how many movies

11:47

are there about college? It's in our songs,

11:49

our music industry. Remember Asher Ross? I

11:52

went to college and I was naked. I can't even

11:54

remember how the song goes. But it was thought I

11:56

love college. And like, I remember that coming out when

11:58

I was in high school and I was like, ooh.

12:00

Ooh, I love college, I wanna go to college. And

12:02

it was propaganda. It was. Because all

12:04

they want is your money. It's so crazy how

12:06

all they want. And then they have the nerve

12:09

to email you later and be like, could you

12:11

make donations? It's like, no, I can't. When you

12:13

say later, I mean five minutes after the grudge,

12:15

I'm still in my motherfucking gown and they overhear

12:17

emailing me, talking about would you like to give

12:20

the girls, no. No,

12:22

never again. I just gave you tuition. It's like,

12:24

how about this? How about when I go back

12:26

to campus, I'd like to be able to use

12:28

the internet. You wanna talk about a donation? I'll

12:30

give you 20 bucks if you let me use

12:32

the internet one time on your campus after I

12:34

give you hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah,

12:36

they should always let you. Come on. Wi-Fi should

12:38

always be free when you're in that part of

12:40

town. Like, what? Wi-Fi should be like water. It

12:43

should be free. Right. And

12:45

I think we're gonna get there. And hopefully

12:47

if Elon Musk does one raggedy ass thing before

12:49

he moves to Mars, is that he can get

12:51

us some universal Wi-Fi with his

12:53

raggedy ass. Let's just get it together. But you can do

12:55

one thing for us positive. Right. Wait,

12:58

I have a question. Have

13:01

you gone back to the NYU campus since you graduated?

13:03

I mean, it's like in the city. Well,

13:05

so I live in LA now, but

13:08

I did live in New York up until

13:10

last year. So I will say the first

13:12

few years after I graduated, I would go

13:15

back just because like it was comfortable to

13:17

go back there and like, you know, grab

13:19

like rehearsal space or like a spot, a

13:21

quiet space to like do things. But I

13:23

will say they got to be real

13:26

stingy with letting

13:29

alumni in because your car needed to say

13:31

you were a current student. So for some

13:33

reason, like, they just got

13:35

really strict about people coming on, which is just

13:37

like insane. It's like, I went to the school

13:40

for four years. Like, let me come on and

13:42

like hang out here for a

13:44

second. But I don't know. Right.

13:46

With any other school, maybe I'd be like, yeah,

13:48

I get it. People graduated, they shouldn't move on.

13:50

But with NYU, it's like you asked for so

13:52

much. And it's also like, it's not easy to

13:55

find spots in the city to just, you know,

13:57

you know, get some shit done. So I think.

13:59

I could be a little chiller to their alumni,

14:01

but for the first couple of years, yeah, I

14:03

was hanging out there and then I bailed. Okay,

14:06

because I went back on my campus

14:08

and for homecoming, which I

14:10

went to University of Pittsburgh. I don't know why

14:12

me and my friends, we had this nostalgia for

14:14

Pitt because there was nothing to do there. When

14:17

I say nothing, I mean nothing. There was one

14:19

gay club that was like super rundown, but we

14:21

used to go there and it was cute. And

14:23

we had a few nightclubs that were trash. And, but

14:26

we like had such a good time because we were

14:28

such great friends. And we're like, let's go back. Pitt

14:30

was so fun. We got there. It

14:32

was cold. It was rainy. I went back to

14:34

the campus, which is absolutely gorgeous. And when I tell you,

14:36

I was so mad because they had updated so much shit

14:38

and it was looking cute as hell in that bitch. And

14:40

I was like, this is my money. I know the glow

14:43

of happiness after the fact always. This is

14:45

my money. Exactly. Y'all did this with my

14:47

money. Exactly. I went to school

14:49

on scholarship. I'm lying, but. But you know

14:51

what? I didn't have all that debt, but

14:53

because I was an RA. So

14:57

I was a resident assistant, like trying

14:59

to be, but I did get

15:01

fired from that drop. Wait,

15:04

how did you get fired? All you

15:06

gotta do is snitch on people. A

15:08

little bit. Girl, the realty is that they did

15:11

not fire me what they should have fired me for. They

15:13

fired me one day when I did. They fired me one

15:15

day when I didn't pick up the duty phone. I was

15:17

supposed to like, you know, be that bitch that was like,

15:19

had the phone and like trolled the halls and was like

15:21

trying to smell weed. I didn't give a fuck. I was

15:23

smoking weed at the residence. I was hooking up with the

15:25

residence. everything

15:28

was set up and consensual. And you're like the same

15:30

age. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I was an

15:32

upperclassman RA. So I was actually an

15:34

RA when I was a junior and there were some

15:36

seniors on my floor. And so what am I gonna

15:38

do? Like a 21 year old knocked

15:40

on the door of like some person that's older

15:43

than me, like smoking weed when I'm doing the

15:45

same thing and be like, hey, you can't do

15:47

that? No, like, let me get a hit. Like

15:49

that's the vibe. Like

15:52

I didn't care, but they didn't, they

15:54

fired me for a lame reason. And also

15:56

my bulletin boards were always whack. They were

15:58

always like, make a- a creative bulletin board.

16:01

And I was like, girl, I can't be

16:03

bothered to do this. God, that

16:05

was, that's a, it's a job for Lames. Cause

16:07

I remember the best, the best stories I had

16:09

were lame as shit, but they weren't about that

16:12

life. Before we get right, and we'll get into

16:14

it right after this. I

16:16

have to tell this story cause I've never told this

16:18

story. I had, I was bullied in college, which I

16:20

don't even call it bullying. Cause I'm just like that

16:23

bitch. How could they bully you? You're like fabulous. Like

16:25

what did they have to say? That's what it was

16:27

coming from me. So this girl basically who was, who

16:29

liked this guy that I was dating was mad that

16:31

we were seeing each other. And I didn't give a

16:33

fuck about this raggedy ass man. Fuck that raggedy ass

16:35

man and her. And she, so we

16:38

are already able to do these like bulletin boards that

16:40

were like, follow your dreams and

16:42

everyone write your dream on the bulletin board.

16:44

And somebody, and it was huge. She did

16:46

it with like butcher stock paper. It had

16:48

to have at least been like 10 to

16:51

12 feet long and like eight feet wide. I'm like, bitch,

16:53

why are you spending so much time on this? Girl, go

16:55

to class. So she

16:57

writes on this bulletin board in several places. Like

16:59

Lacey is a ho, Lacey is a bitch. And this

17:02

is my freshman year. And I don't know why, but

17:04

like, if you make me mad, it's just a whole

17:06

different person comes out. I told my RA, which I

17:08

was like, why am I even wasting my time talking

17:10

to this bitch? And

17:15

she was like, oh, well we can try to have

17:17

a mediation. I was like, mediation? Mediation, I didn't do

17:19

shit. I was telling you so you

17:21

could go take it down yourself respectfully, but you're not going

17:23

to do it. But I went and got some chairs. I

17:25

tore the whole fucking thing down from top

17:27

to bottom. And she was just standing there like,

17:30

her name was Colleen. Shout out to Colleen

17:33

with your wet gas. Yeah, well Colleen could

17:35

have made that situation a whole lot easier

17:37

for herself by not being like, oh, we

17:39

can have a mediation. It's like, no, take

17:42

the abusive graffiti down off the goddamn wall,

17:44

Colleen. She was like, no, but it took

17:46

me five hours to do this. That's

17:49

a shame. It took me two seconds to

17:52

pull down the slander. Right.

17:54

And then I said, oh, Colleen sent it to Joanne's

17:56

fabrics. Like, no, bitch, we're taking this down. Please.

17:58

And she's taking it. Little does she

18:00

know she's making it worse. It's like, you went

18:03

to Joanne's fabrics. Also, it's like when you probably

18:05

like, when you're a freshman,

18:07

it's like, you don't wanna be the person being like, hi,

18:09

I'm being bullied. Like it makes you feel like, lame.

18:13

Right, but also it wasn't good bullying. I was like, you're

18:15

gonna come up with some original insults. Like the other day

18:17

some mean person put on my Instagram, I looked like Tyreese

18:19

in a wig. I laughed at that, that was funny.

18:23

Also being like, you're a ho. It's like, if someone

18:26

said that about me, it's like, okay, yes, so I

18:28

know. I knew that.

18:32

Okay, and the sky is blue. What was I talking

18:34

about? At least reveal something to me. Let's start a

18:36

conversation that I can sort of examine something new about

18:38

my life. I know I'm a ho, I've been a

18:40

ho for centuries. Right, being observant bully, being introspective bully.

