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Welcome back to dealing together for a

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scholar about. Three sweaters to get the for. it's free!

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Oh, you got fleeced Next caller I. Traded

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we get into this episode of this week

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small Doses podcast I want to thank everybody!

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weekend. I did Enemy That We Trust Live

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and I did stand up for the first

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amazing so I really really truly appreciate showing

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up for young girl. Let me just tell

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you Enemy that We Trust Live as a

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space that created based on the documentary by

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the same name but I produce last year

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were really wanted to get folks excited about

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getting understanding of our system. Well since October

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seventh I. Understand that you know what We

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only need to get excited. we need

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to get in for okay and this

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is the space I've created where folks

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come together. We do trivia that really

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excites our minds and gets folks involved

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and had that talking to each other

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about the answer is expanding upon the

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answers. Then I saw a screening of

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the film and then I invite and

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or guys are from that city onstage

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to take part Acumen A with me

1:24

and the audience. I was so just

1:26

what. In Live In

1:28

That empowered After this and the audience.

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Felt the same way. So when enemy

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and we trust comes to your city

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I hope to see you there with

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This Assad's as we love having he was.

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Yeah we're going to continue to be lauded

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Goodness that kids They're coming back for mouth

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hassle radio in select cities. We just

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expanded to do soon ankle other georgia

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so very five we would bring the

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messes ncr or right as i that.

3:12

Is so twenty? For

3:16

another. Of his as a Small Doses

3:18

Podcast and that's just me. Being

3:21

in which a sandwich yeah and i

3:23

gotta take you back or right so

3:25

wouldn't have the brown was here see

3:27

with something about how see had basically

3:30

like. One. Days is like looks

3:32

in the mirror and spoke to died

3:34

and was like a right. Moving.

3:36

Forward. I'm gonna be obedient to

3:38

you under the obedience you and

3:40

I am going to do what.

3:43

You. Have me here to do. As

3:45

you said that she has really suck with than

3:47

at any time that she defies. That's like see

3:49

pays for it. I mean not like a fun

3:51

time. They were a but let's you

3:53

know it all as as a be alive ah day those

3:56

are the be listening to the been a previous and so

3:58

you know when I was listening to this. You

4:00

know, drop it. Is a devout Christian. I.

4:02

Am not. but I think you know for those

4:04

of us who are really trying to be on

4:06

a have I brace in is still and that

4:08

the in the same type of thing is is

4:10

a different media. different languages spoken in right some

4:12

like a with what is what she's saying what

4:14

language is that for me. And

4:17

my hunger has his randomly hit me up

4:19

the blue like two days after my break

4:21

up. as she was lay out saw her

4:23

was gone. I feel like grass on our

4:25

borders and blown up for it. I Bezel

4:27

we live in. We have flown apple eyes.

4:30

And sometimes people tell you something it is

4:32

doesn't even require and explanations. You know that

4:34

I don't even have to get from her

4:37

life of whether you mean buffalo, Not Fourth,

4:39

I knew exactly. What? She meant

4:41

in that moment. And. Was see med

4:43

was that it really is about

4:45

allowing yourself to be in slow

4:48

and to let go and that

4:50

when you are like son a

4:52

muscle that you are actually moving

4:55

against the way you should be

4:57

going right which I think for

4:59

a lot of us is the

5:01

norm. Is normal for us

5:04

to flex against something that may feel

5:06

uncomfortable or even better yet the may

5:08

feel I and knowing. Great.

5:10

Like if we've never been in a situation before,

5:12

are we are like in uncharted waters? You know

5:15

our natural instinct is to swim to the sure

5:17

instead of saying like will let me see with

5:19

over there. Because the current has

5:21

taken me there and I get that because naturally

5:23

it's like yeah don't know from the to be

5:25

able to some of we get out there. but

5:27

the thing about it is that have you always

5:29

been able to swindle? Have you ever been let

5:31

go. Not. really whenever you

5:33

follow to flow. As the

5:36

best I realize is my versions of what's

5:38

have as a brown was speaking about. Her

5:41

obedience to Jesus Christ.

5:43

For. Me is my obedience to flow which

5:45

ultimately is all of us saying that we

5:48

are going to go in the direction that

5:50

Died is seeking to us. To those who

5:52

write like worth, the were aligning with the

5:55

way our intuition is leading us based on

5:57

his connection to a higher power and finding

5:59

that. Though. Is

6:01

Not. Easy. As

6:04

that, we don't talk about that today because

6:06

I think sometimes when we talk about finding

6:08

our flow, we think it's more so. This

6:11

life as I am. a groove hands and

6:13

of a damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah by the

6:15

my movements and it's like yeah, that's nice.

