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1:32

The Bachelorette is back. And

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Is in Jen's hands. I'm going to do

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it my way. ABC Monday.

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Everything about her is great. I feel

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My men are very, very hot. I'm

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so fire. This is the beginning of

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a new era. The Bachelorette

1:55

season premiere Monday, 8, 7 central

1:58

on ABC and stream on. I'm

2:01

speaking as someone I'm turning 38 this

2:03

year and I I have

2:05

learned stuff since 30 But I my

2:08

mental processes is the same right

2:10

like it's not like like

2:12

there was a big gap from like 22 to 30 Yeah,

2:15

but like after 30. It's like no 20s

2:20

I feel like like there's you know like this chick

2:22

who's she's 24 years old. She's dating Bill Belichick Like

2:25

she's he's like 70 something

2:27

whoa and obviously yeah, she's

2:29

like she didn't the greatest coach of all time

2:32

She used to learn a lot about football. Yeah,

2:34

you know yeah, I get it Hello

2:41

welcome back to should they don't tell you I'm Nikki Lima what's

2:43

up? It's the ice man and today

2:45

We are gonna be answering some of

2:47

the questions you have asked us

2:49

yes by submitting to our email podcast

2:51

at Nikki Lima podcast at and I kiki

2:54

I dot LIMO if you would like to

2:56

send a question we might feature it on

2:58

the show I don't read these questions ahead

3:00

of time, but you know sometimes I Look,

3:03

and there's like not many questions, and then I look

3:05

and there's like a ton of questions I'm like oh,

3:08

no we let it go so you know we're not

3:10

experts on anything So this

3:12

is for entertainment purposes only but you can

3:15

ask us questions And we will

3:17

give you our unsolicited opinions on

3:19

it And that is all

3:21

they are is opinions and probably joke opinions.

3:24

They're in jest and don't sue us. Thank

3:26

you, right Yeah, okay Love it if you broke up most

3:28

of the time most of the time you guys

3:30

ask us whether you should break up and we

3:32

Would just love it if you did For

3:35

lols for the lols. Thank you like

3:38

even if you're like really good together Seriously,

3:40

well we want to be the best couple yeah,

3:42

we and if you guys are gonna

3:44

outshine us Oh, no, we can't be

3:47

having that in the world. Okay. We're gonna Like

3:50

the show no better way to

3:52

support the show patreon.com/sticky STI KKI

3:55

You get this show a day early also if you

3:57

ask us a question goes to top of the list

4:00

Also, I do a show every Tuesday, 6 p.m.

4:03

Pacific Standard Time called Crypto Corner. We

4:05

go deep on crypto and navigating the

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crypto environment. We also do a livestream once

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a week, or once a month, sorry, not once a

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week, once a month, and we do a free roll

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poker tournament with cash prizes. And we have the greatest

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discord community of all human time in space. In the world. All

4:19

right, so to your questions now, the ones

4:21

you sent to podcast at Nikki Lalimo, this

4:23

one is titled Right

4:25

Person Wrong Timing. Okay. Have

4:27

you ever had something like that? I

4:30

think so. Yeah. Yeah. I

4:33

think so. I think so. All right.

4:35

Longtime listener and a permanent fan. This podcast never has a dull

4:37

moment. Oh my gosh, we love you. We love you. I've

4:40

been listening to you guys ever since my old night job as

4:42

a janitor back in 2020. Oh, we know

4:44

you. Yeah, I remember you. Well, maybe

4:47

there's multiple janitors that have- No,

4:49

there's only one. The

4:51

nighttime custodian. Thank you. Was it at a

4:53

hospital? I don't know. I kind

4:55

of like remember it being in a hospital. It was in a

4:57

dark scary hospital and then like listening just like in the middle

5:00

of the night. Is that you or are you

5:02

a different janitor? And then they're like, hey, don't do

5:04

alien shit like because it scares you out

5:06

of me. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Right?

5:08

It was something like that, right? Yeah, yeah, you're

5:10

right. Okay. All right. We

5:13

have a whole backstory on you. I hope it's

5:15

you. Anyway, if not, like maybe you're a different

5:17

janitor that loves ghost stories, but they say

5:20

they were a janitor back in 2020 and resonated

5:23

with the advice that was given to everyone

5:25

throughout the years. I've had two failed relationships

5:27

since 2020, but I am mostly

5:29

back. First of all, I'm going

5:32

to finish this, but I don't like the

5:34

idea of failed relationships. I think that each

5:36

relationship teaches you something and if it ended,

5:38

then it wasn't meant to be like you

5:40

succeeded at whatever, at learning, whatever you didn't

5:43

want in a relationship. How about this? Never

5:45

let a good failure go to waste. Sure. I mean,

5:47

yeah, like- You can see it that way,

5:50

but you didn't waste it. You're using it to

5:52

build momentum for your next one. Yeah. It's

5:54

definitely things that are failures, but like, I

5:57

feel like most relationships, if

5:59

it ended- It wasn't meant to be so

6:01

it wasn't a failure right yeah

6:04

Okay, you can have like like for example

6:06

when we got married or before we got

6:08

married you promised me Anal

6:10

sex yeah, and I lied and you lied and

6:13

so I feel like we have a failure inside

6:15

of our relationship I'm a failure I succeeded

6:17

at tricking you yeah, yeah, yeah, so

6:21

You failed it noticing that I

6:23

was lying God you

6:25

feel that I should my blood So That's

6:29

on you. He's parents listen to show you Yeah,

6:33

dad. I've never done animal sex and mine.

6:35

Hell. Yeah. Well. No that's the problem slap it

6:37

high. That's the problem. That's okay It

6:39

wasn't it Into

6:42

completion All

6:45

right anyway I forgot about

6:47

that I didn't so You

6:51

didn't fail just stuff right that's what I was to the

6:53

point I was trying to make is that you didn't fail

6:55

you just like figured out what you didn't want And it

6:57

wasn't meant to be and like you're opening yourself up for

6:59

the actual healthy ones Okay, so

7:02

I'm back up my feet mostly mentally and trying to

7:04

get back into the dating world recently I downloaded dating

7:06

apps and went on many dates, but I didn't click

7:08

with anyone and it began to bore me I let

7:10

the app just sit in the background on my phone

7:12

and tried connecting with people in person rather than a

7:14

dating app I support that yeah, we prefer

7:16

that but it even resulted in

7:18

me being intimately involved with multiple

7:21

co-workers ooh spicy Fuck

7:23

reets I love it the but the

7:26

shocker is I was their manager.

