0:04

Welcome to the sex , money and

0:06

rage podcast .

0:07

You're actually having to stand up for yourself

0:10

worth and you know , knowing I am worth

0:12

this . And I think again , as women , we've lived in this

0:14

society for so long where we've been told what we're

0:16

worth , right , we've been told you're at this

0:18

level . You're at this level and

0:20

you know what I've learned , or what I'm learning . And look

0:22

, the personal growth I know is tied up in my own self-worth

0:25

around what I do and what I earn , and you know

0:27

what I have and things like that , and you

0:29

know that's a reflection of kind of my own upbringing

0:31

. But I learned that you

0:34

know we we project

0:37

on to what we think other . You

0:39

know we are we're projecting on to others what

0:41

we think they're thinking . So if you're saying I

0:44

don't , you know I'm not gonna ask for a raise because I don't

0:46

think they're gonna give it to me , well , you're projecting

0:48

that onto them and of course , they're gonna mirror that back .

0:53

Welcome back to sex , money and rage . I'm

0:56

your host , ellie . Thank you for listening to another

0:58

episode . Today is all

1:00

about money , which I'm excited for

1:02

. I interviewed Anna Walker , who

1:04

is a certified money coach , a holistic

1:07

wealth alchemist and founder of Bilance

1:09

your wealth . So in 2020 , anna

1:11

took a sabbatical from her longtime career

1:13

in financial services . She

1:16

wanted to take some time off after working in a

1:18

really demanding career and

1:20

had been really going back and forth on what

1:22

direction to go whether to continue

1:24

climbing the corporate ladder or buy the bullet

1:27

and step out to do her own thing and , honestly

1:30

, she said , both terrified her . So

1:32

she chose to bow out of the corporate

1:34

realm and focused on restricting her health

1:37

, her wealth and her family dynamics

1:39

and connect with her in a calling which led

1:41

her to start Bilance your wealth , her own company

1:43

. She's super , super cool . We had

1:46

a super interesting chat about money and

1:48

all different money blocks people have , how

1:51

, how much trauma can play a role in

1:53

people's self-worth around money . We

1:55

talked about some of the archetypes around money and

1:57

the behaviors that people can bring on that

2:00

can really get in their way . We're making more

2:02

money and , yeah

2:04

, I really enjoy this episode , so

2:06

I think you guys will too . Before we jump in

2:08

, please hit the subscribe or follow button and

2:10

make sure notifications are ticked if you haven't already

2:13

. If you have done it . Thank you so so much , really appreciate

2:15

it . It's really cool to see the podcast

2:17

growing , so the listenership is going

2:19

up each month , which is really fun . So thank

2:22

you to everyone who's listening . If you have any

2:24

recommendations , requests , questions

2:27

that you want answered , you can email me lellie

2:30

at sexmoneyragecom and

2:33

tell me a story . I'd love to hear more . All

2:35

right , let's jump in and hear what Anna has

2:37

to say . All about money , but

2:41

what I guess inspired you to get into

2:43

, say , money coaching ? You mentioned you're in the financial

2:45

, corporate sort of world . What

2:47

sort of inspired you to to get more into

2:49

the emotional side of money ?

2:50

yeah , I think for a number of years I've

2:52

been one of those you know not not so much searching

2:55

, but the sense of longing

2:57

within to connect with you

3:00

know something more . And and look , I'm

3:02

very interested in human

3:04

behavior and what drives us

3:06

and makes us tick and , you

3:08

know , always exploring ways to kind of bring more

3:10

awareness to the , you know , to the parts of ourselves

3:12

that need a little bit more , call

3:15

it healing or shaping . And and

3:17

I suppose , because money was my , so

3:19

going back to , I guess , my original kind of the

3:22

way I landed up in money the first place was , you

3:24

know , my home upbringing was a

3:26

lot of wonderful memories

3:28

but it was the best way to describe was

3:30

cycles of feast , of famine , and that was

3:32

in love and money . You

3:34

know , parents that were kind of together in a part

3:37

on and off , and on and off , a

3:39

dad who's there and then wasn't , and what back

3:42

and forth . And similarly with money . We felt

3:44

like we'd go through periods where we had all the abundance

3:46

the world and then all of a sudden , you know , we couldn't pay our mortgage

3:48

. So I grew up in an environment

3:51

which I felt in hindsight

3:53

and this is only behavior , money coaching that taught me this is

3:55

I felt unsafe , that money

3:57

and love weren't stable , and so

3:59

that drove me to a

4:01

bit of a few things , a bit of

4:03

a scarcity mindset , because it was always a bit of

4:05

like get and hold on and

4:07

survival , very much survival mode

4:09

. I need to get a job , I need to earn my own

4:11

money so that I don't have

4:13

to be in that situation . I don't want to worry about money

4:15

, I want to be able to have the freedom to go away

4:18

on the weekend , to go out and have drinks with my friends . I

4:20

just it was a bit of that survival and

4:23

so , when I look at it in that sense , which then drove me to

4:25

go into business , I saw guys at school that were , you know

4:27

, dabbling the share market and I was like oh , wow . And also

4:29

, I suppose , like there was definitely a lot of focus

4:31

around money at home . I think , you know , I had a father

4:34

who was always very money

4:38

because it was Feaster Fam and it was . He

4:40

had a lot of focus . I think there was almost a sense of , not

4:43

a desperation , but you know , a real kind

4:45

of , you know

4:47

, was had friends who had

4:49

money and talked about it in that way , like they

4:51

have . It was always kind of coming

4:54

up with different ideas , had a great career , but you know , I was

4:56

coming with different ideas to like get rich quick

4:58

and that sort of thing and so all these things . You

5:00

know , they they kind of without

5:03

your being aware and as they kind of manifest . And so then

5:06

I saw guys at school that were in the share market

5:08

. So I want to go into business , I want to run my own business , and

5:10

I'm sure there was some truth in that in terms of my

5:12

entrepreneurial and kind of idea nature , but

5:15

but it wasn't aligned with purpose . It was really

5:17

just about I need money in order . So I can , you

5:20

know , defeat these feelings of insecurity

5:22

and I need to kind of , and I want to be like them

5:24

, I want to have what they have . And

5:26

so you know that , even

5:29

though I went into kind of the

5:31

financial services realm and I learned about financial

5:33

planning and I learned about investments , and I

5:35

had so much knowledge and you know , still to

5:37

the states I've got a lot of like basic knowledge

5:39

around how to make money , how to grow

5:41

it , how to sustain it , and I know all the , I know all the theory

5:44

, but what I realized is I kept

5:46

going into these patterns of self sabotage . You

5:48

know , either coming into money and spending it all making

5:51

rash investments . You

5:53

know , yeah , I was very much the

5:56

. The archetypes that came through for me were very

5:58

much the fool , the bit of the gamble , the risk taker

6:00

, definitely the martyr , definitely

6:02

the one that would go up and buy drinks for everybody and then ha

6:04

, we're having a great time and then feel like shit at the end

6:06

of the day . You know , go home and like nobody

6:09

left . You know , we all do that when we're

6:11

younger , but yeah and and

6:13

yeah and just and getting carried away with ideas

6:15

about things . So , look , I've realized over

6:17

time that I just I have not made prudent decisions

6:20

and and I've actually taken , I've either taken too

6:22

much risk or I just haven't had the

6:24

information , I've been the innocent and what

6:26

have you . So , as I've noticed those things

6:28

played out , I'm like , well , that's , that was the missing link . And

6:30

that's what this is all about is because it's actually that

6:32

practical side and , look , there's lots of professional

6:35

people that can help you with fancy wealth creation strategies

6:37

but , in my view , the basics of money

6:39

management , getting like the pillars into place

6:41

and starting to make those decisions and put

6:43

that action plan , that's the easy

6:45

part , like it really is , because that's just the

6:48

action , that's just the doing . But it's this hard

6:50

part over here is understanding how you are so

6:52

that when it does come to having to stick with those

6:54

strategies , when things start to go

6:56

you know fluctuate and and you

6:58

know we're in one of those times right now things are going to get more

7:00

expensive , markets are going to go up and they're going

7:02

to go down . You're not always going to make the best decision

7:04

, but as long as you have that strategy in place

7:07

and you have the resilience , the emotional

7:09

awareness and resilience to whether it you're

7:11

so much more likely to to

7:15

achieve your , your

7:17

financial goals and also to be adjusting

7:19

them in a way , you know to be really clear

7:22

on what your goals are , that those

7:24

what I call values , aligned goals . You

7:26

know you're actually setting goals that are aligned to how you want to

7:28

live and you want to show up in the world , not according to how somebody

7:30

else is telling you . So it's always going to feel good . So

7:33

, yeah , it was just my , I guess , my own journey , what

7:35

I went through , understanding where my own self-sabotaging

7:37

patterns were also the sense of lack

7:39

of self-worth , not knowing , you know

7:41

, feeling guilty if I wanted more money at work or

7:43

not , thinking I could get that position . So

7:45

I'd self-sabotage and just seeing these patterns

7:48

play out . And then money

7:50

coaching sort of help me , sort of identify that

7:52

. And those are things I'm working , continue to work on , and

7:55

now I feel like , geez

7:57

, I wish I had more time on this side because , geez , I

7:59

like I know what to do now , like I can just

8:01

do it if I don't get all the time in the

8:03

world to maximize my own potential

8:05

. I want to help other people , you know , I just want to

8:08

help bring awareness so that they can

8:10

, you know , start to address this earlier on

8:12

and have a , you know , have a really great chance to to

8:14

create the life that you know . Create a life by design , not

8:16

by default , is what I would say yeah

8:20

, that's really cool .

