0:01

Let me ask you a question. Do you

0:03

love your age? Like really love it?

0:05

Do you appreciate it? Are you enjoying

0:07

the age that you are? Because

0:10

if not, today's episode is for

0:12

you. And we're going

0:14

to kick this one off with a George Burns

0:16

quote where he says, you can't help getting older,

0:18

but you don't have to get old. So

0:21

let's dive into loving your

0:23

age. Welcome

0:29

to the School of Self-image

0:31

where personal development meets style.

0:33

Here's your hostess, Master Life

0:35

Coach Tanya Lee. Hello,

0:39

gorgeous friends. Today

0:42

we are talking about loving

0:44

your age. I am

0:46

so excited about this episode. And let

0:48

me tell you why. I

0:50

often hear from women that

0:53

their age is an issue.

0:56

And I've heard both sides of the

0:58

spectrum. So I've heard younger women tell

1:00

me that because of their age, they

1:03

can't do the things that they want to do.

1:06

They're not experienced enough. They don't have

1:08

enough on their resume. And

1:10

then I've had a lot of women telling

1:12

me because of their age as

1:15

an older woman that it

1:17

is an obstacle. It's holding them back.

1:20

And I want to challenge both

1:23

ends of the spectrum. My

1:26

main goal for this episode is

1:28

for you to begin to love

1:30

your age. This is something

1:32

that we have been talking about within the School

1:34

of Self-image membership for the entire month. And I

1:36

just had a woman reach out to me and

1:39

tell me that for the first

1:41

time in about 10 years, she

1:43

is truly embracing her age. And

1:45

she listed all of the things that

1:48

she's done this month because

1:50

she had this story in her mind that because

1:52

of her age, she couldn't wear certain things. She

1:54

couldn't have certain goals. Basically

1:57

her story had been that her life

1:59

was declining. And

2:01

through changing her mindset around

2:03

a number, she

2:05

is getting her life force back. And

2:07

that's what I want for all of

2:10

us. I want us to learn

2:12

to love our age no matter what. So

2:15

whether you find yourself wishing that you

2:17

were younger or worrying about getting

2:19

older, nearly all

2:21

of us have fallen into the trap

2:24

of not appreciating where we are right

2:26

now. And so I

2:28

want this episode to be an inspiration

2:30

for embracing your age with joy,

2:33

purpose, and gratitude. Because

2:35

there is so much beauty to

2:38

enjoy at every stage of life

2:40

when you have the right attitude. So

2:43

when I think about my own journey with aging,

2:46

I have to admit, I haven't

2:48

always practiced what I currently preach. In

2:51

fact, I remember when I was going

2:53

through my teens and twenties and

2:55

even into my thirties, I

2:58

seemed to always be focused on the

3:00

next phase where I wanted to get

3:03

to. I was always

3:05

focused on what I thought was missing.

3:07

And so I thought that the joy,

3:09

the fulfillment was always going to be

3:11

in the future. I

3:13

would tell myself when I'm in college, I'm

3:15

going to be happier. When I get married, I'm

3:17

going to be happier. When I have kids, I'm

3:19

going to be happier. When I

3:22

have more success in my career, when

3:24

I'm older, the happiness is there. There

3:27

was always something missing until

3:29

the next age, until the

3:31

next stage that I was

3:33

so eager to reach. And

3:35

then something started to shift

3:37

in my mid to late

3:40

thirties. All of a

3:42

sudden, I found myself

3:44

wishing for the opposite. I

3:47

wanted to go back in time. I wanted

3:49

to be twenty again, thirty

3:52

again. I wanted to

3:54

be somewhere other than where I

3:56

was. And then,

3:59

perimenopause. and my body

4:01

started to change and

4:04

it continues to change. My

4:06

eyesight is not what it used to

4:08

be. Things hang that used to didn't

4:10

hang and I'm getting

4:12

wrinkles and all of the

4:14

things that happen when we

4:16

have the blessed opportunity of

4:18

aging. And so when I

4:21

look back on my life, what

4:23

I regret the most is

4:25

that I didn't appreciate the age

4:27

that I was. And

4:30

I know that there is a future me

4:33

that if I'm not mindful, will

4:35

be regretting that I don't appreciate

4:38

this age. And

4:40

so years ago, I just decided I

4:42

am going to love my age. I'm

4:45

gonna love wherever I am in

4:47

life. I'm not gonna waste time

4:50

wishing I was 20 again because I'll

4:52

never be 20 again. And

4:55

realizing wishing for anything that

4:57

you will never have again,

5:00

just creates suffering, unnecessary

5:02

suffering. And if you think

5:04

about it this way, the reason why you want

5:06

anything, the reason why you want to be 20,

5:09

30, 40, 50 again, whatever

5:11

that number is for you, is

5:14

because you're after a feeling.