6:18

But. It's like when I talked about

6:20

Binding of Low On not necessarily talking

6:22

about like oh yeah we displayed six

6:24

songs in a row the were all

6:26

the rights are in the play in

6:28

a row. What I mean is finding

6:30

the trust in new to go with

6:33

the way that a higher power is

6:35

taking you and in that being able

6:37

to determine when it's a higher power

6:39

moving you and not your fear. Mahindra.

6:43

Am. I

6:50

so I jumped up in naturally.

6:52

To me is flow versus force. Now

6:55

using. When. I slow like

6:57

I'm not a something about like rhythm. I think

7:00

that some of us think about it like to

7:02

sales over them. And

7:04

there is something to be sad when

7:06

you're like in your rhythm. Right when

7:08

you're like this move any a lie,

7:10

year like I'm barely. I guess I'm

7:12

doing it. I'm doing year And then

7:14

we think about it. When that stops

7:16

were just like oh, now I'm not

7:19

in it Now Not in. That's not

7:21

what I'm talking about because you're flow

7:23

is always in action, even when things

7:25

are going the way that you. Want

7:27

them to go? And. That's what

7:29

flow is about. How do you say

7:31

and slow. Even when things are not

7:33

necessarily like showing up for you the

7:35

way that you want them to. And

7:37

I think the reality is that when

7:39

things aren't showing up for us the

7:41

way that we want them to, we

7:43

immediately decide that like, oh, we're doing something

7:46

wrong, were doing the the wrong. This

7:48

wouldn't have happened if we had done

7:50

a snazzy specced. Not always the case

7:52

because sometimes things are going in this

7:54

direction even though it's not like the

7:56

good news that she wanted. Because

7:58

that's and less is that you needed to. Oh

8:00

right, That's the information you need to

8:02

know. That was a story that needed

8:04

to be told to you for you

8:06

to be able to make the next

8:08

movement only does about force for me.

8:10

forces is simply just like oh this

8:12

is if across. Oh,

8:14

this is slow, so that's that's simply

8:17

this force. Fours is

8:19

oftentimes. For mean, When.

8:21

Something feels like I am. Having

8:24

sue. Muscle. My way

8:26

to making it makes sense. When.

8:28

I am creating. Loopholes

8:31

and jungle gym and tactics to

8:33

like make it makes sense. Surprises

8:36

Like when I see people

8:38

you know during the height

8:40

of the recent Israel Palestine

8:42

Conflict when I see people

8:44

doing entire dissertation about why

8:46

it's okay to not say

8:48

anything when is dealing with

8:50

a genocide? When I see

8:52

people saying that I feel

8:54

like see what I'm witnessing.

8:57

Is. Force. I'm witnessing

8:59

people really jumping through hoops

9:01

doing a bunch of mental

9:04

gymnastics to try to make

9:06

this month friends that genuinely

9:08

does not make sense in

9:10

the solo of where things

9:13

are going. right? And

9:15

I'm like you understand that like

9:17

all this effort that you're going

9:19

through is nonsense because you're really

9:21

is doing it because you cannot

9:23

handle what really is in you

9:26

cutting out usa you Honestly he

9:28

says a view on a Sam

9:30

for some things but there are

9:32

things impediments as you have. Align

9:34

yourself with the your now trying

9:36

to commiserate and reconcile that spores.

9:39

Where is? Honestly, If you really I

9:41

believe this, go with the way that

9:43

your body and your heart and your

9:46

soul are telling you to that you

9:48

actually will land where you need to.

9:50

But it's so difficult to do that because we

9:52

live in a world that's on a grid. We

9:56

live in a world that is so often committed

9:58

to this grid. It is so. Like

10:00

we have to do this this way and this

10:02

is way and this. A slave. You know this

10:04

is how the protocols go for this and the

10:06

beat of the Sex with Businesses the processes for

10:08

this it is wildly unnerving. And

10:11

it's not attached necessarily. Morals or

10:13

values or Freedom says has any

10:16

of those things which are at

10:18

the tenants of flow. So

10:20

you're like how do I make

10:22

these things come together and you

10:24

have to decide like I am

10:27

going to commit to really? Allowing

10:29

myself to let flow, Hatton.

10:32

Possess. The other part. You.

10:34

Have to be the remover of the forest by

10:37

letting flow happen. And letting

10:39

will happen requires you even

10:41

knowing you. It's

10:43

taken me so long to do so

10:45

much self work and cells isolation about

10:48

what are the things I allowed to

10:50

be force in my way. right?

10:52

Whether it's my co dependency or

10:54

a ban him in his shoes

10:57

or your insecurities jealousy like what

10:59

are the things that I am

11:02

allowing to be and the way

11:04

of mean feeling good about my

11:06

guts. To That's the

11:08

thing more talking about is not just say oh

11:10

what am I allowed to get in the way

11:13

of me getting to where I want to go?

