0:00

Anyways, he just comes to me on the

0:02

ground and. In the mom comes into just he

0:04

lickety split right the trash. That's

0:06

my biggest fear. With. You don't' Think

0:09

records show rpg be here. regard little you

0:11

know. If a

0:13

resource you're a security camera is get outta. Got.

0:16

Now been in a room the

0:18

have thought via. We have the

0:20

best merge we've ever done. Ever ever ever.

0:23

This has been growing for weeks and months

0:25

in advance and will drop in Monday. were

0:27

job when they Mondays Mondays Mondays this morning

0:29

on a new multiplier. They're fucking fire. They

0:32

do March for all your favorite podcast and

0:34

creators out there so this is gonna be

0:36

bang and top tier of phenomenal designs. I

0:38

mean honestly gave work so hard we all

0:41

works are to get designed. saw a drop

0:43

in a row that buddy let me tell

0:45

you some so corrosive zoc shop. Dot.

0:47

Com steps are shop. Dot.

0:50

Com Drop in this mother frickin' Monday

0:52

and page on gets a day early.

1:03

March and. We.

1:28

Are some great March lot of inside jokes,

1:30

a lot of just Fucking Bangers board shorts

1:32

buddy be a board shorts and we have

1:34

probably the most far have we ever made.

1:36

Do the Hat is. Like. That is

1:39

better than the pie. Yeah, which is it'll

1:41

be and Zoom isn't like a week generally

1:43

is going to have some soft spot for

1:45

some sleepy I'm so fucking side there's more

1:47

shops going to go. Absolutely nuts. But.

1:50

It absolutely macadamia. Got.

1:52

Now Michael of Detroit Detroit loves Michael

1:54

really well. Where'd you go Worry I

1:57

just a Royal Oak that it had

1:59

Detroit. Hey, that's Detroit when

2:01

the people say I'm coming to Detroit. That's where

2:03

they're going is where I look It's like then

2:05

it's the nice. Yeah, it's white

2:15

No, the That's

2:17

what I'm doing next because you are gonna

2:19

have Soul fun treble I love it I

2:21

just somebody passed out in edibles when I

2:23

was there they stopped the whole show and

2:25

then the motherfucker Not you

2:27

if you're listening and you're a great famous

2:30

podcast was like hey, can I get

2:32

my money back? You passed out on edibles. I

2:34

didn't give you any weed. He wanted

2:36

his money back for passing out your show like

2:38

yeah Yeah, that's like totally your car and be

2:41

like man Jack Daniels. Give me money from Ikea

2:44

Should do that what do I get you

2:46

I sure if you're gonna do why you should you should

2:48

be able to ask liquor coming For some some money or

2:52

you should be able to get slicker insurance No, what

2:54

I'm doing is I'm finding everybody at the bar and

2:56

my boys come on one more shot before you go

2:58

that guy I owe you well, this

3:00

is what is how about this if someone guys?

3:02

Oh yo one more shot be like cool I

3:04

want an insurance policy through you So if you

3:06

force me to take a shot you're now involved

3:08

if I get into an accident sign this page

3:10

I think they are though still like the bar

3:12

can sometimes be culpable for Like

3:15

if you get a DUI or whatever, dude.

3:17

Yes. No, dude when I first started bartending

3:19

It was my responsibility to know what a

3:21

fake ID was Bitch,

3:23

I'm doing add roll in the bathroom. I

3:25

fucking know actually with that role. Maybe I'm

3:28

making out for all spritches over here I

3:30

don't know fucking like rich Adderall spritz, bro.

3:32

They don't talk about roll. Oh Yes

3:36

But it is hilarious and I'm sure somebody's done this

3:38

bit a billion times Which is how bars just kick

3:41

everybody out at two and that you figured out and

3:43

yeah heard the people on the street And you're

3:45

either getting a DUI fighting another man or I've

3:48

been on projects with somebody you don't get it

3:50

up But you

3:52

just release these people in the street. Yes the hounds.

3:54

I don't have a problem You have a problem getting

3:56

hard when you're drunk Depends

3:58

depends. It really depends And what I'm

4:00

drinking. I mean, but also drunk was what is drunk.

4:02

You know what I mean? Like if

4:05

you're like, if I'm drunk drunk, no, I'm done,

4:07

you know? Like done with sex or just can't

4:09

get up? My whole body's

4:11

done. My whole body's done. Honestly, good

4:13

point. Yeah. Well,

4:16

I mean, here's the thing. There's sometimes, and everyone

4:18

can yell at me, there's sometimes when I'm like,

4:20

I would rather jerk off than actually go through

4:22

a whole rig of a roll. I think that's

4:25

just getting older. Where you see what happens. You

4:27

just go, okay, yeah, if I come back with

4:29

you, we have sex. Then I'm picturing 1 a.m.

4:31

just going, so like, so you're from around here?

4:34

You're like, hot dogs? Cool, man, me too. Yeah,

4:36

yeah, yeah. So then I have that conversation. I

4:38

go, no. And then sometimes I'm just like, you

4:40

know, I'd be like, okay, I could go home

4:42

with you, but I know I could, so

4:45

I don't want to anymore. And I'm good. I just go back to

4:47

my own color. Yeah, you become like a sex oracle. Yeah.

4:50

Yeah. Why? Because

4:52

you have the foresight for a raven. You're

4:54

like, I see you doing a picture of

4:56

my raven. I look like we woke up

4:59

tonight. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, go through it

5:01

all. I'd say so, yeah, you

5:03

get all the, it's just, for me, it's the experience

5:06

of like the little things where somebody walks in, they're

5:08

like, yeah, they cat? What's her name? You're like, it's

5:10

not a fucking her, it's a he, and then just

5:12

all these like little things. That's not even a peloton.

5:15

Yeah, some girl when I was single walked into my

5:17

place. And I have this bike, which is a fairly

5:19

nice bike, but it's not a peloton. And it was

5:22

during the pandemic when pelotons were going the fuck off.

5:24

This girl was on the wealthy shot. She literally walks

5:26

in my place. First thing she says,

5:28

not like, oh, this is a nice place, can I get a glass

5:30

of water? Ew, that's not even

5:32

a peloton. It's

5:35

a life fitness bike. But it was in the right. It was

5:37

a life fitness, and maybe she was right. But I will say,

5:39

I mean, don't, here's

5:41

my- That's a planet fitness one. That's

5:44

what they use at my planet fitness. Like

5:46

fitness? You got a planet fitness? Yeah. Do

5:48

you? Hell yeah. I have a whole bit about

5:50

it. Cue it. Sasha, we're coming out soon.

5:52

What are you saying? But here's the thing. My

5:54

whole thing was, I don't want to spend all this money on a bike.

5:56

I don't even know if I'm gonna bike. It's kinda crazy just to

5:58

spend fixing I'm not gonna bike. When you don't know if you're

6:00

gonna bike or not how much was your other? Oh 350 bucks. Okay. Yes

6:05

I like that's what I'm saying. I still have

6:07

it. I'm back on bricks essentially Mongoose

6:10

you got to have a Monday. I had a Mongoose Gyro

6:14

so I could if I wanted to when I'm in the air

6:16

flip it around Yeah, they help

6:18

us. You did three. I would never use it. Holy

6:20

shit. I was a kid kid I was so jealous of

6:22

the spin and I was jealous of pegs the first

6:24

bike I got I was like put pegs on it It

6:27

was like a huffy didn't even need a pegs were like the

6:29

first uber pool if you think about Backing

6:33

you're like where we fucking headed to they were

6:35

meant for like that was what we used it

6:37

for They were meant for like grinding. I don't

6:39

know many things that are so extra like I

6:41

need to get this right need this I need

6:43

these new trucks for my skateboard. I couldn't even

6:45

Ollie and I needed them. Correct Yeah, did you

6:47

ever do the the baseball card or Pokemon card

6:49

in the back? Oh, yeah Yeah,

6:52

I went to school like that Met

6:54

up one morning me and Jesse we met

6:56

up one morning to go to school with

6:59

them and just expected a

7:01

hand job or something Yeah, you know,

7:03

it's funny is dudes with hammies are

7:05

that's just the adult version of that.

7:07

Hey, yeah Any

7:15

what I say, hey When

7:23

you're drunk, you're Brian work

7:26

hey that thing have a hammy I'm

7:31

doing a crowd work A

7:38

couple days ago he did the region downtown.

7:40

Oh, yeah, the baby in the front

7:42

row. Hey nine month old No

7:44

words. No Google gargantuan this we do for

7:47

living tits. That's what babies do living and then

7:49

she brought It but then I

7:51

didn't want it cuz she kept crying and then bring it to

7:53

the back of the room and then coming back It was weird

7:55

awkward. You can't do that get a daycare. Yeah, you can't I

7:57

had a 12 year old in Missouri.

8:01

Out of sight kicked off. asked. About

8:03

other I'd rather. Than

8:07

I was about on as another Bram home

8:09

is no theory. I ended. Up

8:12

I to twelve year old I in

8:14

the audience in season tell who buys

8:17

said you don't with our parents. And

8:19

I it was not a twelve year old kid and

8:21

I noticed right away you know because of a high

8:23

was? I don't know. I

8:26

noticed right away at all because I started my selling

8:28

how Old Are You is a twelve acres my sister's

8:30

ten and I was like cool I'm like why would

8:32

you bring He's like where he's a huge fan of

8:34

stand up. And. Were bad parents and okay sky

8:37

then i i was like you know what elephants

8:39

already out salami I was like you do have

8:41

some jokes he was yeah and i go into

8:43

a bloody have you ever performed in front of

8:45

an on is as big as he goes yeah

8:47

and I also and i welcome your own warmed

8:49

here he goes he i'm in and I was

8:51

like gonna be humble but then I was like

8:54

you got a joke and ago he goes yeah

8:56

and his mom was prisons year and he goes

8:58

i always you monday say he goes he sits

9:00

on would joke to tell and on my own

9:02

on as it goes on and I was from

9:04

the else that you want. To tell others and I

9:06

lawman introduce you, almost say your name and then like

9:08

I'm on. Go nuts and and you're in a deer

9:10

One joke and then we'll clap and you know, whenever

9:12

you know. For I. Thought it was

9:14

really cute. you know like easier to Sudanese

9:17

day. He walks up and he was. This

9:19

is my impression of me whim. Apparently the

9:21

house. And

9:24

else to hide him on say i like

9:26

that I've already I mean but I don't

9:28

want to be standing next to a child

9:30

pantomimes ah yeah yeah to get out of

9:33

friends know? yeah yeah. so I just kicked

9:35

him off. I had a seizure a beard

9:37

on him. couldn't say all day getting a

9:39

big part yes or he but my mom

9:42

skirt a yelled know and I saw. A

9:44

hammer like freak out and then they didn't even stay for

9:46

the mean green. It was a late show to. Lose.

9:49

Almost done by like midnight and like this kid was

9:51

out. Isn't that weird? Atone Emperor

9:53

The others the as as shows in Pennsylvania

9:55

I don't have in our driver's license works

9:57

out there and everybody to sort of. The

10:00

all ages but it's figure was like eighteen

10:02

and up. and then there's a six year

10:04

on the front. same thing toddler jerking off

10:06

his we Are podcast avast point. It's forty

10:08

hours before, but I remember the kid. Was.

10:12

Like. Oh. I got a funny

10:14

story for you and he deserves it on your a good

10:16

thornton and same thing six hands of the fuck you don't

10:18

use. My mom thought I was. Smoking

10:20

Weed. The Baton Rouge jerking off or as

10:22

by says I forget which one was and

10:24

then he are. We got caught smoking weed

10:26

but he said he was jerking off in

10:28

the bathroom and then he's like hi youth

10:30

troubled parents and then goes to show that

10:32

advocates the worst punishment everly Are you so

10:34

you're really and time is joy of organ

10:36

comedy Show yes like still had sought so he

10:39

was high you Mademoiselle. Maybe

10:41

and drained. Beats. You

10:44

know, the oh noes? hi, we're on

10:46

What? I

10:49

did you connect the dots on out by yes if

10:52

you are adorned with the parents brought to so after

10:54

as much as I'd like that's the best photos whatever

10:56

are you high and your job where you know it's

10:58

even better comedy when your hearts but it's it it

11:00

was. So we're because I don't know where to go

11:02

with like. A this kids yelling reckless

11:04

things and then if any was an adult. but

11:07

okay I can find the money and here I'm

11:09

a global warming a partner with. The kids

11:11

hottest about this yeah and he could be

11:13

like lying and sixteen year old is is

11:15

be like the is coming our lives in

11:17

there there does seem like a very liable

11:20

thing. Was. His parents in their gather and

11:22

assume. They. Brought him to the show the

11:24

dribbles three hours of the show. the whole

11:26

family just was on sub which was awesome

11:28

but as this is like they. Did.

11:30

Support of eventful morning spot but also but also

11:32

think if I'm if I'm a parent to defend

11:34

the pencil because I'm a parent and I bought

11:37

the tickets and I'm already going on and I

11:39

don't not going to spend more money to get

11:41

a babysitter for kid or leave kid on guns

11:43

and I'm Marissa ongoing it's it's own I hear

11:45

you and they do the right thing but of

11:47

says a lot to unpack you dear. Where do

11:49

we go from here? Was

11:51

high jerking off and he ticked in the bathroom

11:53

door and. Now. Here. Is

11:56

it is. Is it? What? What does it did you? Oh yeah.

