0:00

It's Sophia Franklin. You're listening

0:02

to Sophia with an F

0:05

and the F is for phenomenal.

0:11

This podcast is rated F. I am

0:15

not having sex. This

0:17

time around, I have this

0:21

phobia of masturbating

0:26

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0:29

my ex so

0:31

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0:34

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0:36

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2:22

Oh my gosh, welcome to

2:24

Sofia with an F, everybody.

2:27

Remember last week when I said

2:29

that I would only be dressing like

2:31

a 60s housewife and I

2:34

was throwing away every single item

2:36

in my closet? Yeah,

2:38

that's not happening. That

2:41

lasted a total of maybe three

2:43

and a half days. I

2:46

am currently wearing a Skims

2:50

1Z and that is not an ad unless

2:53

Skims has an ad in this episode

2:55

then they're getting double promotion. Kim,

2:57

I'm out here doing the

2:59

work, okay? I

3:01

need a Skims collab. And

3:03

you know what? I still think it's a

3:06

very put together outfit. I'm wearing a white

3:08

button down blouse over it so I'm not

3:11

overtly sexual and my ass

3:14

cheeks are hanging out but if

3:17

you're not subscribed on YouTube

3:20

then you wouldn't know that, huh? I

3:22

suggest you go and feast your eyes

3:25

and subscribe. I have an excuse as

3:27

to why I'm dressed this way. I

3:30

am recovering from an illness. I

3:33

never get sick. Well, never

3:35

say never. We're

3:37

gonna talk about that momentarily but right

3:39

now I just want you guys to

3:42

kick your boots off, make

3:45

yourself a little margarita like

3:47

I have here and enjoy

3:49

because I have some fun

3:51

shit in store for us. Usually

3:54

when I record my apartment

3:56

is off limits. Yellow

3:59

caution tape. because

4:01

I am cohabitating and my mother

4:04

is here. She

4:08

is in the next room and we got

4:10

in a little bit of

4:12

a tip because we're going to

4:14

see Argentina play Chile in

4:17

the American Cup, which I don't even, I

4:19

had no idea there was an American Cup

4:22

for soccer. I

4:25

just thought for the most part,

4:27

football is fucking Travis Kelsey football,

4:30

not Lionel Messi.

4:33

And I have a Messi jersey and

4:35

I want to change the eye on

4:37

it to a why so fucking bad

4:39

because I think that'd be so fucking

4:41

hilarious, but that would be sacrilegious. My

4:45

two uncles, one

4:47

of them lives in Florida, one of them

4:49

lives in Utah, flew into New

4:51

York just to see this game. Okay,

4:54

like the fandom is just

4:56

on an entirely different level,

4:59

but I'm going to go to the game

5:01

after this. It's

5:04

probably going to take three and a half

5:06

hours to get there. And I'm actually really,

5:08

really fucking excited. Here's

5:10

the thing about working in the

5:13

summertime, but

5:17

just like fucking dive in. It

5:21

shouldn't be legal. It

5:25

should not be allowed. I don't know

5:27

why we went to school from preschool

5:31

up to college even. Summers,

5:35

you take the summer off. Like that is

5:37

what we know. That is what

5:40

was ingrained in us from a very young

5:42

age. And then all of a sudden it's like,

5:45

no, actually you're working year round. But

5:49

the thing about New York, it

5:52

is the city of workaholics.

5:55

And don't let people lie to you when they say

5:57

it's the city that never sleeps. Cause it

6:00

fucking sleeps. Like right now,

6:02

New York is barren.

6:04

It went

6:06

from just thousands and thousands

6:09

and thousands of people sitting

6:11

around the Two Bridges area

6:14

shell out. You don't

6:16

know what Two Bridges is. It's tech.

6:19

It's like the low east side, low, low

6:21

east side. It went

6:23

from just being completely

6:26

packed to apocalyptic.