8:20

I really liked what you said about the

8:22

, the emotional piece of . You know

8:25

you can have all the practices and things in place , but

8:27

you know when I guess when she hits the fan you

8:29

know the having the why , or

8:31

having those emotional pieces

8:33

in places , what's going to keep you on that path

8:35

, which I think , yes , is super , super important

8:37

. And , like you say , creating , creating a lifestyle

8:39

by design , and even you

8:42

know figuring out , okay , what lifestyle do I want

8:44

, and then how much money do I need to make that happen

8:46

, rather than just thinking , oh , I need

8:48

, I'm just gonna make this much money and then I'll

8:50

be happy and it's like , yeah

8:53

, is that really true ?

8:55

yeah , and you need to connect with that right . You need to connect

8:57

with what's important to you and go through that values

8:59

piece . And yes , how much is enough is a really

9:01

important question , because that then drives your

9:04

strategy in your plan . It's different for everyone . We

9:06

all have different . You know . We value different things

9:08

, we value living in different ways and

9:10

and , yeah , amazing .

9:12

And so I know you work a lot with archetypes

9:14

when it comes to money and money blocks

9:16

and identities and things . Maybe

9:19

we could sort of talk about a few of those

9:21

different archetypes and how they present themselves

9:23

. I'll just go through a few of them and

9:25

then you can definitely dive in further . So the

9:28

first one was the innocent , sort of

9:30

keeping the head in the sand . Then

9:32

you have the victim what's the point , you know , sort

9:34

of where is me ? And then the

9:36

motto who's very generous , sort of like

9:38

a mother , but can transition

9:40

into resentment . Then you've got the fool slash

9:43

, the gambler , a bit more of a risk taker

9:45

. And then you have the warrior

9:47

, like you mentioned , very action oriented

9:49

and successful . The tyrant

9:51

, who tends to hoard money . Money

9:53

is power and control .

9:55

And then the creator is very purpose driven

9:57

, lifestyle , freedom , not wanting

10:00

to feel sort of greedy , and the money magician

10:02

living in alignment with your truth so

10:05

with the warrior if they they're

10:07

not really open to other advice , and so I think I

10:09

just , you know , very protective and very generous

10:11

but not always open to kind of the views of

10:14

others , and so that can let them down . And

10:16

then you have the overdeveloped warrior , what we call the tyrant

10:18

, and if you think of Wolfsville , wall Street , that's kind

10:20

of your , your typical . You know that they need to hoard

10:22

money . Money's about having more . Its power

10:25

and control isn't necessarily aligned

10:27

to purpose and to kind of values

10:29

and what they want to achieve for them in

10:31

a lifestyle sense it's . It's there's this

10:33

fear of not being enough and fear

10:35

of losing , and so there's this kind of tendency

10:38

to want to hoard and accumulate wealth and assets

10:40

. But , as I said , underlying that is usually

10:42

kind of an undercurrent of fear and

10:45

loss of control . And then

10:47

the creator . I love the creator , artist type

10:49

. You know the creator is that part of all of us that

10:52

is really purpose driven and

10:54

that , you know , is is just all

10:56

about , yeah

10:58

, contributing and giving and and

11:00

so money , money

11:03

is enjoyed for what it can

11:05

afford in terms of , say , lifestyle

11:07

, freedom , but there isn't a

11:09

strong connection . There's still those kind of hidden

11:12

beliefs of of money is

11:14

. You know it's material

11:16

. I don't want to be associated with

11:18

with greed and money and materiality

11:20

it's . It's this kind of this dual or almost conflict

11:23

like relationship with money . And

11:25

so you know their role is really to make peace

11:28

with that , to see , well , wow , through , through

11:30

kind of the expression , the creation and expression

11:32

of my gifts in the world , I'm creating this amazing value

11:34

which is beneficial to all of us . So it's actually

11:36

a great thing to be , you know , to

11:39

be earning and making a recruiting value

11:41

and making money in the world . And then the

11:43

last one is the money magician . And it's

11:45

just you know the money magician is . So I say you

11:47

know money through the

11:50

attitude that you know , as long as I kind

11:52

of live , operate and live

11:54

in alignment with my truth and my purpose

11:56

, and you know trust and faith , everything's

11:59

gonna come to me as as it should , right

12:01

, so it's that almost the yeah , just

12:03

the , the very

12:07

conscious relationship with money

12:10

and wealth , because they don't see it as necessarily the

12:12

tangible money . It's actually

12:14

, again , it's just the , the contribution and

12:16

and sort of outward expression

12:18

of purpose and value in the world

12:21

that everybody can benefit from . So if

12:23

you take those archetypes . If you took a little bit

12:25

of the creator artist , who's very purpose driven , and

12:28

you have the magician who has the right , you

12:31

know , sort of attitude and you know faith

12:33

and trust and surrender to you , to the flow of

12:35

kind of the universe and life and all things

12:37

. And then the warrior who says , well , that's

12:39

great , I'm gonna take that attitude but put a really strong

12:41

action plan and go and make sure I've got my bank

12:43

account set up and that my debt is sorted and that I'm

12:45

, you know , got a plan for it , for

12:47

investment and growing wealth , you've

12:49

kind of got the ideal mix . And

12:51

so the I guess the road

12:54

or the pathway of money coaching is to take

12:56

people on that journey to allow them to connect

12:59

with those parts that that need that bit of refinement

13:02

and to help further , you know , temper those kind

13:04

of more challenging energies and then

13:06

and start to enhance the

13:08

more powered , the more empowering ones

13:10

.

13:12

And so I think you might have just mentioned it , but

13:14

the sort of optimal Archetypes

13:17

that you want to tap into is did you say

13:19

it was the warrior , the creator and the money

13:21

magician ?

