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S2 EP10: the 10 laws of self obsession | how to be self obsessed

S2 EP10: the 10 laws of self obsession | how to be self obsessed

Released Wednesday, 29th May 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
S2 EP10: the 10 laws of self obsession | how to be self obsessed

S2 EP10: the 10 laws of self obsession | how to be self obsessed

S2 EP10: the 10 laws of self obsession | how to be self obsessed

S2 EP10: the 10 laws of self obsession | how to be self obsessed

Wednesday, 29th May 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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even sat down with really incredible guests

1:00

for the first time ever, and this is also

1:02

going to continue in season three. I can honestly

1:05

say I've learned so much from my experience with

1:07

interviewing these guests, and I hope you guys have

1:09

too. But now it's time for

1:11

you all to take everything you've learned this

1:13

season and apply it to your own life.

1:15

I want to come back next season and

1:18

see some major progress and growth from all

1:20

of you. And for that reason, we are

1:22

ending this season once again with the 10

1:24

laws of being self-obsessed. Just

1:27

to go over the topics we've learned so

1:29

far to refresh your memory and to

1:31

really ingrain all of these lessons within

1:33

you while giving you practical steps so

1:35

that you can become the best version

1:37

of yourself before season three even launches.

1:40

And just a quick note, I will

1:42

be back to record season three in

1:45

July, but you can keep up with

1:47

the actual announcement and launch day on

1:49

the self-obsessed podcast Instagram page,

1:51

where we share all of our

1:53

updates as well as daily, inspo

1:55

and motivational content. Before we

1:57

get into it, be sure to check out my personal insta-

2:00

Com as well at the preorder linked to

2:02

myself A but that's coming out in literally

2:04

it's a few months now is available to

2:06

pre order on Amazon along with both of

2:08

my Easy Tunnels and also my face with

2:11

Page as they would Page with a group

2:13

called Self Obsessed Society where everyone is talking

2:15

to to the right now and making Buzzy

2:17

said us I love it but for now

2:19

let's go into it. Law One. Stop.

2:22

Chasing and start attracting. We already know the

2:24

energy of seizing can be very damaging because

2:26

it gives you confidence and we're trying to

2:29

be the best version of ourselves against so

2:31

com it as a lot of the core

2:33

of that saying that come from a blaze

2:35

of desperation and attachment and when you actively

2:38

choose your dream or she's in a the

2:40

person you're coming from a place of desperation

2:42

and you're basically telling the universe that you

2:45

don't think you're going to be able to

2:47

get the on your own and you're not

2:49

deserving of to society and your life and

2:51

also. You're unsure of yourself and your

2:54

abilities when you're not relaxed about your

2:56

goals and desires and instead you are

2:58

chasing. That means he feel the need

3:00

to plan a can stress and and

3:03

you kind of of this mindset of

3:05

like I have to commit every single

3:07

second of my life to pursuing this

3:09

thing and I can't afford to rise

3:12

because wife I don't get it. it's

3:14

us scarcity mindsets and at the end

3:16

of the day you receive what you

3:18

believe and facing is an insecure or

3:21

belief. The. Key to

3:23

becoming self obsessed is the understanding

3:25

the right things are always gonna

3:27

naturally line with use once you

3:29

realize you were the of receiving

3:32

it and not links into self

3:34

confidence. When you chase things, you

3:36

lower your vibration because you're focusing

3:38

on fair which is in the

3:41

five lowest emotional states of consciousness

3:43

and this stops you from living

3:45

life and the moment where you

3:47

know you could be experiencing gratitude,

3:50

satisfaction and happiness. Chasing.

3:52

Creates a certain set of self beliefs,

3:54

they can impact your confidence and what

3:56

you think you're worthy of, so, for

3:58

example, let's. You're dating someone

4:01

who is company in that al year. And

4:04

you feel like what they don't actually bucks.

4:06

How can I make them like me? How

4:08

should I dressed for the day? Or you

4:10

know, how should I phrases text messages I'm

4:12

sending to them. That is a very nice

4:14

example by the way of something. and it's

4:17

leads to do when I felt insecure and

4:19

I was dating at the same time I'd

4:21

because you're coming from displays of need, neediness

4:23

and waiting for somebody else to validate you

4:25

got thing is never going to come to

4:27

ethnicity because you to actually believe it will

4:29

So. How do we fix this kind

4:32

of the day? Tasting is simply a

4:34

mindset and the way to change. This

4:36

is to instead and body the energy

4:38

that you think you're going to have

4:40

when you get the thing that you

4:42

will so desperately trying to pursue when

4:44

you align yourself with the minds of

4:46

the person who already has these things.