11:58

you'd get into a while to get into hiding. Well we

12:00

have friends that are like this is weird. This

12:02

is weird to the are you can't be over,

12:04

get caught, Like smoking

12:06

or oh yeah my parents are we my

12:08

room and eight grade We will end up

12:10

with a cigarette know as my own house

12:12

or and friends emotionally yeah I jean shorts

12:14

on and that my mom some the silhouette

12:16

of i mean height little jean shorts come

12:18

with cigarettes that that is a has she

12:20

saw The box is all about like a

12:22

sort of those are good when he says

12:24

nothing on I ran I just ran as

12:26

are running Yeah because we're twelve and I've

12:28

in that tall so as to have a

12:30

Catholic A cigarettes it looks macedonia I'm thirty

12:32

six I'm zola I at it was later

12:34

us a box like this. Like day, I

12:37

ran outside when. She

12:39

started chasing me and my aunt was with her

12:41

and like they just started chasing me. may recommend

12:43

a result. He's been through an answer to hang

12:45

and only half a dozen online. my oh that's

12:47

a bad boy says I'm not. I have them

12:49

either. Other figure one time in I think nine

12:52

straight I was not a good kid. I was

12:54

smoke weed out of a lightbulb on for twenty

12:56

the first day in eighth grade. Good funny what

12:58

as a light bulb break the glass of wine

13:00

and may get some other kid who was in

13:02

seventh grade were smoking weed. he broke the glass

13:04

are used the metal bottoms of Punjab. On it's

13:06

put it into a. What

13:09

hot water bottle of the hammy I got

13:11

in his hand and we smoke weed out

13:13

of it out a questionnaire other getting worse

13:15

more the mess I was another we had

13:17

a tinfoil not knowing that you for that

13:19

you decades to be and like Mit what

13:21

is wrong with doing now either in jail

13:23

or he like worse the F B I

13:25

is t had a tsunami like that's a

13:27

pretty intuitive brain now this pretty like you

13:29

know like put that's of the light bulb

13:31

thing yet no shards of glass put like

13:33

that was overly hotline something but yeah despite

13:35

my brain. I still came comprehended our law

13:37

doesn't feel ya Limo and a glass off the

13:39

board their pumped up in I feals I figure

13:42

two been easier route to get to that. they

13:44

smoke some weed out a printer pay right about.

13:46

that can be good. there's a lot of chemical

13:48

mess. oh yeah yeah I the a foil a

13:50

thorough thing is probably the war which is a

13:53

very big you're going to a lot shaw. Is

13:55

locked all a thing that you could get

13:57

some oil from aluminum. the know if you.

14:00

Another and only one spill I doubt buildings was

14:02

like chocolate dots and will like don't get as

14:04

I get do they have the eat like nineteen

14:06

pounds of like a child of flux. Given that

14:09

opponent I could say no for dogs know because

14:11

what is no you don't you know has been

14:13

offered us a grapes. Yes, if a

14:15

great takes you out, it's over. Really?

14:18

But. When he won. Great but but

14:20

we're going to grips with Supertax. Super

14:22

Toxic. Yeah. Armor on what I'm doing. I'm

14:24

going to use. Of

14:27

go if I could. Best looking to

14:29

push the best of both Zola to

14:31

the was one. Of

14:33

but the disorder are getting. help us figure have

14:35

been running knives raid, me and two other guys

14:37

are in my parents' garage or out of town

14:40

snorting who go with i want years all around

14:42

the middle the garage in the garage dog starts

14:44

to go up and then we all run out

14:46

the back door and leave that hooker. They're like

14:48

my parents were going to be like more. They're

14:51

not here. Who. Does that? Does.

14:53

A random moved on the middle, the garage

14:55

home and at other made sense and then

14:57

i dislike like back where you know in

15:00

Baghdad caught one year old time steam out

15:02

sometimes like I'm running away and use walk

15:04

back and stuff and three hours like what

15:06

we were you fucking gonna gus here I'm

15:09

he added almost so many times on unix

15:11

like would have ever noses but I so

15:13

who's your governor in a closet. Because.

15:15

I'm so scared of getting caught

15:18

because my my mom's hated lock

15:20

doors. So. My door was

15:22

closed. She would think that sometimes popping off

15:24

their shoes some it. So. If I

15:26

wanted to leave the door open and go into the

15:29

Pentagon the costs because of a closet or then immediately

15:31

she that we you know michael way to excels also

15:33

that gets was like you're doing something crazy. You.

15:35

Could we? We couldn't. We didn't close doors. couldn't

15:38

Lot we know Lox no Los Angeles I. Had

15:41

no lot. No, no he didn't Your dad

15:43

took the glass at my door off as

15:45

a punishment and a little bit about a

15:47

as you like or what I did I

15:49

get ask him. but when it does, Muffy

15:51

took my bedroom door offerings four nights. Really?

15:54

Which is the best. Been married for the like.

15:56

Oh, good luck cutting yourself a wide open door,

15:58

but you got a convertible. Living in a

16:00

drop offs I was mostly I would do it. I.

16:03

Did for chef course What? I was

16:05

I was like a child more so scared of

16:07

like the dark and like something about a room

16:10

did adoring wide open we go to sleep till

16:12

I got the as a silhouette of a person

16:14

scares. what is that? yes but it opened don't

16:16

like know door rigorously drilled. oh gord him for

16:18

the demons and goblins Just week right and what

16:21

is it about quote the makes you feel like

16:23

no garbage can get your quilt just if you

16:25

pull up a cool if I get our need

16:27

to cover atomic bomb safe and or not it's

16:30

a hot and but what is that? the of

16:32

months isn't an issue between your teeth no I

16:34

didn't have spies. I had some writers thought

16:36

I'd honestly, I swear to grow up.

16:40

In a in of and I've had a fear

16:42

It was fun. It is run as outside of

16:44

fear Spiders as kids were my pairs of the

16:46

com and pretend spree for spiders crawling all nighters.

16:48

I wake up screaming that they're spiders or moon's

16:50

surface and it was last summer I was hanging

16:53

out my sister's years my nose trauma yeah and

16:55

it's click on both. That was it. Just my

16:57

dad took me canoe my desk for the meal

16:59

was a kid like slam on the brakes entertainers

17:01

you time is it like odds on smattering that

17:03

this is a good s. Alleges that he

17:05

was cool. I can use this as he would

17:08

take the seat of the van and he would

17:10

drive me my friends around with swerving on the

17:12

road and will I was at that point I

17:14

was his hammer. The whole for hims has been

17:16

a bit was so far as what business is

17:19

no we're closer to him, my dad simply canoeing

17:21

out of fear of canoes and spiders for like

17:23

years a know why and then I was telling

17:25

the story specifically funny or pop to arrive at

17:27

years and I was I when he went there

17:30

was like this little like damn thing with metaphor.

17:32

he couldn't sit under it. But. There

17:34

was like the boat, the tip of it. Good

17:36

knows little kids have you like laid down you

17:38

could be and in the canoe and under this

17:40

damn yes and he saw it coming up and

17:42

I was kind of a pussy as a kid

17:44

and he would always just immersive therapy me like

17:46

initiate to get me out of it and I

17:48

was like does scare spires know spies in there

17:51

so he was hysterical laughing and put the tip

17:53

of the boat with me in it and under

17:55

the bridge where there was a sit on spiders

17:57

and spiderweb box to and then yeah and I

17:59

was a screen. Me that he pulled out his like

18:01

i don't know though uma this and then for eat

18:03

like I would say months and was a years they

18:05

would have to come in and spray and my dad

18:07

was for and I didn't connect it to i was

18:09

like thirty five years old as time my sister she

18:11

was you ever years so scared of spiders know like.

18:14

That. Was it. As my dad by

18:16

came to the room like hi i guess we're

18:18

as it is for some reason is probably knowing

18:20

that he caused problems hitting home mom now the

18:22

all along that he lost my uma as a

18:25

his yeah oh really yeah and he was saying

18:27

don't tell your mother does two hundred last year

18:29

my my day at but would put for some

18:31

reason like stop losing me because also has you

18:33

kids are people are going to walk and other.

18:36

Like I would look I love six Uma as

18:38

as you know my I was hot not all

18:40

of our on nor do I was always a

18:42

jesuit. I

18:45

don't want this to be there under what I keep adding to

18:47

it. so. Now I'm

18:49

sorry. Was fully series sold out

18:52

as regular spotting though so suck

18:54

my mormon so good code my

18:57

mom. Miami,

19:01

Florida June Twenty First, Two, June twenty

19:04

third. I know years to go the

19:06

buy tickets every soaring out supported do

19:08

a certain amount of has tend to

19:11

give up on food So but Portland,

19:13

Oregon at the end of July I

19:15

don't. In July twenty fifth to the

19:17

Twenty seventh, Lexington, Kentucky. August Fifteen Two

19:20

August Seventeen Nashville, Tennessee August Twenty ninth

19:22

through August Thirty first, Tampa, Florida twentieth

19:24

of September through the Twenty second on

19:27

September. Ten beers on October. Eleven through

19:29

October. Thirteenth Tribe or was comedy. Dot

19:31

Coms Six Or Fly and Were

19:33

Adam shows up the wazoo. Work.

19:36

In a zoo. Hopeful.

19:38

Cookbook. ah

19:41

said also are love you guys august

19:43

second palm springs those tickets are going

19:45

to august ninth year cities make up

19:47

day i think literally thing as a

19:49

twenty years on august twenty third are

19:51

being gary indiana go to africa now

19:54

rode off just as good as it

19:56

has since ever six through the ninth

19:58

louisville kentucky and here comes the UK

20:00

dates, guys. September 18th, Glasgow.

20:02

September 19th, Dublin. September 20th, London.

20:04

September 21st, Belfast. September 22nd, Manchester,

20:07

UK. And then September 27th to

20:09

the 29th, I'll be in Miami.

20:11

Many, many, many more dates on

20:13

my website, blogcomedy.com. That

20:15

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Now on their do for the images as

22:03

I got a lot of six was I

22:05

got lost twice as a sport where I

22:07

got lost twice of the beach you said?

22:09

well I know short on a more other

22:12

hand I was on the unaware of off

22:14

for your little rotisserie chicken run around dude

22:16

I know what I was I would always

22:18

it. I was in and said kids I

22:20

have a foot or that means since you're

22:22

not a ceasefire this noble his ass. You

22:25

know most you said about Potbelly Object. Guess

22:28

do so much so the my fork in

22:30

pe. Teacher. When I was like. May.

22:33

Be in third grade. he was weird.

22:35

Smoke free voters. I just got his

22:37

i am the one requirement mere one

22:39

of your sources of your own usually

22:41

your your hard All of this is

22:44

your. If. It's like why do you

22:46

want to be a P Teachers. I think

22:48

it is. It is implicit. simple job is that all

22:50

job will give you those who can do to. Oh

22:52

yes he is T V. Yeah. Home

22:54

but I think about lately is it just

22:56

a lazy thing when they do a little

22:59

as they are like are also a healthy

23:01

sir are they're also like this are these

23:03

are also in our road of yeah we

23:05

say yes but the thing about of the

23:07

will have to do not run routes they're

23:09

not thrown spirals. Their desired talk is I

23:12

do that do this year I deserve some

23:14

of your check is hard drives you know

23:16

I'm enjoying sums in their my point since

23:18

heard force or whatever see like we were

23:20

change you know it's funny were changing with

23:23

him for a or locker. Room at a

23:25

giant window where the coaches sandlers right at

23:27

the locker room. Did you say showers is

23:29

none of the know when you mean either.

23:31

Wow. so think a Sphere of Wine has

23:33

a child watching series like I'm going to

23:35

have this himself. As with them just and

23:37

I really am. I did was like minded

23:39

was my note am now s crocus. Isn't.

23:42

What know about her son is one

23:44

of my advice is armed guns much

23:47

like it's fine kids. Kids were ignored.

23:49

Well. As the Eiger

23:51

as a kid is as weird. As

23:54

a personal it's a minute some would

23:56

probably. ah yeah, you know, by by

23:58

over horses per capita. What does a

24:00

P teacher And here's the thing I am but

24:03

to say this: psychosocial before but about to say

24:05

this and are now I'm realizing I don't know

24:07

how water know why my shirt results. Would.

24:09

Some point my shirt results and he goes

24:12

hey. Don't. Ever lose that six pack?

24:14

oh what's his on Weird Brody that is

24:16

weird. Weird thing that is weird put out.

24:18

But here's the thing is served as motivation

24:20

for a long time I remember thinking about

24:23

that and as like a key roles and

24:25

eleven I was literally in my in my

24:27

childhood bed. a bed much added room with

24:29

my with my toes underneath the dresser like

24:32

soccer home with those are and I'm doing

24:34

sit ups thinking about what. Don't ever want

24:36

to bring it about your be. Able

24:39

to motivation. Oh no, I was able

24:42

to. Motivation. I understand how it's illegal never

24:44

lose their oh my was his name. Doesn't

24:46

that? he's probably dead daddy. Daddy isn't

24:48

that funny? Yeah they whose name is

24:50

Mister Grayson be you call them Greg.

24:54

Do these are or vivid

24:56

seats are really focused on

24:58

students like nicknames. Or. When

25:00

they want the didn't when they want

25:02

the kids. The column by the first

25:04

save that for now pedophile and with

25:07

a please call me gradually was yeah

25:09

normally suffers major. Here's my number. Why

25:11

do I need your phone number? Three

25:13

words or the other For I mean

25:15

I don't know. I. Mean

25:18

how children are discussing. It

25:21

did. You didn't have a teacher shop til a

25:23

graduation party. Know. S

25:25

yeah that it when it related security guard

25:27

of our high school like just making the

25:29

rounds at all the graduation party by work

25:31

though it's origin with with the students is

25:34

it like described them as you weren't for

25:36

i'd like more drawn to watch lose you.