13:22

Yeah , yeah , we always sort of say you've got kind of your warrior

13:24

in the driving seat , your magicians

13:26

next to them , because the warriors taking the action

13:28

mission next time and the creators kind of in the back going

13:31

. You know , this is where

13:33

this is where I think we should go . So yeah , it's just

13:35

a little bit of an analogy . To sort

13:37

of sum them up , yeah , yeah

13:39

, that's really cool Talk , maybe a little bit about

13:41

I'm doing it just Knowing

13:44

kind of , I guess , the archetypes and having it sort

13:46

of how that can sort of play out . Maybe just some

13:48

of the kind of top money blocks that

13:50

might pop up ? Totally , yeah , of course . And

13:54

so , and actually I'm just gonna make a couple

13:56

of notes here this morning on this , let me just pull down

13:58

. So I'd say , first of all , so some of the signs

14:00

that people might have Actually

14:03

, no , let's start with the blocks and then some of the signs that they exist

14:05

, so some of the things

14:07

that can , I guess , prevent us or

14:09

Come in the way of

14:11

us . You know , I talk about sort of unleashing your

14:13

wealth potential and that's through , you know

14:15

, connecting with your values and your mission and your purpose

14:18

in life and generally , but also , as that relates

14:20

to money , so that's and what might come back to that

14:22

around the importance of connecting with your values . But

14:25

some of the common blocks that that do this are

14:27

, you know , our beliefs , that our belief system

14:29

is number one . So , whether

14:31

it's I have a lack of belief in my ability

14:35

or my , my

14:37

what's the word ? My right , I suppose , to

14:39

earn and have lots of money . It

14:41

might also be what I perceive to be a lot , because

14:43

I've grown up in it in an environment where

14:46

there , you know , there's been more of like , maybe

14:48

more of a scarcity mindset , and so to me

14:50

, you know , a hundred , say , a thousand

14:52

dollars is a lot of money , whereas in another area

14:55

, like a million dollars , might be a lot . And so

14:57

, as we know , you know , knowing where our I

14:59

guess our belief system is , we often don't

15:01

actually move through that unless we actually believe it

15:03

to be possible . So your beliefs are really , really

15:05

, really number one and

15:07

we do a lot of work around sort of how to reframe

15:10

any beliefs that may be limiting people

15:12

financially and also negative

15:14

beliefs around money , so associating

15:16

money with , with greed or

15:18

you know I have to work harder , and

15:20

those sorts of things . So it's really looking at

15:23

the how those things might be Presented

15:25

in kind of a more of a negative and a limiting context

15:27

and how to reframe them . Also

15:30

, fear , you know , fear of if I

15:32

have more money , people might think about , look

15:34

at me differently , or , as

15:36

I said before , you know , I might have to work so much

15:38

harder I'm gonna be stressed out . So fears

15:40

relation to money or if

15:43

I have lots of money . You know , I just saw my family

15:45

go through this , so I'm afraid I'm gonna

15:47

get it and I'm gonna lose it all . So what's the point and

15:50

these are often when I'm talking about these blocks these are usually

15:53

hidden , these aren't , these aren't conscious to

15:55

us . And again , just kind of

15:57

to give a little bit more context around

15:59

sort of the money psychology , you

16:02

know , when we're , most

16:05

of our kind of Decisions

16:07

around money are kind of driven by that emotional

16:09

center which drives kind of 75%

16:11

of our decisions . There's really only five to 10%

16:14

that are being , that are that are kind of

16:16

actions , that decisions and actions are being

16:18

driven by that logical thinking center . And

16:21

that's , you know , most things as we know . But

16:23

that's the whole purpose of this is like helping

16:25

us to bring awareness to , to those kind of

16:27

those unconscious , hidden blocks that are

16:29

sort of standing in our way . The

16:32

third block might be just lack of taking action and this is

16:34

, you know , procrastination . And that's

16:36

why you know developing that warrior is so important

16:38

is getting clear on our goals and what it is that we

16:40

want to do to move forward , and putting you know some

16:42

framework around that Negative

16:45

self-talk which is

16:47

up there with kind of your negative beliefs . But just , you know that was stupid

16:49

. You know I , what's

16:53

the point in going for that promotion ? I'm not going

16:55

to get it . They're going to hire him

16:57

or her , that sort of thing . Negative

17:01

emotions towards others . So you know

17:03

there's a lot of Without

17:05

even being aware necessarily , but projection around . You know , why

17:07

are they so ? Why are they in that role ? They don't

17:10

deserve it . Or you know why should they have that nice house

17:12

or car , whatever

17:15

it might be ? But negative towards others ? Again , we're sort of when

17:18

we are . Yeah

17:22

, I guess it's just creating kind of a negative energy field . Right , yeah

17:25

, for abundance . So it's just sort of pushing that

17:27

abundance barrier sort of further out . A set

17:29

of voidants already , that's a very obvious one . It's just too hard to

17:31

stick my head in the

17:33

sand . Also , not asking for help . So and

17:35

this is very market like is just , I can do it all my

17:38

own . So you

17:40

know , I'll just sort it out when actually it

17:42

probably it might make sense to ask for help . Get

17:44

a money coach , get a financial advisor , talk to your partner

17:46

, you know , find

17:48

a , find a group of people that are interested in learning more

17:50

and talking about money , worshiping

17:54

money . So this is your , you know , your tyrant Type

17:58

, and that's just again . It's not aligned with purpose

18:00

and values , and so the universe is just simply not going to respond

18:02

in the way that we want it to Holding money similarly , so

18:04

I don't want to spend anything . Think about Scrooge just

18:06

going to keep all my money in my

18:08

coins here in the office . Who's

18:11

that going to serve ? You know nothing . Money is to enjoy . It's

18:13

here to create . It's reflects our you

18:15

know , the expression of our kind of gifts and talents

18:18

and our , you

18:20

know , creation of value in the world is there to be enjoyed . That's , that's

18:22

its purpose . Otherwise , you know what's it for ? Lack

18:24

of gratitude is a huge one , and so gratitude is a big piece of the

18:26

pie , as we know . In all . You know a lot of mindset

18:29

practices , particularly in money , and

18:32

you know little things like when you get paid and you know

18:34

I've just re-entered the corporate realm and I can say having money

18:36

, regular income , hit my

18:39

bank account like I'm very great , I'm very grateful , you know , and sitting

18:41

there and taking a moment to just kind of , I'm

18:45

very grateful , you know , and sitting

18:47

there and taking a moment to acknowledge that and go

18:49

Wow , you know , thank you , this feels really good and

18:51

and sort of inviting more of it into our lives

18:54

, having

18:56

very unclear goals . And so

18:58

there's two elements to this Not

19:01

yet absolutely not having unclear goals , because

19:03

again the universe reflects back to us that

19:05

you know what we are putting out and

19:07

if we are saying I'm not really sure

19:10

, or it's this or it's this , doesn't

19:12

really know how to respond . So we have to

19:14

be like the warrior . We have to be really clear on what it is that we're out

19:16

to achieve . How much do we want to save

19:18

? What is it that we want to do

19:20

with our money ? Is it that trip ? Is it ? Is it to

19:22

? You know how much do I want to be able to give

19:24

to this organization ? Or you know what's

19:26

the ? What house do I want and where is it ? So

19:28

just being very clear about what we want to do with

19:31

our , with our , with

19:33

our money , not taking responsibility

19:36

. So that's also kind of the victim archetype

19:38

a little bit , and also the innocent little

19:40

bit up there with avoidance , but really just you

19:42

know , hands off sort of approach

19:44

, somebody else can deal with it

19:46

, yeah , and

19:48

I think that's that's kind of the main , the main ones . I said

19:50

negative beliefs in my , you know , money is evil and

19:53

wealthy people are bad , so

19:56

those sorts of things . So those are kind

19:58

of some of the main blocks , and I think also

20:00

for entrepreneurs . When I just wanted to mention was was kind of bargaining

20:02

with the universe , a little

20:04

bit the kind of if , when

20:06

then , and look , this works with children , and

20:17

I will do that . You know , it comes down to that analogy

20:19

of around . You know , be , be the

20:21

expression that you want to be in the world . You know

20:24

, be the change you want to be in the world , do act

20:26

in alignment with that , and then

20:28

you'll have everything you want , but rather

20:30

than the other way around . So so

20:32

that's a really , really important one , I think , for

20:35

people in business and entrepreneurs to consider

20:37

.

20:39

It's really yeah , it's really interesting , just especially

20:41

the part you mentioned about oftentimes

20:43

the limiting beliefs or the blocks are quite

20:46

hidden under the surface and so it

20:48

can take time to sort of , yeah , figure out okay what

20:50

, what's going on here , because you can't

20:53

really correct a belief unless you know sort of what

20:55

, what it is first . So , yeah

20:57

, it makes a lot of sense . I really liked the

21:00

I mean , they're all good , but the taking responsibility

21:02

piece . I know I know for me like I

21:04

would play small . You know I never really would ask , you

21:07

know , for a raise when I , when I used

21:09

to work in in the corporate sector

21:11

and and just you know , once

21:13

I started taking responsibility and just asking

21:15

for what I wanted and started , just I

21:18

think for me it was a big part of it was seeing seeing

21:20

my own value and seeing the contribution

21:22

I was making , and then you

21:24

know , just being like , well , this is what I think

21:26

I'm worth , I'm going to charge this and then if people

21:29

don't see that value , then I

21:31

don't think I want to work with them , and that

21:33

really helped me to step into it and

21:35

then people started paying me , you

21:37

know what I wanted . So it's

21:39

it's really yeah , it's really interesting about

21:41

like shifting those beliefs and and taking that responsibility

21:44

as well . Yeah , it's really important .

21:47

Absolutely , and I mean that's , you know what you're talking about . There

21:49

is a couple of things , and one I think is just

21:51

having those really firm boundaries and those can be really

21:53

hard to implement because you're actually having to stand

21:55

up for yourself worth and you know

21:57

, knowing I am worth this , and I think again

22:00

, as women , we've lived in this society for so long where we've

22:02

been told what we're worth , right , we've

22:04

been told you're at this level . You're at this level and

22:07

you know what I've learned or what I'm learning . And look

22:09

, this is this is daily practice . You know not

22:11

, but I just want to make clear by all means , I haven't mastered

22:14

all of my money . You know fears and limiting

22:16

beliefs . It is daily practice , which is why I love this

22:18

work , because a lot of my personal

22:20

growth , I know , is tied up in my own self worth around

22:22

what I do and what I earn , and you know what I have

22:24

and things like that , and you know that that's a

22:26

reflection of kind of my own upbringing . But

22:29

I've learned that you know we

22:32

, we project on

22:35

to what we think other . You know we're

22:37

, we're projecting on to others what we think they're

22:39

thinking . So if you're saying I don't , you know

22:41

I'm not going to ask for a raise because I don't think they're going

22:43

to give it to me . Well , you're projecting that

22:45

onto them and of course , they're going to mirror that back . It's like

22:47

the universe . It's going to mirror back what you were thinking

22:49

and what you're feeling . We always say external

22:51

kind of external bank account , bank account

22:54

follows internal bank account . If you project

22:56

on to your you know , wherever you're working , or on

22:58

to the universe that I'm worth this and I'm going to

23:00

get this and not get that sounds not

23:02

the right language , but , you know , aligned

23:05

with my purpose , I am , I feel I'm valued

23:08

at , I'm worth this , then people are

23:10

going to see that and they're going to respond to that and

23:12

that's what you're going to get back . So I think we've

23:14

also we've so often been caught in this trap

23:16

of I'm afraid to ask for the raise , I'm afraid to ask for

23:18

that promotion . They're not going to think I am actually

23:20

. It's you that doesn't think that you can . It's you

23:22

that doesn't think that you're worth it . They'll

23:24

believe whatever you , the energy that you emanate

23:27

about yourself and the value you project is

23:29

what people are going to see . So , but

23:31

that takes practice , a lot of practice

23:33

. Yeah , encourage really yeah , totally

23:36

, totally .