18:44

Exactly, exactly, exactly. So speaking of

18:46

bullying, not really, this is a

18:48

bad transition. Y'all know

18:51

what y'all get when y'all come over

18:53

here. So don't be extra surprised. So

18:55

guys, so this is a listener. So

18:57

this is our first segment. If you're new to the

18:59

show, what's poppin'? This is where we talk about what's

19:01

hot and fried. So we'll either warn a listener about

19:03

what's some hot fraud on the streets so you can

19:05

be prepared, or we'll get a letter

19:07

from you guys where you can snitch on your friends

19:10

and family. And if you'd like to do that, that's

19:12

scamgottisfod@gmail.com. Just make sure the scam is retired. We don't

19:14

wanna fuck up your bag. All right. So

19:18

this person says, hi, Scam Goddess. Please

19:20

call me Scarlet Fever. That's my derpy

19:23

name. Coming to the stage. Yes.

19:27

Scarlet Fever. Scarlet Fever. Love

19:31

it. I don't know, girl. Scarlet Fever was

19:33

its own pandemic. We can't be, I guess

19:36

we gon' call you that. Edgy.

19:38

Right, Scarlet Fever is cute now, but it

19:40

used to be killing the girls. Yeah, absolutely.

19:42

It was the first corona. So

19:45

in only three years, we're gonna see a drag queen

19:47

named Coronavirus. And I'm gonna be like, girl. You know

19:50

it. You know what's happening. Retire it. Retire it. So

19:53

Scarlet Corona. Why they

19:55

always gotta have girl names? We know a man

19:58

is doing this. This is ridiculous. Exactly. We

20:00

know it's a man that messed up. Right.

20:02

Scarlett and Corona sound like they go to brunch.

20:05

And they stay till 6 PM, and they throw

20:07

up in the street. And they're unfortunately the coolest

20:10

girls there that willing to go the hardest. Right.

20:13

Scarlett and the Corona is the reason next time you come to

20:15

the restaurant, they got drink tickets. They say, we can't give you

20:17

all bottomless no more. You bitches can't have it. Yeah, there's

20:19

a 75-minute table limit. Right.

20:23

Because of Scarlett and Corona. Because of the girls.

20:26

So Scarlett says, I used to work at

20:28

a fast casual restaurant. Let's call it Popular

20:30

Bread Company. Mm. OK. I'm

20:34

a metal. It's absolutely Panera bread. Right. I can

20:36

say it, but Scarlett people didn't want to. Right.

20:39

Scarlett people, we're going to keep your secret. But also, we're

20:41

going to tell everybody. The call out is

20:43

real. Right. So she

20:45

says, I was part time in school and just trying

20:47

to get enough money to go out on the weekends.

20:49

OK. Mm-hmm. Get your

20:51

shirts together. Not to work it so you can

20:54

get you a little cosmo on the

20:56

weekend. Yeah. Like, not to live, to

20:58

party. She

21:00

said, I worked just enough that I

21:02

could get a plastic bottle of that

21:04

Russian vodka. Yeah, just

21:06

a shift or two at Popular Bread Company. Love

21:09

it. So she said, I had been

21:11

there for a few weeks when I noticed that

21:13

the store managers would have morning meetings. And what

21:16

I assumed were like corporate managers or something. They

21:18

had boxes of stuff, stacks of paper, and were

21:20

set up on one of the bigger tables. So

21:23

one day, my manager came over to me after

21:25

one of the meetings and asked me if I

21:27

wanted to try this new protein drink. And

21:29

I thought it was a new menu item.

21:32

So I said, sure. And it tasted like

21:34

cardboard and dirt. But I had to pretend

21:36

I liked it since he was my boss.

21:38

Good old capitalism. He'd

21:41

be like, it made me throw up in my mouth. But

21:43

I was like, mmm, mmm, debt of capitalism. Already

21:45

we're seeing the conditioning that this employee went

21:48

through. So that's going to color the rest

21:50

of this. Right. Then he

21:52

told me about this nutrition wellness company

21:54

he works for on the side and how

21:56

great their products were. This protein powder

21:58

would help you gain muscle. lose

22:00

weight, it could cure migraines,

22:03

hair loss, and intimacy

22:05

issues. So it's gonna make you

22:07

skinny, your head aches gonna go

22:09

away, your pussy gonna be on

22:11

that wap wap. Like what

22:13

is this guy doing? And

22:18

you're gonna be horny as shit.

22:20

Like what's this miracle product? You're

22:22

gonna be so hot and so horny. You're

22:25

gonna be hot, horny, ready to go, better

22:27

educated, you're gonna have a fuller hair, you're

22:30

gonna have a badass. Your skin's

22:32

gonna be clear. All

22:34

your shoes are gonna be lifted all of a sudden. Your

22:38

eyelashes will grow, OK? And

22:40

you're gonna have an assistant. Bitch,

22:44

your plants gonna live. All them plants

22:46

that die gonna live. Like how is

22:48

this product doing all these things? OK.

22:52

So he gives her this and

22:54

tells her about this miracle product, right? And

22:56

then she says, he was like, well,

22:58

hey, do you want to help me sell the powder? And

23:00

she said, obviously, I was stupid. I was making $8 an

23:03

hour. You're not stupid. When

23:05

you're making $8 an hour, of course,

23:07

you go sell protein powder scamp. I

23:09

would. Because it's

23:12

not enough money. That's

23:14

insane that that's a job that happens. Right,

23:17

it's so disgusting. So it's like, no,

23:19

girl, you weren't insane or stupid. You

23:21

were making a living. You were

23:23

being victimized by the system. Right.

23:27

Oh, so sad. I laugh, and

23:29

there's tears going down my eye. Like, I'm gonna get out.

23:31

If you'll cry, the American story.

23:35

The American story. Whenever

23:39

they say there's a movie that's the American story, it's

23:41

always some glamorous ass shit, like La La Land and shit.

23:43

And I'm like, that ain't what it's like over here.

23:45

Like The Blind Side or something. It's like,

23:47

yeah, for sure. I

23:50

just revisited that. It's so crazy that you

23:52

mentioned that. Can I tell you that there

23:54

is, if you guys play a

23:56

drinking game where every time there's a white savior, you

23:58

take a shot, bitch, you will. The blind

24:01

side is just a bunch of white people coming in

24:03

and being like, here's this black boy. He can't read

24:05

good. He's from the ghetto. This little white child will

24:07

teach him how to play football and also how to

24:10

read. And Sandra Bullock will

24:12

go to the ghetto and fight the ghettoians

24:14

for her new black son. Yeah, and

24:16

finally at the end, we'll see her cry

24:18

a single tear. It's like, okay. And then

24:20

she was given an Oscar. It's like that,

24:22

it's like the help is another one. All

24:25

these movies that are about like race relations that suddenly

24:27

at the end of the year, like Green Book, that

24:30

have tons of Oscar nominations. It's like always

24:32

be wary because this industry loves to pat

24:34

itself on the back for getting it like

24:36

40% right. All

24:39

the time. It's like the cast

24:42

was almost all black because they were slay.

24:44

Yeah, they were playing the help. Did

24:48

you see? They played it so good. Viola came

24:50

out like two years ago and she was like,

24:52

to be honest with you, she got an Oscar

24:54

nomination for that and she got her awards together

24:56

and everything like that and it was big for

24:58

her career, but I did not

25:01

enjoy playing that part and don't wanna be

25:03

playing that part. Honestly,

25:05

I get it. Cause there's that, you

25:07

know that meme that used to go around to that girl

25:09

drinking that soda or that kombucha where she be like, maybe.

25:13

Yeah. It's like, my face is

25:15

like, when I see like a new

25:17

slave movie coming out, it's like, oh, a slave sitcom.

25:19

What would Master do next? And then like, but then

25:21

when you see an audition for that show, you'd be

25:23

like, well, I guess this is my little Peter moment.

25:25

I guess I gotta go get whipped on so I

25:27

can get me an Oscar. I

25:30

can't, it's so crazy. I don't think I'd be

25:32

good at that though. They'd be whipping me out, be like, ouch. Ouch.

25:36

Cause then you have to think about how

25:38

you're acting it. It's like, is

25:40

this brutal enough for you people? It's

25:42

insane. Right, you gotta be crying

25:44

and sniffling and shit. I'm being like, ooh, how

25:46

many more? No,

25:49

my God. Like, get this bitch off the set.

25:54

Immediately. Unreal. So

25:56

back to what we were talking about. Yeah, I

25:59

remember, right? So cool. to eat powder

26:01

scam at Panera Bread. We love

26:03

the segue. See how? You

26:06

get it. Oh my god.

26:08

Slavery, capitalism. Of course. You get it. And

26:11

if we actually traced it back, how we got there, we'd

26:13

be like, what the hell? Yeah. And

26:15

we've said it on this show before. If you

26:17

work in any tipping industry, that's because of slavery.