11:15

That's not what I'm saying. What am I allowing.

11:17

To get in the way of meets frosting my debt? Because.

11:20

When you know you have these things floating

11:22

around it makes you say like our know

11:25

how My second. Really listen to me. Cause.

11:28

You know, Because. You know

11:30

you have these things. Those things are.

11:32

Force. The. jealousy, the co

11:34

dependency, the projecting all of these things.

11:36

A lot of us have them because

11:38

we are human and we come up

11:41

in a world where we are shades

11:43

by factors outside of our control and

11:45

then we have to take control. And

11:48

part of the taking control is learning who

11:50

you are and learning what you are and

11:52

how to be the person you want to

11:54

be in order to be able to be

11:57

in. Forgotten about

11:59

flow. The For as we also

12:01

can identify like listening over whining.

12:04

right? And someone Egypt is in the

12:06

comments on Instagram but. I

12:09

think a lot of times in order for

12:11

us to attain slow we we really do

12:13

have to get quiet and listen. And sometimes

12:16

when we are busy whining. We.

12:18

Might not collar whining of are like know like

12:20

I'm calling out the things that are problem like

12:22

I'm saying the things that are in the way

12:24

and lena and it's like for say that they're

12:26

not the what they are and I can. Ya

12:29

know that I know about their. That

12:32

Sanders also like okay once you've established

12:34

that. Now what? Nowhere.

12:38

And at some point you

12:40

have to give space to

12:42

actually let's the inspiration come

12:44

to you or less the

12:46

knowledge or less a slow

12:48

come see you and that

12:50

whining and that complaining is

12:52

is the force. It

12:55

becomes force at a certain point

12:57

because you're literally for seeing yourself

12:59

says this: be stuck in like

13:01

I don't like this. I

13:04

don't like this. And that's when we can

13:06

also go into like the abundance versus the are

13:08

scarce the mindset because the abundance mindset will say

13:10

will you'll like this but like what do you

13:12

like and like how can we like center that

13:14

versus what you don't like. This

13:17

I think a easy access. Me: We are

13:19

trying to figure that. We. Are trying

13:21

to flow, not force it out? So. I

13:23

say that To say that when it comes to

13:25

force, Slow. And flow versus

13:28

force. the to are not anywhere close,

13:30

less in a similar like. I feel

13:32

like you can identify them clearly but

13:34

they run so concurrently with each other

13:37

that sometimes use you're like wait a

13:39

minute am I? Oh shit I didn't

13:41

realize I was a force. Move.

13:44

And that episode of that he no one's her.

13:56

So. Let's get into these the and he's in

13:58

his head over to. The squad in a

14:01

little bit. but first we have some

14:03

prices for ya Right here are right

14:05

size and. How

14:07

do you find ways to operate and flow when dealing

14:09

with people who. Don't slow at all.

14:14

You know it's funny because I've been

14:16

in that situation. I've been in that

14:19

situation where I was having to deal

14:21

with people who just don't slow at

14:23

all and I was also still like

14:25

trying to find Maslow And what I

14:27

had to realize was that I was

14:30

somewhat looking for some type of like

14:32

a farming from them in how to

14:34

get into my slow and so I

14:36

had say really this. Disconnect

14:39

from wanting that some them.

14:42

Or. Expecting that from them and is

14:44

looking at them As you know folks,

14:47

That. Are in my mitts and

14:49

problem solving see other opposite: A

14:51

logic problem that I'm just solving

14:54

versus something that I'm trying to

14:56

understand. I'm not trying to

14:58

understand it on the scientists transactional least

15:00

get it to allow me to do

15:03

with I need to do to remain

15:05

and flow. Either like someone had

15:07

the and me and said that's you know

15:09

see work somewhere where her to bosses are

15:11

like the boss and the bosses son I

15:14

guess are not pro palestine and she was

15:16

like you know I don't know kind of

15:18

like how to move forward because I like

15:20

them but I feel like you know this

15:22

is something we've talked about and I was

15:24

like why. Like

15:27

unless you work at a job where you feel

15:29

like your morals are an integral part of their

15:31

job A you feel like then paying you was

15:33

integral part of like your moral interaction like are

15:35

you going taser mind. Like.

15:37

Protective ease. Protects if

15:39

he's know them for what they are

15:41

now and they know. That.

15:44

They haven't even as you. May. Felt

15:46

so comfortable to express their views and

15:48

front of you without having any less

15:50

and even interests. And were your thoughts

15:53

lie? So. Now you know what

15:55

they are. A. You can carry on.

