18:00

You're really late. You'll do it? Yeah,

18:02

you'll do it. You want an endorsement

18:04

from me. After everything

18:06

that happened, you want an

18:09

endorsement from me. Interesting.

18:13

But you know what could make it more interesting? Let's

18:17

make it a little wager. Classic

18:19

Grenadier and Chalice

18:23

wager. It's like you almost forgot

18:25

my name for a second. That's fine. I

18:28

could not look at your name after

18:30

what happened. What happened?

18:32

What happened? Why don't we

18:35

say, if you win,

18:38

Alan Dors, what's

18:40

the rat's name? Seems like you

18:42

forgot my name for a second. Jennifer.

18:46

Jennifer. Alan Dors, Jennifer

18:48

the rat. But

18:50

if I win, you

18:52

and your little boyfriend have

18:54

to shave your heads. Oh.

18:59

What? What? Chalice.

19:03

What? I mean, we

19:05

could just play the game straight, you

19:07

know? Unless you're scared. No. Chalice

19:10

looks over at Dasho and

19:12

then back. It's a deal. We'll

19:15

shave our heads if we lose and you'll

19:17

endorse us if we win. Grenvenir,

19:20

Bradonkadonk takes Chalice's hand and pulls

19:22

her in close. Oh,

19:26

it's on. And there is

19:28

another thinking of glass signifying that

19:30

it is time for

19:33

y'all to report to the first hole.

19:35

Chalice, what did you do? Please

19:39

tell me you're good at this. I don't want to cut my

19:41

hair and shave my head. Do I have to shave my head

19:43

too? Beef, you shave your

19:45

head on purpose. We found that out recently and

19:47

it's been, we're all losing sleep. It

19:50

takes forever for the sides to grow back. I

19:52

don't want to know. I

19:55

was really good at this. She was maybe a little

19:57

bit better than me if I'm being honest. Chalice, stop.

20:00

I have beef and beef is good at

20:02

everything he touches. Beef, are you gonna be

20:04

good at this? Yeah, maybe. And then beef

20:06

trips and falls down a small rolling hill.

20:10

Yeah, maybe. What's

20:17

going on, party people? Listen,

20:19

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20:21

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20:25

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20:28

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20:30

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20:32

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20:34

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20:39

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But here's the thing, this

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20:51

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20:53

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20:55

god, they're doing zombies. Sean, why haven't we done

20:58

zombies? Actually, Sean's not

21:00

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21:02

these monsters are returning from the

21:04

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21:06

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21:09

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21:11

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21:13

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21:15

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21:17

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21:19

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21:25

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21:30

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21:32

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22:35

attention everyone. We

22:37

are about to kick off the

22:40

inaugural Cro-Cain Celebrity

22:42

Tournament for Dragons with

22:45

Night Blindness. KNIGHT

22:47

Night for those who don't

22:49

see the banner. Now

22:51

I know my voice is

22:54

being projected across the entire

22:56

course. So everyone, remember the

22:58

rules of the tournament and of cro-cain.

23:01

You can take one action before

23:03

your first stroke and

23:05

only your first stroke. You can take

23:07

one action before your first stroke and only

23:09

your first stroke. Only one player

23:12

from each team plays each hole.

23:15

The player that takes the action must be

23:17

the one to play the hole. Please

23:20

keep track of your own strokes

23:22

and of your own spell slots.

23:24

That goes for you guys. You can help me

23:27

out with that. Keeping track of your strokes. Hell

23:29

no, I'm not the DM. I'm

23:32

on vacation. I'm sorry someone broke

23:34

the fourth wall and that was distracting to

23:36

me as well. But now you are. And

23:38

I sound crazy to all of you because

23:40

I'm having conversations that you can't hear the

23:42

other side of. So you are

23:44

staring at the first hole. There's

23:47

a little sign next to it that

23:49

says the portal hole. Your caddy

23:51

is actually just a like

23:54

a scarecrow on a post for

23:56

for Gren and for Dachau who

23:59

does not. What the hell? That's

24:01

my equivalent? Me and that

24:04

Scarecrow are equals right now. You

24:07

guys should get a drink together after this. I

24:09

mean, honestly, he's probably caddied more, so I wouldn't

24:11

say that you're equals. Whoa. Oh.

