Episode Transcript
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even sat down with really incredible guests
1:00
for the first time ever, and this is also
1:02
going to continue in season three. I can honestly
1:05
say I've learned so much from my experience with
1:07
interviewing these guests, and I hope you guys have
1:09
too. But now it's time for
1:11
you all to take everything you've learned this
1:13
season and apply it to your own life.
1:15
I want to come back next season and
1:18
see some major progress and growth from all
1:20
of you. And for that reason, we are
1:22
ending this season once again with the 10
1:24
laws of being self-obsessed. Just
1:27
to go over the topics we've learned so
1:29
far to refresh your memory and to
1:31
really ingrain all of these lessons within
1:33
you while giving you practical steps so
1:35
that you can become the best version
1:37
of yourself before season three even launches.
1:40
And just a quick note, I will
1:42
be back to record season three in
1:45
July, but you can keep up with
1:47
the actual announcement and launch day on
1:49
the self-obsessed podcast Instagram page,
1:51
where we share all of our
1:53
updates as well as daily, inspo
1:55
and motivational content. Before we
1:57
get into it, be sure to check out my personal insta-
2:00
Com as well at the preorder linked to
2:02
myself A but that's coming out in literally
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it's a few months now is available to
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pre order on Amazon along with both of
2:08
my Easy Tunnels and also my face with
2:11
Page as they would Page with a group
2:13
called Self Obsessed Society where everyone is talking
2:15
to to the right now and making Buzzy
2:17
said us I love it but for now
2:19
let's go into it. Law One. Stop.
2:22
Chasing and start attracting. We already know the
2:24
energy of seizing can be very damaging because
2:26
it gives you confidence and we're trying to
2:29
be the best version of ourselves against so
2:31
com it as a lot of the core
2:33
of that saying that come from a blaze
2:35
of desperation and attachment and when you actively
2:38
choose your dream or she's in a the
2:40
person you're coming from a place of desperation
2:42
and you're basically telling the universe that you
2:45
don't think you're going to be able to
2:47
get the on your own and you're not
2:49
deserving of to society and your life and
2:51
also. You're unsure of yourself and your
2:54
abilities when you're not relaxed about your
2:56
goals and desires and instead you are
2:58
chasing. That means he feel the need
3:00
to plan a can stress and and
3:03
you kind of of this mindset of
3:05
like I have to commit every single
3:07
second of my life to pursuing this
3:09
thing and I can't afford to rise
3:12
because wife I don't get it. it's
3:14
us scarcity mindsets and at the end
3:16
of the day you receive what you
3:18
believe and facing is an insecure or
3:21
belief. The. Key to
3:23
becoming self obsessed is the understanding
3:25
the right things are always gonna
3:27
naturally line with use once you
3:29
realize you were the of receiving
3:32
it and not links into self
3:34
confidence. When you chase things, you
3:36
lower your vibration because you're focusing
3:38
on fair which is in the
3:41
five lowest emotional states of consciousness
3:43
and this stops you from living
3:45
life and the moment where you
3:47
know you could be experiencing gratitude,
3:50
satisfaction and happiness. Chasing.
3:52
Creates a certain set of self beliefs,
3:54
they can impact your confidence and what
3:56
you think you're worthy of, so, for
3:58
example, let's. You're dating someone
4:01
who is company in that al year. And
4:04
you feel like what they don't actually bucks.
4:06
How can I make them like me? How
4:08
should I dressed for the day? Or you
4:10
know, how should I phrases text messages I'm
4:12
sending to them. That is a very nice
4:14
example by the way of something. and it's
4:17
leads to do when I felt insecure and
4:19
I was dating at the same time I'd
4:21
because you're coming from displays of need, neediness
4:23
and waiting for somebody else to validate you
4:25
got thing is never going to come to
4:27
ethnicity because you to actually believe it will
4:29
So. How do we fix this kind
4:32
of the day? Tasting is simply a
4:34
mindset and the way to change. This
4:36
is to instead and body the energy
4:38
that you think you're going to have
4:40
when you get the thing that you
4:42
will so desperately trying to pursue when
4:44
you align yourself with the minds of
4:46
the person who already has these things.
4:49
Then you start attracting all these feelings,
4:51
this positive feelings and realize that whatever
4:53
you want is already on his way
4:55
to use to. Then you adopt a
4:57
more com and. Secure. Approach
4:59
about your goals and then you have a
5:02
heightened ability to be able to attract more
5:04
things into a life because you're coming from
5:06
a place of i did their best. I
5:08
really think this way I know this is
5:11
coming to me and I don't need to
5:13
commit every single second of my life to
5:15
mess it messes as leave running. I'm for
5:17
it. When you chase you will So focused
5:20
on the future and what you're missing right
5:22
now. Once again scarcity mindset that you'd miss
5:24
out on the abundances white front of you
5:26
and is grasping the abundance that allows you.
5:29
To adopt the correct a mindset because
5:31
when you get the thing you're chasing.