15:58

But. It can feel like we have. The like. So last

16:00

day had our jobs as he sent me back.

16:02

it was like you know you're right, like. I

16:05

low key have been acting as if

16:07

like I mean. Like. Every one of

16:09

my jobs. For a silly like you said, I'm like no

16:12

Michael Scott. That. The Office Reference.

16:14

Less. He also really we want to

16:16

the have comfort in our work spaces

16:19

but we do not need to have

16:21

family and all were spaces. There's.

16:27

Less him. What

16:29

our best practices for revitalizing your

16:31

inspiration without it feeling. Forced.

16:36

You know I always feel like your

16:38

inspiration is coming from where he like

16:40

you're tapping into inside of you. So

16:42

I feel like when you can tap

16:44

into your joys faces like that is

16:47

like a great way to open up

16:49

your inspiration and that's him he doesn't

16:51

necessarily feel fourth. Now if you are

16:53

depressed than that would definitely feel forth.

16:55

but you know you. Yeah I always

16:58

encourage both like to not abandon themselves

17:00

in those moments. I have done that

17:02

and it is no good. It is

17:04

no good. But. Using

17:06

my inspiration. Is

17:09

also kind of like what is inspiring you like.

17:11

Do you need to get inspired because need to

17:14

get a check? right? Like is

17:16

is that you need to get inspired as

17:18

big as like you feel like you're over

17:20

do to make something. Is

17:22

it that you're inspired? Any the as bad

17:24

because you have like and assignments you. I

17:26

feel like sometimes that's a first thing that

17:29

you need to like. Square way and then

17:31

back allows you to have like an intention

17:33

in your inspiration. To the you kids

17:35

and a grounded in that. Then.

17:38

It feels like you're just kind of grasping at

17:40

straws without any real direction like of I know

17:42

that I have a deadline that the reads that

17:44

to do to get something done like I have

17:46

a costly be aware of that and then that

17:48

lets my body a my brain a my heart

17:50

muscle know like okay these are the perimeter that

17:52

were working it's but if I know this is

17:54

about as want to do. Like.

17:57

As united feeling happening say that lately I've

17:59

been fatally. Then I can tell my body,

18:01

my soul, of Missouri, the my mind. Like you know

18:03

what we want to create something so like. Keep

18:06

Keep your eyes open. The

18:08

eyes open for something. Sometimes.

18:11

It is as free as that or

18:13

as has directs is that. but a

18:15

lot of times we don't actually call

18:17

it and so we're not really telling

18:20

our inspiration the Gps of were to

18:22

move. Towards civilians. As

18:24

a decidedly that isn't force that is

18:26

really just thirty. Next

18:32

lesson. Learning to

18:34

navigate through friends assimilation says he says I

18:36

was so absorbed in my flow is the

18:38

difficult part for me. How can I find

18:40

a healthy balance between what I love doing

18:43

and been more present for my friend? So

18:45

this a different concept thing. This a different

18:47

idea of flow. Is

18:49

I think that with this idea of

18:52

flow is is this idea that like

18:54

I'm focused on a goal and achieving

18:56

it and I'm the i'm just in

18:58

like I'm kind of like in Grimaud

19:01

kind of thing. And so because I'm

19:03

in that directive and I'm moving proven

19:05

and getting things done or not really

19:07

paying attention to the things that are

19:10

going on outside of me, That for

19:12

me is that the flows I'm talking

19:14

about, the float on talking about exists

19:16

within you and it really is about

19:18

you. Trust. Scene. And

19:22

you believing? And

19:24

you connecting. And

19:27

you can do that in that other flow the sea

19:29

sauce and about. And

19:32

I feel like when you do do that in that flow the

19:34

see something about. In your work flow.

19:37

Use as a free up space in. Your

19:40

mind for other things. That.

19:42

Can really. Enhance.

19:46

That the she socket about? That's where

19:48

your friends come in. Stats were taking

19:50

time to yourself. Comes in. You.

19:52

Know that's where been Good to yourself comes in.

19:56

Because. You have to. Create.

19:59

A Worth. Wow. Of

20:01

not just the work. That

20:04

you're doing for money. But.

20:06

The cells work better. do it for

20:08

you. And that.

20:11

Is. A mindfulness that has to be had.

20:13

And that's right, that. So. I've

20:15

seen to that's where I'm

20:18

at. Like really realizing base.

20:20

And. I read this quote recently and it incredible

20:22

the really realizing that the love of your life

20:24

as a love of your life. The

20:28

lot of your life is the

20:30

loves. Of your place.