24:15

Grenvenir goes up to the Scarecrow. So

24:17

how long have you and Chalice

24:19

been dating? No,

24:22

it's... Grenvenir, it's me. I'm

24:24

Chip. It's me. I'm over here. Oh, my

24:26

God. That Scarecrow is talking to

24:28

me. I can move and

24:30

I have blood in me. Ew.

24:34

God. What are you? You have

24:36

blood in you. Chip, stop. We

24:38

all have blood, Chalice. Well, not

24:40

the Scarecrow. What's his name?

24:43

Jergen. Like the lotion? Based

24:46

on a combination of the little sign that says the portal hole

24:49

and just what you're seeing with your eyes, this is what you

24:51

all take in. There are

24:53

three-dimensional portals about five feet in

24:55

front of you on this putting

24:57

green. If you keep

24:59

walking the path to your right, like the

25:01

path that you walk for the rest of

25:04

the course, you'd cross a small wooden bridge

25:06

that leads to another green with three-dimensional portals.

25:08

You are at a higher elevation, and you can see

25:11

the other green on your right-hand side down below you,

25:13

like about 30 feet away. Behind

25:15

the hole itself at the bottom there

25:17

is a beautiful pyramid of full champagne

25:20

flutes glistening in the sun. You

25:22

decide, Gren, do you wanna go first or second

25:24

on this first hole? I

25:27

will go second. Okay.

25:30

Good choice, good choice. Chalice and

25:33

pork. You're gonna be putting

25:35

at three different portals that are just like

25:38

five feet away on the green. And

25:41

a portal typically will transport

25:43

to another place. And

25:45

you see additional portals, like

25:47

30 feet away by

25:49

like a hole. So this is like a replica of

25:52

one of those, what you'd see in mini golf, where

25:54

you shoot it into a tube and you're like, oh,

25:56

which tube is it gonna come out of on the

25:58

other side? I see. So you've

26:00

got left, center, and right are the portals that

26:02

you're looking at. What are we supposed

26:04

to do, Chalice? There's three holes in front

26:06

of us. Which one's the right one? Well,

26:09

that's what we got to figure out. So

26:12

you see, beef, croquette

26:14

is not just a sport about

26:17

being nimble and being quick with

26:19

your athleticism. It's also a game of

26:22

chess. It uses

26:24

your wit and your wisdom

26:26

as well. I see what you're saying, my

26:28

lady. But I haven't played in a while.

26:31

What if you threw something through two of the

26:34

portals, two different things through two of

26:36

the portals, and see what pops out the other side? And

26:38

then that way you know what comes

26:40

to you. Snowballs, like

26:43

a flurry of snowballs. Huzzah,

26:46

what a team we are, aren't we? And

26:48

beef falls down a small hill. Because

26:51

I actually know how to play chess. I

26:53

don't know why I'm not the one that's hitting the

26:55

ball with the games. I'm just going to use two

26:57

of these snowballs, and I'm going to throw them at

26:59

the two right holes to see where they

27:01

came out. At slightly different

27:04

times. At slightly different times. And I'm

27:06

going to have my caddy, and

27:08

she points to the scarecrow. Sorry, no. My

27:11

caddy, chip. That's Jurgen. Beef's

27:15

by Jurgen trying to get an autograph. Beef,

27:18

I'm over here. I know. Give

27:22

me an attack roll. 16

27:24

plus 6. Two snowballs are

27:26

thrown from chowas at slightly different times.

