0:00

Nobody knew that healthcare could be so

0:02

complicated. Trump was a failure on healthcare.

0:04

Hundreds. Of thousands of Black Americans

0:06

off healthcare insurance that is. Outrageous.

0:08

And if he's president again, he would kids

0:10

or insurance for millions more of us. We.

0:12

Cannot go back. President Biden and

0:15

vice present Harris have lowered. Healthcare

0:17

premiums and expanded coverage the black families.

0:19

They also kept the price of insulin

0:21

thirty five dollars. Joe Biden is again

0:23

the job done for people just like

0:25

me. I'm Joe Biden candidate for President.

0:27

My previous research paid for by by

0:29

to. For President. Welcome

0:31

to the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

0:36

Conversations with online strangers.

0:39

We place ads online. Craigslist

0:41

is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real

0:43

people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand.

0:46

You cannot do it. The temptation is just

0:48

too much. It's a real problem. Does your

0:50

friend know that you're banging her? No, he

0:52

has no idea. And anything goes. Model of

0:54

the show. Let your group flag fly. Probably

0:57

the only good advice I'll ever give you

0:59

is to rehide your whips and chain. Here

1:02

is your host, Kathy. Hey,

1:04

welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy.

1:06

If you haven't followed the Strictly Anonymous podcast,

1:08

you have an Instagram or Twitter. Follow

1:11

me at strict anonymous. If you want to

1:13

be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous

1:15

because I change everybody's voices. And

1:17

sometimes I sing my intros. If

1:21

you have a naughty, interesting secret that you

1:23

want to talk about while remaining anonymous or

1:25

not anonymous, you could be on the show.

1:27

Send me an email strictly anonymous podcast at

1:30

gmo.com or go to my website, strictly anonymous

1:32

podcast.com and click on be on the show.

1:34

Now, if you have a naughty confession that you want to leave

1:36

on my naughty confession line, you could do that 24 seven. The

1:39

number C four seven four two, oh three, five

1:41

seven nine. That's three four seven four two, oh

1:43

three, five seven nine. Do not call me when

1:45

you're fucking driving. I will never use those confessions

1:48

anymore. They just sound like shit. Call from a

1:50

quiet place. Put the phone up to your ear.

1:52

You got four minutes. Leave a message in. If

1:54

you need longer, just call back. I change the

1:57

voices there now too. Now

1:59

all. Some of those confessions make

2:01

it onto a naughty confessions episode. The

2:04

rest of them go onto my Patreon and

2:06

my Patreon is a really great fun community

2:08

that you could join.

2:10

It is now $7 a month and you

2:13

get a ton for that. You get all

2:15

the anonymous pics of all of my guests.

2:18

Practically every single female has sent in a sexy

2:20

hot pic of herself over there.

2:22

You also get all the anonymous

2:24

confessions. You also get Q&A's where

2:26

I answer questions that people have

2:28

for me. You also get

2:31

all of my episodes early in ad

2:33

free and you get

2:35

access to my private Discord which

2:37

is a great community as well.

2:40

What's great about Discord is you get

2:42

to post stuff yourself. Pics, videos, whatever

2:45

you want. There's a lot of different

2:47

channels in there. Hookup channels, bi channels,

2:49

general question channels, pics of guest channels,

2:51

naughty pics of listener channels. So

2:54

I'll go down to my Discord in

2:57

order to get access to everything I just told you about

2:59

including my Discord. Just join my Patreon. It's $7 a month.

3:03

You can cancel it any time.

3:05

It's patreon.com/strictly anonymous podcast. I also

3:07

wanted to tell you about sdc.com.

3:11

That is the Swinger Lifestyle Dating

3:13

app that I recommend the most

3:15

now and I get

3:17

to offer all of my listeners a free

3:20

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3:22

or just go to the description and

3:24

click on the link and you're going

3:26

to get a free trial of SDC.

3:28

What's great about SDC is it's not

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just a hookup app where you're going

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3:36

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3:38

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3:40

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3:44

to get a free trial. So just go to

3:47

the description, click on the SDC link or go

3:49

to sdc.com and put in my code Now,

3:53

I did beg

3:55

for reviews recently because I was like really close to a

3:57

thousand and so many people listened. I've never begged before. I

3:59

always felt weird about it, but now I just should do

4:01

it all the time because I got so many people Giving

4:04

me really nice reviews. Thank you to everyone that wrote

4:06

a review Thank you to everyone who just pressed five

4:09

stars I saw I got a ton

4:11

of them so keep doing I read all of

4:13

the reviews and I love them So thank you

4:15

for that and keep doing it. Like I said,

4:17

even if you can't write a review just press

4:19

five stars So today I have on Bella Bella

4:21

has a very super interesting story She's one of

4:23

those religious girls that Got married

4:25

real young and then left her marriage and

4:28

started living it up and she

4:30

is a real unicorn Of course as a unicorn she's

4:32

had a lot of success and hooked up with a

4:34

lot of couples and done a lot of things She's

4:36

also very into women. She's hooked up with a

4:38

lot of women. She goes into all of that.

4:41

She considers herself Polly She's very into by guys

4:44

She is currently living with a chick She talks

4:46

about how she met her how they wound up

4:48

living together Who they fuck around with

4:50

because they're all very open and she's like I

4:53

said has had a lot of experiences with couples

4:55

She digs that she loves being a unicorn She

4:57

also loves hanging out Like I said with women

5:00

and we talk all about it and she does

5:02

love being Polly and she explains exactly what Polly

5:04

means to Her and how she sets up her

5:06

Polly life Like I said, this

5:08

was a young girl who was like Mormon and

5:10

then changed and now she's living it up She

5:14

couldn't be happier. So it's a super interesting

5:16

story I do have hot

5:18

pics of her over on my patreon patreon.com

5:20

strictly anonymous podcast. Anyway, I'm gonna be right

5:22

back on with Bella Hi

5:30

Bella, welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast, how are

5:33

you today? I'm doing

5:35

good Kathy. Thank you for having me. No,

5:37

thank you for coming on You sound like

5:39

you have a very interesting story. I do

5:41

know you have an ex-husband and now you're

5:43

like a unicorn You're

5:45

into chicks, that's for sure and you had a

5:48

very hot hookup with one of your great friends

5:50

I think you said while you were married Yeah,

5:53

you enjoy being a unicorn to couples and you have

5:55

some stories about that. So, I don't know Where should

5:57

we start? Should we start like when you were? married

6:00

and did you and your husband

6:03

like wind up hooking up with your friend or was that

6:05

like a cheating scenario? So

6:07

my life is a kind of

6:09

a weird shit show. So I grew up really

6:12

conservative religion And

6:15

was like, I don't know what this shit is, but okay, this

6:17

is what you're doing with it So I got married at like

6:20

20 years old and I was married

6:22

for seven years. Mm-hmm And

6:25

so he when him and I were married There's

6:28

a lot of like psychological abuse that was happening

6:30

But part of that was he would bring in

6:32

his fantasies and then that religious shame was like

6:34

never mind never mind So he

6:36

had talked about being bisexual and wanting to

6:38

hook up with guys. Oh interesting. Okay, he

6:41

did. Yeah We were

6:43

heated. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so we would like

6:45

roleplay that sometimes We played

6:47

around with like prostate massagers every once in a

6:49

while, but he was always I don't know He

6:51

was always so back and forth right where it

6:53

would be. This is what I want. Never mind

6:55

Never mind and I was like, okay, well, I

6:57

don't believe in this bullshit church stuff anyway So,

6:59

okay fine, but I'm not gonna cheat. I'm not

7:01

a cheater. Well, then a couple of years down

7:04

the road I have my daughter and he

7:06

tells me hey six months ago when

7:08

she was three months old I went

7:10

out and met up with a girl for a blowjob, but nothing happened.

7:13

Don't worry about it Well a blowjob

7:15

happened though, right or did she

7:17

know? Give him the answer. What

7:19

happened? Nothing happened. Just a blowjob. Come

7:22

on classic Hudson story. Did he

7:24

told you? I'm surprised he told you Yeah,

7:27

well that was his kind of again like with his

7:29

fucking guilt would be like six months later Oh by

7:32

the way, this thing happened and so I was big

7:34

of a deal and I have it covered Which

7:37

was so what do you mean I have it covered?