25:38

Were. For a codes. A

25:40

good as big a lonely person. Michael Richards

25:42

rules. You know we're have a guy worries

25:45

like is, Roses are my friends but that's

25:47

as decide what. are

25:49

oh that's what i am said as if we're

25:51

gonna go to like the deposit of this it

25:53

is nice for like a teacher that like is

25:55

you know this trying to help the youth the

25:58

show up to parties and be like Congratulations

26:00

bubble box. That's like the okay. This

26:02

is like the that's like the light

26:07

Oh man, I'm swinging by Lorraine a high

26:10

Yeah, I was a graduation party my man.

26:12

He hasn't got sucked off since the housing

26:14

crisis He's not doing great, but I'm

26:16

saying it's a nice It's a nice thing to do if

26:18

you're like 50 plus I think it's like the

26:20

older you get the less pedophile isn't that weird

26:22

40s of 50s are a hot zone You're

26:25

good. Yeah, what's going on here 40? Yeah 40 to 55 if you

26:27

have what is what is pedophile mustache? What's

26:32

that? What is that? I think

26:34

it's unkempt like they always they always say like

26:36

stringy hair You know like

26:38

the mustache is people care themselves because they're

26:41

focused on so much other.

26:43

Yes. Oh, yes watch those amateur

26:46

pedophile hunters on Yes,

26:48

yes, I've seen him I can't YouTube and say

26:50

I don't know why I'm like I like But

26:54

both people on either end are like the worst

26:56

the guy recording it is also like an asshole

26:58

He's doing it for clout not like the actual

27:00

justice of getting these guys off the street. Yeah

27:02

Yeah, what if the show's stage or if that's

27:04

real, but I guess what actor would on a

27:06

bail portray this guy for a day rate I

27:09

would not I don't think it's got to be real Good,

27:11

I think you're underestimating America

27:14

for a day rate and to be on

27:16

camera. I think people would do it There's

27:18

a pedophile dog. Yeah,

27:21

anyway Yeah, the other the other the actors on the show the

27:23

ones that have to play like a 15 year I

27:25

want to write a sketch about that like the

27:27

people who are writing my messages Yeah And then

27:29

cuz then when they're in person like there's just

27:31

like a 24 year old being like yeah I

27:33

just we're meeting my mommy live and you're like

27:35

mommy, dude We want to play Sega Genesis That's

27:40

why I want to know who the person is

27:42

writing these responses because a lot of times they're

27:44

undercover cop Who's like maybe 25 to 30 ish

27:47

and it's like how are they getting in? You

27:50

know, like what are they saying with better

27:52

the buzzwords? Just misusing lingo like come fuck

27:54

my butt no cap. Yeah We

28:00

can hit the jewel after please lol That's

28:03

insane. This whole this whole theme of this episode

28:06

so far is great. Oh, yeah.

28:08

Yeah, we'll cut around a lot I

28:10

mean, I Was

28:12

just curious because you said in where

28:14

the show where the the kid kept crying you said there's

28:16

a part you You can't clip it. There's more to it

28:18

No, not really I just what I did was I said

28:20

I got to address it and then I was like bring

28:22

the baby over and I said Hi to the baby. Everyone's

28:25

like, ah, and then I was like

28:27

cool. I look fine. They're fine They kept going in

28:29

and out and I just ignored it. It was they

28:31

were far enough away It didn't really bother me that

28:33

much did about it Was it just bothering like people

28:35

as they're walking back and forth? I it

28:38

was it did suck they were in the front row But people

28:40

were going to get drinks as it wasn't service So they were

28:42

going to get drinks and people were in and out a bunch

28:44

Yeah, that's theater life where people are just like in and

28:46

how come everyone needs to go the bathroom again? The drink

28:48

is in the middle. Yeah. Yeah all the time everyone in

28:50

the middle. They have to make a 900 people move Yeah,

28:53

did you have to go the bathroom is making 78 to

28:55

190 people forget I even exist I

29:00

start doing they do that I start whoever their jacket

29:02

is I just always I put their jacket on from

29:04

when they come back Oh really stupid. No, no, I

29:06

take that one chair and I have tell I take

29:08

the chair and fold it and put it behind the

29:10

stage when they come back Are

29:14

so funny like I have a one one guy went

29:16

and he sat down before no get up dude I'm

29:18

just joking. Here's your chair back. He just accepted it.

29:21

He's accepted it. I lost chair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah,

29:24

man, it's a stupid bit. But um,

29:26

so interview your question So you're from you were

29:29

born in York. You're from Detroit. You said or

29:31

nice was yeah I grew up in New York

29:33

and then I started I lived in Michigan for

29:35

like seven years My family like moved

29:37

to Michigan when I was like 15 and then I started

29:40

comedy there when I was like 22 Oh, you

29:42

did start coming in Michigan. Hey, where and

29:44

Roy look and Mark Ridley's ah Yeah,

29:47

I took a comment. I sold a cell phone to a comedian and

29:49

I was working as like a sprint cell phone store Okay, I

29:52

sold a cell phone and I was asking like what he did.

29:54

That's when I started my crowd work journey I Sends

29:59

Up your mouth. You do for a living

30:01

is are you look? I am glad to

30:03

be aiming them for a spotlight Daddy's I'm

30:05

a comedian and I do so do com

30:07

and to this day biggest just texted me

30:09

like to is really from the same far.

30:13

As. I

30:16

was like back when it was like we're

30:18

selling texting phones. How are you said as

30:20

Lg and be sly? Side of the as

30:22

it always has been three times isn't like

30:24

learn all those keepers squirting oh that's one

30:26

thousand pounds or make a lot of money.

30:28

Psyche psyche really psychic I was a side

30:30

gig was back when mike member when like

30:32

the phones would sign up to a full

30:34

keyboard all your be like though I was

30:37

the L G and the Envy. Yes

30:39

different. It was a touchscreen burrow but up and

30:41

got a keyboard There was the Lz chocolate around

30:44

your your eyes I don't have one am I?

30:46

I was what we i pad of the Lg

30:48

other I odds when I have linked to from

30:50

africa the psychic do I literally would slip it

30:52

in like my why aren't getting head right now

30:54

what I thought it was let us know when

30:57

I was using with it. Was

31:00

is the most of those Eyes are

31:02

a super clean the razor was I

31:04

kind of the I phone birdman. a

31:06

sleek insert have what set foot of

31:09

snow the your your reminiscing I I

31:11

like had a silver raising the same

31:13

with hard silver razors, smoke weed and

31:15

a light bulb. Zero have my life

31:17

Razors not I'm in Alabama on a

31:19

razor scooter with a razor asserts that

31:22

yeah I am I not married to

31:24

anybody. Want to go back then? I

31:26

don't know why. I suppose you're hot

31:28

and tell. Did have you to be seen

31:30

anybody like since I do you nice gui

31:33

death of you area where the like. It's

31:39

one of the other. Do that or it's I

31:41

saw. Holy shit she is so successful. Now there's

31:43

a few. There's a little bit of that. Yeah,

31:45

yeah. As as possible, a lot of bees. And.

31:48

Drinking Or Where? Where's Europe? Maryland?

31:51

So. yes about iraq as

31:53

lot of that like a lot of like

31:55

the women like i had crushes on really

31:57

hit me up movie tickets and another like

31:59

that They have like nine kids. Yeah. Yeah.

32:01

Yeah. I need a plus nine fucking your

32:04

friends. Yeah. Oh, no, no, come on Yeah

32:07

that I hooked up with a girl Maybe

32:11

like a year ago who was like I

32:13

had the biggest crush on her in high

32:15

school Yeah, and she I don't

32:17

know how to say it's not sounding mean but she hooked up

32:19

with everybody but me And

32:21

I like that bro that is that's

32:24

awful But I showed

32:26

like I was like, that's my that's her that

32:28

was my like high school of my everything Yeah,

32:30

you know and then we recut she came to

32:32

show my hometown We went out after and I

32:35

was like she looked at me and she

32:37

said something to me along the lines of like I want to hook

32:39

up and I was like This is this

32:41

is for yeah, I schooled Trevor.

32:43

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so nest

32:45

in And uh lay down.

32:47

Wait a second you was that where you were staying?

32:49

No, this is my hometown So I went to my

32:52

parents house or I either went home or what's my

32:54

parents? Okay, okay Okay. Okay. So

32:56

afterwards I I mean, yeah, I was going back

32:58

to LA after so on the way you pass

33:00

from my hometown I was

33:02

like meat at it was in our so we're both from the

33:04

same place I was like, oh meet at this hotel and then

33:06

I go to the guy and I was like, I just have

33:08

a backpack This is something out of a fucking shitty to be

33:11

porn film. I go to the guy up front I go. I

33:13

just need a room and he's like when you check it I

33:15

was like I need an hour to me now and

33:17

the guy happened to know my stuff and like this is

33:19

so weird I just bought condoms at a gas station that

33:21

guy knew my stuff I'm like, can somebody please not know

33:24

me in my hometown? And then yeah, we meet I was

33:26

like I text her the room I hear I

33:29

mean this is something best It's

33:31

through that fucking knock House

33:35

cleaning yeah housing but what I'm saying is

33:37

like that fucking like you don't really know

33:39

how this is gonna go No,

33:41

no, it gives you a hard jump. I know I

33:43

know your hotel room, Yeah, the hotel or even at

33:46

your apartment like I you know during the pandemic. I

33:48

was a fucking psycho So It's like so many people

33:50

come to. you know, you know, no one's going to

33:52

do a bar So people come to my place now

33:54

I can be like I don't know how this is

33:56

gonna go Which is like a scary thing, but also

33:58

like who like oh this. What's going on

34:01

is what gambling must still out there.

34:03

A resource not a mile or so

34:05

is pretty much. I was like me

34:07

to this hotel and dear the rule

34:09

number and then some then yet I've

34:12

a little bit catch up so hooking

34:14

up and that is drive home. And.

34:16

Now I still pass a hotel everytime

34:18

I go. Back home

34:21

and is just a funny memory to me to

34:23

be like yeah you know like the high school

34:25

self was like oh those are the day I

34:27

remember like one of my sisters friends him he

34:29

of ram and i was like the raw was

34:31

like oh my god. And

34:34

to. I

34:38

don't want to many liberals. It was yeah yeah

34:40

same as your i was going crazy. It's a

34:42

lot of like. Ears you like

34:44

somebody like Postal I followed her on

34:46

a by back on Instagram day as

34:48

the girl it's like where they post

34:50

like nineteen separate photo post web in

34:52

a row was like why likes to

34:54

likes and his lawyer oh she's really

34:56

not the am sorry Mrs Weasley guess

34:58

you really saw a guy the eyes

35:00

mon or whatever drugs involved I do

35:02

have like a all case. That

35:04

is forgivable. They are not to go

35:07

to do a horde of your existence

35:09

of will say though that conversation you

35:11

members how that conversation went before you

35:13

guys hooked up. Cause. That's

35:15

my always my favorite funniest time when you

35:17

think about what you guys were actually talked

35:19

about before you it's like when when it's

35:21

a clear like not I got this is

35:24

for a hooker be another on the guy

35:26

like so do you wanna and look at

35:28

as the hotel bar like so do you

35:30

wanna Dwight Why like seems like you're doing

35:32

like euro ah. It seems

35:34

a year my job. Security. Service

35:36

Hours of Words If the say it's a you

35:38

have a word middle of the have to say

35:40

a thousand words. For years ago there is a

35:42

word mental like I as you kids are open

35:44

the doors are make we can dance or I

35:46

got right of the door then you got this

35:48

Alzheimer's live with it but if you can be

35:50

if you get into a certain point over text

35:52

or whatever worried like lines are hot and then

35:54

you open a droid you go right into it

35:56

that's super hot but if you don't do it.

35:59

Then. It seems that. weird like you

36:01

almost want to be like Alexa set time

36:03

for for 15 minutes like what what is

36:05

it what is it because because you're both

36:08

feeling you go okay now we can do

36:10

it it's some weird like social contract we

36:12

have to have a little little bands before

36:14

you like make out early so funny yeah

36:16

I guess banana is spelt kind of weird

36:19

yeah it's never like an amazing thought to

36:21

know about it a sexual

36:25

one and then you lose that window at

36:28

least it felt like for me yeah of course but this one

36:30

was like it was literally after the show and then we're talking

36:32

she's like yeah he looks like really hot up there I was

36:35

like whoa I was like should we hook up for like old

36:37

times for the bit she's like we should look up for the

36:39

bit oh oh that's great that's what I want right it would

36:41

be able to be in like this is

36:43

for our high school time

36:45

sake old times sake yeah yeah

36:48

great rock yeah

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Don't even know how we got another conversation to hometown people, hometown

37:53

friends? Yeah! I Grew up in Michigan. In

38:00

order to turkey recently arms you just like is

38:02

a haze. Are you doing well just one is

38:04

like reach out the zebra six pack on yeah

38:06

say I've never with that we used to be

38:08

some some for each other I beg you Monday

38:10

when he up to now Jeffrey I do I

38:12

do not realize that he hit me up like

38:14

or as so yes on a cellphone use very

38:16

nice was like a dick this com a glass

38:18

or to the tonic water down because do this

38:20

you know seventeen has get you just a new

38:22

that's where I learned like adage goes on a

38:24

program mice and I met other people that like

38:26

a was yoga to is of my together as

38:28

crates of the initial camaraderie. And I

38:30

wasn't bad. I have auto shit on colleagues

38:32

I some I didn't learn to be funny

38:34

use learn the basics of it. Move.