6:30

I'm waiting for like an alien to pop

6:32

out. Like it's a little bit bizarre. But

6:35

the thing is, is finding

6:39

an outdoor swimming pool in New

6:42

York is

6:44

harder to find than a needle

6:46

in a haystack. I

6:48

think there's a total of eight outdoor

6:52

accessible swimming pools in

6:54

the entire city of

6:56

Manhattan. And

6:58

I mean that. And I've done

7:01

the research. There is a website

7:03

called Resort Pass, where

7:05

you can actually buy a day

7:08

pass to use one

7:10

of the pools at whatever hotel. It

7:13

will cost you $300 minimum for you and

7:15

your friend to

7:19

go lay by the pool. $300 to

7:22

lay by a pool. Maybe I'm just jaded

7:24

because I grew up in Salt Lake

7:33

City, Utah, where I could

7:35

just hop a fence and be in some

7:37

like at an outdoor pool. You

7:40

could just whip into any apartment

7:42

complex in Utah and pretend you

7:44

left your key and someone will

7:46

open the gate and you have

7:49

12 beds to choose

7:51

from to lay out on. This shit

7:54

is different. Not only are

7:56

you paying $300. just

8:00

to get like a chair. Some

8:02

of these places you have to actually

8:04

get a three

8:06

hour time slot. So

8:09

you are paying 200 bucks a person to

8:13

lay by a pool for

8:16

three hours total. Why

8:18

don't you just get a hotel room at that point?

8:20

Am I crazy? So

8:22

I get why everyone flocks

8:24

to the Hamptons and Europe.

8:28

I see it now more clearly than I've ever fucking seen

8:30

it because

8:34

it is a little bit intense being in the city all

8:36

the time. And then when

8:39

the temperature gets above 80 degrees, people

8:42

start doing like crazy ass shit. People

8:45

lose their minds. So I

8:47

get this whole run off to

8:49

the Hamptons thing. I've never

8:52

looked into doing that. I'm gonna be completely

8:54

honest. I think

8:56

because I genuinely have

9:00

commitment issues and that is

9:02

not just in romance, that is in life. People

9:05

who have a house in the Hamptons

9:07

for the entire summer planned that

9:11

shit a year in advance

9:13

or two years. And

9:16

you think I'm joking right now, like that's

9:18

I'm not exaggerating whatsoever.

9:20

That is how much

9:22

prep and how much commitment

9:26

these people are doing. And I just have

9:28

never been able to do it. And I

9:30

also have looked into

9:32

it and I'm down to fucking splurge.

9:34

I really, really am. But

9:37

shit can get a little bit crazy. I

9:40

went to purchase a smoothie and

9:43

it was $14 and 35 cents from Joe and the Juice for

9:49

a protein smoothie. Okay,

9:54

that shit is fucking insane to

9:57

me and I couldn't justify that.

10:00

Did I justify a $12.28 protein

10:02

shake? Absolutely. I mean, come on,

10:04

$12, I can work with that.

10:12

Long story short, I told

10:14

my mom, let's go on

10:16

a vacation. She says, awesome. We're

10:19

going to Grenada. I'm

10:21

like, dope. What

10:24

part of Italy is that in? She

10:27

tells me it is in

10:29

fact an island in

10:32

the Caribbean and has nothing to

10:34

do with Italy. And it's

10:37

also pronounced Grenada. I come

10:40

to find out once

10:42

I got there and I asked

10:44

the locals, it is pronounced Grenada.

10:48

But I was

10:51

like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's fucking go.

10:53

Let's run it. I just

10:57

need a body of

10:59

water. Whether it's a pond, a

11:01

lake, if

11:04

my bathtub would fill up, I would honestly

11:06

take that, but it doesn't. So I got

11:09

on the flight. We

11:11

booked the trip, obviously, in

11:14

Franco Franklin fashion. Franco

11:16

is my mother's last

11:18

name, fun note.

11:21

We booked it. I get

11:24

on the plane, did not

11:26

pack. Accordingly, don't have

11:28

a book. The

11:30

entire flight had no Wi-Fi.