23:36

And so I guess for , say , people listening

23:38

who perhaps identify with this and

23:41

go , yeah , I've got these money blocks , or I've

23:43

got these archetypes like how do I

23:45

, how do , how do I move forward ? What would you

23:47

sort of how do you help

23:49

people sort of move forward from from that

23:51

?

23:51

yeah , so that I mean there is , as

23:53

I said before , that

23:56

each person is kind of a bit of a tailored plan for

23:58

for everyone , depending on what they're dealing with

24:00

. But let's say you're

24:02

a so if

24:04

I kind of put it more into practice him , so say , if you're somebody

24:07

that just can't , that has

24:09

, because of that , that full archetype

24:11

and you know , maybe when you're younger you missed out and so

24:13

now it's all about kind of experiencing life

24:15

and having it all . Now you know there might be

24:17

. There's number one I would say to people

24:20

is is on a practical side , is everybody

24:22

should have like set what we call a segregated bank

24:24

account structure . So developing

24:26

good money habits , bank

24:28

account structure means you know

24:30

that you you , depending on how you

24:32

earn your money , when that money comes in , you have this

24:34

. You know you have another account which or

24:36

maybe two , three or four accounts , depending on

24:39

what your priorities are you know for savings

24:41

, for bills and living might be

24:43

for that longer term goal and you have

24:45

those account set ups that when the money comes in , a certain

24:48

amount is automatically funneled to them . It

24:50

takes away the temptation . The money hits the account

24:52

, it's gone . You don't actually have to make the decision . It

24:54

kind of removes that , that impulse from

24:57

you . So that's one thing that I think all money types

24:59

can do when we're trying to develop

25:01

good habits and savings . Because

25:05

, yeah , so that's that's definitely number one , because

25:07

it's a lot easier to save money than people

25:09

realize , and I've learned this as well . You know , putting

25:11

$10 away each week , start with that

25:13

, start with , then move up to 100 , sort of

25:15

build that and just realize that actually I

25:17

didn't notice nothing in my life is actually

25:19

changed . That

25:22

is one thing . If you're somebody

25:25

, as I said also , that tends to overspend starting

25:28

to like

25:30

I always advise people put a minimum threshold

25:32

. And if you're an entrepreneur that likes the money

25:34

comes in and then we like to go out and spend it , set

25:37

a minimum threshold for which you want

25:39

to keep in your bank account and never let your money

25:41

go beneath that . Use that as your trigger point and

25:45

then keep building on that . Once you know that that's

25:47

possible , keep building , because

25:49

it's kind of like you're mentally

25:52

or what's the word ? Energetically you're

25:54

kind of raising your own financial

25:57

ceiling glass ceiling

25:59

. You're just pushing it further up and

26:01

your self-worth is going to move along with that . For

26:04

some people it might be a matter of paying yourself first

26:07

. So if you're a martyr that tends to spend

26:09

on everybody else , it's like my money comes

26:11

in . This is my kind of my

26:13

fun account . But I've got this account over here where I always

26:15

pay myself first and then I pay

26:17

for bills and holidays and all those sorts

26:19

of things . But it's actually building

26:21

that sense of I am worth it and I

26:23

deserve it . So

26:26

and so that you don't be the one that you're

26:28

not missing out and feeling resentful that at the

26:30

end of it , what

26:33

else would there be ? You

26:35

know the beliefs , as

26:37

I said , understanding . So a little

26:39

exercise that I get most people to do is to

26:41

, at the beginning , is to list out kind of their top

26:44

sort of five beliefs around money . Just write

26:46

phrases around what it is that you , how

26:48

you associate money or what you associate it with , and

26:51

then go through that exercise of challenging

26:53

those . So how

26:55

is that showing up in my life ? Where

26:57

does it actually come from ? Is that like an inherited

27:00

belief or a conditioned belief ? Or is it mine

27:02

? What if I was to rewrite that

27:04

in a way that was more empowering ? So

27:06

, for example

27:10

, I'm not worthy of having a lot

27:12

of money . I might be . You know , when

27:15

I make lots of money I can create . You know , through

27:17

my work I create , you

27:20

know , a wonderful

27:22

kind of impact and you know , in the world

27:24

. Or you know just something more

27:26

simple would be you know , money . I'm

27:29

not here to like , abundance

27:31

isn't something I need , abundance

27:33

isn't something I earned , it's something I claim

27:35

. You know we all come into the world with a right

27:38

to kind of infinite

27:40

abundance . So we're actually reclaiming that rather than

27:42

earning it . So beliefs taking

27:44

through an exercise of reframing

27:46

beliefs is really really useful

27:49

. And then

27:51

money mantras . So you know I've got

27:53

pages of you know things . Like you

27:56

know money is

27:58

, yeah , just

28:00

really positive kind of affirmations around money

28:02

. So definitely you know practicing

28:04

those meditations around

28:06

sort of energetic things . So there's lots of practical

28:08

things . There's a mixture of , as I said , kind of

28:11

the more sort of spiritual and mindset things

28:13

, and then there's more around the practical

28:15

things , around what they do to

28:17

in order to kind of start to build

28:19

up their get the more

28:21

kind of clarity , confidence and control around their money

28:23

in the external world . But it

28:25

really does start , as I said , with that kind of internal

28:27

side . So that's kind of a number of things

28:30

. But you know , I know that was a little jumbled around , but there's , dependent

28:32

on what you're dealing with , there's

28:34

kind of a tailored plan for each person .

28:37

Yeah , for sure that may sense . It reminds

28:39

me of a book I read a couple of years ago

28:41

. I think it was called Wired for Wealth

28:43

and it was all about getting beyond

28:45

. Like everyone has their own financial comfort zone

28:47

and what they're used to and what feels

28:50

normal , and so it's sort of

28:52

a similar thing of you know , working through your beliefs

28:54

and restructuring them . You know , to move beyond

28:56

a financial comfort zone and that might be earning

28:59

a certain amount , like a high amount of money , or

29:01

it might be earning a low amount of money , like you've got your

29:04

financial comfort zone and then you've got you

29:06

know on discomfort on either side of that . So

29:08

that was really helpful , I think , just to

29:10

be like , oh okay , like there's a reason I'm feeling

29:12

this way or whatever . And

29:15

even what you said about the starting small

29:17

with the $10 a week into the bank account . It

29:20

reminds me of Atomic Habits by James

29:22

Clear of just yeah , such

29:24

a great book Just setting

29:27

those habits in place and then , once

29:29

they're in place , you can build them , like you said . I think

29:31

is really important . Yeah

29:33

.

29:33

I recommend everybody read that book . Another

29:36

book I suggest everybody read is and it's very old school

29:38

, it's very written by men blah , blah , blah . But like the original

29:40

Think and Grow Rich , that kind

29:42

of just tells you , you know how you , you know not

29:45

to go too off tangent , but you know how we literally have the

29:47

power to kind of bend reality and financial

29:49

reality into our favor . So Think

29:52

and Grow Rich is a really great one and Atomic Habits

29:54

for any type of habits , you know , whether that's health , relationships

29:56

, money , everything . But yeah , absolutely , I

29:59

was also going to say for entrepreneurs or people that are kind of that

30:01

, more love to play with money , whether

30:03

they're the hoarders , the accumulators , the

30:05

whatever is . Gamification is

30:08

kind of another thing . So setting

30:10

money kind of gains and goals , and

30:12

it might be something like you know , if I earn

30:14

this much by this state , then I get

30:16

to , you know , immediately I get to go on a trip

30:18

or do something . So it's setting themselves up for success

30:21

by allowing themselves to indulge in that sense of

30:23

reward . But , you know

30:25

, giving them the challenge which really , really stimulates

30:27

them . So you know , there's all sorts of different ways

30:29

of depending on your type

30:32

and also , I'd say , somebody who is more

30:35

the creator kind of artist type or they're very kind of , they

30:37

relate with , they're more sort of interested in like

30:39

a social aspect of money . You

30:41

know they might want to do things like

30:43

with people . So if they want to , you know , in terms

30:46

of wealth creation strategy , it might be kind of investing

30:48

in a cooperative or you

30:51

know anything that's got like a social impact or a purpose

30:53

. So it gives them a reason to be

30:55

, you know , wanting to kind of invest and move their

30:57

kind of their wealth dial forward . So

30:59

yeah , it really comes down to

31:01

archetypes and personalities and how we relate

31:03

to others .