20:34

Loving your life is the love of

20:36

your life. And

20:38

when you can find. That

20:41

and pour into that. That

20:44

is you pouring into slow

20:46

and becoming obedience. And learning

20:48

and trusting. And

20:51

the more you do it, the more

20:53

you're able to see. He

20:55

has caused the Matrix the more able. To see

20:57

oh this is slow Oh

20:59

this is for. I'm

21:02

gonna release that. And.

21:04

You don't really that with anger you

21:06

ever leave it with bitter you know

21:09

relieve it with content you really that

21:11

with thankfulness and with grace. Because.

21:13

Now you're back and slow. And

21:16

you say? yeah. That's over there.

21:19

Thankfully I was able to know that. Let

21:21

me move. Over

21:25

to the Seal squad. And see what's

21:27

going on over there. Far.

21:29

Paid three on. Question.

21:44

Him a relationship he.

21:47

Was. Very steadfast in my recent

21:49

relationship. I was very steadfast

21:51

about not wanting to be

21:53

the victim to the relationship.

21:55

And what I mean by

21:57

that is that I think.

22:00

A lot of times we kind of

22:02

like lead life happened to us vs

22:04

be no actually being in control of

22:06

our life. And.

22:09

There's this weird dance that I think we

22:12

do were were like okay like I don't

22:14

want to like v like to in something

22:16

were like i can't see the trees from

22:18

the road but I also don't want to

22:20

dislike be taken for a ride and so

22:23

we commit ourselves the saying okay we're under

22:25

the an active participant. right? And

22:27

limits as a participant in his that's I

22:29

decide to be my really ships I see.

22:31

Like in the past I wasn't really an

22:33

active participant ability. in the past the my

22:36

relationships I was. Doing. Way

22:38

it's. I guess I saw

22:40

like I'm supposed to do, but.

22:43

I don't have the I had many. They see us

22:45

the you know most of us really don't know what

22:47

to do was relationships. Like

22:49

with other we have a lot of

22:52

like teachers is all we have a

22:54

lot of like examples. The a mean

22:56

if you're fortunate enough to like have

22:58

it within your family then so be

23:00

it. But it's not like love is

23:02

blind is really teaching you how to

23:04

like be in a relationship. Okay so

23:06

I was kind of doing well as

23:09

I'm supposed to do. I really was

23:11

is grounded in any like true effort

23:13

of like method or or moral principle

23:15

like it was just like year like

23:17

this is ours above it all right.

23:19

Yeah yeah, yeah. so I literally zip

23:21

I said no. We. Don't

23:24

read books. We. Gone be

23:26

intentional. Will. Be purpose or with

23:28

on go to therapy with on do the things. For.

23:30

This to work. right? Because

23:32

I don't want that when this is

23:35

done. If it is done, I don't

23:37

want to feel regretful. I

23:39

want to feel like I have.

23:41

Actually put in the efforts of

23:43

understanding how to be my best

23:45

self in this. And.

23:49

So I did and you know what

23:51

I will say and if you've ever

23:53

heard any our podcast or interviews at

23:56

me that related to my time while

23:58

I was in that relationship. I

24:00

often spoke about how he was the first man

24:02

I had ever been with who tried. Like

24:05

I feel like they've never

24:07

try, like it was. All

24:09

is like I am really

24:11

doing my darnedest and they're

24:13

kind of just like. A

24:15

year that's enough and so was like

24:18

this time with somebody who would at

24:20

least like go to therapy right? would

24:22

at least like read the books you

24:24

know or would at least like have

24:27

like they deep and says it emotional

24:29

discussions with me and even if they

24:31

didn't like they would be. Apologetic

24:34

after and then we be able to

24:36

like move forward so that always felt

24:38

like efforts that always felt like something

24:40

of value because it was something that

24:42

somebody was doing for the sake of

24:45

us. However, what I

24:47

started to realize. Was. That

24:49

I was always the one

24:52

who was. Creating.

24:54

That momentum. I

24:56

am always the one that is.

24:59

Examining what's happening with the

25:01

conflicts are and looking for

25:04

ways to. Improve. Them

25:06

are looking for ways to find resolution

25:08

like I'm always the one saying like

25:10

hey you know this is not really

25:12

like feeling good, does this feel good

25:15

to you Like this way the were

25:17

interacting like let's let's see how we

25:19

came, come together and and move passes

25:21

right? But the thing about that is

25:23

like you don't keep putting yourself on

25:26

the back like was at me and

25:28

says is that when and it's like

25:30

zip at the same way just like

25:32

wow look at me. And

25:35

my the only one in this relationship. And

25:39

you start. Questioning. That and

25:41

scum be new loan go down a road.

25:45

And I look back and I say

25:47

wow. You. Were in force,

25:49

not slow for a long time.

25:53

Because slow is not being taken for ride.

25:56

Flow is you.

