0:02

This is a Head Gun Podcast. That's

0:07

not just the sound of that first sip of

0:09

morning Joe. It's the sound of someone shopping for

0:11

a car on Carvana from the comfort of home.

0:14

That's a good blend. It's time to

0:16

take it easy, like answering some easy questions

0:18

to get pre-qualified for a car in minutes.

0:20

Talk about starting the morning right. Just

0:22

like customizing your terms so your car fits your

0:24

budget. Mm-mm-mm. Visit

0:27

carvana.com or download the app to

0:29

experience car shopping the way it

0:31

should be. Convenient, comfortable, ah. This

0:39

weekend I ran a little

0:41

race called the Silver Lake Classic out

0:43

here in Southern California. The

0:45

gun is about to go off, so I'm right

0:47

where I'm supposed to be, which is directly next

0:49

to Travis Barker. What? On

0:52

my Mount Rushmore of famous people to meet, because

0:54

I'm a drummer and idolized Blink-182 since

0:57

I was like 11, he's

0:59

just by himself standing directly next to

1:01

me. He's married to

1:03

Courtney Kardashian. Sean, there's a

1:05

chance Courtney had eyes on you for a hot second when

1:07

she was looking at Travis at the start of this race.

1:09

It would have been a hot second because I smoked his

1:11

ass. Yeah, were you trying to impress him? I

1:14

was like, should I just run the whole race next to

1:16

him so we have like, I

1:18

can just be like, wow, what a harrowing race. And like,

1:20

we did it together. And like,

1:22

should I like cut through the wind for

1:25

him so he can trade? Oh, draft. A

1:27

lot of draft. All

1:29

that went through my head. But ultimately,

1:31

I just left him in the dust. What's

1:33

so funny is like, I immediately told another

1:36

one of my friends from growing up right

1:39

afterwards, he'd called me. I told him about

1:41

it. He's like, so did you get his

1:43

information? Like, you got to be using

1:45

these opportunities. You could be

1:47

friends with him. I was like, what are you

1:49

talking? In what way do I like capture

1:52

him, throw him in my trunk? And then I

1:56

should have captured him. Yeah, you're hearing it out

1:58

loud now. Welcome

2:08

back to sitcom DnD, a real play

2:10

Dungeons and Dragons podcast recorded in front

2:13

of a fake studio audience! Today

2:16

we're going to be picking up, you guessed

2:18

it, Inside Bottoms Up with the Bugs. In

2:21

fact, what they've just done is

2:23

escort John the Cryer off

2:26

the premises, yet again. He

2:28

had some BS law that just

2:31

got passed that he claims isn't

2:33

targeting the bugs, but it

2:35

is that they can't do thumb

2:37

wars anymore, thumb wars are no longer allowed,

2:39

and it just happens to coincide with that

2:42

being the bugs favorite thing to do. So y'all

2:44

are pretty pissed as you kick John the Cryer

2:47

out, and as you are

2:49

kicking him out, Chip, you can't help

2:51

but notice that on the

2:53

door, the front door of Bottoms Up,

2:56

is a flyer, and the

2:58

flyer is for a Black Tie

3:00

fundraiser for Mayor

3:02

Nave's campaign. And we're going

3:05

to pick up there, so quiet on set, sound

3:07

speeding, and we're

3:09

rolling in. Dies!

3:12

We need a good from this

3:14

crazy world to see your friends fill

3:16

a cup. Find

3:18

the Bastion Chalice chip

3:20

and heat that's in

3:22

walled with Bottoms Up.

3:25

Step by step our probing

3:27

gates are improving calm and

3:29

away. We feel

3:32

absolutely fabulous on another

3:34

happy day. Even

3:36

different worlds keep different strokes,

3:39

but that's what I'm not at. Who

3:42

cares if all our family is

3:44

your friends? and

4:01

fall in coil as everything else. This

4:04

is the end of this, in front of a

4:06

fake studio audience. And

4:10

stay out! What is this? Somebody

4:12

put a flyer on our door and they

4:15

try to make fun of us, I think.

4:17

What do you mean,

4:19

Chippy? Does it say kick me? No, that's

4:21

on my back. I don't know who put that one there. Does

4:24

it say you want to go to the dance with

4:26

me? Yes, no, just kidding, not at all. No.

4:30

Beef, what happened to you? Oh, I also got one

4:32

of those in high school. Beef, did you get one of those

4:34

in high school? Oh,

4:37

the pigs don't dance. Pigs famously can't dance.

4:39

Pigs don't dance? Not

4:42

with that attitude. You

4:44

know what, that's what I was always saying to them, shall

4:46

it? But they really, no, they rather go with you. Beef,

4:48

are you saying this whole episode concept is going to be us

4:50

teaching a bunch of pigs how to dance? Is

4:52

that what you're saying right now? It could not be.

4:55

We have not enough time. If

4:57

you want to teach pigs to dance, get the

4:59

most famous dancing pig to do it, Kevin Bacon.

5:02

Doesn't he live in a town where dancing's

5:04

illegal? Callus grabs the note out of

5:06

Cip's hand. Oh

5:09

my gosh, what does it say? What

5:11

does it say? Okay, this is a

5:13

little passive-aggressive. Passive?

5:15

This is actively aggressive. You're right.

5:18

The mayor's having a fundraising campaign

5:20

tonight. Boo. And

5:22

they put a flyer for it on

5:25

our door as if we'd show up and give them a

5:27

dime of our money. We would never

5:29

do that, Kevin. And there's a disclaimer at the bottom.

5:31

It says, no rats dancing allowed. That is mean.

5:35

Targeted! Targeted.

5:38

Rude. Oh my god, it's almost like

5:40

we should go and totally sabotage the whole event.

5:42

Could you imagine us doing that? That

5:45

would be nuts. It

5:47

would really hurt their campaign a lot, though. We

5:50

should go. We should go and sabotage

5:52

their whole event. Yet we

5:54

totally should! We've been playing above

5:56

board this whole time. And if we

5:59

don't get cut... We could break a

6:01

little of the rules and. Well.

6:04

As San My Billie assassinate the mayor

6:07

and I got a little extreme the

6:09

may be okay for the sound of

6:11

somewhere in between the two. Yeah,

6:13

We assassinate his campaign.

6:15

Yeah oh we as

6:18

a little mass such.

6:21

A little dirty mess that the he has

6:23

to clean up. Burn the

6:25

whole place of the ground. Kill

6:27

everybody. In some cases, you're not

6:30

a weird circle. Circling each

6:32

other and you're always stepping I'm

6:34

is is weird vibe you get

6:36

and whereas sort of brainstorming voices

6:38

we. Are know like this idea?

