0:01

Wow, it's almost the new year and

0:04

we're going to spend this episode reflecting

0:06

on some of the biggest jerks

0:08

from this past year by

0:11

reading some wild Reddit stories. And today

0:13

I'm joined by two very special guests,

0:15

Arasha and Anthony.

0:18

You think we're special? Oh,

0:22

not anymore. Oh no, oh no, we can't

0:25

wear the hats anymore. Damn.

0:27

Oh no. When we walked in

0:29

here, it's like Arasha's like, oh, there's hats.

0:33

Arasha's like, am I the asshole? I

0:35

made the hats purposely fall off. Am

0:38

I the asshole for not wearing a stupid hat? For

0:41

a video as cast to be in? Yeah,

0:45

so anyways. I

0:48

knew it. I knew no one was for it. All

0:51

of these stories today are from 2023 and

0:53

there are some wild ones. These

0:57

are some of the biggest jerks from this year. Yeah,

0:59

how was your guys year? How

1:02

was your 2023? I mean, Anthony, I

1:04

feel like we know. I had my whole year

1:06

out on display. I feel like this year has

1:08

been crazy. Yeah, for obvious reasons.

1:10

It has been crazy. I would agree. This

1:13

year, I feel like it's been the biggest

1:15

year for a lot of people. I feel

1:17

like it was a real relaunch

1:19

for everybody. Like it's been almost three

1:21

full years now, like since lockdown. So

1:23

I feel like it was a huge

1:27

time jump. Have you guys seen that

1:29

thing where psychologists are calling it the

1:31

pandemic skip, where you're

1:33

still the age that you were when

1:35

the pandemic happened? Yeah. It's

1:37

really jarring for people who were 18, but

1:40

they were like 14 or 15 when the pandemic

1:42

started. And they're like, I don't feel like an

1:45

adult. Yeah, and they didn't even get to go to

1:47

real graduations and things like that during that time. Yeah.

1:49

I feel so bad for them. Yeah. So I

1:51

feel like this was the first year that things

1:54

started settling back to somewhat

1:56

normal. And that

1:58

was a little unsettling. in a

2:00

lot of ways it was really great because people could be

2:03

out there again and doing their thing. This

2:05

is the first year that I grew. I feel like from 2020 to 2022

2:07

I felt like I was just completely stagnant. Interesting.

2:11

I can kind of relate to that. Yeah. It

2:14

was a wild year so I'm curious how these stories are

2:16

going to be. I'm curious

2:18

what this year was like for so many others.

2:21

Yeah. We're about to find out. Well,

2:23

let's just hop right into these stories. Our

2:26

first one comes from our

2:28

relationship advice. Say

2:30

26 year old man. I

2:33

found her, a 28 year old woman. I

2:36

found her TikTok after we went on a date.

2:39

Okay. Okay. Interesting.

2:42

Found. Oops, I found this.

2:44

All right. Found your TikTok by

2:46

accident. This is honestly not something

2:48

I expected to post about but here's the thing.

2:50

I have known this woman who's 28 for a

2:52

while since we are in the same friend group.

2:55

She's a nice person, attractive and honestly I've always

2:57

enjoyed my talks with her. A few weeks ago

2:59

I asked her out on a date. I figured

3:02

if she says no it's fine but she actually

3:04

agreed. We went on a date this past Saturday

3:06

and honestly I thought it was awesome. We went

3:08

out to dinner, had drinks, spent the rest of

3:11

the night talking and we even took a walk

3:13

on a walking bridge over the town's lake. It's

3:15

not a big one. I dropped her

3:17

off and was elated. I absolutely loved

3:20

the night. However that night when I

3:22

was scrolling through TikTok on my bed,

3:24

a post from her, I didn't

3:26

follow nor knew she had a TikTok, appeared

3:28

on my For You page. Essentially

3:30

she said in the post, getting ready for a

3:32

date I really don't want to go to. So

3:36

that was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on

3:38

my head. I was so freaking happy and I just found

3:40

out she didn't want to go on a date with me.

3:43

Don't get me wrong. I'm

3:46

not saying she has to want it but

3:48

please let me know if that's the case.

3:50

We don't need to go out. We can

3:53

forget I even asked her out but doing

3:55

this on the internet, it made me self-conscious.

3:58

Not sure if that's the right word. I'm unsure

4:00

about what to do. Should I tell her I saw

4:02

this or just forget about it? Honestly, it really hurt

4:04

me and I'm not really sure I want to give

4:06

this another try. I mean, she didn't want to go

4:08

out with me in the first place, right? Uh,

4:12

damn. That's really sad. That's

4:14

super sad. Yeah, so I mean, I was

4:16

making a joke that he accidentally

4:18

found her TikTok when it sounds like he really

4:21

was not trying to fuck it. Yeah, he stumbled

4:23

upon that. Her new pages are weird and I

4:25

do... I mean, they... They like

4:27

know your circle and who you're interacting with. That's...

4:31

Where's the asshole? Is he asking if he's the asshole

4:33

for asking her out in the first place? So

4:36

this is relationship advice. So he's actually not

4:38

asking. He's just saying a situation. He's asking

4:40

for advice on what to do. Should he

4:42

confront her or should he let it go?

4:44

I do think there is obviously an asshole.

4:46

I think she's totally an asshole

4:48

for doing that. Yeah. That to me is

4:50

insane. Unless we're missing

4:52

a bunch of context and he's really creepy

4:54

and... Or she felt threatened like

4:56

she had to say, yeah. Or she felt pressured, but I'm

5:00

not getting that sense based on this.

5:02

That would have to be a complete

5:04

flip from the information we have. I

5:07

think a get ready with me while I go on

5:09

a date that I don't want to go on. Knowing

5:12

that that person could potentially see

5:14

that. Yeah, that's

5:16

definitely tough. I think... I mean,

5:18

I think the important thing

5:20

is we are missing a lot of context,

5:23

right? Because the thing with social media is

5:25

she could have just been putting that out

5:27

there as a hook. She's

5:30

like, oh, I really want people to watch my TikTok. People

5:32

will watch it if I talk about a date I don't

5:34

want to go on. That's interesting. That's drama. We don't

5:36

know what kind of content she makes. It could be a

5:38

joke because she's already getting ready. Yeah. And truly

5:40

the only way to figure that out would

5:42

be to communicate. So my best advice to

5:44

this guy would be, yeah, just bring it

5:46

up. I don't think it's like, I

5:49

saw your TikTok, but I think it's like,

5:51

hey, I saw this TikTok. I was super

5:53

psyched about our date. I thought that you

5:55

felt the same way, but this suggests otherwise.

5:57

Like I wasn't digging around, but I just

5:59

can't. across this like do you have anything

6:01

to share about it and I feel like she

6:03

can also step up and she can decide if

6:06

the date did go well and she's super embarrassed

6:08

she can be like that's so my bad you're

6:10

right like I was just nervous as

6:12

people do get on first dates like yeah those

6:14

you kind of don't want to go on any

6:16

first date because you're like dates are tough and

6:19

hard circling back you

6:21

know he said I have known this woman for

6:23

a while since we're in the same friend groups

6:25

someone they that he knew and knows her could

6:27

have seen it you it's

6:30

entirely possible if I saw that

6:32

if I had a friend who

6:34

was going on a date and I saw their

6:37

date post that I would probably

6:39

let my friend know I like hey is this

6:42

a joke is this what it what is yeah

6:44

that's kind of rude he's probably get see that

6:46

it's super rude my hope

6:48

is that maybe he didn't see the date maybe it's

6:50

something she had posted a while ago right

6:52

I do agree it's it's something you could post as

6:54

a joke or trying to get engagement if you're trying

6:57

to get followers you

7:00

know if I don't know it but I

7:02

think if I were him I know unfortunately

7:04

if I was in his position I probably wouldn't say

7:07

I was gonna say the same thing I was like

7:09

I think I would give the same advice as you

7:11

but I would just I think if I were him

7:13

I would not say anything I'd probably just kind of

7:15

be like all right I'm gonna hold off and if

7:17

she wants to go on a second day yeah and

7:20

says something cool otherwise I'm just gonna

7:22

probably not say anything and see if

7:24

she even if I think

7:26

she's not interested then we'd

7:28

be like I'll just back off what if what if like

7:31

the second date like she initiates it it

7:33

goes super well like does anything then I

7:35

would then I would go okay I would probably bring

7:37

it up in that instance and say I thought you

7:39

didn't want to go on this because I saw your

7:42

yeah yeah I would then bring it up

7:44

on the second date I would I would

7:46

believe if she initiated a second yeah I

7:48

would then be like okay yeah actually that's

7:51

it and maybe that's a joke maybe you

7:53

know maybe I misunderstood that is totally fair

7:55

I cuz again I feel like you think about

7:57

the protocol after a first date and it's usually

7:59

just just like trying to pick up on any

8:01

clues if both of you want a second date.

8:03

And I think if you pick that clue up,

8:06

it's kind of like, okay, I'm just gonna back

8:08

off. But I

8:10

only really suggested that because it does seem like

8:13

he's pretty giddy about her. And I, like

8:15

I've been there. I feel like it sucks when you're

8:18

on a first date that you feel like you're vibing

8:20

with and you thought that they were vibing and then

8:22

you're like, wait, what? Like you weren't that?

8:24

I think that's the right advice. And

8:28

while I still wouldn't take it, while

8:30

I wouldn't take that advice myself, I

8:33

do see how that would be better if I were to do that

8:35

because otherwise I am gonna perpetually be thinking about that. Oh yeah. Every

8:37

time I see her, I'm just not gonna be able to stop thinking

8:40

about it. I'm gonna be like, it's not that big of a deal.

8:42

In my head, I'll be like, it's not that big of a deal

8:44

though. And then I'd be talking to myself, I'd be like, you shouldn't

8:46

really be worrying about this. It's not that big. And then I would

8:48

just be constant, this loop of it. I

8:50

wouldn't be able to, I

8:52

wouldn't be able to be comfortable on a date until I talked

8:55

about it. I would have to. just

8:58

like, okay, hold on. I was on

9:00

TikTok, I think my For You page served

9:02

it to me because it's weird

9:05

and yeah, I saw that, but I

9:08

don't know, is everything, if you don't wanna be

9:10

on a date, right, just being like chill, smooth

9:12

about it. What about this? What if you ended

9:14

up in the same group again? Because it's part

9:16

of the same friend group. If you ended up

9:18

side by side with her. Yeah.