4:49

Then you start attracting all these feelings,

4:51

this positive feelings and realize that whatever

4:53

you want is already on his way

4:55

to use to. Then you adopt a

4:57

more com and. Secure. Approach

4:59

about your goals and then you have a

5:02

heightened ability to be able to attract more

5:04

things into a life because you're coming from

5:06

a place of i did their best. I

5:08

really think this way I know this is

5:11

coming to me and I don't need to

5:13

commit every single second of my life to

5:15

mess it messes as leave running. I'm for

5:17

it. When you chase you will So focused

5:20

on the future and what you're missing right

5:22

now. Once again scarcity mindset that you'd miss

5:24

out on the abundances white front of you

5:26

and is grasping the abundance that allows you.

5:29

To adopt the correct a mindset because

5:31

when you get the thing you're chasing.

5:33

You. Like all be so abundant in love

5:35

and life in my goals and finances. As

5:38

a you need to bring that future feeling

5:40

into your present. Law

5:42

to is. To. Live

5:45

a healthy lifestyle so that you

5:47

can become more competent in your

5:49

body's just like we discussed in

5:52

episode two with Carolina in this

5:54

season. So while you're so busy

5:56

criticizing yourself, About your

5:59

body type. About. Whether you ain't

6:01

good enough that day, there is someone

6:03

out that flying to change our parents

6:05

to look like you. And I say

6:07

this because insecurities and these standards of

6:09

beauty, it's have no validity whatsoever. What

6:12

A? Based on opinions, opinions, and fashion

6:14

trends that change all the damn time.

6:16

So really, what's the point in trying

6:18

to keep up with what the media

6:20

or other people are saying is the

6:23

ideal body type to look good and

6:25

not because while he looked in the

6:27

mirror and you hate your slim frame

6:29

and. You're trying to have more cars

6:31

or not look so quote flat there

6:34

was another go at that too is

6:36

so desperately trying to same down like

6:38

because that on negative things that everything

6:40

will pass is going to say about

6:42

a body because the media's profits of

6:44

of keeping us in secure and the

6:46

reason I say this is because while

6:48

you say something about your body to

6:50

somebody else is trying to get the

6:53

exact same quantity there is beauty in

6:55

every single body types and one thing

6:57

that carrying a taught me as well

6:59

with fixing. Body image and your competence

7:01

is that your relationship with food has

7:03

a direct impact on how you feel

7:06

and how you see yourself as other.

7:08

Does galleys stay prioritizing I health because

7:10

he is directly linked to a self

7:13

growth, our mental health especially it's and

7:15

our confidence. One thing I've that on

7:17

my own food any as well like

7:19

I feel like this is so overlooked

7:22

with how the food that you can

7:24

see him at impacts your mindset, it

7:26

plays a really large role in your

7:29

home is so. We have happy hormones

7:31

like Day for me and and serotonin

7:33

and by eating a healthy diet and

7:35

staying away from processed foods as much

7:37

as you can you obesity sucking these

7:40

happy hormones because you are giving your

7:42

body the nutrients that nice The more

7:44

that you can see imposes foods you

7:46

can see literally google this or a

7:48

studies on how this will height in

7:50

court so if within the body. But

7:53

aside from this eating good and eating

7:55

healthily and nursing a bloody and eating

7:57

three full meals a day and smacking

7:59

him. Mean it everywhere. To eat more

8:01

fruits and vegetables is so important because it

8:03

grows that strong relationships yourself. At the end

8:05

of the day you are still your younger

8:07

self and if you repairing yourself in this

8:10

way when you wake up every single day

8:12

and you make sure you eat food for

8:14

every single meal and that you're taking care

8:16

of and that you're not having girls and

8:18

as you're utterly it's fully nourishing your body,

8:20

you are playing Uma time and assets to

8:22

make these. Nourishing. And

8:24

delicious home cooked meal. Field Ops the

8:27

is an act of self, cat and

8:29

self love that you are putting towards

8:31

yourself. Aside from this. There's.

8:33

So much to love about yourself and

8:35

you are only other going to learn

8:37

to see those things when you stop

8:39

identifying with the negative image of your

8:41

body because your purpose in life much

8:43

more than was you look like on

8:45

the outside what your appearance is to

8:47

others, you are more than your. body.

8:49

to body is simply a vessel that

8:51

has given you the blessing to be

8:53

able to move and to be able

8:55

to physically experiences. And I think exposure

8:58

therapy is so important when it comes

9:00

to accepting yourself because a lot of

9:02

time we feel insecure or. About.

9:04

Our bodies because we're not seeing our bodies

9:06

what they are. So let's say if you're

9:08

looking at your body numero when you point

9:10

out the on you're not seeing it for

9:12

what it is. You're thinking of all of

9:14

the images as to what it should be.

9:16

So let's say you but nobody can dress

9:18

and you're like oh my god my buddies

9:20

is not a little bit should be flight

9:22

should be this my but should be biggest

9:24

My on should be skinny ass while my

9:26

size so skinny fellow rock. Show.