31:05

And I guess to like , by understanding

31:07

what archetypes you have inside

31:09

of your sort of tendencies , you can then

31:11

figure out okay , these are my weak spots

31:13

. And then here's some goals to really counteract

31:16

that , versus just going in

31:18

blind . You know , like you're saying with the

31:20

entrepreneurs and the gamification and reward

31:22

system , you know , by knowing

31:24

your archetype , I imagine

31:26

it'd be easier to then , you know

31:28

, set goals that really motivate you

31:30

based on your behavioral

31:32

tendencies around money . Yeah

31:36

, yeah , that's cool . And so

31:38

I guess , for someone who say

31:42

, someone who's parents

31:45

thought of money , or someone who doesn't believe

31:47

I'm not worthy of money

31:49

, what like ? So going through

31:51

this process , like how long

31:53

would it take ? Or I'm in my very per person

31:55

, but what are some of the

31:57

results you've seen in people when they

31:59

take charge of their money beliefs

32:02

and overcome these money blocks

32:04

?

32:05

Yeah , look , I mean , as I said at

32:07

the very beginning , going on this journey

32:10

and , you know , going into the behavioral side

32:12

, it can be quite an emotional experience

32:14

. There's lots of stuff that comes up , lots of childhood

32:17

traumas and lots of kind of negative experiences

32:19

to which , you know , people haven't necessarily connected

32:21

with it well , so , look , it can get quite deep work

32:24

. So through that process , you

32:26

know , obviously and there's certain

32:28

areas which I wouldn't necessarily go into because I'm not

32:30

qualified , but you know , if we get there , that's that

32:32

I would obviously refer them elsewhere . But

32:35

going through that is a . The

32:39

benefit of that is not

32:41

just that we bring newfound awareness to

32:43

kind of their own relationship or lack

32:45

of relationship with money . That then

32:47

allows them to make

32:50

a more conscious plan

32:52

for how they will overcome and kind of

32:54

navigate some of the blocks like the

32:56

feast or famine cycles . You know , money comes

32:59

in , it goes out , or

33:01

just never getting above a certain amount or

33:03

never earning above a certain amount . So , as

33:06

they bring awareness and then the strategies are put

33:08

in place to start working with those , the

33:11

benefits are not just that . Yes , they start

33:13

to get a bit more control . You

33:16

know , I think about one entrepreneur I worked with and I

33:18

was just gonna say that the benefits are

33:21

extends beyond money because there's also this official

33:23

emotional healing that's happening along the

33:25

way . It's awareness across all pillars

33:27

, as I always say . But you know

33:29

, for an example , an entrepreneur , a friend

33:32

of mine , she's just , you know , very social

33:34

impact driven , but

33:37

she grew up in a very in

33:39

a real sort of environment of scarcity

33:42

and lack . You know , to the point that

33:44

there were times where you know her and her mother were

33:46

sleeping in a car for days

33:48

on end and literally , you know , her mom was withdrawn

33:51

and you know , just couldn't connect because

33:53

she was obviously had her own sort of , you know

33:56

, emotional blockages and traumas and

33:58

I'm sure it didn't feel like she was being the best

34:00

mother she could be and so therefore kind of withdrew

34:02

love in a way , even though she obviously loved her child

34:04

very much . So this , you know , this person

34:06

ended up , you know , being

34:09

conditioned that and

34:12

also she was also sort of felt

34:14

in way she was deprived of certain things . There

34:16

was a bit of guilt . You know there was guilt if there

34:18

was a need for anything or if she had money

34:20

or spent . So there was always this kind

34:22

of sense of I'm not worthy or there's guilt

34:25

and shame attached with me actually having

34:27

anything . So as she goes out into the

34:29

world and becomes this wonderful entrepreneur with all

34:31

these ideas and creating , you know , amazing

34:33

, you know a wonderful

34:35

impact for other communities , it

34:39

was that scenario of whatever came

34:41

in was going out . So there was never money for

34:43

her because there was this deep seated

34:45

sort of , you know , fear

34:48

of , Well

34:50

, lack of worthiness , I suppose a lack of value

34:53

and worthiness around having and

34:55

creating her own money . It was always for other

34:57

people , it was never for her , so it was always

34:59

just given away , and so that

35:01

would limit her ability to kind of grow her business

35:04

to the way that she needed to , because she actually needs

35:06

to have money in the bank account for her own living

35:08

and for her own family , but also she wants

35:10

to continue to kind of grow and

35:13

expand in other areas . So look

35:16

at that journey with her . She's expressed

35:18

to me and there's other examples . This is kind of

35:20

an extreme example , but that was just a really , really

35:22

profound experience

35:25

to go back and to be able to connect

35:27

kind of the early childhood , what she went through

35:29

with , her kind of current

35:31

financial circumstance and why she was finding it

35:33

so hard to kind of move beyond that

35:35

because she hadn't connected with money

35:37

in a healthy way , she hadn't determined her own sense

35:39

of self-worth and value in this world . It

35:41

was always about everybody else because

35:43

she was yeah , that's

35:46

how her experience growing up . So

35:49

now one of the things we started with her was set

35:51

that minimum threshold when the money comes

35:53

in , set it aside and

35:55

then do whatever you want with the rest of it , but just start

35:57

there and get used to having that . It's like it's almost

36:00

. My old coach talks about increasing

36:03

your financial , your

36:05

energetic , cash maximum , moving

36:08

that up a little bit or

36:10

polish . You talk about frequency . I talk about elevating

36:12

your financial frequency . And as you get used

36:15

to that level , then you're ready to push to the next level

36:17

. And it's not overnight , it's a series of steps

36:19

. And so when I also say , look

36:21

, this work , it brings awareness so we can start to build

36:23

those habits . But how long it takes to build and

36:25

sustain those habits is varies

36:27

by person , as I said , even with me

36:30

it's I have to continually bring my awareness

36:32

back to this work so that I can sort

36:34

of see how I might

36:36

be feeling in a situation in relation

36:39

to money or an investment or earning , and

36:41

then what I'm doing , my impulse to kind of spend

36:44

or not spend , or

36:46

how I'm feeling towards somebody else that has

36:48

more money or more assets than me , that

36:51

type of thing . So it's constantly bringing

36:53

your awareness back so that you can then just

36:56

make more conscious and more aligned

36:58

choices moving forward

37:00

. But it's continual work . As

37:02

somebody said , the traumas that we go through , the experiences

37:05

we have , whereas I think it's an atomic habits

37:07

, actually , he said , once you learn a habit , it's never forgotten

37:09

. So it's like any experience in our life it's

37:11

always going to be stored in us . Yes , we can , we

37:14

apply practices to shift that

37:16

energy into temperates hold on us , but

37:18

it's always going to be there . So there's always going to

37:20

be that risk of falling back into these patterns of

37:22

financial self-sabotage , unless

37:25

we continually come back to the work and continually

37:27

bring our awareness to where it hasn't

37:29

served us .

37:33

It's really interesting , especially about

37:36

I think traditionally it's

37:38

spending gets such a bad rap

37:40

. Shouldn't spend so much . They

37:42

should be better with managing your money . And

37:46

I think , like you mentioned , of this

37:48

woman who spent

37:50

it on everyone else , or people who don't , who

37:53

save too much and then don't

37:55

enjoy their money , and so it's almost

37:57

like it's

37:59

everything in balance and

38:02

the more we try and control money , it's

38:05

almost like our emotions just

38:07

really dictate how we spend our

38:09

money and so if

38:12

we're not regulated , yeah , Absolutely

38:14

.