5:17

And the feeling that I want

5:19

in my life right now is

5:22

joy and gratitude and awe and

5:24

abundance and love. And

5:26

that doesn't come from an age because I didn't

5:28

have those feelings when I was in my 20s.

5:31

In fact, I remember feeling a lot of

5:33

insecurity, a lot of lack, a

5:36

lot of self-doubt. And

5:38

so age isn't

5:40

the solution. It's our

5:43

attitude, our mindset that can give

5:45

us exactly what we want. And

5:50

so no matter where you find yourself,

5:52

there are profound blessings to

5:54

extract from each phase of

5:56

your life. You

5:59

know, in our youth, we... typically enjoy great

6:01

health, lots of energy, a passion

6:03

for adventure and openness to new

6:05

ideas. And then

6:07

we become adults and

6:10

we gain beautiful responsibilities. Maybe

6:12

it's marriage or a

6:14

career, being a parent, stepping

6:17

into leadership roles. And

6:19

we start to come into

6:22

our talents, our purpose. And

6:25

this is an interesting stage because I

6:27

remember when Sarah was little and I

6:29

was starting my business and the overwhelm

6:32

and all of the things and wishing

6:34

that I could be where I am

6:36

now. And it's

6:38

so crazy. Now I

6:40

look back and I'm like, oh, I

6:42

wish I would have appreciated that time

6:45

in my life. I wish I would have been

6:47

more present. I wish I would have

6:49

had the mindset tools that I have

6:51

now that I didn't have back then

6:54

because there was still so much joy

6:56

to be found in that stage of

6:59

my life. And yet I was just

7:01

consumed with the

7:03

responsibilities. And so as

7:06

one does without awareness, I was

7:08

wishing to be older. I was wishing

7:10

to be in that next stage where

7:13

hopefully the burden would be a little lighter. I

7:16

would have more wisdom. I

7:18

would have more experience under my belt.

7:22

And then I entered

7:24

into that stage and

7:26

then my body started to change. I

7:30

hit perimenopause and

7:32

I found myself on

7:34

occasion thinking, ah, God,

7:36

I wish I could go back to when I was

7:38

my thirties. And so you

7:40

see how the game unfolds. If

7:43

you're not mindful, if

7:45

you don't make a conscious

7:47

decision to love your age

7:50

at every stage, you can

7:52

spend a lifetime wishing to

7:54

be somewhere other than

7:57

where you are. see

8:00

it now is you're lucky if

8:03

you get to gain senior status

8:06

and you have such a

8:08

depth of wisdom and stories

8:10

and experience to

8:12

share. And yeah,

8:14

our bodies change. You may

8:16

not have the energy that you had when you were

8:18

20, but what do you have? What

8:20

do you have an abundance that you didn't have when you were

8:23

20? So I

8:25

want us to reframe aging

8:27

from being a burden to

8:30

being a blessing. Because

8:33

let's be honest, the word aging often comes with

8:35

a lot of baggage. Images of

8:37

rocking chairs and declining health

8:39

and lost youth, maybe

8:42

some of the things that pop into your head. But

8:44

here's the thing, aging is not

8:46

a disease. It is a

8:48

privilege, a privilege truly

8:51

of a lifetime. In

8:53

preparing for this episode, I came

8:56

across the stat that a

8:58

whopping 122,000 people turn 65

9:02

every single day worldwide. The

9:05

way I see that is it's 122,000 more chances to experience life,

9:07

to learn and to grow. When

9:14

you look at it that way,

9:16

aging is not something to complain

9:19

about. It is something to celebrate.