9:28

Never looking at what that is and so

9:30

how can you have a appreciate the body

9:33

that you have been given? When in your

9:35

said all you can see is the body

9:37

you should be. And the body

9:39

you have is always been at full saw

9:41

in comparison. Because you're not even more visually

9:43

mentally seeing a body that is yours you're

9:46

setting yourself up for failure and you a

9:48

self sabotaging by giving yourself new insecurities and

9:50

say one thing that means her Nina land

9:52

was that the more that use that you're

9:54

naked bodies the higher that you com this

9:57

can grow because you can finally replace that

9:59

image of. You should look like to

10:01

accept why you are right now and

10:03

you can literally challenge yourself. you know,

10:05

on the Thursday before you and the

10:07

salad stereo naked body for a minute

10:09

and a week later claimed build up

10:11

to five minutes, Ten minutes and so

10:13

you look in the mirror and you

10:15

can stop pointing out everything you appreciate

10:17

about your body. and that does not

10:20

just have to be physically, that can

10:22

be. Oh My. God. these hands had

10:24

created so many things. These legs have

10:26

gotten me so many places. There were

10:28

so much to be grateful about. Law

10:30

Three. Embrace your authenticity and given

10:32

right now because it's others afghanis of

10:34

trendsetters, not to and followers and we

10:36

know that being and it girl is

10:39

a mindset saved more than it is

10:41

about the clothes you wear, of the

10:43

way that you look when you chased

10:46

validation from outside sources and she's to

10:48

change yourself to fit in with trends

10:50

or well as a society deems acceptable

10:52

you as you doing a disservice to

10:55

authentic self. You're basically saying the you're

10:57

afraid to stand up and believe be

10:59

yourself. Because it doesn't fit in with what

11:02

everyone else is doing. Think.

11:04

About I for a second and

11:07

to mean. Dot is a

11:09

form of cells seat. Individuality,

11:11

Is all about falling in love with

11:13

the fact that you didn't say in

11:16

and there is no better way to

11:18

become more self obsessed than Trudy loving

11:20

all sides of you even if people

11:22

think it's different later. Like if you

11:24

guys know I love when I am

11:26

disliked because he is living proof that

11:28

I am being authentic. It every single

11:30

person likes you. it means that you

11:32

up pleasing other people annual fitting into

11:34

the books that they have made of

11:36

you and then had to keep themselves

11:39

more comfortable because gonna our heads. doing

11:41

big things and expressing yourself and an

11:43

authentic way because at the end of

11:45

the day being authentic is going to

11:47

trigger other people sometimes it will trigger

11:49

them positively by taking inspiration or liking

11:52

the way that you tunnel your energy

11:54

and it will encourage them to do

11:56

it in their own way or able

11:58

to get people negative Which is

12:00

what causes people to dislike you and so in

12:03

my opinion That's actually a really good thing and

12:05

it's proved that you're doing something right The

12:08

more self-obsessed you become the more you will

12:10

want to find out about yourself So

12:12

what do you like? What are your hobbies? What

12:15

do you enjoy doing the most? All of

12:17

these questions will prompt you to dig deeper

12:19

to find out what you personally like instead

12:21

of what everyone else is telling you To

12:23

like living in your authenticity

12:25

is such a powerful thing Not only

12:28

for yourself success journey But for others

12:30

too because it will give people the

12:32

confidence to actually be themselves just from

12:34

you being yourself around them on top

12:36

Of that it will attract the right

12:38

company and circle into your life and

12:40

I can vouch face because it's exactly

12:42

how I got my current Friendship group

12:44

who are so aligned to me and

12:46

help me feel so fulfilled in this

12:48

life when I was so focused on

12:50

being the easy Going nice girl and

12:52

honestly, I was also just unaware of

12:54

who I was I kept

12:56

getting myself into the wrong situations with

12:59

the wrong people law for change

13:01

your perception of being alone Because

13:04

there is going to be so many moments

13:06

on your self-growth journey and your journey to

13:08

becoming your best self where you may experience

13:11

Solitude and being alone for a

13:13

certain period of time where you feel like

13:15

you know You're making a shift or a

13:17

transition to the next phase or the next

13:19

era of your life maybe you're gonna cut

13:21

things out people out or move

13:24

away to another mindset

13:26

or situation and changing

13:29

the way you view being alone is Very

13:32

crucial at this stage a lot

13:34

of people think that being alone means you're lonely,

13:36

but that is so far from the truth Loneliness

13:39

is simply the absence of yourself

13:43

Solitude is the same thing. You're still

13:45

alone, but it's simply the mindset is

13:47

just simply shifted. It's switched Solitude

13:50

is when you are grateful for the process of

13:52

being alone Loneliness is when

13:55

you are so far detached and disconnected

13:57

from yourself that you cannot even appreciate

13:59

those. The core important moments

14:01

of being alone. Loneliness.

14:04

Is when you place all of your happiness

14:07

and fulfillment on to others. And solitude is

14:09

when you give your happiness and fulfillment bucks

14:11

yourself. So for example, if you're lonely, you're

14:13

going to wait for someone to take you

14:16

out. You're gonna complain all the time, but

14:18

not having a partner you will going to

14:20

miss out on the most amazing experiences because

14:22

you're scared to do them alone. What? People

14:25

Going to think? What people judge me? What's

14:27

I let let alone in public. But.