25:59

Ceilings. The. And

26:01

feeling good about the direction

26:03

that you're going in? But.

26:06

Not because you're forcing it,

26:08

but because. There's an

26:10

anointed next to it. It

26:13

is building. You work with every

26:15

challenge. And I talked about

26:17

a version of this for quite some time. when I

26:19

tell ya like. You

26:21

know you that let something go when

26:23

he goes my sounds to a stress

26:25

split a relationship. I think it can

26:27

be so much harder to identify that

26:29

because you'll tell yourself that is not

26:31

necessarily a stress. It's like we're working

26:33

through something. We love to say that

26:35

we're working through something worse is a

26:37

phase you know, or it's trauma and

26:39

then we'll tell ourselves that because the

26:41

understand where that person's trauma comes from

26:43

that we understand why they bring that

26:45

trauma over here and there will tell

26:47

ourselves that our compassion can make it

26:49

okay for us to manage that like

26:51

will do that all day long. That

26:53

is not slow. That.

26:55

Is for you're forcing it.

26:59

You are rationalizing irrational

27:01

shit. You

27:03

are accepting the and acceptable. That

27:06

is a slow. You

27:08

know what we think about lights? And

27:10

how you know if you're in a

27:13

hallway? With. A bunch of

27:15

doors. And you. Want

27:17

that like to flow through that an open those

27:19

doors for the like to go through. And

27:22

if you are able to open those doors in the

27:24

light will go through. Think about how

27:26

many times has been a release. it has a you try

27:28

to open the door with somebody. And

27:30

they will not open the door. They.

27:33

Will not let you in.

27:36

They. Won't let the light is. Bad.

27:40

For. Not.

27:42

Letting the lie, then. So

27:44

that's what I mean by when we talk

27:46

about. like even when it's something that's not

27:48

going your way itself can be slow because

27:51

as long as you're letting the light and

27:53

you're letting the lesson in, you're letting the

27:55

learning in. It is still slow. When

27:57

I was doing the documentary for In Amanda.

28:00

right? It's so ironic that

28:02

it's called in Amanda we trust because

28:04

the only reason that it ended up

28:06

being able to happen with me trusting

28:08

myself. That. Is literally the

28:10

most important aspect that I can tell

28:13

you about that projects. It wasn't the

28:15

money, It wasn't the people I work

28:17

in on a it's it wasn't the

28:19

writing. Know. It was my trust.

28:22

In myself and if

28:25

I had knots somehow

28:27

decided to just listen

28:30

to my gut. I.

28:33

Don't feel like it would have come out as well even if it

28:35

did some out. Because. It would

28:37

have been based on things that were not

28:39

really what I truly cared about. And

28:43

I've never gotten to make anything truly like

28:45

with in that mindset. I don't think I

28:47

think I've always been really considering of like

28:49

with the marketplace that a care about the

28:51

as you know how my gonna make this

28:53

bigger how can I appease certain people and

28:55

when it came to this I just wasn't

28:57

a part of the equation. Is

29:00

a complete. Slow. Enough

29:02

force production. Every

29:05

issue that would arise. Every

29:07

production problem. Any of that,

29:09

I would always. Go

29:11

to my God for the consult first. And.

29:14

Ask myself. What? Would it

29:16

take for this to happen? Does.

29:19

This feel good. Loses

29:21

does this feel good?

29:25

Like the finding of the flow can

29:27

literally be as basic as does this

29:29

feel good. And when I say sealed

29:31

that I don't mean. Does

29:34

it make me feel.

29:37

Praise. Or does it make me

29:39

feel supported Like I had a want to

29:41

say that? because I think sometimes when say

29:43

feel good we take it as like always

29:46

as a compliment. When I say feel that

29:48

I mean does this feel progressive. That's

29:51

better word and good. Does it

29:53

feel like progression? When

29:55

I meditate over water, I meditate. Bring

29:58

me forward to me. Forward. Bring

30:00

me forward. I

30:03

want to progress. I want to

30:05

progress. I want to progress. Does

30:07

this feel like progression? Does. This

30:09

feel progressive. And

30:12

it either. Even when it came down

30:14

to just deciding to just do the

30:16

segments and take out the sand at

30:18

the question I had was. Is

30:22

this progressive to do this?

30:25

Or. That the seal like a cop out. Does.

30:28

It feel like you just settling. And

30:32

when I did the math. So. To

30:34

speak. It was like nah,

30:36

this. This. Is progressive,

30:40

Because. It is a space that

30:42

you've never been in before. Is.

30:44

A format that you've never seen before.

30:47

And it's centers. Others.

30:51

In a really valuable way.

30:55

While. Still allowing you to be

30:57

the vessel for the messaging. That.