38:36

The mice then you have to sync with the

38:39

wire neck and holidays is makes you like the

38:41

if you're not civil council onstage initially like it

38:43

allows you to be like a little comfortably at

38:45

all. I know it's I get your learning. Tommy

38:47

on train was revenge for some people would slide

38:49

super helpful yeah yeah didn't I didn't hate it.

38:51

I still talk of gathered thought the class he's

38:53

a comic but the guy that he sent me

38:55

there it was a year and a half and

38:57

to me doing comedy I was doing like a

38:59

one nighter in the middle of nowhere Pike two

39:01

hours from mouse for fifty bucks. And.

39:03

Always do and fifty minutes for somebody. I get there and

39:05

he was the headline. Oh shit is

39:08

a good deal on it and then like a year and

39:10

a half after that. I was doing the

39:12

headlining as on One Air. Marshal.

39:14

To the gig and he was opening and he

39:16

was A and I was like i need to

39:18

get the fuck down as he always I came

39:20

from want to be like a can of the

39:22

haven't of the reasons he was very funny was

39:25

deathly like you know there's some. Data.

39:27

Monsieur with anybody Forever but youngsters is doing fine.

39:29

Our number and bobs impetus for you will I

39:31

guess was that images for you to move to

39:33

New York. i did chicago for five years

39:35

so you it says i want to not go far

39:37

from my family of her and i was recorded on

39:40

the clubs there and they're not that i moved to

39:42

new york when i started like i want to take

39:44

it seriously do me a wider seems awesome does it

39:46

was fun it was a good time to clubs were

39:48

all like who's gonna laugh factory candy bars ease of

39:50

house him see it's a nice was reserved our allies

39:53

with and started when lot of crowd work where they

39:55

were all school where they said he had to do

39:57

at least seven minutes of groundwork to start the show

39:59

set of So I asked about celebration so I wrote

40:01

a whole bunch of birthday jokes They

40:03

would make you do as a host. Yeah, they were

40:06

old school. I don't know Okay I've

40:08

never heard of a club doing that but it

40:10

makes so much sense like when a host goes

40:12

up and just go straight In a bit it

40:14

is so weird because the crowd takes a second.

40:16

What way is it starting? Who's this guy? Right?

40:18

Yeah, right. I mean do you 30 seconds of

40:20

addressing the obvious Bachelorette party? Yeah, or even what

40:22

day it is single amount like if you just

40:24

any of that. It's like oh, it's starting It's

40:26

like a you give previews to yourself It also

40:28

forces them to pay attention because if you start

40:30

doing if the host are doing like crowd work

40:32

then everyone goes Oh, he might or she might

40:34

talk to me. Let me like engage into what

40:36

also yes the crowd feel like comfortable It's

40:38

like oh, he's the guy guiding everybody through

40:40

the show, right? Wrangling everybody in big

40:43

hey, what's going on? But if you just start doing

40:45

bits, it's just confusing Yeah,

40:47

okay. I guess there's it creates this like we're

40:49

not real to you. Yeah, did you have your

40:51

go-to? So you said you had like the birthday

40:53

bits and all that. Oh, yeah You if there's

40:55

but there's also why it was fun to just

40:57

investigate like if someone's like always got an anniversary

40:59

I'm not like oh really how long you married

41:01

really? What's your favorite part part? Like it would

41:03

be more like how'd you propose or where you

41:05

get married? Yeah, where was your first like there's

41:07

things you could just get into but I would

41:09

always have a joke about Something

41:11

if you have a birthday, I have a joke about birthday so

41:13

I could just keep digging until I was like, okay Well, here's

41:15

my thing about birthday. Yeah, did you have any

41:18

other like super classic? Like I remember the

41:20

my hometown club the guy was an older

41:22

guy Still a comedian who

41:24

taught me the class, but he would open every

41:26

show and he would have classic ones where if

41:28

somebody Oh,

41:31

it was somebody's birthday he'd be like, oh,

41:33

I know it's rude to ask how much how

41:36

old you are So can I see how much

41:38

you weigh? Yeah, I've heard that's really funny. That's

41:40

just like it is funny down the middle like

41:42

What what what misdirect and the crowd's like man

41:45

this guy. Yeah, I mean there's there's comics I

41:47

know comics that do that now a bunch of

41:49

do the This isn't

41:51

Netflix I can TV

41:54

but now we say Netflix to update the

41:56

same sentence, you know, of course, you haven't

41:58

TV. I can't hear you You know, but

42:01

I've always I always had those I had like the age thing

42:03

I Had like

42:05

had a bit about I even posted it on a clip

42:07

and made it look like a crowd work thing But yeah,

42:09

I just cuz I was so done with doing it where

42:12

If a girl if I'm like, how old are you and they

42:14

go why don't you guess? I'm like, what a fun game. Nobody

42:16

wins Like yeah the guest cuz if you guess

42:18

over they hate it if you guys accurately they still hate it You have

42:20

to go under so I pointed at a woman in the audience like what

42:22

kind of guess your age She goes. Yeah, I go. Are you 12 years

42:25

old? And then I'm like, sorry, dude. He

42:27

thought you were 15 or something It's

42:29

like so easy to just always do it and I'm like Yeah,

42:34

that's my always favorite way to do stand-up is like

42:36

doing that's what I feel like the most loose is

42:39

when I'm just Allowing the audience

42:41

allowing crowd work to give me an

42:43

impulse to do a bit already have

42:45

yeah So then you have to a

42:48

bit we yeah, you know, there's a joke in it

42:50

But you wouldn't do that bit alone in a

42:52

set right now, you have a perfect opportunity Yeah, it

42:54

always does so much better when they're like, oh my

42:56

god Recreated

42:59

the next show and like ah, yeah, yeah be

43:01

there No, dude, that's why you hear somebody comics

43:03

like I was at this show

43:05

earlier and someone yelled out blah blah blah It's like

43:07

no that happened before and it crushed and I just

43:11

That's the thing I said Should I say about like when

43:13

the people talk shit about like any type of crowd work?

43:15

I go you have a bit where you say this one

43:17

time this guy yelled out I go you that's the same

43:20

thing but you didn't record it and now you do that

43:22

same bit You're

43:24

doing is much worse Your

43:27

schizophrenic comedian, okay Yeah,

43:30

this one time somebody came out to me that never

43:32

happened. Yeah, cuz you always they always have the perfect

43:34

response right Their response is funnier than

43:36

their whole act where they're just like, yeah This guy

43:38

said that you look like quagmire fucked the sesame tree

43:40

bird. I don't know if I Anybody

43:43

in the crowd would say that you want to get all that

43:45

out I

43:49

know you I know you're thinking I look like the bubble and

43:51

everyone every time I heard like there's some that are really

43:53

good And there's some that are so off. You're like no

43:56

one is thinking that yeah, that's not it's

43:58

not even saw my head Buddy,

44:00

what is all this crowd work hate? I'm sick of

44:02

it. What's happening? Why

44:05

is everyone so angry? I think anything that takes off too

44:07

quick This is gonna have some people push back

44:09

and just kind of popped out of nowhere And

44:11

some people are better at it than others and when other people

44:13

can't do the thing that they're close to being able to do

44:16

They blame it on that thing not being Like

44:18

real like I've always made that joke where there are comedians

44:21

if you look at a comedian that outwardly speaks about crowd

44:23

work I have friends of mine that they're afraid that they'll

44:25

message me like hey, just so you know, my story is

44:27

not about you Fuck me look

44:29

at the story now and it's like oh for

44:31

every crowd work It's but also if you're a

44:33

comedian white posting that like you should always you

44:35

have an audience that just wants to see you

44:37

Yeah, you got a thousand followers post like you're

44:39

doing MSG tomorrow. Just yeah Comedy

44:43

drama thousands of followers posting to their

44:45

friends like post it for your friends

44:47

then why no one in Arkansas is like

44:49

yeah It is quite an yeah. Yeah in work.

44:51

I work in H&R block with the fuck its

44:53

crop What's even hand

44:55

I always say like you look at somebody complaining about

44:57

crowd work and then if you dig deep enough There's

44:59

at least one crowd work clip that didn't take off

45:02

and they're like, well, it's because that sucks You're not

45:04

supposed to do that, but they've tried it. They've all

45:06

tried it at some point and it didn't

45:08

work for them So that's why they're upset. I don't know.

45:10

I think you know, no, I I agree. It's

45:12

also just like It's

45:15

also just like I think when you do

45:18

it in the wrong way meaning like you're like, oh, I'm gonna

45:20

do it to get to

45:22

start selling tickets like that if it

45:25

like I think I started posting because

45:27

I've always done comedy like this Always

45:30

and and yeah, and like obviously like I didn't

45:32

know you should before this but even knowing like

45:34

you're your Michigan journey It's like your Chicago journey.

45:36

It's like you've always done comment like this Yes,

45:38

this is every my all my first 10-15 minutes

45:40

of my hour has always been like this So

45:43

it just like so happens that it got kind

45:45

of popular online, but I didn't like change the

45:47

way I do comedy for this I think that's

45:49

when it becomes like dishonest to you where you

45:51

go. Oh, oh now and now I now I

45:53

do crowd work It's like yeah, but you don't

45:55

yeah, and it's very obvious. It was Chicago and

45:57

then it was like cruise ships that made me

45:59

do it I'm gonna ask you about this. Do you like

46:04

section your show For crowd work

46:06

or is it more just throughout the night and doing your own

46:08

bits? No, I always I've always

46:10

as well as for the same before like I

46:12

always do comedy because I started in New York,

46:14

right? So I started like the village lance and

46:16

when there's like nine Irish drunk You gotta get

46:18

a show but you can't start with whoa main

46:20

T-Mobile is weird get off state No, yeah, so

46:22

I mean you can't I mean you definitely can

46:24

but so a drunk guys rap like hey Yeah,

46:31

yeah just gathering but so you you

46:33

I always I always call it like

46:35

training puppies where it's like you do

46:37

crowd work Do crowd work do crowd here's a

46:39

bit. Oh god. They don't know what's happening crowd

46:41

work crowd work We've been it out. You have

46:43

to do that. Especially where where we started cuz

46:45

it's like no one's gonna fucking pay attention They're

46:48

trying to watch the NBA Finals fuck your comedy.

46:50

So you have to do it like that So

46:52

I've always I've always done comedy that so in

46:54

essence, I guess tech things I do structure it

46:57

But it's always been the same structure We're always like

46:59

my first like 10 15 20

47:01

minutes of my hour hour 15 is always the first

47:03

hour It's always been noticed that those are when the

47:05

jokes do the better. Everyone's the most excited. They're mostly

47:07

geared up for it Yeah, I need to start doing

47:09

that a little bit more I always do I do

47:11

a thing where I just kind of beck and call

47:13

like if I'm like if I have a new bit

47:16

about VRs I'm like anybody

47:18

have a VR and then ask them and then I talk

47:20

to them And then even if I just reference their name

47:22

at the end of the bit, they're like Yeah

47:27

Help write more stuff on bits you already have

47:29

yep Oh, I'm like not put a clip up

47:31

some like what happened there I think I'm gonna

47:33

turn that into like a minute and a half.

47:35

Yeah, you know, yeah Yeah,

47:37

so you're saying you don't when do you do crower?

47:39

I weave in and out I'll say like, you know,

47:41

I just like I would talk about a breakup I

47:44

went through in January. Yeah, I'm like anybody else could

47:46

to heartbreak this year and then if nobody claps like

47:48

okay I wrote shit down Yeah,

47:50

there's a lot of people like yeah, and then I

47:52

end up talking to a guy with a top hat

47:55

and I'm like There we go. Yeah, yeah, break. Yeah.

48:00

There. At. Now. They're

48:02

all married cruise ship as low as oh

48:05

that was at work. Fit as matter you

48:07

reduce your binoculars. Have I been all

48:09

on of yeah use? I used to work some. You. Did

48:11

yesterday times. yeah do it has. Why

48:13

work them a Norwegian? I'll pay you

48:15

you that? yeah those veteran oh duhamel

48:17

out high oil either. That car corners

48:20

the scooters in the sea dogs carnival.

48:22

I never did. I'm only the Norwegians

48:24

and through like through levity. Ah but

48:26

I always heard from people like on

48:28

a comic go to the carnival was

48:30

led by you have no idea like

48:32

is a fucking shit show It is

48:34

it can put it could be with

48:36

that's where I the line for our

48:38

yeah because they would do you how

48:40

long we says thirty. Minutes each? Yeah same

48:42

and then you had to do Like what was

48:44

the zoellick? the way my was it was lot

48:46

like a five show contracts. Yeah, I

48:48

saw it was. You had to have minimum

48:50

of three different half hours one Pg and

48:52

into adult. So we

48:55

had to. We.

48:57

Had to do a sense silly.

48:59

Cents an hour and a half worth of. Herbs

49:02

or our Twenty Miss where the monsieur because there was

49:04

as big cortical like big like seat shot in a

49:07

minute, chronicled his bills and sixteen or people like the

49:09

as a whole big theater shop and you couldn't do

49:11

any. Stuff. In the

49:13

regular shows that you're gonna do on a cedar.

49:15

So so that was twenty minutes that you had

49:17

the naughty and and comedy where have no idea

49:19

what it is like? well that's onion you just

49:21

how you'd have a lot of material besides section

49:23

of eighteen or twenty minutes whatever of my stuff

49:25

when doing that. and also it's a lot of

49:28

people saying people say yes has a lot of

49:30

the same people will come back to. lot of

49:32

think he will come back to the same so

49:34

yeah like of the same much smaller show so.