6:40

We black Ohio. Event Loop Tip:

6:42

You look great Nuts I. Like.

6:45

You very much you also a rare and

6:47

go to business as out of it with

6:49

our consider. It

6:52

is. it is. I. Set

6:54

up the. Freezer

6:57

way. We can just show up dress nice and he

6:59

would lead is in. Know

7:01

what? What are you suggesting? How do we get

7:04

in there? and then. I don't

7:06

know. If

7:08

this were to sneak in sleep, snuck

7:10

in places worse I smell. it's easy

7:13

for me. You. On into

7:15

small. You hear a

7:17

voice from the bar. Doesn't even look

7:19

up. Pardon. says.

7:23

One hundred small. Has

7:26

anyone ever seen this man? for?

7:28

I have not seen as a minute before. Have

7:31

you seen this? I'm I'm. Never having I

7:33

love for humans were. Saying

7:37

then, what are you doing at their

7:39

bars say. Or what not going

7:41

on as well. you know? he

7:43

pushes away from the bar. The

7:47

names magical moran us.

7:51

And. He looks like if require Ennis

7:53

hadn't slept in weeks. And. Was

7:55

wearing Mickey Mouse is Fantasia get

7:57

up. He's got red robes and

7:59

a tall blue wizards hat with

8:02

stars and moons on it. In

8:04

this wizard is. The most goofy

8:06

looking wizard. A goofy.

8:08

Ass look and wizard either. I'm.

8:12

Soon Roger. Ailes you a

8:14

question? What did you say about us? Kitten?

8:16

Small. Do. You wanna? Get.

8:18

Small. Sneak. In a plus.

8:21

I'm yes sir. That's

8:23

riven of apple for us. On. Yeah, we've

8:25

disguised ourselves, we've walked in just

8:28

straight up raw style. but we've

8:30

never done. By honey we have

8:32

not shrunk ourselves and as you say

8:34

that when you check in with everybody

8:36

does in pretty good job you look

8:38

have heard see that he's already at

8:41

the stairwell. Leading up to

8:43

where people stay at: Bottoms Up because

8:45

it's a tavern. Am in awe and

8:47

he's. Getting. To the middle the

8:49

stairs looks back at you like. Are

8:51

you come? And. Look. Way way way way

8:54

way way to eat at. A sign into the

8:56

books to go up said your to scare people

8:58

with goofy ass is going to scare all the

9:00

customers up. There have been here

9:03

for two days. Oh

9:05

who is ours that saw me

9:07

as if I'd do the security.

9:09

I should be more safe, but

9:11

he's easily could have a sassy

9:13

Jennifer and I thought. I

9:17

don't think he's going to Jennifer. right? He's

9:19

just boarded big weapon others and shrink others

9:21

have looked back. He's running the corner to

9:23

go to the rooms and we follow. And

9:25

yet here we. Have fallen apart

9:27

in a really predictable ways and

9:30

said blessed clear dropping the ball

9:32

has a lot of the bottoms

9:34

of logistics and he's normally kept

9:36

everything in order. Have no

9:38

day, I'll well they are for you.

9:42

And as you enter his room

9:44

to door closes behind you and

9:47

he standing behind the door so

9:49

it's almost a reveal. See

9:52

a wanna get small

9:54

I have to caution

9:56

you says. magic

9:58

that Can

10:02

be dangerous. And

10:05

you look at the top of his staff and

10:07

it looks like a normal wizard staff, but

10:10

on top of it, instead of there being like

10:12

a crystal or a gem at the top, it

10:15

is like a one for one miniature of

10:17

the machine and laser from Honey I Shrunk

10:19

the Kids. If I do

10:22

this, you

10:24

will be small. All

10:27

until the stroke of midnight. Then

10:30

you go back to being your normal selves. Midnight

10:33

tonight or midnight in like a year?

10:35

Great question. I'm not

10:37

a f***ing leprechaun. I

10:40

don't speak in riddles. Why are you so mad

10:42

at us? This was your idea, dude. We don't

10:44

need to do this. I'm leaving. No,

10:47

no. I'm leaving. You're

10:49

telling me it's dangerous. You're swearing at me

10:51

and my friend. No, it's because I lost

10:53

my kids. Oh,

10:58

well, you're not a leprechaun because you lost your

11:00

kids. They all sit crisscrossed out with us. Yeah,

11:02

we sit out. Ready for story time. I

11:07

went out drinking

11:09

with my pals. It

11:12

had been a long work week and

11:14

I work at

11:16

the... It doesn't even

11:18

matter anymore. I haven't been there

11:20

in more years. He doesn't work. He doesn't have a job

11:22

on him. He doesn't have a point. But

11:24

I left my staff at home and my

11:26

kids got ahold of it and started messing

11:28

around with it. And they shrunk themselves

11:30

so friggin' small I never saw them again. Oh.

11:34

You shrunk your kids. So now you put a deadline

11:37

on your shrinkage just to keep

11:39

people safe? Now if anyone's

11:41

gonna get shrunk, I'm doing it and

11:43

we're doing it safe. No.

11:45

Sorry to hear that, sir. Well,

11:47

we'll keep an eye out when we're

11:50

small. They're probably long dead. I

11:53

really, I know for sure. I honestly

11:55

think they grew up to be... They

11:57

got big again and they just ran

11:59

away. Gusto you. Can

12:01

you grow up? Age wise.

12:04

If. You're small. What? That hello.

12:07

Can you grow up age wise? If

12:09

you small this time work differently? I've.

12:11

Never talked to anybody who stayed

12:13

small long enough to see if

12:15

you age in a different way.

12:18

Typically I have had people say

12:20

after being turned small for six

12:22

to eight hours that they feel

12:24

like they had in fact aged

12:26

a week. But. Again, All

12:28

birds ward to say your kids

12:30

are probably older than you now

12:33

had problems. are solved

12:35

The whole that strength, don't pull that thread.

12:37

Smile. Pool that through I do. I am

12:39

going to keep offer my eyes off her

12:41

months old will. Awesome! I'll

12:44

tell you, this thing

12:46

shrinks anything and everything

12:48

except. Regret. Oh

12:51

My. God. he's tried to screeches her graph. Was.

12:55

Stolen. Or

12:57

light up against the law. Lineup Light up

12:59

against So. Sir Sorry, but

13:01

I'm I know I'm normally, I'm

13:04

immediately doesn't for this idea that

13:06

asking any questions. Would it be

13:08

better if we went closer to

13:10

the venue because I feel like

13:13

we're. So far that such a good

13:15

point. Yeah it would take us like a week

13:17

to get There were small. And then we're going

13:19

to be one one hundred. And

13:22

five hundred such as as like are fine.