11:33

I had my headphones. That

11:35

was it. My mom wants to show

11:37

you guys how to make the perfect margarita. No,

11:40

this is a podcast. Next

11:45

time. I'm like, I don't know, filming

11:47

a TikTok. I'm sitting on

11:49

this flight and a few

11:52

hours go by and I'm starting

11:54

to be thinking to

11:56

myself, how long is this

11:58

shit? There is nothing. like

12:00

getting on a flight and

12:04

them announcing as

12:06

the airplane is taxiing that

12:09

there is no wifi. And

12:13

I feel like they do it like right as the plane

12:15

is taking off. And

12:18

there's just nothing like the no wifi

12:20

mixed with no book, mixed

12:22

with no headphones to plug into

12:24

the TV screen in front of

12:27

me to really make you evaluate

12:32

who you are as a human being. I'm

12:34

ready to be a wife.

12:43

Yeah, I said it. I

12:46

don't have a fiance or anything

12:48

close to it, but I'm

12:50

ready. The only thing

12:53

is I'm starting to wonder if

12:55

I might have to catch a

12:57

flight to find the one, to

13:00

find my man, or excuse

13:02

me, catch a flight so he can find me

13:04

is what I meant to say. So

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with Viator. But

16:01

I'm on the flight and

16:03

my mom pulls up

16:05

on the TV, the map, where

16:08

it shows you in real time

16:10

where the airplane is at. And

16:14

I look and I'm like,

16:17

why the fuck are

16:19

we closer to

16:22

South America right now than

16:26

the United States? Where

16:31

is this Grenada? Because

16:33

I know it is a place in Italy

16:35

and you cannot tell me otherwise. It's actually a place

16:37

in Spain. But I'm like, what

16:40

is happening? I

16:42

am very, very much

16:45

the type of person

16:47

where the distance and

16:50

the amount of time it takes to fly

16:52

somewhere needs

16:56

to be balanced with how

16:58

long I'm staying at such

17:01

destination or how fucking

17:03

incredible said destination will

17:05

be. I'm going to

17:08

Grenada for three, four days. So

17:10

why am I outside of

17:13

Colombia? Brazil. I

17:17

literally told my mom, I was like, this isn't real. My

17:22

mom goes, I had no idea. Wow,

17:25

this is crazy. That is

17:27

just so typical of

17:29

how I grew up. And

17:34

you know what? I don't hate it. I

17:36

love the go with the flow kind of attitude,

17:38

but it was

17:41

a little bit fucking jarring. And I

17:43

looked at my mom and I told her we

17:46

might as well change the

17:48

return flight and go to your

17:52

homeland, Argentina at this point, because

17:54

we're a 45 minute ferry ride

17:56

away from there. Oh

18:02

my God. So that

18:05

was really fucking fun. We got to

18:07

Grenada. It is beautiful, stunning, gorgeous. The

18:09

beach is everything you would imagine. The

18:11

UV index is like a 10 or

18:14

an 11, depending on the day. I

18:19

was putting on aloe vera gel

18:22

thinking it was sunscreen, which

18:25

is really, really bad. But I secretly was

18:27

like kind of excited about it because I

18:29

got tan wave. But like you get tan

18:32

in seven minutes laying

18:34

in that sun. Two

18:38

days before we have to leave, I

18:41

have just a tiny little bathroom incident and

18:43

we'll keep it at that. Didn't

18:46

really think anything of it. I'm

18:48

traveling, whatever. I

18:51

got home back to New York. And

18:54

I'm feeling hot. I

18:58

am not like temperature, like

19:01

sexy, you know, tan slept.

19:07

I look bright eyed and bushy

19:09

tailed and I was like, damn,

19:13

did I hate my job or did I just need

19:15

a little vacation? And

19:18

I challenge everyone to ask yourselves

19:20

this question as well, because I

19:22

was like, I don't know what

19:24

the fuck I'm doing. And I

19:26

was just feeling so burnt out.

19:29

But I got home and I was

19:31

like, I am ready to get after

19:34

it tomorrow. I

19:36

wake up in my apartment.