5:33
You. Like all be so abundant in love
5:35
and life in my goals and finances. As
5:38
a you need to bring that future feeling
5:40
into your present. Law
5:42
to is. To. Live
5:45
a healthy lifestyle so that you
5:47
can become more competent in your
5:49
body's just like we discussed in
5:52
episode two with Carolina in this
5:54
season. So while you're so busy
5:56
criticizing yourself, About your
5:59
body type. About. Whether you ain't
6:01
good enough that day, there is someone
6:03
out that flying to change our parents
6:05
to look like you. And I say
6:07
this because insecurities and these standards of
6:09
beauty, it's have no validity whatsoever. What
6:12
A? Based on opinions, opinions, and fashion
6:14
trends that change all the damn time.
6:16
So really, what's the point in trying
6:18
to keep up with what the media
6:20
or other people are saying is the
6:23
ideal body type to look good and
6:25
not because while he looked in the
6:27
mirror and you hate your slim frame
6:29
and. You're trying to have more cars
6:31
or not look so quote flat there
6:34
was another go at that too is
6:36
so desperately trying to same down like
6:38
because that on negative things that everything
6:40
will pass is going to say about
6:42
a body because the media's profits of
6:44
of keeping us in secure and the
6:46
reason I say this is because while
6:48
you say something about your body to
6:50
somebody else is trying to get the
6:53
exact same quantity there is beauty in
6:55
every single body types and one thing
6:57
that carrying a taught me as well
6:59
with fixing. Body image and your competence
7:01
is that your relationship with food has
7:03
a direct impact on how you feel
7:06
and how you see yourself as other.
7:08
Does galleys stay prioritizing I health because
7:10
he is directly linked to a self
7:13
growth, our mental health especially it's and
7:15
our confidence. One thing I've that on
7:17
my own food any as well like
7:19
I feel like this is so overlooked
7:22
with how the food that you can
7:24
see him at impacts your mindset, it
7:26
plays a really large role in your
7:29
home is so. We have happy hormones
7:31
like Day for me and and serotonin
7:33
and by eating a healthy diet and
7:35
staying away from processed foods as much
7:37
as you can you obesity sucking these
7:40
happy hormones because you are giving your
7:42
body the nutrients that nice The more
7:44
that you can see imposes foods you
7:46
can see literally google this or a
7:48
studies on how this will height in
7:50
court so if within the body. But
7:53
aside from this eating good and eating
7:55
healthily and nursing a bloody and eating
7:57
three full meals a day and smacking
7:59
him. Mean it everywhere. To eat more
8:01
fruits and vegetables is so important because it
8:03
grows that strong relationships yourself. At the end
8:05
of the day you are still your younger
8:07
self and if you repairing yourself in this
8:10
way when you wake up every single day
8:12
and you make sure you eat food for
8:14
every single meal and that you're taking care
8:16
of and that you're not having girls and
8:18
as you're utterly it's fully nourishing your body,
8:20
you are playing Uma time and assets to
8:22
make these. Nourishing. And
8:24
delicious home cooked meal. Field Ops the
8:27
is an act of self, cat and
8:29
self love that you are putting towards
8:31
yourself. Aside from this. There's.
8:33
So much to love about yourself and
8:35
you are only other going to learn
8:37
to see those things when you stop
8:39
identifying with the negative image of your
8:41
body because your purpose in life much
8:43
more than was you look like on
8:45
the outside what your appearance is to
8:47
others, you are more than your. body.
8:49
to body is simply a vessel that
8:51
has given you the blessing to be
8:53
able to move and to be able
8:55
to physically experiences. And I think exposure
8:58
therapy is so important when it comes
9:00
to accepting yourself because a lot of
9:02
time we feel insecure or. About.
9:04
Our bodies because we're not seeing our bodies
9:06
what they are. So let's say if you're
9:08
looking at your body numero when you point
9:10
out the on you're not seeing it for
9:12
what it is. You're thinking of all of
9:14
the images as to what it should be.
9:16
So let's say you but nobody can dress
9:18
and you're like oh my god my buddies
9:20
is not a little bit should be flight
9:22
should be this my but should be biggest
9:24
My on should be skinny ass while my
9:26
size so skinny fellow rock. Show.