7:40

Yeah, I've already fixed it. I already stopped

7:42

talking to them Whatever it

7:44

was right, but I need to tell you I got

7:46

to get my guilt out. Yeah, I'm gonna ruin your

7:48

fucking day I think there's something so selfish about that

7:52

Yeah, totally you didn't have you had no idea

7:54

right Take

7:58

your fucking blowjob and your guilt and live with with it,

8:00

that's your consequences. Don't dump it that shit

8:02

onto somebody else. It's so rude. I don't

8:04

know why people think that that's so noble.

8:06

It's because it's fucking not selfish. Yeah.

8:09

Especially not at that point when it's not, here's evidence or anything.

8:11

It's just, by the way, you're not saying anything. Yeah, you shut

8:13

it down. No big deal. Nothing's going on anymore. But I got

8:16

to tell you to make myself feel better. But I want you

8:18

to feel it. Yeah. Yeah. No,

8:20

seriously. That's what it's a, it's really selfish. It's

8:22

very self-serving. He wasn't doing it to me for

8:24

you. Cause why? Well, like,

8:26

what does that do for you? Except make you want to fucking leave

8:28

him and not

8:30

trust him. Terrible. Okay, go on. And

8:34

I think at that point he knew I wasn't going to

8:36

leave him, but that was kind of, that was one of the

8:38

big ruptures that broke me. So I like told him to

8:40

leave. He went and stayed with a brother out of town for

8:42

a couple of days. And that was when my friend

8:44

came over. Oh, your girlfriends. Yeah,

8:47

my girlfriend. So her and I had known each other.

8:50

She was a couple of years older than me. I'd known her since I was like 16. We

8:54

hung out a few times. She had done my

8:56

hair for years. Nothing, nothing had really happened. And

9:00

then I found out, well, I found out after the fact,

9:02

between my ex and my best girlfriend, that they

9:04

had talked about her and I hooking up a couple of

9:06

times and they had hinted

9:08

around it. Interesting. Yeah.

9:11

Why were you never in the know? Yeah.

9:14

Oh my God. So before she comes over, apparently

9:16

she sends him a text, like don't worry, I'm

9:18

going to fix it. So she

9:21

comes over. I had never

9:23

smoked, like I'm a stoner for sure, but I

9:25

had never smoked like one of the vape pens,

9:27

the carts. And

9:29

those things are fucking strong. I don't know

9:31

if you've ever smoked. It's intense and it

9:33

hits really quickly. So her

9:36

and I hung out. I was hitting that

9:38

pen all night long. And

9:42

was so gone, so high. And

9:44

of course, like I'm fucking a mess. I'm

9:47

crying. I'm like, I'm not enough. He doesn't love me.

9:49

I have my baby. I don't know what to do.

9:52

So she's holding me. She's like, it's going to be

9:54

fine. It's going to be fine. We go and get

9:56

in bed eventually. And we

9:59

just started slowly. spooning each other. And like

10:01

my heart was beating out of my chest.

10:03

I was like, Wait, I think our rebot

10:05

took up and she's hot. Like she has

10:07

some nice titties. She's had three

10:09

kids, but you wouldn't know that she was

10:11

in good shape. And

10:14

so I think she kissed me

10:16

first. Like we turned around and she kissed me

10:18

first. And it was

10:20

so intense and so immediate. We both

10:23

went down on each other. It was

10:26

super hot. And then the next day my

10:28

ex was coming home. So I'm like spilling

10:30

my guts and I'm like, okay, I fucked

10:32

her. I don't want to do

10:34

that anymore. Sorry. I'm gonna fucked up. And he

10:36

went to town on me. Like

10:39

an anger or like sexually? No,

10:42

no. You never know your husband.

10:45

Okay. So first,

10:47

first you pissed, right? He's like, I have to

10:49

get into the horse not doing this. Well, then

10:51

over the next several years before we actually got

10:53

divorced, he kept pulling it up as a role

10:55

playing scenario. Of course. He had talked about it

10:57

with her. He knew she was going over there

11:00

to bang you that night. She said, don't worry.

11:02

I'm going to fix this. Was that quote unquote?

11:04

Fix this. Yeah.

11:07

Interesting. Yeah. So

11:10

her and I hooked up, I think probably

11:12

two more times, but it wasn't until after

11:14

I was divorced and she was married and

11:17

did the same thing. Right. And it was like, Oh my

11:19

God, that's so hot. You guys should do it again, but

11:21

you do it in front of us. So her and I

11:23

kind of got into a weird spot for a while because

11:26

both of our husbands are fucking telling us this shit. So

11:28

we didn't really talk to each other for a minute. And

11:30

then after I got divorced, her

11:32

and I hung out a couple more times to

11:35

like girls night, where it's a lot more low

11:38

key. And I think that like,

11:40

like looking back when I was

11:42

a kid, I was obsessed with girls. I didn't see

11:44

it like that. I couldn't figure it out. Right. It

11:47

was like, I'm not jealous, but Oh my God, I

11:49

love, I just want to look at her. I was

11:51

like, I don't want to be her, but there's just

11:53

something that is so beautiful. I just want to be

11:55

around it. Oh my God. I'm obsessed. Interesting. Okay. Yeah.

11:58

So then I got divorced.

12:01

That was a messy shit show. And

12:04

then I kind of decided, okay,

12:06

I don't want to get married.

12:08

I've got my daughter fucking done.

12:10

I don't really think

12:12

I'm in it for relationships anyways. And

12:15

I just started sleeping around, just

12:17

actually getting friends with benefits. Are

12:20

you now looking for girls after

12:22

your relationship ended? So

12:25

after my relationship ended, I didn't

12:28

immediately start dating women on

12:30

their own. Weirdly enough, it felt way

12:32

more safe to date couples. Yeah, no, I know that's

12:34

what you were into, right? Being a unicorn. When did

12:36

you do that? When

12:39

did I do that? Yeah. So

12:41

probably, I don't know, two

12:44

months after my divorce, I found this

12:46

couple on Tinder and I

12:48

was like, okay, yeah, they look fun.

12:50

She's cute. She's blonde, little. He's Mexican.

12:53

I'm into this. And

12:55

I don't, I think honestly, I was

12:57

scared of women for a long time.

13:01

What do you mean? It's a totally different

13:03

thing, right? Getting ready for a date with a

13:06

girl is completely different than getting ready for a

13:08

date with a guy. In what sense? Eyeliner, your,

13:10

like everything. Why? I don't understand. I've

13:12

never been on a date with a girl. So

13:14

explain what you mean by that. So it's like,

13:16

when you're going out with your girlfriends, right? Like

13:18

you're kind of checking in, you're getting dressed up,

13:20

you're like making sure you're good to go. And

13:22

it's kind of that same thing. If you go

13:25

on a date with a guy and

13:27

like your top doesn't match, or I don't know, your shoes don't

13:29

look that out or whatever, but he's not going to notice, but

13:31

a girl is going to clock that immediately. Oh, you

13:34

feel more pressure with the girl. Yeah.

13:36

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15:13

Anonymous podcast is looking for people

15:15

to call into the show. So

15:17

if you lead an interesting naughty

15:19

secret life that you wanna talk

15:21

about while remaining anonymous or not

15:23

anonymous, if you're out and proud,

15:25

that's cool too, send

15:28

me an email strictly-anonymouspodcast.com. That's

15:32

strictly-anonymouspodcast.com or

15:34

go to my website strictly-anonymouspodcast.com

15:38

and click on be on the show. If you have

15:40

a short confession that you wanna get off your back,

15:42

call my confessions hotline, 347-420-3579. That's

15:47

347-420-3579. You

15:51

could call that number 24-7. I

15:54

changed all the voices on the

15:56

confessions too. So you remain anonymous.

15:58

The number, the website. and

16:00

the email address will all be in the

16:02

description. If

16:08

you go on a date with a guy and like

16:10

your top doesn't matter, I don't know, your shoes don't look

16:12

that up or whatever, but he's not going to notice, but

16:15

a girl is going to clap that immediately. Oh,

16:17

you feel more pressure with the girl. Yeah.

16:20

Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah.

16:23

There's more pressure for me and it's also, it's also a

16:25

weird thing because girls don't initiate as much, right? So

16:28

then there's also this weird tension of by panic of, okay,

16:30

so we're both here because we want to fuck each other,

16:33

but neither of us are going to touch each other first.