26:19

So it's cool. Reconstruction came around,

26:21

and white people were like, we don't want to pay. Me

26:23

girls, we can get them for free. And they were like,

26:25

y'all pay them. And they work here, but we don't pay

26:27

them. So that's tipping. Yay. So

26:29

back to it. So $8 an hour, she said.

26:32

So that's when she decided she was going to

26:34

sell this magical dick

26:36

assistant hair regaining

26:39

protein cream. Magical

26:41

dick assistant. Oh my

26:43

god. What a dream title of an episode.

26:45

Oh, right? I know. That's

26:47

probably the title right there. Magical

26:49

dick assistant. All right. So

26:52

she starts slinging this powder. So how they're

26:55

doing this, which sounds like she's selling cocaine,

26:57

but she's slinging. Health

27:00

powder, guys. Although some would argue cocaine is

27:02

health powder. So

27:05

because my manager and I, along with some other

27:07

co-workers now, I'm

27:09

saying co-workers. She's always like, she's talking about cocaine.

27:11

She's like, my other co-workers. It

27:13

is certainly life giving. Right. Me

27:16

and the co-workers. Obsessed.

27:20

That makes you sound fun, like a 1920, like jazz time. Me

27:23

and the co-workers. Come on. All my coakers

27:26

are getting together for a night on the town. I

27:29

love it. We got our good clothes on. Right.

27:31

Our good clothes. We got our Sunday best

27:34

idea in the co-workers. Our Sunday best

27:36

for coke. Anyway. Yes.

27:38

So her and some of the other co-workers

27:40

would sell the protein powder in the store.

27:42

So they sell an empanera bread to customers

27:44

and keep the cash in a box under

27:47

the counter. My manager kept asking me to

27:49

get my friends involved, but I didn't want

27:51

to ask. I don't want to let them

27:53

in on my money. My

27:56

respecter. You didn't want your friends to get scammed.

27:58

She was just like, look, I ain't cutting this. I'm like, check, all

28:00

right, me and you. Scarlet Fever was like, I make

28:02

$8 an hour. I'm gonna get

28:05

this money together. Right, I'm not

28:07

mad at you, girl. So it says, eventually

28:09

my manager got fired because he really wasn't

28:11

supposed to be doing that, duh. Yeah, you're

28:13

not supposed to be like, hey, welcome to

28:15

McDonald's. You want some of our offenews? Hey,

28:19

by the way, cut Co-Knives. Like,

28:21

it's like, girl. Why?

28:25

Welcome to Chick-fil-A, have a blessed day.

28:27

And also Herbalife. I

28:30

happen to be here for a five piece. Right,

28:34

but since you're already here,

28:36

though, have you ever considered

28:38

Lululever leggings? What's

28:42

your bank? How

28:45

many sauces would you like? Also, how many

28:47

orders of leggings? Yeah. I

28:50

love it. So, he

28:52

got fired because he really wasn't supposed to be

28:54

doing that, duh. And I think

28:57

other people involved had to shut down

28:59

too because the protein powder just stopped

29:01

coming. Dang, the supplier got cut up.

29:03

And so, in hindsight, it's messed up to

29:06

sell fake medicine. But I'm also pretty sure

29:08

that dude stole a couple of my paychecks

29:10

before he got fired. So nobody wins. Anyway,

29:12

love the show. Sorry this is long. Stay

29:15

scammin'. Anyway,

29:18

love the show. Now

29:20

you stole your paychecks on the way out. Oh,

29:23

yeah, I mean, listen. He's a bad

29:25

guy. That's a mess. And also,

29:27

I feel like, you know, if you follow

29:29

that down the road, he could essentially, like, at

29:31

some point, like, he could have been asking his

29:33

employees to do some shady shit. Like,

29:35

that was not right. He

29:38

kept trying to get more people involved. I'm just

29:40

like, I don't, sir, I don't fuck with this.

29:43

I don't know. He was schemin'. Scarlett,

29:45

I fuck with you though. You absolutely should be

29:47

selling protein powder on the side. Like, people want

29:49

soup, salad, and breads, and then you give a

29:51

protein powder on the side. I love it. I

29:54

mean, that's the thing is it's like, when you say

29:56

protein powder, like, that is a dog whistle to a

29:58

lot of people. It's like, oh, get big

30:00

and strong. Like, I mean, whenever I am like,

30:03

I have a protein option. I'm always taking a protein option. Like

30:05

I always want to add more. Cause I, cause I have it

30:07

in my head that it's going to give me the body I

30:09

want. And it is like such

30:11

a, it's a buzzword.

30:14

It is. And so we're like, whenever you go

30:16

to any smoothie place, they have all the things

30:18

up there. They're like goji complex. I don't even

30:20

know what that does, but I'm like, put that

30:23

goji in there, put the goji in there and

30:25

also put the creatine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's going

30:27

to get my muscles back. Like, yeah. I've

30:30

never drank a smoothie and then was like, yeah,

30:32

this really improved my muscle function. Yeah. You know

30:34

what I liked about the hemp in this? How

30:36

I have more energy now. It's like, girl, no.

30:39

No, you don't. You like the strawberry taste. That's what you like.

30:42

Right. But we have to tell ourselves, tell yourself

30:44

whatever you need to tell yourself. Scam yourself. Yeah.

30:46

That's always, it's like, it's one of the best ways to

30:48

live. It is. And guys, on

30:50

that note, we're going to take a quick

30:52

break for some non-scam advertisements and we'll be

30:55

right back. Scams! Do

30:59

you have an unemployed roommate at home? You

31:01

know who I'm talking about. Children. Yes.

31:04

Whitney said they are our future. And

31:07

don't you want to invest in theirs? I know you

31:09

want to set your children up for success. Maybe you

31:11

want to save a little coin on private tutoring because

31:13

we know that inflation is high and

31:15

these wages are not getting higher. Okay.

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32:39

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32:41

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I haven't even looked at the jewelry yet.

32:45

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32:47

jewelry. I'm telling y'all, Quince, when you start

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33:36

And we are back and

33:39

Matt and I were having fun conversations

33:41

on the break. I ain't gonna tell

33:43

y'all. Talk about scams.

33:47

Yes, but we're back and it's time

33:49

for historic hoodwings. And this is when

33:51

I will regale Matt with a famous

33:53

crime caper, criminals, or maybe a ring

33:56

of criminals. Today we got a little

33:58

blang, blang, ring. Okay. and

34:00

go get his opinions all throughout. So

34:02

guys, today we're talking about, and I think

34:04

this is gonna resonate with you, Matt, it

34:07

resonated with me because the

34:09

scammer who I think is a bad guy, but

34:12

he originally moved to LA to do comedy.

34:15

Oh yeah, so he's a dreamer. Oh

34:19

gosh, I will say like, it takes a

34:22

lot to be like, ooh, I should be

34:24

on TV. It takes

34:26

a lot of self-determination, narcissism, a

34:28

lot of shenanigans in your own

34:30

brain. Right,

34:33

a little sprinkle of delusion, not too

34:35

much. No, just a sprinkle. Just

34:38

sprinkle the taste. A spoonful of delusion.

34:40

Right, but it's gotta be to taste. If you over sprinkle,

34:43

you're gonna be a bad way. So

34:48

this is called the Starlet Bandits.

34:50

So from 2008 to 2010, a group of sex workers and

34:53

an aspiring comedian who became their pimp robbed

34:56

several banks in the Los Angeles area. They

34:58

were known as the Starlet Bandits, which

35:01

I like that, that name is very LA. I'm

35:03

like, yes. Yeah, and so like, a

35:05

comedian is a good, would be

35:07

a good pimp. You have to imagine,

35:09

like sort of like, you know, if he was

35:11

a good comedian anyway, make people laugh, you always

35:14

make people feel at ease. After

35:17

you take your money and be cheap, you'd

35:19

be like, he takes jokes. A bad comedian would be

35:21

the worst pimp though. Just like, hey. Oh god. Then

35:24

everybody just has to laugh at your jokes because

35:27

you're either their pimp. Oh god, I'd be

35:29

tortured. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're

35:31

so funny. Here's my money

35:33

from last week. Love

35:36

ya. Like, yeah, that would be awful. I hope he was, but

35:38

he can't be that good if he didn't make it in, well,

35:41

no, because there's a lot of great comedians who don't make it

35:43

in comedy. Yeah, but. No,

35:47

maybe y'all just look, I'm sorry. I

35:50

ain't even gonna get you out of that. I was gonna get

35:52

you out of that for a second. No, I'm gonna give it

35:54

to you. I know some funny people who decided to. Who don't

35:56

really work, yeah. Yeah, but you know, they

35:58

got like, like, sweat a bit. and businesses and

36:00

stuff, you know they doing great. Exactly. Yeah,

36:03

so I feel like I just looked at your sweater

36:05

and said business, man, I don't know if that's a-

36:07

Is it giving you business? It's giving

36:10

me the business, it's amazing. It's so cute.