27:28

And do connect and go into the

27:30

center portal, one of them, and the

27:32

right portal, the other. Now,

27:36

at slightly different times, one

27:39

of the snowballs goes to

27:41

the swamp of oblivion and back, popping

27:43

out of the portal on the other

27:45

side of the small bridge. But the

27:47

snowball is covered in muck and mud.

27:50

And it looks like you would probably have disadvantage

27:53

on that next stroke if you were going to

27:55

hit it like a mini golf ball. OK. Give

27:57

me a perception check, Jallis, to see if you

27:59

can tell which ball. which dirty

28:02

20 15 plus 5 okay

28:04

you could tell that that one was the one

28:06

you threw a little bit earlier so that's the

28:08

middle one middle the snowball that went

28:10

through the hole on the right goes to

28:12

the elemental plane of air and back and the

28:16

snowball is guided by the winds getting

28:18

it very close to the hole giving

28:20

you advantage on your next stroke I'm

28:22

not even gonna risk that left hole

28:24

I'm ready to hit all right so

28:26

you're gonna take a crack and hit

28:28

it okay so this is just going

28:30

to be a dexterity saving throw before

28:33

I hit Grant just quick question just

28:35

trying to go over my head hi

28:37

you and I had that little falling

28:40

out um was it because I ate

28:42

your whole birthday cake that one year

28:45

no but thank you for reminding me of God

28:47

never mind this yeah there's not a good plan

28:49

challenge you're just gonna say a bunch of bad

28:51

things I got a dirty 20 again 17

28:55

plus 3 so you nail

28:57

that portal the ball

28:59

disappears it had gone to

29:01

the elemental plane of air and back and

29:04

now the ball is guided by the winds

29:06

getting it very close to the hole in

29:08

fact so close that it goes in the

29:10

hole hole in one

29:14

one stroke for challenge thank you I've still

29:17

got it and she chest bumps beef

29:20

it's rude to get people's names

29:23

wrong pork that was cute now

29:25

let me try she

29:37

clicks her pen becomes the

29:39

club again it's cool every

29:42

time and hits the ball

29:44

through the the same portal nice

29:46

13 with a 13 it does go into the

29:48

portal on

29:53

the right the winds guide

29:55

it and it comes out in the other portal 30

29:57

feet below but it stops just

30:00

short of the hole. Meaning you're gonna

30:02

have to go over there and tap

30:04

it in. Get a good

30:06

look, Chalice. She sachets

30:10

her bradonkadonk away toward

30:12

the ball and gently taps it

30:15

in. So you drain

30:17

it. Two strokes. Two strokes for your team.

30:19

And there is a brief walk to the

30:21

next hole, giving you all times to either

30:23

talk amongst each other or not. Was

30:30

it when I turned your dog into a horse and then

30:32

we couldn't find the horse? It

30:34

wasn't, but I'll let you know. I did

30:37

find the horse later. Oh good, okay.

30:39

So that wasn't it. Phew, okay. It

30:42

was not that. I'm quite

30:44

surprised that you don't remember.

30:48

It was quite an event. Was

30:51

it when I copied your haircut and then I accused you

30:53

of copying my haircut? I did

30:55

find that adorable. Oh, okay. No, it wasn't

30:57

that either. Okay, I'll keep thinking. I'm gonna

30:59

keep thinking. So you

31:02

are approaching the second hole. And on

31:04

the little sign at the second hole,

31:06

it says the impossible angle.

31:09

The boundaries of this green goes five

31:12

feet forward and then takes a hard

31:14

angle back towards you and goes 25

31:16

feet the other direction. So

31:18

it's like one of those mini golf holes where you're like, oh,

31:20

I really have to bounce it off the back corner and have

31:22

it like go the other direction. And there's

31:24

a small brick wall about six inches making

31:26

like the perimeter. And

31:28

you also may notice that there are

31:31

flying squirrels perched in the tree just

31:33

above where the hole is. And these

31:35

aren't your typical, what you guys are

31:38

picturing in our world flying

31:40

squirrels. They are squirrels

31:42

with two tails, like from tails from

31:45

Sonic the Hedgehog, and they

31:47

spin them to create a helicopter effect. So

31:49

they fly around kind of cute, kind of fun. Gren,

31:52

you're going to be able to go first.