16:36

Okay. We're trying not to harass each other. It's

16:38

just the tension just gets so weird. And when

16:40

there's a husband there who has full permission to

16:43

fuck around in front of his wife, he's usually

16:45

over the top. So he's way more

16:47

on top about initiating and then the wife is happy

16:49

to follow. And I don't know, it just feels like

16:51

it goes smoother, but I think definitely.

16:53

So that first couple that I hooked

16:55

up with, they didn't tell me and I

16:57

do different things now with couples, but I

17:00

think we went to a bar, got a drink. We

17:03

talked for a little while and I had never, since

17:05

I hadn't ever been with a couple, I'm like trying

17:07

to sort out, right? Like, why are you doing this?

17:09

And this because she, he wants to do this. Let's

17:12

make sure there's nothing weird happening. Well,

17:14

then I get to their, we go back to their

17:17

place, I'm feeling it. So we

17:19

go back to their place and they

17:21

are like, they don't want to drink. They don't want to

17:23

smoke. Music and all the lights are on. Bad

17:27

vibe. They don't understand how to set

17:29

the mood. Yes. Some

17:31

people just don't get it. Yes, they

17:33

don't. And it was so awkward. And

17:35

now I have a rule about that, but, but

17:38

she, she had kind of hinted. I

17:41

didn't know that I liked to see

17:43

him with women for a

17:45

long time, but now that's really what I like.

17:47

We've been together for five years and they weren't

17:49

married. They were dating. That's where they

17:52

had fallen into. And she didn't describe herself

17:54

as a cook queen. And I

17:56

didn't know that term at the time, but now

17:58

in hindsight, I know that. I

18:00

think I flew around with them twice and both times her

18:02

thing was that she wanted to go out to the bathroom

18:04

and Then he would start making out with me

18:06

and she would come back and see it, right? But

18:09

they didn't tell me that the first time So

18:12

then I'm sitting there He's making moves

18:14

as she walks away and I'm like, okay this

18:16

must be sanctioned But also I'm not trying to

18:18

get in a situation where I'm in the middle of it

18:21

Right you feel for the girl you're like thinking like

18:23

what if she doesn't know like this is fucked up,

18:25

right? You're waiting till she leaves

18:28

I don't know that feels kind of suspicious But

18:30

again just stuff that could have been avoided it had

18:32

they just told me hey, this is our specific kink

18:34

This is what we like to do. It was super

18:36

hot though So when she comes back him and I

18:39

are making out and he started to go

18:41

down on me And then she started making out with me

18:43

and that Was

18:45

the thing that was like cemented being a

18:47

unicorn in my brain I think because that

18:49

like I can have a visual right now.

18:51

It was so fucking hot. She

18:53

had her nipples pierced She was

18:56

tattooed So she was making

18:58

out with me putting her tits on

19:00

mine He's like I'm looking down between

19:02

but her and I and I

19:04

can see his mouth on me. It was so

19:06

fucking hot Just being in

19:08

the middle. I'm a Leo. So I think

19:10

I also like that attention of it Yeah,

19:12

I'm the new one and they've already had

19:14

their established dynamics That's fun, right because they're

19:17

both super into my body and that's really fun for

19:19

me, obviously So he had a tiny

19:21

dick I I

19:24

will say I didn't love that but he was

19:26

super good with toys and they

19:28

love to play with toys So that was fun

19:30

and I'm multi orgasmic. So I will just keep

19:32

coming and so that's always

19:34

fun For whatever guy

19:36

because they're fucking obsessed with that. Yeah So,

19:42

I don't know I probably

19:44

came five or six times he fucked her

19:46

and You

19:48

enjoy watching that yourself Yeah.

19:50

Yeah, I really like watching so after that

19:53

second time I was like I can't do

19:55

it again The lights were on there was

19:57

no music There's

20:00

no mood set and the sex

20:02

was fun, but. Did you go down on

20:05

her and all that kind of stuff and this time

20:07

you have having orgasms and all that stuff with her

20:09

as well? Yeah. So I think he

20:11

was fucking me while I went down on her. I

20:14

couldn't really feel him, which was a bummer. But

20:17

now I know that like I learned after the

20:19

fact that they only fuck with blood plugs and

20:22

all kinds of stuff. So that makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

20:27

So no more that couple, but that was your

20:29

first experience. But you dug it. That was like

20:32

the thing for you. Because I got to tell

20:34

you, I get a lot of couples emailing me

20:36

and I just taped a couple recently that are

20:38

always looking for unicorns and blah, blah, blah. Everyone's

20:40

looking for you. You're the unicorn. Do you find

20:43

that you just get hit up on those apps

20:45

like constantly and they're like so amazed that you

20:47

actually show up because it's hard to find someone

20:49

like you. Yeah.

20:51

And that's, it's been really interesting

20:54

because when I got divorced, I definitely had

20:56

walked out of it with this ugly duckling

20:58

syndrome. Because of your guy

21:00

putting you down so much probably you had low self

21:02

esteem. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He

21:05

was always cheating or he was always like sexting

21:07

ex girlfriends or whatever bullshit. So I'm, I'm

21:10

leaving the marriage. Okay. Maybe I don't

21:12

know what I'm wearing that in the dating field. Right. And

21:15

of course I was 20 when I got married. So Tinder wasn't a

21:17

thing when I got married. So I'm doing all that for the first

21:20

time. And I decided to

21:22

go at it with, I am just going to pick the people that

21:24

I think are too hot to fuck me. And

21:26

then I fucked all of them. Really?

21:29

You went out of your league. That doesn't, that

21:31

doesn't sound like someone with low self esteem. Well,

21:34

I think the thing was, was because I was so,

21:37

I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm not trying to

21:39

date anybody. Yeah. Yeah. That's

21:41

great. So you have that couple, you dig

21:43

them and now you're like, Oh, I want to be a

21:46

unicorn. This is for me. I don't want a relationship. And

21:48

you're just going to go after the hottest couples that send

21:51

you their pics. Yeah.

21:53

Yeah. And like you're saying

21:55

with dating apps, like that, that's exactly what happened was

21:57

every time I'm on bikes now, I pretty

21:59

much. only use fields. I delete them

22:02

every single time someone says their name. I

22:04

delete it from my thing because they gave

22:06

me the fucking run around and wasted my

22:08

time with being a sponsor so they could

22:10

go fuck themselves. But anyway, I delete that.

22:12

Yeah, fuck them. Anyway, I say SDC. That's

22:14

who I promote on my show. But anyway,

22:16

go on. I need to check them out

22:18

honestly. Well, SDC, you could just

22:20

use my link and you'll get a free 14 day

22:22

trial. And if you don't like it, you don't have to sign up.

22:25

So you could check that out for free with my link. Anyway, go

22:27

on. I'm sure you

22:29

do fine though, anywhere you go because

22:31

you're the unicorn. Yeah.

22:33

And it's a very interesting,

22:36

I don't know, dynamic because

22:38

I listen to your show all the time. And

22:40

I know that a lot of like swingers specifically,

22:42

that's one of their rules, right? Is like you

22:44

go talk to the wife or you go talk

22:46

to the husband or whatever. But it's

22:49

funny because like I'm 29 and everyone that

22:51

is my age, whether they're poly

22:54

or not, it's a very different

22:56

feel. It's now you go talk directly to whoever

22:59

you want to have sex with. There

23:01

isn't a possession part of

23:03

it. And it's been really

23:05

interesting as a unicorn because some couples are

23:07

really good at knowing a

23:09

separation and knowing how to treat you like a person and not a

23:11

toy. And some people are not like

23:13

it's hot to be a toy. It's not hot to

23:15

be a toy before you're in bed and they don't

23:17

even know you. But I've had some weird situations before

23:20

I even meet up with people where they're bullshit. For

23:22

example, I had this couple, I started

23:24

talking to the girl online and she

23:26

was like, I want to surprise my guy. I want

23:29

him to come home and we'll be hanging out and

23:31

then we'll fuck him. And

23:34

people like to run their unicorn fantasies by me

23:36

all the time. So that was great. I was

23:38

totally on board with it. And

23:40

then she gives me her cell number

23:42

and it's so obviously a fucking dude

23:45

texting me. Oh, you're kidding. So there's

23:47

bullshit the whole thing. Well,

23:50

I don't think it was bullshit. I think their thing was

23:52

that she was texting me first and then

23:54

she was going to have him text me and they were going

23:56

to get off on that. And I wasn't going to

23:58

know that it was him. And I was. and I know that they were

24:01

both in on it together. Just fucking be

24:03

honest with people. Don't switch

24:05

numbers and pull shit like that and try and

24:07

like, like if it's a fantasy to be

24:09

surprised, talk about that fucking fantasy because guaranteed

24:11

women will want to play that out with you. But

24:13

when you're a single woman going to play with two

24:15

other people, it is a safety

24:17

concern. And so when they start off lying

24:20

like that, there's no fucking way. Yeah,

24:22

for sure. So did you ever, you didn't hook up with them? No,

24:25

no. In fact, I texted them and said, look, I

24:27

can tell this is what's going on just so you

24:29

know, don't do this again to anybody else because it

24:31

would have been fun to fuck around with you. And

24:33

that's definitely not happening. And now you lose. Yeah.