9:28
Never looking at what that is and so
9:30
how can you have a appreciate the body
9:33
that you have been given? When in your
9:35
said all you can see is the body
9:37
you should be. And the body
9:39
you have is always been at full saw
9:41
in comparison. Because you're not even more visually
9:43
mentally seeing a body that is yours you're
9:46
setting yourself up for failure and you a
9:48
self sabotaging by giving yourself new insecurities and
9:50
say one thing that means her Nina land
9:52
was that the more that use that you're
9:54
naked bodies the higher that you com this
9:57
can grow because you can finally replace that
9:59
image of. You should look like to
10:01
accept why you are right now and
10:03
you can literally challenge yourself. you know,
10:05
on the Thursday before you and the
10:07
salad stereo naked body for a minute
10:09
and a week later claimed build up
10:11
to five minutes, Ten minutes and so
10:13
you look in the mirror and you
10:15
can stop pointing out everything you appreciate
10:17
about your body. and that does not
10:20
just have to be physically, that can
10:22
be. Oh My. God. these hands had
10:24
created so many things. These legs have
10:26
gotten me so many places. There were
10:28
so much to be grateful about. Law
10:30
Three. Embrace your authenticity and given
10:32
right now because it's others afghanis of
10:34
trendsetters, not to and followers and we
10:36
know that being and it girl is
10:39
a mindset saved more than it is
10:41
about the clothes you wear, of the
10:43
way that you look when you chased
10:46
validation from outside sources and she's to
10:48
change yourself to fit in with trends
10:50
or well as a society deems acceptable
10:52
you as you doing a disservice to
10:55
authentic self. You're basically saying the you're
10:57
afraid to stand up and believe be
10:59
yourself. Because it doesn't fit in with what
11:02
everyone else is doing. Think.
11:04
About I for a second and
11:07
to mean. Dot is a
11:09
form of cells seat. Individuality,
11:11
Is all about falling in love with
11:13
the fact that you didn't say in
11:16
and there is no better way to
11:18
become more self obsessed than Trudy loving
11:20
all sides of you even if people
11:22
think it's different later. Like if you
11:24
guys know I love when I am
11:26
disliked because he is living proof that
11:28
I am being authentic. It every single
11:30
person likes you. it means that you
11:32
up pleasing other people annual fitting into
11:34
the books that they have made of
11:36
you and then had to keep themselves
11:39
more comfortable because gonna our heads. doing
11:41
big things and expressing yourself and an
11:43
authentic way because at the end of
11:45
the day being authentic is going to
11:47
trigger other people sometimes it will trigger
11:49
them positively by taking inspiration or liking
11:52
the way that you tunnel your energy
11:54
and it will encourage them to do
11:56
it in their own way or able
11:58
to get people negative Which is
12:00
what causes people to dislike you and so in
12:03
my opinion That's actually a really good thing and
12:05
it's proved that you're doing something right The
12:08
more self-obsessed you become the more you will
12:10
want to find out about yourself So
12:12
what do you like? What are your hobbies? What
12:15
do you enjoy doing the most? All of
12:17
these questions will prompt you to dig deeper
12:19
to find out what you personally like instead
12:21
of what everyone else is telling you To
12:23
like living in your authenticity
12:25
is such a powerful thing Not only
12:28
for yourself success journey But for others
12:30
too because it will give people the
12:32
confidence to actually be themselves just from
12:34
you being yourself around them on top
12:36
Of that it will attract the right
12:38
company and circle into your life and
12:40
I can vouch face because it's exactly
12:42
how I got my current Friendship group
12:44
who are so aligned to me and
12:46
help me feel so fulfilled in this
12:48
life when I was so focused on
12:50
being the easy Going nice girl and
12:52
honestly, I was also just unaware of
12:54
who I was I kept
12:56
getting myself into the wrong situations with
12:59
the wrong people law for change
13:01
your perception of being alone Because
13:04
there is going to be so many moments
13:06
on your self-growth journey and your journey to
13:08
becoming your best self where you may experience
13:11
Solitude and being alone for a
13:13
certain period of time where you feel like
13:15
you know You're making a shift or a
13:17
transition to the next phase or the next
13:19
era of your life maybe you're gonna cut
13:21
things out people out or move
13:24
away to another mindset
13:26
or situation and changing
13:29
the way you view being alone is Very
13:32
crucial at this stage a lot
13:34
of people think that being alone means you're lonely,
13:36
but that is so far from the truth Loneliness
13:39
is simply the absence of yourself
13:43
Solitude is the same thing. You're still
13:45
alone, but it's simply the mindset is
13:47
just simply shifted. It's switched Solitude
13:50
is when you are grateful for the process of
13:52
being alone Loneliness is when
13:55
you are so far detached and disconnected
13:57
from yourself that you cannot even appreciate
13:59
those. The core important moments
14:01
of being alone. Loneliness.
14:04
Is when you place all of your happiness
14:07
and fulfillment on to others. And solitude is
14:09
when you give your happiness and fulfillment bucks
14:11
yourself. So for example, if you're lonely, you're
14:13
going to wait for someone to take you
14:16
out. You're gonna complain all the time, but
14:18
not having a partner you will going to
14:20
miss out on the most amazing experiences because
14:22
you're scared to do them alone. What? People
14:25
Going to think? What people judge me? What's
14:27
I let let alone in public. But.
14:29
When you embrace your solitude. You
14:31
will make those experiences happened for yourself.
14:34
Because you know you deserve them. It's
14:36
an act of self love to go
14:38
out that an experience like right now
14:40
you will take your thoughts on Saturday.