13:24

but. I'd if

13:26

I do this to me,

13:28

maybe. Say. I can

13:30

stay here for him. It's just a couple of

13:33

weeks for no pay fight to so I said

13:35

why for to things out I do work. I

13:37

do. Work. Seem

13:40

like a guy that's. Always trying to

13:42

figure things out. Guilty? or

13:44

I mean the dude. This

13:46

is your room so see

13:48

Jesus. you

13:52

know what who cares send subs

13:54

gonna been sleep and his bed

13:56

waiting for him to come home

13:58

so Who cares you

14:00

can stay here sure yeah, I guess

14:02

just longer until I finally get my room

14:05

to myself. I guess all right We're in sir

14:08

Shrink us we got a deal

14:10

all right, but not Jennifer. I guess Jennifer

14:12

can stay the same size Yeah, I

14:14

don't wanna get double-smell all right,

14:17

but I'm not driving. I've been drinking who's

14:19

driving I got it all

14:21

right put that ass in gear wait Chalice

14:25

grabs all of their black tie gear. They should

14:27

still look correct for this event Being

14:31

underdressed can we bring the wig wagon and

14:33

then that gets shrunk too. I told

14:36

you this thing can shrink everything This

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15:59

cut to Y'all just about

16:01

a half a block away from

16:03

the black tie event that is

16:05

taking place at the

16:07

mayor's estate it

16:09

looks like a thatched

16:12

roofed version of The

16:14

United States White House and

16:17

there is a lot of fanfare happening outside of the

16:19

house There's a lot of carts pulling up into

16:22

like a almost like a cul-de-sac Type

16:24

driveway where people are coming in on one

16:27

end getting dropped off It's kind of like

16:29

a red carpet type of situation happening and

16:31

then moving along So lots of

16:33

people lots of commotion lots of fanfare people

16:35

taking portraits of people as they enter the

16:37

event People wearing their finest and you guys

16:40

are about a half block away from this

16:42

in an alley kind of peering around Seeing

16:45

it and getting ready to go Alright

16:49

It's everybody ready. Oh, yeah.

16:52

Yeah, Charles. Can you fix my can

16:54

you help me with my bow tie, please?

16:56

Oh, yeah, I gotcha and she Velcro's head

17:01

Thank you challenge say still

17:04

this may feel a little bit itchy

17:08

and then he blasts you with a Go

17:17

to run When

17:21

you get blasted with the energy that is

17:23

emanating out of this staff You

17:26

feel yourself itchy is an

17:28

understatement you feel your skin

17:31

Crawling and like you want to clot off

17:33

and then maybe something like is coming from

17:35

it And as you're staring at

17:37

your hands They begin to change and you begin

17:39

to get smaller and smaller looks like actually the

17:42

buildings next to you are just skyrocketing Into

17:44

the air and it gives you

17:46

intense vertigo. You're almost nauseated The

17:49

whole world is spinning and as you look at

17:52

each other give me a perception check 1719

17:57

you all look and you're like how

17:59

bad How dizzy am I? Cause

18:01

all I'm seeing is I'm looking at

18:03

Jennifer, who's now my height, and I'm

18:05

seeing like three Jennifer's. Except

18:08

for then you just realize that

18:10

not only are you small, it was effective,

18:13

but you've all also been turned into rats.

18:16

What? We're not

18:18

signed up for this! I'm touching

18:20

my body and I'm looking in a puddle

18:22

and I'm freaking. Oh Lord, I'm touching Beast's

18:24

body and I'm freaking. Challo. I'm

18:27

freaking. I'm touching Beast's body and screaming,

18:29

but it's so loud and high pitched that

18:31

no one can hear it. Oh

18:33

no. I hate this, I hate this. I

18:36

hate this so much. You

18:38

look over and there is, one

18:40

of you is still a human. Is it

18:42

me? It is not. It

18:45

is Jennifer. And

18:48

Jennifer, however you imagine her looking

18:50

as a human, that's exactly what

18:52

she looks like. She

18:55

has hair everywhere, Harper. But

18:58

she's human. I was gonna say she looks like

19:01

Jennifer Love Hewitt. I just picked

19:03

this celebrity Jennifer. I just picked her

19:05

to celebrity Jennifer. That is

19:07

generous. Jennifer-ist.

19:10

Let's just say I don't picture Jennifer as

19:12

Jennifer Love Hewitt. I just wanna say this, it's

19:15

when like artists talk about, hey, the lyrics

19:17

to my song, everyone interprets it differently and

19:19

nobody's wrong. Whatever the listener

19:21

thinks Jennifer looks like as a human,

19:23

you are correct. That is exactly what

19:25

she looks like. Holy crap! Oh

19:28

my fucking god. Wow! Oh

19:31

my god. Holy crap. I

19:34

don't like it, I don't like it!

19:36

No, we don't either, we don't either,

19:38

trust me. You brought the wig wagon.

19:40

Oh, let me put on a rag costume,

19:42

please, I feel weird. Oh, I

19:44

left that one back at home, I'm sorry. And

19:47

I returned mine to Party City finally.

19:50

Oh, good for you, Beef. Trying to get some

19:52

good grace back in the Party City. They

19:54

beat the shit out of him though, I'm walking. Guys,

19:58

focus, it's over. Pretty late into

20:00

the evening we turn into humans at

20:02

midnight. We don't want that happening here

20:06

You look over at Jennifer. She looks she's dressed as

20:08

a Honda Accord now Excuse

20:10

me It's

20:13

what I said one of those

20:15

disguises. Oh, oh, thank you. Thank you What

20:18

do we think? How are

20:20

we getting in? I mean, you know,

20:22

we're all the holes in the place. All

20:24

right, aren't you a hole finder? Do you

20:26

little rats you that was weird? God

20:30

you look so weird It's

20:34

hard to constant. Oh look at me. I

20:36

don't even want you like that. I figured

20:38

you'd want to be human I hear you

20:40

singing every night. You're always like I wish

20:42

I was a human in the size of

20:44

my friend You

20:47

think it every night? Yeah, how

20:49

do you feel? I hate it. I

20:51

want to be a real human I'm a little freak right

20:53

now. No, but you look

20:55

great and beef's eating trash now Well

20:58

beef's the same that's good. Thank you

21:00

for speaking the consistent voice of reason

21:02

your beef Guys

21:06

the first thing we got to do as a rat

21:08

pack we got a little rat

21:10

con aka That's when the rats do

21:12

recon found me and she leads

21:14

you around the corner and scurries and you guys are kind

21:17

of like Ducking and weaving in

21:19

between the trash to get closer to the main

21:21

event You know what?