9:22

Listen, I could speak for hours about the

9:24

gifts of aging, but

9:27

the key is learning to unlock

9:30

the lessons, to not

9:33

waste your time clinging to the past

9:35

or dreading the future, but

9:37

to embrace your age. Whatever

9:40

age you are, you may be listening to this

9:42

and you're 25 or you may be 85. Whatever

9:46

age you are, what if you just

9:48

decided to embrace it? Love

9:51

it and rock it out. So

9:53

I want to give you some tips for loving

9:56

your age. First,

9:59

focus on your age. on the present. Appreciate

10:02

the now for all of

10:04

its glory, for all of

10:06

its lessons, for

10:08

all of its experiences. Whenever

10:11

I'm feeling anxious, whenever

10:14

I'm feeling regret, I know I'm

10:16

either living in the past or

10:19

I'm telling myself a scary story about

10:21

the future. When I come back to the

10:24

present moment, all is well.

10:27

When I'm just really focused and

10:29

looking around, I'm okay.

10:32

And not only am I okay, I'm

10:34

so blessed. Are you

10:37

looking for the blessings of this moment?

10:40

The other thing I think it's really important

10:42

to do, and this is more for us

10:45

older folks, because I find that when you're

10:47

young, you do have a lot

10:49

of goals. You see your

10:52

future, you have like a longer runway,

10:54

and so you're more inspired

10:56

to set goals. However,

10:58

I've noticed that as we get

11:01

older, we don't set exciting goals

11:03

as much for ourselves. But

11:06

with current technology, our

11:09

life expectancy is increasing, which

11:13

means you may have many, many more years

11:15

ahead of you. Why not

11:17

set exciting goals that light you up to

11:19

get you excited to wake up in the

11:21

morning? Think about what you

11:23

could create or contribute or learn or

11:25

achieve. For

11:28

example, if you're 50, you may want to train

11:30

for a marathon. If you're 65, you

11:32

may want to learn a new language. If

11:35

you're 75, maybe you want to teach your

11:37

grandkids how to cook your signature dishes

11:39

and pass down those traditions. When

11:42

I worked as a critical care nurse, I

11:44

took care of a man who was I

11:46

think he was like 87, 88, because it

11:48

happened three years prior. But he

11:51

had told me he was like, I'd always wanted

11:53

to be a published author. And so he ended

11:55

up publishing his book at 85 years

11:57

old. He checked it off of his book at list. He

12:00

kept having dreams and goals

12:02

and desires, and that

12:04

is a beautiful thing. I

12:08

also encourage you to seek out mentors

12:10

who maybe are a decade or two older,

12:13

who are rocking life, learn from them, let

12:15

them inspire you. On

12:17

a similar note, I think

12:19

it's really important to build

12:21

intergenerational friendships. I

12:24

love hanging out with my daughter and

12:26

her friends because they teach me so

12:29

much. They teach me all of the

12:31

cool things, all of the new cool

12:33

music, and I also

12:35

love hanging out with people who are older

12:37

than me. We've become good

12:39

friends with a couple who are in their

12:41

70s, and they are rocking it out in

12:44

life. Like, I love being around them and

12:46

their energy. They sometimes

12:48

act younger than my daughter's

12:51

friends. Just their energy, and

12:53

they always have exciting trips, and

12:55

they love taking care of themselves. I

12:57

just love being around their energy. Plus,

13:00

it's so important to have

13:03

community. If you have

13:05

read anything about the blue zones, where

13:07

they've studied where there are a larger

13:09

number of centenarians, those who've lived to

13:11

be 100 or older, and

13:14

the commonalities between all of these different

13:16

blue zones, community is

13:18

a big factor in longevity.

13:21

In fact, there was a study by

13:23

the University of California, Berkeley, that found

13:25

that social connection is just

13:27

as important to our health as avoiding smoking.

13:30

How crazy is that? And

13:33

so, when I'm looking at

13:35

building community, I don't

13:37

want to discriminate. I don't want to hold

13:39

myself to this idea that I

13:42

only can hang out with people my age.

13:45

I want to have friends from all

13:47

walks of life, all ages, because everybody

13:50

brings something interesting to the

13:52

table. So, seek out

13:54

friends that maybe are older than you,

13:56

or maybe younger than you, because

13:59

you'll learn. so much from

14:02

these people who are in different stages of

14:04

their life and you'll have something unique to

14:06

offer as well. The

14:08

other thing is you

14:10

have to challenge stereotypes

14:13

about aging by

14:15

you living boldly. Follow

14:19

interests that light you up, not what

14:21

you think you should be doing at

14:23

your age but what do you genuinely want

14:25

to do? Push against

14:27

what you've been told older folks

14:30

can supposedly do or can't do.

14:32

I mean who decided that?