36:12

You know what the inspiration is? This is

36:14

very similar to the Chris Evans Knives Out

36:16

sweater. Oh my

36:18

God, it is! That's

36:20

what I wanted to look like. And I just

36:22

really remember that sweater because I love me some

36:24

Chris Evans. Oh, he looked absolutely, let's

36:27

just say that sweater was not wearing

36:29

him, he was wearing the sweater. That's

36:31

a wet tie, yes, his knives

36:34

were out. His knives were

36:36

in fact out. And mine

36:38

too. Yes,

36:40

I was like cut me daddy,

36:42

cut me. All right, so

36:44

that was our horny pullover and we're back. You

36:48

gotta have those. So Henry McElven grew

36:50

up in a middle-class family in Washington

36:52

DC. His father was a US Marshal

36:54

and his mother worked at the Pentagon.

36:56

So damn, those are scam professions. And

36:59

they were middle-class, I feel like they were making

37:01

dollars. Those are some really big jobs. I

37:04

feel like if you work at the Pentagon, everybody who works

37:06

there, even the janitor, gotta at least be making 100K. It's

37:08

too much going on in that bitch. It's the Pentagon,

37:11

you seem to be important figure

37:13

anyway. So he says it was like

37:15

the Cosby Show, that's how he grew up.

37:17

Okay, the Cosby Show, not Bill Cosby because

37:19

that's a whole different existence. That's a

37:21

different experience. Yeah, it's a bad one.

37:23

So for the Cosby Show, that's cute. So

37:26

his idol was Eddie Murphy, the most successful

37:28

confident black man around. Okay, I'll take that,

37:30

Eddie is popping. That's who he wanted to

37:32

be. But his parents wanted their only son

37:35

to follow their example. Go to college, maybe

37:37

start a business. Just like you were talking

37:39

about in our first segment, man. Look at

37:41

that, the scam of college. I

37:44

get it. So after high school, he

37:46

changed his name to Robert St. John

37:48

and moved to Hollywood to pursue standup

37:50

comedy. Yeah, the funniest name you could

37:53

find, Robert St. John. That sounds like a

37:55

goddamn soap opera actor. Right? Robert

37:57

St. John. I don't trust this person already. He

38:00

should've just stayed as Henry McElven. Then he could've been,

38:02

what's the short name for Henry? Ho-ho,

38:04

who the? Hank. Hank. Hank

38:07

McElven? Hank McElven?

38:09

He could've been Hank Mack. Hank Mack? Like

38:11

Bernie Mack. Ooh. Like Bernie Mack.

38:13

He played, he played. He had it right there. He didn't understand

38:15

what he needed to do. Right, and then he became Robert

38:18

St. John. I don't know about

38:20

that. Robert St. John? Yeah,

38:22

I don't, he feels like an insurance adjuster. Like the kind

38:24

of come to your house and tell you how long you

38:26

got to live and then they give you a policy ban on that.

38:29

I'm a feminist Robert St. John. Yeah, I don't like you

38:31

Robert. So he read a lot about

38:33

Richard Pryor and started to do open mics and

38:35

extra work. But it was harder than he thought.

38:38

Mm. It was harder than

38:40

you thought, boo. Yeah, what a shame.

38:44

That's the thing. People are like, oh influencers,

38:46

those fucking dog shit assholes. I'm like, do

38:48

you know how much work it takes to

38:50

be an influencer? Them bitches getting up every

38:52

day, coming up with content, beating they face,

38:55

filming for hours, editing. Could it be me?

38:57

Okay. It's a grind.

38:59

It's a serious grind. Yes. And

39:01

that's so funny. Like open mics were not

39:03

going well. Yeah, get ready for four more

39:05

years of this. Right, what you

39:07

mean? You thought you was just going to go to the first open

39:09

mic and they were like, you're a star. Yeah, you got

39:11

to stick it out. Maybe he didn't really want it.

39:14

Maybe he wanted to pivot to pimp earlier than we

39:16

did. What

39:18

a pivot. Yeah. So

39:21

it took him a year and a half to get his sack card.

39:23

The longest he had worked on anything. A year

39:26

and a half is not that long. It's not

39:28

a long time at all. It took me like

39:30

seven years. What are you talking about, bruh? He

39:32

struggled to get by working at Marshall's department store

39:35

before he settled on an easier way to make

39:37

money. He would sell drugs. I

39:41

mean, I feel like working at Marshall's was probably

39:43

very hard. It's cluttered in there. Probably a lot

39:45

of go backs. We got to hang everything everywhere.

39:47

Also like the kind of people that shop there are like,

39:50

like the kind of people that like are trying something on

39:52

and they throw it on the ground. That's how everything, like

39:54

I feel like every time I go into Marshall's, it's like,

39:56

everything is everywhere. Yep. And

39:58

I feel guilty because I'm. very influenced by my environment.

40:01

So if I go into place and it looked like

40:03

they don't care, I just be like, oh well, I

40:05

don't want this top. Just like I throw it in

40:07

the candy section. This is the rule of law here?

40:09

Exactly, it's like you got that halter top in the

40:11

fucking little like jewelry

40:13

aisle. I put it under some weights. Yeah,

40:16

they do have everything, it's so

40:18

funny. Right, they do. I

40:20

mean, one good thing about it is like, Marshall's

40:22

whole thing is like, you got a bargain hunt.

40:24

So they're not gonna organize shit. They're just like,

40:26

some shorts over here for the ladies. And it's

40:29

the Wild West. Shorts over here for everybody. Yeah,

40:31

sometimes I'll be wearing something and I won't even realize

40:33

it was from the women's section. I'll be like, but

40:35

it was in the men's section. Because

40:38

I put it there, because I didn't want it. A

40:40

hundred, a hundred, a hundred. So

40:43

St. John said, I have friends who did

40:45

drugs. Well, duh, you live in LA. And

40:47

they were like, you need to sell. Like

40:49

in Hollywood, people don't care how much it

40:52

costs. They just want it brought to them.

40:54

They want discretion, coke, weed, whatever. I was

40:56

that dude. I would bring you whatever you

40:58

wanted. I love how his friends were like,

41:01

you know, you have a real future in

41:03

this. Like you need to sell. Yeah,

41:05

that's so interesting. Also, I never know, like when

41:07

people are like, I didn't just sell weed. I'm like, but how

41:09

did you get all of it? Like who

41:11

was your dealer? Like I guess I don't understand

41:13

like how it all works. So there's like,

41:16

so you have like the cartel, you

41:18

know, like at the top. And

41:21

that could be, that's not, we always

41:23

say cartel, but it's not just cartel.

41:25

The mob has a huge like big,

41:27

big supply area. Like there's so many

41:29

different drug suppliers. So you have those

41:31

people who are basically like the Walmart.

41:34

They're getting the economies of scale. They're

41:36

getting it straight from, they're

41:38

probably making it, you know, in Columbia

41:40

or wherever. I just love Columbia. So

41:43

then you have like the middleman, like

41:45

distros. So those people like bring it out

41:47

to then the people who are like heading

41:49

the crime families or whatever. Then those people

41:51

give it to like the lieutenants. I'm probably

41:53

getting this wrong, but I

41:56

know I'm pretty close. And then those people, then

41:58

those people start getting it. and

42:00

getting it down to like the community. So then

42:02

that's how they get it. So it's like, you

42:04

never will go face to face with the person

42:06

who's like making the cocaine for you. You'll never

42:08

meet them. You never meet Walter White. No.

42:12

And you don't wanna meet Walter White. You don't,

42:15

he was a bad guy, but he was so

42:17

cool. He was, Heisenberg was

42:19

a look. Right, how do

42:21

you make meth cool? Meth

42:24

has never been the cool drug. You put on

42:26

a little top hat, get your mustache together, dress

42:28

in your all black and start talking like this.

42:31

Yes, cause like weed is like a cool

42:33

drug. Cocaine is like a cool drug. You'd

42:35

be like, you see it, it's sexy in

42:37

movies and stuff, but like meth and like

42:40

heroin and crack are

42:42

those drugs where a lot of them are heavily

42:44

stigmatized. But also it's like, if anybody was like,

42:46

yo, we got so much crack at the crib.

42:48

You trying to come over? I would never be

42:50

like, yeah, that sounds good. Maybe.

42:54

Right, yeah, of course. It's like

42:57

in the gay community, like meth is very normalized.

43:00

Yeah, meth is much bigger. Very, and

43:02

I've had friends that have accidentally done

43:04

meth because they thought it was weed

43:06

because of how casually it was presented.

43:09

So you really don't know, I mean.