31:54

All right. Now I'm a, I'm

31:57

no frigging croquette player, but I I think

31:59

I got an idea for this one. All

32:02

right, let me hear it. What I think

32:04

you should do on this one is you

32:06

know how to do a minor illusion, don't you? You pretty much

32:08

know all the same spells as chalice,

32:10

I feel like. Yeah. Yes, I do.

32:14

OK, amazing. What if you

32:16

use a minor illusion to make your

32:18

ball look like a little acorn so

32:21

that the squirrels go grab

32:23

it? So that they do grab it. Yeah,

32:26

they'll grab it, and then they'll probably take it back to the tree

32:28

and either crap it out or get bored

32:30

of it and trap it right in the hole. I'm

32:32

going to cast minor illusion and turn

32:34

my ball into an acorn. I did

32:36

that move at the championship when we

32:39

were seniors. It's

32:42

a move I've done before. I

32:44

remember. Chalice, was it because there was a

32:46

bunch of squirrels around, or was it for a complete no-brainer? I mean, there

32:48

was a bunch of princesses playing, so all

32:51

the woodland creatures were surrounding us. He

32:53

sneezed. They come running. It was awful.

32:56

Awful. Yeah, that sounds terrifying. It's

32:58

really scary. Give

33:02

me a dexterity check again. So

33:05

the d20 plus 3, which

33:07

is your modifier? 18 plus 3, 21. Oh,

33:11

mama. With a

33:13

21, you hit your ball, which

33:15

now looks exactly like an acorn.

33:18

And it ricochets off the back

33:20

wall. And as

33:23

it gets near to the tree, it

33:25

becomes in the sight and the eye line of

33:27

the squirrels, even if it would have just gone

33:29

short on its own, because it's way too far

33:32

for a ball to go that you hit. And

33:35

one of them sees it. Their eyes go big.

33:38

And then their helicopter tail starts. And

33:40

they swoop in, pick up the acorn, and

33:43

bring it back to their tree to the highest branch.

33:46

Try to take one bite, hurt

33:48

their teeth, and drop it in frustration

33:51

right into the hole hole in one. Oh.

33:55

Hachi mama. My hair,

33:57

my beautiful locks. Don't

34:00

worry. Chip, keep bonding with Jurgen. It

34:02

looks like you two are actually getting

34:05

along pretty well. We're getting a beer

34:07

tomorrow. You needed that today, I'm

34:09

glad. Um, I think it's

34:11

your turn to hit pork. Here

34:14

goes everything. If you're just gonna

34:16

wham this thing? I...

34:18

Either I'm gonna wham it or

34:20

I have mage hand. Yeah,

34:23

do that. Maybe I could hit it, but

34:26

then my mage hand could grab it. Okay.

34:31

You can place it in the hole for me.

34:33

I knew there was gonna be something

34:35

that didn't proceed. That was a good

34:37

loophole. Okay. So you're gonna hit it

34:39

and then it like use... Oh! Well,

34:42

how could this work? Oh,

34:44

I have to use the spell before it. Could

34:47

you disguise self as the ball? Could you

34:49

be the ball? I thought about that. You did, of

34:51

course you did, and I love you for it. I

34:53

thought about being an acorn. I love you for it.

34:55

I thought about being an acorn and you hitting me.

34:59

I'm just gonna wham it, but let the record

35:01

show. I really was trying to

35:03

do some spells here. The record's the real show.