38:14

You touched on that and it's funny

38:16

. This has been in conversation with a few people this week . But

38:20

I've been noticing my eight-year-old

38:22

and he's going through these big emotions now they

38:25

just go through different waves of and they

38:27

just become completely unregulated

38:29

and

38:32

I can either sit there and get

38:34

into power with him but they talk about power versus

38:36

force or I can try and

38:38

regulate myself and stay calm

38:40

and try to discharge that energy

38:42

with my own sense of calm and look for

38:45

the opportunity to understand and

38:47

connect with him so that then we can

38:49

move on from there . But as I was going

38:51

through this , I was just like you know what ? Everything

38:54

in life money , relationships

38:58

just work . It's all about

39:00

learning to ride these waves of emotions

39:02

that we have , but in order to ride

39:04

them , we need to actually be able to recognize

39:07

them , and so that's what we say . Like

39:09

80% of this work is around

39:11

getting to understand ourselves

39:14

and the patterns , the

39:16

beliefs and the manifestations

39:18

of beliefs and patterns and behaviors that

39:21

we've inherited , to see how they're playing

39:23

out in life , because that's really

39:25

where the work is learning to self-regulate

39:27

and learning to navigate those emotions and

39:30

in order to be able to make better

39:32

choices is really kind

39:34

of what it's all about . So , yeah , talking about just surfing

39:36

the life of emotions really day in , day

39:38

out , and that never changes . I don't think yeah

39:41

.

39:42

It is , yeah

39:44

, and , like you said , you know , it's sort of it

39:46

flows into every area , not just money , like

39:48

into , like said , relationships and business

39:51

and everything it's , you

39:53

know , and it's , if we don't give these emotions

39:56

a voice , or if we don't kind

39:58

of give voice to these experiences that we

40:00

have with my children that , you know , shape our beliefs

40:02

around money or around work or around

40:05

you know anything , then they're

40:07

just going to continue to dominate us

40:09

until we kind of go

40:11

into them and explore them , you know , with curiosity

40:13

, and be like , oh , like I wonder where that came from , or yeah

40:16

, it's , it's really interesting . Yeah , yeah , and I

40:19

was going to say .

40:20

There's another thing that sort of come up for

40:22

me in the last few weeks and this is you know , we can

40:24

dive into money and relationships a little bit if you want

40:26

, yeah , but

40:28

you know I probably an example

40:30

, example look , it's

40:32

within somebody

40:35

that I very much care about is is , you know , in

40:37

a relationship with somebody and I've

40:39

really been kind of observing the , the kind of the

40:42

relationship and the financial dynamics

40:44

in that relationship and trying to understand

40:46

how these kind of patterns play out . And you

40:48

know this is going to be really relevant to a lot of women

40:50

out there and , and

40:53

you know , really anybody that's in a relationship where one person

40:55

tends to have much more kind of control over

40:57

, over the money . And so what I've observed

40:59

in this relationship is because these two people have

41:01

had very different trajectories . You know he's had

41:03

a , you know , very linear kind

41:06

of career and

41:08

you know progressed over time to be earning

41:10

very , very decent money and creating

41:12

sort of wealth and a plan . And she's

41:14

had a lot of setbacks in life like health setbacks

41:17

and things that have kind of prevented her from being

41:19

able to kind of earn , you know

41:22

, fulfill her career objectives and

41:24

and earn money in the way that she's wanted

41:26

. So , whilst they kind of started out here

41:28

together , they've gone on this journey of life and financially

41:31

, you know , he's moved up that echelon and

41:33

what's happened in that process and which is very

41:35

common , is then the power . The balance

41:37

of power in the relationship shifts . And

41:40

what I've seen in this is and

41:42

you know , despite having a child and you know

41:44

her enormous amount of time and

41:46

investment in kind of the family . Because

41:49

we as a society I guess this comes back

41:51

to the society how we're , you know , how we've been

41:53

conditioned because we tend

41:55

to value what we can see , which

41:57

is the house and the car and the trips and

41:59

the material things you know he's bringing

42:01

home , kind of the money that pays for the kind

42:04

of the lifestyle we tend to put

42:06

more . You know , without being aware we're putting so much

42:08

value on that and what we're

42:10

not necessarily , because it's so visible and it's more

42:12

immediate . And yet on the other

42:14

side , what we're not necessarily valuing is

42:16

this kind of investment

42:19

in kind of nurturing . You

42:21

know the next

42:23

, you know little souls like you know she's

42:25

at home , kind of looking after the household

42:27

and looking after the people around her and kind

42:29

of nurturing and investing time into , you

42:32

know , the little person who's going to grow into be a great human

42:34

being and , to use the title , the

42:36

analogy of the Titanic , like you can't necessarily

42:38

see the immediate rewards of that

42:40

. That's something that takes place over time as these little

42:43

humans develop and who they become in the world

42:45

, as they start to fulfill their own potential

42:47

. But what's that's done is over

42:49

time is because you know the

42:51

financial imbalance has been so strong and

42:53

you know he's someone very , you know , got

42:55

those kind of more warrior , tyrant tendencies to

42:57

like have control and make all the decisions and

43:00

kind of hand the money out according

43:02

to what he thinks is you know enough

43:04

the confidence on this

43:06

side has waned in terms of her own

43:08

self worth and her own , you know sort

43:11

of what she's , you

43:13

know what she's doing in the world

43:15

and her contribution and and

43:18

so the relationship dynamics have started to , you

43:20

know , have really started to pull apart or

43:23

separate . And you know

43:25

I kind of keep thinking like geez , if things were

43:27

financially balanced between them , would they

43:29

really be having these issues ? Like , actually I

43:31

don't think so , because there would be sense of more balance

43:33

. So how is it that we are ? It's

43:36

just a real sort of point of contention for me

43:38

around as a society , do

43:40

we need to kind of start applying that lens

43:42

more broadly , that

43:44

you know money isn't . You know money

43:46

is , it really is just kind of it's . Money

43:49

is like an outpouring of our , of our own kind

43:51

of energy and and attention is in the world

43:53

and however that manifests , and whether that's through

43:55

, you know , buying clothes

43:57

in a car and going on holidays or it's

43:59

actually , you know , raising

44:02

really whole

44:05

, you know conscious little human

44:07

beings , we need to shift

44:09

our kind of value set on that or really bring attention to

44:11

what , what , what we value , because ultimately

44:14

that is what going to yield more

44:16

than this , that is more , you know , got more longevity

44:18

to it . So so yeah , that was

44:20

just something I thought for women to just bring attention to

44:22

. If there's this feeling of , or a lot of people , not just

44:24

a gender thing , it could

44:26

be anyone but if you're in a relationship where these dynamics

44:29

of playing out might really be time to kind

44:31

of just bring your own awareness , to start

44:33

challenging your own beliefs around you

44:35

know , your own sense of self worth around what

44:37

you're contributing and

44:40

, and you know , is there , I don't know

44:42

, is there scope through , you know , having

44:44

that conversation of starting to bring more

44:46

awareness into the relationship around . You know

44:49

the values and the contribution , both

44:51

on the . You know the material and the

44:53

. I guess the tangible and the intangible side , because

44:55

it does like money can become when

44:58

this imbalance plays out there's . You

45:00

know it can be and I've seen in my own family as well

45:03

, with my parents . You know that

45:05

that is often kind of the root cause of a

45:08

lot of , you know , separation

45:10

and conflict in relationships

45:12

.

45:15

Yeah , it's interesting , definitely the money piece

45:17

in relationships . Do

45:19

you think it's because people identify

45:22

so much with how much they earn ? You

45:24

know that that becomes very much a part of who they

45:26

are , and so if they're with someone

45:28

who doesn't feel

45:30

aligned in terms of how much money they

45:32

make or , like you said , they're not valuing the

45:35

raising of a child or children , that

45:38

that that's the cause of the disc , like

45:40

of the clash , or what do you think ? Yeah , I think

45:42

one of the big .

45:43

I mean , one of the big things is that we have is that

45:45

we , without being aware of it , is so many of us

45:47

we tie

45:49

up . Our kind of , our sense of our

45:52

self worth is tied to our net worth , and

45:54

so I am more because I have more

45:56

. I am more because I do more . You know it's

45:58

that and we're and again , we're not even aware of it

46:00

because if you strip all of that away , if you strip away

46:02

your income , if you strip away your house and your clothes

46:05

and all those things you're standing in a field

46:07

with , you know they're naked . Who

46:10

are you ? Right , because

46:12

, and so we can tend to put these , these

46:14

kind of layers around us , around

46:17

the things that we've done and we've accumulated , and

46:19

so that's so that , yeah , that's that's one of the biggest

46:21

sort of one

46:23

of the biggest blocks around

46:25

you know , creating and and and and , I

46:28

guess , attracting more abundances , because we're

46:30

so tied up in in our

46:33

sort of what it is that we have

46:35

and how that reflects our self worth , rather than

46:37

you know , looking at the , yeah

46:39

, just who you are as a person , what it is that you

46:41

value , and how you're showing up in the world and how

46:43

you're , you know , impacting the lives

46:46

of others and contributing to , to

46:48

the whole . So , yeah , that's

46:50

it . That's one of the biggest , one of the biggest blocks

46:52

to money blocks that there is .