9:22

Do you just let it slide or do you? Or just

9:24

pull up her TikTok next to you? Check

9:27

this TikTok out. I'm a big fan. I've been watching

9:29

it since the day that we first went on a

9:31

date. Oh. Yeah. Because you

9:33

could definitely be sneaky about it too. You could post

9:35

your own TikTok. Watching a TikTok of

9:37

a girl who talked about not wanting to go on a

9:39

date with me. Getting ready for a date that I am

9:41

so fucking excited for. I

9:44

don't, I mean,

9:46

obviously, like, so much of my life is on

9:49

the internet, but I don't understand people who

9:51

share to that

9:53

degree. I don't understand

9:55

it. It's that meme of

9:57

people posting stuff and people-

10:00

on being like Batman couldn't get this

10:02

information out of me. But it's like people just

10:04

straight up put it out there. And

10:06

I'm like, wow, you're saying to the internet, you're about to

10:08

go on a date you don't want to go on. That's

10:11

true. That's a lot about you as well. If you

10:13

are agreeing to dates that you don't want to go

10:15

on. I think it would be a red

10:17

flag for me, even if it was, even if I found out, oh,

10:19

that wasn't for my date. I think I would still view that as

10:21

a red flag. So I'd be like, oh, that's a little disrespectful and

10:23

weird. Yeah. I think, I think, you know, that's

10:26

a really, that's an interesting topic that

10:28

I feel like I've been discussing with a

10:30

lot of my friends in general, like how

10:32

much of yourself should

10:34

you put out there publicly? Like, especially,

10:36

you know, for all of us, like

10:38

we're internet personalities, how much of our

10:40

truth are we wanting to

10:43

share? And what maybe is best to

10:45

keep like within a friend group, like

10:47

maybe personal stuff that could hurt other

10:49

people. Maybe that shouldn't go public. But

10:51

I personally don't see any problem with being like,

10:53

get ready with me to go on a date.

10:55

Like if you want to talk about you being

10:58

out there in the dating world, totally fair. But

11:00

I think the line of when it could hurt

11:02

somebody and when you're maybe being a little, uh,

11:05

uh, naive about how widespread

11:07

this TikTok could really go

11:10

like that is, that is

11:12

asshole behavior. Yeah. I'd definitely say

11:15

less is more in terms of giving out

11:17

private information as content. I've, I had periods

11:19

of time where I daily vlog every single

11:21

moment of my life, every single moment of

11:24

my relationship. Like I literally vlogged me getting

11:26

engaged. And obviously that didn't work out. This

11:28

is many years ago, but not,

11:31

not worth putting it out there just because I think I

11:33

was in the mindset of like, gotta get content out, gotta

11:35

get content out. And I think a lot of people get

11:37

into that headspace and less

11:39

is more. Let's read the comments

11:41

here. Um, I'd comment on

11:43

the post and ask if the date went well.

11:48

Oh, I like that. Someone

11:51

said I would message her and simply say, Hey, your

11:53

TikTok about getting ready for a date popped up on

11:56

my feed. I'm sorry. You didn't want to go. You

11:58

could have simply told me. And that was. would have

12:00

been fine. If she messages back trying

12:02

to explain or still expressed interest in

12:04

you, simply turn her down. No further

12:06

explanation required. People don't change behaviors if

12:08

they aren't made aware that it affects

12:10

other people. Someone else said,

12:13

As an introvert with some social anxiety, I don't

12:15

think I've ever wanted to go on a first

12:17

date. Even if I really liked the guy and

12:19

wanted to go to the location, my mind would

12:22

always convince me I was going to be unhappy.

12:24

Luckily, most of my first dates had been fine

12:26

or great. Sprinkle in a few duds. As

12:29

an older woman, I don't understand this need

12:31

to post everything that goes on in your

12:33

life or in your mind. Sometimes it's nice

12:35

just letting passing thoughts pass. But I also

12:37

understand younger people grew up immersed in social

12:39

media and this is normal to them. This

12:41

person has made it clear that she's going

12:43

to post things publicly that you may think

12:45

should be private. That alone may drive you

12:47

to decline any future dates with her. And

12:49

if so, just let her know you saw

12:51

her TikTok and aren't comfortable with your dates

12:53

being the subject of her videos. Before

12:56

warned, she may post about it. If you

12:58

choose to see her again, I think it's

13:00

worth having an honest conversation and setting your

13:02

boundary around what you aren't comfortable with her

13:04

posting. Yeah,

13:07

I think, I

13:09

frankly, my favorite of those is just posting

13:11

and saying how the date went. I think

13:13

that's like, it's snarky back. It's simple and

13:15

it's like, you get the done and and

13:18

it's kind of like charming. I

13:20

think it's kind of light where, because also the

13:22

reality here is that they're in similar friend groups,

13:24

they're going to end up hanging out again. And

13:27

so you don't want to make it super awkward.

13:30

It's one date, you can just still

13:32

kind of like let it go without

13:34

making it tense between the two

13:36

of you. That is so tricky. I honestly can't

13:38

say what I would do because I don't know

13:41

how often they interact. Right. Yeah.

13:43

I think other people pointed out something really

13:45

great, which is, yeah, like how she's going

13:47

to continue to act in the relationship. Because

13:49

right, like if they have that conversation and

13:51

it does go south, her

13:53

next TikTok, like that guy,

13:56

my TikTok, like that's really good like

13:58

bait. Like everybody would definitely watch. that

14:00

video so if she is more focused on her

14:03

image online and trying to get followers

14:05

get views and stuff like that it's

14:07

probably best for him to

14:09

bow out now. Update. Hello

14:12

everyone some people

14:14

have reached out

14:16

to me through

14:19

comments or

14:24

chat asking for an update on the situation sadly

14:26

there isn't much to share at the moment but I'll

14:28

provide what I can please keep in mind that

14:30

I won't be discussing this further nor will I reply

14:32

to comments thank you for your understanding. After

14:35

last week's post I read almost every comment

14:37

or at least most of them I'm thankful

14:39

to all those who commented and shared a

14:41

bit of their own personal story some people

14:43

mentioned that anxiety is normal and feeling like

14:45

not going out is definitely common suggesting that

14:47

I shouldn't look too much into it while

14:49

I agree with their perspective and see no

14:51

fault in not feeling like going out what

14:53

bothered me the the most in this situation

14:55

was having a post what

14:58

bothered me the most in this situation was having

15:00

to post a tick-tock for a significant audience I'm

15:02

a private person by nature and even my social

15:04

media accounts like Instagram have only a single post

15:06

I don't really like to overtly share nor do

15:08

I want to be with someone who does it's

15:11

completely fine to share whatever you want I just

15:13

don't want to be part of it so I

15:15

decided not to contact her I chose to pretend

15:17

I had never seen the post and let things

15:19

be I understand a lot of people might think

15:21

this isn't the best choice but I feel it's

15:24

the best course for both of us last

15:26

Thursday a few friends who also happened to know

15:28

her invited me for drinks we went to a bar

15:30

and while we were eating and enjoying our drinks a

15:32

mutual friend asked me how my date went as our

15:35

circle was aware that we were going on a date

15:37

I didn't want to say much so I just replied

15:39

oh it was good but I don't think we clicked

15:41

this friend followed it by saying we figured

15:43

which made me feel rather uneasy when I

15:45

asked what he was talking about he hesitated

15:47

but eventually said that he had that they

15:49

had seen a tik-tok post from her about

15:51

not wanting to go out at this point

15:53

I didn't really know what to say this

15:55

situation is just incredibly messy for me but

15:57

there's not much I can do about it

16:00

Still, I wasn't going to mention it, nor did

16:02

I try to look up if there was any

16:04

update on her part. In fact, I deleted TikTok

16:06

after that incident. It just wasn't doing me any

16:08

good. Nevertheless, this past Saturday, she

16:10

sent me a text. She

16:13

mentioned that she enjoyed our date and asked if I

16:15

wanted to go out again. I understand

16:17

that she clearly stated that she enjoyed our time

16:19

together. However, I don't want to be with someone

16:21

who exposes so much of their personal life. It's

16:24

not something that would be good for me. So

16:26

I decided to tell her the truth and sent

16:28

a text explaining that while I absolutely enjoyed our

16:30

date, her company, and that I thought she was

16:32

an amazing woman, her post from the night of

16:34

our date came across my For You page on

16:36

TikTok and it made me feel really self-conscious. While

16:38

I understand that she enjoyed the date, contrary to

16:40

what she felt at the time of the post,

16:43

I didn't feel comfortable going out with someone who had such

16:45

a high level of exposure online. I wished

16:47

her the best and expressed hope that she

16:49

finds someone whose lifestyle aligns with her. She

16:52

has read the message and left me on read ever

16:54

since. I don't think she will reply and I don't

16:56

think we'll have a lot of social interactions going forward.

16:59

I'm sorry if this wasn't the update

17:01

you guys were expecting, but yeah, sadly, that's

17:03

what the situation became. Anyhow,

17:06

wish everyone a good day. Wow. That's

17:09

curious. I got to be

17:11

honest, I'm a little surprised she did ask him

17:13

out again. Yeah. It

17:16

has me leaning towards the thought that maybe it was

17:18

a social anxiety thing of like, oh, I don't want

17:20

to go on a date. Like, oh, God. Yeah. I

17:24

would have to see this TikTok, you know, but

17:27

I also think he made the right choice

17:29

because it just sounds like he's recognizing we're

17:31

just such different people. And that's a

17:34

fair thing to do. Oh, yeah. No, he's a king. I

17:37

think he was so calm and he wasn't like,

17:40

he wasn't attacking of her in any way.

17:42

Like, he was like, that's your life. Like,

17:44

this is how it made me feel. Yeah.

17:47

But also, I just don't think that this is going to work out because

17:49

of that. I think it says

17:51

a lot that she didn't respond. Like,

17:53

I think usually when you

17:56

in a lot of cases, like not

17:58

responding to somebody putting their. feelings out

18:00

there, I think it's really immature. Absolutely. Like

18:02

he was being just so honest and again,

18:04

like he said that he wishes her the

18:07

best and things like that. I

18:10

would think that she just got embarrassed and was like,

18:12

oh God, I got to go. And

18:14

again, another sign that that relationship wouldn't work

18:16

out. Had she maybe responded and been like,

18:19

I'm so embarrassed, this is why I did

18:21

that. Or like, I shouldn't have done that.

18:23

I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

18:27

I'm sure he would have been like, totally fine. Let's

18:29

do that second date. I also feel it's poignant to

18:31

bring up again. I, you know, it's not usually fair,

18:33

but you know, she's 28 years old. It's

18:36

like, dude, by 28, you should

18:38

be able to withstand a conversation

18:42

that makes you uncomfortable. You should

18:44

be able to respond. Like I understand when

18:46

people are like teenagers and you're

18:49

in your early twenties, you're still like gaining your

18:51

confidence. You're still figuring out how

18:53

to interact with certain situations. But by

18:56

26, 28, like, come on. You

18:59

can show things back. That's crazy.

19:01

Come on, that is so high school.

19:03

It's disrespectful at any age, but the

19:05

older you get, the more I'm just kind of like, you

19:08

didn't learn it by now. Right. You

19:10

know, like at a certain point you figure it

19:12

out. I think it takes a lot

19:14

of courage to have boundaries and to

19:16

express those boundaries and at the same

19:18

time be respectful in those. And he

19:20

really was firm. He said, I don't think this is going to

19:22

work. And he was so communicative about

19:24

it. I think she

19:26

was embarrassed. And then that's why she didn't respond. Right.

19:29

And for him to have like put on such a

19:32

good date for her to like completely 180. He

19:34

sounds like a great guy. Absolutely. And,

19:37

you know, Bravo to him for he caught, he

19:39

saw the red flags that were red flags to him

19:41

and he said, I'm calling it

19:43

here. And I respect that. King. Yeah.

19:46

King. King. King.

19:50

All right. The next one is an Am I the asshole post? Now

19:53

you can find it. Now

19:55

I can figure out who's the asshole. We'll

19:57

determine this time. Oh my God. Oh,

20:01

it's not it. Yeah.