35:05

And the record real show. I

35:08

don't want anyone being like, oh, beef would just wham

35:10

it and not try to think. And it's like, I

35:12

did. But beef does fall down another hill,

35:14

I'm sure, right before he hits. I

35:18

got a dirty 20. Ooh! I got

35:20

an 18 plus 2. What a time.

35:23

With a dirty 20, you put a real good smack in

35:25

on this ball. It

35:28

bounces off that six inch brick wall, goes the

35:30

other direction just as you would have wanted,

35:32

and goes just about 24

35:35

feet the other

35:37

direction. It is one foot

35:39

from the hole. It was an amazing hit, about

35:41

as great of a hit as you could do

35:43

without the assistance of a flying squirrel.

35:46

But not good enough. Now you gotta

35:48

do the walk of shame and tap it in. Team

35:51

Moon walks and walk of shame. Jurgen,

35:53

you seeing this? You just

35:55

get the slightest impression that he nods,

35:57

yes. Right now it is

35:59

tied. three strokes, three strokes

36:01

going into the final hole. But

36:04

it's quite the walk, so you're gonna have to

36:06

shoot the breeze until you get there. And there's

36:09

tension in the air. Everyone can feel it. In

36:11

fact, most of the

36:13

people in attendance, a lot of

36:15

the other celebrities who are there,

36:17

like Mr. Pibb, who's now,

36:20

he's kind of like a Dr. Oz figure, you

36:22

haven't really been clocking his rise to prominence, but he's

36:25

kind of famous now. What? No, you can't just do

36:27

that. And a few other celebrities. What? No.

36:31

The bassist from The Bards in a

36:33

Barbecue is there. But

36:36

really, the best players out here are clearly

36:38

Chalice and Gren, because they're former captains. And

36:40

so this is the final hole to see

36:42

which team is gonna win here. And

36:45

there is a lot of fanfare around

36:47

this final hole. Is it

36:50

because I dated your brother that I broke his

36:52

freaking heart? No, but you

36:54

are getting warmer. I'm getting warmer. You

36:56

know, it would be

36:58

a shame if you had to cut off

37:00

all that pretty hair. Do

37:03

you still use the herbal essence? I

37:06

can't really afford that anymore. I think

37:08

she uses Jurgen. Jurgen,

37:11

what is Jennifer talking about? Wait, which

37:13

one's the boyfriend, which one's the scarecrow

37:15

again? The one carrying

37:17

the scarecrow is the person,

37:19

okay? I don't

37:21

understand. I'm carrying Jurgen, no offense,

37:23

Jurgen, but I'm carrying already two

37:25

balls, two clubs, and then

37:27

I'm also carrying the scarecrow who's carrying two

37:30

balls and two clubs, okay? I just wanna

37:32

point that out. Okay, so the one talking's

37:34

the scarecrow. No, no,

37:37

he'll freak. Was it when the time

37:39

you had something in your teeth and I didn't tell you

37:41

about it until after the dance? Or

37:44

am I telling you about that now? There

37:46

was stuff in my teeth at the dance.

37:49

Oh my God, she still has something in her

37:51

teeth. It's still there. Yeah, you got a little...

37:53

It's still there. Is it still there? Right between...

37:56

And the rat is the one telling me? It's

37:59

been there? since the dance?

38:01

It's the same thing, it's the same tooth. No

38:04

way. How long ago was the dance?

38:07

Like 60 years ago. All

38:09

set! Sorry,

38:11

sorry, okay, let's just do this final hole.

38:13

Made the best croquette and Captain Win. It's

38:16

funny you say that because I'm high on croquette

38:18

right now. She's

38:20

way better when she's high on croquette. The

38:23

last time I was around so many people

38:25

taking drugs. That's

38:28

a set up. I know, I tried. I

38:31

can't, but you gotta have one or the

38:33

other. You're too old to learn new things,

38:35

give up. That's

38:38

like a set up. You're

38:40

too old to learn new things. Said

38:42

the clock. Okay, we're learning

38:44

that she was doing a lot of the heavy lifting.