7:28

Oh, no the dynamic Dynamic

7:31

that's problem. Yeah, I know it's a recipe for

7:33

disaster But I never got this much attention, and

7:35

it was my downfall because as a result of

7:37

my stupid actions. I was terminated shit Sorry,

7:41

but now you're on their level Hey,

7:43

yeah, I let it get to my head, and

7:45

it made me think I was invincible I

7:48

ended up working fast food for a few months, but I could no

7:50

longer keep up with the bills keep in mind I'm only 24 and

7:53

lived with my mother and sisters my mother was sick and

7:55

had surgery it can no longer support the family So it

7:58

was up to me to step up into the field Every

8:00

paycheck went to rent and my car payment

8:02

while my sister my sisters took on the

8:04

utility However, we didn't have much

8:06

for food the bills stacked up high enough to

8:09

the point where the landlord sent us a notice

8:11

for eviction We

8:13

had till the end of the month to

8:15

pay or leave as an attempt to destroy

8:17

Distress I wandered back to the dating app

8:19

and I came across someone who I instantly

8:21

clicked with Talking to this person made me

8:23

forget the world burning behind me some time

8:26

passes and we get together in person for

8:28

a date First date we wore PJs to

8:30

a movie theater. Oh, I love that and talked for

8:32

hours in the park in my car One

8:35

date turned into three and then five and I

8:37

developed strong feelings for her But I didn't tell

8:39

her about my current situation I would use

8:41

my last $20 to buy her flowers for

8:43

her because seeing her expression when receiving flowers was

8:45

far brighter than the stars The

8:47

night before the eviction date I had told her

8:49

everything due to this eviction My sister who was

8:52

stationed in the army base called for Erwin took

8:54

me in and I expressed my last resort decision

8:56

to enlist The only thing I have less

8:58

left with me or the only thing I have with me

9:00

is the clothes on my back in my car I

9:03

was forced to leave everything behind I could tell

9:05

this information hurt her I'd be five hours

9:07

away until I leave her basic training, which is going

9:09

to be nine months of zero contact. Oh Yeah,

9:12

before I left I told her this I

9:14

really really like you you're worth the five-hour

9:17

drive I loved every moment we shared together

9:19

and I wanted to know what you wanted

9:21

to do I want to know your

9:23

intentions here because if you think this isn't for you Please

9:25

tell me and rip off the bandage. I will understand if

9:27

you think my current life is too much for you I

9:29

will drive home right now if you don't want this She

9:31

was baffled at the fact I shared my feelings for her

9:34

to her face She accepts my current state

9:36

and shares the same emotions for me. Oh my gosh,

9:38

but I just wish we lived closer I was in

9:40

the edge of my seat there. I was like, I know me too We

9:43

talk every day and night over a text or FaceTime

9:45

and it has been a month since I've been at

9:47

for Erwin Oh, I thought it was

9:49

zero contact. Okay, I'm gonna drive out to her

9:51

for her birthday soon. Am I shipped? Oh, he

9:53

hasn't shipped out yet. My ship out date for

9:55

basic training is September 3rd more September

9:59

3 more months My older sister

10:01

keeps telling me to not wait around for her because

10:03

I will meet other girls in the field. There are

10:05

gonna be other women who have their life together but

10:07

I don't want these other women. I want this one

10:09

and I will do everything in my power to make

10:11

long distance work. It will test my trust and patience

10:13

but had I not been evicted, this

10:15

would be a different love story. What's the shit

10:17

they don't tell you about long distance relationships? Is

10:20

my sister right about me meeting other women? Okay,

10:22

so normally we talk a lot of shit on long

10:24

distance relationships but we like you and this is kind

10:27

of a cool story. I love this story. I kinda

10:29

like this story. So normally I would say you're so

10:31

screwed and you're so very, very fucked. But

10:33

in this case, I like the story. I actually do.

10:36

I was gonna say the same thing that we normally

10:38

talk mad shit about long

10:40

distance relationships. Because, okay, so

10:43

here's how it typically goes down. 80-20

10:45

to disaster. You meet someone like on

10:47

a random, you're in the

10:49

same city in Cancun or whatever, you're on

10:51

vacation and then you don't live in the

10:53

same place and then you think that it's

10:56

gonna be strong enough, the bond you shared

10:58

on that night, but then it's like you're

11:00

very distracted with other people and jobs and

11:02

all this stuff. So it doesn't really work

11:05

and no one's needs feel met. However, this

11:07

one is different because you guys actually formed

11:09

a bit of a relationship before the long

11:11

distance. That's exactly it. You know what I'm

11:14

saying? So it's like if Steve left for

11:16

two months, I'd be very sad. I would

11:18

actually miss him, which is hard for me

11:20

because I don't miss people at all. So.

11:24

But I'm just kidding. I say that as

11:26

a good say. It's our answer. It's

11:29

our joke because he misses me right away and I take a couple days.

11:31

I miss her right away as soon as I leave. I'm

11:33

in the car, I go to the airport and I already miss

11:36

her at the airport. It takes

11:38

her like a day and a half, I think, to miss

11:40

me. Yeah, maybe like three, five days, maybe seven days, nine

11:44

days. Two business days. But

11:47

when I left to Iowa and I knew I was

11:49

leaving for two weeks, I missed you right away, like

11:52

right as I was entering the airport because I just

11:54

did not want to go. Yeah, but if

11:56

I'm going to JK, you know I'll be right back. Yeah, yeah,

11:58

exactly. So anyway, we got sidetracked. this

12:01

story, because we've had

12:03

a relationship, and even like in

12:05

the very beginning, we've knew each other,

12:08

we've had a really strong bond, and both

12:10

of us shared the same emotions. I think

12:12

if Steve would have had to leave for

12:14

a, it's a finite amount

12:16

of time, it's not like I'm leaving indefinitely. You

12:18

know, then it's like, okay, well, you gotta move

12:21

on then. But you're leaving for a set amount

12:23

of time, it's nine months, that's a long time,

12:25

because it's like almost a year, but I

12:28

feel like it'll work out, honestly. Look,

12:31

there's a lot that goes into the military, right?

12:33

Because you go in there, right? Yeah. And then

12:35

you go basic, and then you graduate, and then

12:37

you get shipped somewhere. Yeah. to

12:40

your home state, brother. Like so, it's just a

12:42

lot of things. Listen, I

12:44

think stay in it as long as your feelings

12:46

remain the same, and when you come back, you'll

12:49

know if hers did too. Yeah. And

12:51

if it doesn't, then you'll have your answer, and

12:53

you're only 24. Exactly.

12:58

That's the part that is up there. Listen, when

13:00

I was your age, and I heard somebody

13:02

say you're only blah blah age, I immediately

13:04

dismissed what they were fucking saying, because I'm

13:06

like, I'm a human being adult, or whatever.

13:08

But she's talking about how you

13:11

feel these intense, intense, intense feelings

13:14

that you feel you'll never replicate with

13:16

anybody else, exactly. Sometimes. And that's just

13:19

not likely to be the case. Yes. That's

13:21

all. And also, I feel like

13:24

when you're older, inching

13:26

towards 30, you've had enough experiences where you know

13:28

what you want and know what you don't want,

13:31

and when you see it, you know immediately, right? So

13:34

like with Steven, on our first date, it was like,

13:36

I'm gonna marry that. I immediately texted my friend, I

13:38

was like, I'm gonna marry this guy. Yeah. And

13:41

I was like, I think I love this bitch, that's why I told my friend.