43:11

No, yeah, meth is, that's a whole different thing. Shout

43:14

out to Ed Buck getting arrested, fuck you. That

43:17

was a pullover for me, a petty pullover.

43:20

Anyway, I'll do those all

43:22

the time. So anyways, so he was

43:24

like, I hooked up this one dude

43:27

in the industry and the rest was

43:29

history. So he was

43:31

still a struggling comedian telling unfunny jokes,

43:33

oh no, he was not funny, man.

43:35

You were right. You hate to hear it. Yeah,

43:38

but he didn't feel like he was financially struggling

43:40

anymore. So now he's like the drug dealer comedian.

43:42

So doing stand up one night, he met a

43:44

girl. We're gonna call her Ana

43:46

to protect her name, but she was 19 and

43:49

Ana is like such a, okay.

43:52

It's a professional woman's name, Ana.

43:55

This is no Ana. Right,

43:57

this is Ana. I have so many honors in my life that I

43:59

feel like that's. That's why I pronounce it that way. Cause

44:01

it's just, and I'm like, if y'all want to put

44:03

some stank on y'all name, if y'all want to put some seasoning on it,

44:05

go ahead. If I get

44:07

famous enough, I'm gonna start going by Le-Sai. Le-Sai.

44:11

See, you can't do much with Matt. I

44:13

could be going by Matthew, but I don't like the

44:15

few sound. The few sound really good. What about Matt-Hue?

44:18

Matt-Hue? Matthew? We'll decide later.

44:21

Hue of Matt, I don't know. Cute

44:24

for someone else. Look, Timothy

44:26

is doing the Timothy. So you'd

44:28

be Timothee. Timothee

44:31

Chalamet. That's what he should have

44:33

did. Timothee Chalamet. The

44:37

name is a party. It

44:40

is. It's always an

44:42

explanatory. Timothee Chalamet. Timothee

44:44

Chalamet. Right,

44:46

when Matt-Hue gave your COVID results, it's

44:49

like Timothy Chamblin. They're like, Timothy Chalamet,

44:51

it's positive. We're actually gonna have to

44:53

admit you to the positive. Wow, that

44:55

was fun to say. Okay, so the

44:57

results. Yeah, not good.

44:59

Prognosis is very negative. So

45:03

yes, I love that. So they

45:06

started dating. She says,

45:08

he's a very smart guy. He wanted

45:10

to be famous. After a while, Anna

45:12

started noting little lies. Once she found

45:14

an old ID in the name of

45:16

Henry McElven, he said it was fake.

45:18

It was a real name. When she was

45:21

20, she got pregnant and wanted to keep

45:23

the child. He broke up with her because

45:25

he was trying to get famous and didn't

45:27

wanna be tied down. Okay, if you break

45:29

up with somebody, y'all still got a baby

45:32

together though. They don't. And you gonna just tell the baby?

45:35

He's got a fake name and no responsibilities. We

45:37

don't know. And

45:39

he's not funny. Right, he said,

45:42

look, tell the baby that we broke up.

45:44

Like what? The baby don't care? The

45:46

red flags are falling from this guy. It's

45:50

raining red, not hallelujah.

45:52

So short after the breakup, he

45:54

was arrested. Why not? And

45:57

then it was that Anna realized her

45:59

baby. Lava was a pimp. After

46:03

his release from jail, he was back to

46:05

pimping. He pursued it as though he was

46:07

making up for lost time. So

46:10

then he was like pimping extra hard. He

46:13

was the grind, he

46:15

took his open mic grind and

46:17

said, nevermind, I'm gonna actually dig in

46:19

on the illegal stuff I've been doing.

46:22

Right, this is my calling. You know, some

46:24

people's calling is crime. These crimes I don't

46:26

really love because like pimps are so unnecessary

46:28

in sex work. So like fuck a pimp,

46:30

but you know. Cut out the middle man.

46:32

Right, the middle man of what? Especially

46:35

because pimps usually be causing you more harm

46:37

than protecting you from danger, like get out

46:39

of here. Well, cause they have like a financial stake in

46:41

it. Yeah, I don't know, I don't like it. No, I don't

46:43

like it. Sex work is empowering

46:45

for women, women, men, but no pimp,

46:47

no pimps. So

46:49

pimps down, hose up. So,

46:52

but sex work had changed a while while

46:55

he was away. Now it was on Craig's

46:57

list. So he drew up an

46:59

escort ad and figured out how to make them

47:01

stay at the top of the queue. When people

47:03

called, he would pretend to be a woman. How

47:05

does that work? Hello. Well,

47:08

I mean, knowing this clown so far, how he was like, hi,

47:10

I'm Marissa.

47:13

Just like, okay. I'm about to

47:15

go meet Marissa. She sound like Elmo, but

47:17

it's whatever. It'll

47:20

probably be fine. I'm almost positive

47:22

Marissa is Elmo, but I'm

47:24

still gonna go to get my drugs. Listen,

47:27

I'm still going down to Sesame Street, okay? One

47:30

drugs, two drugs. Yes.

47:35

Honestly, Oscar the Grouch has just been around

47:37

the block. He's like, the reason I'm an

47:39

asshole is because I'm telling you to leave.

47:41

Right. I know it goes down on this street. We

47:44

should all listen to Oscar. I don't know why we just kept

47:46

kicking it. So he

47:49

was doing all this, right? So when people call, he put

47:51

on this fake voice to pretend to be a woman. Ana

47:53

caught on when she found condoms in his car. So to

47:55

keep her happy, he got her a $40,000 Lexus. He

47:58

also bought himself a $40,000 Lexus. $50,000 Escalade. And

48:01

so to on his annoyance, he bought a Camry

48:03

for his employees. So we got

48:06

a ride in the Camry and y'all get the Escalade

48:08

in the Lexus. I didn't realize this was

48:10

a lucrative business for him. Wow. Wow,

48:12

right? He was, I guess his big voice was

48:14

working. He was making it rain. It was pretty

48:16

good. So he tried to restart

48:18

his entertainment career. He bought a bunch of

48:20

cheap video equipment and started shooting a reality

48:23

show with the girls. He put

48:25

the footage on Myspace and he would

48:27

buy ads on Power 106 Hip Hop

48:29

Station. That led nowhere. Power

48:31

106. This is crazy. This

48:34

man. This is like being

48:36

an arsonist and buying a public access

48:38

channel to show yourself lighting a

48:40

house on fire. Matt, can you

48:43

believe that we haven't even gotten to the robberies? Ha

48:47

ha ha ha ha ha. I

48:49

forgot that's what the crux of

48:52

this was. Oh my God. My

48:54

man's is the hardest worker in crime.

48:56

If they gave out awards for just

48:58

like criminal activity, he's

49:00

like, he gotta be up there like number one. He is

49:02

the Sandra Bullock of this industry. And

49:04

this is his blindside moment. Constantly working.

49:07

He's the Samuel Jackson of crime.

49:09

Okay. It's wrong, but it's right. Right.

49:12

So the robberies began. It's not clear who thought up

49:14

the idea of robbing banks, but a woman named Danielle

49:17

de Rosier was the first of St. John's girls to

49:19

give it a try. On

49:21

March 25th, 2008, Danielle walked into Bank

49:23

of America on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood.

49:26

Yo, do you know how this Bank of America is,

49:28

right? Literally yes. I'm very clear

49:30

about where we're at right now. Yes.

49:32

She wore a baggy gray sweatshirt and

49:35

a large dark sunglasses. And

49:37

she held a flip phone to her left ear. She

49:39

did not put it down as she approached the counter.

49:41

Without saying a word, she slipped a note to the

49:43

teller and said, give me all the money in the

49:45

register quickly. Wow. Ooh,

49:48

like a movie. Like honestly, like she

49:50

was getting her star moment together. Yes.

49:52

I wonder if he scripted this. Like I wonder

49:54

if he's on the phone like, okay. Okay. Give

49:57

her the paper. I'm not really a screenwriter per se,

49:59

but I- I did do a little bit

50:01

of bad comedy, and I have some ideas about

50:04

how the narrative could play out.

50:06

Yes, of the robbery, you know what I

50:08

mean? So your motivation for this is money,

50:10

okay? So keep that in your head the

50:13

whole time. Just you're playing the action of

50:15

you wanna steal the money in this bank. Yes,

50:17

and then the urgency is coming from like

50:19

the police, right, so just like they're coming

50:22

at you. Who will come? Yeah. Who

50:26

will come, okay, so keep that in the back of your

50:28

head when you're going in there, all right? Great, great, great,

50:30

great. Do we have a wardrobe? A great

50:32

sweatshirt? Great, okay. Yeah, perfect. Maybe a little wig.