20:03

Oh, okay. Don't read

20:05

ahead. Am I the asshole

20:07

for showing up at my ex's wedding in

20:09

a pretty dress? No,

20:13

you are not It's

20:17

funny because you know that their interpretation with

20:19

that I just showed it to the wedding in

20:21

a pretty dress That was it. That's it. The

20:23

fact that you know, there's more to it. Oh,

20:25

there's absolutely more but just from that You're not

20:28

an asshole. You did good girlie. My ex and

20:30

I had a peaceful divorce We

20:32

co-parent our three children together and there haven't

20:34

really been many issues. My ex is getting

20:37

married to Stephanie I like Stephanie. She has

20:39

been great with my kids and makes my

20:41

ex happy My ex invited me to

20:43

their wedding and I was happy for him It

20:45

was my day with the kids so it made sense

20:48

for me to come that was his reasoning When I

20:50

arrived at the wedding Stephanie thanked me for dropping the

20:52

kids off and brushed me off We

20:54

had never had any issues before I explained that

20:56

I was going to stay for the reception and

20:59

she was very upset I was

21:01

confused because I assumed she knew I would

21:03

be in attendance It turned out she didn't

21:05

consider that I would actually accept the invitation

21:08

I told her that I was invited and since I

21:10

took the two-hour drive, I would be staying for the

21:13

entire duration She didn't like this

21:15

response Stephanie asked me to leave

21:17

and I stood my ground She went

21:19

on to complain about my dress upstaging hers

21:21

My ex and former mother-in-law helped her to

21:23

calm down and the wedding shortly began I

21:26

thought that that was the end of it But later

21:28

in private Stephanie accused me of trying to ruin her

21:31

special day She is convinced that I wanted to show

21:33

off and make the wedding about my divorce She

21:35

said it was rude for me to not leave

21:37

after the bride requested it because it was her

21:39

special day I told her that I

21:42

am NOT responsible for her insecurities and once again

21:44

reminded her that I have no interest in stealing

21:46

my ex back Okay,

21:49

we have the dress Question

21:53

God I want you to open your eyes Okay,

21:56

we're just yeah, it is a great

21:59

dress It is nice. Oh my

22:01

god. Product name via Amazon.

22:03

Women's Sweetheart Full Lace Beach

22:06

Wedding Dress. Mermaid

22:08

Bridalgown. Oh, it

22:10

says Bridalgown in the description. She did get

22:12

a wedding dress. Oh, OK. It's red, but

22:14

it is a wedding dress. But you can

22:16

also wear it to the beach. But

22:19

it is a lace beach wedding dress.

22:22

Mermaid Bridalgown. Mermaid. Mermaid. I

22:25

don't know. I feel like they just put a bunch of

22:27

keywords in the topic. It's hard to know if it was.

22:29

Right, right. I got to be honest. This

22:31

is my thinking. If I

22:33

were, and it's different, I

22:35

guess, but sort of, if

22:38

I was going to an ex's wedding, I'm

22:41

not trying to fucking stand out.

22:43

Yeah, I am trying to wear.

22:45

I'm trying to be

22:48

there and just kind of like,

22:50

hey, I'm here. I

22:53

send me the link. I

22:57

feel like I would want to be a little

22:59

petty to my ex's wedding. But also, I would

23:01

never go to my ex's wedding. Yeah, no, I

23:03

would not. I would be kind of petty to go.

23:05

It would be petty. Well,

23:07

also this. If they sent her an invite,

23:10

she's allowed to accept it. Whenever

23:13

people go, oh, I wasn't expecting to accept the invitation.

23:15

Don't send the invite. That's some bullshit.

23:17

Yeah, I'm going to read your mind when it

23:19

came in the mail. Who are they going to

23:21

say, yes, especially a wedding where it's like this

23:23

weird pressure of like, well, if I say no, then

23:28

what's more disrespectful? If

23:30

she talked to her ex-husband about it

23:32

too, maybe he's the asshole for not

23:34

passing the information to his bride. Absolutely,

23:36

that's true. She should definitely not have

23:38

been like, wait, what you're staying? I

23:41

feel like some precursor could have

23:43

definitely saved a lot of time.

23:45

But I definitely think she's valid.

23:47

Yes, they share children. She got

23:49

an invitation. She drove two hours.

23:52

I have no issue with her. I

23:54

think her being there, she was invited. And

23:57

yes, they have kids, and she's there for the kids. I

24:00

think Stephanie's weird for saying, I wasn't

24:02

expecting you to accept the invitation. Now,

24:04

the dress is the... The dress of choice

24:06

was gold. The dress feels... I... It's

24:10

a statement. I think there

24:12

was a choice that was made here.

24:14

Yeah. I mean, it is a wedding

24:16

dress. It's just not white. If it's

24:19

white, that is blakey. Okay, yeah, no.

24:21

White, she's an apple. But it's also a wedding

24:23

dress. I will. You

24:25

don't, when you're going to a wedding of any sort,

24:27

you're not gonna look up wedding dress and wear a

24:29

wedding dress. No, no, but

24:31

you do look up wedding

24:33

guest dresses and sometimes bridal

24:36

gets thrown into the description.

24:39

I will also say, this is not...

24:41

I am not aware of this information. I don't know

24:43

much about weddings, but I

24:45

know apparently some of our

24:47

information here says, in... To

24:49

some, wearing red to

24:51

a wedding is sometimes considered disrespectful

24:54

as well. Oh, okay. Now, that

24:56

may not be the case in this situation.

24:58

But I will say, it's the

25:01

thing that I've always heard growing up is like, you

25:04

don't wanna try to like, wear

25:06

something huge and flashy. You're trying

25:08

to be there to... It is

25:10

their day. Right, like you

25:12

just have to dress formally to fit

25:14

the dress code. Like you dress

25:17

well to show respect for them,

25:19

but this dress is

25:22

pretty nice. Like I'm like, damn. Can

25:24

I say it again? Comments down below.

25:27

Let us know what you think. With Indian

25:29

weddings, like what I can say is like,

25:31

the bride is like, there's a lot more

25:34

to her than the dress. Like she's got

25:36

jewelry, she's got Mandy from head to toe.

25:38

Like she is all out. And personally for

25:40

my wedding, like I want all of my

25:43

friends to go all out. I want everybody

25:45

to dress like in Indian clothes as well.

25:48

I don't... I wouldn't think of

25:50

it as like an upstaging or whatever. But

25:52

then like when you bring in the whole like,

25:55

like I know white is so big for a

25:57

traditional American wedding. And if that

25:59

dress was white... Like I'm livid. I'm

26:01

on I'm on the bride side like

26:03

you cannot do that so

26:05

if that's the case in terms of like

26:09

The glam factor of this dress and it

26:11

really did upset the bride like It's

26:14

kind of hard to be upset at the

26:16

bride for for for feeling like that. It

26:19

is her special day I think the context

26:21

to have like this is his ex Who

26:24

has kids with like you

26:26

know like if you're some random person at the wedding

26:28

and you wear this it's like, okay Whatever,

26:31

right, but you know walking into

26:33

this wedding. Yeah that you are

26:36

So yeah, just not the not just the

26:38

ex but we have three children together and

26:40

we will always be connected in some way,

26:43

right? But I will say

26:45

the moment that the bride if I

26:47

were there if the moment the bride asked me to leave

26:50

Even if it was a two-hour drive, I would not

26:52

feel comfortable staying there anymore at that point Yeah,

26:54

I think I would have personally left even if

26:56

it was an uncomfortable two-hour drive home I

26:59

don't want to be somewhere where I don't I'm not welcome

27:01

totally totally no, I would go to like the

27:03

bar across the street I

27:06

don't want to be there anyway, I'm in a hot dress Yeah,

27:12

so the comments Look

27:15

at the comments very quickly Solidifies

27:18

my opinion on this. So someone asked

27:20

can you show us the dress which

27:22

means she didn't put that photo up immediately

27:25

She was trying to withhold that information and that's one of

27:27

those things where when people do that and read it post

27:29

I'm like you're the asshole. Yeah, you were

27:32

trying to get you were trying to

27:34

get public favor without giving us the

27:36

most important piece of information Yeah, you're

27:38

the asshole. You know, I did that

27:40

happens all the time. They are the

27:42

asshole Yeah, I would love a picture of

27:44

her to like her in the dress He

27:46

made people go to her profile to see the she gave

27:48

the referral link. So if they bought it So

27:56

that person who asked to see the dress they said

27:58

after seeing the dress you're the asshole That

28:00

dress is too much for a guest at a

28:02

wedding. Way too bright, and unless this was a

28:04

super elegant wedding, too much. I doubt it is

28:06

too elegant, as you said, barely any dress code

28:08

was given besides no white. Someone

28:11

else said, not the asshole. Personally, I think

28:13

you should have left, but I don't think

28:15

you're the asshole for wearing a pretty dress

28:17

and not leaving. Reason being, Stephanie had two

28:19

chances before her wedding day to address this.

28:21

First, she could have made sure you were

28:24

not sent an invite. Second, she could have

28:26

rescinded the invite once you RSVP'd. Yes. It's

28:28

her own fault for waiting until you showed

28:30

up to deal with this. She ruined her

28:32

own wedding day. Edit. I

28:35

just saw the picture of the dress. Hahahaha.

28:37

There's no way you didn't know that would

28:39

be too much for a wedding day. Especially

28:42

an ex. Are you kidding me? I was giving you

28:44

the benefit of the doubt, but now that I just

28:46

saw the picture of the dress, you're the asshole. You

28:48

absolutely knew what you were doing. Stop trying to pretend

28:50

like you didn't. Lastly, someone said,

28:52

you wore a red lace wedding dress.

28:55

I saw the Amazon link you posted. It's

28:57

literally a wedding dress just in red. You

28:59

knew what you were doing. The listing literally

29:01

says wedding dress. You're the asshole. Yeah, for

29:03

me, it's a little bit of a choice

29:05

of wealth. It's one

29:07

thing if you have a dress and it ends

29:10

up absolutely, but it says wedding dress. Right.

29:12

I feel like that's easy to be like, I should find

29:14

a different one. And you're so right

29:16

about the way that she put

29:18

it out there as incriminating her

29:20

further because the headline, I

29:22

wore a pretty dress. We

29:24

were like, you did nothing wrong early. And then you

29:26

pull out the dress and you're like, that's much more

29:29

than a pretty dress. That's a

29:31

full bridal gown. And it is, again,

29:34

the context of showing up to that, knowing

29:36

that your ex is the one getting married.

29:39

It was intentional. She left the dress

29:42

out intentionally. Like she knows that what

29:44

she did maybe wasn't the best thing.

29:47

And then she put it out there in

29:49

a coerced way of being like, guys, I

29:51

just wore a pretty dress. Like tell me

29:53

that this girl is crazy. And everyone was

29:55

like, oh, yeah, but let's see that dress.

29:58

Lame. Key. Factor

30:00

in all of it. It almost feels like it should

30:02

be a telltale sign if you are writing a thing

30:04

and then you're about to Say or like you think

30:06

that someone's gonna want some information, but you're like, hmm.