21:23

I'm realizing everybody was that Magical

21:26

Maran has turned his kids into

21:28

rats forever Like

21:30

no wonder you couldn't find his kids. They're little

21:33

rats running around somewhere He could have just killed

21:35

the rats that are in his house. Yeah, where

21:37

did he go? Actually, he saw him walk

21:39

away Of course you see the regular

21:41

fanfare of people making a way down

21:43

this red carpet And

21:46

you see they're carrying things like parasols.

21:48

They have super large wigs hoop

21:50

skirts things like that I do feel like

21:52

the people that would be the most cautious

21:54

and looking out for rats are the

21:57

chefs and the people in the kitchen But

22:00

those cakes look super tasty, so I'm going straight for the

22:02

cake. Yeah, I'm thinking we burrow into the

22:04

cake. Eat at all. Eat

22:06

whatever we want inside of it. Mm-hmm.

22:09

High-risk, high-reward. I'm with you. Hop out.

22:12

People are like, ahh! There's rats

22:14

in the cake! Oh,

22:17

yeah. Disgusting. Who would ever throw a

22:19

party with rats in the cake? Oh,

22:21

we are the sabotage. We are the

22:24

sabotage. It works on two levels! But

22:26

what if they kill us? Oh.

22:29

Also, people love rats now. Yeah,

22:31

but do the rich and the elite love rats

22:33

now? I guess there's only one way to

22:36

find out. Yeah. Or, or...

22:39

Oh, oh, Charles has got an idea. We

22:41

give up and we go kill that wizard

22:43

right now. All good options.

22:47

But I'm sorry,

22:49

guys. When there's cake right in front of me, I

22:51

don't know about y'all, but I gotta stick

22:53

my head in that little cake. Okay. This

22:55

will be the plan. Everyone through the cake will

22:58

explode out of it. But

23:01

we all have to run so fast. Where are we

23:03

gonna meet to stay safe

23:05

and come up with part two of the plan?

23:07

The chef's hat. The

23:10

chef's hat. Okay. Everybody, explode

23:12

out of the cake. Eat as much cake as you

23:14

want. Not too much as you fall asleep. Beef looking right

23:16

at you. Direct eye contact with you. Looking right at you.

23:18

Direct eye contact with you, Beef. I'm gonna have a

23:20

floor! Just one nap before we jump

23:22

out. Please, Charles. No, because then we're

23:24

gonna nap. It's gonna be midnight. And

23:27

then we're gonna be our full size. It's

23:29

gonna be a disaster. So, look at

23:31

me, Beef. Chip. Nobody

23:34

eats so much. Now you have to fall

23:36

asleep. Okay. Fine. We'll

23:38

explode out of the cake. We'll all meet, reconvene in

23:40

the chef's hat. Okay.

23:43

Jennifer, let's have our cake and

23:45

eat it too! Yeah, Beef.

23:47

Come over here. Beef, over to the side.

23:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to take shift snapping? Yeah. Of

23:53

course. I'm sure Charles was talking and I was like,

23:55

not in my head. I was like, there's gonna be

23:57

a way we're gonna work around this. You almost fell

23:59

asleep. but you haven't even eaten the cake

24:01

yet. Caelus is looking directly at them. Oh,

24:04

we're pointing at you. Yeah.

24:07

I'm like a photo away. Just circulating

24:09

so much. Okay,

24:12

we're ready. All right. So,

24:16

in order to get to this

24:19

outside food staging area where they're taking

24:21

things from carts and moving that into

24:23

the estate, on your perception check,

24:25

you also notice that, you know, there's of course security

24:27

at this and they are in full

24:30

armor and they are posted

24:32

at the door and each entrance and

24:34

then there are multiple security folks

24:37

fully armed just walking the perimeter and a

24:40

couple on top of the roof as well.

24:42

So, just give me a stealth check

24:46

with advantage, all of you. Non-natural

24:48

20. I

24:50

got 15. Okay. You

24:53

all sneak to where the food

24:55

is being entered in without a

24:58

problem. But

25:00

this food is being closely inspected

25:02

by the head chef as it

25:04

enters. He's not letting anything in

25:06

that looks like it is not up to

25:08

par. It can't even enter the mayor's premises

25:12

if something looks to be even

25:15

slightly spoiled or rotten or

25:17

has a weird smell coming from it.

25:20

Only the best food is making

25:22

it into the estate. Does

25:24

this cake have any decorations on

25:26

it? One in every

25:28

three cakes has some sort of

25:31

decorations on them already. Will

25:33

we go for the one? Yeah, I'd like to

25:35

like basically the goal is to remove the decoration,

25:37

dig a hole in there and put the decoration back. Okay.

25:41

Very clever. Very smart. Give

25:44

me a stealth check with advantage. First

25:48

rolls of 19, second rolls of 4. Not

25:50

bad. I got a 17.

25:53

Y'all head up the ramp

25:55

as someone has just come down and

25:57

there is this was a big cake.

26:00

You timed it well two people had to hold

26:02

this one and they are very focused and you

26:04

run up the wooden plank Into

26:06

the covered wagon and you see

26:09

a primo cake with

26:11

a little figurine on the top That

26:13

is mayor nays with the

26:15

mayor's crown atop his head in celebration

26:18

Oh, that's great. Can we like pop

26:20

that off? So that becomes like yeah,

26:23

like pop that off the top So it could be

26:25

kind of like a submarine Yeah,

26:28

that's the kind of cartoon thinking we need

26:37

Got me really high That

26:40

was a fun image. That felt good Yeah,

26:42

you guys pop that top and you

26:45

get in that sucker you are inside

26:47

the mayor's cake. Oh

26:49

my god guys It's carrot cake. Wait,

26:51

what? In hell no, I

26:53

see little bits of broccoli. This is like

26:56

a healthy carrot cake. Hold on I

26:58

just I'm so used to eating Jennifer's

27:00

cooking, but this might actually taste good

27:03

There's freaking no way and beef like

27:05

grabs a clump off and he starts eating

27:07

and he's like, oh We

27:13

might be malnourished Only

27:16

tastes good because it's healthy. Okay,

27:19

that's not I don't know how healthy

27:21

food works Generally, I think

27:23

your food tastes bad and is unhealthy.

27:26

I spoil you guys with bad

27:28

taste No, no, no, you feed

27:30

us spoiled stuff. It's different Jennifer

27:34

We're getting we're getting picked up. We're getting picked up. Yeah,

27:36

we're getting we're going in we're going in I'd be

27:38

from gonna nap before I'm taking a snooze

27:40

sure a beef takes them

27:42

first look through This

27:44

the supper. Yeah, the stare.