49:36

I'm. Yes, we have them to

49:38

half hours for that one. Like. The

49:41

P G S version and then one are

49:43

which the people I hang on cruises but

49:45

the our version. I'm. Just doing

49:47

one. I do. So fun. but I'm just doing

49:49

the road like this is the road. Yes, because

49:51

I can do whatever the fuck out once I

49:53

think you get stuck in and we're like doing

49:55

jokes or the elevator on the cruise ships and

49:57

wave of their nice as I say I just.

50:00

In our home I beg you know he I

50:02

never though those would get a big oil are

50:04

still out there are that's always it will com

50:06

is like I never want to do any like

50:08

New York Center joke when I started are like

50:10

l he said I always was like is is

50:12

gonna do well in Ohio right? Why my spending

50:14

all this time right and a good joke or

50:16

the a train. When. I when I

50:18

go on the road northerly La mama about

50:20

this my man said soviet St the was

50:22

crucified never to increase himself because I'm like

50:25

what am I doing so I always do

50:27

like maybe like ten minutes across works and

50:29

then when he five minutes of like material

50:31

and other like right or they are the

50:33

i would like actually work yeah and I

50:35

am a lot of like to. The opening

50:37

to my special is because I did cruises

50:39

know share yes I don't want to I

50:41

guess his words you've worked for you you

50:43

you by with the on this guy's on

50:46

the cruise by far the area as. Same

50:48

with me and I remember like a friend's giving

50:50

me shit for legal, your book guy, how your

50:52

boat guy and I'm like i'm and like you're

50:54

making fun of the audience's as if that's not

50:56

the people buying tickets in the future is a

50:58

seen it is I'm a you think that the

51:00

most of the world is from Bushwick Brooklyn students

51:02

like those aren't the people you need to be

51:04

appealing to not that I'm trying to appeal to

51:07

the masses but it's it is something more I'm

51:09

like I don't want to write for a specific

51:11

nice audience I want to write for what makes

51:13

me for like last several years that that's one

51:15

thing as soon as I use a honest if

51:17

you sounds with yourself danger than your good and

51:19

that's why things sort of have friends who about

51:21

people that are like oh chromosome also me to

51:23

crawl or can also go gonna see not being

51:25

honest with yourself right like we've always and com

51:28

notice or it's like you know use this in

51:30

a subject was you've always like had we're fucking

51:32

people yell see. I've. Seen so many

51:34

times in in that's where your fog and

51:36

like monster based on from. He just likes

51:38

soccer, the crops and nothing like steals dishonest

51:41

ever lie Seattle I'll use We've seen the

51:43

bad relapse the to the ones where the

51:45

people are like dislike so either. as

51:47

like them like i started doing it all

51:49

on them when what's your story i swear

51:51

my least favorite things when someone's like a

51:53

saigon says a year ago he is older

51:55

guy and he goes to forgive ah rod

51:57

for ya forgot to get a closer to

52:00

I guess that's what all the kids are doing now. Who's

52:03

got some crazy, I'm like, dude, you are

52:05

phoning this in. You're

52:07

essentially being like, who is crazier than my set?

52:10

Hey, who got a divorce or stabbed

52:12

by a python? Somebody yell, it's just like,

52:14

bad crush. But just like, don't set it

52:16

up like that. Yeah, I had a guy

52:19

open for me, random guy that kept asking,

52:21

does anybody have a crazy job? And

52:23

he kept saying that, like every show, I was like, you gotta stop

52:25

asking. He's casting for TLC. Yeah, oh,

52:28

I hate that song. We've seen that with comics that we've

52:30

looked up to coming up doing that, where they post a

52:32

clip of like, I guess I gotta do this now. But

52:34

it's like, if the thing's already popular,

52:36

you don't need to make fun, you know? It's like,

52:38

you need to make fun of it or you get

52:41

on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a

52:43

storm, dude, and then you'll be fine. If you believe

52:45

in longevity and what you have to offer, don't dip

52:47

into it. Don't like reluctantly. Ironically. Because the people who

52:49

enjoy crowd work clips enjoy crowd work clips. They're not

52:51

gonna see you talking shit about it. Be like, I

52:53

agree. Other comics will be like, I agree. And

52:56

then the other one, I was like, oh, those

52:58

are funny. The meta posts. Oh, yeah. Do

53:00

you ever look at like some of those comedy

53:03

city, like Facebook pages? Do

53:06

you ever, did you have one? What do you mean? Like, I

53:09

was from, I was doing comedy in the

53:11

Bay Area and there was like a forum

53:13

on Facebook. Oh, for comedians. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

53:15

yeah, yeah. Michigan, it was called like the

53:17

Funny Network. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But people

53:20

would post in there, right? Yeah. Oh,

53:22

dude, every once in a while, I was like, scroll through those and

53:24

you see like what like local beef is going on in there and

53:26

you're like, guys,

53:29

don't worry about other comedians.

53:31

Yeah. Just try to get

53:33

funny. Yeah, complaining about etiquette at open

53:35

mics. Like FYI, if you're hosting a

53:38

mic, maybe don't make fun of

53:40

the comedian that came there for the forum. But

53:42

then one person would like have a TV credit

53:44

with comedy, but also take a jab. But also

53:46

just, I mean, oh, yeah, yeah. That's a drussey

53:49

obvious. But if somebody who was respecting that community

53:51

who was like on half of a TV show

53:53

would comment and they'd be like, he has spoken.

53:55

He has solved all the problems. It

53:57

might be like way too inside baseball to be even talking about. I

54:00

just remember that seeing these like forums and people just

54:02

beginning so mad at each other in their own ecosystem

54:04

Yeah, and then the higher-ups would be like I have

54:07

a saying now, right? Yeah guys. It doesn't matter It's

54:09

the same thing you're talking about when you're posting on

54:11

Instagram Sorry, someone's venting about comedy It's like the amount

54:13

of times I want to go on my Instagram and

54:15

go my stories make TikTok views on what they used

54:18

to be in and everybody wants to give this app

54:20

ban It's like yeah, do some guys on his lunch

54:22

break at an orco and Des Moines be like post

54:24

something fun or else I unfollow I

54:27

never try to put anything personal It's

54:33

like it's it's a store you're

54:35

fucking it's a store Yeah, it was a big argument

54:37

me and my ex were always getting cuz I wouldn't

54:40

post her and she thought of on some fuckboy So

54:42

I was like, no, I just like I only post

54:44

comedy on here. Yeah, we do something funny together Yeah,

54:46

yeah, and she was like you shouldn't start a

54:48

second gonna count I

54:50

said you're a cow! I was like I'm down

54:52

to post what? That was a good sign fell

54:54

by the way Thank you so much But that

54:56

was in she was like taking a personal big

54:58

no I'm not trying to sound like a fuckboy

55:00

at all Like I only want people to go

55:03

to my page to tap something and see funny.

55:05

That's it, dude And the one outside emotions. I'd

55:07

be having down bad days. I'd be depressed as

55:09

hell days I'm going to therapy as days, but

55:11

all my accounts are like T. Hee, LOL. Oh,

55:13

yeah Yeah, you ever have a day or two

55:15

that goes by no story post. I'm not doing

55:17

good I'm

55:19

not doing good. What do you got? Nothing

55:22

on the circle Not

55:24

even one point on the dog. I'm doing bad.

55:26

Yeah. Yeah I don't I never I never liked

55:28

using social media like for personal stuff I was

55:30

never like like like taking pictures of my meals

55:32

or anything like that, right, you know, and that's

55:35

why where you from? Yeah Have

55:39

you seen what Dice Clay does with his social

55:42

media? No Larry, that's the people in the video.

55:44

Did you want the picture with me? Did you

55:46

was it you that wanted it's just a random

55:48

old lady and she's like no and he wanted

55:51

the picture I'll take the picture with you people.

55:53

It's it's scary, but funny. I feel for you.

55:56

That's so fun. Yeah My

55:58

whole thing is like even with any any beef

56:01

in general, it's like, I don't know. I guess

56:03

some people, it does fuel them, right? Creatively or

56:05

whatever, they get something out of it. I would

56:07

get nothing out of it. So I don't understand

56:09

like, if you have some, I

56:11

don't know, if you're just like, if you're posting about like,

56:14

just comedy beef in general, even if it's from a big

56:16

thing, even if it's from New York or LA, I never,

56:18

I never get the

56:20

impetus for it. It never makes me feel good. Big

56:23

word. Thank you. Second time you used

56:25

it today. Impedice? Dude, you know what? If I drink

56:27

too much, I'm impetus. Impedice!

56:31

Impedice! Title the episode.

56:33

Impedice? Yep. Well,

56:35

yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were thinking, the

56:38

thing that Michael pitched is do

56:40

crowd work to the

56:42

sock puppet. So one

56:45

of you wears the sock puppet and is a

56:47

character. Okay. Any other person

56:49

is a character. Okay, yeah. Oh boy. So,

56:51

so, oh, wait. I mean, listen,

56:53

we're gonna try this again. This is gonna be

56:55

like, This is gonna be like, What

56:57

are you doing? Hold it a little bit. Wait, let

57:00

me wear it real quick and see what Michael would.

57:02

So, so Michael, you want Michael to talk shit to

57:04

the sock puppet? Yeah. I tell you, your husband must

57:06

stink. Hey. Pretty

57:08

good. Pretty good. So

57:12

you want me to try crowd work Michael

57:14

with this? Yeah, yeah. Hold on. No,

57:18

no, no, no. The sock puppet is the audience.

57:21

The sock puppet is the audience. The audience. The

57:23

audience. Racking money. So

57:25

the sock puppet is the audience. Okay. When

57:28

does the joke start? Fuck you, you whore.

57:30

I gotta go pee. Good,

57:33

go with your stinky ass pussy. All right. That

57:37

was good. That was good. It's like I'm there.

57:39

All right, so Gabe make this vertical and put

57:42

the subtitles popping right over. All right, all right,

57:44

all right. Oh, I really like your lip

57:46

gloss. Hey,

57:49

thank you, it's so fun. All right, I'm gonna go pee. Oh,

57:52

you're gross. Hey, thank you, it's so fun. What'd

57:54

you say? So far. Why do

57:56

you talk like that? Oh, you mean?

57:58

Oh my God. The single.

58:01

Ah I am were me no

58:03

easy way. Crowd goes crazy. I.

58:07

Wouldn't worry over the show, not you

58:10

with your spare guess. Saga has put

58:12

some. Ways.

58:15

Set of as a. Way

58:18

it's pretty easy to the waves observer. you will

58:20

see that like I'm sort of pitches as as

58:23

a person or whether it's a in the front

58:25

row. Yeah, well here's isn't.

58:28

Yet. They wouldn't be paid attention. Yes,

58:30

That's for sure. Yeah they an owner on snaps

58:32

you there would be either be on the phone

58:34

or like with bricks Use your fucking. So much

58:36

is when someone son of who doesn't who the

58:38

person he doesn't care is trying to talk to

58:40

the person's vintage. This. Process here for

58:43

a show. You're not a lot of

58:45

use of a window with a social

58:47

issues out the window out. Do it.

58:49

I don't is it kills me. I'm

58:51

okay with you. A seat. Oh

58:53

God. Yes, I

58:55

have two of them. A

58:57

good guess Who doesn't have you ever do

58:59

nothing. Of this oh a foot

59:02

of your they. Call.

59:06

Or. It was do it where you from. Portland.

59:09

Maine say sees him

59:11

as he didn't Ah,

59:14

I lost my sister in

59:16

a dryer. yeah, sepsis or

59:18

I'm crushing. Run

59:21

Out and Out out. As good as

59:23

our government is this dude. I've been

59:25

revised or it was good. bruises,

59:28

On his businesses were other congress and

59:30

grub are jews were say can't afford

59:33

their practicing somewhere in the valley of

59:35

I can it really that a bit

59:37

So it's a Geico more like.it up

59:39

or deliver out here lizard oh my

59:41

god I can't believe he said adults

59:44

economy I would litter big. Oh dear

59:46

me of the zone energy on. About

59:49

home on Iran or put a ring on

59:51

your pinky toe? Oh no no. Get on

59:53

your socks off and I. Sometimes.

59:56

I get it like a harmonic Los dos. Sort

59:59

of. Shot.

1:00:02

On a film. Will be honest it as

1:00:04

far as I saw club is go I

1:00:06

would be so that she looks ah who

1:00:08

the person other put a published or thousand

1:00:10

and is hannah be like dinner goods I

1:00:12

mean honestly a poor person. A

1:00:15

suit or a somewhat limited resource.

1:00:17

What about that was with on

1:00:19

the from a wall the shadow

1:00:22

puppets. Are now doing to momma

1:00:24

unable to me was your your crocodile Several

1:00:26

people could have you seen the tix eyes

1:00:28

will be will crush odds shuttle it's impressive

1:00:31

the you do like shakespearean plays and shit

1:00:33

crazy to finger someone. Yes,

1:00:36

Why The G Spot always change? Leave

1:00:39

it there. Live in the same, always

1:00:41

changing what's happening. But. I'm just saying Everly

1:00:43

and a different you just leave it. There way

1:00:45

or is a difference, like a sweet woman

1:00:47

is using one each one is a lot

1:00:49

of now that I am only one woman

1:00:51

accused moving around like all. No no no

1:00:53

no no. No, no,

1:00:55

No. Proceeds like the Dvd through mood

1:00:58

or yet. Leno's interesting is like you

1:01:00

become you with a girl long enough

1:01:02

and he become like a master of

1:01:04

their yes anatomy. right? Make

1:01:06

your before short served on a silver

1:01:09

puppet on colors lump sum for another.