13:43

So you knew, that's correct. I said that too. And

13:45

I said. I said, I think I'm in love with this real, this

13:47

is a huge slut. I said, we'll see

13:49

how big his dick is, but I

13:51

think he's pretty cool, and he

13:54

is very sweet. No, but

13:56

I knew like all of the qualities that I wanted.

13:58

I had already, by that point, like. not

14:01

made a physical list, but determined what

14:05

I'm not willing to settle for, which he didn't display

14:07

any of those red flags, and also

14:09

what I would like in a relationship, which

14:11

he had all of the green flags, pun

14:14

intended. But

14:16

yeah, so I'm just saying by that

14:19

age, you kind of know immediately, whereas

14:21

in 24, what I thought was love

14:23

was kind of toxic. So. Yeah,

14:26

but there's hope for you. Yeah, I'm not saying it is. If

14:28

this is not like, hey, guess what, dude, it's over, brother. This

14:30

is more like, hey, statistically, we usually, I say

14:33

80, 20. It's

14:35

not gonna make it on a long distance relationship, but hey,

14:37

you could be the 20. Yeah, you

14:39

could. Hashtag be the 20. Especially since she feels the same way

14:41

about you. Exactly. Like, I don't know. I

14:44

think that you were pretty

14:46

honest with her, and you gave her an out,

14:49

and she didn't take it, and if

14:52

she really feels the same way about you, that nine months will

14:54

fly. PJ's at the movies is a pretty

14:56

good movie. It's pretty cute. It's a pretty good movie. And

14:59

things like that, I feel like, if you guys are on the

15:01

same page about those type of things. You have a

15:03

cute story. You don't forget things like

15:05

that. You don't forget things like that. You're like,

15:07

I'm gonna hold out for the cute guy with

15:09

the PJs at the movie theater. That was a

15:12

really fun time, and that was like my vibe.

15:14

And the time will blow by. Yeah, it'll fly.

15:16

Also, she can write you letters when you're in there. Yeah,

15:19

like wartime times. Like war

15:21

times, exactly. It's like, I'm

15:23

gonna kiss you those lips

15:25

I'm missing. Oh, Jesus. That's

15:29

the song. Yeah, everyone got it. I got it. You

15:31

got it, and that's you. I nailed it. You

15:33

got it. Something I'm missing

15:36

those lips I'm... You're doing the

15:38

Beatles song, yeah. That's about war. That's

15:40

about writing letters during war. Yeah, it's like, so

15:42

they're separating the guys at war, and

15:44

he's writing like, Close

15:47

your eyes and I'll miss you.

15:49

And I'll kiss you. Tomorrow

15:51

I'll miss you. Tomorrow I'll kiss you.

15:55

Yeah. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you tomorrow.

15:57

Close your eyes and I'll kiss

15:59

you. Those lips I miss

16:02

it. This is good analysis. Anyway. She's he's

16:04

missing the fucking lips green is I'm

16:06

saying he's gone But he's missing your

16:08

fucking lips. God damn it. I get

16:10

it. I get it now So they're

16:12

like old war times just like old war times

16:14

now we got it that old that that uh That

16:18

mr. Postman sent me a letter. It was

16:20

like about her waiting for letters from her

16:23

nice war time There's a little 50 songs

16:25

about 50 60s songs about it. Okay,

16:27

my brothers were in to I

16:30

wanted to address the moms thing. Oh, okay Well,

16:34

you go for your well Just that you know you

16:36

can send letters and you can talk to them and you can

16:38

go see them when they graduate and show Like that. Okay,

16:40

so it's not like it's not your yeah. Yeah.

16:42

Yeah. Well, it is for like a couple months while

16:45

they're in basic Nine months. Yeah, that's pretty long. You

16:47

must be going to do Okay,

16:50

so addressing your moms or

16:52

was it your mom or your sister? Was it the

16:54

sister? Sister sister was

16:57

not approving sister sister. Oh that

16:59

okay Older sister doesn't think it's gonna happen.

17:01

That's not as important. It's

17:03

not important But so the sister thing

17:05

though, I wanted to say the reason why I

17:07

thought mom was because it reminded me of my

17:10

mom Yeah, so my mom when I was single

17:12

for the brief period of time that I was

17:14

single it was like

17:16

less than a year, but she

17:19

was ecstatic about setting me up with

17:22

guys and the guys

17:24

that she Picked like sounded

17:26

good on paper It was very like oh

17:28

like you're not even gonna think of your

17:30

ex and you're not even like you don't

17:32

even go worry about Finding a new guy

17:34

cuz I got you like I got these

17:36

guys and like this guy has a good

17:38

job and this guy graduated from this school

17:40

and this guy like is clean cut and

17:42

this guy does this and this you guys

17:44

have similar interests and like They

17:47

were very nice gentlemen callers no

17:49

sparks, but yeah, no sparks and

17:52

it's everything and I Very

17:54

much encourage you to listen to

17:57

that inner guidance whether it's

17:59

about relationships or career

18:01

or like whatever, like that is

18:03

strong. Like when you close your

18:06

eyes and think about the lips

18:08

you're missing and

18:10

then you think about like, what,

18:14

like if you imagine, okay, I

18:17

move on to a different girl or whatever,

18:19

like if it doesn't fill you with sparks,

18:21

it's just not it. And like, like whenever

18:23

I'm trying to make a decision about should

18:25

I go this way that seems safer or

18:27

this way that seems like it's

18:30

pulling me that way, like it's the

18:32

unknown and it's scary, but it's like

18:34

pulling me there. I close my eyes

18:36

and it like nine

18:39

times out of 10 is like fireworks

18:41

go the unknown way. But everyone wants

18:43

to go the sure thing way. I know, I do.

18:45

Like logically as a logical person who's

18:47

like, okay, this makes X

18:49

amount of money and I have to do X

18:52

amount of work and blah, blah, blah, like I

18:54

should do this, but. The happiest people that

18:56

we know took risks. Yeah. It's a fact. And

18:59

like followed that, that Genesee

19:01

qua that's pulling you in that

19:03

direction. But anyway, please keep us updated

19:05

on how that goes because he, okay,

19:07

so you leave in September. So

19:10

yeah, so September. Like you still get to listen to

19:12

us? Like what's going on? Yeah. Like how's it

19:14

work? I don't know. I'm sure like.

19:17

Well no, cause when Nate and Kenny were in, but

19:19

it's different cause I'm talking about the chair force. Like

19:21

when Nate and Kenny were in, they couldn't, they

19:23

didn't have no internet or nothing like that. Oh

19:26

really? In basic training anyway. Huh. where

19:29

they teach you all this shit. Huh? Well,

19:31

I don't know, but keep us posted, I guess in

19:33

2025. Yeah. That

19:36

seems like forever away, but it's like in a fly by.