50:34

Honestly, maybe a little wig. If I'm gonna go

50:36

rob a bank, I am gonna be wanting to wear like a little

50:38

bob. Oh, of course you're wearing a

50:41

wig and sunglasses and these days a face

50:43

mask. Ah, this is a perfect time

50:45

to rob a bank. Truly. Not to give

50:47

any ideas out to the congregation. Right. Honestly,

50:50

rob a bank is so hard these days.

50:52

Don't even try it, okay? Don't try it.

50:54

It's not worth it. So

50:57

unless you work at the bank, maybe an inside

50:59

job, that could be cute. So

51:03

I didn't say that. I didn't say that to

51:05

allegedly. No, I don't think I even heard that.

51:07

Thank you, I don't think it happened. I

51:10

don't think that happened. We just gaslight the

51:12

listeners. Yo, what are you talking about? Oh

51:14

my God. We never said that. So, okay,

51:16

so the teller pressed the silent alarm, duh.

51:18

And the two exchanged a look. Danielle calmly

51:21

walked empty handed, still talking on the phone.

51:23

She just, she

51:25

just laughed. A few months later, they

51:27

tried again and were successful. This time the note was more

51:29

detailed. It said, quickly give me the money in your till.

51:31

Do not press the alarm. I have a weapon and I

51:34

would hate to hurt innocent people. Yeah, you came in with

51:36

a suggestion the first time. You was just like, give me

51:38

the money please. And she was like, I'm gonna give you,

51:40

I'm gonna call the police, bitch, what? And the next time

51:42

they were like. I can multitask. Right,

51:46

the silent alarm is right under there for a reason. So

51:48

that you can't see them push it. So

51:51

anyway, April 2010, another one of the girls,

51:53

Kadhara Kilgo started lobbying to do more robberies.

51:55

So she was like, guys, we should be

51:57

robbing more. So St. John and Kilgo. who

52:00

agreed together to rob a bank. But they also

52:02

decided to protect themselves by persuading another woman named

52:04

Mallory to be the one to go inside. So

52:06

now they're doing the pimp thing, but for bank

52:09

robbery. Yeah, yeah. You ain't pimping me into no

52:11

bank robbery. If you tell me how to do

52:13

the robbery, I'm like, yeah, on Tuesday at Chase

52:15

National, I'll be there. And then I'm gonna take

52:18

myself over to TD Bank and do the same

52:20

robbery over there. That's it. Yeah, just

52:22

so I know you're creating a distraction.

52:24

Also, I don't trust anyone named Mallory.

52:27

Yeah, Mallory is fine. She was not the one

52:29

to be roped in. I mean, if this

52:31

is a fake name, then forgive me whoever

52:33

the real Mallory is. But Mallory, my eyebrows

52:35

raised. Yeah, Mallory doesn't sound like she would

52:38

be good at robbing banks. But you know, that's just

52:40

it. You don't name a smart girl Mallory anyway. Sorry to any

52:42

ma- Sorry. You're

52:44

already dragging to Mallory's. Mallory's come back. I

52:46

love you. All right. So

52:49

she walked out of the bank with nearly $6,000 and

52:52

the spree began. She got hooked on doing it.

52:54

The high, I guess, St. John says. But now

52:56

the cops had some of the girls' photos, which

52:58

meant that St. John could no longer advertise on

53:00

Craigslist. So as a precaution, St.

53:02

John also pulled the reality TV footage

53:05

off MySpace. At this point, the FBI

53:07

alerted the media, KTLA said on the

53:09

evening news, "'Right now she seems to

53:11

be unstoppable, "'hitting eight banks in the

53:13

last 10 days "'of Southern California.'" That's

53:16

my newscaster voice. So- You

53:19

took me there. So

53:22

the FBI believed that there was only one robber, but

53:24

some witnesses gave descriptions and said there's probably more

53:27

than one robbers. Because one witness description

53:29

was like, oh, she's like 5'3, she got red hair.

53:31

Somebody else was like, she's like 5'7 and blonde, but

53:33

it's called Wigs. But I don't know how you make

53:35

your height taller. Maybe she wore heels to some of

53:37

the robbers? There could be some lifted

53:40

shoes happening. I mean, in the world

53:42

of espionage and robbery, they have many

53:44

ways of disguising. Maybe Mallory

53:46

had some of that protein powder and got

53:48

taller, you know? We don't know. This is the

53:50

same girl from the first story. She

53:53

was like, look, I worked up an airbred. Then I

53:55

met this comedy pimp and started robbing

53:57

banks. Sounds good. A life. Sounds

54:00

like an LA story to me. So the

54:04

FBI took a tip from somebody, a snitch.

54:06

Who snitched on Mallory? Y'all ain't right. Listen,

54:08

it's bad. You know, Mallory had her hard enough

54:10

having that name. She didn't even do the snitch.

54:13

And this is how they get caught. So we're

54:15

reaching the end of this story. So the report

54:17

said that a woman had been smoking crack and

54:19

bragging about robbing banks. Oh no. Oh

54:22

no. That

54:24

makes me feel just sad. That's the thing at the end of

54:26

the day, it's like I am on their side because I don't

54:28

want them to have to rob. Right,

54:30

if you have to rob a bank, it is because

54:32

you are in dire strains. And like, no one's just

54:35

like, I think it seemed fun. I'd like

54:37

to risk my goddamn life, no way.

54:40

No, why would they? So,

54:42

you know, the desperation, the capitalism, the being

54:44

in a hard position, and then, you know,

54:47

finding out that sadly, you know, she's using

54:49

drugs and talking about robbing

54:51

a bank. And I hate that she's talking

54:53

about robbing the bank. Like girl, don't snitch.

54:55

Oh, yourself. Like we say on this show

54:58

all the time. Gotta be a seal trap. Don't

55:00

fuck up your bag. But that's the thing about something that's

55:03

exciting. Like I remember I didn't date this guy, I went

55:05

on one date with him. And the first thing he told

55:07

me was, when we were boxing together in this boxing class

55:09

was that he was Puerto Rican for some reason. And I

55:11

was like, oh, I speak Spanish. We go on this date,

55:13

long story short, he was not Puerto Rican, his mom was

55:15

white and his dad was black. And I was like, oh,

55:17

so who's Puerto Rican? And he was like, oh no one,

55:19

I just said that to impress you. And I was like,

55:22

huh? Okay, so you lied

55:24

about something really crazy. Yes,

55:26

and then after that he told me, I

55:29

was like, oh, where do you work? And he was like, oh, I used to work at

55:31

this bank. And I was like, oh, you moved on. Are you changing your profession or whatever?

55:34

And he was like, oh no, I got fired. And I

55:36

was like, oh, that sucks. He was late a lot or

55:38

something. And he was like, oh no, insider trading. You

55:40

were willing to believe the best. What? Come

55:42

on. You were like, oh, you didn't show up for

55:45

work. You were willing to believe the best. He

55:48

was hot. Insider trading. You know that's when you

55:50

give the excuses on them. You were like, no, no, no, shh,

55:52

shh. Don't tell me that. And also

55:54

like when people are like, yeah, I went away for

55:56

insider trading. They think you're going to be impressed that it's

55:59

like a cool, like smart. What is smart right, but

56:01

then it's like yeah, but you got caught doing it and

56:03

this way that he got caught was he bragged

56:06

around? The office about how much money he made

56:09

Tell me I was mad. I could I could have

56:11

got what inside of training, but not you telling everybody

56:13

no We've also all

56:15

done illegal stuff. You just don't talk about

56:17

it Like everyone has

56:19

broken the law in their life. You just

56:21

cannot be speaking about it right

56:23

laws are suggestions, okay? They're like They're

56:27

just like they were made up by other people

56:29

how dare somebody else on this planet be like

56:31

dims derules It's

56:34

a loose prompt It's

56:39

a guideline do with

56:42

it, but you will They

56:49

So basically she snitches on herself detectives

56:51

interview the bank tellers and they're like

56:53

yeah Yeah, that's her so they swing

56:55

by goodnight in where she's currently saying

56:57

they see her outside and she's recognizable

56:59

from surveillance stuff They arrest her this

57:01

all happened on her 20th birthday

57:05

So young I might let this baby out

57:08

of jail. She is a baby. She got her full brain developed

57:10

You don't get that till you 25 Let's

57:12

just maybe I'm gonna use to tell her like

57:14

this is not Put the baby

57:16

in rehab and let her get her life together.

57:18

Okay, she could probably a great actress or something

57:21

She's got drama right That's

57:25

what you need baby She

57:27

tells Robin

57:30

banks the story was probably too good.