1:01:11

As you thought is it's a sort

1:01:13

of our new a Women's anatomy. Yeah

1:01:15

and then you become like sensei of

1:01:17

her clitoris. Yeah any guys stop talking

1:01:19

and these how to use the same

1:01:21

moves on the next woman and she's

1:01:23

like ah wrong. How is this war

1:01:26

on. Houses wrong.

1:01:28

I'm a black belt about the i thought. It's.

1:01:31

Like. I thought I was. and then you

1:01:33

learn a little bit Reads: one's gonna

1:01:36

take all of his muse one require

1:01:38

the girl that him up radio euro

1:01:40

on like this comedians. Were

1:01:43

you going? As of his show? Footlocker goes

1:01:46

back to my hotel who you're with. Oh

1:01:48

well until I just I was here

1:01:50

with my boyfriends a pair of pants

1:01:52

with he left. His life he was

1:01:54

during the show. It will whoever he had legs than

1:01:56

it is fucking left. That sucks. I'm so sorry. know

1:01:59

that was your biggest. The runway. Oh my

1:02:01

Biggest fear. Ah is getting

1:02:03

com day in and thrown in a trash can.

1:02:05

Buy a mom. But.

1:02:08

We are mom is coming in is. No No

1:02:10

no, Just bio. Mom. not not com to

1:02:12

by Mom, just maybe like a teenage boy probably.

1:02:14

And gosh, yes, then it's easy as it. And

1:02:16

then she'd And then the teenage boy Tyler just

1:02:19

throws me on the ground like I haven't really

1:02:21

been protect his feet all goddamn day. But it's

1:02:23

okay, It's never appreciated. Anyways, he

1:02:25

just comes to me on the

1:02:27

ground. And in the mom comes into just

1:02:29

is literally split right the trash. Saturday.

1:02:32

Gets here. With you, don't. Since

1:02:34

records show a breezy, be here Regardless, If

1:02:39

a resource, you're a security threat, is it out here?

1:02:41

On Unhealthy I know about our Gm is yours

1:02:44

is is is not you same as a guy

1:02:46

who would probably invent the strangers in audio signals

1:02:48

on have never tried that but I I definitely

1:02:50

we were. I'd ever you make some in there

1:02:52

who's really dude I go to thing to do

1:02:54

you have you tried it. Tsunami.

1:02:57

Energy off I'd set. as honest as but

1:02:59

I I my mom's a nurse who said

1:03:01

have been sober like plastic gloves would have

1:03:03

liquid latex gloves. There are a solid put

1:03:05

the glove on my right hand and jerk

1:03:07

off with the latest love so I couldn't

1:03:09

so my writing wanted one glove. We're because

1:03:11

I know Jason bay area but it's it's

1:03:13

this sit perfectly August and own didn't sit

1:03:15

in slit legit on but I would your

1:03:17

of with it and in so I could

1:03:19

not might so it's like some of us

1:03:21

journals to couldn't super feel it. Son.

1:03:24

What Do you? The puppet of his. Nothin.

1:03:27

Have been ellipses to move. will have a

1:03:30

different from a kimono year yeah I'm a

1:03:32

whole the bottom that he'll ball her back.

1:03:34

Else do I have I have us soccer

1:03:36

or sock. I have a foot as a

1:03:39

heel and a conflict he wants right nor

1:03:41

conquer. Thank you sir Are a year to

1:03:43

to revisions and home for you. Dare.

1:03:45

You can pay to Virginia Beach with you

1:03:48

A guy's what? Well off their know a

1:03:50

bomb Iraq question? you were

1:03:52

literally one of the first people that i knew

1:03:54

that was murdering on right it how did you

1:03:57

headed that i know keep do an interview but

1:03:59

i'm actually inches How did that like come about

1:04:01

so I actually started I was using reddit for like a

1:04:03

decade before I just always use it I was more of

1:04:05

a lurker like I would post in like a game worker

1:04:08

That's what they like for example like I loved like

1:04:10

escape from Tarkov like a PC game So I post

1:04:12

like hey looking for group like that type of shit.

1:04:15

Okay, and then you know me friends. Yeah,

1:04:17

correct Well, no, I'll be honest dude It was

1:04:19

like a very hardcore simulator shooters So like the

1:04:21

friends that I used to buy it for friends,

1:04:24

but try it and they're like this is hard

1:04:26

sucks Okay, and I loved it. But yeah, I

1:04:28

would like do those types of posts on random

1:04:30

subreddits And then I was like there's a lot

1:04:32

of comedy popping off on reddit. So I started

1:04:34

posting with my schedule I did

1:04:36

Monday, Wednesday Friday new clips every Monday, Wednesday Friday, and

1:04:38

I was like posting this our stand-up comedy and our

1:04:40

funny Yeah, yeah, and then it was I was

1:04:43

posting a lot It was doing well, but then people were like

1:04:45

get this fucking guy off my page

1:04:47

like it's annoying So I had somebody hit

1:04:49

me up and go hey I created a subreddit for you if you wanted

1:04:51

to start that and then a few people were

1:04:53

like can I moderate and then oh God created it.

1:04:56

I was like sure and then he started a discord.

1:04:58

He's like you can we have mod rules? I'll create

1:05:00

all this I'm like Sherman and I'll just post my

1:05:02

clips there and then it became that

1:05:04

like where it was like I just posted mine and

1:05:06

then my fan just I'm doing it subreddit under your

1:05:08

name. It's just our Jeff our cure Yeah, that's right.

1:05:10

And then if one they operate they upvote it it

1:05:12

can get to the front It'll get to the front

1:05:14

and then people joined the subreddit Which just shit about

1:05:16

me as opposed to like all the

1:05:19

same comedy in general Yeah, and it was it

1:05:21

was yeah, and then they ate like the whole Reddit

1:05:24

strike Was big what I don't

1:05:26

know there was like a good I think you want

1:05:28

to say a day or a week or whatever it

1:05:30

was where a lot of subreddits went on strike Because

1:05:33

of ad changes or some okay, okay

1:05:36

Whatever it was was like a thing that was

1:05:38

like that's gonna shut ready down forever and it

1:05:41

Might the guy that runs my subreddit was like I

1:05:43

think we should go on strike too and I'm like

1:05:46

no I don't give a shit about that Yeah I'm

1:05:48

gonna just keep posting and because of that mine was

1:05:50

one of the only subreddits that was active That

1:05:52

was doing well, so people that were trying to use right like

1:05:54

this thing done yet We're like, I guess this is all

1:05:56

just follow this guy. So I gained like 50,000 in like a

1:05:59

week or something like that of

1:06:01

holy Subscribers just from that which is a fucked on

1:06:03

a reddit. It's like a 150 or something right now

1:06:07

It's like a subreddit or whatever on it. It's fun,

1:06:09

man Like it's kind of cool to be able to

1:06:11

just pop in and reply to a comment Always

1:06:16

never want to like annoy people and sometimes I post

1:06:18

so much in a week I go I'm annoying myself

1:06:20

posting this much. Yeah, the fact that you're posting to

1:06:22

your own reddit for people of you. It's like That's

1:06:25

where my favorite be if I posted to r slash

1:06:27

funny like every day Shut the fuck up, but it's

1:06:30

now it's on yours. Yep, and then it goes to the the

1:06:33

Front page and it's like you're no

1:06:35

harm. I fell right then people still dude is

1:06:37

every single post You can look at the bottom

1:06:39

where they're either saying I'm buying like

1:06:41

this guy's manipulating and buying bots and all folks I'm like, I

1:06:43

don't even know how to do that. I would have no one

1:06:45

allowed to do that She had to do it. Yeah, there's one

1:06:47

guy dude. I hit him up I was like I was just

1:06:50

you ever know every now and then you

1:06:52

get like 10 negative things and it's like the

1:06:54

10th one You're like, I'm gonna tell you Fuck

1:06:57

I'm gonna fight this DM. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but

1:07:00

I hit a guy up I was like, I'll give

1:07:02

you $100 cash. I'll Venmo you I swear

1:07:04

to God if you can get one one

1:07:06

post to the front page If

1:07:08

you can do it the way you say I do it I'll give you

1:07:11

a hundred bucks cash and he's like I will

1:07:13

make it my life's mission and then I like click on

1:07:15

his profile It's all him saying how much he hates me

1:07:17

and I'm like, all right I

1:07:19

got so scared. I deleted it. I blocked him.

1:07:21

I'm like, I shouldn't know open it. It's just

1:07:23

some guy man That was probably like fuck me

1:07:26

Like yeah, well do they get off to that?

1:07:28

Yeah, and so I I learned that lesson Yeah,

1:07:31

every single time I have an impulse to

1:07:34

reply I just go Michael take a breath

1:07:36

and then I just click their profile and

1:07:38

in that You know nine times I've

1:07:40

10 you look and you go. All right, like yep.

1:07:43

Yes Things aren't

1:07:45

awesome. So like let's not I'm like

1:07:47

social media or in general

1:07:49

just kind of kind of general even it's

1:07:51

on Reddit I don't post

1:07:53

so much but on reddit and then like just long

1:07:55

like just general social media trying to make everybody happy

1:07:57

I know I've been posing videos like 10 years So

1:08:00

like I start when things started to take up, I try

1:08:02

to make everybody happy. And if somebody sent me a DM

1:08:04

like, bro, you're not even funny bubble, I'd be like, hey,

1:08:06

I appreciate the feedback. I'm really, I'm just trying, man. Not

1:08:08

all of them are gonna be. And then you give them

1:08:11

that simply like, oh dude, I'm so sorry. Like, oh no,

1:08:13

totally not. I mean, it's a real guy on the other

1:08:15

end. Right. But Dan, I'm like

1:08:17

waiting by my phone for some guy who was just

1:08:19

talking shit to me to like, I'm waiting for his

1:08:21

like vouch of approval. Yeah. And

1:08:23

then sometimes they wouldn't respond. I'm like, what am I doing this

1:08:25

for? Just so I can try to appease every single person. Right.

1:08:28

And you're like, I'm not gonna make everybody happy. No, dude, I

1:08:30

think if you do make everyone happy, you're literally

1:08:32

doing something wrong. Right. Like,

1:08:34

but it because nine times out of ten,

1:08:36

every comment is generally nice and was funny.

1:08:38

I can't wait. I'm so excited for your clubs

1:08:41

for a while. And there's always like one, it's like you

1:08:43

get all those and one is like, I hope you die.

1:08:46

Yeah. What is happening? Because

1:08:48

I'm posting free stand-up clips. You hope I die?

1:08:50

Yeah. It is also funny that everything

1:08:52

on the internet is free. Free. Free.

1:08:55

Literally free. But that's what's hilarious. Netflix.

1:08:58

It's just like, hey, pay and watch. It

1:09:00

should be. No voice. Yeah. It'd

1:09:03

be hilarious. Well, but instead the internet is free and

1:09:05

there's a comment session, the worst combo, no entry to

1:09:07

enter and you can just voice your opinions. Yep.

1:09:10

You know what? Netflix put up the comment section.

1:09:13

Well, they took down the thumbs up, thumbs down, didn't they?

1:09:15

Or the YouTube. YouTube. No,

1:09:18

not the YouTube. The on Netflix.

1:09:20

They took you down for yourself. They would be like,

1:09:22

I liked it so they can show you more shit

1:09:24

that you might like, but they used to have the

1:09:26

star rating. Star rating. That's what I remember. I remember

1:09:28

the platform where you're putting out like, here's all the

1:09:31

things we have to offer and they're all low rated.

1:09:33

Rig it. Rig it. Make everybody

1:09:35

have five stars. Oh, there's a movie bombs. Madam web.

1:09:38

Five, 10 stars. Yeah. What is it?

1:09:41

Madam web? What is it? I

1:09:43

don't know. I know, but I know what he's

1:09:45

talking about. I don't know. Miss you'll win. I got a lot

1:09:47

of shit. You know

1:09:49

what they say on the, on the posters. Like

1:09:51

the critics are raving fucking riff. Jeff says

1:09:53

his crushes. Yeah.

1:09:55

It's all dumb. It's all dumb. The

1:09:58

internet's stupid. It's free to enter. Your

1:10:00

dollars your dollars. Why do

1:10:02

you hate me? It's zero dollar. Yeah. Yeah,

1:10:05

like well, this is what you you go Why do

1:10:07

you hate me? That's my first thought and then I

1:10:09

click on the profile and I go I get

1:10:11

it Yeah, and then you just don't come against the

1:10:13

profile picture. You're like, alright, what's up? Zero

1:10:17

post and they follow 10,000 BB go Also,

1:10:21

I makes my head at ease when

1:10:23

I go to the page and they follow seven thousand people

1:10:25

have 20 followers I go. Yeah. All

1:10:27

right. You're insane. Yep. Cool. I mean you're not

1:10:30

Speaking which dude give it to me you

1:10:32

have you seen reindeer baby, right? Oh Okay,

1:10:37

well I won't say more than this besides

1:10:39

this I found her Twitter the

1:10:41

real crazy little real one Yeah,

1:10:44

if you know her her she has a real

1:10:46

name and I'm not gonna say just for yeah

1:10:48

Yeah, whatever but it's her like

1:10:50

people I kind of and so they're replying to all of her

1:10:52

tweets from from 2016 before she Went to

1:10:55

jail or whatever. Yeah I Am

1:11:01

any other citizen it's so wild. Yeah, we're going

1:11:03

to talk about it But yeah,

1:11:05

she's like somebody who's like you could look

1:11:07

at her profile and be like that's for

1:11:09

sure her and it's all unhinged Just screaming

1:11:11

at the internet every 10 minutes for nobody's

1:11:13

looking at it Dude,

1:11:16

yeah, that's gotta be yeah, I mean

1:11:18

and that go on a light note on a letter. No.