27:46

Yeah, would you say the stare the

27:49

periscope the periscope of Mayor's

27:52

eyes. Okay, so give

27:54

me a perception check beef Okay,

27:58

as you get to the helm of this thing and you're looking through it

28:00

and your little heads popped out? No, see

28:02

what actually what we did, what we did,

28:04

and maybe you didn't

28:06

realize this, but in the cake, we

28:09

actually set up a system so that

28:11

there's a periscope that uses the cake

28:13

topper's eyes as

28:17

like binoculars. Listen to

28:19

the man. Maybe

28:21

you missed that, but that is what happened.

28:24

So we don't actually even need to pop our head out

28:26

of this thing. So you're using your

28:28

your mayerscope and... Thank

28:31

you. You don't have to roll for

28:33

that. It's too good of an idea.

28:35

It works. And the second

28:37

that you start to look through it, Beef,

28:39

you are like making eye contact through the

28:42

mayerscope with that head chef and he

28:44

kind of squints at it and then... And

28:47

I'm squinting back. Yeah, press the squint button.

28:49

Yeah, I'm squinting back. I'm squinting back. I'm

28:51

squinting back. It squints back at him and he

28:54

like shakes his head. He's like, what? And he's

28:56

like, oh, he's like, I gotta stop stressing

28:58

myself out. I am hallucinating and

29:00

no job is worth this. And then

29:02

he just like nods and... You planned, let's f*** with this guy.

29:07

Let's ruin this guy's mental health. And he got, and then

29:10

let's go through it as he takes off his hat for

29:12

a second and just kind of like wipes sweat off his

29:14

brow. And then he starts looking at the next dish and

29:16

you guys move into

29:18

the main space where

29:21

you are seeing through the periscope. There are hundreds

29:24

of attendees dressed

29:26

to the nines, laughing, drinking and

29:28

converting about, and you get set

29:31

on a main table. Not

29:33

too far from the

29:36

mayor himself who's hosting

29:38

some folks laughing in

29:40

an over the top manner that

29:42

doesn't feel authentic and

29:45

smiling and taking portraits with people. Guys,

29:48

we're in. Guys,

29:50

yeah, just dancing and talking.

29:52

They don't deserve this. You

29:54

guys remember when that guy kicked Seb out of window? Oh

29:57

my God, that was insane. That happened so... That

30:00

to out that I was

30:02

upsetting. That was a while, so. Much

30:04

happened that night with about

30:07

leaving that we barely processed

30:09

that day. Or. Be sticking with

30:11

the plane reagan explode out in me back in

30:13

the system. I mean, shop an

30:15

hour or two. Part of me as

30:17

a psychosis jump out and see what

30:19

the reaction is and Carlo improvised from

30:21

there. But we can maybe plan. Like

30:24

if. They asked if they're excited about

30:26

it. We do this if they hated we

30:28

do that. If they love it,

30:31

we dance. If

30:33

we love a we day and. Will they said no Rats

30:35

dancing at the. Oh, because they specifically said

30:37

no, right? Yeah, it's a. I

30:39

like you and then the more they

30:41

like it. then we and with like

30:43

a bank and we bite somebody. And.

30:46

Then they freak out. I don't know. How

30:48

do we have everyone's attention as their way

30:50

that we can get everyone to look over

30:52

at the cape isn't it com and at

30:55

a Mayor's fundraiser that the Mayor cause those

30:57

that are the biggest take any, cut the

30:59

cake and eat seeds and ourselves the first

31:01

Cease Yes! Yeah. We

31:03

gotta make sure we're the cake he

31:06

picks. Will.

31:08

Like or you, your prayers have

31:11

been answered because he's walking over

31:13

right now. Everyone's attention and one

31:15

of the servers and. All

31:17

right! Ah, Mayor and Days

31:20

is going to do the

31:22

inaugural take cuttings. Before

31:24

ah, of course we get things under

31:26

way. This means that is an argument

31:29

about to be in full effect. So.

31:31

Easy a team of the dream for

31:33

for it's mayonnaise. Here is your cutting

31:36

nice and. Well.

31:38

Enjoy! There's.

31:40

A small smattering of polite applause as

31:42

everyone is attention is now and the

31:44

Mayor. Alison.

31:47

Everyone like so much for gum and

31:49

really appreciate it. we're

31:52

gonna have some music geared towards

31:54

the end of the night before

31:56

that i will say a few

31:58

words about you know our

32:00

platform and our campaign. But

32:03

for now, just wanna welcome everyone to

32:05

the party. Hope you're

32:07

having fun, get some food, and

32:10

let's cut this cake and get those things started, huh?