14:34

It's like someone said it years ago and

14:36

then just people started following it and they're

14:38

like oh well I guess because I'm 50

14:40

or I'm 60 or I'm 70.

14:44

I can't do that. Challenge

14:46

it. What is the

14:48

limitation that you have placed on your age

14:50

that you can conquer and it might be

14:52

the opposite. Maybe you've been told because of

14:55

your age you can't go out there and

14:57

start your own business. You can't do certain

14:59

things. What if that

15:01

is simply a limitation that

15:03

others placed on you that

15:06

is not yours to live by? Another

15:10

way to love your age is

15:12

to create age-loving environments.

15:14

What do I mean by that?

15:18

If your social media feed is

15:21

filled with images that

15:23

make you feel bad about yourself

15:26

that don't spark celebration of

15:28

who you are, maybe

15:31

you shouldn't have those images

15:33

around you. Maybe

15:35

you don't need to trigger yourself

15:38

to fight where

15:40

you are in your life and who

15:43

you are. Now for

15:45

me the way this looks is just

15:47

the way my community looks. My social

15:49

media feed is filled with younger people

15:51

and older people because I know

15:54

I can learn from everyone but

15:57

I'm very mindful of how I

15:59

feel when I look at

16:01

someone's feed. There

16:03

are some older folks that I don't want to

16:05

follow, just like there are some younger

16:08

folks I don't want to follow. But

16:10

there are also those that I love following,

16:12

one that comes to mind is I love

16:14

following Train with Joan. I

16:17

find that her story is so inspiring.

16:19

It's, I don't even, Joan McDonald,

16:21

I think is her name. And

16:23

I remember I started following her years

16:26

ago when she was just getting started

16:28

on her fitness journey at, I don't

16:30

know, I think she was maybe 70. I'm

16:32

not sure. I'm like her age, I

16:34

can't remember. But it's

16:36

her story of

16:39

evolving. It's her story of overcoming

16:42

obstacles. It's her story of getting

16:44

fit and healthy at an

16:46

older age. And I just find that so

16:49

inspiring. And now she's at almost like 2

16:51

million followers, but I can

16:53

learn so much from her. And she has

16:55

created this age loving environment

16:57

that I love being in.

17:00

So for you, look around not

17:02

only your social media feeds, but

17:04

look around at the people you're

17:06

hanging out with, what you're reading,

17:08

what surrounds you? And does

17:11

it give you life? Does it make you

17:13

excited about living and fill you with joy?

17:15

Or do you find it feels

17:17

heavy? And it's taking away

17:19

your life force. This is why

17:22

environment is so important. You have to

17:24

be mindful of what you surround yourself

17:26

with because it's impacting your self image.

17:28

It's impacting how you see yourself.

17:31

And so if you're hanging out with

17:33

friends who are always complaining about getting

17:35

older, and how you know,

17:37

life is so hard, and you

17:40

find that when you're with them, you just

17:42

feel low energy, pay attention to

17:44

that. And it's not that

17:46

you need to get rid of those friends. Maybe you do.

17:48

Maybe you don't. That's up to you. But

17:50

you want to make sure you're mindful that you

17:53

don't adopt their attitudes.

17:56

And you may want to seek out some new people

17:58

to hang out with that when you're them

18:00

it's just so easy to think

18:02

fun and joyful thoughts because

18:05

of their attitudes and their

18:07

energy. The

18:09

other thing that I must speak on

18:11

is dressing. I

18:14

don't know how you all feel about the term

18:16

dress your age but what does that even mean?

18:19

Does it mean that when I'm 80 and 90 I need to

18:22

wear moo-moos and just

18:25

look older? Like I

18:27

don't get that term. What

18:30

I'm about is dressing

18:32

for my desired energy

18:35

because clothes are an expression of

18:37

your identity. One of

18:40

the means by which we tell the

18:42

world who and

18:44

what we are and so

18:46

are you dressing in a way that tells

18:48

the world that you're vibrant and full of

18:50

life or vice versa. I

18:53

love what Iris Efelsa says. She's like

18:55

style has no age. It's an attitude

18:57

not age. So

18:59

play with trends. Play with

19:02

colors. Play with patterns that

19:04

uplift you that tell

19:07

not only the world but tells

19:09

yourself. I am a woman

19:12

who loves herself. Who

19:14

is embracing herself. Who

19:17

loves her life and I'm

19:19

telling you clothes impact how you

19:21

feel. If you are feeling

19:24

low energy, if you

19:26

are feeling heavy, burdened,

19:28

notice your clothing. Notice

19:31

how if you're not intentional you're

19:33

going to choose clothing to mirror

19:36

the story you have about yourself. This

19:39

is where we can use clothing intentionally

19:42

to give us energy to

19:44

express ourselves on purpose.