19:38

I'm working, getting

19:40

all this shit done. And

19:43

I decide to microwave this

19:45

frozen meal and I have

19:47

about half of it. And

19:51

I get this stomach pain

19:54

that is debilitating, debilitating

19:56

to the point that I was like,

19:59

OK, This is like my period

20:01

cramps times a thousand and I

20:03

need to lay down. And I

20:05

started to get sweats. And

20:08

I was like, you know what? I

20:10

know what's going on. I'm not on

20:12

my period. So

20:14

there's only one answer and it's

20:17

GERD. It's

20:19

the fucking GERD. And if you don't

20:21

know what GERD is, it

20:24

stands for gastrointestinal, something

20:28

with an E, something with an R, something with a D. Basically

20:32

acid reflex, which

20:34

I know I have that. My

20:37

ENT doctor three years

20:39

ago told me that I

20:41

have it pretty intensely to the point

20:44

that he was like, you can either

20:46

get on medication or you can just

20:49

change your lifestyle, AKA

20:54

nutrition. So

20:57

I decided to do neither

20:59

of those things and just continue on

21:02

my merry way with my life. And

21:04

I was like, oh my God, it's

21:07

fucking catching up to me. I had

21:09

a frozen Tikka masala microwaveable meal, which

21:11

has all of the fucking triggers for like

21:14

the worst acid reflex.

21:16

Spicy, garlic, tomatoes, onions.

21:19

So that's what I chalked it up to. And

21:22

I was like really running

21:24

that theory hard. And

21:28

then like six, seven hours

21:30

go by and

21:32

the stomach pain was like coming and

21:35

going. And then I was like feeling

21:37

nauseous. And my mom was

21:39

like, are you sure it's acid reflex? Sometimes

21:42

mothers really do know best because

21:46

she straight up told me,

21:48

this is not acid reflex.

21:50

You would not be in

21:52

this same situation eight hours

21:54

later. You got food

21:56

poisoning. And something came over me

21:58

where I was like. Just for

22:00

fun, I want to type in Fully

22:05

I want to type in Grenada

22:08

food poisoning Is

22:11

that the most? Fucking

22:15

confirmation bias Shit

22:18

you've ever heard Totally.

22:20

Yeah, except the article I

22:23

found had dropped 24

22:26

hours earlier and the headline

22:28

read Gastro outbreak

22:31

in Grenada uptick

22:34

of 27% more cases this week

22:36

and There

22:41

is salmonella E. Coli and

22:43

sapovirus going around So

22:48

then at that point I was like Moms

22:50

really do know best mom and I

22:52

never fucking doubted you girlfriend like you

22:54

were right from the start obviously and

22:58

Then shit went from bad

23:00

to fucking Horrifying

23:03

when I tell you I was

23:06

emptying out the

23:08

contents of my stomach both

23:11

ways back and

23:13

forth back and forth back and forth there is

23:16

a moment where I puked

23:18

in the toilet then

23:21

in the sink and Then

23:24

in the bathtub Why

23:26

did I decide to do something like

23:28

that because that was how insane the

23:31

vomit was And

23:35

I'm sure everyone listening to this it

23:37

just is loving this shit But I

23:39

need to give details so you guys

23:41

understand like how it was like a

23:44

monsters inside me thing I was

23:46

actually audibly screaming

23:49

making a noise Involuntarily

23:51

as I was throwing up it was it

23:54

was horrendous. I'm sure all of you

23:56

guys have been there before I don't think it is

23:59

actually food poisoning, it's like a stomach

24:01

virus. But anywho, shit

24:04

was really not fun. And

24:06

it took four or five

24:08

days for me to feel like

24:11

I could leave my apartment without wearing a

24:13

diaper. And

24:16

that is my little fucking story.