46:56

It's interesting . I talked to my brother and

46:58

I do a podcast sometimes together and

47:00

a question came in from a

47:02

man actually , and he

47:04

, he earns less than his wife . His wife actually

47:06

earns a lot more than him , and

47:08

so that was causing some

47:11

issues in their relationship because it

47:13

was sort of challenging , I guess , those traditional stereotypes

47:15

of the man earning more than the woman , and in

47:17

this case it was reversed and so , you

47:19

know , she was kind of putting the hard word

47:21

on him to earn more and it was causing , like

47:24

causing some disconnect and so , yeah

47:26

, it's interesting just how the scripts can

47:29

really play out and just just

47:31

how much what people earn like I mean , it's just a

47:33

number about what what people earn can really

47:36

affect , you know , relationships

47:38

.

47:38

And there's two things that I was going to . Something that comes to mind is I love

47:41

the saying that you know you're

47:43

never going to have enough until

47:45

you feel you are enough . So it actually

47:48

your , you know your self worth is what drives

47:50

like inner . Sorry , outer follows inner . You know how

47:53

we feel about ourselves inside , what we believe

47:55

about ourselves in our own sort of sense of

47:57

worth and value . That is what is going to

47:59

drive , you know , the manifestation of the external

48:01

world . So we just have it so far around . You know

48:03

the wrong way . We think it's as more . I think it's

48:05

that whole thing about be do have

48:08

rather than have do be . And

48:10

yeah , what

48:12

was the other ? There was something else I was going to say there . What did

48:15

go back to your ? What was your last ?

48:16

comment on that , just with the women , the

48:18

woman earning more than the man and putting

48:20

the hard word on him to sort

48:22

of just just the reversal of gender scripts

48:24

, I guess , yeah , in different relationships .

48:26

Yeah , absolutely so that's , that's kind

48:29

of the societal imprint right . That's

48:31

the conditioned imprint that we have as a society

48:33

. So there's a lot of work , you know , in this , in this kind of

48:35

money consciousness world

48:38

, you know , one of the biggest things is , you know , let's bring awareness

48:40

to this . But then the next steps are we really need

48:42

to kind of help edge it . We need to make financial

48:44

education , you

48:47

know , a core part of the system . You

48:50

know it's one thing , as I said , it's kind of you

48:52

get your magician right . It's like , okay , I'm going to transform on the

48:54

beliefs and all of a sudden I'm like this , this

48:56

manifesting sort of you

48:58

know I'm going to manifest all the abundance that I like , but actually

49:01

we still need to take action . And in order to take action

49:03

, we need to understand we all need

49:05

to be educated on basic financial principles

49:07

. We need to understand , you know , what

49:10

the compound interest and the impact

49:12

of saving , and also we need to learn

49:14

that that we also need to learn that we don't need

49:16

to wait until we graduate from high school and go get a university

49:19

degree in order to go out and earn money . Children

49:22

now are learning at a young age . You know

49:24

that they can through using their

49:26

very creative you know their absolute

49:28

, their creative capacity to

49:31

start thinking about ways that they can just create

49:33

value and earn money off the back of that

49:35

. So you know that's another thing I'm really passionate

49:37

about is , you know , living in this

49:39

society which we've got this kind of cost of living

49:41

crisis and geez , the financial system

49:43

God knows what's what's going to happen over the next few

49:45

years . Every everything is shifting and

49:48

it but particularly for young people , it's become

49:50

a very challenging . You know , the wealth

49:52

gap continues to widen , and

49:54

so the possibility of them having owning

49:56

their own homes and things like that becomes

49:59

, you know , more of a challenge for them . So we

50:01

don't want them thinking that I have to wait it's like

50:03

I follow this linear steps in order

50:06

to earn my badge , to go and get make money

50:08

. No , you're a money making machine . Like you

50:10

know , you've come into the world with these gifts and

50:12

these talents and ideas . Use those

50:14

, encourage them , and if that is

50:16

, if that results in the creation of money and wealth

50:19

, well then it's just that's verifying that what you're doing

50:21

is contributing and adding value , and

50:23

so if we can teach kids this mindset early

50:25

on and then give them the tools through education

50:28

, not just to learn how to count money it's not

50:30

about accounting , but it's actually how to the

50:32

value of money and the possibilities

50:34

that they can create . You

50:36

know the possibility , the life that they can live and

50:39

the things they can do should they , you

50:41

know , make and grow and create and sustain

50:44

their wealth . You know what a

50:46

different world , what a different kind of you know possibility

50:48

or upbringing for them . It also takes the financial pressure off

50:50

us having to carry them through , you

50:52

know , school and and homes and things .

50:54

So , yeah , so that education and literacy

50:57

pieces is really , really important

50:59

, in addition to this kind of you know , understanding

51:01

the minds that around it it's

51:03

like , yeah , it's like it's balancing , I guess , the practical

51:06

or the pragmatic kind of action oriented

51:08

education piece with the emotional piece and

51:10

the self belief and the and the confidence

51:13

I mean . It reminds me of , I think

51:16

, steve , Steve cybold or I

51:18

don't know how you say his last name , but how rich people

51:20

think he wrote a book and basically the whole premise

51:22

is if you want to make more money , just solve a bigger

51:25

problem . And for me it was . It

51:27

was just such a light bulb moment at the moment because he

51:29

was like you know , people , the rich people out there , they're

51:31

just solving big problems for people and

51:33

then people are paying them for it . And for

51:35

me that was like , oh cool , that's

51:38

so simple . And you know , I think you

51:40

know , in today's day and age , you know , we have , you

51:42

know , especially like my generation , we have so many

51:44

tools and we can work online . And I think

51:47

you know , just the last few years have showed us just

51:49

, you know , the freedom of working remotely

51:51

. And part of , you know , part

51:53

of my journey was moving to Peru and being

51:55

able to work online and and money

51:57

in a country where , you know , the cost of living

51:59

is a lot lower and the taxes are a lot lower , and

52:02

so you know there's a lot more financial

52:04

stability and opportunity

52:06

. You know for the future , and so you

52:08

know it's . It's yeah , for me it was

52:10

realizing . You know there's other options , there's other

52:12

opportunities and possibilities to

52:14

generate wealth that are not in that traditional

52:16

kind of you know , boxed

52:18

in way of thinking that society tells

52:20

us we have to do .

52:22

So it's like finding creative solutions

52:24

. You're finding creative solutions to creating wealth , right

52:27

, yeah , absolutely Right . It's moving away from that linear

52:29

pattern that we've been taught to actually , hmm

52:31

, so , yeah , no , that's great , and actually

52:34

just on that , one thing I also love is this idea

52:36

that there's kind of five ways that we make money

52:38

right , and you can . You know you can work

52:41

for somebody else and admittedly

52:43

, I'm doing that as well on the side right now but you know you can

52:45

work for somebody else and earn an income

52:47

. You can win

52:50

it , which is probably less likely

52:52

. You can steal it , which is illegal . You

52:55

can inherit it , which , again , is probably less likely

52:57

, and you don't ever want to rely on inheritance . Or you can go out

52:59

in the world and you can create it , and that's

53:01

why we talk about , you know , becoming a creator

53:03

of your own kind of financial destiny , because

53:05

people like you and all these wonderful entrepreneurs in

53:07

the world are actually realizing , you know , the

53:09

way that true wealth is created . It's

53:11

not by printing money , hello

53:14

America , like . It's not by , you know , in falsely

53:16

inflating , and it's not through the recycling

53:19

of money , which is the inheritance and

53:21

the winning , and that that's just money that exists , but it's actually

53:23

by going out and tapping into your

53:25

own kind of innate gifts and

53:27

talents and potential . You know they say

53:29

chase potential , not necessarily passion . I think you chase

53:31

both in my view . But you

53:34

know it's about creating new wealth

53:36

and new value for

53:38

others , and in whatever form that may be

53:40

. You know we talk about money as the physical thing

53:42

, but it's not . It's actually just a perceived

53:45

value of , you

53:47

know , a good or a service or or thing

53:49

, and that that comes in infinite forms

53:51

. So it's breaking that , yeah , really

53:53

just breaking those traditional , yeah

53:58

, the traditional kind of views or I'm

54:00

lost , you know the word , I can't find the

54:02

word but the

54:05

conditions , sort of beliefs and patterns around it

54:07

.

