This week, I’m talking to a mom with an all-too-familiar problem:  Her teenager, diagnosed for years now and a conscientious diabetes manager until recently, has basically given up on bolusing.  Mom is at her wit’s end, trying to figure out how to help her daughter pick this habit back up.  She’s tried lots of strategies: motivational talk, discussion of best health practices, and even threats.  None of it seems to be working.  And mom just feels like a constant (and exhausted) nag. 

Together we try to reconceptualize the issue: Instead of it being that her daughter is being rebellious, we think about how something has clearly changed for this teen. We look at different ways to approach the conversation with this girl so she is more likely to take up her own care. One suggestion has to do with getting curious about her experience: What happens when mom reminds her to dose? What makes it hard to dose at school? What are her reactions that are getting in the way of adequate diabetes management? The other idea we played with has to do with mom brainstorming with her daughter to set some guidelines around management and then letting her try to fly on her own — without mom’s involvement. Importantly, we also discuss how diabetes has become such a point of contention in their relationship. And we look at how and why it’s critical to create some shift, since our kids really need us alongside them with their T1D challenges.

Listen to hear more about:

• Ways getting curious can be helpful and how to do that
• Why questions that start with “why” are almost never useful
• Thinking about how and what to negotiate with a non-compliant teen, including how to make agreements so you can step back from some management tasks
• Reprioritizing the relationship so mom and daughter can keep the conversation about diabetes in the mix
• How to even start this difficult conversation

Mentioned in this episode:

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