24:19

I lost, I think

24:21

five pounds, maybe more. I

24:23

don't even wanna know. Pounds

24:26

that I couldn't afford to lose,

24:30

which is, this is so funny. It's like

24:32

crazy, the things that

24:35

you used to obsess over and

24:37

how they can just do a complete 180. I

24:41

lost five pounds and I'm complaining

24:43

about it. Yeah,

24:45

now that I'm this way

24:47

and I'm super tiny and

24:51

I've been actively trying to put

24:54

five to 10 pounds on. Hence

24:56

why, even if I'm not working out, I just

24:58

chug 20 grams

25:01

of protein, non-dairy, but

25:05

pre-made protein shake. I

25:07

remember this is like very recent,

25:09

but I do remember I

25:12

spent my entire life up

25:14

until 27, wanting

25:18

to be thinner

25:21

and wanting to lose weight. And

25:25

now, I'm trying to put on weight

25:28

and then that fucking shit went down, which

25:30

is totally, it's like not

25:33

a huge deal. That

25:35

was the least of my fucking

25:37

concerns and still is, but

25:40

it really was not fun. But

25:42

that was my little fun shit that

25:44

happened. I know I posted on my

25:47

Instagram story and I'm laying in my

25:49

bed and there is

25:51

a woman giving me an IV and

25:53

tons of you responded to

25:55

that story being like, You

26:01

look like you're dead. You

26:03

look like you're from a Tim

26:05

Burton film and there's not one ounce of color in

26:07

your face. Like I actually

26:10

was not okay. And

26:12

if you think I had the

26:14

gumption to order an IV myself,

26:16

you are sadly mistaken. That was

26:18

a little surprise for my mom,

26:20

which was very, very sweet because

26:23

I remember Sunday

26:25

the night, the puking

26:28

and then being like,

26:30

oh my God, like I'm so thirsty,

26:32

but I was way too scared

26:34

to fucking drink. So that

26:37

was really fun. Still

26:40

recommend Grenada. The

26:42

ocean, like it was, the water was so

26:44

clear. I could see my toes, there were

26:46

crabs. There were really,

26:49

really big spiders, I thought at

26:52

one point. The first night I

26:54

got there, I

26:56

was walking back to the hotel room and

26:59

I saw the world's largest spider

27:02

and he had some football player

27:05

legs on him. And

27:07

I was like, ooh, I'm gonna

27:10

have to go to another hotel

27:13

because that's just, that was the craziest shit

27:15

I've ever seen. Turns out it was just

27:18

a really big crap and

27:20

crabs have thicker legs than spiders.

27:24

I hope spiders don't have a low self esteem because

27:26

of that, but it is what it is. Let's

27:29

talk about Justin Timberlake getting rusted though. ["Tempechek",

27:32

by Justin Timberlake playing in

27:34

the background.] Tempechek,

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limited by state law. Hell

28:50

of that for a fucking segue. We

28:52

are off to the races. I know

28:55

it's definitely old news by now, the

28:58

way the news cycle works. I

29:00

just find the whole

29:03

thing fascinating, not because

29:06

of what he did. That's something

29:08

that is very fucking

29:10

common, not excusable. I

29:13

mean, driving, like that was one

29:15

thing I thought. Why is Justin

29:17

Timberlake, like he

29:19

has the funds to for sure have

29:21

a driver. He has

29:24

the funds for sure to get home

29:26

in a pretty

29:29

luxurious way. And there

29:32

really is no excuse. But

29:35

I think the

29:37

fact that he muttered the

29:42

tour is over

29:45

as the cop was arresting him. And then

29:48

the cop said, oh, what tour? And

29:50

then he goes, the world tour. I

29:54

don't even know if that's like real

29:56

life. I really hope it is. Do

29:59

we blame him? for that? Apps?

30:03

I would have pulled the fame

30:05

card 10,000 times harder.

30:07

I would have straight up

30:10

Googled me. I don't think

30:13

there's two words that you

30:15

can say back to back that are cringier

30:17

than Google me. I am telling you in

30:19

that moment in time, that is exactly what

30:21

I would fucking do. Listen,

30:25

buddy, not sure

30:27

if you've heard of the band in

30:29

sync. Yeah. Not sure if you

30:31

heard of the one

30:33

guy that really took it home

30:35

from the fucking band and continue.

30:38

Not sure if you've heard of I'm bringing

30:40

sexy back. Let me just hurry and play

30:42

it for you. Cause I fucking made

30:45

the song. I would have been pulling all

30:47

of that shit out. Do I think it's

30:49

okay? He did that. Fuck no. He can

30:52

have a Hummer Limo if people

30:54

were still doing that in 2024,

30:57

pick him up and drop his

31:00

ass off in Kansas if

31:02

he wanted to. You could have

31:04

five drivers just waiting and I

31:06

get it. Like he's a celebrity,

31:09

but like, you know,

31:11

celebrities are just like us. At

31:14

the end of the day, they really are. And as a celebrity

31:19

and a colleague and

31:23

a peer to Justin

31:26

Timberlake, like I would consider

31:28

Justin Timberlake a peer, you

31:30

know? So I understand the

31:33

celebrity dilemma, dilemma, dilemma.