14:42
it's you will by yourself. The damn
14:44
flowers hello book reference. You will travel
14:47
annual the all the things you want
14:49
to the do. This is exactly how
14:51
you pull the love that you would
14:53
want from another person it back into
14:55
yourself. The key to becoming self as
14:57
as is making sure you dedicate time
14:59
to invest in yourself and to maintain
15:02
a relationship you have with yourself. Being
15:04
able to spend time on your own, actually
15:06
be able to enjoy your company is a
15:08
privilege that not many people get to experience.
15:10
Because we are we grow up For me
15:12
out what the complete opposites to wait to
15:14
make the right friend to make sure that
15:16
you have a partner and we never taught
15:19
how to spend time alone to the point
15:21
that so many of us think it's wrong
15:23
to sit in a restaurant alone, but you
15:25
get to six that mindset when you use
15:27
exposure therapy to go. And. Eat out
15:29
on your own. And not trashy might be
15:31
looking at you and the more times you do
15:34
s the feather com since he will build with
15:36
it you can go to the cinema you can
15:38
create memories yourself in any way that mean something
15:40
to yourself. You know you can like do a
15:42
sip and paint at home but something I would
15:45
like to do as well. Is
15:47
to invest myself in other ways see
15:49
does Now I am Saturday in Queen
15:51
Isaac myself literally everywhere even just myself
15:53
to New York the the weeks A
15:55
by myself and but I love to
15:58
play day to day regularly. I am
16:00
finding some alone I am but investing
16:02
in my knowledge and the my skills
16:04
so I read so development book that
16:06
literally all the time. I'm one of
16:08
my in New Years resolutions for trained
16:10
for people with the lemony language and
16:13
so I started taking Lingo.language classes back
16:15
in December and I've been doing it
16:17
ever since like I was so consistent
16:19
with it in January February especially and
16:21
this podcast episode has actually been brought
16:23
to you blaming go down the days
16:25
of you don't know Lingo To is
16:28
actually an online language school for busy.
16:30
People who are serious about learning a new
16:32
language and lingo to provide the ultimate flexibility
16:34
with the way that that website is laid
16:36
out so you can take a class at
16:39
any time literally twenty both other and and
16:41
then then a place that suits you and
16:43
this was so good for me I never
16:45
thought I would be the have the time
16:47
to let any language and I've always wanted
16:50
to than friends I would eat out with
16:52
and it previously I really needed to refresh
16:54
my knowledge on s so like I was
16:56
out here taking classes at Ten Eleven p
16:58
m at night which was amazing. I've been
17:01
attending Lingo to small group classes for
17:03
around six months now. I'm because the
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Be lessons never have more than five
17:07
students are here like I actually got
17:09
a lot of opportunities to speak French
17:11
in every single class and his focus
17:13
on speaking along with the past or
17:15
feedback you get from your professional teach
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us is what has allowed me to
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make such as progress towards my goal
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of learning friends. The curriculum is also
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but it was a very slow process
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at she struggled for a long time.
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who says, yeah, I can speak multiple languages
18:41
while balancing all of the other stuff that's
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going on in my life because I am
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my first priority and I'm going to make
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sure that I can get as much knowledge
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and as much experience out of this life
18:53
as I possibly can because personally that's my
18:55
goal and my mindset when it comes to
18:57
this. The fifth law of self-obsession is of
19:00
course to practice manifestation which I've spoken about
19:02
for so long on my YouTube. It's so
19:04
important. It's changed my life in so many
19:06
ways and we also discussed it in detail
19:08
in this season with our special guest Roxy
19:11
Nafusi. Manifestation is
19:14
my favorite thing. You need to start
19:16
using the power of your mind to
19:18
be able to change who you currently
19:20
are. We hold so much power within
19:22
ourselves without actually needing to do anything
19:25
physically. Manifestation is one
19:27
of the most important self-development
19:29
practices because at its core
19:31
it's actually all about self-worth,
19:33
self-reception and self-love. I
19:36
also have in-depth individual episodes on how to master
19:38
all of those things along with videos in my
19:40
YouTube channel. You manifest
19:42
what you believe you're worthy of
19:45
having. Manifestation is about understanding
19:47
that you are worthy of everything
19:49
you aspire to have from happiness
19:51
to love to success whatever you
19:53
like. When I
19:55
look back at my life I realized that
19:58
I wouldn't have the life I have right now. if
20:00
I didn't manifest and actually envision it.
20:02
Because I used to be a victim
20:04
of self-doubt big time. And you can
20:06
see self-doubt as manifestation's biggest enemy. And
20:10
I struggled with it so much that I would actually
20:12
sometimes just cry because I was
20:14
so overwhelmed with where I wanted to go. And
20:16
I was so plagued by this negative belief system.