14:29

When you embrace your solitude. You

14:31

will make those experiences happened for yourself.

14:34

Because you know you deserve them. It's

14:36

an act of self love to go

14:38

out that an experience like right now

14:40

you will take your thoughts on Saturday.

14:42

it's you will by yourself. The damn

14:44

flowers hello book reference. You will travel

14:47

annual the all the things you want

14:49

to the do. This is exactly how

14:51

you pull the love that you would

14:53

want from another person it back into

14:55

yourself. The key to becoming self as

14:57

as is making sure you dedicate time

14:59

to invest in yourself and to maintain

15:02

a relationship you have with yourself. Being

15:04

able to spend time on your own, actually

15:06

be able to enjoy your company is a

15:08

privilege that not many people get to experience.

15:10

Because we are we grow up For me

15:12

out what the complete opposites to wait to

15:14

make the right friend to make sure that

15:16

you have a partner and we never taught

15:19

how to spend time alone to the point

15:21

that so many of us think it's wrong

15:23

to sit in a restaurant alone, but you

15:25

get to six that mindset when you use

15:27

exposure therapy to go. And. Eat out

15:29

on your own. And not trashy might be

15:31

looking at you and the more times you do

15:34

s the feather com since he will build with

15:36

it you can go to the cinema you can

15:38

create memories yourself in any way that mean something

15:40

to yourself. You know you can like do a

15:42

sip and paint at home but something I would

15:45

like to do as well. Is

15:47

to invest myself in other ways see

15:49

does Now I am Saturday in Queen

15:51

Isaac myself literally everywhere even just myself

15:53

to New York the the weeks A

15:55

by myself and but I love to

15:58

play day to day regularly. I am

16:00

finding some alone I am but investing

16:02

in my knowledge and the my skills

16:04

so I read so development book that

16:06

literally all the time. I'm one of

16:08

my in New Years resolutions for trained

16:10

for people with the lemony language and

16:13

so I started taking Lingo.language classes back

16:15

in December and I've been doing it

16:17

ever since like I was so consistent

16:19

with it in January February especially and

16:21

this podcast episode has actually been brought

16:23

to you blaming go down the days

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of you don't know Lingo To is

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actually an online language school for busy.

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People who are serious about learning a new

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language and lingo to provide the ultimate flexibility

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with the way that that website is laid

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then then a place that suits you and

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this was so good for me I never

16:45

thought I would be the have the time

16:47

to let any language and I've always wanted

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to than friends I would eat out with

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and it previously I really needed to refresh

16:54

my knowledge on s so like I was

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out here taking classes at Ten Eleven p

16:58

m at night which was amazing. I've been

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attending Lingo to small group classes for

17:03

around six months now. I'm because the

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Be lessons never have more than five

17:07

students are here like I actually got

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a lot of opportunities to speak French

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in every single class and his focus

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on speaking along with the past or

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feedback you get from your professional teach

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make such as progress towards my goal

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I love the way the truth is

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sure that I can get as much knowledge

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and as much experience out of this life

18:53

as I possibly can because personally that's my

18:55

goal and my mindset when it comes to

18:57

this. The fifth law of self-obsession is of

19:00

course to practice manifestation which I've spoken about

19:02

for so long on my YouTube. It's so

19:04

important. It's changed my life in so many

19:06

ways and we also discussed it in detail

19:08

in this season with our special guest Roxy

19:11

Nafusi. Manifestation is

19:14

my favorite thing. You need to start

19:16

using the power of your mind to

19:18

be able to change who you currently

19:20

are. We hold so much power within

19:22

ourselves without actually needing to do anything

19:25

physically. Manifestation is one

19:27

of the most important self-development

19:29

practices because at its core

19:31

it's actually all about self-worth,

19:33

self-reception and self-love. I

19:36

also have in-depth individual episodes on how to master

19:38

all of those things along with videos in my

19:40

YouTube channel. You manifest

19:42

what you believe you're worthy of

19:45

having. Manifestation is about understanding

19:47

that you are worthy of everything

19:49

you aspire to have from happiness

19:51

to love to success whatever you

19:53

like. When I

19:55

look back at my life I realized that

19:58

I wouldn't have the life I have right now. if

20:00

I didn't manifest and actually envision it.

20:02

Because I used to be a victim

20:04

of self-doubt big time. And you can

20:06

see self-doubt as manifestation's biggest enemy. And

20:10

I struggled with it so much that I would actually

20:12

sometimes just cry because I was

20:14

so overwhelmed with where I wanted to go. And

20:16

I was so plagued by this negative belief system.