24:36

Yeah, that's what happens. Okay. Okay. So who's

24:38

the next couple that you hook up with

24:40

after that first couple? So

24:43

the next couple that I hooked up with, oh my

24:47

God, let me think. It

24:49

was probably, so I had this couple

24:51

who I still see to this

24:53

day. I think it was them there. He's,

24:56

oh, he's so hot. He's like

24:58

six, four huge dick, like

25:01

very athletic. They're like Colorado weed

25:03

people. And

25:06

she's Colorado weed people. Guys

25:09

in Colorado are really hot. Okay, by

25:11

the way, that's what I think. Right?

25:13

Isn't that true? Like the

25:15

bikers, they're all, I don't know

25:17

what it is. The outdoorsy-ness of them all,

25:20

but they're like the hottest guys in Colorado

25:22

for some reason. For real. Not in New

25:24

York City. Trust me. And

25:28

they're all really, I don't know. They're all really laid

25:30

back. So I met this couple and we hadn't matched

25:32

probably, I don't know, six months. So it took a

25:34

while for me to actually get

25:36

around to meeting them. What was she like?

25:39

She was tall too. So I'm probably five

25:42

eight and she's probably five nine, a little

25:44

bit taller than me, like a long brown

25:46

hair. She's really lean too. Really, really nice

25:48

tits. And she's multi-hargasmic as

25:50

well. So the first time that we started

25:52

fooling around with each other, trying to remember,

25:55

oh yeah, so I went up, they

25:57

have this cabin up in the woods, right? So

25:59

I made up. them in town, we get chatting,

26:01

I go up to their place

26:04

and she, we start

26:07

smoking weed, we start hanging out. She

26:09

comes over and sits on my lap

26:12

and they start making out

26:14

with her on my lap. And I told you,

26:16

I love watching. I love

26:19

that. And so they start making out of my lap

26:21

and she, I

26:24

think she took her shirt off. Anyways, her

26:26

nipples were fucking incredible. And

26:28

he, they like to tie me

26:31

down. She likes to be tied down. So

26:34

her and I went down on each other and made each other

26:36

come. I don't even know how many

26:38

times. And his favorite way to fuck

26:40

me still is face it down

26:42

in her pussy ass up and

26:45

behind me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are they?

26:48

They're probably 30, 32. Oh,

26:50

okay. So they're young couple too. Yeah.

26:53

Yeah. I'll take the majority of people that I

26:55

mess around with or around that age, there definitely

26:57

are some older, some

27:00

older couples. I don't know,

27:02

40s, 50s. Yeah. I don't

27:05

have an age range, right? Like I'm

27:07

a switch. So I love to try

27:10

new things. I love to fuck

27:12

around other people's fantasies. Like I

27:14

have, I think my brain, it's funny cause

27:16

people are always talking on your show about

27:18

like women having fantasies or not. And I

27:20

feel like I, and maybe other

27:22

women are the same way. I have a

27:25

couple of sexual fantasies, but it's more so I want to

27:27

know what other people's are. And I want to fuck around

27:29

in theirs. Oh, that's interesting. That's your

27:31

thing. Yeah. Yeah. I love,

27:33

I love playing out other people's like

27:36

role plays. Like when people hit me up and say,

27:38

Hey, we want a unicorn experience. This is, you know,

27:40

special occasion, a birthday, whatever. I'm all over that because

27:43

there's always something fun in it. So whether

27:45

it's like tying the guy up or like,

27:48

um, right now I really

27:50

want. So I have a girlfriend

27:52

right now. We're non-monogamous

27:55

and her and I really want to fool around with guys. And I

27:57

haven't watched her peg a I

28:00

really want that. Interesting. And how did you

28:02

meet that girl? We're kind of all over the place, but

28:04

that's okay. I still want to go back to this hot

28:06

couple that you're still banging to this day, but this

28:08

girl, how did you meet her online? Yep. So

28:11

I met her online last summer and

28:15

I think it was probably right before it

28:17

was a little bit after I started feeling

28:19

good about just dating women singly and feeling

28:21

good about what I was looking for. So

28:24

I find her, she's Puerto

28:26

Rican, Haitian, gorgeous, great

28:29

ass. And

28:31

the first night she comes over, she brings

28:33

Molly, which I don't, I don't love Molly.

28:35

I've done it twice, but for whatever reason,

28:38

I'm like, Oh yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

28:41

Let's do Molly. Let's see. And

28:43

you met her like, as a, like a girl girl

28:45

hookup situation, right? That's how you met her online. Like

28:47

this is, yeah, I'm looking to hook up with a

28:49

chick kind of thing. Yeah. I was

28:51

like, I'm going to find out the time that she was living with. And it

28:53

was so funny cause I, I had asked her,

28:56

can you come up a night early? Cause I like, I

28:58

can't wait. I just, I want to see. We were texting

29:00

and it was getting really hot. And

29:03

before she came up, she said, look, I don't want to

29:05

be that guy, but I'm going to take a drive. So

29:07

we're gonna, are we, are we going to fool around? Are

29:09

we actually doing something? That's cool.

29:11

She wouldn't want to drive all the way there for

29:13

a cup of coffee. Exactly.

29:16

Exactly. So we were both on the

29:18

same page from the get go of hookup

29:20

buddies. And then that just progressed

29:22

because the sexual chemistry between us

29:24

is so intense and we

29:26

really fooling around with other people and meeting other

29:29

people and couples that we just kind of

29:31

fell into this relationship. That

29:33

is, I don't know. I don't even know what kind of

29:35

a relationship I'm in, but it's fun. But

29:38

what happened the first time you hooked up with her? So

29:41

the first time I hooked up with her, she

29:43

came over. We had Molly. We

29:45

took Molly. We're hanging out waiting for it

29:48

to kick in. I think

29:50

I'm more dominant with women and she's a

29:52

switch too, but I like leaned in to

29:54

kind of go to kind of kiss her

29:56

and she leaned away from me. So I

29:58

felt, okay, that's all right. I can

30:00

let her come at me. Well, within five minutes, she had picked

30:02

me up and put me on the counter. And

30:05

we were making out going crazy. So we came

30:08

upstairs. We didn't have a strap on or

30:10

anything. So I think that first night we

30:12

were like scissoring each other and going down

30:14

on each other. And

30:18

we were up until 5 a.m. just

30:21

making pancakes and then fucking in between.

30:24

Talking. We didn't know each other. Just

30:26

saying. That must have been the

30:28

Molly. Yeah. Well,

30:30

that's the thing too is when you have sex with

30:33

a woman, right, it's not like he came tonight. I

30:35

have to wait 45 minutes. Like you're just going to

30:37

keep going. Well, if you're all too multi orgasmic, I

30:39

need to wait in between 20 minutes at least. Exactly.

30:43

So OK, let's stop and get some snacks and

30:45

free fuel. And then we'll get back into it.

30:47

Right. OK. And that's the fun

30:50

part for me about having sex with women is there

30:52

isn't that endpoint. And sometimes

30:54

that's the only downside, I think, with

30:56

a couple is that when guys hit that endpoint first

30:58

and then the wife and I are like, well, we

31:01

wanted it. OK, I guess we're done. Because he's done.

31:04

Yeah, because it's been two hours and we're like, well, we

31:06

could keep going. But OK, he came. OK, fine.