31:35

I really do. I understand

31:41

it. I just, that

31:43

was a joke by the way. You

31:46

guys would not believe how many people

31:48

just really, because

31:51

I normally don't laugh after the shit I say,

31:53

like really think I'm being serious, but I

31:55

think that he should have said, my

31:58

attorney will get me out of anything. and

32:01

looked the cop dead in the face. Exactly

32:05

what I said to the

32:08

policeman who arrested me for

32:11

underage drinking and made

32:14

sure to include that in the police report

32:16

for the entire world

32:18

to have access to, to know what a douchebag I

32:21

sounded like. But I also think that's such a flex

32:23

that I was saying that shit at 17. Me at

32:25

17 my

32:28

attorney will get me out of anything. You

32:31

think I, what is this, the Kardashian's?

32:33

Like, my family didn't

32:36

have money to have

32:38

an attorney on deck.

32:41

Like, that's just some crazy shit, but I

32:43

like that about myself. The bartender

32:46

did corroborate the story and I

32:48

just, this, kudos

32:51

to the bartender coming in

32:54

hot at Justin Timberlake's defense.

32:57

Yes, he did only have one drink.

33:00

So the statement he made when he

33:02

was belligerent trying to walk a line

33:04

saying he only had one

33:06

martini is correct. And I was the one

33:08

serving him. I would fucking know. I think

33:11

that's really great. The

33:14

bartender is obviously covering his own ass

33:17

because you can get in big fucking trouble

33:19

for that shit. Actually not even you the

33:21

restaurant. So that

33:24

fucking alibi confession

33:26

doesn't mean shit and has

33:28

no weight, but I

33:32

don't know the news surrounding

33:34

Justin Timberlake's arrest just like

33:38

so shameful career

33:41

over question mark, no

33:43

coming back from this. Like, no,

33:47

there is. Oh, their

33:49

most definitely is. Think about

33:52

any fucking celebrity, you know, who's

33:54

been in like a crazy, crazy,

33:56

crazy off scandal that absolutely that

33:58

person should. be canceled and I

34:00

say that very

34:04

lightly, but Justin

34:08

Timberlake will be fucking fine. Travis

34:11

Kelsey on the other hand performing

34:13

at the era's tour. I

34:21

might get in trouble.

34:24

I think of Travis

34:26

Kelsey as like a very,

34:28

very attractive man. Like

34:30

he is fucking hot and you

34:33

cannot deny that. And

34:36

with hot men, I usually assume

34:38

that they can pull

34:40

anything off. I mean, put him in a

34:42

suit, have him

34:44

with his shirt off, have

34:47

him in his football uniform,

34:49

have him naked. Like

34:51

they're just, they're hot. So like they can

34:53

rock anything. And

34:58

I think Travis Kelsey can

35:00

pull anything off except that.