1:11:20

Yeah, please have you been? Okay, so you guys We

1:11:23

all know there are people that do poor crowd

1:11:25

work Yeah, and there are people that go to

1:11:27

clubs and they don't have an hour,

1:11:29

you know They don't go they don't go do a

1:11:31

45-minute set with some crowd work. We've been in and

1:11:33

out They kind of go in there and mind the

1:11:36

audience Have you had clubs say that to you guys

1:11:38

like hey things were like not just being a tick-tock

1:11:40

act. Oh, yeah You

1:11:44

were like you can do some internet or when

1:11:46

I first started throwing they big do you need

1:11:48

like props on stage? I'm like now just a

1:11:50

microphone because it's just you but I I mean

1:11:52

I get it They're so used to just some

1:11:55

road dogs coming through and then this random kids

1:11:57

They're on a Tuesday night and they're like, yeah,

1:11:59

you're from the internet What do you need? Do

1:12:01

you need like a screen behind you? Yeah. Where's your

1:12:03

music cues? Bitch. What? Yeah 38

1:12:05

seconds But

1:12:07

yeah, no, I got a lot. What did you yeah,

1:12:09

that was like it was validating I would

1:12:12

always go in very very quiet the first

1:12:14

show cuz and then it was so cool

1:12:16

and nice To see how

1:12:18

quickly everyone became how much

1:12:20

nicer they became once I did my hour dude You're

1:12:23

like a legit guy that's they did a lot of

1:12:25

that Yeah, I'm like, okay, it's hard not to get

1:12:27

as insult because the wording is off But you're like,

1:12:29

I know you're saying it's a positive. It is a

1:12:31

compliment, but it's a weirdly word It's like when a

1:12:33

girl comes to show she loves you, but the boyfriend

1:12:36

doesn't know you he's like I didn't know what to

1:12:38

expect but your skits are good. You're like, yeah,

1:12:40

hold on. I think that's a compliment Yeah,

1:12:42

well that CT is kicking in but thank

1:12:44

you so much. Actually, yeah, you

1:12:46

know, I didn't I didn't think kind of where did I

1:12:48

have That recently so I did some

1:12:50

variety show where I wasn't supposed to be on the lineup

1:12:52

It was just like a popping thing and they're like dude

1:12:55

I saw your face and I was like, oh no this

1:12:57

guy from the internet I was like, I'm not gonna like

1:12:59

you and then I fucking love you. Yeah, and you're like

1:13:02

Yes. Yeah. I yes, sir. Oh men

1:13:05

fragile dudes. Oh, they're

1:13:07

the worst with like They just need to get a

1:13:09

jab in in front of the girl. Oh my god.

1:13:11

They're like, hey, you're no Schultz, but pretty good unnecessary

1:13:19

Politics but I fuck with you. Yeah The

1:13:22

funny one that they just doing I didn't know anything

1:13:24

about like my friend right there. She dragged us here

1:13:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we didn't move one of come but

1:13:29

I will say I had a good

1:13:31

time. Yeah, just say I had a good time Yeah,

1:13:33

I don't need to know the backstory for

1:13:35

this whole thing Yeah, you think we ever do

1:13:37

that without subconsciously knowing it like we go to a

1:13:39

restaurant chefs Like how is this thing you go, dude?

1:13:41

I never would get beef Wellington, but it was phenomenal.

1:13:43

You know what? Yes, they think like that too. I I

1:13:47

just gotta be sometimes we're like we're

1:13:49

more socially adept like correct But like

1:13:51

just in life where like maybe five

1:13:53

seven years ago. Oh, yeah We're gonna

1:13:56

be fucking hate mezcal, but this shit

1:13:58

is good. I still think about those

1:14:00

moments. I still think about the times that I said

1:14:02

something and then like a day later I was like,

1:14:04

Oh no, I just wonder what those moments we, how

1:14:06

we feel when people give us those back end compliments.

1:14:08

I wonder what we've done other people without even knowing

1:14:10

it, you know? Oh yeah. Like you go

1:14:13

like a, I don't even know, like your buddy lets you

1:14:15

borrow his like Nissan Sentra. You're like, dude, for a piece

1:14:17

of shit car, this thing's not bad. He's like, yeah, what?

1:14:19

Yeah. There's probably loads, but

1:14:21

I will, to your point, I will say, I think

1:14:23

we're like more like socially aware to like not shit

1:14:26

on people. You ever meet people that you're like, that

1:14:28

was mean. They go, what do you mean? What do

1:14:30

you mean? What do I mean? You called,

1:14:32

you, you, you thought I was going to have an

1:14:34

ugly girlfriend and you met her. Like, why would you

1:14:36

say that? Dude, I've talked about this so many times

1:14:38

though, when guys go like, uh, if let's say you're

1:14:40

not in the room and then I go, do you

1:14:42

see Justin's girlfriend? And then the other guy goes, as

1:14:45

long as he's happy, that's the craziest thing you say.

1:14:47

As long as he's happy. And I've heard people say

1:14:49

that I'm like, that's insane. Yeah. I had

1:14:51

a guy come up to me and say, you look like you'd have an

1:14:53

Asian girlfriend. And then I was like, what the fuck is that supposed to

1:14:55

mean? And I'm like, oh, we both did bad on that one. I

1:14:59

should not have been insulted. Yeah.

1:15:01

Yeah. When my, uh, it's,

1:15:04

I brought my girlfriend to this

1:15:06

like big like family party and

1:15:08

my, my girl was like getting the

1:15:10

drink or something. My cousin came up with your family. Yeah. My,

1:15:12

my family, my cousin came up to me and was like, yo,

1:15:14

your girl. And I'm like, what

1:15:17

do you, you can't like thank you, but

1:15:19

also why are you hard right

1:15:21

now? You got a thick back on her.

1:15:24

But like, it's such a weird, like, it's a common, but

1:15:26

also like, this is too much. It's

1:15:29

too much. But like, oh, buddy. Yeah.

1:15:31

Yeah. There are some

1:15:33

guys that need that though. You're

1:15:35

right. I've showed a guy, a girl I was seeing and

1:15:37

he goes, I'm not into it. And I go, you

1:15:40

don't have to be good. Oh yeah. They're showing up

1:15:42

like if you're seeing their validation. Yeah. I'm like, I

1:15:44

don't want to go to my top sleep with my

1:15:46

girlfriend. I want to. You're right. The weirdest thing is

1:15:48

when you, when you get like, Hey,

1:15:50

check on my new girlfriend. Like, and I

1:15:52

don't ask you. I go, wow. Yeah. It's

1:15:54

weird. You need, you need this win right

1:15:56

now. You need it. I have like a

1:15:58

gal comic. Friends that I'll be

1:16:00

like like guys like see what the guys are

1:16:02

sending out there. Oh, yeah, they should they send

1:16:05

them like god damn, dude I need to work

1:16:07

out Yeah

1:16:09

ever That cock I'm jealous mix.

1:16:11

I don't I never had a girl like show

1:16:13

I've never seen one I've never seen

1:16:16

like a random dude nude in

1:16:18

the wild like I've never had a drop no for it I'm

1:16:21

maybe realize I was not I don't have the artistic

1:16:24

Fucking lens for it. I I've seen like

1:16:26

what they've sent like where they have like

1:16:28

the mirrors like wiped only partially So

1:16:31

they're like fuzzy but like that now like that's

1:16:33

like wow. I'm learning from it. Holy. Yeah, but

1:16:35

I don't I love that I've

1:16:37

been studying it. Yeah, I have a whole folder on my

1:16:40

phone You

1:16:46

know two questions then get out of here and let's do

1:16:49

it in your way. It's been so fun Yeah, let's get

1:16:51

back to downtown LA Everything

1:16:54

can't Yeah, I

1:16:56

yeah, I passed. I'm not used to like I'm used to homeless

1:16:58

people in New York Yeah But I was like on the way

1:17:00

to the show the other day and it was like a homeless

1:17:02

guy and I remember like he Looked up at me like this

1:17:05

and I go how are ya? Like I said, I I

1:17:07

remember saying that Not

1:17:09

great. Yeah, you know, it's probably commenting

1:17:12

on my fucking videos Like

1:17:16

go ahead sorry, what is your I was gonna fucking say remember

1:17:18

I was like bombing I could remember what I was gonna say

1:17:20

Okay, when I when I

1:17:22

started doing crowd works because sometimes it's like 10 sometimes it'll

1:17:24

be like 20 minutes depending on if it's like fun I'll

1:17:27

always say like if I if I feel like I'm

1:17:30

going long on crowd work I'll always let the audience

1:17:32

know that I'm like if you guys are here for jokes I

1:17:34

swear to God there's gonna be like an hour of jokes

1:17:37

But like but this is like fun I want to get to know

1:17:39

you guys before I jump in the jokes But I always have them

1:17:42

in the back of my head were like not

1:17:44

everybody's here like for this So

1:17:46

people like watch stand-up on Netflix and

1:17:48

like oh, I I think this is gonna be

1:17:50

like this So it just always I was I

1:17:52

and say the whole show. Yeah layers Yeah,

1:17:55

it's ask you if you ever do that cuz like cuz I've seen

1:17:57

some of your clips where they're like sometimes I mean, they're like fire,

1:17:59

but they're like fuck Five minutes long so I

1:18:01

always wonder like there's probably more

1:18:03

of those five minute things baked into a show Yeah,

1:18:05

I was just I was wondering if you ever like

1:18:07

sort of like yeah, yeah, I do I start every

1:18:09

show the same way where I say A

1:18:13

lot of you guys may seem like I go I edit

1:18:15

them my clips I edit my clips and I go I

1:18:17

edit them myself I get to curate what goes up I

1:18:19

get to pick the best moments from every show and sometimes

1:18:21

there's none like keep that in mind Oh, I'm gonna dip

1:18:23

into you guys and talk to you guys and bring you

1:18:25

into it But don't expect everyone to have an insane take

1:18:28

and like, you know, it's just a conversation And then

1:18:30

I did a thing for a while where I'd say

1:18:32

like what's your name, sir? I always look for a

1:18:34

fucking the most boring dude. Yeah, he's like I T

1:18:37

and I'm like, okay cool Thanks for coming. See I'll

1:18:39

never talk to you again Okay,

1:18:42

I set them up for that might happen there are times

1:18:44

I just dip out I just go Yeah,

1:18:49

I do that and then I'll do I'll

1:18:52

preface the show a little bit with that like that And

1:18:56

it's I think it's good to set the pace I

1:18:58

used to do a thing where I used to say how I wanted

1:19:00

them to interact with me and Then I

1:19:02

had like someone tell me like that's a little teacher

1:19:04

II cuz I'd be like listen You

1:19:07

don't if you don't want to participate like you won't be

1:19:09

part of the show unless you want to be part of

1:19:11

the show I'm not gonna point at you and be like

1:19:13

you need to talk now What I do is

1:19:15

I have a reason to bring something up and if you have

1:19:17

a if you like relate to it Make some

1:19:19

noise and then I'll ask you about it But

1:19:21

don't go like yeah, and I'm like, oh really

1:19:24

and then you're like, well, no, why are you

1:19:26

talking to me? Yeah, biggest puppy people balk on

1:19:28

their participation Like when

1:19:30

they when they're like not everybody why me

1:19:32

do yeah, yeah, some crazy who's that guy?

1:19:35

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I used to do a thing where I'd turn the

1:19:37

house lights up make everyone point out Yeah,

1:19:41

I've ruined relationships before Damn,

1:19:43

yeah, dude people don't really well, I

1:19:46

don't really people do yourself I just don't engage

1:19:48

with them but like I I feel as though

1:19:50

because I put out so much crowd work that

1:19:53

and People yell some stuff that I

1:19:55

feel like oh people always gonna yell stuff.

1:19:57

They really don't though. It's not really that bad

1:20:00

No, it's not. I've had people ask me that question a

1:20:02

lot. Like, do you think that, you know, crowd workers caused

1:20:04

this and that? And I go, I think an obnoxious asshole

1:20:06

was always gonna be an obnoxious asshole. I don't think him

1:20:08

seeing two of my clips was like, well, I know what

1:20:10

I'm gonna do when I get there. Yeah, and I think

1:20:13

it's different, and maybe they do. Maybe they do look at

1:20:15

the clip like, oh, I know what I'm gonna do. And

1:20:17

then you get there, and you're in a room with a

1:20:19

ton of people, and you're like, yeah, I'm

1:20:21

not gonna be an asshole. It's easy to all be

1:20:23

an asshole in the den. But like, if you're in

1:20:25

the, you know what I mean? You're not gonna yell

1:20:27

some stuff out. Yeah. Yeah, we're

1:20:29

gonna do a, we're gonna do a sock talk

1:20:31

question today. This is an audience write-in that comes

1:20:33

from Daniel today, and he says, I'm

1:20:36

curious if you guys would be able

1:20:38

to pick out which chicken nuggets come

1:20:40

from which fast food company. Oh,

1:20:42

I'm gonna crush this. Um, how are we?

1:20:45

Let's see. Okay. That's

1:20:48

gotta be Burger King, no? That's Burger King for

1:20:50

sure. Yeah, the crown. Okay. All

1:20:52

right. I think all three of us will say

1:20:54

that's Burger King. Yep, correct. This is Burger King.

1:20:56

Yes. I just thought they always did the sticks.

1:20:59

Chicken fingers. You

1:21:01

call chicken fingers? Chicken fries. Chicken fries. The chicken's fries.