19:38

It really will. We'll be like, oh my God, remember that

19:40

janitor that's scared of ghosts? So like you went to the

19:42

army. Well dude, it's almost July. It'll be July next week.

19:44

It's crazy. Don't tell me shit like that. I

19:46

know, it's crazy. Okay, moving on.

19:49

I hope that you, I hope that you

19:51

guys make it. I honestly

19:53

do too. Your story is so cute. I

19:55

hope it works out. It is super cute.

19:57

And I love the journey and thanks for like

19:59

sharing. of the journey. Like I

20:01

like that back story. Like you're

20:04

very honest about you

20:06

fucking up with these like managers. Yeah, you're

20:09

really emotionally well developed. Yeah, I really really. You're

20:11

good at communicating your feelings. I like you. Yeah,

20:13

for real. Okay, next question. Oh,

20:16

this one's titled with an M by the asshole.

20:18

Okay, let's go. Hi, M by the asshole

20:21

to refuse his mom's request for help.

20:23

Okay. Okay. Hi, Nikki

20:26

and Steve. I don't care if you say my name, but you can use a pseudonym

20:28

for fun. I'm 28 female. Okay,

20:31

pseudonym for fun. Suiting for fun. Do

20:34

you say her name? Like it's making the old

20:36

off of it. Summer summer. We call her winter.

20:40

Wait, that's the opposite thing. Winter.

20:43

That's crazy. That's a fun suited

20:45

him. Okay. Winter.

20:48

Cool. You clever. That's

20:50

summer. You devil. It's the opposite.

20:53

Okay. First and foremost, I

20:55

love you. Thank you so

20:57

much. I hope you still love me after that. Wreckage

21:00

of your name. Yeah, we took you down.

21:02

I messaged you on my birthday thinking it was a long shot.

21:05

You would even see it, but you did. And you responded. So thank

21:07

you. That made me whole year. Oh my God.

21:10

I love that. That's awesome. Go me was like finding

21:12

things like so many messages I don't get to see,

21:14

but like, I'm so happy for the ones I do.

21:16

Like I try to respond. I try to respond when

21:18

I see it. There's a no, there's a like glitch

21:21

on Instagram right now where it won't show me any

21:23

recent messages from people that I don't follow.

21:26

I got to tell you about one. I was going through because

21:28

I get so many messages on my discord and shit

21:30

like that. And

21:32

I was going through just like clicking because like a couple months

21:35

ago, like people were sending me messages like, Hey, Steve, you check

21:37

this out. It's like people saying nice things. Thanks for helping me

21:39

out with crypto. All the stuff. Well, there's this

21:41

one guy who's like, Hey man, you, I fucking hate you

21:44

bad. He's like, he's

21:47

like, I, I sent you so many messages. He's like,

21:49

he's like, I was down to like my last $50. that

22:00

month and he's like and then it went

22:02

for the whole year he's like you stole you took

22:04

my $50 you asshole he's like he's like he's

22:07

like he's like he's like

22:10

I hope he's like you could

22:13

have just given my $50 back he's like

22:15

thinking that I am aware of what's going

22:17

on but like I don't know what's going

22:19

on yeah but like

22:22

he's thinking that I'm over here like

22:24

I got his message I'm like oh

22:26

I'm keeping your $50 in my pocket

22:28

and he's like thank God I made

22:30

it work other ways I defied the

22:33

script I described I'm like Jesus I

22:35

will say that when I was much

22:37

younger like I like I'm

22:40

very like negative 89 cents in the

22:42

account um I did kind of

22:44

yell into the void feeling like like

22:47

you fuck you you took my last

22:49

penny you know and I really question

22:52

yeah I relate this anger was directed

22:54

at me this time and it was just

22:56

very I couldn't help but laugh because I

22:58

look do I have no idea I'm like

23:00

Darth Vader and I don't even know what

23:02

the fuck is going on right right it's

23:04

amazing that's I

23:06

feel both I know I thought I tried

23:09

to reach out to him yeah hey dude I didn't

23:11

see this is like nine months ago or something yeah

23:13

I was like hey dude I get so many spam

23:15

messages a day and shit like that bots trying to

23:17

fucking hack me and shit and

23:19

it just went into like the cannot

23:22

send thing person's no

23:24

longer on this course no he's no longer on

23:26

discord oh okay I was like yeah I'm sad

23:28

well shout out to you yeah whoever you are

23:30

he's like listening to our pot he listens

23:32

to our podcast only he's like yeah this

23:35

guy or that guy on

23:37

the Billy Madison

23:39

where he puts lipstick on he

23:41

has a hit list brother

23:46

if I saw this shit I would have immediately took care of

23:48

it or even I would send

23:50

him $50 like good free

23:52

roll poker tournaments on our patreon by the

23:54

way patreon.com sticky where we do cash prizes

23:57

free roll poker tournament so we like we

23:59

try to get back to the community. Yeah,

24:01

the amount of crypto I've given to

24:03

the crypto corner community is hilarious because

24:05

people are like, uh, my gas isn't

24:07

working. I'm just like, here dude, just don't worry about

24:09

it. Yeah. The win.

24:11

Yeah. It's just so

24:13

funny. No, really. It

24:16

also supports the podcast, but we're really thankful for you

24:18

guys. Seriously. So like it's never, that's

24:20

crazy. It's just so funny. That's really funny. Anyway, back

24:22

to the Emma the asshole, because we got really distracted

24:24

and I'm so sorry, winter. Okay.

24:27

So first of all, she loves me because yeah, happy birthday. Yeah. Happy

24:30

birthday for a million years. Okay. Backstory. I've

24:32

been watching Nikki's YouTube video since 2013.

24:35

Holy moly. Since then I have

24:37

graduated high school, started college, got

24:39

married, moved across the country. Oh my God. It's

24:41

hard to imagine that 2013 was 11 years ago.

24:45

Anyway, went to nursing school, quit nursing school,

24:47

moved back home, got divorced, had my single

24:49

days, met my boyfriend, and now I've been

24:51

living with him for five years. Oh my

24:53

God. It's a whole life. I

24:55

love this. That's when we got together, 2013. It

24:59

is good memory. Thank

25:01

you. I remember that. Here's my Emma the

25:03

asshole. His mom, I'm

25:05

guessing the boyfriend's mom, his mom and my mom

25:07

are the same age. My mom is a personal

25:09

trainer and has focused on health her whole life.

25:11

My boyfriend's mom is on paper, a doctor. She

25:14

received the shade shots fired.

25:17

She received her doctorate from

25:19

home online during COVID. My

25:21

mom is 130 pounds

25:24

and his mom is easily over 350. She

25:27

recently went to the ER and she had an

25:29

infection on her feet slash legs. She was diagnosed

25:31

with sepsis and has to stay a couple more

25:34

days. Oh no, that's really serious.