31:09

Right. But with that girl, you guys were like at it

31:11

all night. All night. All night.

31:13

And then she started coming up like once a

31:15

week, twice a week. And we would

31:17

just fuck all night long. And then she would go to

31:19

work the next morning at 7 a.m. It

31:22

was always hot. She was the

31:24

first girl that fucked me with a strap on. And

31:27

now I love that. She's really, really good at

31:29

it. And do you switch and do that to

31:31

her as well? Because you keep saying you are

31:33

a switch. Yeah, yeah, I

31:35

do. I think that I don't know. I

31:37

don't know. I don't love strap ons because

31:40

of the functionality. But that could just because

31:42

I'm not good at using them. I

31:44

really, really love giving oral to women. I really

31:47

love going down on them and doing it with

31:49

a toy. Or have you heard

31:51

of Betty Dodson? So she's a

31:53

sex educator. And she developed

31:55

a bunch of different protocols and

31:58

stuff for orgasming for women. She has

32:00

this barbell that she sells

32:02

on a website that's two pounds and

32:05

I'm gonna say it's probably six inches long and one end

32:07

is bigger than the other. Oh, I know that thing. I

32:09

pitched that on my show all the time. I sell the

32:11

shit out of it because I found it for 17 bucks

32:14

on Amazon because they sell it to guys

32:16

for $17 and they sell it for women

32:18

for like 175. Okay.

32:21

Yeah. That's what they fucking do. Yeah.

32:24

Of course they do. Yeah. Not

32:26

as much as you sell that thing for because I know where you

32:28

get it for $17. That's

32:30

insane. I think that was probably like

32:33

250 or something. Yeah. Same

32:36

one. That's heavy as shit with the big ball

32:38

and one in the small wall on the other end. Gay men get

32:40

that for 17 bucks. You as

32:42

a straight woman, you as a woman have to go

32:44

buy that for Betty for $250. Can

32:47

you believe women's life? That's insane.

32:49

Yeah. It's ridiculous. I'll

32:51

put the app and I get so pissed because whenever I talk

32:54

about this, because women use it to squirt, right? Someone

32:56

told me once about it squirting, right? And when she

32:58

sent me the link, I saw it's 175. So

33:01

I just took a Google, I took a pic of

33:03

it and put it into Google pics just to see

33:05

where else I could find this. Because 175 was just

33:07

way too much. And I literally found it for 17

33:09

bucks. I was like, this is ridiculous. I've been looking

33:11

for it in China so I could sell it myself.

33:14

But anyway, do you guys use the toy? Yeah.

33:17

So that's my favorite one to use when I go down on

33:19

women. How come? Because

33:22

of the weight and because the way that

33:24

they can use it too, if they have

33:26

their knees up, they can rock their pelvis

33:28

back and forth and they can fuck themselves

33:30

with that while I'm sucking on their clit.

33:34

And I think that that feeling of

33:36

control for women while we're in that

33:38

situation makes their orgasm way more intense.

33:41

So that one's my favorite because of that

33:43

weight because it doesn't come out. And because

33:45

it, I think that that was one of

33:47

the reasons that my multi-arcathoms are so good

33:49

was just training with that thing. Oh, why?

33:51

Because you got that early on and would

33:53

always use that yourself. The one that I

33:55

use, the one that I promote is more

33:58

is curved, actually. and that's why it like makes

34:00

you squirt. It's got a curve to it, but

34:02

because I'm looking at hers now on, and it's

34:05

a bar, the barbell, it's straight, right? But the

34:07

one that I have, which is just as heavy

34:09

and everything, like I said, is it's curved and

34:11

that's why it could help you squirt because it

34:13

gets to the G spot. Okay,

34:16

I'm gonna have to pick that one up and show that one out. Like I

34:18

said, it's only 17 bucks. Sorry,

34:20

Betty Doxon. You're

34:23

amazing, thank you. Yeah,

34:26

anyway, all right, so you use that on her.

34:29

You guys do everything together. Now, do

34:31

you ever develop feelings for her? Oh

34:34

yeah, oh yeah. Her and I, so I

34:37

think we both, we both developed feelings for

34:40

each other kind of alongside each other, but

34:42

neither of us were really ready

34:44

to admit that, and neither of us were wanting

34:46

to admit that. Yeah, because she's in a relationship,

34:49

but is she in an open relationship? Yeah,

34:51

yeah. Okay. So her girlfriend

34:53

has other partners. Have you ever at least

34:55

helped with the girlfriends? No,

34:58

so I started talking to them both actually

35:00

in the beginning and like

35:02

the vibe of her girlfriend put me off, so

35:04

I decided to stop talking to her and I

35:06

actually, I didn't meet up with her. Okay, but

35:08

you and her have hooked up with other people.

35:10

You did say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've hooked

35:12

up with a lot of other people. We had

35:15

a guy like on Christmas Eve, just

35:18

barely a couple months ago, that came

35:20

up and he was like

35:23

six foot tall, like in blonde,

35:25

huge dick. And one

35:28

of her favorite things is when, is

35:31

orgasm denial with me. So like I'll ask her if

35:33

I can come on there, Dick. Orgasm

35:35

what'd you say? Orgasm

35:37

denial. Oh denial, huh? For you, like she wants

35:39

to make you not be able to come. Yeah,

35:43

yeah, and I love that because that's usually the

35:45

thing is people are like, okay, I want you

35:47

to come as many times back to back. Yeah.

35:50

So in the edging and taking me and then

35:52

telling me no is so hot

35:54

for me. Yeah, I like teasing denial. I think

35:56

it just takes something that you love and just

35:58

makes it last longer. But anyway. Go on. So

36:01

that's what we did for Christmas Eve was we

36:03

hooked up with this Viking was funny. He actually

36:05

showed up in a Santa suit. So on Christmas

36:07

day I kept posting pictures saying I made Santa

36:09

come twice last night. Oh my God. Where are

36:11

you posting these pics? So everyone knows like your

36:13

life and what you do and that you're like

36:15

this unicorn and you're just like completely out proud.

36:18

No, just on like my Snapchat. Like I

36:21

have a lot of friends with benefits. Most

36:23

of my friends I fuck with just because

36:25

I just prefer that. Honestly

36:27

I have hot friends and

36:29

I have my daughter so like I don't have a bunch

36:31

of free time. So if I'm going to have free time

36:34

I want people that are cool to be around and that

36:36

I can have sex with because I have such a high

36:38

drive. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously it sounds like it. Now let's get

36:40

back to the feelings for that girl though. Like you were

36:42

talking about that and cut you off. So

36:44

is she still with her girlfriend but you

36:46

guys like are allowed to dig each other

36:49

too? No.

36:51

So they broke up last fall and

36:53

she ended up moving out and

36:55

I guess their relationship

36:58

this girl that she was with wasn't

37:01

non-monogamous when they met and so was trying

37:03

to do it in that relationship and it

37:05

was a whole mess that I

37:07

didn't get involved in. And it

37:09

was probably like last fall that her and I

37:11

finally admitted we had feelings for each other and

37:13

told each other that we loved each other and

37:15

then we're kind of in this place where I

37:18

think that romantic love is toxic. Because

37:22

I come from this background of like full codependency

37:24

I think I told you my ex had a

37:26

personality disorder so it was really

37:29

really intense really really enmeshed and

37:31

I had had one boyfriend

37:34

since my divorce like five months not

37:36

even that three months because

37:38

I thought okay maybe I'm just being a bitch maybe

37:41

I'm just like commitment avoidant

37:44

and as soon as I got into that relationship with that

37:46

guy I started missing all of my fuck buddies so I.

37:49

It's not for you right now. You might change

37:51

your mind down the line. It's not for you

37:53

right now but just because you had one bad

37:56

relationship doesn't mean every guy or any kind of

37:58

love is toxic. It's just toxic. with the wrong

38:00

person and that's your picker. You have to take

38:02

accountability for that, right? So like, you know, but

38:04

it doesn't mean that 10 years from now, you

38:07

might change your mind or you might fall in love with

38:09

a woman and find that that's not toxic at all. You

38:11

know what I mean? And I just think it was toxic

38:13

with that guy because that's who he was. Yeah,

38:16

that's absolutely true. Love isn't toxic, okay.