30:09

I probably shouldn't say that. Yeah Yeah,

30:11

I shouldn't show the picture. No, that's

30:13

the sign right there Cuz then you know that you

30:15

are the one in the wrong, but you're like, but I don't

30:17

want to seem that way Yeah, and so

30:19

often. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough But

30:22

it's you asshole. Let's move

30:25

on it comes from relationship advice But

30:27

this also ended up being posted on am I the

30:29

devil? Worst

30:32

place to end up. Oh, yeah, this

30:34

is am I the devil's where they

30:36

they gather up all the worst of

30:38

the worst The

30:41

32 year old man. I Asked

30:43

my wife who's 30 if we

30:45

could open the relationship She

30:48

agreed and I'm feeling upset because although

30:50

she's bisexual. She's only sleeping with men

30:54

Wait, sorry relationship

30:57

with me she'd sleep with women I

31:07

Think this is one of our we haven't read many

31:09

posts like this I see posts like this on reddit

31:11

all the time Oh, yeah of people being like yeah,

31:13

we opened up our relationship and now things are going

31:15

really bad like if you took it off another guy

31:17

if or it's what it is is that it's What

31:20

I've seen on reddit is the guy being like we

31:23

should open up our relationship and then like one post

31:25

later being like Okay, wait, we shouldn't do this Let's

31:30

see what this one is 32

31:33

year old man and my wife is 30 after five

31:35

years of marriage. I felt like she had given me

31:38

all she had to offer Well,

31:42

I want to leave I'm gonna get

31:44

out of here, you know, you know what? She

31:49

had nothing else to give me

31:51

easy is the devil I thought

31:53

her dry It was

31:55

worth I got everything she had to offer

32:00

I've seen a few more years of something

32:02

to offer me, but only five years. She

32:04

just lays there now. Now

32:06

please don't judge me for saying that.

32:09

Okay. He knows his asshole

32:11

when he says that. But at least he's not

32:13

holding back. He's gonna get you out there.

32:15

All right, I'm with him. I'm just being honest. No, of

32:18

course. She just had a very low

32:20

sex drive and I have a higher one. I

32:22

figured opening the relationship would help out marriage

32:24

and help me get my needs met. I

32:27

only said no, but after I explained to

32:29

her the benefits, she said yes after a

32:32

few days of asking. We seem both excited

32:34

at the possibility of a threesome. Now where

32:36

the problem lies is that my wife is

32:38

bisexual and yet the only people she's been

32:40

sleeping with have been men. When

32:43

asked about this, she said she only sleeps with

32:45

people she clicks with and they just happen to

32:47

be men. When I told her

32:49

my feelings about this, she said it's only fair because

32:52

I'm sleeping with other women. While true,

32:54

it makes me wonder if she's truly

32:56

bisexual. Now

32:58

he's questioning her sexuality? When

33:02

I asked for her to also sleep with

33:04

women or I'd want to close the marriage

33:06

again. Hey babe, I have a question. Sleep

33:08

with other women, please. My

33:11

babe, please. Or I'd want to close the

33:13

marriage again. She rolled her eyes and said

33:15

no. One of the guys I

33:17

fear is trying to seriously date her. He

33:19

brings her flowers and food, pays for her

33:21

nails and never even acknowledges me when he's

33:23

over. I feel like she's dismissing my feelings and

33:25

I'm getting frustrated. I want to close our marriage

33:28

again. How do I approach this? Damn it, this

33:30

guy's treating her better than me. Yeah,

33:32

literally. I was treating her like shit because I

33:34

was done with her. She had nothing else to offer me and

33:37

I always see that she's worth something. This

33:39

is so messed up. This

33:42

is the problem is that I

33:45

don't think there's anything wrong. I

33:48

personally know I wouldn't be able to

33:50

ever do it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with people opening

33:52

up their marriage. I think what people want to do is

33:54

fine. But when people do

33:56

it as a means of fixing something in

33:58

their relationship, they're like I

34:01

think that's wrong. And I think anytime,

34:03

if people are in a relationship and they're even considering

34:06

this, there are therapists who, there are

34:08

sex therapists though who you can talk to and

34:10

be like, we're thinking of this. And they can

34:12

be like, let's make sure this is

34:14

what you both really want. And

34:16

there's layers to it. And.

34:19

It sounds like you had an expectation for the way

34:22

things would go with her and who she would date

34:24

and what it would mean. It sounds like he had

34:26

a fantasy. He had a fantasy and he was trying

34:28

to find a way. The boundaries were discussed. And he's

34:30

trying too to be like, I wanted to get,

34:32

I wanted to help my needs get met. Like,

34:34

no, you wanted your dick to get wet. You

34:38

wanted these two women in front

34:40

of you. You wanted a threesome with two women.

34:42

And now it's not working out. And he's like,

34:44

fuck, now this other guy's better at being a

34:46

boyfriend than I am a husband. Yeah.

34:49

It's not good at all. And it's, and

34:51

frankly, and I'm reading into this, but

34:53

it sounds like she didn't have a low

34:55

sex drive. It sounds like they weren't fostering

34:58

their relationship and connection. So she wasn't into

35:00

it. And he, here he is saying, she's

35:03

given me all she's had to offer.

35:05

It's like, no wonder she's not attracted

35:07

to you. True. Like, that's your mindset.

35:09

Sounds like she's attracted to people

35:11

that she clicks with. She said that. And

35:13

they just were not clicking. And it sounds

35:15

like this man who felt like this woman

35:18

was worthless to him at this point, was

35:20

not showing her that she had the value

35:22

to him that maybe he was showing her

35:25

in the beginning of the relationship and maybe

35:27

they clicked better. Maybe their sex

35:30

life was better in the beginning. Right, right. He

35:32

jumped to a solution, which is what

35:34

he thought was opening up the relationship

35:36

when it literally could have been communicating,

35:39

seeing a therapist, going to

35:41

some couples counseling, actually

35:43

coming up with what would be better instead

35:45

of just being like, oh, well wait, maybe

35:47

if she sleeps with other women, then she'll

35:49

feel more enlightened and sexy and then she

35:51

can offer me more again. At

35:54

no point did he mention her

35:56

needs. Right. It's entirely

35:58

about his needs. Now that

36:01

they've opened up the relationship. She's now

36:03

getting her needs met and he's upset right

36:05

about that It's like clearly she doesn't have

36:07

a low sex drive. She doesn't want to have sex

36:09

with you. Yeah It's because he

36:11

obviously didn't treat her as if

36:14

she had value anymore. Even the way he discusses

36:16

her She had nothing else to

36:18

offer. Yeah Her

36:20

only it seems like her only worth to him

36:22

is sex is based on

36:25

description here. No short post, but

36:28

uh Let's read some comments here.

36:30

Please Maybe you were the reason

36:32

she had a low sex drive and now she

36:34

found someone else who finds her exciting You opened

36:37

the marriage you have to deal with the consequences

36:39

There are many threads on reddit where one wants

36:41

to open the marriage and the other finds a

36:43

better partner Maybe that is what is happening with

36:45

her Yeah, that's true.

36:48

That's the truth. Someone said lol. I

36:51

too am rolling my eyes at you You made

36:53

this bed now lie in it. Someone

36:55

else said cool The reality didn't live up

36:57

live up to your fantasy lesson learned. You

36:59

can't dictate who your wife sleeps with that's

37:02

gross Also as a woman sleeping

37:04

with men is easy and accessible It's much

37:06

harder to find women who are open to

37:08

hooking up with bi partnered women Hmm and

37:11

then lastly someone said well That's way too

37:13

many words to justify cheating on your wife

37:16

and hoping you would get a threesome with

37:18

some hot women as an additional Bonus for

37:20

being a cheating clown. Well, there's no way

37:22

your hopeless ass had no one ready and

37:24

on the standby before the Spathetic attempt to

37:27

open your marriage the way you wanted lol.

37:29

What a heartwarming story. Tell your wife. She's

37:31

a rock star Yeah Yep.

37:34

Well, yeah, I mean,

37:36

I don't know if he cheated cuz he did but

37:39

although he did pester her until she said yes It

37:41

seems that the case. Yeah Yeah,

37:43

oh it also he's like I want to open it

37:45

now And it's like then he wants

37:47

to open it then it just seems like he wants it to all be

37:50

Whatever will meet his needs in a very specific time

37:52

right now ever considering her and I think that's what

37:55

the issue is at the root Yeah, he's like

37:57

you'll you'll catch up if I want to open it if

37:59

I want to close it you'll just be on board because

38:01

it's what I say, right? Yeah. So

38:03

I think he wants to just be able to say

38:05

whatever he wants to happen and that will happen without

38:07

him putting in the effort of the work in order

38:09

for him to actually see the results that he wants.

38:12

He's given up on her. He could be

38:14

working harder to show her that he's a good partner,

38:17

that he cares about her. Maybe

38:19

she would actually find him attractive again. You know who else

38:21

does that? The devil. This

38:23

guy is a devil. This guy is not just a devil.

38:25

He is a devil. I would also say he's just really stupid. Yeah.

38:28

He's very emotionally immature. He's not there. I

38:30

think he has not done work

38:33

on himself. I think he has not ever

38:35

maybe spoken about where these feelings are coming

38:37

from. It seems like he hasn't even tried

38:39

to communicate with his wife about

38:42

these feelings. Yeah. It seems like he

38:44

just came up with an assumption of like, oh, well, she doesn't have anything

38:46

else to offer me anymore, instead of discussing why

38:48

the relationship has become stagnant. All

38:50

right. Next story here. Oh,

38:54

this is a never a good sign. Stop

38:56

reading ahead. That's how you started the last one.

38:58

No, I didn't see the title. I

39:02

was just like, this also ended up on Am

39:04

I the Devil? So let's see if this beats.

39:06

Oh, boy. I'm an open marriage man. Am

39:09

I the devil for making my ex, in

39:12

quotations, homeless? Okay.

39:18

I'm trying to think of a way that that's justified.

39:20

They both own a house together and they moved out

39:22

and she didn't have as much money or something. Where

39:26

does this go? Okay. So

39:28

if this reading this title out loud, the

39:30

way it's written is Am I the asshole

39:32

for making my ex homeless? A

39:36

while back, my wife and I got

39:38

divorced pretty amicably. Instead of selling

39:40

our family home and splitting the money, I suggested

39:42

that I take a loan using the house as

39:44

collateral and buy myself another place. That

39:46

way she could continue to live there and our kids

39:48

would inherit it eventually. She was reluctant,

39:50

but eventually I convinced her. She's always

39:53

been like that. Her reluctance to taking any

39:55

chances has held me back many times. Anyway,

39:57

this was a good plan and it worked

39:59

for a while. Eventually, however, I

40:01

ran into money trouble. Everything

40:03

was more expensive than I thought. The fixer-upper I

40:05

bought needed a lot of renovation, and I got

40:07

deeper in debt. I kept paying the bank, just

40:10

not every month, sometimes less than the full amount

40:12

due for the month, etc. Eventually,

40:14

the bank foreclosed, and the house was sold

40:16

to repay the debt. It was a shock

40:18

to everyone. The bank had sent some threatening

40:20

letters, but as I was still paying, I

40:22

didn't think they'd go that far. Anyway,

40:25

my ex moved in with our youngest son.