1:21:03

That's right. Chicken fries. I thought you were calling chicken

1:21:06

tenders for a stick. And I'm like, you know what?

1:21:08

I'm gonna post on your Reddit. All

1:21:12

right, guys. So here's the next one.

1:21:14

Chick-fil-A. Yes, correct. Chick-fil-A. Yes,

1:21:16

I knew it. That's a low nugget right

1:21:18

there. Two for two right now. What

1:21:22

about this? It's gotta be... Those are

1:21:24

frozen something. I

1:21:26

said McDonald's. It could be Tyson. I thought it was... No,

1:21:28

the others were. Those give me a Wendy's

1:21:30

vibes. Well, let me see. Kind

1:21:33

of like the oblong shape. I

1:21:36

mean, that chicken does not look good. I don't know if

1:21:39

I'm starving. It's gonna be inside our front door. It

1:21:42

does. We've got

1:21:44

one for Wendy's. Can we have a

1:21:46

list? Are you sure these are all fast

1:21:48

food? Yeah, they're all fast food. No, no list. Okay. I'm

1:21:52

gonna say McDonald's on that one then. I'm

1:21:54

going to go Wendy's. I'm gonna go Wendy's.

1:21:56

There's too much breading for McDonald's. McDonald's is

1:21:58

really thin breading. And it's almost like

1:22:00

a like a paint painted.

1:22:03

Yeah, like a smooth this

1:22:05

or a Tyson No,

1:22:08

it's not tight cuz it's just fast food. That's

1:22:10

why I said frozen up top. It looks like

1:22:12

a frozen No, I mean Wendy's but I think

1:22:14

that's a Wendy's value menu chicken nugget right there.

1:22:17

You're three for three. There's a way Nugget

1:22:20

Savant over here. Yeah, we go

1:22:22

forth. That's Yeah,

1:22:25

cuz you can just tell by the waves. Yeah. Yep.

1:22:28

This is McDonald's right here Let's

1:22:30

go a little tougher here. Buffalo. Walley's

1:22:34

no not Buffalo. Well, what's this? Whatever

1:22:41

restaurant that is they don't look like that when they come

1:22:43

out that's for damn. This is the whole of this is

1:22:45

a This is a fast food

1:22:47

restaurant raising canes No,

1:22:51

Popeyes. It's all right. We'll give

1:22:53

you a hint. It's not as popular as the

1:22:55

other one. Oh jangles This

1:22:58

is Sonic Sonic I didn't even

1:23:00

know that had nuggets. I would everything is salty bitch.

1:23:02

You get a slurpee in a bitch Sonic

1:23:05

fucking blows the second really idiots off

1:23:07

to goddamn rollerblades. They sold out. Oh,

1:23:09

he's walking to my car I don't

1:23:11

like it. Great put the healers on

1:23:13

Sharon. I Yeah,

1:23:15

when they used to roll out dude, some fun dude, I was

1:23:18

in college. I went to college in the south Dude, there were

1:23:20

so many sonics in the south hot as

1:23:22

women Yeah, just little boot in like it

1:23:24

was an August was hot as fucking south

1:23:26

on just little booty shorts come. Oh All

1:23:30

right, last one Oh That

1:23:35

kidney stones No,

1:23:37

I'm not buys. Yes, it

1:23:40

is. Yes, it is hundred-percent. No,

1:23:42

not Popeyes really that's Bojangles That's

1:23:45

KFC. Okay.

1:23:47

Yeah, but there she doesn't look like that. I don't

1:23:50

know I need stone dude It's

1:23:53

so gross to look at it thinking that yeah Yeah,

1:23:55

pull up a- Pull

1:23:58

it up. Is that what a kidney stone looks like? I've never

1:24:00

seen what a Kenny's own looks like. Yeah, it's like

1:24:02

no, I've never had one. Yeah I think that's like

1:24:04

when you're extremely dehydrated. Oh, that's the injured ice clay

1:24:06

thing Well, I had to dig through till 2019 to

1:24:09

find it. He I'm in one of his videos for

1:24:11

Instagram 2019 I was trying to you or did you

1:24:13

find it? Yeah, I told you I have massive beef

1:24:15

with injured ice clay You

1:24:18

do damn? Maybe you

1:24:20

should take it to the hickory dickory dog getting

1:24:22

some zoomed in though. Oh Jesus Christ

1:24:30

I Did

1:24:35

really well in that hell yeah really y'all him

1:24:37

I got every single Where

1:24:41

which one do we get wrong that I thought

1:24:43

oh the taste of the fries how those gonna

1:24:45

crush? Yeah Yeah, I think we can crush the

1:24:47

look of fries Yeah, how

1:24:50

do I do? Has it so they saw like yep,

1:24:52

when we thought they all have a very big thing.

1:24:55

Yeah skin on it I will say what is the

1:24:57

worst fast food nugget? Already

1:24:59

have one block unloaded wrong.

1:25:02

I mean in my opinion. That's crazy. They wrong guys

1:25:04

I don't think I've had a nugget in life. Really

1:25:06

like a spy fast food night. No, do you eat

1:25:08

fast food? Sometimes

1:25:11

like oh, no. Yeah, not really like a

1:25:13

burger No, but I get like rap like

1:25:15

a love chick-fil-a raps a level like raps like that. So

1:25:17

you want to play you get raps Yeah,

1:25:19

wow. I know. I thought I knew you dude. It's

1:25:22

crazy. I bring Chris Anthony. What the hell? Yeah,

1:25:24

you don't get you don't get the spicy you

1:25:26

don't get a sandwich no No,

1:25:29

I get like that's my thing is my

1:25:31

mother has a little bit. Whoa My

1:25:34

mother has a rhythm my table in them sucks,

1:25:36

dude. It's like if I have bread like yeah, I don't

1:25:38

How's it eating on the road? Better

1:25:41

you guys have crazy riders or no. I've

1:25:43

my ride is gonna get a little more precise I'm

1:25:45

learning my you need to add shit to it Yep

1:25:48

Because I was in one of the improv and I found a

1:25:51

couple comedians Riders and I was like I can ask

1:25:53

for way more. I asked for one Celsius and a

1:25:55

chicken wrap That's all I asked for my that's a

1:25:57

great guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I had before so

1:25:59

I got I need a lot of caffeine and

1:26:01

very little food, but some substance. Yes. Yeah. But

1:26:03

that I was looking, it was like he has

1:26:05

like nine different types of olives he requires. Holy

1:26:08

shit. That's, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

1:26:10

That's so much. I do love olives. I might have

1:26:12

to give that a whirl. Give it your own house.

1:26:14

Yeah, I'm gonna fuck around. Yeah. I'm

1:26:16

gonna throw some on there, some sour skittles. Yeah,

1:26:19

they're good. Flushlight. I've already told everyone this, but

1:26:21

you know what I've thrown recently? Uncrustables. And I

1:26:24

know you're not a big sandwich guy, but I'm

1:26:26

telling you, just one uncrustable in-between shows gives me

1:26:28

enough protein and sugar to go. It's really

1:26:30

nice. Sugar, yeah. Yeah, I don't like to eat

1:26:32

a bunch in-between, but one uncrustables. There's

1:26:35

somebody just to watch him eat an uncrustable and

1:26:37

then just roast the crowd. Oh yeah. There's

1:26:39

jelly coming out. You fucking pussy!

1:26:41

It's your jelly, I'm gonna eat

1:26:43

it. Oh, I'm gonna

1:26:46

have to ride. I want an 85-year-old Vietnamese

1:26:48

man in my green room. For what? Mavashe.

1:26:50

Vibe. Oh. Just for the vibe.

1:26:52

Let's see if they read the rider. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's

1:26:54

87. Is that okay? Get him out. Get the fuck out

1:26:56

of here. It's not what I asked for. We

1:26:58

got one last question and then we'll... Yeah,

1:27:01

this one's actually not a question, more of

1:27:03

a confession. Oh, good. Needed to get it

1:27:05

off their chest. Anonymous submission says

1:27:08

that I hate

1:27:10

Boston so much that for

1:27:12

the last three years, I've

1:27:15

been nutting on this. You're

1:27:17

about to show us? Oh! What

1:27:20

the fuck did you show us? Fuck! Get it off!

1:27:22

Get it off! All right, here we go. That's worse

1:27:24

than the chicken nuggets. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.

1:27:26

First of all, it looks like a barnacle. Second of

1:27:28

all, I think you

1:27:30

secretly love Boston because you can come

1:27:33

to Boston. Bukaki in Boston.

1:27:35

Yeah. Title. Then you're into

1:27:37

it. I think your hatred is

1:27:40

crossing over into eroticism. That's just...

1:27:42

If that guy pulls out and

1:27:44

comes on the girl he's dating, is he saying he hates

1:27:46

her? I think that's kind

1:27:49

of a love. Yeah, I think that's a love. Imagine

1:27:51

finding that in your son's room. I

1:27:54

mean, if you're a Yankees dad, you're probably going to be excited. The

1:27:56

dad will join. Oh, yes.

1:28:00

I didn't I did not need to see that I did

1:28:02

I like it's really bad It's not quite as good. Did

1:28:05

you guys well you you probably remember this you've been on

1:28:07

reddit the cum box. Yeah, come by Oh, it's classic. I

1:28:09

think maybe showed it to you I thought the guy for

1:28:11

like five years just came in a box like a wood

1:28:13

like a shoe box kept under his bed It was atrocious.

1:28:16

It was you know, like an experiment. Yeah,

1:28:18

I think it turned into an everything on

1:28:21

reddit is an experiment You know, yeah, I

1:28:23

got pissed drawer now. There's like sequels piss

1:28:25

drawer. This drawer. You're gonna see this drawer No, it's pretty

1:28:28

nasty. Can't just pee in a drawer like a dresser

1:28:30

drawer. Just full of piss like It

1:28:34

has to I think there's a picture of it. I

1:28:36

don't know that much about it We weird if I was like it was

1:28:38

the year was 2023. Yeah, now I feel like you know a lot about

1:28:41

now you're holding back Clean

1:28:45

the hat And

1:28:48

it's not even like a great surface to

1:28:50

finish on no, it was like a baseball

1:28:52

dad hat like you know You have the

1:28:54

name Jersey. I mean honestly get

1:28:56

a life. Yeah, that's so weird. I mean,

1:28:58

it's clean wild. Yeah Wow

1:29:03

You hold on did he so he hates the

1:29:05

city that much or the Red Sox that much?

1:29:07

Yeah And also can

1:29:09

we talk about what the fuck happened in

1:29:12

Boston that he hates to play so

1:29:14

much Yeah, I'm assuming it is like he's a Yankee

1:29:16

sport. Yeah, it has to be sports related I think

1:29:18

this seems like something Jack would do right? No Jack

1:29:23

Would you yeah, there's nothing I mean that's yeah,

1:29:25

but you insane cowboys you would do something

1:29:27

for a Cowboys Jersey You

1:29:31

say come I'm

1:29:35

glad I'm glad this checks out bro. Can we

1:29:38

please show? Jack

1:29:40

you know the name of this fucking what's it

1:29:42

called sidewalk sidewalk talk in New

1:29:44

York Where they're yelling about when

1:29:46

they win the next one. It's the funniest fucking

1:29:49

do you see it, too? Yeah, there's you all

1:29:51

beat. It's have you seen it. You're not sports

1:29:53

guy. I really big dude. It's so goddamn funny

1:29:55

Yeah, when they're with those. Oh, do you see

1:29:57

it? Yeah, holy shit. Let's just so Jeff Get

1:30:00

out of here show goddamn funny Let's

1:30:04

closer. Oh, where have you seen it? Is it like a tick tock? Instagram

1:30:07

so New York does

1:30:09

have great unity when it comes to things like that. Yeah,

1:30:11

and then oh dude and then Akash Showed

1:30:14

the Dallas version of it. It is Pathetic

1:30:16

really? Oh, dude They try to like do

1:30:18

the same thing and it's like it is

1:30:20

the literally the difference between how insane people

1:30:22

that live in New York Versus the quote-unquote

1:30:24

insane to live in Dallas the miracle.

1:30:27

It doesn't even like track It's

1:30:30

just it no, that's some 20-21

1:30:32

go to their just hit their account

1:30:35

It should be the most recent. It's got to be like one. Oh The

1:30:39

kid the kid the kid that sounds horrible I

1:31:07

Love that kid. Oh my god. Well, there's

1:31:09

one thing they do it We

1:31:11

did do the septum Pearson receptive whatever the fuck

1:31:13

piercing He takes your on them beans Jersey and

1:31:15

just starts wiping is that this is a different

1:31:17

cut having oh, dude It's

1:31:19

so fucking funny 14 seconds, but this is probably

1:31:22

a full. Yeah one that's full. Oh, so funny

1:31:25

So is that a podcast that is a podcast

1:31:27

podcast? Where do we do it? I mean, I

1:31:29

think everything's probably sold out. I'd imagine but yeah,

1:31:31

we're working. I think we're working on like fall

1:31:34

right now Yeah, what's right? What we're ever carry

1:31:36

calm and then yeah the subreddit is reddit.com/ever carry

1:31:38

and if you guys uh, this roar Yeah, we'll

1:31:40

post something about this. Yeah, you know what I

1:31:42

mean? Like fuck it. You guys create your own

1:31:44

subreddit, man Do I mean I've

1:31:46

been posting on reddit, but I don't what how do

1:31:49

you create your own one? I don't know

1:31:51

how right and where you want to listen to Google really?

1:31:54

No, you shouldn't see my Google history I

1:32:00

It's your! Alright. Oh

1:32:02

there it is. Good night. Good

1:32:04

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1:32:06

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