54:08

Yeah , yeah , it's , it's really cool , just like

54:10

coming back to just just creating something

54:12

of value for people

54:14

and then being paid for it . You

54:16

know it's , you know you can

54:18

, you can , just at the simplest

54:20

form . It's like it's really really quite

54:22

beautiful , just , you know how can we

54:24

contribute , how can we create value for people

54:26

and and that takes time sometimes to figure

54:29

out and and all of that , but it's

54:31

, it's really . Yeah , it's just really interesting

54:33

to come back to that premise

54:35

, yeah , but I wanted to ask about you

54:37

mentioned about feeling , I guess , unsafe

54:39

around around money and love

54:41

. How , how did you sort of , I guess

54:44

, come to that conclusion

54:46

? Because , yeah , I find safety just to be

54:48

, I guess , to sort of preface this . Yeah , just

54:50

something I've learned in my own journey and just

54:52

working with emotions is it

54:55

seems like so much of our human nature

54:57

comes back to safety . And if we don't feel

54:59

safe , you know whether that's with

55:01

money or relationships or , you

55:04

know , in certain social situations or work , like

55:06

it doesn't matter what it is you know we're going to

55:08

act out in certain ways , and so

55:10

I think safety just is such a big core

55:13

piece of who we are . So I'd really

55:15

be curious to hear a bit more about that .

55:18

Yeah , and I think that for me it's been a bit of a journey

55:20

to really understand that . It's been

55:22

partially through my own

55:25

, you know , learnings in

55:27

this , but also through the people that I've worked with

55:29

. And again , you know , there was a woman who

55:31

who kind of shared with me just the other week

55:33

actually it was a really big kind of revelation

55:35

through her and she and this was outside of our chat

55:37

, but because you've been doing the kind

55:40

of money work and all sorts of other work alongside

55:42

it , you know it was just waking up to associating

55:46

. You know , when you come in a family

55:48

where kind of money and love are like

55:50

this , you start to associate having

55:52

money with being lovable and not

55:55

having money is not being being

55:57

worthy . And so I've

56:00

. And so through that I can recognize

56:02

that . You know , I can see that

56:05

my self worth , or my identity , my

56:07

self worth , has been for a long time tied

56:09

up in in in what

56:12

I do and what I'm earning and things like that . Because , look

56:14

, going on the entrepreneurial journey which I did , stepping

56:16

out of corporate as wonderful

56:18

as an , exciting as the being that was really

56:20

difficult for my nervous system , really challenging

56:23

because I didn't have steady income coming

56:25

in . You know there's a period after

56:27

. You know it takes a long time , you have to invest a lot and trying to get

56:29

a business off the ground for a long time , all

56:31

my fears , all of my fears came up fear of being seen

56:34

. You know I've really struggled with social media

56:36

and using my voice . I've

56:39

. You know I can work for somebody

56:41

else and work my butt off and and

56:43

you know absolutely , but then actually having

56:45

to value myself enough to put the time in and put

56:47

my , you know , put my needs forward , that's that's

56:50

been thrown up for me . And and the

56:52

insecurity that I've felt around

56:54

not earning an income or not earning much of

56:56

an income for for a while and

56:58

then starting to see savings started to plead

57:00

, like what that did for me physically and

57:02

kind of mentally . You know the signs

57:05

, the fear and the worry and constantly worried

57:07

and and losing confidence . All

57:09

those things happened . So that really showed up for me and I've had to

57:11

really examine that because

57:13

I realized that that having those financial foundations

57:16

which I'm also going to say

57:18

are partially founded , you know we

57:20

all having financial security and financial foundations

57:24

is is important

57:26

, like it's support . You know money is important in the sense that

57:28

it supports us across all pillars

57:30

of our lives . You know you've got money in order you can look after yourself

57:33

and stay healthy and look after your family . Money so you

57:35

can show up in the world and do be , give

57:37

, have in the way that you want to and

57:40

how you can contribute . So it is important supports

57:43

our health , our relationships and everything we do , because

57:45

we live in a society which is based on economic

57:47

principles , at least today , but

57:50

then , on the other hand , placing too , placing too much emphasis

57:52

on that can it just becomes this

57:54

, this continual pattern of like it's

57:56

never enough and I'm never enough . So

57:59

I started to recognize that and also through , as

58:01

I said , through some of the people that I've worked with , to see where

58:03

they have really , where a lot of their value

58:05

and self worth has been tied up in in

58:09

in money , or or

58:11

one side of it . Which I thought was really interesting

58:14

is when , when , when we get to

58:16

a certain amount , we can't seem to rise above that

58:18

, because we might associate

58:20

money and I think I've also associated this a bit is

58:22

associating money with abandonment

58:24

, because you know my parents , the

58:27

cycles they went through and then when there wasn't

58:29

enough money or when there was , you

58:31

know , then dad left and these sorts

58:33

of things happen and so you start to associate it with

58:35

these emotional events that happen in your life , and

58:38

so there was some of that running through it as well

58:40

. So , yeah , that's kind of how I've become

58:42

aware , as I said , through the , through the coaching

58:44

and understanding the process , through working

58:46

with other people , that particularly I'd say

58:49

in this work , being in the entrepreneurial space

58:51

and having to see all the money fears that pop

58:53

up because I haven't had that constant undercurrent

58:55

of income to support me the whole

58:57

way through . So , yeah , still

58:59

plenty of work to do .

59:01

Yeah it's , it's good , like it definitely

59:03

brings up all this stuff to

59:05

come out . Yeah , it's

59:07

cool , it's cool , amazing

59:09

, and sorry you go .

59:11

No , I was just gonna say I think where I've got to today is because

59:13

I know that I still got work to do , and that is I've . I've

59:16

recognized that , look , I do like this , the

59:18

, the . I've

59:21

now created , I guess

59:23

, an environment where I've got that kind of steady

59:25

income coming in . But this is the work that

59:27

I want to do and I'm going to gradually build this up . So

59:29

, rather than give everything up , which is probably the full the gamut

59:32

, give everything up and walk away , it's now

59:34

. Let's keep that into place , because

59:36

that is really foundational . Also , I

59:38

can reach more people and I still

59:40

actually really do love that work . But also I can bring

59:42

this in through the back end and , you know , through conversations

59:44

with you and through , ultimately , I'll start to write more

59:46

content again and just really getting the

59:48

word out and writing and sharing the word

59:50

. It's my way to contribute , and without

59:53

focusing on the financial outcome of it , but rather

59:55

the contribution that I'm making . That

59:58

will probably come . You know , that's what the magician would

1:00:00

say is just focus , focus on your gifts and

1:00:03

what you're here . You know what you're here

1:00:05

to do and contribute in the world and and that

1:00:07

ultimately , that ultimately

1:00:09

all will be delivered in the

1:00:11

in the way it should . So so , yeah , so that's

1:00:13

kind of my new , my new attitude . But I am putting

1:00:15

in those kind of protective platforms

1:00:17

as well To keep me feeling safe

1:00:20

.

1:00:20

Yeah , and I think that's really important because if you feel

1:00:22

, if you're operating from a place of safety

1:00:25

, like safety is abundance , in a sense

1:00:27

, you know , whereas unsafe , to your insecurity

1:00:29

, is scarcity , and so to be coming from that

1:00:31

, that place of safety is really cool

1:00:33

, yeah , awesome , and

1:00:36

so so , almost sometimes , for people who want

1:00:38

to say connect with you or find out more about your

1:00:40

work with you , where can they reach you ?

1:00:42

Thank you . Yeah , so I am called Balancia

1:00:44

wealth and Balancia is Italian

1:00:47

for scales or balance . That's my philosophy

1:00:49

to kind of all things , as you know , balance and prosperity

1:00:51

, and , and you know , financial and personal prosperity

1:00:53

. So Balancia wealthcom , b

1:00:56

I L A , mc , I A dot com

1:00:58

, and also just Anna at Balancia

1:01:00

wealth , if they just want to get in touch . So , yeah

1:01:02

, yeah , definitely reach out . You can do this money type

1:01:04

quiz you can do on my website . It's called take the discover your

1:01:06

money type quiz . So

1:01:08

if you're interested in those archetypes , you can certainly log

1:01:10

on . And yeah , and , if you want

1:01:13

to subscribe to my newsletter . Haven't written much in

1:01:15

the last month but I'll be getting back on that board and

1:01:17

and yeah , really excited to continue to

1:01:19

spread the word and and and help

1:01:21

others , you know , bring more awareness to their

1:01:23

kind of financial , their potential

1:01:26

, their financial potential , but it's also their , their

1:01:28

personal potential . So , yeah

1:01:30

and yeah , and , at Balancia

1:01:32

wealth Instagram .

1:01:35

Awesome . Well , thank you , anna , so much for coming on the

1:01:37

podcast . It's been a really really cool conversation

1:01:39

, so thanks for giving up your time .

1:01:41

Thank you so much , ellie . Thanks for the invitation . It was really

1:01:43

great chatting with you . Enjoy , I'm

1:01:45

a little envious . Happy for you

1:01:47

.

1:01:54

That's a wrap . Thank you so much for listening

1:01:56

and if you haven't already , please subscribe and

1:01:59

follow the podcast to get notified anytime

1:02:01

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