38:46

I'm feeling like I'm understanding. I get why she left.

38:50

Me too, me too. And

38:53

you gaze upon the third

38:55

and final hole. The

38:57

little sign next to it that says the

39:00

windmill. Now the hole

39:02

starts off with a straight shot through a

39:05

miniature gatehouse. Like a little castle

39:07

for your ball with a little

39:10

drawbridge. And then 20 feet

39:13

of straight green. Going

39:15

at a slight gradient, a slight incline. With

39:18

a windmill at the end. But

39:21

not a replica of a windmill. The

39:23

actual windmill standing a hundred feet

39:25

tall. With its

39:27

enormous blades. Moving at

39:29

a decent clip with

39:32

a large, huge, croquette

39:34

hole just inside that archway.

39:37

That would be like large enough for a human to

39:39

crouch in and like be totally hidden in it. It

39:42

is chalice and beefs. I'm

39:44

sorry. Porc's turn. Y'all

39:47

go first. Do I do

39:49

Gus? Do I do web? Do I do

39:51

spider climb won't help. I

39:54

don't know. What do I have? Why did

39:56

I pick so many spider based powers that

39:58

time? Can I. stop

40:00

the wind from existing? Well, but you

40:02

could also just like, if there's a

40:04

wind blowing one way and you blow

40:06

the exact amount of wind the other

40:09

way, it could potentially stop the windmill

40:11

from spinning. You're a great caddy. Take

40:14

that, Jurgen. A single tear falls from

40:16

Jurgen's eye. Sorry,

40:19

I'm sorry. I

40:22

know you used to have a bunch of kids, I'm

40:24

sorry. You've learned a lot about Jurgen. Used

40:27

to have kids. Used to. Yeah,

40:29

you say used to. I'll explain

40:32

later. Chawas uses

40:34

gust and you direct

40:36

it in the opposite way of the wind,

40:38

correct? Yes. Okay, brilliant.

40:42

It stops the windmill and give me

40:44

a luck check. Just roll

40:46

a d20 here. You just have to

40:48

get above a five in order for it not

40:50

to be at a moment where it's completely blocked.

40:54

Oh my god, I got a five. Oh

40:56

my god. Ty goes to the runner in

40:58

this case. It is so close

41:01

to blocking the hole but does not. Oh

41:03

my god. I thought you still got to hit it in. No, I still

41:05

got to hit it in. So now you got to hit it in. Oh

41:08

boop, I botched. No. Oh no.

41:13

I've been rolling really well all episode. I felt

41:15

that. Oh god.

41:18

Okay, you botched your

41:20

ball. You just got so excited you saw the

41:22

victory. One of the first times you would ever

41:24

be able to beat her in crocain

41:28

and you don't putt this

41:30

ball, you drive it. You like

41:33

happy Gilmore it. So hard,

41:35

it just explodes

41:37

off the course. It

41:39

is a scratch. So you have

41:41

to use a new ball,

41:43

a regular ball, not even a golden one and

41:46

take another additional stroke. Oh

41:49

god. So this will be your second stroke.

41:53

Okay. The ball goes

41:55

up the drawbridge of the miniature castle and

41:57

when it appears on the other side side

42:00

of the castle, it is 50 times

42:02

larger than when it went in. The

42:05

ball itself? The ball itself is now

42:07

five feet in diameter and rolling up

42:09

the same speed and

42:12

stops just short of

42:15

the hole. Holy cow. So

42:18

this will be your third stroke. You got to walk up

42:20

to this thing. It's the size

42:22

of an enormous cannonball and

42:24

you got to try to get it that last

42:26

foot into the hole with

42:29

your crocane stick. So

42:31

I'm going to actually ask for a strength

42:33

check on this. Strength. Okay.

42:36

How the hell am I going to carry that thing? Good

42:39

thing it's the last course, buddy. Nice.