40:27

She is doing fine and is not in

40:29

any way homeless, but she keeps complaining about

40:31

losing the house and my kids have gone

40:33

low contact with me. They all go out

40:36

of their way to help their mom, while

40:38

I only get scraps every now and then,

40:40

even though I also needed help sometimes since

40:42

then. I know I made a mistake,

40:44

but it's not like I planned it like this.

40:46

I lost a lot too, and even though I

40:48

have the house that I bought back then, it's

40:50

nothing fancy and it's expensive to maintain. Besides, my

40:52

ex got to live alone in the house for

40:54

a couple of years rent-free. Last

40:56

time we met, I told my kids they should

40:59

show more gratitude for my part in raising them,

41:01

and they should think that they have two parents,

41:03

not just one. They're all doing pretty well financially.

41:05

They said I'm an asshole for demanding anything of

41:08

them after what I did to their mom. They

41:10

said I should give her some money every month

41:12

to compensate for some of the loss. While

41:15

I do earn more than her, I have expenses

41:17

too, and it's not like she needs it really.

41:19

She's living rent-free and our son is pretty well

41:21

off, so he won't be kicking her out. I

41:23

admit that my plan didn't work out and it

41:25

caused her some loss, but am I really such an

41:27

asshole for expecting my kids to help me too? Like

41:30

they helped my ex? Oh

41:32

boy. That is a

41:35

lot to unpack. It is a lot to unpack.

41:37

I am, I don't know

41:40

if it's a bias or just from reading

41:42

a lot of these Reddit stories, whenever it's

41:44

a parent and at any

41:46

point they talk about their kids being low

41:48

or no contact, I immediately am just kind

41:50

of like, well you're probably the asshole. Like,

41:53

it takes a lot for multiple kids to

41:55

all be like, we don't want to deal

41:57

with you. He was like, this was a

41:59

good time. plan. She was reluctant. She's always reluctant.

42:01

But this was a good plan and it worked

42:04

for a while until it didn't. Yeah. And he

42:06

had to pester her and pester her until she

42:08

finally said yes. And I think that's a thing.

42:10

That's probably what she's been holding onto this whole

42:12

time is how she's like, I knew this wasn't

42:15

a good decision and you essentially

42:17

forced me to say okay to it.

42:19

Yeah. I'm not, I'm not

42:22

some financial genius, but suggesting

42:25

that I take a loan using the

42:27

house is collateral and by myself another

42:29

place. That's

42:32

the nature of that is a

42:34

huge risk. Yeah. Huge risk. And

42:37

then it's like, oh, I ended up in money

42:39

troubles. It's like, well, yeah, like you, that's the

42:41

actual risk that you knew could happen. Totally. And

42:43

it seems like she was aware that it could

42:46

happen too. I feel bad for her. Yeah.

42:49

My, my problem with this guy is

42:51

that he, he came up with this

42:53

plan and when it inevitably

42:55

failed, he's like, well, but it was

42:57

good enough for a while. And he's

43:00

like writing off of that. Like you lived

43:02

rent free for multiple years. Yeah. He's like,

43:04

it failed, but it took time for it

43:06

to fail. And in that time that wasn't,

43:08

it hadn't failed yet. You got to live

43:10

in that house rent free. And

43:12

now that it failed and he is still living

43:15

in his own place. He's like, well, you

43:17

guys are doing fine. Like you,

43:19

you had everything that I gave you

43:21

and now you should help me out.

43:23

And it's like, oh, you made a

43:25

huge mistake and you're not taking any

43:28

accountability. I'm sure that the ex and

43:30

the kids would be able to hear

43:32

him out if he was like, huge

43:34

mistake. Like let's, let's maybe have my

43:36

place as where we both co-exist permit,

43:39

like trying to come up with some

43:41

sort of troubleshooting. Instead he justified

43:43

every moment of it. Yeah. And

43:45

he's just like, well, I'm going through it. I

43:47

need some help. And you're not offering anything else.

43:50

And I have, I have

43:52

some theories, you know, he said, eventually the bank foreclosed

43:54

on the house. He was

43:56

like, it was a shock to everyone. The bank

43:58

had sent me some threatening letters. but as I

44:00

was still paying, I didn't think they'd go that far. I

44:03

think it was either

44:05

not a shock to everyone, or it was a

44:07

shock to everyone because he wasn't relaying

44:10

this information. You're getting threatening letters from

44:12

the bank? Like, dude.

44:15

He just brushes it off. He's like, he's like, I didn't think

44:17

it was that serious. It's just, come on. It's

44:19

a bank? It's a bank who owns that. It's a bank who

44:21

owns that. If the bank sends me a threatening

44:23

letter, I'm crying. Like, that's scary. Yeah, you

44:25

are in debt to the bank. You are in

44:27

debt to someone, whether or not it's

44:29

a bank. And that person, the bank, is saying, we're going

44:31

to take this away from you. Oh, I think I'm all

44:34

right for this. The first thing you do is tell

44:36

your mom. He's got to tell his wife

44:38

or his ex this situation. He has to

44:40

communicate what's going on. And it really frustrates

44:42

me that he was like, oh, my youngest

44:44

son is well off. He's not going to

44:46

kick his mom out. Obviously,

44:48

he's not going to kick his mom out, but

44:50

that doesn't mean that's the ideal situation to be

44:53

living his life. To support his mother

44:55

and have his mother living with him

44:57

because his dad took a huge risk,

44:59

lost their house that

45:02

they grew up in. And the dad,

45:04

this guy still has his other place. He

45:06

still has it. He didn't give it up. And he's

45:08

like, it's not that luxurious. It's

45:10

just a shitty little house. It's a

45:13

home. It's a home with a

45:15

roof, and the ex does not have one. She

45:17

doesn't. Yeah. It's so shitty. Comments

45:20

here. I bet money this

45:22

wasn't the first promise he didn't keep. Someone

45:26

else said, LOL, wife always held you back,

45:28

huh? But when

45:30

you go solo, you fail so

45:32

spectacularly that you lose both houses.

45:34

And whatever goodwill remained with your

45:36

family, yep, you're the asshole. Love

45:38

the passive voice on why you

45:40

failed with the renovation. Everything was

45:42

more expensive, not I didn't do

45:44

my research or have an actual

45:46

feasible plan. Someone

45:49

else said, you're the asshole. Foreclosure is not something

45:51

that happens overnight. You 100% knew

45:53

it was coming and didn't tell her. That's

45:55

what I believe. Lastly,

45:58

someone said, you're the asshole. The house

46:00

should have been sold instead of you taking a

46:02

loan using the house as collateral. Your inability to

46:05

pay the loan causes foreclosure of the house causing

46:07

your ex and youngest to move. Did you even

46:09

give her any of the money from the sale

46:11

of the house? Finally, your

46:13

kids don't owe you anything. Clearly

46:15

they can see that your mess-up

46:17

screwed their mom over. Damn. Yeah,

46:19

no heat. And that little jab he made

46:22

too at the beginning, like she's always holding the

46:24

loan. Oh, I hate that. Or she's always

46:26

reluctant. Like, okay, you're angry. And you

46:28

clearly executed that inside of your plan

46:30

too. Yeah. And then he demands respect

46:32

from his children instead of earning it. Right.

46:35

Just like, you need to respect me

46:37

after screwing everyone up. Yeah. Yeah. Yay,

46:39

come on. He's being like, you have two

46:41

parents, you know that. And he's like, no, they're not

46:43

just supporting her because she's a parent, but

46:47

because she has clearly gone through it with

46:49

you. He's acting like his decision's

46:51

only affected, it's bad enough, but he's

46:53

acting like it only affected his wife.

46:55

But it affected everyone in the family.

46:58

Yeah. Eventually, however,

47:00

I ran into money trouble. Care

47:04

to explain? The money trouble found me? That

47:06

was just my own business. That feels like

47:08

the red wedding dress in this world, where

47:10

I'm like, what's the money trouble, dude? Yeah.

47:12

What is it? What happened? It's not gambling

47:15

or drugs. Yeah. I'm kind of like, come

47:17

on, dude. Tell us what happened. Yeah. He

47:19

knew. He knew. I'm hoping. Just like she knew.

47:22

They knew. He didn't have

47:24

a plan for the renovations at all or an

47:26

estimate that he stuck

47:29

to. He

47:31

just kept doing whatever happened. Yeah. I

47:33

just kept paying the bills to the bank. He's like,

47:36

I'm giving them a few hundred. They don't mean what

47:38

they're saying in these letters. Yeah. They're just bluffing.

47:40

I threw the bank some scraps. They

47:42

should be fine with that. I am someone

47:45

who's terrified of banks, IRS,

47:47

any government stuff. I

47:50

know sometimes people get away with it. They

47:54

skim by and they're like, OK, they're not

47:56

going to foreclose it. I'm paying just enough

47:58

or I'm late. But it's okay. Look

48:01

man. Thanks. Don't give a

48:03

shit I

48:06

feel like this guy is used to like skipping

48:09

out on taxes this year skipping jury Do you

48:11

like he's like it's not really that serious. Yeah,

48:13

no the bank will ruin your life And

48:16

it sounds like he still literally does did not learn

48:18

his lesson. He's like, well, at least we were good

48:21

for a while Yeah, like well lesson

48:23

learned shouldn't have done that. Yeah, he's not

48:25

acting like he learned a single lesson throughout

48:27

this entire thing He's not even himself. Yeah,

48:29

he's not and he's not acting like any

48:31

of it was his decision that caused this

48:33

issue He's like he's like the renovations were

48:36

more expensive Yeah, money troubles the bank was

48:38

coming after me is always external factory right

48:40

nothing He's not taking ownership of

48:42

nothing. I'm like, I should have done this. I should have

48:44

listened to the letter Nothing

48:46

learned. No. Yeah, and he's saying like it was a good

48:48

plan. I'm like, I don't think it was a good plan

48:52

You know, who else does that the devil the

48:55

devil the devil? Hmm Moving

48:58

on Am

49:00

I the asshole for leaving sexually explicit

49:02

messages where my colleague could see them?

49:06

This is gonna be funny cuz we all of

49:08

us at small just had to take the

49:10

sexual harassment training course Yeah, like the online

49:12

course. I think this is literally one of

49:15

the examples Yeah, pretty sure like these these

49:17

two guys like oops I accidentally left this

49:19

message here in front of my colleague and

49:21

it's like that is a no-no And

49:23

it's like that person looks to the camera and they're like, what

49:25

do I do? I

49:28

would I would kill to be an actor in one of those

49:36

I did it for I did it for

49:38

like inside of high schools Like if students

49:40

are asking teachers like I can't afford my

49:42

textbooks. Could you help me out? Oh And

49:46

then the professor would be like, what do

49:48

I do? So this is something they show

49:50

to the professor to say like this might

49:52

happen to you. Yeah. Yeah I definitely

49:54

have the footage you guys willing to

49:56

share that's crazy. Oh, it's insane. Am

49:58

I the asshole for? leaving sexually

50:00

explicit messages where my colleague could see

50:03

them. I, a 35

50:05

year old woman, am a teacher at an

50:07

alternative school where each class has two teachers.