57:32

That's why with the girl went to the FBI She was

57:34

like I gotta tell somebody else the FBI literally

57:36

Yeah, I have to share this

57:39

so st John continued to rob banks and a

57:41

week after he picked up another young woman named

57:43

Kayla Consey at her mother's house They hit a

57:45

bank in Northridge, but got less than they expected

57:48

So they went to Chase Bank in Mission Hills that they

57:50

had robbed twice before now You can't go back to the

57:52

same spot that you hit the lick at I

57:54

mean if they robbed it successfully twice before Maybe

57:57

maybe that bank was a mess. Maybe that is the bank to

57:59

go rob You just said the location and

58:01

the branch. Yeah,

58:08

you're quote unquote, not telling the congregation to

58:10

rob you while you're just like, this one's

58:12

real easy. Okay, so on the 400 block, this

58:18

is the marshals of banks. They just leave the

58:20

money everywhere, okay? Go on and

58:22

then get yourself. The employees are very lax,

58:24

yeah. They're like, it's not

58:26

my bank. They got the FDIC and I'm not the

58:28

FDIC, so. Yeah,

58:30

grab $20,000 and a halter top. And

58:34

it'll be in the same place because I put it back. I didn't

58:36

want the halter top. So

58:40

they go back over there to rob this bank again. Lord

58:43

Jesus. So St. Johnson can't

58:45

eat inside. And when she didn't come out,

58:47

he recalled, she's in forever. Everybody knows you

58:49

can't stay in forever. A disguised officer was

58:51

parked right outside the bank. The officer had

58:54

been there for half an hour when he

58:56

saw a bank employee step out the front

58:58

door and take off running

59:00

through the parking lot. Oh no.

59:04

Oh no. What?

59:06

Something was wrong. Yeah,

59:09

when the employees run out of the business

59:11

in the sprint, something's wrong.

59:14

So, Gandy was

59:16

running away with her cell phone up to her ear. She screamed,

59:18

where are you? Come and get me, they're chasing me. So

59:20

the employee was running after her. So this. Unreal.

59:26

This just like full zoo that

59:28

is happening. God. So St. John

59:30

later got a call from Canty's mother saying Canty would

59:32

not rat him out, but that they needed $5,000 for

59:34

bail. But before they

59:36

could get the money together, Canty started

59:38

talking and the detectives traced the car

59:41

to St. John. So St. John was

59:43

still on parole and he was wearing

59:45

an ankle bracelet. No, no, no, no, no, no,

59:47

no, no. That's a bummer. Sir,

59:49

how you doing robberies? And you got a full

59:51

beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, that makes me feel

59:54

like he felt like there was no other option.

59:56

That's dark. I

59:58

don't know. If you buy a $50,000. $40,000

1:00:00

cars. It's just also that

1:00:02

you took out ads.

1:00:05

It's like you could have probably just stopped

1:00:07

and yeah, you should have just checked yourself. I've

1:00:09

gone back to the open legs. I know it

1:00:11

was a bad situation, but it can't be worse

1:00:14

than this. The Lord. Well

1:00:16

guys, this story that has more details, but they

1:00:18

got to get to me more boomerish. So we're

1:00:20

going to skip over those. Um, I hope that

1:00:22

all those ladies out there are doing well. Um,

1:00:25

I hope St. John is rotten somewhere cause

1:00:27

he's trash. Uh, yeah. And we'll

1:00:30

be back, uh, after some non-scam advertisements for the saddest

1:00:32

part of the show. It's the end where I have

1:00:34

to let Matt go. No, our views.

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Yep, I've got everything I need.

1:01:14

Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones.

1:01:16

Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight

1:01:18

Wi-Fi. 15% off all

1:01:20

Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without

1:01:23

T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle,

1:01:25

chewing gum, nail clippers, Okay, I'm gonna

1:01:27

leave you to it. Find out

1:01:29

how you can experience travel better

1:01:31

at t-mobile.com/travel. Qualifying

1:01:34

plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit

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and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount. Terms

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and conditions apply. And

1:01:42

fraud! And we're back. And

1:01:45

it's time for the saddest part of the

1:01:47

show. It's time for Scammer of the Week.

1:01:49

This is when we'll give our praise to

1:01:52

a charlatan who's really worthy of it. Or

1:01:54

maybe we won't. Like old, what was his

1:01:56

name? Huck Henry fucking Roxanne John. Fuck

1:01:59

that bitch. You know, sometimes we like them,

1:02:01

sometimes we don't. So, Scammer of the

1:02:03

Week is a Texas teen, shout out to Texas, that's where I'm

1:02:05

from. He collected $17,000, oh no, in a fake cancer

1:02:07

scam. Oh

1:02:12

no. You

1:02:14

can't do a cancer scam. That is the lowest

1:02:16

of the low. Like,

1:02:18

he's a teenager, so again, brain

1:02:20

not fully developed. Right, right, right,

1:02:22

right. So, 19 year old

1:02:25

Angie Gomez, okay, well we do

1:02:27

female representation, women in business. Women

1:02:33

in tech, there

1:02:35

probably was some tech involved. Right, STEM

1:02:37

program for the girls, yes.

1:02:41

We love a women. Yes,

1:02:44

girl boss. Girl

1:02:50

boss, I'm leaving, I'm getting my briefcase and

1:02:52

I'm going. So, she allegedly

1:02:54

received $17,000 in donations and gifts for

1:02:58

her Achieve the Dream Foundation,

1:03:00

great branding. Excellent branding,

1:03:03

flavorful. Angie

1:03:05

claimed that her cancer began

1:03:07

January 2011 and

1:03:09

that doctors had given her six months to live.

1:03:11

Angie told the El Paso Times, the doctors are

1:03:14

telling me to prepare myself and start planning for

1:03:16

what's about to come. They think the worst is

1:03:18

coming. When you start to feel sick and you

1:03:20

can't move, I think they're all crazy. But,

1:03:24

detectives said Angie never suffered from

1:03:26

cancer. Fundraisers were held to help

1:03:28

Angie start the Achieve the Dream

1:03:30

Foundation, which she claimed helped children

1:03:32

and families also suffering from her

1:03:34

same circumstances. Through the foundation,

1:03:36

she sold t-shirts, a

1:03:39

merch, and magnets,

1:03:41

no. Oh, no

1:03:43

magnets even. A

1:03:45

prom had been organized for Angie. Oh,

1:03:47

I hate this. After she said

1:03:50

she missed her high school's prom because

1:03:52

of the cancer. She wanted a party.

1:03:54

She said, give me all this money

1:03:56

at an event. This was

1:03:58

the first prom on Netflix. but

1:04:00

they could cancer, no, no.

1:04:04

So the problem was also meant to

1:04:06

be a fundraiser for the Achieve the

1:04:08

Dream Foundation. This bitch is bold. This

1:04:10

is- Achieve the Dream, oh my God, this is

1:04:13

so much. You see, this is like, maybe this

1:04:15

girl does need like, she

1:04:17

needs to go away somewhere. She

1:04:19

said Achieve, Dream, scheme,

1:04:22

foundation, no. An

1:04:25

investigation was launched in 2011 in June when

1:04:29

an anonymous person said there was some holes in Angie's

1:04:31

story. So we got a hater in our midst. So

1:04:34

one, January 2011, she

1:04:37

said, the girls

1:04:39

only gave me six months, right?

1:04:41

So this is June. So

1:04:44

this should be month five. Where

1:04:47

like, if it's, you know, so

1:04:49

maybe this person started putting together the dates

1:04:51

or like- Yeah, I was gonna say like, also

1:04:54

when someone is lying about having cancer and they're not ill, that's

1:04:58

one, that's one tell, I guess.

1:05:02

That bitch is in my spin class. She's

1:05:07

beating me. The

1:05:10

instructor's obsessed with her. Right,

1:05:12

that's what, I hope it was something

1:05:14

really petty, like really, really

1:05:16

petty. And then she was like, uh, I'm

1:05:18

just niching. So

1:05:20

it had been six months since doctors supposedly told

1:05:23

Gomez that her cancer was fatal, right? So there

1:05:25

was a lot of suspicions, just like I said

1:05:27

right before. And then at

1:05:29

the one point, the mom became aware that this

1:05:31

was going on. She tried to talk to her

1:05:33

and told her to tell the truth. So wait.

1:05:39

Wait. Yeah. Her

1:05:41

mom didn't know that she was lying about this. Oh,

1:05:43

cause she's 19, she probably doesn't live in the house. Yeah.

1:05:47

That's crazy to be able to lie to your

1:05:49

parents about that. That's nuts.

1:05:52

Ooh. To tell

1:05:54

the people that you love the most, that

1:05:57

you're going through this, I don't know. No,

1:06:01

I would never do that. That's extremely, like this woman

1:06:03

must be like a sociopath, like something.

1:06:05

Yeah, that's sociopath behavior. Right.