31:00

Was slow not force. I

31:04

remember coming out of the pool. One.

31:06

Day when my ex and I were in the pool. He never got

31:09

in the pool so he was like sitting by the pool what I

31:11

was in the pool. And

31:13

I forgot a conversation that

31:16

we had, but. I

31:18

remember saying to myself. As

31:20

I got out of the pool. And

31:23

the save my. Mom Lisa Ship. And

31:28

I didn't think back on

31:30

like you really saw it

31:32

for like a good five

31:34

minutes that this was able

31:36

to somehow be seized by

31:39

you. Bet. You are

31:41

going to be able to force. Your.

31:43

Way into making this shit flow.

31:46

It. Was never going to happen. I

31:49

remember sitting on the dock. Families.

31:54

And. I

31:56

had just gotten news that I

31:58

was basically blacklist it from certain

32:00

comedy clubs. And that that's why

32:02

I wasn't able to set up a tour. For twenty

32:04

twenty three. And.

32:08

Since. I remember saying to

32:10

myself a getting up after sitting there

32:12

like getting up and signs a walk

32:15

towards my room and telling myself like

32:17

next. Year than figure

32:19

this out there than a Sears

32:21

you. And

32:24

I.so room and I

32:26

sat outside and realized.

32:30

Yeah. This is. For. A Swiss

32:32

This is far as. I'm

32:36

a fan. Delphi back. Be. Thing

32:38

that you need to buy bad because

32:40

the flow is leaving you in that

32:42

direction but there's this. didn't feel like

32:44

slow this felt like he go. See,

32:49

that's really what force is based in

32:51

many times: fear and ego. Is

32:53

this decision I'm making. To.

32:56

Either move or not. move is is

32:58

based in ego or fear. That's

33:01

a great way to identify. Force.

33:04

Because ultimately my reasoning for

33:06

like I'm Gonna Show Them

33:08

was. Both ego

33:10

and Cs ego that who the hell they

33:13

think they are playing in my face like

33:15

that. One time when he was singing best

33:17

Friends Are For would Luther Vandross and he

33:19

had let her know Whoa whoa whoa I

33:22

lose of Rule Yeah, he had live know.

33:26

But it was also fear. Because. It

33:28

was also fear that these people think they're

33:30

going to get away with plane in my

33:32

face like, "What do you who cares live,

33:34

right?" When. You proving

33:36

Who would? Who Are these people?

33:39

Best. Force. And

33:42

that's when I realized what I need to do.

33:45

Is I need to bring in Amanda we trust to the

33:47

people and I need to figure out how to do it.

33:50

But. There has been a project

33:52

that has come through in. Slow.

33:56

So. Why am I. Sending

33:58

out of that. Why?

34:03

It was so rebel a tory.

34:06

And so just

34:08

like empowering. Because.

34:10

It felt like I had like span

34:12

some type of alchemy and some type

34:14

of magic right? And all it

34:16

really is a space. You

34:19

know that's really all it really is. an

34:21

ad for me. Faith as a have to

34:23

be this have sex specific leads associated with

34:25

some type of religion like exists The test

34:27

in the unseen. And.

34:31

That is where my obedience

34:33

has now has a find

34:35

itself. Trusting.

34:38

That. I. Can be

34:40

and flow because. I

34:42

know myself. I

34:45

trust myself. And. I will listen

34:47

to her. And.

34:49

I will listen to her so that

34:51

when I do identify slow, I can

34:53

remove it. Step. Outside of

34:55

it. You. Know sometimes flow is that

34:58

even you. As. Other

35:00

people's ego. Is. Other

35:02

people's fear. In. Your

35:04

Way. How the a

35:06

move that. Have.

35:08

Had to do it. Guy. Had

35:10

interview and a sister was in. the

35:12

interviews has been real. You

35:15

know, she was really just being. Young

35:17

and inexperienced but she was being very

35:19

cocky about it and at some point

35:21

in the interview see as a question

35:23

that didn't relate to the documentaries and

35:25

i i says are you know she

35:27

had already told me the she hadn't

35:29

watched a documentary and I said her

35:32

on the the Zebra Questing as as

35:34

a really relate and so later an

35:36

interview she came with her final question.

35:39

Yeah she does news question with com. Be the

35:41

questions he said. So having

35:43

been this indices so long

35:45

would you say to people

35:47

who. Misconstrue.

35:50

Who you are, At.

35:54

That either for a second as they say, method

35:56

of And because I've really had this point to

35:58

understand what there is misconstrue slayer. That bid

36:00

for so long live the I haven't

36:02

figured out yet. Like ha healthy I

36:04

can. This latency I came make you

36:06

understand it's okay. Like this is my

36:09

i'm here. The track records here. they

36:11

examples are here like follow the trend.