50:10

My co-teacher, who's 34, is very in your

50:12

face, in your business, and doesn't understand boundaries

50:14

very well. She is always looking over my

50:16

shoulder. She will straight up yank my laptop

50:18

away from me and look at what I'm

50:20

typing. If my phone goes off, she goes,

50:22

ooh, who is that? And things of that

50:24

nature. I've gently tried to explain to her

50:26

that I don't want her touching my stuff

50:28

like that. She'll say stuff like, oh, well,

50:30

I'm an open book. It's no big deal.

50:33

When I've explained less gently to her, she

50:35

borderline cries and gets into an anxiety loop

50:37

where she accuses me of being mean and

50:39

or mad at her. I'm currently in a

50:41

long distance relationship and my boyfriend and I

50:43

rely a lot on sexting

50:45

to keep our relationship fun. He's

50:47

in a different time zone, so the things

50:50

I send him at night won't get responses

50:52

until the next morning sometimes. Today I noticed

50:54

he was sending me texts responses to photos

50:56

I had taken last night about what they

50:58

made him want to do with me. I

51:01

want to point out quickly that there were no kids

51:03

in this room at this time and even

51:05

if one had wandered in, they're too short

51:07

to get my phone and too young to

51:10

read. I decided to leave my

51:12

phone on a tall standing desk by my own

51:14

laptop while going to get a cup of coffee,

51:16

knowing my co-teacher would probably look at it. When

51:18

I got back, my co-teacher told me in a

51:20

very serious voice that I need to be careful

51:23

about what I am doing at work because she

51:25

saw my disgusting and inappropriate text. I

51:27

told her she wouldn't have seen them if

51:29

she hadn't been looking for them and she

51:31

said that wasn't the point, that she felt

51:33

sexually harassed but wouldn't go to HR about

51:35

it because the children wouldn't be able to

51:38

handle a change in teachers. Wow!

51:42

I am actually curious about just

51:45

legally and HR wise. The interpretation

51:47

of that. Because

51:50

we've had stories like this before. I

51:52

think anyone who is invasive in this

51:54

way is an asshole. You're an asshole.

51:58

Whether an HR person would say that what she... did was

52:00

wrong, whether she... But I

52:02

also am like, I never

52:04

see what's on anyone's phone. Ever.

52:10

I do view that on my personal

52:12

level. I do view that as almost

52:14

like what's going on in

52:16

your head. I'm like, that's your own private

52:18

space. I'm not going to see that,

52:20

so I don't really care. So I don't

52:23

know where I stand on this because

52:25

I ultimately just think

52:30

this person sounds annoying as fuck. Oh

52:32

yeah. Oh yeah. Who is it?

52:35

Sure, if you're like one

52:37

of my best friends and my phone goes

52:39

off, I'm going to tell you. Not at work. Even if

52:41

you're your best friend at work, you're not doing that. Totally. No,

52:43

that's like when you're hanging out, somebody's phone's going

52:45

off, you might be like, who's calling? But I

52:48

agree. People's business are their own business.

52:50

You have really no right... I love

52:53

what you said. It's their head. It's

52:55

their thoughts that they're typing out to

52:57

other people, particularly the two in

52:59

this relationship. That is 100% between

53:01

the two of them and should not be peaked at. 100% the

53:04

person who is being invasive is the asshole. But I do

53:06

want to mention that you

53:11

can make it so... You can choose a setting on

53:13

your phone so that the contents

53:15

of a text is not automatically

53:17

displayed in the notification. Yeah.

53:20

I'm curious. I decided to leave my phone on

53:22

a tall standing desk by my own laptop while

53:24

going to get coffee, knowing my

53:26

co-teacher would probably look at it. That's the

53:28

weird detail. We've had stories like this, and

53:31

I know a lot of people disagree with

53:33

me on it, and I think

53:35

that's okay, because I do think this person's an asshole.

53:37

I think you're an asshole if you're invasive in any

53:39

sort of way. But it's the

53:41

matter of purposefully knowing

53:44

in your head they're about to see this, and you

53:46

want them to see it. Do you think that's what

53:48

it was? She wanted it? Knowing

53:51

my co-teacher would probably look at it. She said that.

53:53

She even really didn't think. I love

53:55

it there. Knowing my co-teacher. Now, I

53:57

can't relate to that because I just wouldn't want anyone to see

53:59

it. Especially if I don't know what

54:01

my like a significant other is gonna say

54:04

you're like fuck There

54:06

is also something of like you're on work

54:08

time And

54:10

you teach kids now there were no kids in the room

54:13

But it's like you don't know what your

54:15

partner might send like with your you know

54:17

He's sending pictures the partner might send a

54:20

picture pictures last night But

54:22

he might send a picture back in the morning Like

54:25

if he sends a dick pic And

54:27

a kid sees it yeah, you are probably

54:30

fine. You don't need to read to see

54:32

that I would for my take on that

54:34

it's just like I'm like I'm not gonna

54:36

risk that yeah Yeah, I'm gonna keep my

54:38

phone very close to me I'm saying that

54:40

I'm concerned about especially if I have this

54:43

invasive co-worker I kind of feel like I

54:45

am never leaving my shit out definitely definitely

54:48

But I would absolutely I mean I think

54:50

she should she could have complained to higher-ups

54:52

of like hey They are consistently

54:54

grabbing my devices grabbing my phone looking

54:56

at my stuff. Yeah, my privacy is

54:58

being invaded yeah It

55:01

is funny that she threatened the HR thing

55:03

when she could have had

55:05

HR called on her this entire time certainly

55:08

The verdict was everyone sucks Okay,

55:12

I see it. I see it someone said

55:14

everyone sucks here She shouldn't have been

55:16

snooping but come on don't sex during

55:18

work time Opie responded. I

55:21

don't sex at work my boyfriend responded

55:23

to texts I had sent the night

55:25

before and I let the previews stay

55:27

on the phone while I grabbed a cup of coffee

55:29

Why did she I usually just keep my phone away

55:31

and don't respond until I'm home in the evening 727

55:34

upvotes Someone

55:37

else said what if her boss walked in and happened

55:39

to glance at the phone screen lighting up with a

55:41

new message and saw Inappropriate content on a phone lying

55:43

about some of us have just that

55:45

luck not to mention Opie should know better

55:48

than to underestimate kids ability to get places.

55:50

They shouldn't be to grab things. They shouldn't

55:52

have Opie said kids

55:55

are pre-k. They were at recess and

55:57

couldn't come back without an adult escort

55:59

walking them past the break room where I

56:01

was getting coffee. Standing desk is at the

56:04

back corner of the room. I had my

56:06

phone between my laptop and the wall. The

56:08

only way for her to see the text

56:10

is to walk to the back corner, lean

56:12

over my laptop, and tap the screen to

56:14

see previews. I was gone for a maximum

56:16

of five minutes. 41 down votes, but

56:18

I mean like if it was truly

56:21

like that secure and she had to

56:23

tap it to look at it, I mean

56:26

I would hate someone who's doing that. Yeah.

56:29

I would hate them. No, definitely she should

56:31

have reported the invasive person and that

56:33

could have all been avoided. I think

56:38

the verdict makes sense. Everyone sucks, but I

56:40

don't think that the person who, again,

56:43

like she said, she wasn't sexting at work. She

56:45

was just like, I'm not even going to respond to this because

56:48

I'm at work. I'm with these kids. Like she

56:50

left it there. It's a good question of I'm

56:53

so I have so many questions of

56:55

like, are you responsible for texts you

56:57

receive? Like if you

56:59

didn't send anything inappropriate, but someone happens

57:02

to send you something inappropriate and your

57:04

phone is out, is

57:06

that your responsibility? I'm

57:08

genuinely I feel like it wouldn't be your

57:10

responsibility, but in this case it is her

57:13

responsibility because this is a habit and routine.

57:15

This is something she sounds like she knew

57:17

this was happening and it sounds like it

57:20

was a conscious decision to leave the previews

57:22

on the phone. Yeah, it's

57:24

something I am conflicted about and

57:27

I'm so curious what our comments will say. Well,

57:30

here's what I'll also say with

57:32

HR getting involved. She would have

57:35

a much stronger case if this

57:37

wasn't a habit or a pattern.

57:39

I just am confident that that HR person

57:42

would be like, has this happened before where

57:44

she touches your phone? And the answer

57:46

will be like, oh yeah, she does it all the time. And it's

57:48

like, okay, well, why didn't you report that? Like

57:51

that is a huge privacy matter that could

57:53

have been avoided this whole situation. So

57:56

what last comment here is it's not so much about

57:58

whether you're an asshole or not, but Rather

58:00

whether you'd be willing to lose your job just

58:02

to be shocking to this woman Probably not a

58:04

smart smart move career wise. I think that's what

58:06

I agree with Yeah, most

58:08

of all. I'm like you purposefully left previews.

58:10

I was trying to be shocking word Trying

58:13

to show this to him And I'm like that's

58:15

where I get it because I I know that

58:17

that would cross my mind too if I was

58:19

dealing with an Invasive person where I'd be like

58:21

well, I'm gonna make him fucking pay. Yeah, but

58:23

I also am like You're

58:25

risking a lot for that for that

58:28

catharsis I feel like there's something unspoken

58:30

here because I want to know why is

58:32

she trying to have her see This

58:34

if it was just a little funny prank I might

58:36

put I might have my partner

58:38

text me something that was about that

58:40

person as a joke or something But

58:43

it was just random little Well,

58:46

let's see cuz oh We

58:50

need this update So I

58:52

decided to take everyone's advice and went to

58:54

HR about my colleagues snooping and they determined

58:56

she is in the wrong for snooping And

58:58

then I hadn't done anything wrong since great

59:00

I don't send any non work related texts

59:02

at work unless it's my lunch break and

59:04

I never text my boyfriend from work Which

59:07

is backed up by CCTV Keep

59:09

my phone in my work apron whenever kids

59:12

might be around my co-teacher has hers out

59:14

often So I usually know when we're getting

59:16

work related messages because she sees them first

59:18

and is incapable of not commenting on them

59:21

verbally I had put my

59:23

phone in a discreet corner of the room in

59:25

the back at my desk between my laptop and

59:27

the wall My colleague had walked to the back

59:29

of the room as soon as the door shut

59:31

behind me leaned across my laptop and tapped the

59:34

screen to view text previews after my screen had

59:36

gone dark and Picked up my phone to look

59:38

at them, which was on CCTV. Oh You

59:44

can't absolutely insane a

59:46

few other clarifications I have text previews on

59:48

and image previews off pictures just show up

59:51

as the word image in my preview The

59:53

reason I have text previews turned on is that my

59:55

job uses the same messaging app as my boyfriend And

59:57

when you're working with kids, it's good to be able

59:59

to see what's going on immediately rather than

1:00:01

logging in and slogging through a dozen texts.

1:00:04

Parents also text through the work group chat and

1:00:07

I don't reply outside of designated hours and they

1:00:09

hate being left on red so it's great to

1:00:11

know when it's explained in detail why my Johnny

1:00:13

in the green group and not in, not the

1:00:16

gold group versus by the way Johnny will die

1:00:18

if he eats peanuts and I forgot to tell

1:00:20

you and it's ants on a log day, LMAO.