25:36

She has a pill addiction, opioids, oh no,

25:38

and has been taken off her prescription from

25:40

her doctor. She has had gastric

25:42

bypass surgery in the past and gained all the

25:44

weight back. She claims she is a doctor since

25:46

she worked as a nurse for 10 years, 1990

25:48

to 2000. And

25:51

after studying at home for many years, she

25:53

got her doctorate. My mom has our high

25:56

school degree and single-handedly saved a family of

25:58

five from complete poverty. a

26:00

multi-million dollar home thanks to my dad, and then

26:02

he started his own clothing company, and

26:05

four years later in 2008 we lost it all. My

26:08

mom then had to get her personal trainer license and

26:10

work from the garage of our house that we would

26:12

soon give back to the bank. We then moved into

26:14

a rental from the money my mom's made as a

26:17

trainer and my dad studied to become a realtor, and

26:19

in order to help my dad make more money, my

26:21

mom got her realtor license. My boyfriend wants to compare

26:23

our moms. He said he would help

26:25

my mom out if she was stuck in bed and couldn't

26:27

work in order to get back on her feet. I

26:30

helped a lot with his mom not being

26:33

able to get up. I took the kids

26:35

that she is responsible for, her daughter's kids,

26:37

to school, twins five and brother 12. So

26:41

the twins are five and the brother is 12. All

26:43

week, and I made sure they were

26:45

fed with my money and in bed on time.

26:47

His mom asked me to put her sheets in

26:49

the laundry, I did. Then she asked if I

26:52

could move them around so they're not all tangled

26:54

and grab her a cup of ice. I did

26:56

not respond. Here's the argument. He's

26:58

claiming that he would drop everything to

27:00

help my mom if she was stuck in bed and

27:02

couldn't get up. My argument is that they are two

27:04

different people and you can't compare someone who's been refusing

27:07

to get up, his mom, and someone who has gotten

27:09

up no matter what for 30 years, my mom. Am

27:11

I the ass holder refused his mom's request for help?

27:14

Hmm. Boy. That's

27:16

a lot. This has gotten real PVP between you two. This

27:19

is very tit for tat. Right.

27:22

This is like mom warfare. Mom war. I

27:24

think you gotta deescalate this situation. Yeah.

27:27

Obviously emotions are getting attached to it

27:29

where it's not even about the moms

27:31

at a certain point. Exactly. It's

27:33

gonna be. That's what I'm worried about. my

27:35

mom's my identity, part of my identity too. Yes, and

27:38

you're not respecting that. And you're attacking my. And

27:40

so that needs to be fixed here. Yeah. That's

27:42

the problem I think. That is the problem. I agree with

27:44

you. Because look, you could be, look, you

27:47

could be Vanessa Bryant. I

27:50

don't know if you know the story. No. Kobe.

27:52

You know who Kobe Bryant is? Mm,

27:54

Marisa Bell. So he married a woman

27:56

named Vanessa. His parents didn't approve. Oh.

28:00

17 though when they got together. So

28:02

there's kind of like some people who are

28:04

like. Yeah, we're gonna prove either. It's pretty

28:07

crazy. But so they get married, then Kobe

28:09

dies later on, right? Yeah. And

28:11

his parents are

28:14

in money trouble. They had to sell one

28:16

of his championship rings. Whoa. And

28:18

Vanessa won't give him a dime. And she's got like a billion

28:20

dollars. Yeah. Like she could easily just

28:22

handle everything for them for life. But

28:25

doesn't give them anything, because it's just petty like, and

28:27

I respect the pettiness, I'm a very petty person. I

28:30

respect it. But to me, you can't do it

28:32

to parents. You can't, if it's

28:34

your person's parents, they have diplomatic community

28:36

from all my pettiness. Okay,

28:38

true. We don't know how bad the parents drew to

28:41

her. We don't, but sometimes

28:43

you have to just do

28:45

that bullshit. Just separate yourself

28:47

from this. Yeah. Like.

28:50

And look, I really do believe this. People

28:53

should respect you. You should demand the respect. They

28:56

don't have to like you. Right. So

28:58

like if I ever had a problem with your parents,

29:00

which thank God, that would never happen. They're the best.

29:03

But I would want to figure out what's going on.

29:05

Yeah. And hey, even like man to

29:08

man, if you don't like me, like Ben, you

29:10

need to just respect the fact that I'm with your

29:13

daughter. That's true. I do agree with that.

29:15

Yeah. I think that once you, well, they're boyfriend

29:17

and girlfriend, so they're not married. That's

29:19

a different thing. So once you marry

29:21

this person, so if you're serious and you're like,

29:24

you know, become a unit, I feel, and this

29:26

is just personal opinion, that

29:28

you become family, like with your

29:30

in-laws, like everyone's family. And so

29:32

now you take care of

29:34

them as if they're your own. And

29:37

dating is a trial period. You should be treating it

29:39

like that. Right, right. Like to me. Yeah. And

29:42

so I guess this is

29:45

less about the, should

29:49

I answer your mom's request

29:51

and more about like how, would

29:53

you do it for your boyfriend? Exactly.

29:56

Like would you do it for your partner? Exactly. Yeah.

29:59

And if the answer. I think that you know the

30:01

answer is yes, so you should. I think you should

30:03

help. And I mean, but not to

30:05

be taken advantage of. No, don't be taken

30:07

advantage of. So like set boundaries. Yep, set,

30:09

yep, exactly. I will do this amount

30:12

of things. I will take the kids here when

30:14

you need them. I will, you know, whatever, cook

30:16

dinner once a week or whatever. I don't work

30:18

for you. Yeah, I don't work, make it very

30:20

clear, like I have my own busy life and

30:22

I will try to make time to help. Yes,

30:25

as long as they're appreciative, right? Yeah.

30:28

And then like not taking, yeah, you

30:30

for granted and taking advantage. Right, right,

30:32

exactly. And so obviously clear boundaries need

30:34

to be set. You cannot be like

30:36

a doormat for your boyfriend's

30:38

mom. And also, but I think

30:40

this should be very clear to

30:42

your boyfriend, like make it very clear

30:45

that you respect yourself and

30:48

you are doing this out of your love

30:50

for him. And that

30:53

on principle that he

30:56

values this. And so you're

30:58

gonna do that. This will become a war if you don't

31:00

deescalate this. Right, absolutely. But I

31:03

do agree with you that he

31:06

is comparing apples to oranges. Which is lame.

31:08

It's super lame. This conversation should not happen. No. My

31:11

mom is better than your mom. My dad could kick

31:13

your dad's ass. Well, it's a scenario that

31:15

wouldn't happen. Like, well maybe, I don't know

31:18

if there was some crazy, I don't know,

31:20

but like, it's just not a, he's

31:22

like saying

31:24

some fantasy thing. You're

31:26

right, like making an analogy

31:29

with something that doesn't exist. It's unnecessary.