32:12

Guys, watch out for the big knife. Watch out for

32:14

the giant knife that's about to come for us. Oh

32:16

yeah. Give me a dexterity check, all

32:18

of you, to see if you can dodge this knife

32:20

as it comes into the cake. We could have

32:23

been in the instrument, you guys. We had to

32:25

eat cake. Oh,

32:30

I got a 19. So the knife

32:32

digs into Rhett Chalice's

32:35

thigh. Oh. And

32:37

Chalice, give me a

32:40

constitution check to see if you scream

32:43

out or not as this happens. Okay,

32:47

you managed not to scream. It's

32:49

one of those screams from earlier where

32:51

it's so high pitched that no

32:54

one gives you a hit. You do take

32:56

two d6s of damage, though. I

33:00

have three damage done to me. Okay, and

33:02

actually just so everybody knows, you

33:04

do have rat health, which means you're

33:06

taking rat damage. It's different than

33:08

if someone else just got scraped by a knife because

33:11

you're so small. But you

33:13

have rat health, which is

33:15

just 10 HP. So you

33:17

took three damage and you're down to

33:19

seven. I could have died then if I had

33:21

rolled two sixes, is what you're saying, currently. You could have

33:23

gone unconscious. I guess you, you know, yeah, you could

33:25

have got pretty badly hurt. What

33:28

a way for Chalice to go as a

33:30

rat inside of a carrot cake. You

33:33

know what, whatever. That's rock-winding. Well, but maybe

33:35

this works. It could work like polymorph, which

33:37

actually, or like wild shape, which basically means

33:39

that when you turn into an animal and

33:41

you go down to zero HP, you just

33:43

turn back into yourself. Yeah, so maybe his

33:45

kids somewhere exploded back into being kids after

33:48

their... I think

33:50

they just ran away at a certain point after

33:52

their dad practiced his experiments on them. And I

33:54

think that that's fair. They were left alone

33:56

with it. He didn't do it on them. I don't believe

33:58

it. I think they were... that

34:00

that's a cool trunk those kids okay

34:02

the mayor feels the resistance on chalice's

34:11

rat low and hits

34:13

like bone and like oh my

34:15

god that's a carrot and

34:18

he hears that shouted out but it's just rat

34:20

gibberish it's gonna be a little up

34:23

or the mayor um figurine screams

34:26

he like pauses and

34:29

then he throws his

34:32

brow like

34:35

looking like into the cake like what is

34:37

going on yeah this is the time we

34:39

open the cake topper and

34:41

we all jump out we burst out

34:43

we burst out okay you burst out

34:45

of this cake are you staying on top of the

34:47

cake to kind of see a reaction are you scurrying

34:49

what are you guys doing I

34:51

feel like I don't know

34:54

my brain is going to flubber the scene

34:56

where all the flubbers are dancing yeah that's

34:58

us on the cake okay

35:01

chalice is really making a meal out of how

35:03

much blood is coming out of her leg though

35:05

to make it even more horrifying yeah

35:07

okay the mayor just got everyone's attention said

35:09

thank you for coming let's get this thing

35:11

let's get this party started in his like

35:14

cool way and then he

35:16

ran into some resistance in the cake looked

35:19

a little confused got closer to it inspected

35:21

it three rats and

35:23

top ice cream sorry I've heard

35:25

a dream don't talk about her screams

35:27

the topper screams everyone's like huh and

35:29

then three rats and a rat-sized human

35:31

explode out of the top and

35:34

three of them start dancing

35:38

to no music it is absolutely silent in this

35:40

room you could hear a pin drop and one

35:42

of them is profusely bleeding all over the cake

35:44

we're doing the rockette dance okay

35:47

I can't stress how shocked

35:50

and silent the room is while

35:52

this is happening for the first day and we're

35:54

like six seven eight five And

36:00

then all hell breaks loose people start

36:03

screaming like people start scrambling It's

36:09

enemies from the other campaign you hear

36:11

people like screaming like Or

36:14

they just regular rats. They're just regular right

36:17

Jennifer saying Support

36:20

the bear And

36:24

as that's happening the whole table gets knocked

36:26

over to the side in all oh and

36:28

y'all spill to the ground And now you

36:31

are in real trouble of getting Stepped

36:33

on by a party goer scatter. I

36:36

scatter yeah, I scatter and I head towards the

36:38

kitchen to meet in our Already

36:41

determined meeting spot Don't

36:45

tell them where we're going Jennifer

36:47

I said it in rat oh We

36:51

don't know the difference. We don't know Give

36:54

me a dexterity saving throw to see if you can Navigate

36:57

these stomping feet and get to

36:59

the chef's hat in that original

37:01

staging room of the food What

37:04

do you want natural 20? Oh? No

37:09

you cannot have botched if

37:11

we rolled a 20 and a 21 You

37:14

can't you cannot wait with my modifier

37:17

What well did you boss I mean about I got a

37:19

five I got a five okay? Okay,

37:22

I got a seven so y'all are

37:24

running. It is chaos every

37:26

time a boot hits

37:29

the floor in the mayor's

37:31

estate It sounds like thunder is happening

37:34

as you scramble for the open door

37:36

you are moving

37:38

and navigating you can't tell if it's luck or if you're

37:41

Watching one foot coming down, and you're trying to

37:43

judge where it's gonna land and avoid it But

37:46

at the same time there's another foot also backing

37:48

up twice as fast coming from an erratic direction

37:50

because there's room is just panicking chip

37:53

chalice Jennifer You

37:55

all make it through the open

37:57

crack to the door Beef,

38:01

you are a step away from

38:03

that door when a boot

38:06

crunches down on your

38:08

bottom half. Oh! Excuse

38:12

me! Uh, you're

38:14

gonna take 3d6 damage here. Oh!

38:17

I'm gonna die. 3d6? Okay,

38:20

I got a 3. Okay. I

38:24

got a 2. Okay, 5. And

38:27

I got a 4. Okay.

38:29

So you have one HP left.

38:32

Okay. We're

38:34

set! I know, we have no way that

38:37

can cure wounds or heal anymore. Oh my god,

38:39

that's such a nightmare. We have to add a

38:41

new cast member. I'm a dream, you're set, because

38:43

I'm the one that always almost dies and he

38:45

always brings me back to life. If

38:48

it's any consolation, none of us have spells

38:50

right now. Jennifer just sees that you just

38:53

got squashed, and so she just grabs your

38:55

hands because you're, you know,

38:57

splayed flat. Guys, tell me, poo beef!

39:00

Beefy got squoosh! I'm a pancake!

39:05

I'm a pancake! Please, push your beef! I'm

39:08

half-cake! Beef,

39:11

stay with us. Is it bad? You're okay.

39:13

Is it bad? No, no, it's good, it's

39:15

good. It looks good. We

39:17

look at her back half as fully as

39:20

flat, like she just got steam. Full pancake.

39:22

Full pancake ass. Will I

39:25

be able to dance again? I don't know

39:28

if she'll be able to walk. Chala!

39:31

Sit! Chala! Sorry.

39:35

Sorry. Put together. Or live, frankly. Also

39:37

get your blood off of her. I

39:40

can't. I'm making a meal out

39:42

of it. What does that mean? I

39:44

feel like you're eating it now. I

39:46

have these rat impulses. As

39:48

you pull beef around the corner into that new

39:50

room, you guys are tucked behind one of the...

39:53

You're hiding behind essentially a tablecloth that's hanging off

39:55

one of the tables that the food was staged

39:57

on in like a little corner of the room

39:59

there. right next to the

40:01

door and you hear from the other

40:03

room everybody calm

40:05

down calm down

40:09

and everyone slowly the

40:12

chaos in the room starts to become

40:15

under control and people stop running around

40:17

screaming we had

40:19

a little problem all right we

40:21

had a little rat problem but

40:24

uh I think it's only

40:27

fitting that that happened

40:29

when this campaign has a

40:32

little rat problem god

40:34

he's using it as part of this god

40:36

we became symbolism oh

40:39

Jesus my ass

40:41

is flat oh

40:44

he was bang shut

40:46

up Jennifer not even true beef

40:49

honestly not true yeah not even true

40:51

it's kind of not even true you

40:53

have a juicy objectively thank you objectively

40:55

juicy yeah thank you bugs like

40:58

concerningly so mm-hmm it's

41:00

like ready to burst

41:02

medically have a juice

41:04

yeah that's ready to burst be

41:08

what are we doing to the bears in

41:10

the middle of the speech are

41:12

we in the hat where are we in

41:14

the chef's hat no you're under like a

41:16

table like a table call okay in

41:18

that that staging food room so like you can

41:20

peer out the crack of the door if you

41:22

want to like have a look at the mayor

41:24

giving a speech I don't need to see this there's

41:27

got to be it more rats around I

41:29

will say that is literally a power that Jennifer has

41:31

yeah she can put on her helmet I

41:33

think we should call the rat call upon the rats

41:36

yeah if we can get Jennifer's helm and one

41:38

of us can wield it and call a bunch

41:40

of rats I mean I guess I don't know

41:42

if we're making things

41:45

worse by doing that but I

41:47

think that's all we have left I mean

41:49

if we can get all of the town's

41:51

rats into this place like

41:53

there's more rats than people in

41:57

the world right yeah but we're not gonna win

41:59

any votes for Jennifer Jennifer, if we do this.