42:43

Chalice winds up, does like a crow hop,

42:45

happy Gilmore style, hits this thing with all

42:47

her might like a baseball swing right in

42:49

the center and it gets

42:53

just enough forward momentum to

42:56

plop into that human size hole skedoosh.

43:00

And once it does hit there, you notice that

43:03

this hole is actually like a tunnel and

43:06

that enormous ball disappears. Good

43:08

news, Chip. You don't have to carry it. Oh,

43:11

where does it go? And beef

43:13

almost falls down the hole. Almost.

43:18

Well, let's see because it's close. I'm going to

43:20

have you give me an acrobatics

43:24

check. With

43:26

disadvantage because you're leaning so far over

43:28

and you and you said almost. Yeah,

43:31

yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I know you got good acrobatics,

43:33

so I got to make this even. Also, I just

43:35

think beef wants to know where the balls go. I

43:37

do really need to know. Oh,

43:40

no. Oh,

43:42

no. Oh, no.

43:46

Oh, no. I

43:48

got a six. Okay. Yeah.

43:53

Pork. Oh,

43:55

my. Pork, no. You're

43:58

meat man. Gren, you are

44:00

up. Yes, I'm gonna

44:02

try to do the same thing, use gust. Of

44:06

course. It's almost like that time.

44:09

What time? You copied my

44:11

haircut. Oh, that was my first

44:13

guess. It is the haircut thing.

44:15

Well, no, no, that's coming back, it's not

44:17

why. Mad at you. Also,

44:20

Chalice, the only reason I came up with a gust plan was

44:22

because Jurgen told it to me. Oh my god!

44:24

Jurgen probably told it to Gren as

44:27

well. Oh! Jurgen did

44:29

tell me. I did the haircut thing again. Well,

44:32

we're gonna have to do the haircut thing in a second at

44:34

matching haircuts when we have no hair, just as a heads

44:36

up. We're gonna look fine, maybe.

44:39

I'm sure you look beautiful.

44:42

With gust, you push the wind in the opposite

44:44

direction that it is currently blowing to create a

44:46

stasis. I got 18.

44:49

18, it is fully open

44:51

for business. Now, all you

44:54

have to do is putt with

44:56

your crocane. Ooh,

44:58

four. Okay,

45:01

you hit it

45:03

with your crocane and it's

45:05

just not a good hit. You do not go

45:07

across the drawbridge, but you're close to the drawbridge.

45:10

So on this one, you're gonna have a

45:12

good angle to get it through the

45:14

drawbridge. You know that there's a glyph in there that's

45:17

gonna enlarge this 50 times, but

45:19

it's a pretty big hole. So if

45:21

you can line this up right, you're in a

45:23

much better position now to get it in. Nine.

45:27

A nine. With a nine,

45:29

the ball goes through the drawbridge, gets

45:31

50 times bigger all of a

45:33

sudden, moving to the same momentum, but the

45:35

angle was just askew and you hit just

45:37

to the right of the archway. It does

45:40

not go in, but it is very close

45:42

to the hole. This is brutal.

45:44

We're watching the downfall of

45:47

a huge player here. All

45:49

right, Gren, now it's time for

45:51

a strength check. And

45:55

that's your third stroke and you are

45:57

close, but with a 10 stroke. you

46:00

hit it. It garners

46:02

some momentum, becomes

46:05

half an inch short of the hole.