20:18
I wouldn't be able to get there. My dreams
20:20
were too big until I consciously decided to change
20:22
it. So I made a vision board and I
20:24
would stare at it for two minutes every single
20:26
morning. At nighttime when I
20:29
fell asleep, I would visualize all of those
20:31
goals coming to life and me actually being
20:33
in those scenarios, seeing it out and achieving
20:35
them. Anytime I found
20:38
myself doubting myself or having like
20:40
negative speech patterns such as what if I
20:43
can't do this, what if it doesn't work
20:45
out, I would immediately switch it. And on
20:47
top of this, my favorite tip to really
20:50
help you get self-obsessed and master manifestation on
20:52
this journey is that thinking
20:54
and envisioning the life you want, yes, it is
20:56
helpful. But the best,
20:58
most efficient step to this is
21:01
that you actually have to align yourself
21:04
to the life you aspire to have. What
21:06
do I mean by this? So a really
21:08
niche example is, as a content
21:10
creator, I'm always taking pictures, taking videos of myself,
21:12
et cetera. And a lot of the time I
21:14
have to do that in public, especially on my
21:16
vlog YouTube channel where I show you guys how
21:18
I spend my life. I'm walking in the streets
21:21
and I'm videoing, or I'll be sitting in a
21:23
restaurant alone on a solo date, which already
21:26
might be a little bit awkward. And then I'm
21:28
getting out a little tripod and a camera and
21:30
putting it on a table when there are people
21:33
sat on tables next to me and they fully
21:35
stare, like fully. If you watch some of my
21:37
vlogs, you can see story times of times that
21:39
people have pointed at me and laughed or said
21:41
something, or just, you can see people staring at
21:44
me basically. And when
21:46
I started out with this, I felt very
21:48
self-conscious and very uncomfortable and like I was
21:50
taking up too much space. My body was
21:52
literally having this fight or flight response but
21:54
I just wanted to put the camera out
21:56
immediately because it was just too nerve-wracking and
21:58
I didn't like being stared at. And then
22:00
I realized, where do I want to go? I
22:03
want to get to a million subscribers, which by the
22:05
way, I literally just achieved the other week. I
22:08
used to think, I want to grow
22:10
my YouTube channel. I want to be
22:12
a huge content creator. I want hundreds
22:14
of thousands of views. And
22:16
these are all of my other goals of where I need to get to. Let's
22:19
say I was there right now, how would I be filming
22:21
in public? How would I feel about it? How confident would
22:23
I be? Would I care what anybody else
22:26
has to say about it? No, because it's my career
22:28
and I'm successful at it. And I would act like
22:30
I already had the million subscribers because that
22:32
in itself is validating, right? And
22:35
I thought, if I want to get to
22:37
where I want to get to, that version
22:39
of myself wouldn't even have a second thought
22:41
about what anybody else has to think. She
22:43
would be so immersed in her craft and
22:45
making sure that the video came out so
22:48
perfect that she didn't have to worry about
22:50
anything else. And so I started aligning myself
22:52
to that version of myself. The person who
22:54
was so assured in their successes and had
22:56
achieved everything she wanted that it
22:58
got rid of all of those nerves in that
23:01
present moment before I achieved any
23:03
of those other things. Law six
23:05
is about becoming comfortable with feeling
23:07
lost. This step is all
23:09
about learning how to reprogram the way
23:11
you view uncertainty and getting comfortable with
23:13
the feeling of being lost because this
23:15
is actually a crucial step in your
23:18
journey, guys. It's literally the step that
23:20
you need to cross to get to
23:22
success. There's no avoiding it. There
23:25
is a lot of pressure in society today to
23:27
have it all figured out, especially in your 20s.
23:30
And the truth is none of us actually have it figured
23:32
all out. We're all
23:34
just trying things. Sometimes it sticks, sometimes
23:36
it doesn't, and everyone has a different
23:38
timeline in which some people find the
23:40
solution quicker and other people find it
23:42
a little bit later. Both scenarios is
23:45
completely fine. This
23:47
Law is so important because on your journey to
23:49
becoming self-obsessed, there will be so many moments where
23:51
you are going to have to stop and figure
23:53
out what you have to do next. Or You
23:55
would have just tried something and it's completely failed
23:57
and now you don't know what to do. And
24:00
you may have seasons in your life
24:02
where things aren't going how you envision
24:04
they would. and you find yourself comparing.
24:07
Comparing. Yourself to who you thought
24:09
you would be a certain stage and
24:12
because of this is so important to
24:14
get yourself out the mindset of comparison
24:16
not only when you consistently compare yourself
24:18
to others which literally makes no sense
24:20
because they have different life paths and
24:22
different goals and different mindsets and were
24:25
born in two different circumstances so you
24:27
are never going to get anything good
24:29
from Can Barrios of the other people
24:31
but also I feel and what we
24:33
really full you know like into the
24:35
trap of feeling lost and like failures.
24:38
Is thinking all when I'm twenty six so
24:40
I should be here now or I'm twenty
24:42
two So I should have done this by
24:44
now and it say Linda to even come
24:46
up with these standards for your life When
24:48
you were a child. A couple
24:50
years ago when you when he that
24:52
in this environment will situation yes when
24:54
you hadn't even stepped out to experience
24:57
the wells yes you will comparing yourself
24:59
with ideas that.beijing of yourself. Made.