36:13

If you feel like I am diverting

36:15

from consistency then baby I don't know.

36:17

I don't know what you're looking at

36:19

best. It? I don't know. says.

36:22

He's a little bit bad as I responded that way when she was

36:24

like, "You know, so you have any other questions, I mean, your these

36:26

kids" Question earlier that I have via. Amman

36:31

he said once I said you know he he

36:33

seem bothered by that but the reality is that

36:35

you it was not a relevant questions who the

36:37

documentaries so let's was a haven't seen the I

36:39

saw Jesus assumes I haven't seen as I didn't

36:41

assume you literally told me that you haven't seen

36:43

it but they sent you the screener as he

36:45

said well you know I just they did they

36:47

did not send it to me they did not

36:49

has me as a even if they didn't send

36:51

you. The screener you knew you were interviewing

36:53

me today. And if

36:56

it was of an important enough for you to make

36:58

sure that your work was what it needed to be

37:00

than you would have found a way to see it

37:02

by either contacting them and saying please send me the

37:04

screener what is it Would hang the fifteen bucks. And.

37:07

Expensing it. But.

37:10

Ultimately, like your responsibility.

37:12

Is. Your own. And. You want

37:14

to do a really good interview so you

37:16

will not let people get in the way

37:19

of that happening. That's why I'm trying to

37:21

say. Have. An Amazon, good game or

37:23

much on the come As soon as she was like well I

37:25

mean. I you

37:27

know and other he's still seem very

37:29

he seems offensive. Other that I'm not

37:31

the best is betting on science at

37:33

a videographer and be like any is

37:35

a me either. At

37:39

this big Aids that I've acquired. By.

37:41

You not do enough. As I said

37:43

I say I think this be better suited if he

37:45

would leave the room and we continue the interview. Alone.

37:49

And she was like. Six.

37:52

Put her jacket on with it. Keep. She

37:54

turned around. To like well us and I

37:57

see address my pr the she's been saving

37:59

this whole time. Without even knowing that she

38:01

still a novice snotty to realize that every

38:03

single time that you claim that you did

38:05

not get my screener you're saving these two

38:08

people in here who absolutely a sense you

38:10

the screener several times but you keep standing

38:12

on that. You are not given the materials

38:15

you needed who you think we will our

38:17

hotel is why lady and is the way

38:19

I like. Do you think they might. Suggest.

38:23

Know this is a Pr so you

38:25

submit addressing them from the game. when

38:28

I walked in, if that was the case,

38:30

hey ya, that semi the screening. Nonetheless,

38:34

See. Ends up leaving and on her way out she

38:36

says. I knew

38:38

this is gonna go this way. I

38:41

said, well, you manifest, it was you that. And

38:46

then we went on to do a

38:48

great interview with the videographer the lose

38:50

their She gave him her questions and

38:52

we were able to complete the interview.

38:54

The vibe went immediately to the top

38:56

because you know why we removed the

38:58

for. A scene slow.

39:07

Now you know as a Star Wars in

39:09

As A Dead Eyes even referring to force

39:11

is a bad thing is very sometimes contradictory

39:13

for me and it feels very like a

39:15

lie that but you know I had as

39:18

I don't live in a universe with i

39:20

live in this one. Guy. I

39:23

live in this once and the truth is

39:25

is that I do understand that Ah, the

39:27

force oftentimes is not with you. It's

39:30

not the forces oftentimes not with

39:32

you and so you have to

39:34

find your flow by being able

39:36

to identify with his with you.

39:39

Gratitude. Every day.

39:42

right? Mindfulness.

39:46

Awareness. Compassion.

39:50

Barrel there. But we don't live in a

39:52

society that gives them much value at this

39:55

point. And sell them

39:57

are looking to find are slow.

39:59

We understand that much of us

40:01

finding our flow with them to

40:03

come from disconnecting from the actual

40:05

shit stream that were in and

40:08

society. It's

40:10

gonna come from us saying you know where

40:12

I gotta get outta that. Mainstream.

40:15

And into flow. And

40:18

for some people that is by

40:20

aligning with you know or religious

40:22

you know groove worth some type

40:24

of spiritual practice. It's

40:26

all the effort of saying I need

40:28

to get connected to me. When

40:31

you get to make the to you. You.

40:33

Get connected to the die than you. And

40:36

the Dad and you. There's.

40:38

All these other be but I get that a man. And

40:41

so when you're in slow, I believe

40:43

that you are now on a wave

40:45

length with everybody else who's doing that

40:47

same work. The. Same way

40:49

that the turtle was on the jet stream

40:51

in finding Nemo. We're.

40:54

All gonna get there if. We

40:56

just let ourselves get in. The.