38:19

Not if it's actually love, right? I think that's the

38:21

part that I get stuck on. It's like people will

38:24

like who I am or love who I am, but

38:26

they're not in love with me. Well,

38:29

it doesn't sound, listen, it sounds like you're,

38:31

listen, you're still super young, right? You had

38:33

that one relationship with that really bad guy

38:35

and I could see how that's traumatizing because

38:37

he was like really messed up. But it

38:40

isn't, it doesn't sound like you've had much

38:42

more experience since him as far

38:44

as long-term relationships go. So how is any one

38:46

of these people that are just banging you gonna

38:48

fall in love with you anyway? It doesn't sound

38:50

like you've given anyone the chance

38:53

for that yet that you even know, but obviously

38:55

there's somebody out there that would love you for

38:57

you and everything. It just doesn't sound like you've

38:59

gone there yet. And that's cool. It's just not

39:01

where you're at. It sounds like you're having a

39:04

lot of fun doing what you're doing and being

39:06

open and being poly, right, for now. Yeah. Yeah,

39:09

and I think that's like not to bounce

39:11

around again, but that's the other part of

39:13

solo poly is having those platonic relationships that

39:16

are like, that are very,

39:19

not in a romantic way, but in a connection

39:21

way. So you get that, still like emotional intimacy.

39:24

Yeah, yeah, that's safer. It's

39:26

easier. It makes sense that you would

39:28

set up all that kind of stuff

39:30

after having such a traumatizing relationship, right?

39:32

First relationship and stuff. It makes sense

39:35

that that kind of setup would be

39:37

great for you and works for you,

39:39

but it doesn't mean that, like I

39:41

said, 10 years from now you may

39:43

not change your mind or be in

39:45

a different place. Totally,

39:47

and I am unattached that I

39:50

have no idea where the fuck my life's going,

39:52

obviously. Nobody does. So that's the kind of fun

39:54

thing if you're open to where it goes. Like

39:56

I said, you might wind up with a girl.

39:58

You do like this girl now, but you have

40:00

no. intention of locking that down or anything, right?

40:03

Well, I didn't.

40:06

But now her and I, we live together because there

40:08

was a shuffle, right, jobs

40:10

and moving out and everything. So her and I

40:13

live together, but her and I are

40:15

both in that space of, well, I don't know, we didn't

40:17

want a primary partner. So, but we both are obsessed

40:20

with each other and we fit so well together that

40:22

I think that's kind of a space that we're in

40:24

now is figuring out what that means and

40:27

what that looks like. In

40:29

the context of all of our other, I

40:32

don't know, all of our other relationships or

40:34

all of our other stuff. So it's

40:36

nice. And I feel like we're in a good spot because

40:38

her and I, neither of us really needed anything from each

40:40

other. We just decided to show up and wanted

40:43

to be around each other. And so it's

40:45

been an ever evolving thing. And

40:49

it does sound like she loves you for you. Oh

40:51

yeah. Yeah. So you can't say that you

40:53

can't find that like you did with this

40:56

girl. Yeah, that's

40:58

truly right. Yeah. And does she like

41:00

you guys live together? She like in

41:02

your room like as a couple, like

41:04

you guys are together. Yeah.

41:07

Okay. But she's open and down to be

41:09

like doing what you guys do, which is

41:12

like being non-monogamous and doing all these hookups.

41:14

Now, do you hook up solo without her

41:16

now that she lives there? And does she

41:18

also hook up solo or you guys always

41:21

like hooking up with other people together? So

41:24

we do both. We do like she'll

41:26

go on dates. I'll go on dates. I think

41:28

we prefer, I prefer anyways to

41:31

meet people with her just because the safety aspect

41:33

of it. And we do play around so well

41:35

together in bed. But yeah, we both have our

41:38

solo times and people that we both know or

41:40

we'll have friends that we both know, but we

41:42

don't go fuck together every time. So like that

41:44

couple from earlier, her and I have fucked around

41:47

with both of them several times.

41:49

And then since then I've gone over there and

41:51

just seen him or just seeing her, Oh,

41:54

that's fun. And you guys are totally cool with that,

41:56

right? Now, does she define, is

41:58

she a lesbian or is she bi? bisexual So

42:01

she identifies as queer and kind of pansexual

42:03

she has she's gone on a lot of

42:05

dates with trans men She's had a relationship

42:08

with trans men before and all kind of

42:10

queer beautiful people. We're both I think we

42:12

both are in that camp, but we don't

42:14

really have a type. It's like we like

42:16

really hot humans Yeah, uh-huh. You're down for

42:18

anything, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so it makes it

42:20

I think that's what makes it really fun

42:22

And that's why that's why her and I

42:24

are thing right now is we really want

42:26

to find some boys that will Fuck each

42:28

other in front of us. Yeah,

42:30

that's like your new thing It do you think it

42:32

was like all that talk and shit with your first

42:35

husband? Is that when you realized you were into it?

42:37

I? think

42:40

With him. I think I started.

42:42

Yeah realizing how much I was into it with

42:44

him and then Then

42:47

I shut that down because of how toxic that

42:49

whole situation got would never mind I don't want

42:51

to deal with it And then now it's not

42:54

that I haven't been open to her been trying

42:56

to in the last couple of years But

42:58

I think that for guys There's such a it's such

43:00

a thing for them to say that they want to

43:03

fool around with a guy or you know Put

43:06

a dick in their mouth, but that's all yeah, but

43:08

I'm not gay I

43:14

know but look at my show. I have a

43:16

million guys that are doing it. So whatever I

43:18

always thought it's like a little bit different with

43:21

the younger guys your what's it that they're more

43:23

open Have you guys you have hooked up with

43:25

guys together, right? What about other couples

43:27

do you have any other couple stories? I know you said

43:29

one was a cut queen was that that first one? Yeah,

43:33

that was the first one I fooled around with

43:35

and then let me think so then I have

43:37

this other couple That

43:39

it's funny because they are So

43:41

I'm in you can edit this out,

43:44

but I'm in Utah and so many

43:46

people who used to be Mormon are poly Really?

43:50

Yeah, were you Mormon? Mm-hmm.

43:52

Okay, so I don't know why but there's

43:54

a very interesting Subculture

43:56

in Utah so it goes most of the

43:58

population two out of three million are Mormon.

44:01

Most of them are religious. But then

44:03

the other million are pretty loud and pretty

44:05

intense. And more and more and more, it's

44:07

a bunch of these couples that leave and

44:10

they're not Mormon anymore. But then they go

44:12

all poly and they're fucking around together. Yeah,

44:15

interesting, right? What you resist persists, I think

44:17

it's because they just put so much, tell

44:20

them not to do something that they get out

44:22

and they're like, now I'm going to do that

44:24

exact thing I wasn't allowed to do because that's

44:26

fucking fun. And then you're releasing

44:30

all of these like 25 to 30 year olds

44:32

that have never drank, have never smoked, have never

44:34

done anything. So they go fucking crazy. It's like

44:36

the worst thing you could do to your child

44:38

is like try to repress everything bad in their

44:40

life. But then you did say like you were

44:42

like when you were younger, very sexually repressed because

44:44

you were, I guess morbid.

44:47

Now do you just feel

44:49

so free considering everything that

44:51

you've experienced and you're just

44:53

allowing yourself to do whatever,

44:55

be with whoever, experience whatever

44:58

and no shame or guilt about that at all,

45:00

right? For you? Yep. Yeah. I think so when

45:02

I was little, when I was a kid, I

45:05

was like, okay, there's some hypocrisy here. I can't

45:07

fucking do this shit. Right. So I was still

45:09

in it, but I think once

45:11

I walked away from that completely, I walked away

45:13

from it in my marriage, but once I was

45:15

out of my marriage and then started doing whatever

45:17

I wanted, it was like, okay, this is

45:20

how I'm supposed to live my life. All right, this

45:22

is where here we go. Now we're starting. And

45:24

this feels right for you. Yeah.

45:27

Oh yeah. Right. And what do you enjoy

45:30

the most? Like being a unicorn, being with

45:32

your girl, having a threesome with her. What

45:34

is your top of the mountain? I don't

45:38

think I have a top of the mountain. Honestly,

45:40

I think I like, I like the variety and

45:42

I like the novelty of it. Yeah. You have

45:44

a high sex drive too. Like you said, right?