25:01
Up. And that is
25:04
incredibly unfair. You are out here doing
25:06
a damn thing, experiencing life for the
25:08
first time might I add and trying
25:10
your best every single day. And they
25:12
really you should only ever be comparing
25:15
yourself to how you did yesterday Ceiling
25:17
last and in certain is such a
25:19
powerful moment where you funny discover so
25:21
much about yourself and is also the
25:23
moment that you start a new chapter
25:26
or new version of yourself because when
25:28
you will lost you finally falling away
25:30
from these unrealistic expectations that you set
25:32
on yourself. when you were younger. and
25:35
now you're like well that didn't work or that
25:37
isn't a line from anymore so now i don't
25:39
know what the how to do with a good
25:41
you need to lean into the what the
25:43
how do i need to do this because that
25:46
means now you're actually saying presence and you're
25:48
making a new decisions and thinking in different ways
25:50
to what you thought you should have always
25:52
done or what your parents try to make you
25:54
think that you should do when your loss you
25:56
have all of this power to start fresh
25:58
and you're about to yourself in
26:01
what you are able to achieve. When
26:04
you frame your mindset to view being lost
26:06
as a positive thing you open yourself up
26:08
to so many new creative ways of achieving
26:10
the life you want to live. You
26:13
need, as Gemma said in
26:15
our podcast together, you need to stop
26:18
trying to imagine what your life looks
26:20
like down to every detail and
26:22
instead you need to imagine what you want
26:24
your life to feel like on an average
26:26
Monday afternoon in 30 years time.
26:29
You don't need to worry about what house is it going
26:31
to be and what wedding is it going to be and
26:33
how big is my bank account going to be. While
26:36
they're all good questions, okay, but they take time
26:38
to figure out and they take time to work
26:40
towards. If you just tap into
26:43
that, what makes me happy when I wake up
26:45
in the morning? What is my favorite ritual
26:47
when I go to bed? What are a few things
26:49
I need to have every single week to make sure
26:51
that my mental health is at its best? For example,
26:53
I need to see my friends twice a week. I
26:55
need to go on a solo date once
26:57
a morning or once a week. I
27:00
need to try new food. I need to make
27:02
time for art, whatever it is that
27:04
means something to you that contributes
27:06
to your happiness. Law seven is
27:08
to use adversity to your advantage
27:10
because your challenges that you experience
27:13
in life can help you become a better
27:15
person. Changing your perception
27:18
of adversity and hardship is one of
27:20
the most important steps in my opinion
27:22
to becoming more self-obsessed because I
27:24
have gained so much peace in whatever happens in
27:26
my life because I know it's all a part
27:28
of the plot. Nothing is happening
27:30
to me. It's always happening for me. One
27:32
of the biggest lessons I've learned so far
27:35
this year is when you are working to
27:37
create your dream life and manifesting
27:39
your goals, you won't magically get what
27:41
you want. You will
27:43
instead get the journey that will turn you
27:45
into the type of person you want to become.
27:49
You don't get, let's say you're trying to
27:51
manifest a million pounds, you're
27:54
not gonna get a million pounds that falls into your lap the
27:56
next week but the universe gives
27:58
you the journey, the steps, the experience, the
28:00
wins and the failures That
28:03
will turn you into the type of person
28:05
that can become a millionaire and just that
28:07
in itself really helps you reframe what
28:10
adversities actually mean because Growing
28:12
up and so many of us do this like
28:14
bad things happen and you think oh my god
28:16
life isn't there Or I worked so
28:18
hard for this why did I not get it? I
28:20
was manifesting this this for so long Why is nothing
28:22
happening to me? It is happening
28:25
for you You just can't see it yet that
28:27
frame got taken away that breakup happened
28:30
You've got rejected from that thing it is redirecting you
28:32
to what you wish you can get But
28:35
you're just not gonna get it in the way you think
28:37
you're gonna get it and this is why I always believe
28:39
in trusting The process and when adversities come into my life.
28:41
I know that always gonna do me a favor They
28:44
always give me a glove up. They
28:46
always make me smarter hotter even richer.
28:48
So I welcome them I
28:51
am such a big believer in Seeing
28:53
all of my blessings in
28:55
my adversities Whenever you go
28:57
through bad things in life, you need to stop
28:59
asking yourself Why is this happening to me and
29:01
instead ask yourself? What can I learn from this? And
29:04
what can I take from this? These
29:06
are the questions that are gonna help you step away
29:08
from a scarcity mindset in your life and feel so
29:11
Unlucky and instead it will
29:13
help you so much on yourself growth journey By
29:16
asking yourself these things you're actively
29:18
shifting your mindset and you're building
29:20
resilience and Wisdom so
29:22
that you can defeat similar situations that
29:25
may happen again in the future Which
29:27
helps you become stronger and smarter in
29:29
leveling the F up Everything
29:32
given to you good or bad Unfair
29:35
or unfair was needed
29:37
and required to help you
29:39
reach your final destination Being
29:43
your goals and your dream life Law
29:46
8 you need to
29:48
change your relationship with money just
29:51
like I discussed in depth with
29:53
Simran core episode 8 of Season
29:56
2 of self obsessed podcast self obsessed
29:58
curlies are all about becoming financially wiser
30:00
and smarter with our money, which is
30:02
why changing your relationship with money is
30:04
such a game changer on this journey.