1:06:08

So at the time, Angie's fundraising was supported

1:06:10

by Horizon City High School. However, the district

1:06:12

was unaware that her claims were untrue. She

1:06:15

eventually was arrested and her bond was set

1:06:17

at $50,000. Here's

1:06:22

the thing. If

1:06:24

this had been a GoFundMe, I wouldn't

1:06:26

feel as bad because like, I

1:06:29

don't know when I give money to anybody on

1:06:31

GoFundMe if it's going where they say it is.

1:06:33

You know what I mean? Like, I've never been

1:06:35

like, oh, someone's like, oh, my daughter was in

1:06:37

a car accident and like, we just need money

1:06:39

for her back surgery. I've never been like six

1:06:41

months later, let me see your daughter back. I

1:06:43

didn't know my $12 went to the right place.

1:06:45

Exactly. Exactly. I'll be giving money

1:06:48

to, if I'm convinced by the

1:06:50

GoFundMe, it's enough. Yeah. Right.

1:06:52

And it's like, I, no matter what,

1:06:54

as long as my intentions were positive, I

1:06:57

can't do nothing about it. And so I just

1:06:59

let it go. But I think it's different when

1:07:02

you're doing this as a community organizer and you're

1:07:04

literally like throwing a prom and you're like doing,

1:07:06

you know. No, this is an

1:07:08

elaborate lie. This is dark. This

1:07:10

is dark sided. Yes. And

1:07:13

this honestly makes me understand why Susan G.

1:07:15

Komen is so litigious because I don't know

1:07:17

if you know, but Susan G. Komen Cancer

1:07:19

Found Breast Cancer Foundation, they will suit a

1:07:21

shit out of you. If you try to

1:07:23

use a Susan, a G or a Komen

1:07:25

and it is not from their business. Susan

1:07:27

will... Yeah, they'll say, excuse

1:07:29

me. Hello? Hello? Is that

1:07:31

a pink ribbon I see? You better put that

1:07:33

shit in the trash. Here to collect or

1:07:35

reject. Right. You

1:07:38

can run a race, but not for the

1:07:40

cure, bitch. I don't know what you, that's

1:07:42

our race. That's what we run it. Like,

1:07:44

so I understand that even more now when

1:07:46

you have people like this who are just

1:07:48

creating fake foundations and, you know, exploiting their

1:07:50

community. It's terrifying. That's very scary. You

1:07:53

a bad child. Like you 19.

1:07:57

Well, actually you're not 19 no more if this is in

1:07:59

2011, honey. You're 29. Yeah,

1:08:01

she's approaching 30. And

1:08:03

I would say, I hope you found

1:08:05

a way to enterprise or, you

1:08:08

know, get better at this or put your skills

1:08:10

to better use. Maybe you should be an actress.

1:08:12

Maybe you should start going with the open mics.

1:08:15

You seem to get a real reaction when you perform.

1:08:18

Now for nothing. Move to LA.

1:08:21

Or a producer, because honey, you were putting

1:08:23

on events. Oh, she was producing

1:08:25

events. She's

1:08:27

a coordinator. So Andy,

1:08:30

just please, I hope by now you

1:08:32

have taken your skills and, you know,

1:08:34

take your talents to a better venue

1:08:36

because scamming people like. Because you are an icon.

1:08:38

You are an icon and you are very talented, but

1:08:40

this is not the way. This is wrong. We

1:08:43

don't support it. But guys, that brings us

1:08:45

to the end. Oh my God, that's our

1:08:47

poo bun. It truly did. This

1:08:50

is so fun. It's so fun. I feel

1:08:52

like I've known you. This is our first time like

1:08:54

meeting over Zoom and I feel like I've talked to

1:08:56

you forever. Oh my God. It's stay

1:08:58

forever. You honestly have such a fun show and

1:09:01

like honestly, I feel I feel educated. I

1:09:03

know. I know. I feel I know what to look out

1:09:05

for. Yes. That's

1:09:07

what I believe with that or a plan. I

1:09:11

guess the bank that I talked about in Ridgewood,

1:09:13

it did tighten up. So maybe don't try to.

1:09:16

Well we hope and only the congregation

1:09:18

can let us know. Let us know

1:09:20

how your attempted robbery goes. At

1:09:22

the Northridge Bank. No. Oh

1:09:25

my God. So we always ask Matt, where do you

1:09:27

want to be found? That's

1:09:29

such a good question and such an

1:09:31

important distinction. Like I don't

1:09:33

want to be found in Gainesville, Florida dead. But

1:09:36

I would love to be found on my

1:09:38

podcast, Last Culture Racist with Bo and Yang.

1:09:40

We release episodes every Wednesday, wherever you get

1:09:42

your podcasts. I

1:09:45

love to say. And

1:09:47

also I'm hosting the show Hot Dog, which you

1:09:49

were kind enough to mention at the top of

1:09:51

the app. It's on HBO Max.

1:09:53

It's a dog grooming competition show. It's a

1:09:55

blast. You root for everyone. I'm on there

1:09:57

with Robin Thede, who's the best. also

1:10:00

Jess Rona who's like the empress of

1:10:02

dog grooming on Instagram. You gotta check

1:10:04

the show out. It's fun. We get

1:10:06

put into fashions. The

1:10:08

dogs are adorable and the groomers are so talented and

1:10:10

their stories are amazing. So you gotta check it out

1:10:12

when that drops on February 4th. And

1:10:15

then all 12 episodes of that will

1:10:17

be out. So you can binge your

1:10:19

ass off. Binge baby, binge. We love

1:10:21

a binge. I need a binge. Honestly,

1:10:23

I can't watch it unless it's all

1:10:25

out cause I'm gonna just be starving.

1:10:27

That's one thing about WandaVision, I

1:10:30

know WandaVision on Disney Plus. I will be trying

1:10:32

to watch that show. It's like literally

1:10:34

the episodes are 26 minutes long and I'm like, God damn

1:10:36

it, put this all out at once. I am hooked, but

1:10:38

I don't wanna wait a week, a week, a week cause

1:10:40

I don't know what I'm gonna be like in six weeks.

1:10:42

My life could be different. Nobody knows

1:10:45

what we're gonna be like in six weeks. I'm

1:10:47

the same way. I haven't started WandaVision because of

1:10:49

that. I was like, y'all have y'all takes. I'ma

1:10:51

wait until Wanda's whole vision is out and then

1:10:53

I'ma go look and see what she was looking

1:10:55

at. I'm not here for the partial vision,

1:10:57

exactly. Right, I want 2020, but

1:11:00

I do not want that year back. No, no. Guys,

1:11:02

as always, if you wanna write into

1:11:04

the show, scamgotaspod@gmail.com, snitch on your friends

1:11:06

and family. If we don't read the

1:11:08

letter on this show, you guys know

1:11:11

we have that bonus show, Con Fessions,

1:11:13

which is rolling back out this February,

1:11:15

is it 4th, Chelsea? Yes. Which

1:11:18

is rolling out February 4th, leave that

1:11:20

in. Everything's rolling out February 4th, we love it.

1:11:22

Yes, oh yes, come on, hot

1:11:25

dog, hot dog. And also, it's

1:11:28

a huge day for entertainment. No, hot

1:11:30

dog looks so fun and I'm very

1:11:32

excited. The clips that I've

1:11:35

seen have been amazing. So yes, guys, tune

1:11:37

the fuck in. As always, snitch on your

1:11:39

friends and family, it's scamgotaspod@gmail.com. And if you

1:11:41

don't hear your listener letters on the show,

1:11:44

again, Con Fessions, February 4th. And if you

1:11:46

wanna find me and all my shenanigans, that's

1:11:48

D-I-V-A-L-A-C-I, Diva Lacey on all platforms. Congregation, oh

1:11:50

and Diva Lacey on Clubhouse, if y'all wanna

1:11:53

be messy, maybe I'll start a scam room. Congregation,

1:11:57

stay schemin'. Yeah, I've

1:11:59

got it. This

1:12:02

has been an earwolf production in

1:12:04

association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is

1:12:06

starring me, duh, Scam Goddess,

1:12:08

AKA Lacey Mosley. Scam Goddess is

1:12:10

produced by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered

1:12:13

by Marina Bayez with research by

1:12:15

Sherlyn Vera. Stay schemin'. When

1:12:20

you need mealtime inspiration, it's worth shopping

1:12:23

Kroger, where you'll find over 30,000 mouthwatering

1:12:25

choices that excite your inner foodie. And

1:12:27

no matter what tasty choice you make,

1:12:30

you'll enjoy our everyday low prices, plus

1:12:32

extra ways to save, like digital coupons

1:12:34

worth over $600 each week. You

1:12:38

can also save up to $1 off

1:12:40

per gallon at the pump with fuel

1:12:42

points. More savings and more inspiring flavors

1:12:44

make shopping Kroger worth it every time.

1:12:47

Kroger, fresh for everyone. Fuel restrictions apply.

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