31:31

My mom's better than your mom, what are we doing? Right,

31:33

well it's not better than. It's just, he's

31:35

saying that if your mom couldn't get up,

31:37

I would help her or whatever. But

31:40

that's not the case. And it's also unclear whether the

31:42

mom can't get up or she's choosing not to. Because

31:45

it sounded like she had sepsis at first so that she

31:47

couldn't get up, but then now it sounds like she's choosing

31:49

not to get up. So,

31:51

I don't know. But it's easy to say you'd help. I'll

31:54

help your mom when your mom is like

31:56

a physical trainer. It's like, you're not to

31:58

worry about. about it.

32:00

Exactly. But I get it. But also you

32:03

don't need to win that battle and say that even.

32:05

Yeah. You just need to go like, okay,

32:07

yeah, I take you at your word and I

32:09

will help you with your mom too, right? So

32:11

hopefully when like resolving this between

32:14

the two of you, it's like a compromise

32:16

of like, hey, I will

32:18

help your mom and set back with

32:21

these clear ground rules, like boundaries, and I want to make

32:23

it clear that I'm doing it for you. Yeah. And

32:26

then number two, don't make this

32:28

analogy. Like he needs to kind of concede

32:31

a little bit on this. Like, yeah. Well,

32:33

no, but she's, the reason why

32:36

she's saying, Hey, yeah, your

32:38

mom's like this and my mom's like this

32:40

is because they're already in this tit for

32:42

tat warfare thing. Right. Right. So that's why

32:44

you need to just say, okay, I take

32:47

your at your word. You would do this

32:49

for my mom. Yeah. I'm going to show up for you. Right.

32:51

That's what I think it is. Okay. So you don't

32:53

think he needs to concede at all? Cause I kind

32:55

of felt like he was throwing that at her. Like,

32:57

well, I would do it for your mom, but it's

32:59

like, well, this is a fake scenario. Yeah.

33:01

It's weird, but it's not good communication. Yeah. But

33:04

I think ultimately I get what he's saying, but

33:06

I agree with you that it is

33:08

like a, the de-escalation process should be

33:10

like, okay, I'll take your word. You

33:12

would help my parents in any circumstance, even

33:14

if they were being rude to you. And if you're

33:17

in, by the way, if you're with a guy and

33:19

you don't think he would do that, then you're already

33:21

in trouble. So, you know, you have to take him

33:23

as word for that. Like that's, but

33:25

she needs to, uh, so like with the boundary

33:28

is being set, the mom needs to request things

33:30

nicer. Yeah.

33:33

I completely agree. Yeah. I mean, just, you

33:35

have to be respectful. Yeah. I don't work for

33:37

you. Not make a laundry. And also maybe like

33:39

that relationship is under some kind of strain

33:41

that we're not aware of. Yeah. Yeah.

33:44

But are you the asshole? I don't think

33:46

you're the asshole. I think that this is

33:48

just escalated to where emotions got heated.

33:50

That's it. Nobody's making rational decisions. Everyone's

33:52

it's, it's just war and it doesn't

33:54

need to be this way. Yeah. And with

33:56

that being said, we're going to go on a break, but when we come

33:59

back, we have maybe one. or two more questions that

34:01

you sent to podcast at Nikki Dali mouth.

34:03

Keep them coming. We'll

34:05

see you in a sec. Today's

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Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie

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Download the free Angie mobile app today,

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or visit angie.com, that's a-n-g-i.com. Hey,

35:43

we're on a break right now and I

35:45

guess we're supposed to promo our show. Yes.

35:47

So we're going to talk about our show that you took

35:49

a break from to like talk about how you should listen to our

35:52

show. Technically we're not on break. We're still working. It's

35:54

called shit they don't tell you. And it's all this shit

35:56

that we wish people would have told us that we had

35:58

to mess up on and figure out ourselves. Now we're

36:00

telling you about it. That's it. And sometimes

36:02

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36:04

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So keep listening and check us out

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on patreon patreon.com/sticky. Thank you. Shout

36:11

out to Brian Jorgensen huge Shout out to Brian

36:14

Jorgensen real quick All

36:16

right And we're back and we have some more

36:18

questions that were sent to the email podcast at Nikki

36:20

dot limo if you would like your Question to be

36:23

answered on the show about anything going on in your

36:25

life That you might just

36:27

want a third opinion on a third-party

36:29

opinion on someone neutral doesn't know you

36:31

isn't attached to anybody in your life

36:33

And you just want a non Professional

36:37

opinion on the topic. So

36:39

more you send them this way. We might read

36:41

them on the show Maybe it will help someone

36:43

else out that's going through a similar thing. Okay,

36:46

this one is titled age gap Oh

36:49

like a Vanessa Kobe age gap. Nice.

36:51

Nice. Hi, Nikki and Steve I'm

36:54

blank, but I'd like to remain

36:56

anonymous, please. Okay, okay We'll

36:59

call you sooner. No, okay, pseudonym Nikki

37:02

I followed you since you started with totally sketch. Oh

37:04

my god 2009 Tasty

37:07

Tuesday. We've really been through it all it feels

37:09

like oh, I agree. That's like so many different

37:11

lives lives I

37:14

almost a lifetime, but then I just Anyway,

37:18

I was just diagnosed with autism on top of having

37:20

ADHD forever, and I'm still navigating that I've loved watching

37:22

your journey, and I feel like I could ask you

37:24

so many questions But I'll keep it simple and ask

37:26

you one about my relationship of four years We

37:29

have a 12 year age gap and that's always been

37:31

the main argument we have which is so frustrating He

37:34

says he has more life experience,

37:36

and I'm too young to understand where he's coming

37:38

from and I'm 30. Oh shit Okay,

37:41

he makes a lot of money, but still

37:44

wants to find wants me to find a

37:46

better job, which is understandable But as far

37:48

as making me feel secure romance or any

37:50

dates He doesn't put any efforts in besides

37:52

paying bills anyways. He's also amazing in other

37:54

ways He has been a rock for me,

37:57

and we have fun together. I truly love him, but I

37:59

can hear the a breakup button in my head, and

38:01

I'm just hoping for any sort of advice, and if

38:03

I'm the asshole, please let me down lightly. I'm very

38:05

sensitive, I love you, Nikki and Steve. We

38:07

love you too, first of all. We love you too, and why are you an

38:09

asshole? You're not an asshole. No.

38:12

And I think your intuition about a

38:14

breakup button being pushed is kinda like.

38:17

Kinda what you're thinking. Your gut is kinda telling

38:19

you the direction. But I will say, just to

38:21

defend him real quick, some people, right,

38:24

show love in certain

38:26

ways, and for some

38:28

people, the money thing, right?