1:00:24

When my boyfriend texts me during work hours I usually

1:00:26

immediately clear the previews out and I don't open our

1:00:28

chat until I'm in my car after work. If

1:00:31

there is a way to turn off text previews

1:00:33

for one person and not another in this app,

1:00:36

I don't know it. On this day, the kids

1:00:38

had just been dismissed to music class and lunch

1:00:40

for the next hour and some. They

1:00:42

are three to four years old and can't come back to

1:00:44

the room without an adult escorting them. And

1:00:47

if this had happened for a wildly unusual reason, they

1:00:49

would have been escorted past the break room where I

1:00:51

was. Then if a kid had somehow

1:00:53

gotten to my standing desk and gotten a hold of

1:00:55

my phone after pushing a chair toward it and climbing

1:00:57

up to get my phone unnoticed, they would not know

1:00:59

how to read. That's a lot of

1:01:01

what ifs to happen in the time it took me

1:01:03

to use the Keurig. Four,

1:01:06

there was no reason for anyone to be at my

1:01:08

desk. It's in the back of the room and just

1:01:10

has my stuff on it. My phone was only visible

1:01:12

to someone who was looking for it and who would

1:01:14

have to tap the screen and pick up the phone

1:01:16

to look at the previews. So that's it. Was

1:01:19

it petty and risky for me to do what I

1:01:21

did? For sure. Should I have

1:01:24

complained to HR on my own sooner? Yes, I

1:01:26

wouldn't recommend it. But it's

1:01:28

done and hopefully snooping is now over.

1:01:31

Yeah, some context here too. Even though she's using

1:01:34

her phone for work, if her job is not

1:01:36

paying for her cell phone bill or providing a

1:01:38

separate work phone, they likely cannot police what content

1:01:40

is on her phone. Interesting.

1:01:44

Oh. Yeah, knowing that this

1:01:46

woman walked up, like grabbed

1:01:49

her phone, like tapping

1:01:51

someone else's phone, insane. Yeah.

1:01:53

I was just thinking. Imagine literally

1:01:56

anybody in the room, you walking in and

1:01:58

them being on your phone. You

1:02:00

would immediately be like, what are you doing? Yeah.

1:02:02

That's inappropriate. No, it's absolutely insane. I

1:02:04

think it's insane, no matter who

1:02:06

it is, like significant others, anyone.

1:02:08

I'm like, to tap someone's phone, like I said,

1:02:10

I view that as part of a person. So

1:02:13

I'm like, dude. Yeah. That's

1:02:15

incredible. Protocol is usually somebody's phone.

1:02:18

Who's is this? I'm not looking at it. I'm not even

1:02:20

going to touch it. And that says

1:02:22

a lot about where we are, though. If

1:02:24

your phone is a part of you, like your

1:02:26

brain. I know. That's for sure. But

1:02:29

I just feel like it's part of your private

1:02:31

life. I mean, it's true. Everything is housed there.

1:02:33

It's no different than looking through someone's email inbox

1:02:35

or looking through. It's

1:02:37

like looking through someone's face in their house. It

1:02:40

is the same. And I'm like. Or like digging

1:02:42

around in their room. Yeah. It's

1:02:44

stuff that they have written out.

1:02:46

It's stuff that their thoughts are out

1:02:48

there. It's more just that

1:02:50

you are putting things down on your

1:02:52

phone that you aren't expecting other people

1:02:54

to see. That is

1:02:56

the big thing, is that you feel safe.

1:02:58

And private in your phone. You feel safe

1:03:01

texting another person, hoping that it's just you

1:03:03

and them speaking. This person's a fucking

1:03:05

weirdo. Straight up. I

1:03:07

mean, and to your response, the response of like

1:03:09

to get anxious and like sad or whatever. I'm

1:03:11

like, well, you're making this person anxious by invading

1:03:14

their space. Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't like it

1:03:16

at all. She needs some more drama in her

1:03:18

own life. Yeah. That is what she's looking for.

1:03:20

I will say it is weird how the poster

1:03:22

is like, yeah, it was Petty. It

1:03:25

feels like there's something else there. What was Petty about

1:03:27

it to the poster? Was it that she was like

1:03:31

fishing for a reaction?

1:03:34

She was looking for a cathartic. She wanted to

1:03:36

shock her. She wanted to make

1:03:38

her feel bad about snooping. And

1:03:41

that's not the we've had stories like that

1:03:43

before. And I get it. I get that

1:03:45

like, well, they're not going to stop

1:03:47

doing it. But I want to make them. But especially in

1:03:49

a work setting, you should go

1:03:52

about it professionally. Yeah. Because seeking out that

1:03:54

revenge, you might sacrifice your job in the

1:03:56

process. Right. And she admits she could have

1:03:58

gone to HR sooner. Instead she took

1:04:00

the route of I'm gonna shock them because

1:04:03

it's not what she knew the what what

1:04:05

Messages were gonna show up what messages she

1:04:07

would see it almost seems like it

1:04:10

seems a little planned out but I I

1:04:13

Am fully in forgiveness of her because it sounds

1:04:15

like she is holding responsibility for all of it

1:04:17

Yeah, it's also wild that this all happened

1:04:19

with when they have CCTV. I'm like, right

1:04:21

there. You're saying she's grabbing your devices It's

1:04:23

on camera. They could go back through all

1:04:25

the CCTV All the

1:04:27

time this woman's grabbing her yeah I'm

1:04:31

imagining it too and the desk is just in

1:04:33

this corner And if she's saying like it's between

1:04:35

her laptop and the wall it could not be

1:04:37

further away Yeah children from her

1:04:39

workspace like this other woman is intentionally

1:04:41

trying to go over Pick

1:04:44

up the phone see what it is and then

1:04:46

act like it affected her and like she is

1:04:48

the victim of this situation Yeah,

1:04:50

I'm like this invasive person just always has

1:04:52

on their mind like what's on everyone else's

1:04:55

phones, right? I don't I don't understand that

1:04:57

mindset. Yeah a private person. I also really

1:04:59

try to respect other people's. Yeah. Yeah, as

1:05:02

you should alright last story Am

1:05:06

I the asshole for refusing to delete

1:05:08

a video taken in public? I Think

1:05:12

we might have another week. There could be another devil

1:05:14

So like a yes to me

1:05:16

because if you refuse to take down a video that

1:05:18

someone else requested to take down you're probably an asshole

1:05:20

But yeah, okay. Let's see what you got. Okay. Well

1:05:22

take down food battle I

1:05:27

Was recording in public Take

1:05:30

down take down smosh then you know, I hold

1:05:32

up just erase yourself. I'm gonna

1:05:34

take down this video. No Here

1:05:40

we go, am I the asshole for refusing

1:05:42

to delete a video taken in public this

1:05:45

weekend My girlfriend and I were walking at

1:05:47

a local reservoir when down by the water

1:05:49

We saw a lady going past us with

1:05:51

hundreds of ducks following her. I

1:05:53

am NOT exaggerating at all I'd say there were

1:05:55

at least 200 to 300 birds if

1:05:57

not more quacking and splashing and climbing

1:06:00

all over each other, trying to get closer to the

1:06:02

food she was tossing. It was a hell

1:06:04

of a scene. So I started recording it because

1:06:06

frankly I'd never seen anything quite like it before.

1:06:08

I'd say the path where we were was about

1:06:11

30 or 40 feet back from

1:06:13

the water so it was from a pretty

1:06:15

respectable distance, not getting up in her face

1:06:17

or anything. For a good minute or two

1:06:19

I'm just filming all these ducks going crazy.

1:06:21

Well the lady looks up and sees me

1:06:23

and says, are you recording? I tell her,

1:06:25

yeah I'm recording it, there are like 300

1:06:27

ducks back there. So she yells, I

1:06:29

don't want to be in the picture, delete that video.

1:06:31

I didn't give you permission. I tell

1:06:34

her no, I'm not deleting it. We're out

1:06:36

in public. I don't need permission to take

1:06:38

pictures of things. I'm not even taking a

1:06:40

video of you, you just happen to be

1:06:42

in it walking past. She says, well then

1:06:44

how about if I take a picture of

1:06:46

you and pulls out her phone, I tell

1:06:48

her, I don't care, go ahead. What

1:06:50

are you going to do? Frame it? She's

1:06:53

just standing there taking pictures of us until

1:06:55

finally we all walk away pissed off. So

1:06:58

am I the asshole? I guess this lady thought

1:07:00

I was being rude but I didn't see anything

1:07:02

wrong with what I was doing. Especially since it

1:07:04

wasn't even her, I was really taking the

1:07:06

video of. This is Duck Lady

1:07:08

who was complaining? Yeah. But you were

1:07:10

taking videos of the ducks. So the

1:07:12

duck lady started taking photos of them and

1:07:16

yeah. I could see this because

1:07:18

legally, I think legally

1:07:20

you are allowed to take videos in a

1:07:22

public. I think legally he's within

1:07:24

his right. So it's not a legal conversation.

1:07:26

It's not a technicality. It's an asshole conversation.

1:07:29

Someone would be like, hey, I don't want

1:07:31

to be in your video. I

1:07:34

think it's fair to say I don't want to be in a video and then

1:07:36

I think the respectful thing to do is

1:07:38

say, okay. It sounds like those ducks aren't

1:07:40

going anywhere. It sounds like

1:07:42

there's 300. It's like, great, do you mind if

1:07:45

I, but can I record these ducks over here?

1:07:47

Yeah, we'll crop you out. You can't complain if

1:07:49

someone's recording something that you're not in. So

1:07:51

it sounds like he could have easily just been like,

1:07:53

oh, sorry, I'll delete this one and then I'm going

1:07:55

to film these ducks. Yes, it's asshole behavior

1:07:57

to be like, no. Somebody's

1:08:00

asking you to do something. It's not about

1:08:03

the legality of it It's just like being

1:08:05

kind and respecting it respectful and honestly

1:08:07

nowadays man like videos fucking go

1:08:09

viral And like it doesn't thought she's not

1:08:11

doing anything wrong in the video But like the

1:08:14

next day she could wake up and suddenly it's

1:08:16

like duck lady And it's like you're all over

1:08:18

tick-tock and glitter and people are talking about duck

1:08:20

lady or this is what she does This is

1:08:22

her private thing now. We're gonna start going in

1:08:24

and It's

1:08:26

it's hard to know what ramifications you imagine

1:08:29

there would be but if someone says Please

1:08:32

don't record me obviously you say okay.

1:08:34

I won't record you. She's trying to gatekeep the

1:08:36

ducks Potentially I don't

1:08:39

know it could potentially be illegal to feed the

1:08:41

birds here or something She's

1:08:44

like I like don't But

1:08:47

if to me my take is I'm like

1:08:49

dude. It's so easy to just like not

1:08:51

have this be a situation Like

1:08:53

cuz cuz frankly look I Get

1:08:57

it you run into like I'm imagining this is an

1:08:59

older woman You can run into just like crazy people

1:09:01

who are like hey Are you recording me like I'm

1:09:03

gonna record you and I'm like you

1:09:05

might be crazy, but like let me just avoid

1:09:08

This is on question like I'll go record the

1:09:10

ducks over here to give him

1:09:13

some credit to it Doesn't sound like she

1:09:15

was the coolest about it to like yelling

1:09:17

from 30 feet away It's obviously not very

1:09:19

easy to be receptive to that and then

1:09:22

being like well I'm gonna take your picture

1:09:24

like I'm sure that that riled

1:09:26

him up, and he was like great I'll

1:09:28

pose like I'm sure that that just made

1:09:30

the whole altercation. Oh, yeah, you know what came

1:09:32

out like principal It's like I

1:09:34

can legally do this though. Yeah,

1:09:37

it's like okay Cool, but how about

1:09:39

you just be a nice person about it?