42:01

Can I ask, how are they raising money?

42:03

Are, you know, like we did the silent

42:05

auction, are they just taking donations? Like what

42:07

does it look like for them? Yeah,

42:10

they're just taking donations. And

42:12

it seems like there's almost like a like a

42:14

church basket going around and people are just dumping

42:17

money into it. And there's like envelopes that are being

42:19

handed to the mayor, and he's like handing them off

42:21

to people. And they're being

42:23

taken into a different room. Which room?

42:26

It looks like you would have to

42:28

go like up the stairs in the

42:31

mayor's suite. What if we just stole

42:33

all the campaign money? Yeah, let's rob them.

42:35

What's the problem? I will say

42:37

look at this party would robbing them even

42:39

make a dent? And

42:41

we also have more cash than we've ever had. Yeah,

42:43

we are loaded right now. We're loaded because of

42:46

an awesome roll a couple episodes ago. How

42:49

do we hurt these folks? So the

42:51

mayor's wrapping up his speech as you guys think

42:53

about this. So

42:56

I just want to say

42:58

everybody, it's a I couldn't

43:00

do this without you. It's

43:03

a team effort here. And

43:05

I think our little rap problem won't

43:07

stay a problem for too long. If

43:09

we just stay together. We

43:12

haven't lost an election yet. And

43:15

I don't plan to this time. Let's

43:18

keep the top on top. What do

43:20

you say? Four more years

43:22

for myself, Mayor Nays. All right,

43:24

here, here, cheers, everybody. Cheers. And

43:27

now let's get these musicians up here. And

43:29

they're gonna. That's into this place.

43:32

Like there's more rats than people

43:36

in the world, right? Yeah, but we're not gonna

43:38

win any votes for Jennifer. If we do

43:40

this. Can I ask how are

43:42

they raising money? Are you know, like we

43:44

did the silent auction. Are they just taking

43:46

donations? Like what does it look like for

43:48

them? Yeah, they're just taking donations.

43:50

And it seems like there's almost like

43:52

a like a church basket going around

43:54

and people are just dumping money

43:57

into it. And there's like envelopes that are being handed

43:59

to the. mayor and he's like handing them off to

44:01

people and they're being taken into

44:03

a different room. Which room? It

44:06

looks like you would have to go

44:08

like up the stairs in the mayor's

44:10

suite. What if we just stole

44:12

all their campaign money? Yeah, let's rob them.

44:14

Let's just rob them. I will

44:16

say look at this party, would robbing them

44:18

even make a dent? And

44:20

we also have more cash than we've ever had.

44:23

Yeah we are loaded right now. We're loaded

44:25

because of an awesome roll a couple episodes

44:27

ago. How do we

44:29

hurt these folks? So the mayor's wrapping

44:31

up his speech as you guys think about this.

44:35

So I just want to say everybody,

44:38

I couldn't do this without

44:40

you. It's a

44:42

team effort here and I

44:44

think our little rap problem won't

44:47

stay a problem for too long if

44:49

we just stay together. We

44:52

haven't lost an election yet and

44:54

I don't plan to this time.

44:57

Let's keep the top on top. What do

44:59

you say? Four more years

45:01

for myself mayor nays. Alright

45:04

here, here, cheers everybody. Cheers and now

45:06

let's get these musicians up here and

45:08

they're gonna play and sing a little song

45:11

for us and a few

45:13

musicians get on stage and start

45:15

playing and now let's sing

45:17

to me and everyone

45:20

in the room starts singing

45:23

what must be some sort of

45:26

you know campaign song

45:29

or just a song that is often sang at

45:31

parties but everyone is

45:33

singing along with the band on

45:36

stage. Are they accredited? Yeah give

45:38

me a perception check. 18. They're

45:41

not wearing pants. Scandal!

45:45

And there's nothing bad happening to

45:47

them. No smoke guys are grabbing them. It

45:49

seems like you're not quite sure

45:52

but it's either them, the individuals who

45:54

are like the elite or

45:56

maybe his estate but none

45:58

of them seem worried. about singing

46:00

even though they don't have a pin. Seems

46:03

like they are living under different

46:05

rules as your definition. Whoa.

46:08

So maybe just like where we are the rules

46:10

don't apply. You know what this could mean, Chalice.

46:13

Yeah. We could have sex right now.

46:15

Oh my god, 100% rat sex. I

46:18

had the same thought. But you guys, I

46:21

don't even think we need to sabotage

46:23

this anymore. Because this

46:26

is bullsh-t. All the rich people, the rules don't apply to

46:28

them. Such a good point. I

46:30

have the tooth that I

46:32

can go up to everyone at every

46:34

campaign event and show them what I'm

46:37

looking at right now. Chalice, and look

46:39

and watches to have this

46:41

memory of all the rich having the rules

46:43

not apply to them. Whoa.

46:47

Yeah, you have that memory locked and you will

46:49

be able to share it with that magical item.

46:51

Cool, so let's go steal all their money. Yeah,

46:53

let's go steal something on as

46:55

a bonus. We don

46:57

sunglasses and we say, let's do this

47:00

thing. Chip

47:02

puts on the helm and tries to call the

47:04

rats. It's awesome, it looks so

47:06

cool. As you're doing this,

47:08

I wanna let everyone know you never asked me

47:10

and your character's never thought to do it. I'm

47:12

being nice and giving you a 30 seconds heads

47:15

up that it's about

47:17

to turn midnight and you're about to turn big. Oh

47:20

my god. What?

47:24

You never checked it, you never asked about the time.

47:27

We spent a lot of time thinking about playing. But

47:29

he just put on a cool hat. He's put on

47:31

a helm. We're about to go

47:33

steal the money. You know what, our characters

47:35

don't know. So I'm playing like Chip has

47:37

no fucking clue. Yeah, I'm playing like,

47:39

let's fucking go. Let us live

47:41

in the joy for 30 more seconds. Okay,

47:44

okay. So you

47:46

would have to attune to that helm.