20:18

I wouldn't be able to get there. My dreams

20:20

were too big until I consciously decided to change

20:22

it. So I made a vision board and I

20:24

would stare at it for two minutes every single

20:26

morning. At nighttime when I

20:29

fell asleep, I would visualize all of those

20:31

goals coming to life and me actually being

20:33

in those scenarios, seeing it out and achieving

20:35

them. Anytime I found

20:38

myself doubting myself or having like

20:40

negative speech patterns such as what if I

20:43

can't do this, what if it doesn't work

20:45

out, I would immediately switch it. And on

20:47

top of this, my favorite tip to really

20:50

help you get self-obsessed and master manifestation on

20:52

this journey is that thinking

20:54

and envisioning the life you want, yes, it is

20:56

helpful. But the best,

20:58

most efficient step to this is

21:01

that you actually have to align yourself

21:04

to the life you aspire to have. What

21:06

do I mean by this? So a really

21:08

niche example is, as a content

21:10

creator, I'm always taking pictures, taking videos of myself,

21:12

et cetera. And a lot of the time I

21:14

have to do that in public, especially on my

21:16

vlog YouTube channel where I show you guys how

21:18

I spend my life. I'm walking in the streets

21:21

and I'm videoing, or I'll be sitting in a

21:23

restaurant alone on a solo date, which already

21:26

might be a little bit awkward. And then I'm

21:28

getting out a little tripod and a camera and

21:30

putting it on a table when there are people

21:33

sat on tables next to me and they fully

21:35

stare, like fully. If you watch some of my

21:37

vlogs, you can see story times of times that

21:39

people have pointed at me and laughed or said

21:41

something, or just, you can see people staring at

21:44

me basically. And when

21:46

I started out with this, I felt very

21:48

self-conscious and very uncomfortable and like I was

21:50

taking up too much space. My body was

21:52

literally having this fight or flight response but

21:54

I just wanted to put the camera out

21:56

immediately because it was just too nerve-wracking and

21:58

I didn't like being stared at. And then

22:00

I realized, where do I want to go? I

22:03

want to get to a million subscribers, which by the

22:05

way, I literally just achieved the other week. I

22:08

used to think, I want to grow

22:10

my YouTube channel. I want to be

22:12

a huge content creator. I want hundreds

22:14

of thousands of views. And

22:16

these are all of my other goals of where I need to get to. Let's

22:19

say I was there right now, how would I be filming

22:21

in public? How would I feel about it? How confident would

22:23

I be? Would I care what anybody else

22:26

has to say about it? No, because it's my career

22:28

and I'm successful at it. And I would act like

22:30

I already had the million subscribers because that

22:32

in itself is validating, right? And

22:35

I thought, if I want to get to

22:37

where I want to get to, that version

22:39

of myself wouldn't even have a second thought

22:41

about what anybody else has to think. She

22:43

would be so immersed in her craft and

22:45

making sure that the video came out so

22:48

perfect that she didn't have to worry about

22:50

anything else. And so I started aligning myself

22:52

to that version of myself. The person who

22:54

was so assured in their successes and had

22:56

achieved everything she wanted that it

22:58

got rid of all of those nerves in that

23:01

present moment before I achieved any

23:03

of those other things. Law six

23:05

is about becoming comfortable with feeling

23:07

lost. This step is all

23:09

about learning how to reprogram the way

23:11

you view uncertainty and getting comfortable with

23:13

the feeling of being lost because this

23:15

is actually a crucial step in your

23:18

journey, guys. It's literally the step that

23:20

you need to cross to get to

23:22

success. There's no avoiding it. There

23:25

is a lot of pressure in society today to

23:27

have it all figured out, especially in your 20s.

23:30

And the truth is none of us actually have it figured

23:32

all out. We're all

23:34

just trying things. Sometimes it sticks, sometimes

23:36

it doesn't, and everyone has a different

23:38

timeline in which some people find the

23:40

solution quicker and other people find it

23:42

a little bit later. Both scenarios is

23:45

completely fine. This

23:47

Law is so important because on your journey to

23:49

becoming self-obsessed, there will be so many moments where

23:51

you are going to have to stop and figure

23:53

out what you have to do next. Or You

23:55

would have just tried something and it's completely failed

23:57

and now you don't know what to do. And

24:00

you may have seasons in your life

24:02

where things aren't going how you envision

24:04

they would. and you find yourself comparing.

24:07

Comparing. Yourself to who you thought

24:09

you would be a certain stage and

24:12

because of this is so important to

24:14

get yourself out the mindset of comparison

24:16

not only when you consistently compare yourself

24:18

to others which literally makes no sense

24:20

because they have different life paths and

24:22

different goals and different mindsets and were

24:25

born in two different circumstances so you

24:27

are never going to get anything good

24:29

from Can Barrios of the other people

24:31

but also I feel and what we

24:33

really full you know like into the

24:35

trap of feeling lost and like failures.

24:38

Is thinking all when I'm twenty six so

24:40

I should be here now or I'm twenty

24:42

two So I should have done this by

24:44

now and it say Linda to even come

24:46

up with these standards for your life When

24:48

you were a child. A couple

24:50

years ago when you when he that

24:52

in this environment will situation yes when

24:54

you hadn't even stepped out to experience

24:57

the wells yes you will comparing yourself

24:59

with ideas that.beijing of yourself. Made.