19:47

So dress your energy not

19:49

your age. The

19:52

other thing that's super important no matter

19:54

what age we are is to be

19:56

active and to take care of our

19:58

bodies. I love for

20:01

you to imagine your body as a car.

20:05

And when you have a

20:07

new car, it runs really well, it's

20:09

really shiny, it's brand new, everything

20:12

hopefully works. But if you

20:14

don't take care of it, it won't

20:16

work as well as it gets older.

20:20

And so it's important to fuel

20:22

your body with whole and healthy

20:24

foods, to move it regularly and

20:26

to treat it with love and

20:29

respect and kindness. Get that

20:31

yearly checkup. And

20:33

you have to remember too, well cared

20:35

for cars become what

20:37

we call vintage. And

20:40

they often have a lot of

20:42

value. And so no

20:44

matter where you are in your journey, now

20:47

you may be listening to this. And

20:49

I've had this happen in my own brain before.

20:51

And I've definitely coached a lot of women around

20:53

this. But you may be thinking, but

20:55

Tanya, I'm 60 years old. And

20:59

I haven't taken care of my body.

21:02

And it's too late for me. I

21:04

want you to stop right there. And I

21:07

want you to think about that one sentence. It's

21:10

too late for me. Is

21:12

that something that a woman

21:14

who's loving and embracing her age would

21:17

say? Is it something

21:19

that inspires you that gets you excited

21:21

about your life? And

21:24

here's a fun fact. Your body

21:26

literally regenerates itself every seven years.

21:30

And so no matter where you are

21:32

on your journey, I

21:34

don't care. I always say no matter

21:37

how far off track you think you

21:39

are, you can

21:41

always do what I call a U-turn.

21:43

Why O-U? Back

21:46

to you. Back to

21:48

what you want. Back to your desires. And

21:52

more than ever in my own journey, I

21:54

am realizing the importance of

21:57

taking care of our health and our wellness.

22:00

being what is the saying a rich

22:02

man has a thousand wishes a sick

22:05

man only has a one I

22:08

think sometimes we have to begin to lose something

22:10

that we've taken for granted for us to wake

22:12

up and be like oh I

22:15

need to take care of myself and that's definitely been

22:17

the case for me like for

22:19

years I had great health and then all of a sudden

22:22

perimenopause kicked in and I had some

22:24

other issues and I noticed that my

22:26

energy was drained and I noticed things

22:28

starting to change and I'm like okay

22:30

sister it's time it's

22:33

time to take care of

22:35

this you

22:37

know blossoming vintage car if you

22:39

were becoming and so

22:42

please don't allow your age

22:45

to be an excuse for

22:47

not taking care of yourself I

22:49

believe in the body's ability to heal

22:51

I believe in the body's desire

22:54

to be in harmony and

22:57

that only requires that we show up to

22:59

take care of it you

23:02

deserve your own self-care

23:04

and if you want

23:06

to love your age and embrace your

23:09

age this is such an important part

23:11

of it how can you begin to

23:14

really take care of your body

23:16

and along these lines I suggest

23:18

that you find activities that you love

23:21

such as maybe tennis or pickleball or

23:23

maybe you love walking or maybe you

23:25

want to start dancing maybe you want

23:27

to go to the gym and start

23:29

lifting weights but find something that you

23:32

can do to stay active

23:34

I always say that living

23:37

things move dead

23:39

things don't move they're stiff and

23:41

they're rigid so if you want

23:43

to bring more life back into

23:45

your energy just start moving

23:47

more get up stretch go for a walk

23:50

you deserve that the

23:52

other way to love your age and

23:55

this is just in general in life

23:57

is to stop comparing yourself to other

23:59

people other people. Now I know

24:01

it's easier said than done, but

24:04

researchers have actually shown that

24:06

comparing ourselves to others is

24:08

a major predictor of unhappiness.