35:03

That cat in the hat attire

35:07

that he wore on stage. And I get it. It

35:09

was like part of a bit and part of this

35:11

like storyline. I didn't,

35:13

I don't want to see Travis Kelsey wearing

35:15

that ever again. I just, that's it. And

35:18

that's all I have to say about that. And I just,

35:22

sometimes I wonder with him, like, is

35:24

this him wanting to do these

35:26

things or is his

35:28

PR team like your

35:32

entire career, Travis, comes down

35:34

to this one moment

35:37

and the moment is going

35:39

on stage with Taylor Swift. So

35:41

get out there buddy. Don't

35:44

care what you think, what you feel, what

35:48

you want to do. We all know,

35:50

we all know how athletes are

35:53

out here, you know, they make

35:56

a huge chunk of money within a short

35:58

time span. And And

36:00

a lot of times they like blow it,

36:03

which is understandable. They're like so young and

36:05

blah, blah, blah. But sometimes

36:08

I wonder, like, is

36:10

he doing it really

36:13

because he loves

36:15

the Swifties and like really

36:17

just enjoys the attention and

36:21

being with his his girl, quote

36:23

unquote. I

36:29

think he does. I

36:32

don't think it's a fucking talent

36:34

agency or his manager telling

36:36

him to get out there, bud. I

36:39

think he genuinely likes it. I'm

36:47

Tanks Sinatra and I'm Investigators Later. And

36:49

together we co-host a podcast called Psychopedia,

36:51

which is a true crime podcast infused

36:54

with comedy making it a crime-ity. Each

36:56

week, Investigators Later brings us a wild

36:58

and thoroughly researched true crime case. I'm

37:01

here to digest it all and react just

37:03

like you probably are right there on the

37:05

other side of the microphone. Somehow, I've got

37:07

to present each case with the detail and

37:09

respect it deserves, while also cracking up at

37:11

Tanks' perfectly timed humor and thought-provoking questions. Listen

37:13

to and follow Psychopedia on the free Odyssey

37:15

app or wherever you get your podcasts. So

37:25

that's how I feel. Fame

37:30

is a hell of a fucking drug. We're not going to

37:32

go down that rabbit hole. I

37:35

am still single. I

37:37

am not dating. I haven't even thought

37:39

about dating. I am not

37:41

having sex. I

37:44

am not even having sex with myself, actually.

37:48

Full disclosure, I

37:51

haven't really been

37:54

getting after the watch

37:56

porn and feel good. of

38:00

shit, which is really kind

38:03

of an interesting thing

38:06

because the last time I

38:08

was going through a breakup that was not the

38:10

case. This time around I have

38:13

this phobia

38:17

of masturbating

38:20

and then it

38:24

making me miss my

38:26

ex so much

38:28

to the point that I will get

38:31

sad or end up reaching out to them.

38:34

This is a new phobia, by the way. I've

38:36

never ever thought

38:38

that to myself or had

38:40

this issue. It's just been

38:43

this past breakup and

38:45

I'm like, I don't

38:47

know what the fuck is wrong with me,

38:50

but I'm also not judging myself whatsoever.

38:53

If I want

38:55

to do something about it, I absolutely will,

38:58

but it's something

39:00

interesting to think about. It's

39:04

also really interesting because I've had

39:07

multiple of my friends reach

39:09

out to me and say, okay, but

39:12

anytime you get in this mood,

39:14

Sophia, and you miss him or

39:16

you're thinking about if you made

39:18

the wrong decision, you just need

39:20

to get out there and not

39:22

date anyone, but have fun at

39:24

least. The best way to get

39:26

over someone is to get under

39:28

someone else. Fuck

39:32

that. If I can't

39:34

even do a little

39:36

DJ set down there without

39:39

being paranoid that it will

39:42

make me spiral into a

39:44

further depth of

39:46

breakup hell, how the

39:49

fuck is having sex

39:51

with a stranger when I

39:54

guess I could tuck some old

39:57

flings? Fuck no. Hell no.

39:59

Oh, wow, I

40:02

think that just spoke volumes of

40:05

the caliber of men I've hooked

40:07

up with in the past. But hooking up

40:09

with a stranger right now would be a

40:13

surefire way for me to

40:15

be back

40:17

in a relationship with my ex. Like

40:20

I can picture it now, I would wake up the

40:23

next day. Well,

40:25

let's be real, I probably wouldn't even sleep there.

40:27

I'd probably just like walk

40:29

out. I'd probably pretend to sleep

40:32

and be like, what the, why am I

40:34

pretending to sleep right now? And

40:36

I'd grab my shit, I'd get in the Uber,

40:39

I would go home and I

40:41

would bawl my fucking eyes out and

40:44

I would feel like a mess and

40:48

call my ex and be like, everything

40:50

I said was a fucking lie and

40:52

please come over. Like

40:55

that is a one-way ticket to disaster

40:57

for me personally. Maybe it works for

40:59

other people, but I think for the

41:01

most part, like that's not, it's

41:04

just not the way to go. I also am

41:07

totally out of the sex loop. And

41:11

this is, I haven't talked about sex in a

41:13

minute and I refuse to talk

41:15

about it in like the cringy step-by-step kind

41:17

of way, like we're not doing that shit,

41:19

we're grown now. I was in the poke

41:21

me in the back with

41:24

your boner phase of

41:28

the relationship. You

41:31

guys all know what I'm talking about. Every

41:36

dude does this. You're laying in bed.