46:10

Oh my God. Damn. That

46:12

stroke means that beef and chalice have won,

46:15

which makes the crowd erupt. They

46:18

put chalice on their shoulders

46:21

and put a green jacket on

46:23

chalice. And there's a lot of

46:25

celebration and libations being

46:28

passed out as well. And so

46:30

do you choose to still do the

46:32

last stroke and finish out the hole? I'm

46:35

a woman of dignity. I'll finish this game. Give

46:37

me another strength check. 21,

46:41

you smash this thing and it falls

46:43

into the hole and it appears. Son of a bitch! Before

46:46

it falls in the hole, beefs. I'm

46:48

almost out, guys. I'm almost out. Beef,

46:51

watch out! Oh

46:53

no. An Indiana Jones hat appears on

46:55

beef and he starts running down the

46:57

tunnel the other direction. Ooh, ooh, ooh,

46:59

ooh. Ah! Man,

47:02

I wish I could see what's happening down there. It

47:04

sounds exciting. It sounds cinematic, frankly. Is

47:07

your chicken friend gonna be okay? Yeah,

47:11

he'll be fine. Gren, I'm

47:14

sorry. I would almost

47:16

give up this endorsement for

47:18

you to tell me what I did. Our

47:20

friendship meant everything to me. You took such good care

47:23

of me when my mom passed away. And

47:25

you were such a good friend. What happened? I'm

47:27

sorry. I wanna be able to actually apologize. I'm

47:29

sorry. It was the dance. The

47:33

dance. We slow danced

47:35

and I knew then that

47:37

I'd always love you, but

47:40

not as a friend. Sorry

47:43

to your scarecrow boyfriend. I don't mean

47:45

to make things awkward. No,

47:47

it's okay. But

47:50

I loved you and I could not

47:53

stand to see you any longer. I

47:59

will endorse your genuf- and you

48:03

can keep your luscious herbal

48:05

essencey hair and I

48:08

will go about my business. In

48:12

your face, Grinn! No, Jennifer,

48:14

no, read the room. I

48:20

dated your brother so I

48:22

could see you more. What the

48:24

hell? And then you seemed to

48:26

hate me and then I actually... Well, after

48:28

today I did a lot of bad things

48:30

to you, so I assumed it was

48:32

one of those things. Well, yeah, I know you copied

48:34

my haircut then you got mad at me about it.

48:37

And you know, I know you're happily married now. You

48:39

and your wife seem really cute together. We

48:42

are so cute! We're

48:44

totally fine. We're totally good.

48:47

We are totally together. You and

48:49

I are gonna grab a drink. Oh, that'll be

48:51

a good idea. You say we're

48:54

totally together? What? You

48:56

just said we're totally together. A

48:59

strange thing for a person and a couple to say. But

49:02

I say it all the time. We're

49:04

totally together. In the

49:06

same room. Sleeping in

49:08

the same room. I couldn't help

49:11

but notice maybe you were making eyes at

49:13

Dasho. She looks like she's in Golden Hour

49:15

all the time. Dasho, Jurgen has

49:17

a better chance than you do. Well,

49:20

that's the last straw. I

49:23

did Dasho! I did Dasho!

49:26

Oh my god. It's

49:28

still gonna be a no from me. All

49:36

right, we cut to you're in the

49:39

tunnel where the giant balls disappear too.

49:41

Yeah, there was a

49:43

golden sandwich and

49:45

a leaf is... Beef, leave it. It's

49:48

hitting it and beef's staring at it.

49:52

Beef, don't do it. Beef,

49:55

no. Honey, no. Beef. I

49:58

do it. No! you

50:00

touch the sandwich and grab it, a different

50:02

ball from the other direction of the tunnel

50:04

falls into the tunnel itself

50:06

and starts rolling towards you. And I'm running.

50:16

Sitcom D&D is comprised of Elizabeth Andrews,

50:18

Ben Briggs, Aaron Keith, Khalid Mansour and

50:20

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50:22

song, Aaron, Elizabeth and I worked out

50:24

the story concept and Sean Marr did

50:27

the editing on this one. And

50:29

of course we were joined by

50:31

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50:34

if you're looking to get more Alison

50:36

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This week's episode is... Touchy

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Subjects! Where the

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use previous guests of sitcom

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and D. Okay! I think

52:39

that's it for now, until next Tuesday, and

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thanks, as always, for listening. It

52:53

was a hitgun podcast.