25:01

Up. And that is

25:04

incredibly unfair. You are out here doing

25:06

a damn thing, experiencing life for the

25:08

first time might I add and trying

25:10

your best every single day. And they

25:12

really you should only ever be comparing

25:15

yourself to how you did yesterday Ceiling

25:17

last and in certain is such a

25:19

powerful moment where you funny discover so

25:21

much about yourself and is also the

25:23

moment that you start a new chapter

25:26

or new version of yourself because when

25:28

you will lost you finally falling away

25:30

from these unrealistic expectations that you set

25:32

on yourself. when you were younger. and

25:35

now you're like well that didn't work or that

25:37

isn't a line from anymore so now i don't

25:39

know what the how to do with a good

25:41

you need to lean into the what the

25:43

how do i need to do this because that

25:46

means now you're actually saying presence and you're

25:48

making a new decisions and thinking in different ways

25:50

to what you thought you should have always

25:52

done or what your parents try to make you

25:54

think that you should do when your loss you

25:56

have all of this power to start fresh

25:58

and you're about to yourself in

26:01

what you are able to achieve. When

26:04

you frame your mindset to view being lost

26:06

as a positive thing you open yourself up

26:08

to so many new creative ways of achieving

26:10

the life you want to live. You

26:13

need, as Gemma said in

26:15

our podcast together, you need to stop

26:18

trying to imagine what your life looks

26:20

like down to every detail and

26:22

instead you need to imagine what you want

26:24

your life to feel like on an average

26:26

Monday afternoon in 30 years time.

26:29

You don't need to worry about what house is it going

26:31

to be and what wedding is it going to be and

26:33

how big is my bank account going to be. While

26:36

they're all good questions, okay, but they take time

26:38

to figure out and they take time to work

26:40

towards. If you just tap into

26:43

that, what makes me happy when I wake up

26:45

in the morning? What is my favorite ritual

26:47

when I go to bed? What are a few things

26:49

I need to have every single week to make sure

26:51

that my mental health is at its best? For example,

26:53

I need to see my friends twice a week. I

26:55

need to go on a solo date once

26:57

a morning or once a week. I

27:00

need to try new food. I need to make

27:02

time for art, whatever it is that

27:04

means something to you that contributes

27:06

to your happiness. Law seven is

27:08

to use adversity to your advantage

27:10

because your challenges that you experience

27:13

in life can help you become a better

27:15

person. Changing your perception

27:18

of adversity and hardship is one of

27:20

the most important steps in my opinion

27:22

to becoming more self-obsessed because I

27:24

have gained so much peace in whatever happens in

27:26

my life because I know it's all a part

27:28

of the plot. Nothing is happening

27:30

to me. It's always happening for me. One

27:32

of the biggest lessons I've learned so far

27:35

this year is when you are working to

27:37

create your dream life and manifesting

27:39

your goals, you won't magically get what

27:41

you want. You will

27:43

instead get the journey that will turn you

27:45

into the type of person you want to become.

27:49

You don't get, let's say you're trying to

27:51

manifest a million pounds, you're

27:54

not gonna get a million pounds that falls into your lap the

27:56

next week but the universe gives

27:58

you the journey, the steps, the experience, the

28:00

wins and the failures That

28:03

will turn you into the type of person

28:05

that can become a millionaire and just that

28:07

in itself really helps you reframe what

28:10

adversities actually mean because Growing

28:12

up and so many of us do this like

28:14

bad things happen and you think oh my god

28:16

life isn't there Or I worked so

28:18

hard for this why did I not get it? I

28:20

was manifesting this this for so long Why is nothing

28:22

happening to me? It is happening

28:25

for you You just can't see it yet that

28:27

frame got taken away that breakup happened

28:30

You've got rejected from that thing it is redirecting you

28:32

to what you wish you can get But

28:35

you're just not gonna get it in the way you think

28:37

you're gonna get it and this is why I always believe

28:39

in trusting The process and when adversities come into my life.

28:41

I know that always gonna do me a favor They

28:44

always give me a glove up. They

28:46

always make me smarter hotter even richer.

28:48

So I welcome them I

28:51

am such a big believer in Seeing

28:53

all of my blessings in

28:55

my adversities Whenever you go

28:57

through bad things in life, you need to stop

28:59

asking yourself Why is this happening to me and

29:01

instead ask yourself? What can I learn from this? And

29:04

what can I take from this? These

29:06

are the questions that are gonna help you step away

29:08

from a scarcity mindset in your life and feel so

29:11

Unlucky and instead it will

29:13

help you so much on yourself growth journey By

29:16

asking yourself these things you're actively

29:18

shifting your mindset and you're building

29:20

resilience and Wisdom so

29:22

that you can defeat similar situations that

29:25

may happen again in the future Which

29:27

helps you become stronger and smarter in

29:29

leveling the F up Everything

29:32

given to you good or bad Unfair

29:35

or unfair was needed

29:37

and required to help you

29:39

reach your final destination Being

29:43

your goals and your dream life Law

29:46

8 you need to

29:48

change your relationship with money just

29:51

like I discussed in depth with

29:53

Simran core episode 8 of Season

29:56

2 of self obsessed podcast self obsessed

29:58

curlies are all about becoming financially wiser

30:00

and smarter with our money, which is

30:02

why changing your relationship with money is

30:04

such a game changer on this journey.