41:39

You guys have gotten comfortable enough with each other

41:42

that he thinks that rubbing

41:45

his heart on your back

41:51

or your butt or whatever is

41:54

the equivalent of saying, hi,

41:56

I would like to have sex with you, please.

42:00

are you interested? It's like,

42:04

it's kind of funny when you really think about it. Why

42:07

am I getting humped like

42:09

a fucking not

42:12

neutered dog stuffed animal? Am I

42:16

a pillow? I'm confused.

42:19

Like why are you just rubbing up

42:21

on me and not saying anything

42:24

and just thinking I'm gonna be like, yep,

42:27

that's my time, that's my calling.

42:29

I felt

42:32

the pecker, it's time to go.

42:34

Alright, roll over, face him, let's

42:36

go honey. But I think

42:41

maybe one out of 20 times

42:43

have I ever responded back to that

42:46

and been like, let's fucking go. I've

42:51

like kissed me maybe, like maybe like grab

42:53

my chin and like give me

42:55

a smooch, try

42:57

and you know stick some tongue and like

42:59

give me a little bit of a more

43:02

interactive approach than

43:05

just like the like

43:09

bumping and grinding on me for two

43:12

seconds. Like what's going

43:14

on? Getting on top, getting

43:18

on top. I

43:21

think I got too comfortable in my

43:23

past relationship. Oh,

43:26

that's like some real

43:28

self-awareness. I, from

43:31

the bottom of my heart, don't

43:34

know really

43:36

how to be on top.

43:39

Blow, okay, blow drops? Easy. When

43:43

I did the impulsive show in

43:45

Logan Paul, it made me like

43:47

literally were like blow

43:49

drops boil down to one thing,

43:51

saliva. Ooh, and I just picked

43:54

up my Invisalign today. I

43:57

could like glide right through a blow drop.

44:01

since I give them so often. Ooh, fun

44:04

tip. If you eat green

44:07

apples, this is something my

44:09

voice therapist told me because

44:13

I will speak for long periods of time

44:15

like I'm doing right now to

44:17

eat a green apple before anytime I

44:19

need to produce more saliva. So that's

44:21

kind of a look. Oh

44:23

my God, I'm gonna let her

44:26

know. Thank you so much for sharing

44:28

that tip with me. I actually was able

44:30

to talk about it on my show as

44:33

it relates to blowjobs and I am

44:36

getting my money's worth. Thank you so much, ma'am.

44:39

I'm sure she would absolutely love that. Blowjobs,

44:41

easy. Like we got it. We know.

44:45

Cowgirl, writing,

44:48

do we bump

44:50

or do we grind? We'll

44:53

not bump. What is this? Fucking

44:55

R&B. I'm talking about bounce or

44:57

grind. Are we going

45:01

up and down? Are we going front to

45:03

back? And I'm not hating on the sex

45:05

position because I know it's how so many

45:07

women are able to come. I mean,

45:10

I have, but not

45:13

in the easiest

45:15

way for me personally.

45:17

So I know there's something there. I

45:19

know it can be great, but

45:21

like, I don't know, guys.

45:23

I don't know. I don't know. That's

45:26

why, you know what? I don't have to

45:28

fuck anyone right now because I'm not seeing

45:30

anybody right now because I'm staying single and

45:32

I will just do

45:35

my homework and watch porn and

45:37

write notes because we know I'm

45:39

not doing anything else while I'm

45:42

watching it. Holy shit, guys. Wow.

45:44

Okay. That just went by extremely

45:46

fucking fast and I think that's

45:49

it for this week. I am

45:51

loving doing these solo episodes. I'm

45:54

going to keep it going. And trust

45:58

me, I read all of your guys' comments. and

46:00

feedback and DMs and

46:03

you guys like it too. And if you

46:05

do like it, please, if

46:08

you could subscribe, whether it's

46:10

like on my YouTube channel or wherever

46:12

you listen to the podcast, if you

46:15

just click the

46:17

subscribe, it helps

46:19

me a lot. A lot,

46:21

a lot, a lot. And with

46:24

that, you guys, I

46:27

fucking love y'all a lot

46:30

and I will talk to you next week's

46:32

sleuths. Bye.