45:46

Yeah. Yeah. So I think when I

45:48

first met her, I was fucking probably four different

45:50

people a week. Men

45:53

and women all the, all the,

45:55

okay. And now it's slowed down

45:57

a little bit. because

46:00

my daughter and other stuff, but I still

46:02

go see probably two or three people a

46:05

month, a week, depending on where

46:07

I'm at. But

46:09

I think, yeah, I don't know, top of the mountain moves

46:12

for me because I'll think,

46:14

oh yeah, this is this new thing, whatever. This is so hot.

46:16

I want to try this out. And then I either love it.

46:18

And so then I want more and it's not the top of

46:20

the mountain because now I can expand that

46:22

even further. I'm a maximalist person. So I'm like,

46:24

all right, let's get the snacks. Let's get the

46:28

thing. So for Halloween last

46:30

year, we went to

46:32

a party with a bunch of poly people and

46:34

I invited some friends. So we had that couple

46:36

with us. And then we had this girl that

46:38

came and she was, I met

46:40

her and her boyfriend together. Oh,

46:42

that's another couple that I thought actually. So

46:44

this other couple, I went and

46:47

hung out with them. We went on a couple

46:49

of dates. They were both telling me very different

46:51

things though. So she was telling

46:53

me, we're super poly. I want to find

46:55

someone to date together and it's not going

46:58

to be all about sex. And he was

47:00

telling me, I really want to hook up.

47:02

He was sexting me and she knew he

47:04

was sexting me. That wasn't a problem, but

47:07

they were just so completely separate on

47:09

what they wanted. That I don't know.

47:11

It made the sex weird. The sex,

47:13

it was fun when I only fucked

47:16

around with them once that

47:18

it was definitely a clear divide. So

47:20

then after they broke up, I invited

47:22

her to this Halloween party. So it's

47:24

my girl, myself, this couple and this

47:27

single girl go to

47:29

this Halloween party, drink a little bit, smoke

47:31

a little bit, come home. And

47:33

this girl and the husband,

47:36

they are obsessed with each other immediately. And

47:39

then the guy's wife is obsessed

47:41

with my girlfriend. So

47:44

that was super fun for me because both

47:46

of them, they kind of paired up and

47:49

I kind of bounced in between them. And

47:51

I think that's, I think that's probably what

47:53

I like the most is being

47:56

able to bounce in between watching

47:58

or one of my favorite. things

48:01

because guys go crazy as like

48:03

touching their balls or sucking their

48:05

balls while she's riding on him.

48:07

And that's what we did that

48:09

night was Halloween was. Was that the

48:11

MFFFF? I don't know. You did say, oh,

48:14

and I had it. MFFFF. That was that.

48:17

How many women there? Four. Four.

48:20

Oh my goodness. One guy. He

48:24

must have been in his glory. Oh, he

48:27

loved it. Oh yeah. He loved it. Now,

48:29

when you say Polly, what does that mean

48:31

to you? So,

48:34

okay. This is, it's taken me a long time

48:36

to get to this point, right? Because I have

48:38

my thing with romantic love. So I, I think

48:42

the first time I heard Polly, I heard you

48:44

have to be in love with somebody. Oh really?

48:47

And I don't. Yeah. Like I think that's what

48:49

I heard was like, you need to, there is

48:51

this romantic love. So you have, you have relationships

48:53

with all these people. Yeah. That's what I think

48:55

it is. I think it's like you could fall

48:57

in love with more than one person and be

48:59

in love. It was more than one person at

49:01

the same time. Yeah. Yeah,

49:03

exactly. And I think

49:05

it still is that for me, but

49:07

it's more of that possibility. And it's

49:09

more about not closing off that possibility

49:11

than it is about actually requiring that

49:13

in every relationship. Right. And

49:16

like you said, your, for you,

49:18

Polly can be this dynamic that

49:20

I never heard of where typically

49:22

there is that primary relationship, right?

49:24

But you, there is a Polly

49:26

dynamic that you're

49:28

saying where you're your primary relationship, meaning you

49:30

don't have a primary relationship. It's with yourself.

49:33

And so then you could have a bunch

49:35

of other people you're into, but no one's

49:37

going to be your primary. Exactly.

49:39

But let me ask you this. Okay. Like your

49:42

girl, you, you guys are in love with each

49:44

other. She's living with you. Say

49:46

she goes on a date tomorrow and she, you

49:49

know, starts falling in like she comes home

49:51

and she's got like a thing

49:53

with somebody else. That's like just as

49:55

good as you, if not better and

49:58

a connection. And she. she starts falling in love

50:00

with that person. Is that going to make you

50:03

feel any way or are you cool with that?

50:06

So my thing, I can't remember where I

50:08

read it, but there was a really

50:11

interesting polyprinciple which was that requiring

50:14

or being with partners that are able to

50:16

maintain a relationship of quality with you while

50:18

they do something with someone else. So

50:21

for me, it's a lot more about, okay, are

50:23

you able to be in love with that person

50:25

and be through the wide and also still be

50:27

here when we're here with you? Because I love

50:29

that. I love

50:31

hearing about other people's relationships. I

50:34

love seeing, like my compressive tick is so

50:36

strong. I'm that person that's like showing up

50:39

at my friend's events. Yes, I want everybody

50:41

to win. Yeah, that's awesome. So

50:43

yeah, so for me, it's a lot more like

50:45

it only would become a problem if I feel

50:47

like, okay, now I'm getting disconnected from an order

50:49

for you to go and do that thing. But

50:52

even in that situation, I feel like from

50:54

my approach, that is still, okay, this is what I need

50:56

from you, not why are you doing that with them? Yeah,

50:59

that makes sense. And so as long as you're

51:02

getting what you need, you're not afraid. I think

51:04

it's like my fear of abandonment would never allow

51:06

me to do it like that. I think it's

51:08

everyone's biggest fear and the reason why most people

51:10

couldn't do it. But I think that if you're

51:13

on the same page and everything's cool and you

51:15

don't have that fear of abandonment or whatever, and

51:17

you can roll that way, that's what I think,

51:19

like why people are more evolved than I am,

51:21

because that's amazing that you could give

51:24

someone else that freedom and for

51:26

them to do their thing without

51:28

worrying about it. Yeah, yeah. And

51:30

it's interesting because I

51:33

think honestly having my daughter really pushed my

51:35

brain out even more outside of that poly

51:37

space because let's say you have to pick

51:39

one person, now you have a mom and

51:41

a dad, right? Which one

51:43

are you going to pick? You're going to love

51:45

two people. Yeah, same if you had five kids,

51:47

right? You love five kids. I only had one

51:49

because I'm like, I can't imagine loving more than

51:51

one. Same, same. I'm

51:53

like, my kid, she's a bad at. But

51:57

I think that just like looking at that

51:59

different way. of it of, okay, so if

52:02

I fall in love with somebody, it's different than if I

52:04

fall in love with this person because it's very person specific.

52:06

And I think that a big part of that is

52:09

going into a relationship. I think a

52:11

big part that triggers that abandonment is when

52:13

we get into that codependency part, but

52:15

we don't actually realize it's codependent

52:18

because most relationships in our culture

52:20

are codependent by nature. Yeah. Especially

52:22

when you're moved in and they're filling the

52:24

bill, there's a lot to lose. Yeah, exactly.

52:26

So I think that it's got

52:29

to be a lot harder for people that go

52:31

from monogamous to poly. I understand that's probably a

52:33

completely different transition, but I think if you're going

52:35

from the beginning and going, okay, this is my

52:37

identity and I'm going to be here with you,

52:40

but my identity is still mine and

52:42

I'm still a separate person, it is a

52:44

lot easier to deal with that stuff that

52:46

comes up because I definitely get triggered sometimes.

52:48

I definitely get like a tinge of jealousy

52:50

and have to work through that. But also

52:53

I think that that's not just

52:55

helped my emotional maturity and my emotional intelligence

52:57

to figure out why I feel about that.