24:11

So what I did years ago

24:13

that has really helped me with

24:15

this is that I started making

24:18

how I feel more important than

24:20

what's happening outside of me. And

24:23

so what happened is through creating that

24:25

lens in which I filter the world,

24:27

when I see something that

24:29

maybe I used to compare myself to. Now

24:32

I, my perspective,

24:34

I use it to feel good

24:37

about whatever I'm seeing. I'm like, good

24:39

for her. That's amazing. And

24:41

I always just bring it back to me. What

24:44

are my values? What are my goals?

24:46

How do I want to feel? And

24:49

just focusing my life and

24:51

my thoughts and my actions

24:53

in that direction just

24:55

gives me this intrinsic power

24:59

so that I'm not externally

25:01

focused and using the

25:03

external world as a predictor of

25:05

whether I'm happy or not. And

25:08

so direct your attention inward

25:10

and break the trap

25:12

of comparing yourself to other people,

25:14

because there's no upside

25:16

to it. Even if you look

25:18

at someone and you compare in a way that's favorable

25:21

to you, if that's

25:23

how you see the world, inevitably you're going to

25:25

see someone else that makes you feel bad about

25:27

yourself. So what if you just stopped that game

25:29

that you're never going to win? The

25:32

other way to love your age is to

25:35

choose your narrative carefully. What's

25:38

the stories you tell yourself and

25:40

others about aging? Words

25:43

hold immense power. Be

25:46

careful that you don't just

25:48

start regurgitating what your grandmothers

25:50

and mothers told you about

25:52

aging unless they

25:55

had a beautiful narrative around it and

25:58

decide on purpose. the words you

26:00

speak, saying things like,

26:03

I'm over the hill and I'm

26:05

too old or aging sucks.

26:08

I hate getting older. Those are things you'll just

26:10

never hear me say. Why?

26:12

Because I don't like how I feel when I say

26:15

them. And because I have made

26:17

my focus feeling good on the inside, I'm

26:19

very mindful about the words I speak. I'd

26:23

rather say things like, I am

26:25

so blessed to be the sage.

26:28

There's so many beautiful things about being

26:30

the sage. And because of the

26:32

way the brain works through the reticular activating

26:34

system that sort of sips through all of

26:36

the information that's out there and gives you

26:39

and delivers to you what you ask, because

26:42

that's how I'm speaking,

26:45

that is where my focus, I'm

26:47

always looking for things to provide

26:49

evidence for what I believe. And

26:53

so you need to choose your

26:55

narrative carefully. Another way

26:57

to love your age and embrace

26:59

your age is to try new

27:01

things. Do

27:04

things outside of your comfort zone. If

27:07

you think about it when you're young, you're always trying

27:09

new things. Everything's new. But as

27:11

we get older and we've

27:13

experienced more, it can seem as if

27:15

there's not a lot of new things to

27:17

explore because you've already explored a lot. But

27:20

I wanna challenge you. There's

27:23

always something new

27:25

to explore. What if you've

27:27

only explored 5% of what's

27:29

available to you? Isn't

27:32

that crazy to think about? What

27:35

if there's still 95% of things out there that

27:38

you haven't explored, you haven't learned, you

27:40

haven't experienced? The

27:43

New England Journal of Medicine found

27:45

engaging in mentally stimulating activities like

27:47

learning new skills reduces

27:49

cognitive decline. And

27:52

so make yourself, force yourself to

27:55

try something new. Maybe it's a new

27:57

food. Maybe it's learning a new language.

27:59

Maybe it's... learning how to play an instrument

28:01

or learning how to dance. But

28:03

there's always something new

28:06

to learn. So welcome

28:08

unfamiliarity because within that

28:10

space, it will expand your horizons

28:12

and you'll learn new things about

28:14

yourself. And maybe just maybe you

28:16

will discover a new goal that

28:18

you're excited to pursue. The

28:22

last point I wanna make as it relates

28:24

to loving your age has brought

28:26

me so much freedom and it's something that

28:28

I've personally worked on in depth,

28:30

especially over the last few years.