30:07
There are so many trends out there
30:09
about being a soft life girlie, princess
30:11
treatment, finding a rich man, him
30:13
solving all of your problems and there
30:15
is good in those ideas, some
30:18
good just like there are in a lot
30:20
of trends but they are not the answers
30:22
to life. I feel as
30:24
though these trends are setting us back
30:26
because there is something so powerful about
30:29
achieving your goals and achieving financial
30:31
freedom as a woman because it gives you the
30:33
freedom to pursue your goals and dreams and man,
30:35
the man that you actually want with
30:37
emotional intelligence and all the qualities you wish for without
30:40
having to worry about relying on
30:42
others for financial stability. I have
30:45
spent years learning to improve my
30:48
financial literacy and one
30:50
woman who continues to inspire me in this
30:52
journey is Simran herself and
30:54
after speaking to her I learned that a
30:56
lot of the beliefs and narratives we have
30:58
around money can be inherited. So
31:01
if you grew up with parents who felt
31:03
like they never had enough money, that life
31:05
was really unfair, that they were just dealt
31:07
a bad card, that money is something to
31:09
be afraid of, you were gonna grow up
31:12
with the same mindset even if your circumstances
31:14
are different and so it's important
31:16
to let go of the false narratives we've
31:18
been told when it comes to money to
31:20
instead consciously build a money mindset
31:23
that benefits us and allows us to
31:25
attract more money into our life. Going
31:28
from a poor girls mindset to a
31:30
rich girl mindset is all about changing
31:32
your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Thinking
31:35
you're going to reach your financial goals
31:38
by simply cutting back on expenses, saving
31:40
a little bit extra
31:42
every single month is not going to give you
31:44
financial abundance but actively
31:46
improving your financial literacy
31:48
by reading, learning and
31:50
investing will get you there. Examples
31:53
of these if you live in the UK
31:55
is using an ISAR, investing in your pension,
31:57
using budgeting apps or going to a business
32:00
great to be able to see where your
32:02
money is going and they're not focused so
32:04
much on saving such a large part of
32:06
it, although saving is important, but redirecting a
32:08
lot of it into other investments. Maybe you
32:10
want to be an angel investor, maybe you
32:12
want to invest in art or the stock
32:14
market like I do. Law 9 is all
32:16
about taking yourself love to the next level.
32:19
When you deeply love yourself, it shows in every
32:22
single thing you do. And this self
32:24
love allows us to step outside of our comfort
32:26
zones, take risks and pursue our dreams with love.
32:30
Loving yourself is not just about
32:32
regular self care, solo dates and
32:34
going to Pilates. And
32:36
I think social media has made it seem as
32:38
though it is and that it's super cute and
32:40
like this aesthetic trend, but it's actually so much
32:42
deeper than that. And it can be difficult
32:45
and filled with obstacles and
32:47
that makes it even
32:49
more worth your while because that's where growth happens
32:52
when you're uncomfortable. So a really good example of
32:55
taking yourself love to the next level is,
32:57
okay, yeah, you go on solo dates because
32:59
it helps with your independence and detaching from
33:01
male validation and it builds your confidence. We
33:03
love that. It's so important. But
33:06
why do we fear being judged in the first
33:08
place on these holidays? How
33:11
can we fix that limiting belief system? Why
33:13
are we placing other people's validation over our
33:15
own? Why is this triggering
33:17
us this experience of sitting alone in public?