38:30

Hey, I'm giving you, this is how

38:32

I show love to you. Security,

38:35

peace of mind. But not really, because he wants her to find

38:37

a better job. Yeah, it is a dumb thing.

38:39

I don't like when people do that shit. Also,

38:41

I don't like when. I don't like

38:43

the management shit. If I'm 30 years old,

38:45

okay, I've lived enough life. Like,

38:48

you don't get to be like, well

38:50

no, I was your age, or

38:52

it makes you sound like a parent.

38:55

You're not in a mutually respectful relationship. Exactly.

38:57

Things have to be equal,

39:00

I mean, not the same, but

39:03

equally respected, right? Mutually respected. And

39:05

when he does that, he's talking

39:07

down to you. Yeah, he's not

39:10

your dad. And it's, honestly,

39:12

that's a really big turnoff to me. I

39:15

dated someone older than me, but I was

39:17

way young. I was 18 and they

39:19

were 24. So

39:21

it made a little bit more sense. It

39:23

still turned me off, like crazy. I was

39:25

just sick of hearing it like, oh,

39:28

you'll find out when you're older, or like, oh, you'll

39:30

da-da-da-da-da, and it's like, bro. I

39:32

never did that shit. I was in a relationship with

39:34

a 19 year old when I was 37. Shut

39:38

up. No, I was five years older. Yeah. And I

39:40

never talked about it. I don't know, that's not how

39:42

I was raised. It really pissed

39:44

me off, like, because it

39:46

was invalidating. That's what

39:48

I think it really was, was that I would say

39:50

something, and then he'd be like, oh, I used to

39:52

think that when I was your age, but then you

39:54

did it. I hate that shit. It's

39:57

condescending. Exactly, it's being like, oh, yeah.

39:59

you silly little girl, you're just

40:02

a dumb little bitch. And like,

40:04

I just like, can I

40:07

just like talk to you about what

40:09

I'm going through without you belittling me?

40:12

Which is what it kind of sounds like. I'm not, I'm

40:14

like, not trying to put words in it. Obviously

40:16

that's what she's kind of feeling and she's kind of expressing that

40:18

to us. I

40:20

don't know if I hit the break up button just immediately like that

40:22

though. Yeah, I mean, I'm only going off of

40:24

her even having those thoughts

40:26

is like, if I'm already having those thoughts.

40:29

But that can be fixed. Cause she says

40:31

she loves him and he like does cool

40:33

shit. She says that they have

40:35

fun together. He's

40:38

been a rock, okay, so there's a lot

40:40

of details that go into what makes him

40:42

feel like a rocker, okay? Cause like, you're

40:44

my rock, you're my home. I

40:47

feel very safe when I'm

40:49

with you and I feel very loved.

40:52

But if I didn't feel

40:54

loved or respected and

40:56

you were just a rock because of

40:59

financial reasons, that's very different. It's

41:01

a very different situation. So

41:03

like, I don't know exactly how he's been

41:05

a rock cause it sounds

41:07

like he's very invalidating which wouldn't make

41:09

me feel very loved. Yeah,

41:11

we would need specifics there. Yeah, we would need a little

41:13

bit more specifics. A 12 year age

41:16

gap, so he's 42 and she's 30. It's

41:19

not that much long and it's not that

41:21

much older. Like once you're past a certain

41:23

age, like once you're in your 30s, I

41:26

just don't see how much more

41:28

you learn. I mean, I'm

41:30

speaking as someone, I'm turning 38 this year

41:34

and I have learned

41:36

stuff since 30, but my

41:38

mental processes is the same. Like

41:41

it's not like, like there was a big gap

41:43

from like 22 to 30. But

41:45

like after 30, it's like no, I

41:48

kind of like- Even mid 20s I

41:50

feel like, like there's, you know, like this chick who's,

41:52

she's 24 years old, she's dating Bill Belichick. Like

41:55

he's like 70 something. Whoa.

41:58

And obviously, yeah, she's like- like she's

42:00

dating the greatest coach of all time. She used to

42:03

learn a lot about football. Yeah? You

42:05

know? Yeah. Like I get it,

42:07

you know? Yeah, I wonder if he validates her. Oh, I'm

42:09

sure. So he

42:11

makes a lot of money, but still wants me to find

42:13

a better job or just understandable, but yeah.

42:16

So she says he doesn't make her feel

42:18

secure. He's not romantic and he doesn't take

42:20

her on any dates. He doesn't put any

42:22

effort in besides paying bills. Okay, now that's

42:24

right. That's right. Yeah, looks

42:26

like a dad. Yeah, that's a dad. Yeah,

42:29

and then I don't want to date my dad. Sorry,

42:31

dad. But okay, nitpicky

42:34

sidetrack? Yeah. I hate

42:36

this daddy-daughter-date shit. I know. But why do people

42:38

say it out loud? Don't

42:40

say it's a fucking date. Don't ever say it's

42:42

a date. Yeah, I know. Just shut up. Yeah,

42:45

I, yeah, yeah. That's

42:47

weird to me. I got a buddy who said it to me a

42:49

couple times. I'm like, I gotta pull him aside one day

42:51

and be like, what the fuck is this about? Yeah,

42:53

well, okay, so I get the place it's coming

42:55

from. Yeah, I know where it's coming from. It's completely

42:57

fine. Yeah, but where it's like, I want

42:59

my daughter to see how a real man

43:01

should take her, which should treat her, right?

43:04

Even there, I'm weirded out. But it's weird. I'm weirded

43:06

out too. Yeah, I'm weird about that. Okay, I'm glad we're in

43:08

the same page. Oh, I'm on that phone. I'm tugging

43:10

that freaking horn right there. Because like. Shit's just so

43:13

weird. Also, get over yourself. Right. Can you just get

43:15

over yourself for a second? Do you think it's

43:17

like a narcissistic thing where they

43:19

want to be adored

43:21

by their daughter? Because

43:23

they're not doing that with their sons. They're never letting go.

43:27

And they're never letting go of that. And they're doing,

43:29

it's just such a, it's like.

43:31

It's a power thing. It's performance power bullshit. Yeah,

43:33

it's a weird dynamic. I don't

43:35

like it at all. It's fucking weird. Yeah, it's

43:38

like, oh, you look like your mother, but

43:40

way younger. And I'm gonna. I'm

43:42

gonna show you how a real man treats you. And now you'll

43:44

adore me like, you know, a younger

43:46

version of my wife or whatever. It's

43:48

so. Look, dads want to be loved

43:50

by their kids. I get it. That's not the

43:52

criticism. That's not the criticism. It's this bullshit of like, you're

43:55

like the steel mountain man

43:57

of like. You're like. All men should.