1:09:41

Yeah, we don't know the gender of

1:09:43

this person They were there with

1:09:45

their girlfriend. I Would

1:09:47

say if it was a man by himself I 100%

1:09:51

understand someone not wanting to be recorded

1:09:53

by some guy sure but

1:09:56

if it's a couple and he's They're

1:09:59

clearly stating like oh i'm here that there's

1:10:01

three hundred dot here i want to record this

1:10:03

yeah i get that man and when

1:10:05

it was brought up in the like the dogs are

1:10:07

cool right like it didn't really seem like he was

1:10:09

made a very obvious it wasn't about her right now

1:10:12

i think it would be a little not the

1:10:14

contact was clear though that it was

1:10:16

about the doctor was about her and

1:10:18

i think absolutely right whatever the

1:10:21

gender was of whoever was taking the video

1:10:23

they were with their girlfriend and i always

1:10:25

whenever i see at least just a man

1:10:27

with a girl unlike okay she's with a

1:10:29

woman he safer if i i

1:10:31

i think they say i'd try to get out

1:10:34

there i trust that she's not going to be

1:10:36

with a bad man so i trust this couple yeah

1:10:38

i think i think that just gives that would give

1:10:40

me a little bit more even i would hope that

1:10:42

that would happen with this older woman but i

1:10:45

guess she could have just still felt targeted some

1:10:49

comments here uh... you're the apple it

1:10:51

might be legal but if someone doesn't

1:10:53

want to be recorded you should respect

1:10:55

that someone else that agreed you might

1:10:57

be on legally solid ground not for

1:10:59

but that seems right but that doesn't

1:11:01

make you scott free on the apple

1:11:03

scale you're the apple uh... someone else

1:11:05

as for some info they said uh...

1:11:08

info if you posted online or saved to

1:11:10

show others will you be editing her out

1:11:12

of it or downloading something to hide her

1:11:15

privacy opie responded i don't really plan to

1:11:17

post it online and in any case all

1:11:19

you really see of this lady is the

1:11:21

side flash back of her head as she

1:11:24

goes by which was mostly covered by a

1:11:26

hat and from like thirty feet away so

1:11:28

instead of the answer my question is no

1:11:30

then you will not be doing anything to

1:11:33

protect her privacy you're the apple opie says

1:11:35

not doing anything to protect her privacy you

1:11:37

mean other than keeping the video private and

1:11:39

you can even see who she is anyway

1:11:42

uh... sixty nine down vote uh...

1:11:45

yet yet is privacy is

1:11:47

privacy not posting online or his privacy

1:11:49

like all but you still have that

1:11:51

video right the someone has

1:11:53

a video of you like that is

1:11:55

uncomfortable with that logic argue that they record

1:11:58

you and like all but it's private.

1:12:00

It's just for me. Yeah. Or he very well

1:12:02

could have just been like, I'm not so much worse. I'm

1:12:05

not going to post this for my private collection.

1:12:07

I put it in my hidden folder school. Like,

1:12:10

I mean, he easily could have just lied as

1:12:12

well. I've been like, okay, yeah, I'm going to delete it

1:12:14

because she's not going to see it on the internet.

1:12:16

Is she going to swim over like, you know,

1:12:18

like whatever paddle over? God, I hope

1:12:20

when I'm scrolling through TikTok next, I get a

1:12:22

300 duck video followed by a getting ready for

1:12:24

a date. I don't want to go on. You

1:12:27

know, I'm going to see that dress as

1:12:30

a sponsor. They're listening to me.

1:12:33

Someone said, so in my country, it would be illegal

1:12:35

for you to post that if the person in the

1:12:37

recording does not consent, because here there

1:12:39

really is an expectation of privacy. Even when

1:12:41

in public, not everyone has the need nor

1:12:43

desire to be trending on TikTok. Some of

1:12:46

us also don't want our image slash likeness

1:12:48

scattered on the internet. You would be the

1:12:50

asshole if you posted unedited, do what you

1:12:52

can to remove or blur her out. If

1:12:54

possible, have a shred of understanding that some

1:12:57

people just don't want to be recorded and

1:12:59

spread to the entire world population. Keep in

1:13:01

mind, this is only if you posted online

1:13:03

recording for your own private use only. That's

1:13:05

not really a concern. O.P. said,

1:13:07

yeah, I've got no interest in posting it

1:13:09

on the internet. Not everything has to be

1:13:11

viral. 644 upvotes. Someone

1:13:14

responded to that saying, I did chuckle when

1:13:17

you got all annoyed and left because she

1:13:19

turned the tables and filmed you. Do you

1:13:21

still not understand why you doing it to

1:13:23

her was intrusive and annoying? Even when you

1:13:25

felt the same thing yourself, you're the asshole

1:13:27

for an entitled lack of empathy. People aren't

1:13:30

just props for your life. O.P. responded to

1:13:32

that thing. I didn't feel the same thing

1:13:34

myself. I honestly didn't care that she was

1:13:36

taking pictures of me. It wasn't intrusive or

1:13:38

annoying. It was just stupid at that point

1:13:40

to keep standing around arguing with this ding

1:13:43

bat when that's what the situation had devolved

1:13:45

to. 126 downvotes

1:13:47

on that one. Thank God. Someone said, if

1:13:49

a woman asks you to stop staring at

1:13:51

her, the not creepy and non asshole thing

1:13:53

to do is stop. I don't see why

1:13:55

you think making a personal video of someone

1:13:57

who asked you not to is so different.

1:14:00

The fact that he's like, well, I didn't

1:14:03

feel intrusive and I didn't feel weird or

1:14:05

annoyed about it And it's like okay, but

1:14:07

not everybody thinks like you do. Yeah, like

1:14:10

she clearly Expressed that she

1:14:12

was not cool with you filming her

1:14:15

So her turning around like yeah, that was obviously a

1:14:17

bad argument on her part to be like well I'm

1:14:19

gonna film you but the whole

1:14:21

point is that they both came off

1:14:24

of that understanding it differently Right.

1:14:26

I feel like this boils down to the common Thing

1:14:29

that we're all told is like treat others like

1:14:31

you want to be treated and I think some

1:14:33

people really take that Literally instead

1:14:36

of like treat people like make others feel the

1:14:38

way you want to feel instead They say I

1:14:40

won't mind people filming me so I don't mind

1:14:42

filming her and you shouldn't mind me filming you

1:14:44

either right, it's like that while

1:14:47

that that Motto

1:14:49

has kind of been told the kids as

1:14:51

something that's supposed to be helpful

1:14:53

I think some people just really take that I

1:14:56

saw a really good rewrite of that motto and

1:14:58

it was treat others how they want to Be

1:15:00

treated. Yeah, and I think that's so much better

1:15:03

Like let other people outline their boundaries to

1:15:05

you and then you can be like cool

1:15:07

I'm gonna respect that here are mine instead

1:15:09

of just being like well, I'd be cool

1:15:11

with you recording me So I'm just gonna

1:15:13

treat you how I want to be treated

1:15:15

with respect. No, that's great. That's

1:15:17

great. No, that's a lot That's

1:15:20

all our stories who do we think was the biggest

1:15:22

asshole out of all these we've got so we've got

1:15:25

the iron You know the guy who made his ex

1:15:27

homeless The lady who wore a wedding dress to a

1:15:29

wedding kind of icon We have the guy who opened

1:15:31

up his relationship and his dad his wife's not sleeping

1:15:34

with women We

1:15:38

have a lady who's snooping around way too much Yeah,

1:15:42

okay Oh and the

1:15:45

guy oh he said the homeless thing and the

1:15:47

guy taking photos of the woman. Yeah, I I'm

1:15:49

split between The

1:15:53

guy that made his wife homeless

1:15:57

Yeah, and the guy that wanted

1:15:59

to open Open his relationship to meet his

1:16:01

needs and when his wife needs started getting

1:16:03

met he got pissed off Yeah, it is

1:16:05

the tie between them I would say I'm

1:16:07

gonna go with the house because I think

1:16:09

more I feel like more

1:16:12

damage was done there That's

1:16:16

relationship versus financial because I feel like I feel

1:16:18

like that relationship one is just gonna end like

1:16:20

I think she I think she's Might

1:16:22

already have other guys that are gonna treat her

1:16:24

well lined up It seems like it worked out

1:16:27

for her whereas the house one she got really

1:16:29

screwed over now She doesn't have a house and

1:16:31

the kids are low contact. Yeah, it's impossible to

1:16:33

compare these. Yeah We it's ultimately

1:16:35

like in the comments. Let us know your vote

1:16:38

Yeah, I just didn't like the language

1:16:40

around the whole open other relations a lot of it

1:16:42

comes down to the writing Yeah The way that he

1:16:44

was just like she has everything to offer like that

1:16:46

really just didn't sit right with any of us the

1:16:48

way It was written exactly the tone the way

1:16:51

this guy thinks about himself and his wife and

1:16:53

his place in the marriage that I

1:16:55

think that wins the biggest asshole just in the term

1:16:58

terms of the way he's going about it Yeah,

1:17:00

oh and the girl who made the tick-tock too

1:17:02

about not wanting to go on the date. Did

1:17:04

we mention her right? No, that she

1:17:06

was also a jerk that girl sucks,

1:17:08

but I don't think that she's out

1:17:10

of the devil. The devil name caliber

1:17:12

Yeah, yeah. Well, let us know your

1:17:14

opinions down in the comments below and

1:17:16

we will see you next Saturday for

1:17:19

a massive Reddit story

1:17:21

compilation. It's gonna be all of our favorite

1:17:23

stories from this from the this whole series

1:17:26

Frankly, and it's gonna be awesome. It's

1:17:28

gonna be cozy. It'll be 2024 It's

1:17:32

gonna be unbelievably cozy and

1:17:34

you're recording long cozy a

1:17:36

long cozy stream You're

1:17:38

recording new bits for it. I I

1:17:40

filmed a bunch of interstitials But

1:17:43

it's gonna be a long it's gonna be

1:17:45

a long video like these interstitials are gonna

1:17:47

come and come around like every hour Cozier

1:17:52

I get cozier and cozier as

1:17:54

it goes. Yeah, great. So

1:17:56

check that out and thank you both for being here. Thank

1:17:58

you Hey man, 2024

1:18:00

is gonna be pretty cool. It's gonna be big. I'm

1:18:03

getting nice and settled in with Smosh in 2024. Wow.

1:18:06

Things are gonna get even better. Unless

1:18:08

you have to delete the video. Yeah, true.

1:18:10

Because I don't wanna be on it. Yeah, you decided

1:18:13

last minute you don't wanna have it. Yeah, I don't

1:18:15

wanna have a private version. I'm like, it was just

1:18:17

for me for my own private video. Okay, well then

1:18:19

that's fine. I'm just having our team edit it just

1:18:21

for me. Okay, that's fine. Yeah,

1:18:23

alright. Well, guys, we'll

1:18:26

see you next year. Bye!

1:18:28

Bye! Bye! Oh.