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Today in Science from Wired Today,

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how to talk to your kids about social media and mental health If

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you give a kid a smartphone, they're going to

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want a social media account. That's

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not the start of a storybook. The

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average age for a kid getting their first smartphone

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is 10.3. Within

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a year, a child has likely made four

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or five social media accounts. By

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the age of 12, 90%

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of kids are already on social media,

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according to research by Linda Chamaromon, a

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senior research scientist who runs the Youth

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Media and Wellbeing Research Lab at Wellesley

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College. For parents

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and caregivers, the decision to let

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your youngster sign up for TikTok,

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Instagram, or Snapchat can feel

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like a daunting milestone. In

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May, the U.S. Surgeon General suggested

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that social media is contributing to

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a mental health crisis among the

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nation's youth. Around

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the world, lawmakers have been mounting pressure

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on the likes of Meta and TikTok

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to restrict the addictive design features that

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young users are subjected to. But

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social media can be valuable to young people, too.

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Digital spaces can be beneficial settings to

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build friendships and receive social support from

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peers. So if your

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kid starts asking about social media, or

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you suspect that they already have secret

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accounts, what's apparent to do? Social

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media is not inherently good or

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bad, says Chamaromon, who's His research

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focuses on adolescent development and social

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media. It's really about how

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people come to use social media, in what

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ways, and what kinds of supports they have

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to navigate it in a way that's right

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for them. It's

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absolutely possible for families to foster

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a healthy relationship with social media

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by understanding the science, starting conversations

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about social media and mental health,

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and setting boundaries on security settings

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and screen use. Here's how

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to get started, whether your kid is 17 or

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approaching the age of 10.3. It's

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still too soon to determine any

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long-term effects of social media on

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youth mental health, says Charmaraman. She

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encourages parents to take a critical

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look at the popular studies that

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draw correlations between teens' social media

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use and negative outcomes like depression

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and anxiety. When you

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actually look at the statistical weight of how

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much we can explain the rise in rates

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of mental health difficulties due to social media

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or technology use, it's less

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than 1%, she says. Correlation

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studies might also discount larger

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forces that contribute to mental

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health difficulties, like socioeconomic status

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or family relationships. For

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example, if a child is in a

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household where parents argue frequently, the child

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may turn to social media more often

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to seek support or distraction. That

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doesn't mean social media is the problem.

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More restrictions on social media don't

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correlate to a happier child either,

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also important to understand that much of

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the current research on social media and

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families. There's still more

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to be learned about how social

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media impacts non-white, LGBT, and

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neurodivergent youth or youth in

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unstable housing situations. In

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other words, there's no scientifically proven

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one size fits all social media

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rule. Tailor the following

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guidelines to your family and your kids and

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be ready to adapt them as your kids

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grow older and their situations change. Don't

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be afraid to set different guidelines for siblings too.

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Kids in the same family could have different needs.

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You might wanna start earlier than you think.

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Don't assume that your kid isn't

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already on social media says Charmaraman,

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especially if your child has an older

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sibling or friends with older siblings. It's

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likely that they've engaged with social media

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in some way. Charmaraman

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recommends initiating a conversation about social

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media when a child is in

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late elementary or middle school, then

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gradually onboarding them onto social media

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with a lot of structure, rules,

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and oversight at first. It's

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easier to be proactive about social media guidelines

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than to try to undo bad habits that

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have been. cemented over years. Prepare

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as opposed to repair, she says. If

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you have an older teen, not all hope is lost,

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but more on that later. To

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onboard your kid, start with the highest level

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of scrutiny and security over their social media

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use, then gradually loosen the reins as the

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child gets older. Open

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up the social media app that your child is

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interested in and look through the menu of settings

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together. Have a conversation with

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your child about how the platform works,

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what kinds of security settings and parameters

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make sense at the moment, who should

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be allowed to message your child. If

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a child is younger, you might consider having

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access to the account's password as well. You

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might also set up an app's in-house

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parental controls. That way,

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if your child encounters violent, sexual,

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or other inappropriate content, you can

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intervene more quickly. As

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a child gets older and earns more

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trust, parents can loosen restrictions on safety

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settings. If the child shows

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that they are not yet able to self-regulate

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the healthy time they're spending on social media,

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add more restrictions. Charmaromon

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recommends the onboarding approach rather

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than banning social media outright.

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Kids can find ways around restrictions,

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and more seriously, they'll likely hold

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back if something bad happens to them

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online. How can

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you tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy

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use of social media? Charmaromon

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says there's no magic number for screen

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time limits. Some kids can

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use their phones healthily for several hours

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if they're searching for information or interacting

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with friends. Other kids

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tend toward more problematic behaviors, so they

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would benefit from more guardrails around screen

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time. Sarah Domoff, an

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assistant professor at the University of Albany,

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State University of New York, suggests

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that as parents observe their kids'

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social media use, they look into

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three broad categories. The

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content your child encounters. You

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won't be able to block all potentially

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inappropriate content on the internet from your

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child, so it's important to know how

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your child responds. continue

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to engage with content that's potentially

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harmful, stressful, or untrue? If

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they're having unhealthy responses to what they

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see on social media, consider

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more restrictions. If your child

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is able to recognize and bypass inappropriate

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content, they can be more independent. When

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social media is being used, the

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research shows that sometimes of day

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may matter more than others, Domov

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says. If screens interfere

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with sleep or schoolwork, consider

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having a conversation with your child about

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changing the timing of social media use

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so it doesn't interfere with other activities

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that keep them well. Vulnerabilities

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that are specific to your child. Some

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youth may be more vulnerable to certain

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kinds of content or interactions that exacerbate

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mental health concerns. Use

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these three categories to guide the conversations you

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have with your kids about social media. It's

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important to acknowledge that it's developmentally

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appropriate for teens to need some privacy

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from their parents as they explore their

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identities. If you decide to follow

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what your teen is doing online, make

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sure your teen is aware of it. Frame

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your actions transparently, says Domov. Try

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to tell them, because I'm concerned about your safety,

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I will be checking your content. Or

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I understand there are things that you may not

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want me to see, I'm just concerned about you

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being safe. What

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if your child is an older teen with

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social media accounts, known to you or otherwise?

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It's never too late to start

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a conversation, says Eliza Copans, a

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rising junior at Brown University and

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co-founder of Technically Politics, an organization

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that collects youth stories about social

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media and advocates for legislative reform.

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She says it's important for adults to validate

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the importance of social media to teens. Don't

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frame it as a waste of time and acknowledge

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that online friendships can be just as valuable as

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those made in real life. Come

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from a place of curiosity, says Copans.

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Rather than making assumptions, ask your teen how

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they're using social media and how social media

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is making them feel and start from the

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end. there. Domoff

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recommends weaving conversations about social

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media into your daily conversations.

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Treat it as informally as asking them

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how school went. Just as you want

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to be the person your kids come to when they have a

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fight with a friend, you want to

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