44:00

Like I am the epitome of mankind Right,

44:03

and it's like dude you're going your

44:05

first of all if you're really stuck

44:07

on that you're just chicks gonna devastate

44:09

Oh, yeah, she's gonna hurt you. Yeah,

44:12

those are the chicks that go out and suck a bunch of dicks 100%

44:16

Those are the true anal queens they get off

44:18

on like getting away with it Yeah,

44:20

you should have married one of them all

44:22

the hardcore religious chicks. I knew definitely anal

44:25

bitches. Yeah a hundred percent No, no, no,

44:27

they're zero. They're getting slapped on the face

44:29

with so many dicks. Oh, yeah, and they're

44:31

like my dad Well that would kill me

44:33

if you But

44:36

that's what I'm saying they don't know that they're doing

44:38

this shit to their brains. I know they don't know

44:41

yeah I think oh, I'm being the greatest dad. Well,

44:43

it's our best dad ever own shit. It's a brother

44:45

There are other ways to show yeah, you gotta first

44:47

of all Unwedge

44:49

this fucking gigantic stick

44:52

from your ass It's like the male equivalent

44:54

of the moms who want to be the best friend,

44:56

you know, like yeah But I'm not way

44:59

less harmful it is because there's not

45:01

a sexual weird aspect Like

45:03

that could be misconstrued as a sexual aspect

45:05

You know, I mean because it's like okay

45:07

like it's opposite. Yeah, and it's like you're

45:09

calling it a date, which is a romantic

45:13

Incinuation but um with the

45:15

I'm just saying like treating your

45:17

kids like they're anything other than

45:19

your kids Is weird

45:22

like being the cool mom. That's

45:24

the best friend mom like that Like

45:27

I'm talking about like the mean girls type of like like

45:30

that those You're

45:32

stunting your kids development by being not

45:34

down. No, they don't have a mom,

45:36

you know Well also like so for example, I

45:38

get the door for you all the time all this stuff

45:41

Yeah, do I deserve a medal for that? No If

45:44

we had a daughter I would not get the door for my

45:46

daughter Because because I get

45:48

the door for you so if she

45:51

if we had a brother, okay, I

45:53

disagree with your brother No, he

45:55

would have to get the door. I disagree. Why I think

45:57

you should get the door for all women I think I'm not getting

45:59

it I would what is under

46:02

me on the totem? No under me on

46:04

the I disagree with this point My

46:06

dad got the door for all of us But

46:09

I just it's not like a milady

46:11

It's like you're getting I get the

46:13

door for strangers, you know, like oh,

46:16

well, I'm talking about getting in the car Right

46:18

like having my wife and daughter wait for

46:21

me to open the both doors for them

46:23

It's just gets to Sillytown pretty quick. Hmm.

46:25

I don't know I disagree. I disagree Okay,

46:28

so there are certain aspects that my

46:30

dad did that I that you display

46:33

that I was shown from him as

46:35

that That was like a respectful thing

46:37

to do and as far as like

46:39

traditional values go with you know Like

46:41

walking on the outside on the sidewalk,

46:43

right and like the way that you

46:45

will take care of the heavy things,

46:48

you know because Physically

46:51

I am just physically biologically weaker than

46:53

you and I have no problem saying that

46:56

Yeah Yeah, and so

46:58

so like things like that my dad did

47:01

well, that's because when I'm growing up, right?

47:03

I just get told to do those things I wasn't

47:05

shown to do those things as told to do those things

47:08

and that's what I think I would do to our

47:10

daughter Is I would tell them hey if

47:12

you got a guy haven't get door for having

47:14

walking outside. Oh shit I would walk on the

47:16

outside for them show though But I don't get

47:18

the door because I got used to that

47:20

and and then when it when I dated

47:22

guys and they weren't doing That it was

47:24

like, huh? I guess they always that what

47:26

it was. Yeah, I was like damn like

47:29

I was just used to That dynamic

47:31

and like not that it challenged my beliefs

47:33

I guess because where I was like, oh

47:36

maybe I'm I was raised

47:38

very like Traditionally,

47:40

you know, but like I liked

47:43

that Damn and like there was certain

47:45

aspects of like being treated like a lady. Okay,

47:47

maybe I'm wrong that I kind of liked it

47:51

You know a little sister or nothing so right

47:53

and we probably won't have kids so won't matter but

47:57

But I'm just saying like I think that

48:00

being shown that was like there's a

48:02

different feeling that you get when you

48:04

experience that all your life and then

48:06

rather than being told that

48:09

that's how it's supposed to be. Good point, fair point.

48:12

Anyway, thank you so much for submitting your

48:14

questions. There are a few other ones, but

48:16

oh, are we breaking up? No, we're not

48:19

breaking up yet. I don't think so. I need

48:21

more information. We need more

48:23

information. It's too vague, I

48:25

guess, but I'm getting the

48:27

feeling that it doesn't

48:29

feel romantic. Yeah, but there's conversations

48:32

you can have about that, I think, to maybe

48:34

give them a chance. But do you feel

48:36

it in your gut? Do

48:38

you feel sparks when, because chemistry

48:40

and compatibility are both important.

48:43

Not just compatibility. Not

48:45

just like this works on paper. Gotta have the sparkies.

48:48

Gotta have the sparkies. I mean, if

48:50

you truly value romance

48:52

in your life. I don't think I could live

48:54

without passion and romance. I don't think I could

48:56

do it. Like forever, I

48:59

mean, I'm signing up for forever for no passion and

49:01

romance. I can't do it. But

49:04

other people work differently. We actually,

49:06

we have some

49:08

friends that are very analytical

49:10

and they don't really

49:13

do a lot of romantic things and they prefer it

49:15

that way. So it's all about preferences,

49:17

but it sounds like you feel a void. Exactly.

49:19

You wouldn't be writing about it if

49:22

you didn't feel a void. Good point. Okay,

49:25

so anyway, I hope that

49:27

you figured it out, but trust your gut. Honestly,

49:30

trust your gut. You can try different things

49:32

and like, poke a little

49:34

bit and like try to suggest things, but trust

49:36

your gut. And thank

49:38

you so much for submitting your questions. If you

49:40

have questions, email us podcast at

49:42

nikki.lemo about anything. If you wanna just like, if

49:44

you're lonely, you just wanna have someone to talk

49:46

to and be like, hey, swept, what's going on

49:49

in my life? What do you think? Oh, we'll

49:51

tell you what we think about your life. We

49:53

will rate your life. And

49:55

we'll judge your life. And we'll judge it, we'll rate it. Nope. You

49:58

can stay anonymous if you want. But we'll

50:00

give you the cold hard truth of what we

50:02

think about your situation. If you like to be humiliated, we

50:04

can do that too. If you have a

50:06

humiliation kink, so do I. So

50:10

I get it. It's a fact. You

50:12

don't have anyone to give that to you? We can give that to you. We're

50:14

happy to give it to you. Happy to give it to you. So anyway,

50:17

email us. If not, then I

50:19

guess thanks for listening and we'll

50:21

see you next week on Shit the Country. We'll

50:27

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