30:07

There are so many trends out there

30:09

about being a soft life girlie, princess

30:11

treatment, finding a rich man, him

30:13

solving all of your problems and there

30:15

is good in those ideas, some

30:18

good just like there are in a lot

30:20

of trends but they are not the answers

30:22

to life. I feel as

30:24

though these trends are setting us back

30:26

because there is something so powerful about

30:29

achieving your goals and achieving financial

30:31

freedom as a woman because it gives you the

30:33

freedom to pursue your goals and dreams and man,

30:35

the man that you actually want with

30:37

emotional intelligence and all the qualities you wish for without

30:40

having to worry about relying on

30:42

others for financial stability. I have

30:45

spent years learning to improve my

30:48

financial literacy and one

30:50

woman who continues to inspire me in this

30:52

journey is Simran herself and

30:54

after speaking to her I learned that a

30:56

lot of the beliefs and narratives we have

30:58

around money can be inherited. So

31:01

if you grew up with parents who felt

31:03

like they never had enough money, that life

31:05

was really unfair, that they were just dealt

31:07

a bad card, that money is something to

31:09

be afraid of, you were gonna grow up

31:12

with the same mindset even if your circumstances

31:14

are different and so it's important

31:16

to let go of the false narratives we've

31:18

been told when it comes to money to

31:20

instead consciously build a money mindset

31:23

that benefits us and allows us to

31:25

attract more money into our life. Going

31:28

from a poor girls mindset to a

31:30

rich girl mindset is all about changing

31:32

your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Thinking

31:35

you're going to reach your financial goals

31:38

by simply cutting back on expenses, saving

31:40

a little bit extra

31:42

every single month is not going to give you

31:44

financial abundance but actively

31:46

improving your financial literacy

31:48

by reading, learning and

31:50

investing will get you there. Examples

31:53

of these if you live in the UK

31:55

is using an ISAR, investing in your pension,

31:57

using budgeting apps or going to a business

32:00

great to be able to see where your

32:02

money is going and they're not focused so

32:04

much on saving such a large part of

32:06

it, although saving is important, but redirecting a

32:08

lot of it into other investments. Maybe you

32:10

want to be an angel investor, maybe you

32:12

want to invest in art or the stock

32:14

market like I do. Law 9 is all

32:16

about taking yourself love to the next level.

32:19

When you deeply love yourself, it shows in every

32:22

single thing you do. And this self

32:24

love allows us to step outside of our comfort

32:26

zones, take risks and pursue our dreams with love.

32:30

Loving yourself is not just about

32:32

regular self care, solo dates and

32:34

going to Pilates. And

32:36

I think social media has made it seem as

32:38

though it is and that it's super cute and

32:40

like this aesthetic trend, but it's actually so much

32:42

deeper than that. And it can be difficult

32:45

and filled with obstacles and

32:47

that makes it even

32:49

more worth your while because that's where growth happens

32:52

when you're uncomfortable. So a really good example of

32:55

taking yourself love to the next level is,

32:57

okay, yeah, you go on solo dates because

32:59

it helps with your independence and detaching from

33:01

male validation and it builds your confidence. We

33:03

love that. It's so important. But

33:06

why do we fear being judged in the first

33:08

place on these holidays? How

33:11

can we fix that limiting belief system? Why

33:13

are we placing other people's validation over our

33:15

own? Why is this triggering

33:17

us this experience of sitting alone in public?