47:48

Give me a constitution

47:51

saving throw. I'll tell you right now,

47:53

it would have to be over an 18 to

47:56

attune to it. Now here's, I don't normally

47:58

do this, but I am gonna. asked for

48:00

advantage. Reason being that I believe this

48:02

thing was made of the staff that

48:04

controlled the rats in the first place,

48:06

which was something that I previously

48:09

controlled. And the only reason that Jennifer exists

48:11

and the rats are part of our life

48:13

is because I stole that staff and

48:16

I brought the rats about himself. Let him roll three

48:18

times. Yeah. That's a

48:20

good idea. You're familiar with the staff

48:22

and you having wielded it before its

48:24

current iteration. I'll give you advantage for

48:26

that. That's good reasoning. I love

48:29

how this doesn't even matter if we're about to be ourselves in

48:31

30 seconds. Oh

48:34

my god! Oh my god, a miracle! Woo! Hell

48:36

yeah. Chip,

48:39

give me a, because you don't have

48:42

a ton of time to

48:44

have the rat call kind of pulsate

48:47

out of this helm. Give me a

48:49

D100 check to see how many rats

48:51

come. 62 rats flood into this place.

48:53

Do you have a command for them?

48:56

Yeah, my command is steal as much gold as

48:58

you possibly can and bring it to bottoms up.

49:01

They are going to go ahead and

49:03

do so. They

49:05

snap into action and just start screwing around

49:08

looking for gold. So 62 rats bust into

49:10

the party. They came into the vents. They

49:12

came in through all angles of the estate

49:14

and at least 50 of them actually made

49:17

it through here. And now they explode throughout

49:19

the party, are going up the stairs, going

49:21

every which way. And there is chaos and

49:24

mass hysteria that interrupts the song that was

49:26

happening that all the rich and elite were

49:28

singing along with the mayor. And in that

49:30

moment, Chip, your head starts

49:32

to really hurt and throb as you

49:34

realize this helmet is way too tight.

49:36

And then it explodes off the top

49:38

of your head because you are getting

49:40

big quid. You

49:43

just saved an hour of looking up sound

49:45

effects. That was the

49:47

perfect sound. In fact, you're all

49:50

feeling very the opposite of itchy.

49:52

You're starting to feel real smooth

49:55

and you're getting real big and you're

49:57

also having to spin because it is

49:59

very disorienting to have. have your size

50:01

change in a space and

50:03

your head quickly hits the top

50:06

of the table that you were all

50:08

hiding underneath and tips

50:10

it over spilling a bunch of food to

50:12

the ground. Oh no. Now

50:15

that we have our powers back I'd

50:17

like to disguise self for me and

50:19

then invisible chip

50:22

and chalice. Great. Thank you. Brilliant. Cool.

50:25

You do just that. So you disguise

50:27

yourself what do you look like beef.

50:30

I turn and I see a

50:32

woman that looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt as

50:34

a rat. That's what

50:36

you turn into? I just turn into a very

50:38

rich woman. That looks exactly like

50:40

Jennifer Love Hewitt. Amazing. Amazing.

50:43

And then you get the other two

50:46

go invisible? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha. And

50:49

then Jennifer is a rat.

50:51

Yeah. She hops in a chips pocket and

50:54

so now there's just a rat floating. She's just

50:56

kind of floating looking like she's sitting in the middle

50:58

of the air. That's distracting so I take her out

51:00

I throw her on the ground. And

51:03

then I go Jennifer over here and then she

51:05

scurries up my gown. Chalice and

51:07

Chip are still having sex because we haven't said

51:09

anything yet. Thank you for making us

51:12

invisible. You're welcome. What do y'all

51:14

do at this point? We head for the back door.

51:17

We stop having sex. And then

51:19

we leave. And then we leave. I'd

51:22

like to steal more gold. I'd like to help

51:24

the rats steal the gold. You don't see like

51:26

any honey pot or like where you'd be able

51:28

to get into where all the gold was being

51:30

stored or anything like that. You see a lot

51:32

of gold running in rats hands that are just

51:34

kind of screwing every which way kind of disorganized.

51:36

And it's like trying to catch dollars in one

51:38

of those dollar wind machines on your birthday. It's

51:40

like that would be really tough and maybe not

51:42

a good use of time. But you do see

51:44

one of the church baskets that

51:46

we're going around to get collections. Just

51:48

sitting unmanned to the left on your

51:50

way out and you could

51:53

grab all of it. You know as much

51:55

as you can out of it. I

51:57

mean I guess I'll just try and snag the actual basket

51:59

itself. Feels like a good carrying thing.

52:02

Yeah now you are invisible and this thing would be

52:04

like floating through the air Yeah, well we'll deal with

52:06

that later. Beef fart before

52:08

you leave What? A terrible fart the

52:11

worst part you've ever farted. Beef please.

52:13

Please to ruin the party. Well if you say

52:15

please And then

52:18

she loads up the stankiest spankiest

52:22

Sider phrases ever heard a

52:24

smelt of felt. She

52:27

blasts it Does this

52:29

count as an attack roll? Because if so you'll be

52:32

you won't be disguised self anymore. Give me

52:34

an attack roll beef Uh oh

52:38

Oh, we got an 18. You blast

52:40

it and immediately It's like

52:42

a you know a smoke bomb went

52:44

off in this place people if they

52:46

weren't screaming and scrambling before They

52:49

certainly are now and this

52:51

will go down in history as one

52:53

of the worst political events since

52:56

outside of four seasons People

52:59

are like taking chairs and

53:01

like throwing them through windows and

53:03

they're shattering and they're screaming They're

53:05

like trying to they're clawing at

53:07

their eyes and some of the chairs

53:09

are bouncing off the dense fog that is beefs

53:12

fart And

53:14

hitting them back in the face like

53:16

it's in mayhem in here, man There's

53:19

somebody that's like my legs

53:22

my legs Yeah,

53:24

and through Spongebob sound effect. All right, and

53:26

you guys are out into the open air

53:30

down the block and watch

53:33

the cutback all the way to

53:35

bottoms up you re-enter the bar

53:37

and To

53:40

your surprise there are a bunch of people Hanging

53:42

out of bottoms up drinking like

53:44

as if there were employees there It's

53:47

almost like this place runs better

53:49

when we're not here that's every

53:51

all the All

53:54

the customers just know how to get their drinks and

53:56

get their food without us

53:58

here passive income Alright,

54:00

let's kill that wizard,

54:03

huh? Amen. On

54:30

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55:09

episode is... Improv Jobs.

55:13

Aaron brings a list of 20 occupations to

55:15

the recording and Shauna will lead

55:17

Rolod20 to see which job their

55:19

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55:21

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I think that's it for now. Until

55:44

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55:46

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55:54

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56:05

was the Head Down Podcast.