28:34

And this is for all of my people pleasers, all

28:37

of those who seek

28:39

external approval as a

28:41

means to determine your

28:43

self-worth. And as

28:45

it relates to this topic, a

28:48

lot of times we can

28:50

outsource our worth to

28:52

other people. And because we do live, and

28:55

I see it changing, which is exciting,

28:58

but historically, it's been

29:00

a youth-obsessed culture. And we can have this

29:02

narrative that as we age, we

29:05

lose value. And so

29:07

if you have that narrative and

29:09

you're always seeking external approval to

29:12

prove your worth, to prove that

29:15

you have value, you're

29:17

setting yourself up for a lot of

29:19

misery. It's not just about your self-worth. It

29:23

is time to stop seeking

29:26

external approval. And

29:29

when you do that, it just frees you

29:32

up to live

29:34

with so much joy, to

29:36

have honest relationships, to

29:40

live in integrity, to

29:42

do things that you really want to do,

29:45

and to say no when you really want to say

29:47

no. It's the

29:49

most liberating way to live

29:52

no matter if you're 20 or you're 80. Seeking

29:56

external approval for your

29:58

happiness is a game you will never... ever

30:00

win. It's something you're always chasing

30:03

and I don't know about you all but as I

30:05

get older I want to

30:08

chase less and attract

30:10

more. I want to chase

30:12

less and enjoy more. This

30:15

last point is so big that

30:17

I have actually dedicated an entire

30:19

month within the School of Self-Image

30:22

next month to this topic. All of

30:25

March is going to be us

30:27

going through an approval detox,

30:30

letting the need of approval go

30:32

so that we can really live

30:35

our boldest most audacious

30:37

life because if you are

30:39

constantly seeking approval you are dimming your

30:41

light a hundred percent and

30:43

this is something that I coach a lot around.

30:45

A lot of

30:48

times when I'm coaching women and we dig deep we

30:50

find that it's the fear of other

30:52

people's opinions and judgment, the fear

30:55

of rejection that holds us back and

30:57

it's because we are living

30:59

an externally approval driven life

31:02

and until you clean that up you're going to hold

31:04

yourself back. You're not going to publish the blog, you're

31:06

not going to go on the Instagram

31:08

live, you're not going to go on the

31:11

date, you're not going to go after the

31:13

goal, you will continuously hold yourself back. And

31:16

so for those of you in the membership

31:18

get ready because we are going to do

31:20

some deep work on this next month and

31:23

I'm doing something that I rarely do. We

31:26

typically have all of our open and

31:28

closed dates for enrollment planned out for

31:30

the year but I was talking

31:32

to my team and I'm like listen this is

31:34

something that I want every

31:36

woman who struggles with this

31:39

to have access to and

31:41

this has been the work that has had

31:43

the biggest impact on my life in the

31:45

last several years. Like I

31:47

am so proud of who

31:50

I've become and who I continue to

31:52

become around this issue of people

31:56

pleasing, needing approval, all

31:59

of it. So we

32:01

have decided to open the doors to the

32:03

School of Self-Image for just two days. And

32:05

I think by the time you listen to this, it's

32:08

going to be the last day maybe. But

32:10

if you're listening to this on the day

32:12

it comes out, you can join us. All

32:14

you have to do is go to schoolofselfimage.com

32:17

forward slash join, get into the

32:19

membership, come join us for

32:21

the month while we go through an approval

32:23

detox. This work is

32:26

going to rock your world in the best of

32:28

ways. Hopefully

32:30

I will see you in the membership. But

32:32

if not, I hope to see you on

32:35

the next episode of the podcast. Thank

32:37

you so much for tuning in. And listen, I

32:40

would love to hear your

32:42

stories about how you are

32:44

loving and embracing your age.

32:47

So come find me on Instagram at Tanya

32:49

Lee, share with me. And

32:51

let's all decide right now

32:54

that we're just going to love the age

32:56

that we are and we're going to rock it

32:58

out. And again, I'd love

33:00

to see you in the membership. You

33:02

can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join and get in

33:04

there before we close the doors. Have

33:07

a beautiful week my friends and I will see

33:09

you on the next episode. Cheers.

33:14

I used to think happiness was a

33:16

fairy tale forever just out

33:19

of reach. I

33:21

felt stuck a lot of the time,

33:23

hopeless and like I was constantly failing

33:25

at life. But then I

33:28

discovered a simple shift or three

33:31

that changed everything. Now

33:33

I help women like you create

33:35

their own powerfully ever after. In

33:38

my free master class, you'll

33:40

learn the secrets to unshakable

33:42

desire, fearless action, and finally

33:44

believing in yourself. You

33:46

deserve a life you love.

33:48

So stop waiting and start

33:50

creating. Watch the masterclass and

33:53

unleash your inner powerhouse. You

33:55

can go to school of

33:57

self image com/after and watch. it

34:00

now.