33:20

Those are just examples of questions you can

33:23

ask yourself in that situation to allow space

33:25

for some self discovery to level up to

33:27

the next version of yourself because you are

33:29

getting rid of these negative beliefs that are

33:32

holding you back. Another example

33:34

is, okay, you had a bubble bath last

33:36

night and you did yourself care cute. Maybe

33:39

let's spend the next morning since we've already

33:41

done that doing some shadow work and

33:43

discovering our shadow self. Our shadow

33:45

self is a part of ourselves

33:48

that we are not fully

33:50

aware of and we cannot fully see because it

33:52

contains all of these triggers and

33:54

all of these parts that we have been taught

33:57

to be ashamed of. struggle

34:00

to accept so we hide it away and

34:03

because we're not fully aware of this if

34:05

we see these parts of

34:07

ourselves and other people and other things it will cause

34:09

us to have a larger reaction

34:11

or be triggered so let's say

34:14

that you see someone videoing

34:16

themselves in public and you don't like it and you're

34:18

like oh my god that's so cringe why are they

34:21

doing that that's actually showing you

34:23

a part of yourself that needs to be

34:25

healed and that's a really good depiction of

34:27

self-love being like why is this triggering

34:29

me why is this bothering me oh maybe

34:31

this is a part of my shadow self who

34:33

doesn't feel comfortable enough to put myself in that

34:35

environment which is why I am being triggered by

34:38

somebody else doing it so

34:40

openly and expressively aside

34:42

from this one of the other major lessons

34:45

I've learned on my journey of self-love is

34:47

the importance of choosing my inner peace over

34:49

the need to be right and once again

34:51

this is a reflection of the lessons I've

34:53

learned on my self-love journey without the need

34:55

of having to be

34:57

a statistic 24-7 or having to be perfect 24-7 self-love

35:00

isn't I'm so

35:02

perfect and I'm so amazing self-love is

35:04

I love and accept myself as I'm

35:06

growing I give myself grace

35:08

and compassion through all of my difficult

35:10

moments but I am working to grow

35:14

through my obstacles and through my toxic

35:16

traits so that I can become the

35:18

best version of myself so that not

35:20

only can I live a happier more

35:23

peaceful life but I can get rid

35:25

of self-sabotage and attract better opportunities and

35:27

better people into my life and finally

35:29

law 10 the final

35:32

step for this podcast and I want to end

35:34

it on a really wholesome

35:38

overall note that is also going to be

35:40

actionable and so law 10 to

35:42

becoming self-obsessed is simply

35:44

reflection to

35:47

give yourself celebration

35:49

every single day if you'd like

35:52

we are constantly as the self-obsessed

35:55

girlies trying to level up into our best

35:57

selves trying to achieve our goals and it's

35:59

so wonderful and you should take so much pride

36:01

that you have so much ambition in your life. However,

36:04

that has to be balanced with reflection on how far

36:06

you've come. And this is so

36:08

funny because this literally happened to me on my

36:10

morning walk that I took literally

36:13

today. I caught myself

36:15

smiling as I was walking because I had

36:17

this flashback of my high school days, not

36:20

sure why, it was just super random. And I

36:22

started smiling because I realized, whoa,

36:24

I have come so far. I can't believe

36:26

that used to be my life. I can't

36:28

believe I used to speak like that, stand

36:30

like that, carry myself like that, associate myself

36:33

with those situations. And now look at me.

36:35

I'm not perfect. I'm not completely where I want

36:37

to be in life. I still have such a

36:39

long way to go. But oh,

36:42

it is so worth smiling over how far I've

36:44

come, not only from several

36:47

years ago when I was in school, but

36:49

even who I was this time last year.

36:51

I've already done so many things this year

36:53

that last year me couldn't say that she

36:55

had the courage to do. And little things

36:57

like that that contribute to your confidence, which

36:59

is such a core pillar of becoming self

37:01

obsessed, along with your growth

37:04

journey. Because when you start reflecting on,

37:06

whoa, I woke up earlier today than

37:08

I did yesterday, just

37:10

that like that recognition of how

37:13

far you're coming and how much you're

37:15

growing gives you motivation to keep going

37:17

because you're getting rewards from it. But

37:20

if you have a negative

37:22

self talk, and if you think, oh my God, like

37:25

you're still not waking up at 6am, you only work

37:27

for eight, then

37:29

self growth becomes almost like a punishment. And this

37:31

really hard thing, which is so out of your

37:33

reach, if you flip yourself talk to you're not

37:35

quite where you want to be, but you're still

37:37

doing way better than you used to, this is

37:40

still a really long way from who you used

37:42

to be. You're still doing great with the resources

37:44

and the capacity that you have today with everything

37:46

else going on in your life. That's

37:49

as simple as it is. And that

37:51

wraps us up for the final episode of

37:54

season two. Thank you so much for being

37:56

here. If you're still listening, you are a

37:58

real one. Please be me let

38:00

me know what you enjoyed about this season.

38:02

That's really what I want to know because while

38:05

I'm going on a break for a few weeks

38:07

before we come back on season three, your girl

38:09

is not resting, okay? Work literally

38:11

starts from next week to start getting guests lined

38:13

up for season three, to start getting topics out,

38:16

to start planning out all the episodes and to

38:18

start looking through all of your comments and all

38:20

of your messages you sent me on DM to

38:22

see what you want in or out of the

38:25

podcast. Your feedback literally means the most to me.

38:27

I create this content for you guys and to

38:29

provide as much value as I can so your

38:31

feedback is always really really important. So I would

38:33

love if you could send a message and

38:36

in the meantime if you still

38:38

want to get your self-help and self-love

38:40

fix to become self-obsessed be sure to

38:42

check out the self-obsessed podcast Instagram. We

38:44

are still going to be posting on

38:46

there motivational quotes and things to just

38:48

ensue you and set you off on

38:50

the right set every single day and

38:52

also I will still be posting exclusive

38:54

self-help content on my main YouTube channel

38:56

every single Friday so you are never

38:58

without the advice you need to live

39:00

as your best self. Thank you

39:02

so much guys I can't wait to

39:05

see you back here for season three

39:07

episode one in July. I appreciate you.

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