53:00

And it's almost always way more

53:03

about something else or a past situation or

53:05

whatever has come up than it is actually

53:07

about this person is putting their mouth on

53:09

that person or they feel this thing with

53:11

someone else. It's

53:13

not about that unless I feel like I'm not

53:15

enough already. If I feel like I'm enough,

53:18

then they're great. You'll find somebody, but you're going

53:21

to replace me with somebody that's not me. If

53:24

you don't want to be with me, that's great, but

53:26

you're not going to find a better version of myself

53:28

because I'm the only person that's myself. Right. You're

53:30

your only you. Yeah. Listen, I've

53:32

talked to couples who have played solo and

53:35

then eventually started to have feelings and some

53:37

of them can't make it through something like

53:39

that, but the ones that do, it's all

53:41

about communication and working through like they've always

53:43

sort of explained it the same way you

53:45

have, like working through their own shit and

53:47

realize where that stuff is coming from. You

53:49

have to work past it. There's like freedom

53:51

in that. Like I had this woman Jasmine

53:54

on who's really cool and she's like super

53:56

hardcore. Her and her husband like way

53:58

later in their marriage opened up. and did all kinds

54:00

of crazy things, but then started to have solo partners.

54:02

And now they both have boyfriends and girlfriends, but it

54:05

was hard at first to work through, but they worked

54:07

through that stuff and they're able

54:09

to now have it all and totally fine

54:11

with it. But it took a little work,

54:13

for sure. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think

54:16

that is with any relationship, right? Like people

54:18

that are married for 20 years tell

54:20

you that it's shitty. They don't tell you that this has

54:22

been the best 20 years of their life. They tell you

54:24

it's been hard. And I think it's just different

54:27

challenges and different things that you're picking. Yeah,

54:29

yeah. Now you're a girl. You're the infidelity in that

54:31

20 year marriage and working through infidelity. Are you figuring

54:33

out how to be okay while your partner's on a

54:35

date and you're at home? But

54:37

you're a girl now. Does she consider

54:39

herself Polly too? Yes, right? So

54:42

she considers herself more non-monogamous. I

54:47

think she doesn't connect so

54:49

much with that emotional connection aspect of

54:52

Polly, maybe. Uh-huh. So the

54:54

way she's described it to me is she likes

54:56

having more play partners and then her and I

54:58

in a relationship and then she has her play

55:00

partners that she goes and sees or we go

55:02

see together. Right, but she's just fine with just

55:04

digging you and that's where her emotion lies. So

55:07

for her, you are her primary. Yeah.

55:10

But she's cool with you going and playing with other people

55:12

and stuff like that. Yeah, and

55:14

like I said, we do that together. And

55:16

she's pretty much every year. She's been married

55:18

before. I've been married before, but her marriage,

55:20

she was non-monogamous in her marriage and she's

55:22

been non-monogamous in almost all of her relationships.

55:24

Right, so she's very non-monogamous. Yeah,

55:27

yeah, so she was very comfortable with that

55:29

dynamic coming into it, so that's been helpful.

55:31

Last question, do your family and friends know that

55:33

you're living with a woman and you're dating a

55:36

woman now or that you're Polly? Are you like

55:38

very out or is it this a secret life

55:40

that you lead? So

55:43

everybody knows that I have a girlfriend that

55:45

my family lives, like my parents live next door to

55:47

me actually, so they know her and they interact with

55:49

her a lot. But I

55:53

don't, I don't know,

55:55

I don't talk to many people about my other relationships

55:57

or about hooking up with other people or being Polly.

56:00

I'd say like my close friends know, but that's pretty

56:02

much it just because like I'm a business owner. I'm

56:05

a mom crazy ex. I don't need to

56:07

give him any more information, but the funny

56:09

part is, is my crazy ex and his

56:11

girlfriend are dating together. Oh, hilarious.

56:13

They're probably looking for dudes. Are they looking

56:16

for dudes? Yeah, he is. Yeah, there you

56:18

go. So he came into his own too.

56:20

Listen, you guys were like early twenties when

56:22

you were together, right? Yeah. Everyone's

56:25

kind of fucked up when they're early twenties. I can't stand

56:27

when I hear people like in their fifties and they're still

56:29

mad at people from their twenties. I'm like,

56:31

you can't judge somebody for what they do in

56:33

their twenties. Trust me, when you're like 45, you'll

56:35

look back and be like, he's probably going to

56:37

be a different person by then. Hopefully. I

56:40

mean, you should like sort of grow and change, but a

56:42

lot of people are fucked up when they're in their twenties.

56:44

So we don't know who he's going to be 20 years

56:47

from now. Hopefully a lot better than he

56:49

was when he was young, that young to

56:51

be married and have kids. Yeah.

56:54

Especially with that religious aspect where if you get married

56:56

now you're done. Okay. Well now you

56:58

have to live another fucking 80 years. Oh my God.

57:01

What do you mean you're married and you're done forever?

57:03

No, it's like this shit's going to come up. Oh

57:05

my God. Yeah. Crazy. I'm

57:08

always like do marriage math. I always always obsessed

57:10

with marriage math and I just claustrophobic as far

57:12

as I can't be with one person for 60

57:14

years. Like I'd rather kill

57:16

myself. Like and I love my life, but I

57:19

always have like people projecting people that are real

57:21

relationship, people projecting their shit onto me. Like, oh,

57:23

you don't understand what you're missing. Like you could

57:25

have had this. I'm like, I wouldn't have wanted

57:28

that if you paid me a million dollars. Like

57:30

I love my life. I love that I've been

57:32

with tons of guys and had so many different

57:34

relationships and met so many different people. I wouldn't

57:37

have wanted to do it with one person my

57:39

whole life. Like now I feel like I could

57:41

be with someone for 10 years, but I would

57:43

have never been able to be at that place

57:45

if I hadn't had 50, 70, 100 guys before.

57:49

Because I like that variety

57:52

and that's more interesting to me.

57:54

Yeah. I'm curious. I

57:56

have a question with your son. Yeah.

58:00

you're saying like it's hard to do the math with that.

58:02

Was it an adjustment for you to do the math with

58:04

having your son or was that a different relationship? What do

58:06

you mean, as far as just having a baby? Yeah,

58:08

like doing the math of if there's a baby and

58:10

he's going to be in your house for this many

58:12

years. Oh no, no, no, no. I never had any

58:15

kind of claustrophobic thing about that. I was very

58:17

ready though. I had my kid when I was

58:19

46. I had been there,

58:21

done that. And so I did it

58:23

at the right time for me. I had already quit

58:26

drinking. I was kind of like when I'd see people

58:28

in line for a bar, I'd be like, I'd rather

58:30

be changing diapers. And there wasn't one day in my

58:32

life when I was with my son taking care of

58:34

him that I ever thought, oh, I wish I was

58:37

out because I had done everything in my life that

58:39

I wanted to do. I was like, now what? You

58:41

know what I mean? So to me being a mom

58:43

is the greatest thing. So no, that has never been,

58:46

that has been the most natural, easy thing in my

58:48

life. Good. Yeah. Awesome.

58:50

So no, but if I would have had him at 25,

58:52

I probably would have thrown him out the window. I

58:55

feel like this is hard. I get why parents

58:58

aren't so great when they have kids younger because

59:00

it's a lot of work and it's really hard.

59:02

Like I could go on and on about it,

59:05

but I had a baby older and so it was

59:07

just easy for me to be the kind of mom

59:09

I wanted to be and be a good mom and

59:11

be very present. And I still, I have an eight

59:13

year old and I'm 55 and I love it. It

59:15

keeps me young. I, and he's

59:17

the best. But listen, I mean, I feel

59:19

like I could have gotten a million stories

59:21

from you because you

59:23

have so many and such that you lead a

59:25

very interesting life. You know that I always look

59:28

for picks if you want to send me anonymous

59:30

picks for my Patreon. And

59:32

so many people are going to be looking for you

59:34

because I can't tell you how many people are like,

59:36

how do you find a unicorn? How do you find

59:38

a, it's young unicorn. I had a whole conversation with

59:41

someone who's looking for a young unicorn. They're going to

59:43

be looking for you. So yeah. So you could also

59:45

go onto my Discord afterwards. I'll give you free access

59:47

to that and you could put anything up there, but

59:49

thanks so much for calling in and sharing your story.

59:51

It was super interesting. Get me

59:53

your pick sooner than later, like ASAP. Okay. Send them

59:56

to me. All right. Awesome. Thanks so much for calling

59:58

in. Yeah. Thank you. It's great

1:00:00

to meet you. Bye, Bella. Bye.

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1:00:59

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1:01:01

If you want to be on the

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