33:20
Those are just examples of questions you can
33:23
ask yourself in that situation to allow space
33:25
for some self discovery to level up to
33:27
the next version of yourself because you are
33:29
getting rid of these negative beliefs that are
33:32
holding you back. Another example
33:34
is, okay, you had a bubble bath last
33:36
night and you did yourself care cute. Maybe
33:39
let's spend the next morning since we've already
33:41
done that doing some shadow work and
33:43
discovering our shadow self. Our shadow
33:45
self is a part of ourselves
33:48
that we are not fully
33:50
aware of and we cannot fully see because it
33:52
contains all of these triggers and
33:54
all of these parts that we have been taught
33:57
to be ashamed of. struggle
34:00
to accept so we hide it away and
34:03
because we're not fully aware of this if
34:05
we see these parts of
34:07
ourselves and other people and other things it will cause
34:09
us to have a larger reaction
34:11
or be triggered so let's say
34:14
that you see someone videoing
34:16
themselves in public and you don't like it and you're
34:18
like oh my god that's so cringe why are they
34:21
doing that that's actually showing you
34:23
a part of yourself that needs to be
34:25
healed and that's a really good depiction of
34:27
self-love being like why is this triggering
34:29
me why is this bothering me oh maybe
34:31
this is a part of my shadow self who
34:33
doesn't feel comfortable enough to put myself in that
34:35
environment which is why I am being triggered by
34:38
somebody else doing it so
34:40
openly and expressively aside
34:42
from this one of the other major lessons
34:45
I've learned on my journey of self-love is
34:47
the importance of choosing my inner peace over
34:49
the need to be right and once again
34:51
this is a reflection of the lessons I've
34:53
learned on my self-love journey without the need
34:55
of having to be
34:57
a statistic 24-7 or having to be perfect 24-7 self-love
35:00
isn't I'm so
35:02
perfect and I'm so amazing self-love is
35:04
I love and accept myself as I'm
35:06
growing I give myself grace
35:08
and compassion through all of my difficult
35:10
moments but I am working to grow
35:14
through my obstacles and through my toxic
35:16
traits so that I can become the
35:18
best version of myself so that not
35:20
only can I live a happier more
35:23
peaceful life but I can get rid
35:25
of self-sabotage and attract better opportunities and
35:27
better people into my life and finally
35:29
law 10 the final
35:32
step for this podcast and I want to end
35:34
it on a really wholesome
35:38
overall note that is also going to be
35:40
actionable and so law 10 to
35:42
becoming self-obsessed is simply
35:44
reflection to
35:47
give yourself celebration
35:49
every single day if you'd like
35:52
we are constantly as the self-obsessed
35:55
girlies trying to level up into our best
35:57
selves trying to achieve our goals and it's
35:59
so wonderful and you should take so much pride
36:01
that you have so much ambition in your life. However,
36:04
that has to be balanced with reflection on how far
36:06
you've come. And this is so
36:08
funny because this literally happened to me on my
36:10
morning walk that I took literally
36:13
today. I caught myself
36:15
smiling as I was walking because I had
36:17
this flashback of my high school days, not
36:20
sure why, it was just super random. And I
36:22
started smiling because I realized, whoa,
36:24
I have come so far. I can't believe
36:26
that used to be my life. I can't
36:28
believe I used to speak like that, stand
36:30
like that, carry myself like that, associate myself
36:33
with those situations. And now look at me.
36:35
I'm not perfect. I'm not completely where I want
36:37
to be in life. I still have such a
36:39
long way to go. But oh,
36:42
it is so worth smiling over how far I've
36:44
come, not only from several
36:47
years ago when I was in school, but
36:49
even who I was this time last year.
36:51
I've already done so many things this year
36:53
that last year me couldn't say that she
36:55
had the courage to do. And little things
36:57
like that that contribute to your confidence, which
36:59
is such a core pillar of becoming self
37:01
obsessed, along with your growth
37:04
journey. Because when you start reflecting on,
37:06
whoa, I woke up earlier today than
37:08
I did yesterday, just
37:10
that like that recognition of how
37:13
far you're coming and how much you're
37:15
growing gives you motivation to keep going
37:17
because you're getting rewards from it. But
37:20
if you have a negative
37:22
self talk, and if you think, oh my God, like
37:25
you're still not waking up at 6am, you only work
37:27
for eight, then
37:29
self growth becomes almost like a punishment. And this
37:31
really hard thing, which is so out of your
37:33
reach, if you flip yourself talk to you're not
37:35
quite where you want to be, but you're still
37:37
doing way better than you used to, this is
37:40
still a really long way from who you used
37:42
to be. You're still doing great with the resources
37:44
and the capacity that you have today with everything
37:46
else going on in your life. That's
37:49
as simple as it is. And that
37:51
wraps us up for the final episode of
37:54
season two. Thank you so much for being
37:56
here. If you're still listening, you are a
37:58
real one. Please be me let
38:00
me know what you enjoyed about this season.
38:02
That's really what I want to know because while
38:05
I'm going on a break for a few weeks
38:07
before we come back on season three, your girl
38:09
is not resting, okay? Work literally
38:11
starts from next week to start getting guests lined
38:13
up for season three, to start getting topics out,
38:16
to start planning out all the episodes and to
38:18
start looking through all of your comments and all
38:20
of your messages you sent me on DM to
38:22
see what you want in or out of the
38:25
podcast. Your feedback literally means the most to me.
38:27
I create this content for you guys and to
38:29
provide as much value as I can so your
38:31
feedback is always really really important. So I would
38:33
love if you could send a message and
38:36
in the meantime if you still
38:38
want to get your self-help and self-love
38:40
fix to become self-obsessed be sure to
38:42
check out the self-obsessed podcast Instagram. We
38:44
are still going to be posting on
38:46
there motivational quotes and things to just
38:48
ensue you and set you off on
38:50
the right set every single day and
38:52
also I will still be posting exclusive
38:54
self-help content on my main YouTube channel
38:56
every single Friday so you are never
38:58
without the advice you need to live
39:00
as your best self. Thank you
39:02
so much guys I can't wait to
39:05
see you back here for season three
39:07
episode one in July. I appreciate you.
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